


we will call this place our home

by Toitoitoi



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Absolute fluff, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Cool grandpa Han, Dad!ben, F/M, Family Fluff, Finn Poe Rose and Kaydel are part of the friend group, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo babies, We really need reylo fluff after TROS, Writer!Ben, artsy!Rey, backstories, college!Reylo, domestic AU, grandmother Leia all of us need, happy endings, mama!Rey, mentions of Padme and Anakin, probably just a lot of one shots, pure fluff, some smut whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:14:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 193,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22216126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toitoitoi/pseuds/Toitoitoi
Summary: “we'll tell our stories on these walls.every year, measure how tall.and just like a work of artwe'll tell our stories on these walls.”- North; Sleeping at Last—Ben and Rey’s adventures in life, love, and parenthood.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Kaydel Ko Connix/Poe Dameron, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 30
Kudos: 96





	1. I’ll Keep You Safe

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my first story I’ve posted on here, but not the first I’ve ever written. I’m relatively new to the fandom but Reylo just has my heart. I’ve been searching for a collection of domestic fluff for these two and haven’t found many. There were a couple that inspired me (thank you @castles_and_crowns and @WaterlilyRose); the sweetness dripped from your words like honey and I wanted to try my hand. Updates may be sporadic, but I wanted to share tenderness with you. I hope you all enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I'll keep you safe  
> Try hard to concentrate  
> Hold out your hand  
> Can you feel the weight of it  
> The whole world at your fingertips  
> Don't be, don't be afraid  
> Our mistakes they were bound to be made  
> But I promise you I'll keep you safe.”  
> \- I’ll Keep You Safe; Sleeping at Last
> 
> —  
> It’s a stormy night and Ben’s only hope is that he can keep her safe through the storm like his father did for him.

Ben loves his girl. 

Not that he had a choice, look at her—she’s got these big hazel eyes that sometimes glimmer a honey brown when the setting sun shines one of its last rays on her beautiful face. She’s got this untamable mass of perfectly wavy, and almost black, hair that curls just before her ears. And don’t even get him started on those—he’d prayed and prayed that she wouldn’t inherit his ears, these ears that his lovely wife told him reminded her of Dumbo. But alas, this sweet girl was doomed. However he wouldn’t stand for her to get the same teasing as he did for them. (“Honestly, Ben,” she had said one night he decided to tell her about the teasing while they were still co-sleeping with their tiny baby. “This tragic backstory sounds just like Dumbo’s. I mean, have you ever seen the movie?”) 

His girl’s got these tiny freckles that dust across her delicate features: the adorable swoop of the bridge of her nose, a few right underneath her eyes Ben swears looks like a constellation, and one that hides behind the little curl sitting in front of her right ear. Ben kisses each spot every so often to get a giggle out of her, and tells her with each mark is an extra sprinkle of beauty. 

She’s not a very big thing. For four years old, she’s little—Ben swears that it’s his wife’s genetic responsibility, yet she begs to differ because of how tiny his own mother is. He only gives her a pouty humph and sweeps his baby girl into his arms for safekeeping. 

When she was born, Ben couldn’t stop staring. He had never truly been so close to a human being who was that tiny. His hand alone was the length of her entire body (minus her head). He could hold her like some sort of football, like the one he and his dad used to toss around in the backyard. Whenever his precious but mighty force of a wife (not just because she created and brought this beautiful, small human into the world) would unswattle her, Ben itched for the opportunity just to count her tiny fingers and toes. One of the first few times he did that was when he was awake with her, letting his sweetheart get some well-deserved rest. The little baby was laying in a baby nest on the small couch Ben occupied. He laid on his left side, propping his head up with his hand while using the other to tenderly draw the outline of his tiny girl’s digits. Every so often, she would interrupt him by instinctively grabbing ahold of his larger finger in her fist. 

His mother told him it was a natural reflex for babies to do that, but he didn’t care. She was holding onto him, and he swore that he wouldn’t let her go anytime soon. 

His wife thought he spoils her. He might, but it didn’t make him stop. 

The little girl has been the only other human addition to their little family since that warm July morning four years ago. Ben’s heart swelled in pride as he watched her grow and devoted as much time as he could with her. Whenever her third birthday came around, he couldn’t believe how much she had developed as not only a human, but as a little person. She never met a stranger—another one of his wife’s wonderful characteristics—and always had the sweetest smile on her face. She was a happy baby, and continued to be a happy toddler. His girl was super intelligent as well, learning her alphabet very quickly because of Ben bouncing her around in the kitchen wearing his wife’s Boba wrap and singing the silly song he heard from the television. 

Reading was an easy feat for the baby because of the little family’s nightly routine of story time and bedtime snuggles. Ben loved reading to his darling girl. She giggled and squealed every time he became animated for the character, and began to mimic his voice inflections and sounds (or at least tried to). 

Needless to say, Ben loved his girl. 

She was the best thing he had ever done. 

—

It was one of the first storms of the season. 

Summer had ended just a few days ago, the last warm day being one Ben and his little tribe used to their advantage. They went to the community pool for one of the last times of the year, congregating with many of their neighborhood and family friends all while trying their best to entertain the multiple children. If this didn’t explain how much Ben’s life had changed domestically, he didn’t know what did. 

Maybe it was all the nights folding the laundry with his wife, or it was now making meals for three, one being of a smaller (and sometimes of a stark contrast to what he had originally made) portion for his girl. Whatever it was, he never escaped the dad life. 

And even on this night, while sleeping, his Super Dad cape never hung too far away. 

“Daddy,” a small voice whispered for the third time, finally pulling him out of a deep sleep. Because of how dark the night sky was, and the monotonous sound of the rain, Ben had no problem drifting off. He was only surprised at how long it took him to regain his awareness, especially with the anxiousness and desperation in this little voice. 

His eyes fluttered open, squinting a little in the dark room. The only light being the occasional glimpse of moonlight from the closed bamboo blinds, the spontaneous flashes of lightening, and a small wall light coming from the hallway across from their bed.  
Even though he couldn’t make out every detail, he knew who the small voice belonged to. 

“Sweetheart,” he spoke in a quiet raspy voice, heavy with sleep. He propped himself up on his elbow, the thin slate blue shirt he had on straining against his well-sculpted bicep. He rubbed his eyes briefly before blinking at her again and reaching out to brush his thumb against her cheek. It was damp. 

“Ivy, is everything okay?” Ben’s brow furrowed as he sat up even quicker, but careful not to wake up his sleeping wife. With his feet planted on the soft creamy peach carpet, he leaned forward and reached out to his girl, his trembling girl, who was clutching her stuffed bunny close to her body. With a gentle hand, he brushed her wild curls away from her face and dried her damp cheeks. 

“D-Daddy,” she quietly cried, looking up to him with her hazel eyes that now were darker and full of tears yet to be shed. “T-the rain—it, it scared me, a-and then the, the loud noises. T-They won’t stop!” She hiccuped and Ben shushed her softly, pulling her into his strong arms and leaning her against his chest. He stood up slowly, her sniffling continuing as she gripped onto him for dear life, while also clinging onto that poor stuffed bunny. He leaned his head against hers and quietly padded out of the master bedroom so they could go talk. 

He walked down the hallway that led into the open living room and kitchen, tall windows that reached from floor to ceiling displayed the occasional lightening show and the dancing of the falling rain. It was dark, and Ben couldn’t recall how long it had been since it had truly stormed like this. No wonder why his precious girl was so scared. 

He made his way over to the teal armchair, slowly lowering them both down into the soft cushion and let her rest against his chest. He pulled the cactus-themed throw blanket off the back of the chair and draped it across her trembling form. His large hand came up to rest on her back, rubbing small patterns in an attempt to get her to calm down. 

“What scared you so much, Little Vine? How hard the rain is pouring?” He held her close to him, slowly starting to feel her trembling come to an end. She shook her head, still grasping onto his shirt and fidgeting with the long ear of her bunny.

“No. T-the rain isn’t that scary.” She sniffled. 

“Okay, if the rain isn’t that scary, then what did scare you?”

“The lightning.” 

Ben understood. But as her father, he wanted her to be able to express her feelings and understand why she felt the way she did. “What about the lightning makes you feel scared?”

“When there’s lightning, there are loud noises. The noises are really big.” Such a smart girl, he thought. 

“Do those big noises make you feel small,” Ben asked her gently. Then, he tilted his head so he could get a better look at her, her eyes wide still, but the crying had stopped.

“Uh-huh,” Ivy sounded. 

Ben knew exactly how she felt. Whenever he was near her age, he used to be terrified of storms. The rumbles of thunder would roll for longer than five seconds sometimes where he lived as a boy. He tried his hardest to be brave, like his mom always told him to be, but there were times that he would give into the fear and cry. Those nights were hard. 

—

Until one night, he decided that he wasn’t going to spend a scary night like that alone. It wasn’t too late in the evening, but his mother had already gone to bed. He padded out of his bedroom and down the hallway to see the television showing the weather channel, and his daredevil of a father standing right in front of the glass sliding door. He was watching the giant storm with an excited look in his eyes, hands on his hips, and chuckling under his breath after a lightning strike hit somewhere farther off. 

Trying to be brave like his father, he wondered over to the glass door, trying to stand tall like his father. Han looked down to the boy, grinning before ruffling the shaggy dark hair. Ben looked up to him with a shaky smile. 

“Hey, kid. Did the storm wake you up?”

“Yeah.”

“They wake me up too. But I love it when they do, because then I get to catch every time the lightning hits the ground.” Han looked back up through the glass door, his hand settling on his son’s shoulder. 

They stood there listening to the rain as it poured heavily against the roof. Then suddenly, there was another flash about three miles out from their backyard. Han’s eyes widened at the thrill, where Ben’s did in trepidation. 

“Wasn’t that cool, son? Did you get to see it?” Han used his other hand to point where the lightning struck, leaning closer to his boy as Ben gulped. 

Not long after, a large boom of thunder rumbled throughout the air, causing Ben to jump and cling to his father’s side. Han, shocked from the sudden grasp of his child’s arms, slowly began to realize what was going on. With a sympathetic smile, he ruffled the boy’s hair again and wrapped his other arm around him. 

Bending down so that he was eye height with Ben, he pulled the boy close as they both continued to look outside. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, Ben. We’re inside and safe from the storm. Whenever lightning strikes, thunder always follows. It’s just the sound of science doing its awesome job.”

Ben nodded, recalling back to the day he was in school and learned about weather. He knew there was more to what was happening in the sky, but he didn’t push further. 

“When I was your age, your uncle and I would watch for lightening and when it hit, we’d try to see how many jumping jacks we could do until the thunder happened.”

“You were never scared of storms?” Ben looked to his father with wide brown eyes, like his mother’s. 

“Never phased me one bit. But your uncle, he was terrified. One night, it woke up from his sleep and he hopped into my bed and slept with me the whole night. And I shared a room with him!”

Ben looked down to his feet, almost ashamed to not be as brave as his dad. Han saw his son’s reaction and squeezed him tighter. 

“But I taught him how to get over the fear. We played that game so much until one night, he didn’t need it anymore!”

The young boy’s eyes dashed back to his father’s with hope. Han gave him a soft smile. “It’s okay to be scared of something, kiddo. But it’s how you choose to respond and face the fear is what’s important. Now, the next time we see lightning, we’re gonna play a game.”

“Okay.”

“When the lightning flashes, we’re gonna strike as many superhero poses as we can until the thunder happens. It’ll be a competition.”

Ben’s entire demeanor shifted as he prepared himself to make the best poses. He read more comics than his dad, after all. A grin appeared on his face as he went to press his nose to the glass. Han chuckled and pulled him back to a safe distance, keeping his hand on his son’s shoulder as the boy bounced in anticipation. 

Lightning struck the ground once again and the two of them started their game. Quiet laughter filled the living room that night, along with the weather man’s conclusion of where the storm would move to, and the sound of the rain becoming less and less frightening. 

—

Ben’s heart warmed to that special memory with his father. Han was never a deeply sentimental man, but when it came to a certain number of things, like teaching his boy something, he did it with pride. 

“I used to be scared of thunder too,” he whispered to his daughter. Then, standing from the comfortable chair, he walked them both over to the tall window to watch the storm, just as his father did with him all those years ago. Ivy clutches onto him tighter, a quiet whimper escaping her as they neared where the big noises kept coming from. 

“Don’t be scared, sweetheart. We’re safe inside. I’ve got you,” he consoled, holding her in a tighter embrace. “Pops taught me how to not be scared of storms when I was little.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh. Whenever we saw lightning, we had to make ourselves look like superhero’s until the big sounds started.”

Ivy giggled. “That’s silly, Daddy!”

“It is! But eventually I stopped being scared of the thunder because I felt brave. Superhero’s make me feel brave.” He smiles and placed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “What makes you feel brave?”

“Being a ballerina!” Ivy pushed herself up from leaning against her father’s chest, a playful smile stretching across her delicate features. Ben met her eyes, nodding in confirmation. 

“Okay. Since you feel that way, we’re going to pretend we’re the prettiest ballerinas until the thunder starts.”

Her eyes widened in excitement. “Can we spin?”

“As long as you count how many times you spin.”

She squirmed in his hold, signifying that she was ready to start. He gave a quiet chuckle that echoed through the open space of the living area and sat her down on her feet. After a few moments of her bouncing, the lightning flashed again and they were off. Both father and daughter were counting aloud how many times they twirled in a circle in the “perfect” ballerina pose until the thunder rolled. Ivy stopped and giggled at her silly daddy, looking up to him and bouncing on the little balls of her feet. “Again, again!”

They did this a number of times until Ben started to notice that she was starting to get sleepy once again. Her anxiety had decreased drastically, Ben sensed, and he was glad for it. There was only so many times he could twirl. 

Yawning after another roll of thunder, Ivy grabbed her bunny and lifted her arms up to her father. Ben scooped her up, going back to drape the blanket on the armchair once again. 

He looked over to the archway of the hall, and his beautiful, sleepy wife stood there in her white robe, and a loving smile written across her face. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she leaned against the wooden beam. Ben returned that smile and padded towards her. As they united, his wife petted her baby’s dark hair and then ran her hand down to Ivy’s back. She leaned into the small girl, pressing her lips to the delicate skin of Ivy’s cheek before whispering to the both of them. “Let’s go back to bed, my loves.” 

With her hand on the small of her husband’s back, the three of them treaded back to the master bedroom, all finding their spots and settling in for the night. Then, they were quickly back to sleep as the storm raged on, lulling them into a well-deserved rest.


	2. Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”’Cause you are loved.  
> You are loved more than you know.  
> I hereby pledge all of my days  
> To prove it so.  
> Though your heart is far too young to realize  
> The unimaginable light you hold inside,  
> I'll give you everything I have.  
> I'll teach you everything I know.“  
> \- Light; Sleeping at Last  
> —  
> Ivy’s piano lesson is today, which inspires her curious little mind to want her mama to learn as well. Who knew that sight alone could do wonders in Ben’s heart.

Rey is smitten. 

She had always dreamed of this life: a beautiful home that she and her husband built together, a secure job that she loved, and a family. A family that was all her own and wouldn’t abandon her. Unfortunately, due to circumstances in her childhood, she never felt like she was safe. Her security always felt in jeopardy, but eventually fizzled out that night her then-boyfriend had sat with her on the balcony of her apartment and promised her she would never be alone. 

But what she was least prepared for was the extra joy that her husband and her baby brought her. The day that she and Ben were married was the day she finally felt safe. With her eyes locked in his, smile spread across her face with the slightest flush in her cheeks, he confirmed that she was his only one, and she should never fear security ever again. Of course, when they got engaged, most of that anxiety of abandonment had fled. But there was always that looming shadow over her shoulder that would remind her that anything was possible. 

Their marriage, she describes to their friends, is something that she could have read in a fairytale. She and Ben had been very plain in what they wanted from each other: comfort; security; safety. They didn’t have to have flashy things, and they most definitely didn’t have to be the center of attention (which she believes they could have been with Ben’s impressive looks and mysterious way to intrigue people). She had come from nothing, both of them determined, and wasn’t used to being showered in luxury or tangible things. They made a pact with one another: money was never to come first in their relationship. As long as they were okay between themselves, money would figure itself out. 

Ben promised her the world and wanted nothing more than to show her the incredible things in life, but she wanted little to do with that dream. She always worked for the things she wanted, and so far it had gotten her pretty far. But if Ben wanted to surprise her every so often, though not as often as he preferred, she would cope happily. 

This fairytale of hers was not one she’d find on a Disney movie that her daughter watches so frequently, but one she desired: Simplicity. She dwells in those mornings drinking honey-lemon tea with her husband. He carefully takes his coffee, reading the morning news on his phone as she details her day in her artsy agenda. She enjoys evening walks with her family and their beagle, Bee (BeeBee, as Ivy refers to him), around the neighborhood during the warmer days. She loves it when her daughter comes to her, stopping her playing because something isn’t absolutely right with one of her toys, knowing her mama can instantly make it better. There are many more moments that come to her mind when she explains her fairytale, but hey—it’s all hers. 

All the hard work she poured herself into throughout her years got her far in life. It was the only way she was able to attend a university for a degree that would have been unattainable with no scholarship or financial aid. She’s handy. She knows how to tinker with all kinds of objects to make them better than they were before (“magic hands,” Ben would tease her in bed before he would nuzzle his face into her neck, pressing kisses along her sweet skin while the flush burned scarlet in her cheeks). 

She was artistic. Many of her paintings hung up around their beautifully built home—that she and Ben built together, she’d add—and a beautiful mural she imagined was painted in her baby’s room. Even as heavily pregnant as she was, and Ben’s incessant protests, she sat in some painting (maternity) overalls, hair braided around her head, with streaks of paint on her cheeks and hands, and a smile on her face. She was creating life and art simultaneously and she couldn’t have been happier. 

Rey and Ben built their house together before they were married. They knew that the small one bedroom apartment they shared would not be enough for them once they married. Rey always wanted to host dinners and have as many people in her home as possible—something she never had. She wanted Christmas’ mornings and Thanksgivings with Ben’s family and their friends, Halloween parties, and weekly dinners with those they were close to. And as an engineering major with some emphasis in interior design, she and Ben decided it was best they designed their own home, one built in love and optimism of the future. 

She has her own office (“private studio,” she corrects Ben when he brings it up). In that office is a mirage of artistry supplies, easels, brushes, various paints, painting equipment, tools, etc. In the middle of the room sits a wooden table, covered in various colors of paint as it is the main space she does her work. Rolling stools and chairs sit around the table, some used more than others. But sun pours into the room, just as she likes, through the tall windows. It’s her tranquility space (that’s not her and her husband’s bedroom) that she goes to as an oasis. 

—

Today she’s not in her oasis. 

At least, she’s not in that specific oasis. Rey’s place of rest was currently in her teal armchair, one of her favorite colored pieces of the living room collection she picked. She was curled up on the soft cushion with her knees brought up, and her sketch pad resting on the right arm. Her job today was to sketch out an interpretation she had of a young couple’s bedroom, but her mind and eyes could not linger on the task. Her fingers fiddled with her pen as she watched her baby sitting on the bench of a wooden piano in their living room. Ben had been adamant that Ivy take lessons, even as young as she is. His grandmother taught him how to play when he was a young boy, and he still keeps it up in her legacy. Rey, not really having a musical bone in her body, was excited for her little Virtuoso to blossom. 

Ivy was plopped in the middle of the bench, her little legs swinging underneath her as her teacher, Miss Olivia, sat in a chair next to her, discussing specifics in the little girl’s finger positions. Rey giggled to herself as she watched her daughter’s legs swing to a rhythm, and never touching the pedals of the piano. 

Focus, she told herself as she turned her head back to her notepad, trying to finish this sketch before the night ended and her meeting with the couple tomorrow morning. Every so often, she’d turn her gaze back to her girl, who looked so much like her father, and just marvel at her. That baby was a miracle, and Rey remembered this every day. But right now, she had about fifteen more minutes before Ivy’s lesson ended and she returned to mom duty.

—

“Did you hear me, Mama? Did you hear what I played today?” Rey walked the sweet teacher out of the house and waved her off with Ivy and Bee by her side. Ivy’s excitement for her mama’s approval popped when they returned inside, showing through her wide, happy hazel eyes and bright grin. Rey bent down, pressing a kiss to Ivy’s cheek and lightly pinching her chin. 

“I did, Little Dove! You sounded so beautifully!” Rey beamed at her musical baby and brushed her stray curls away from her face. She gave Bee a thorough petting (the beagle wagging his tail happily and giving a doggy grin in return) before standing back up and walking across the space to the kitchen part. “I didn’t know you could play so well!”

Ivy followed her mama as quick as possible, calling Bee to tag along. “Miss Olivia says it’s the best she’s ever heard!” 

Rey chuckled. “Baby, your playing is fantastic. I think she’s serious,” she responded as she began to pull out ingredients for tonight’s family meal. 

“Thank you, Mama,” Ivy responded sweetly, giving her the same shy look Ben would give her when she complimented him. “One day, I’m going to play as good as you and Daddy.”

“Ivy, you know I don’t play piano,” Rey gave her a confused look, continuing her task. 

“I can teach you!” Her eyes lit up as was now in the barstool chair, leaning her body against the marble island, supporting herself on her hands. “Mama, let me teach you! Please! I’m good at it, and you will be too!”

“I’d love to be taught by you, my Dove, but I’ve got to make dinner for all of us.”

“Mama,” Ivy draws out, puppy dog eyes shining with full force. “Please!” 

Rey stands there bitting the inside of her cheek in contemplation. The only noise between them both was the happy tapping of Bee’s paws on the hardwood floor. Usually, she doesn’t give in to her daughter’s begging, and has many a time scolded Ben for doing so. But Ivy did a spectacular job today in her lesson. Rey usually didn’t get to sit in because Ben was the one at home. Today was an exception, as to why she worked from home and Ben was gone. 

The longing look in her daughter’s eyes was just enough to make Rey relent, as she knew this would be important for her girl. Releasing a held breath, she looked to Ivy with a determined grin on her face. 

“Let’s do it.”

Ivy squealed with glee as she slid out of the chair, running away from the kitchen area into the open living concept, grabbing her piano books from where they were closed. Rey let out a laugh as she padded over to the piano, excitement bubbling inside her. She’d never had the opportunity to take piano lessons, or any kind of instrumental lesson for that matter. She wasn’t musical by any means, but that never inhibited her curiosity. 

Funnily enough, they both found themselves sharing the bench, both small enough to leave enough space. Ivy’s child piano book gave Rey basic instructions on where to place her fingers after Ivy explained the letters and which keys represented what letter. Even though she was four, she had an excellent way of telling Rey exactly what she needed to know. Eventually, both of them were able to knock out the first song, both hands for each staff at once. After a moment of complete giddy and love shared between mother and daughter, they moved onto the second song with Bee happily wagging his tail from behind them. 

—

Ben closed the door to the garage and slipped his windbreaker off and hung it on the coat wrack built into the wall. He hung his keys on the hook and began making his way up the stairs from the small landing area. Even though their house had a main floor, their garage was underneath the house, where a basement would be. I neat concept only imagined by his quirky wife. 

He climbed the stairs slowly, loosening his tie from around his neck and sliding it off. As he ascended, he heard the distinct sounds of the piano keys being hit in broken increments. His mind immediately assumed Ivy was practicing again, even though she had her lesson earlier this afternoon. He smiled at the thought of his diligent baby girl. 

Ben tipped his head up as he arrived to the main level of the house, but was shocked at the sight. It wasn’t just Ivy sitting at the piano. It was his little family, dog and all, at the instrument. He gaped at them, heart swelling with pride and adoration as he listened to their conversation. Rey’s gentle British accent asking simple but necessary questions of their daughter, who was efficiently providing correct answers, at least to Ben’s awareness of the context. He leaned against the railing, watching in utter amazement as the two of them played a simple song together, Ivy’s mama keeping up with her, but careful not to overtake her. 

“That was beautiful, ladies,” Ben exclaimed once they had finished and gave each other a high five. Both of his girls jumped in surprise to the presence they weren’t aware was there, but both splitting blinding smiles. Ben leaned up from the railing and headed towards them, hands clapping together lightly to not rile up Bee. 

“Daddy!” Ivy exclaimed, twisting her body around so she could greet her father. Sliding off, she closed the distance between her and Ben, arms extended to give him the biggest hug ever. He had been gone for a long time!

Ben reached down to pick up his girl, spinning them in a circle as he peppered kisses all about her face. Her giggles escalated and Bee’s barks began. Rey chuckled and leaned down to scratch the head of her restless pooch. She used the other hand to close the lid to the piano, and turned fully around to her little family. 

Settling his girl on his hip, Ben asked, “how was your day, Ivy?” 

“Really good! Miss Brenda’s school was good. I drew a lot of pictures and practiced the alphabet. And then we practiced reading, but I was reading a lot faster than James and Kai.” Ivy recounted almost every second of her morning to her father, who nodded as if it was the most important information ever. Rey watched them with a smile before standing and moving towards her husband. Resting her hand on his bicep, she looked up to him with a sheepish smile. 

“Sorry that dinner isn’t ready. We lost track of time at the piano.”

“Don’t apologize. You both were making music!” He turned his head and kissed his wife’s forehead. “Now we have the opportunity to make dinner together.”

Rey smiled, giving him an assured nod before marching her way into the kitchen, leaving her tube to follow behind. Rey returned to preparing dinner as Ben sat Ivy down in one of the barstool chairs and went to the pantry to pull out the dog food. 

“How was your day, Sweetheart,” he said, directing his question to his lovely Rey, who stood beautifully against the glistening kitchen island in the light of the sunset. She was chopping up ingredients, only stopping to turn on the stove. Ben reached Bee’s food bowl and served her second meal, checking her water at the same time. He then replaced the bag and walked back over Rey to begin boiling water. 

“It was good! I got a lot of work done while she was at preschool and sat in during her lesson. She’s doing really well. Miss Olivia had a lot of praises for her skill.” 

“And,” Ivy interrupted, spinning the chair part of the stool in a circle. “I taught Mama how to play!”

“I heard! That’s incredible, Little Vine! You’re doing so well, you can teach people!” Ben’s eyebrows were raised in calm excitement watching Ivy as he kept assisting his wife with dinner. 

“I helped her so now we can all play together!”

Ben’s face softened into a warm smile as he looked down to his little wife, leaning over to press a tender kiss on the side of her head. “I would love nothing more. Maybe we can after dinner tonight.”

Once they finished preparing and eating dinner, Rey and Ben shared a couple of glasses of their favorite wine as all three of them sat on the wooden piano bench. Ben provided more of the steady music as Rey and Ivy included some improvisation in the melody. Bee only laid next to them, wagging his tail and the tribe he loved so much. It was pure bliss in the Solo house this evening, and Rey couldn’t have asked for anything better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello!!  
> I wrote a second chapter today because I’m not sure when the next time I’ll have a little bit to write. Last chapter, I wrote strictly about Ben and Ivy (which I am HONORED at the response), and this time, I focused on Rey and Ivy. I hope you enjoy this one, and if you all have any prompt ideas, please feel free to comment! Feedback from you makes my heart happy!
> 
> P.S: The titles of the chapters (and the stories themselves) are songs written by Sleeping at Last. It’s been my favorite music for almost a decade and is so tender, which is why I have chose them. Take a listen!


	3. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ Like a force to be reckoned with  
> A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss  
> I will love you with every single thing I have  
> Like a tidal wave, I'll make a mess  
> Or calm waters, if that serves you best  
> I will love you without any strings attached  
> It's okay if you can't catch your breath  
> You can take the oxygen straight out of my own chest.”  
> \- Two; Sleeping at Last  
> —  
> Today is Han’s birthday and the family decides to get together and celebrate.

Leia and Han adored their life. 

Now, it wasn’t perfect—no marriage ever was, and when you had two fiery and sarcastic souls sharing a life together, things were bound to be chaos. “A good chaos,” Han would put it simply as Leia looked up to him with pursed lips and an expression that her husband had seen many a time. 

Han had a hard time sweeping this hard-headed ball of fire off of her feet. It was only when Leia allowed him to do so that their affections for each other radiated. Their love was a warm purple color, Rey described it once while she was sketching them casually as the two, she, and Ben had an evening drink. Han gave her a confused eyebrow raise as Leia shook her head with a grin. Rey took no notice, though. 

The two of them had a chemistry Ben had never seen before. They never had to tell each other “I love you” every day to know they were loved. In fact, one of them never said it back, really, when expressed. The other’s response was always “I know.” 

“Leia was the lit flame to Han’s blowtorch,” a family friend of theirs told Rey once. “Leia has all the motivation and intention within her to cause a commotion while Han sets up the stage and does work behind the scenes for her to do so.” 

And that’s how every aspect of their life was. Leia fought for what was right and never backed down from a fight. She loved confrontation; she bit it in the ass and then used it to do something good. Han wanted to do what was right too, but growing up as “hell-bent, errant hoodlum” he was (per Leia’s description of him when he tried to flirt his way into her heart after a reckless incident), he gave it his best shot. 

She loved him though. But she would have never admit that to him then. Han knew, and accepted the teasing as her way of showing affection. 

They shared many “reckless” incidents together while they were dating. During the hippie age (or whatever was left of it as the eighties rolled around), they did the typical rebellious things, snuck out every third night and danced to some Carol King and Stevie Nicks in the basement of Han’s childhood home. They had an affinity for the music they grew up with, and let those lyrics and wonderful artists live through them. Her hair was long and wavy then. Shaws, finge, and bell bottoms ruled her wardrobe. She wore dresses and skirts sometimes, and some things with a lot of patterns (per eighties style), but Han thought she was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen regardless of what she wore.

He misses those days. Time from then on became a little harder, but nonetheless sweeter and full of inexplainable bliss that even a drag off his doobie couldn’t give. 

They got real jobs and started living like adults after they eloped. Leia’s parents were outright furious that their daughter never told them that she ended up marrying the reckless fool, and that her twin brother hid it from them. Leia only shrugged and told her mama it was a new age and she was free to be as liberal as she damn well pleases. 

Leia didn’t sit around as a housewife. In fact, she was heavily involved in the political success of her hometown and eventually was placed in office amongst many, and she means many, white balding men. She was accompanied by a few other women, but being the time period it was, she was paving a way for even more liberation for women and people of mixed races to be involved in more than what they were limited to. 

Which is why her people loved her. And she is still memorialized to this day in her hometown. 

Han, on the other hand, was a simple man. He didn’t a hundred precent believe that the world owed him anything, but worked for what he wanted.  
He was a handyman. He raced cars—in fact, he had a beautiful cream colored racing 1970 Ford Mustang that owned the name “The Millennium Falcon,” (don’t ask Leia about why he chose that name. She protested at him buying the car for racing and grunted at his recklessness) that had a small pair of gold metal dice hanging around the rear view mirror. 

Oh, that was his sweet baby. He loved that car—and still does, as it sits in their garage under a protective cover—and devoted so much time to it. He worked at his father’s family-owned auto-repair shop just three minutes into town (the Solo men were the ones to call if you needed a quick fix in town). He loved his job. It was secure, despite some troubling financial times within his family, and he was able to use his hands to make cars work again, or to even enhance them. He did bikes, motorcycles, anything that had wheels and needed an upgrade. 

He raced every so often down at a track with a posse. The way he described it sounded a lot like The Dukes of Hazard mixed with The Outsiders, Ben thought frequently. Leia would outright refuse to partake in such dangerous activities as Han leaned back against the diner counter, elbows propping him up as he smirked at his girl. She would also act like she hated when he told everyone she was “his girl,” but deep down, it caused butterflies to erupt in her stomach. 

Yet he would always win her over as he leaned down to her eye-level (because she more than a hair shorter than him, even sitting on the spinning stool), look at her with flirtatious yet serious eyes, and said: “If I win tonight, I want you to be the one I share the victory with. I don’t want to show off to everyone without you on my arm. What’s worth showing when you’re not there?”

Leia would flush scarlet and look down to her clasped hands in her lap. Han would tuck her hair behind her ear and tilt her chin back up with a gentle hand. 

“C’mon now, sweetheart. It’s just this one time.”

It wasn’t just that one time. It was many times until surprises came along and life had a way of throwing them for a loop. More so than the lasso ride they were already on. 

—

“Hi, Mom,” Ben said gently as he stepped in the foyer of his parents’ home. Rey wasn’t far behind, but she had a patterned cloth backpack for Ivy strapped to her back with her own purse on her arm, as well as a Tupperware dish of a desert she’d made for tonight’s dinner. Ben was in charge of carrying his sleeping girl in his arms, and yet another little backpack that Ivy carried her favorite toys in on his shoulder. 

Leia walked through the open archway of the kitchen that connected to the foyer. She was wiping her hands on a dish towel as her eyes lit up at the sight of her family. She was about to exclaim at the sight of her angel granddaughter when she realized that Ivy was sound asleep against her dad’s chest. 

“Oh, that sweet baby,” she cooed as she walked up to her son, placing her hand on Ivy’s back and rubbing gentle circles. She leaned up to press a kiss on the little girl’s delicate cheek. “How long has she been out?”

“A little under thirty minutes. She was restless all night long because she was excited to see you both. And not long after we buckled her in, she was gone,” Ben replied, shifting his gaze between his mother and Ivy. 

“That’s okay. Precious girl needs her beauty rest. She can continue to rest a little longer in your bedroom, Ben. Just go lay her down,” Leia instructed as she patted her son’s right arm and scooted past him to help Rey with the dessert. 

“Hi Leia,” Rey said sweetly, sliding off her shoes at the door, holding onto the dish as carefully as she could. Leia had seen her struggle from the corner of her eye and came to her rescue just in time. With a warm smile and outstretched arms, she took the dish from Rey and embraced her daughter-in-law in a hug. 

“Hi, Sweet Rey. It’s so good to have you all here!” She patted Rey’s back comfortingly before pulling away and directing the younger woman down the foyer to the kitchen. Everything was prepared; Leia spent most of the afternoon prepping a number of options for tonight’s meal, as it was a surprise for Han. 

“Did cooking go well today,” Rey asked as she entered the delicious-smelling kitchen, marveling at how amazing Leia was at being a real human being. Her home was decorated with a simple but loving touch, homemade meals were always cooked to their finest, and even the table was set in its causal but mildly party-like. She wondered at how she had so much time do do that. 

Then she remembered. Rey used to be that way too, until a baby came and became her continuous number one task on her to-do list. She knew it happened to every mother, though. 

“Oh, absolutely. Sometimes it’s no easy feat, but thankfully Han likes anything that can be digestible.” She placed the dessert dish down on the counter before moving around the open kitchen to turn off the stove and fix small things. “It didn’t take too long; Han’s been out of the house since eleven, so I haven’t had to deal with any pestering disturbances, which is nice.” She chuckled, Rey echoing her. 

“I’m guessing he’s still a menace in the kitchen?” Rey took a seat at the bar, leaning her elbows against the countertop of the island. 

“Of course! Almost fifty years later and he’s still the same pain in my behind as he was the day I met him,” Leia gave a cheeky smile as she began to finish her set-up. “With those flirty eyes and pick-up lines from when we were dating that he still uses. The other day, I was making a comfort cake for a member of my committee, and Han would not leave me alone. He kept getting his hands into the flour and wiping it all over me before spilling it all over us!” 

Rey laughed in delight as Ben made his way into the kitchen. He pressed a kiss to the side of Rey’s head before going over to hug his little mother. Despite being small, she was a force to reckon with, and one that Ben would silently fear until the day he died. 

“Hi Benny,” Leia crooned at her son as she held him close. Ben was her only baby as he’d been a shocking surprise for the two hippies. Because of both of their lifestyles, Leia and Han couldn’t afford to have another baby. So they devoted their lives to loving the hell out of Ben. 

“How are you? Doing better, I hope? Making men cower in fear at your feet still?” Ben earned a cackle from his mother as she squeezed him one last time before letting him go. 

“When have I ever stopped, son? Your father was shaking at the knees when I offered him his coffee this morning and handed him the paper.”

“Was he really?” Ben raised an eyebrow. 

“More or less. He’s not here to defend himself, so whatever I say is pure truth.”

For the next thirty minutes, the three of them chat and catch up from the last few weeks. Rey had always found it fascinating to talk to Leia, as she had lived a life full of perseverance and boldness. Ben always adored when his family was together. He just wished that his grandparents were here, like they would be when he was young, and so that Ivy could have had the chance to meet them. At the thought, he cleared his throat and switched his position on the stool next to Rey’s. 

“Lolli,” a small voice cooed from the hallway (this was Leia’s preferred grandmother nickname; “I will NOT be called ‘Grandma.’ Do I look like a Grandma?”). All three of the adults perked up, Leia most of all, and turned their heads towards the archway. 

“In here, baby,” Leia responded, stepping around the island so she could be the first thing Ivy saw when she walked in. 

“Where?” Ivy’s voice was full of curiosity as her footsteps padded on the dark, wooden floor. She was looking for her Lolli. Where was she?

“Follow the sound of my voice!” Leia placed her hands in a calling position around her face. She loved playing games with her granddaughter, and she took every possible moment to keep it fun. 

“Say something else!”

Leia chuckled. “I can hear your footsteps!”

The sound of small feet hurrying towards her became louder. 

“You’re getting warmer!”

“Lolli!” Ivy bursted into the kitchen, jumping into a starfish position as her face radiated with glee. Leia clapped her hands together, bending down to Ivy’s level. 

“My sweet baby!” Ivy giggled happily as she rushed into her grandmother’s embrace, hugging her body as close as she could to one of her most favorite people in the world. Leia’s arms held the little girl close. “Oh my goodness, Lolli missed you so much! It feels like forever since I’ve seen you!”

“It has been forever,” her granddaughter replied through squished cheeks. 

“It’s like you grew six feet since you’ve been here. And even a tail too! Is that pink I see in your hair?” Leia loved to tease the little girl. She let go of the girl and began to playfully inspect all over Ivy’s person and running her fingers through Ivy’s dark black hair. Ivy just giggled and shook her head. 

“No I haven’t! I promise I haven’t! It’s the same me!”

“Good, because Lolli couldn’t stand it if you weren’t you!” 

Leia stood back up, picking up the sweet girl and putting her on her hip. She was a shorter woman, but she vowed to hold her babies close and for as long as she could, no matter if they towered over her or not. She and Ivy did a little dance and sing together in the kitchen after Rey asked her daughter to sing the song she learned at school the other day. After a few moments, Leia bends over, dipping Ivy back carefully. Ivy releases a real laugh from her chest, hair pooling around her and cheeks turning a light shade of pink. 

Amidst all the festivity, Han had walked in, his hands on his hips. A large Alaskan Malamute sat at his feet, tail batting against the tile floor, tongue sticking out. With a low rumble of a chuckle, Han announced his presence. 

“Does all the fun happen when I’m not here?” Everyone in the room turned their heads to see the older man, Ivy splitting into yet another ear-splitting grin. 

“Pop!”

Han gave his granddaughter a grin as he closed the distance between everyone and reached his hands out to his littlest girl. 

“Nuh-uh, just because you’re one year older today doesn’t mean you can just take my baby,” Leia teased, turning her body away from Han, shielding him from Ivy. 

“Oh sweetheart, the moment that baby was born, she’s been mine. Plus, I’m a whole head taller than you so I can just do this,” Han teased in return, wrapping his arms around Leia to grab ahold of Ivy, lofting her over Leia’s head and pulling his grandbaby in his arms. Ivy just squealed at all the attention she was receiving from her grandparents. 

“Hey there, Ladybird,” Han said sweetly. Ladybird was the name of another car he had raced in his past, which he loved and was a beautiful shade of black. When she was born, and all the dark hair on her head, Han immediately christened the name to her. And, much to Ben’s surprise, Leia let it stick. “Lolli and Pop were afraid you were going to high tail it to Hollywood and leave us behind in the dust!”

“No,” Ivy said, squishing her cheek against Han’s. “Just the playground.”

Everyone in the kitchen laughed at Ivy’s snarky little comment. Ben greeted his father with a pat on the back of his shoulder, and a finger boop to his baby’s nose. Rey was happily petting the large pooch, Chewy, as the family gathered together in an atmosphere of love. 

—  
Once dinner was served, the five of them sat together at the dining room table. It was decorated with birthday decorations, that only caused Han to groan pitifully, just as Leia predicted. He hated when his birthday was made a big deal, but her husband was celebrating another year of life, another year of fatherhood and grandfather-hood. Over her dead body was she going to let him just sit around and waste the day piddling in the garage. 

Han sat at the head of the table, Ben and Leia on either side, Ivy taking her usual spot next to Lolli, Rey sitting at Ben’s right hand. Leia’s food was fantastic as always, this time it consisting of smaller portions of a number of Han’s favorite meals. They family dug in, exchanging excited conversations about positive things to happen at work, what Ivy was learning in school (“We learned about turkeys, Pop! And we made really neat pictures. My hand had a lot of paint on it and-and I put it on a plate!”), her music lessons, Rey’s artistic advancements, and what was up in Han and Leia’s life. 

After dinner was served, Rey excused herself to the kitchen to bring out her desert, sticking a couple of candles into the soft desert. She had figured out a way to make a brownie cookie cake, something she learned that was Han’s favorite as they worked on her car years ago. Walking out of the kitchen, her daughter exclaimed in excitement as the flame of the candle, then bursting out into the happy birthday song. The rest of them gathered in as Rey placed the cake on the table, in front of Han. His features split into a shy grin, cheeks flushing as he shook his head. Releasing a chuckle, he looked over to his granddaughter who was encouraging him to make a big wish! 

He closed his eyes and honestly couldn’t come up with anything. He had lived a fantastic life so far and had a family that loved him, a dog that stuck by his side, and a car that allowed him to remember all the great times of the past. There might have been one other thing he longed for. But he’d never tell. With a smirk on his face, he opened his eyes and blew out the candles, receiving a large applause from Ivy. 

—

“Will there be more?” Leia asked the question so nonchalantly that it caught Ben and Rey completely off guard. The two flushed furiously as Ben opened his mouth to respond. 

“I believe there should be more,” Leia said before her son got the chance to speak up, carefully running her motherly fingers through Ivy’s beautiful hair. The young girl was oblivious to the tension her Lolli caused for her parents. 

Ben and Rey knew exactly what she was implying. Knowing the hardships that they had to face to bring Ivy into their lives, they weren’t sure there would be “more.” 

But these two were hard-headed. They weren’t going to let some contradicting “odds” write their family’s story. Rey grinned and watched Leia with their sweet daughter. 

They were seated in the family room, Han having finished opening his birthday cards and presents, and now kicking back to relax and watch the football game. Every so often, he’d flip the channel to a car drag race. This was very typical of his father, Ben thought. But no malice dripped in those words. Han had times where he played with Ivy. He’d chase her around the backyard, help her climb a tree, and play catch with a tennis ball (“I promise, Ladybird. This is a real baseball,” he consoled his little granddaughter that swore he was making it too easy on her), and even wiffle ball. Ben was thankful his parents were so involved and interested in her life. Rey had feared the opposite, but the moment these two met that sweet baby, all her fears melted away. 

Leia casually began to work the girl’s hair into a lavish braid her mother taught her to do. She had missed the opportunity to do such braiding as a mother—having a son who refused to leave the house with even one single braid, despite the size, tortured her heart. But alas, many, many, years later, she got her chance. 

It was Ben who announced it first, taking an anxious glimpse towards his wife, who was sitting on Leia and Han’s gorgeous couch with a sketch pad in her lap. “We’ve been trying, Mom.” 

With that, Leia’s dark brown eyes looked up above Ivy’s head, as if she was contemplating what was being said. She then turned her head towards her son, his cheeks flushed, hands knotted together and fingers working themselves like they always did when he was nervous. Her eyes then moved to Rey, who was avoiding eye contact by looking down to her sketch pad, drawing something only her mind’s eye could see, but with a small smile on her face. 

Leia turned back to her sweet granddaughter and continued to braid while Ivy played with the dollhouse in front of her. A smug smile danced into Leia’s features, hands working quickly yet meticulously. 

“Another new hope, then?”

Han, overhearing the conversation, slowly started to smirk as his eyes focused on the game projected on the large screen. His birthday wish may come true after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A HUGE thank you is deserved for those who have read, commented, bookmarked, and gave kudos to this story. Your appreciation gives me so much happiness—and I hope that you all are enjoying these little one shots! 
> 
> I have some ideas for future chapters that may have a little plot, like how Ben and Rey met, got together, falling in love, Leia and Han’s past, etc. I spent a ton of time (that I should have used to sleep) to write mini prompts. Oh, I’m so excited to share these with you! All my love! X


	4. Make You Feel My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue  
> I'd go crawling down the avenue  
> No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do  
> To make you feel my love  
> To make you feel my love.”  
> —Make You Feel My Love; Sleeping at Last (cover)  
> —  
> Ben needs a new suit. He convinces Rey that he can wear it more than the ceremony he’s being recognized at, but she has other ideas.

2015 

Rey loves it when Ben tries on clothes. 

It’s not like she begs him to show off his entire wardrobe every time he decides to get dressed up, but it’s when he has to go shopping for new things. Things he hadn’t worn previously, like the same university tee he favors so much on Sunday mornings. Or, the same patterned tie that he wears every Tuesday for work. Rey has a mental list of everything in his wardrobe, yet Ben still decides to choose the familiar. 

He’s got fancy clothes, she reminds herself. He has a fair number of suits, yet who would want to wear those on a causal Wednesday? Rey worked with her hands and allowed herself to get messy. There was no way she would ever be that spick-and-span. 

Today was a good day to go shopping. Ben needed an update on his suit collection anyway—the suits he’d had for a fair number of years stretch painfully at the swell of his biceps and shoulders now. Uncomfortable was he, and Rey was too for a completely different reason. 

As a compelling author, extraordinary playwright, and expressive theologian of classical literature, Ben has made a name of himself. All of this influence stemmed from his mother’s resilient work in politics, and the fact being that he would prefer to be in his own little world than help his dad fix up an old rust bucket. Leia knew he had a sensitive spot, and practically encouraged him to make masterpieces with his words. She loved reading his work when he would finish his creative process. Never was a moment her eyes didn’t sparkle while his beautiful words danced across her page, filling her mind with incredible images and her heart with tender emotion. 

Now, he was being recognized at a ceremony for outstanding achievement for his most recent play, and Rey demanded he was to get a new suit. And that’s where they were that warm, summer day. 

Downtown had a number of fantastic stores and boutiques that the couple loved to browse on their free days. Currently, they were back in the fitting room of a men’s attire store, Ben having a number of suits to try on, and Rey sitting with her legs crossed in a comfy chair, slowly pushing the baby stroller back and forth in gentle movements. 

Ivy was now five months old and Rey believed she was more than ready to experience the world. The two loved taking their baby for walks and watching as her greenish-brown eyes (at the time) looked at everything and nothing in wonder. Right now, she was asleep for the umpteenth time, but Rey had no problem as she didn’t have to become a milk dispenser just yet. 

She was wearing a cream colored dress that had rose patterns stitched into the top and buttons lining the middle of the material. It was something that was very comfy in the warm summer weather and nursing friendly. All she wore out in public nowadays was versatile for the baby; it was either something with buttons down the front or something like a wrap. She couldn’t complain though. 

Ben, on the other hand, had tried on a couple of suits so far. There was a particular black suit that looked fantastic on him, paired with a black turtle neck. It outlined his entire physique and emphasized the hard work he poured into maintaining his physical health. Rey had to bite her lip to keep herself from drooling over her husband as he checked himself out in the three wall-paneled mirrors. Another one was a maroon blazer paired with black pants and a black button-up. Rey thought the warm color made his lighter brown eyes pop and hair have a little more shine Maybe she was biased, but she was sure he was the most handsome man she’d ever met.

But then he walked out of the larger fitting room once more, and Rey was taken by surprise. He was dressed in a navy blazer with a rusty red, white patterned button-up, paired with matching navy bottoms. The front of his hair that lays by his face was pulled back with a small hair tie so he could keep his longer locks out of his eyes. She had seen this hairstyle before, but with the suit, her mind went wild. 

“I really don’t know about this one,” Ben murmured as he made his way back to the mirrors, hand on his hip while the other came to rub at the bottom of his chin. He took a peek at his little sleeping girl before he turned his focus back on the current fit. 

The tall man turned his body to each side to get a better look. Blues were colors he preferred, but never from shoulder to foot. He always wore a classic black suit, or black dress pants with some sort of other color on top, and even navy pants with other colors, but never something this bold. In all honesty, he felt like a member of one of the Italian families from Brooklyn (which honestly was one of his favorite places to be) because of his dark features and just overall vibe from this suit. 

“What do you think? You haven’t said anything yet, and it’s beginning to confirm my suspicions,” Ben spoke to Rey, turning around to face her. His eyebrow quirked up as his wife had to take a moment to compose herself before responding to him. 

“I-I think you look great, Ben. Really, really great,” Rey trailed off, taking in every inch of his form, shifting a little bit in her seat. 

“I’m going to need you to stop staring at me like that,” Ben said flatly, turning his body back around, a flush burning deep in his cheeks. Rey quirked her lips into a smirk as she rose from her seat and took a step closer to him. He was fidgeting with the button of the blazer, unhooking the button from the hole and letting it lay open. Rey closed the distance to her tall husband and slid her arms underneath his, them coming up to grab the front of his shoulders.

“What was wrong with my staring? I can’t ogle at my handsome husband in this very flattering suit?” Rey questioned him as she leaned her head against his shoulder, peering to him through the mirror with flirtatiously innocent eyes. He looked back at her with that same flush, and wave of shyness in his expression before tearing his gaze away to the cuffs of the blazer. 

“Your mediocrely featured husband gets very nervous when you stare at him without context. Also, he’s very conscious when he tries on nice things.” 

“Ben, you look incredible in this suit. I think I like this, and the button-up more so than the tan one you tried.” She straightened out the material of the jacket on his chest before he turned himself around in her embrace, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

“But do you honestly like it? It’s something completely different and I’m one to constantly stick out like a sore thumb, so please, tell me your honest opinion.”

“Why are my thoughts so detrimental for a suit preference?”

“Because if I’m going to be standing next to and holding the hand of Rey Solo, I want to be half as presentable as her. Plus,” he spoke softer, leaning down to whisper into her ear. “Your hands taking off this suit is what I’m more excited about.”

Rey flushed, grabbing onto his bicep, squeezing a little. “You won’t be in that suit for long if you decide it’s the one you want,” she whispered in return, shivering a little as Ben’s breathy chuckle ticked the back of her neck. 

Ben pulled back from where he was leaning in to give her a teasing smirk. “Careful, Rey. This suit isn’t ours just yet—we can’t be making empty promises like that.” He held her chin with his thumb and index finger. Then, he turned the opposite way to look back into the mirror. Rey bit her bottom lip and went to check on their baby, who was still so peacefully unaware. 

“There are other things I could wear this to, right? More reasons than just this silly ceremony?” Ben’s face was now contorted in a worried expression, fumbling with the claps of the blazer again. Rey made her way back to him, standing by his right side and turning her eyes to the mirror. 

“Of course! You could wear this to work; to a wedding. Finn and Rose should be having a wedding shower soon. Maybe to a New Years Eve party?” Rey tilted her head to the side as she turned in towards her husband, taking in the sight of them both together. Ben stepped a little closer, reaching his right hand pinky finger to lock with hers. She took her other hand and grasped the crease of his arm. 

“Yeah. Or if we decide to go out to dinner at some point,” he added. 

“There’s also receptions, other special occasions, family photos.” Rey trailed off as they both looked at each other in silence, the only sound being from the music playing overhead from the wall speaker. 

“I think this is the suit,” Ben finally said after taking a long look at the both of them together. Rey nodded in agreement. 

“I think it is too. I’ve known that it’s been the suit.”

“What about the others?”

“Get them anyway. This one stays under lock and key.”

“Why? Because you want me to put on a show for you while wearing it?”

“If you don’t mind an audience.”

With that, Ben flushed profusely, turning to go back into the dressing room to get out of the damned suit. Rey merely flashed another flirtatious grin, returning back to her seat and her sweet baby that was definitely the product of her arousal from another suit Ivy’s daddy wore. Oh, how lucky was she.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for such a late update. I started college again and there had been no time to really write. But!! Not to worry—I have prompts whipped up and ready to write. But PLEASE leave any ideas you have for this sweet family!! I would love your input. <3
> 
> The suit mentioned in this chapter is the one Adam wore in the SNL Coffee skit. Please take a look...your eyes won’t be sorry. And if you’ve already seen it...woof. What a man.
> 
> Also, I think I am going to jump around in time every so often so you all get some background and interesting stories on your favorites <3 I’ve had a lot of ideas that are very plot driven, which may last a few chapters depending on the moment. The main storyline (with Ivy being 4) takes place in 2020. This chapter is set in 2015.  
> But you guys, your love and reads have been incredible to me. I hope you enjoy!


	5. Rainbow Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Have you been half-asleep, and have you heard voices?  
> I've heard them calling my name.  
> Is this the sweet sound, to call the young sailors?  
> The voice might be one and the same.  
> I've heard it too many times to ignore it.  
> Its something that I'm s'posed to be...  
> Someday we'll find it the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me.”  
> —Rainbow Connection; Sleeping At Last (cover)  
> —  
> This is the first time Ben and Rey meet, as well as their friend group in the most unlikely of places.

Fall Semester of 2010

Ben couldn’t help but bounce his knee impatiently as he sat at the end of the long lecture table in the right corner of the room. He was next to one of the few windows, watching the rain continuously pour as it usually did during the middle of fall. It pooled in weird spots, he noticed, and chuckled quietly as people mistook the depth of the puddles. 

Ah, the ignorance of the masses. Rain boots can’t protect the inevitable. 

The lecture he was sitting through was one of the worst general education courses the university required them to take in order to graduate: Bio 101. Not only was it very boring, in Ben’s opinion, but also completely irrelevant to his degree. Dr. Fett even told his lecture class that this was a horrible general education course because it did nothing for the sake of Biology, and made them rush through everything. And Ben had to agree. 

He was a liberal arts major with an emphasis in theatre and classical literature, why in the hell would he need to be taking a class that told him how similar the genetic composition of humans and mushrooms are? 

There’s a reason why his major isn’t in science. This absolutely sucked ass, and he was grateful that there were only a few more weeks left. 

Fortunately, he was in the class with someone he knew: Kaydel. She was a long-time friend of his; somehow the both of them managed to stick through high school, some time between, and the first couple of years of college together. She sat next to him in the large lecture hall, doodling something interesting on her page before she whispered towards Ben. 

“If you don’t stop bouncing that fucking knee of yours, the next lab we do will be dissecting my pen from your kneecap.”

Ben cut his eyes over to her, flinching at the threat as his knee stopped bouncing immediately. He and Kaydel had always been like this. They acted like a brother and sister combo, and that’s how it had always been. He cleared his throat quietly before sitting up straighter in his chair, leaning his elbows against the gray tabletop. 

“I guarantee that the mere act of you stabbing me would be way more interesting than anything this fool has been saying,” he responded back to her, keeping his eyes focused on what the professor was writing on the board. 

“It would make for one hell of a lab, you think?” She didn’t even have to look at him as they both shared a smug grin. She continued to write and doodle on her notebook page, and Ben watched her so his brain wouldn’t melt at the irrelevant topic at hand. He needed as much of a brain as possible because the corresponding lab was right after, and he had never been successful at any of the experiments. He and Kaydel were hopeless, but somehow, they managed. 

—

“So,” the graduate assistant said casually from his stool at the front of the laboratory, “the experiment today is going to require everyone to break into groups. Since there’s, like, a shit ton of you all in here, the groups are going to be a little bigger than what I’d like for them to be.” 

Ben blinked nonchalantly at the grad TA. At least this person was real with them. He talked to the lab class like a normal human being and refused to be called “Mister,” or “Professor.” He even insisted on being called “His Excellency,” by the lab students, but Ben refused. Ben called him Dan, the man’s first name, and nothing more. 

“You’re going to need a fair number of people in your group because there is a lot of steps to go through, and they each require separate trials. So, this lab report will be extended for the next couple of weeks. Today’s objective is to get started and try to get your data finished.”

Kaydel leaned over to Ben and whispered to him. “I know a couple of people in here who are willing to work with us.”

“How did you even know we were going to have to be social and expand our circle of trust?”

“Witchcraft. His name is Finn, and he’s got a friend in here too—Poe.”

Ben nodded his head, collecting his notebook in his hands. With a final word, Dan released them to their experiments and attempts to make human contact with those outside their table partners. Kaydel and Ben made their way to where Finn, a taller male, though not taller than Ben was casually leaning against the black lab desk with a goofy grin on his face as a shorter male, athletically built, was telling him something that was obviously not that funny. 

“Hi Finn,” Kaydel greeted happily with a grin. Finn looked over to her with bright, dark brown eyes, the smile still lingering on his face. He held his hand up and they both exchanged a high five as he greeted her in return. 

“Hey Kay,” he responded as Poe took the open space next to him on the lab desk, sliding onto the dark countertop so he could be relatively the same height as the rest of the guys. “Guessing you’re here to join the Resistance?”

“What the hell is the Resistance?” Kaydel’s eyebrow quirked up as she crossed her arms over her chest. Ben slid his hands down into his jean pockets and watched the exchange between the friends. 

“La résistance,” Poe said with the cock of his head and a fake French accent. “It’s what we call ourselves. As table mates, we had to have a team name. We refuse to acknowledge Dan as “His Excellency, so we called ourselves the Resistance.”

“That sounds like bullshit,” Kaydel said flatly. 

“Well, no one asked what it sounds like, because it looks like two guys who know how to do experiments.” Poe countered Kaydel’s sarcastic remark with a squint of his eyes, mimicking her position by crossing his own arms over his chest.

“Whatever—it doesn’t matter what we’re called.” Poe gaped in horror and betrayal at Finn’s comment. “Do you guys want to join us for this? It’s looking like it’s gonna take a lot of hands to get this one completed.” Finn grabbed the lab manual textbook from the desk and began to read through the instructions. 

“Yes, we would,” the young woman nodded with relief, switching her position to put her hand on her hip and the other to gesture to Ben. “Guys, this is Ben. He’s a friend of mine from back home.” 

“Ben, huh?” Poe hopped off the tabletop and took a couple steps towards Ben. He was definitely much shorter, but enough to be considered tall to Kaydel. Poe’s eyes were bearing into Ben’s, his hands placed on his hips and taking a mental scan of the poor guy. 

“Yeah, Ben Solo.” 

“What do you do, Ben?”

“Poe, you’re not the father of the girl he loves, back the hell up.” Finn snapped, pulling the slightly shorter guy back a few inches before holding out an outstretched hand. “I’m Finn,” he greeted. 

Ben and him exchanged casual greetings and a mutual handshake before Finn gave a scolding look to Poe. “And this asshole is Poe. He thinks he’s all big and bad and has a kink for establishing dominance. I think it’s to overcompensate for his height.”

“Dude, what the hell?” Poe gave him an exasperated look before bopping the back of the other guy’s head. Ben flushed at Finn’s comment and Kaydel rolled her eyes. Finn and Poe began another little argument and began to play fight with each other as Kaydel gestured over to the right. 

“And those two,” she gestured to the two young ladies a little bit further away. They both looked rather confused as they flipped through the pages of the manual frantically, worried looks on their faces. “That’s Rose and Rey. They’re engineering majors who know a little something about science.”

Ben looked over to the females across the room and found himself in awe. They were both just as lovely as Kaydel was to him. He always found a way to see the true beauty in a woman, thanks to his mother’s relentless persuasions that females are more than a pretty face and a body. They have brains and thoughts and opinions. They have passions and desires. They are just as human and important as men are. 

But there was something about the girl with the warm, chocolate hair that was pulled up into a messy bun. Baby hair fell loosely on the nape of her neck, just above the collar of her cotton sweatshirt. She looked troubled as her hand came up to rest on her forehead. The other young woman, Ben noticed, tried her best to comfort her, but looked equally as perplexed. 

“I’ll go save them from impending doom and ask them to join. It’ll give you a second to get acquainted to the lagging end of the group,” Kaydel offered, patting Ben’s shoulder as she walked towards the other two women with a smile. 

Instead of trying to awkwardly interact with the two fools wrestling each other, Ben watched as Kaydel interacted with Rose and Rey. He had no idea which one was which, but his stomach gave a twinge of anxiousness as the interaction between the ladies escalated. The two of them looked relieved, and Ben saw even more beauty radiate from the one girl’s face as hope danced across her features. 

Ben had to look away quickly as a his ears burned beneath his dark hair. Rey and Rose had looked over to the three men after Kaydel gestured towards them, seeing a tall, dark, and mysterious moody guy with two buffoons as lab partners. A quirky grin crossed the one girl’s face, and she looked up to the one standing above her. With a nod of agreement, the three women took their leave from that side of the room and made their way over. 

Finn and Poe had finally settled down and were talking about something completely out of Ben’s scope of knowledge. The girls arrived and Kaydel huffed our a heavy breath with a smile. 

“Okay, so this is our group. And as the one to officially initiate this nonsense, I think it’s important that we all get introduced.”

After no one spoke up, Kaydel rolled her eyes. “This isn’t high school where we just kind of go without getting to know each other. We’re gonna be spending a lot of time together on this project, so we might as well start this rodeo now.” 

“I’m Finn,” the guy said once she finished, raising his hand with a small wave. “Physics-Astronomy Major. Senior. I graduate next December, and I’m only in this gen ed because I needed some more credits and Poe needed the actual credit.”

“Poe,” the other guy replied, saluting with two fingers. “Aerospace Engineering Major. Part-time pilot. Full-time chick magnet—“ Finn gave him a painful jab with his elbow. “Forget the last thing I said. Or don’t.”

Kaydel rolled her eyes even harder. “You’re the worst. Ben, go,” she demanded. 

Ben’s eyes widened and heart rate accelerated. “Um, I’m Ben. Liberal Arts Major with an emphasis on theatre and classical literature. I’ve known Kaydel since high school, and,” he paused, shrugging his shoulders. “Yeah, that’s about it.”

“That’s rather boring,” Poe retorted. 

“Do you have any hobbies or any interesting facts?” Ben raised his eyebrow in question. 

Ben shrugged his shoulders again, but more sheepishly this time. “My mom is a political activist for civil rights? Um,” he paused thinking about what he dedicated time to in his life. “I love to act and write plays. I’ve actually got a play being premiered next Spring by the theatre department.”

“Woah,” Finn huffed. The three ladies standing in their small circle looked at Ben in amazement, and the dark-haired man’s stomach filled with butterflies as he watched the chocolate-haired girl look at him in wonder. 

“Ben,” Kaydel gasped. “You never told me this! When did your play get past the theatre department heads and the Dean?” 

“A couple of weeks ago. I had to make a few minor revisions, but they were overall taken by the plot and character twists. They agreed to allow me to have it premiered as long as I made the changes to fit more of the university demographics. So I made two versions.”

“That’s really cool, Ben! Maybe you’ll be famous one day,” the other girl that came along with Kaydel exclaimed. “That would be incredible.”

“Yeah, and when he goes up to get his award for best playwright, we’ll be right there at his table, cheering him on as the dude who helped us all pass this fucking class,” Poe piped in, grinning a little. Ben’s cheeks flushed red as his hands sunk deeper in his pockets. 

“I mean, it’s an honor, but it’s not like figuring out how rockets can survive in atmospheric environments unlike Earth’s,” Ben said. 

“Eh, more or less.” Poe shrugged. 

“Well, I guess I’ll go next,” the other girl responded once again. “I’m Rose. I study engineering and technology. I like to build things and reconstruct computers and stuff that needs upgrades.” She giggled shyly, clasping her hands in front of her. “I’d love to teach it one day. Maybe even math to children? I’m not really sure yet, so I’m getting a general degree in mechanics and engineering.”

Finn’s eyes sparked at her sweetness. “What makes you want to teach?”

Rose’s eyes lit up in excitement. “Geometry was my favorite subject in school. And math was just something I enjoyed doing. I want kids to be excited to learn how to use the mathematical side of things to create structures of their own.” 

“That’s awesome, Rose. We’re excited for you,” Poe said with a smile. Rose’s cheeks flushed pink as she gave them a smile. 

“I’m Rey,” the other female spoke gently. Ben was surprised by her British accent, not at all expecting it from her. Her hazel eyes peered into Ben’s light brown ones for a moment longer than she should have, and then danced across the faces of her new group. “I study engineering as well, but more so emphasized in interior design. I’ve also obtained a minor in fine arts.” She fiddled with the sleeve of her sweatshirt shyly as she continued. “You might have seen some of the modern metal works in the lobby of the Holstein Building. I made some of them for our exhibit.”

“Yes, I’ve seen those!” Finn exclaimed his excitement to the girl. “The one you made to look like a bike looks awesome, dude.” 

“There’s also one in the lobby of Jenkins Theatre,” Ben added with a gentle look to Rey. “The one that looks like two people dancing.”

“Yes, that was one of my favorites to make,” Rey resounded with a soft smile to Ben. Then she looked over to Finn and added, “that one was inspired by a bicycle I had back home as a child. As to why I titled it ‘Remnants of the Past.’” 

“I think it’s dope, Rey. Wow, we’ve got a group of talented friends,” said Finn. 

“I know,” Kaydel said smugly. “And I know we’re going to be friends for a long, long time. I told you it was witchcraft, Ben.”

Ben rolled his eyes dramatically as Kaydel went to introduce herself once more to the whole group, even though she was the one who already knew them all. Her communications degree would never fail her, and she would always pride herself in being the true founder of La Résistance. 

—  
Group Chat created by Kaydel

Kaydel: ok bitches, we have two weeks to get everything written and finished. when should we meet?

Poe: how about we chill out for a second because we just got out of lab 

Kaydel: ain’t no rest for the wicked, bub. 

Rose: How about we meet this weekend in the conference room of the library to get this sorted? 

Finn: sounds great to me. As long as we get it done by 11:59 PM November 1. 

Poe: dude, I seriously see you sweating through this screen. we’ll get it done 

Finn: not everyone can pull this shit off in one night. And unlike you, I like to turn in *quality* work. 

Poe: are u i m p l y i n g that I perform merely satisfactory work? 

Finn: no, but I’ve heard it confirmed from all the girls you’ve tried to hook up with. 

Kaydel: woah

Poe: ... fuk u 

Rey: This weekend sounds perfect. Please let me know what time we want to be there by. 

Rose: 12:30? We can order a pizza and hang out for a few before we get started?

Finn: I’m down 

Poe: you had me at ‘za, my dude

Ben: Sounds wonderful. 

Kaydel: gr8. Get ready to square up with these lab reports, bc they about to get recked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!  
> I had so much inspiration to write again today. I feel horrible that I haven’t been posting, so I popped out two chapters. This is just the start of college!Reylo and the gang. I also like to refer to them of like the Scooby Doo Gang.  
> I have a lot of adventures for these incredibly interesting characters, and I think you’ll like it too. This is where the plot kind of starts to connect with other chapters, so it won’t necessarily be one-shots anymore. But don’t worry, Baby Girl Ivy will be brought back. As will Lolli and Pop (ISN’T THAT THE CUTEST GRANDPARENT NAME SET???).
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Thank you for all the love and the reads! Comment any prompt ideas! <3


	6. Jupiter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I wrote it down in the winter of 1610.  
> Just a secret under lock and key until then.  
> While collecting the stars, I connected the dots.  
> I don't know who I am, but now I know who I'm not.  
> I'm just a curious speck that got caught up in orbit.  
> Like a magnet it beckoned my metals toward it.  
> Make my messes matter.  
> Make this chaos count.  
> Let every little fracture in me  
> Shatter out loud.“  
> —Jupiter; Sleeping at Last  
> —  
> Rey and Ben are in one of their favorite spots in the campus library. Ben expressed insecurity about his writing while they’re there, but Rey sees his true beauty as she sketches his words to life.

Late April 2012

The library still had that familiar silence that Rey and Ben knew so well. They had spent many a night in this library studying for exams until it closed. And it wasn’t necessarily them studying together. It was in each other’s presence that they felt their very best and could concentrate more. Rose thought she was insane to try and study around the one that gets her so aroused, but Rey only shushed her with scarlet flashing in her cheeks. 

Currently they sat on the main floor of the campus library, a spot they often go to when all the work is done and they would just like to relax for a few minutes. People were all about them, minding to their own studies and reports, not interested in the little world the couple had made for themselves. 

It had been three weeks since they confirmed their relationship. Those nights were magical, and Rey wouldn’t trade them for the world. She had never experienced such a fantasy before, due to past circumstances that were beyond her control. But she knew she was in the right place as Ben’s presence just completed what she was missing. 

Rey was curled up in a leather armchair, knees brought up to her as a sketch book laid upon her thighs. Every so often, she’d be able to catch a quick glance at Ben, who was elbow deep into an article on the refinement of modern playwriting. He was working a little more than he had to, but she didn’t mind. She enjoyed watching him pour himself into what he loves, even if it is reading mundane articles and writing reports on his thoughts. 

His hair was styled neatly, away from his face but still long enough to settle at the nape of his neck. He wore a navy plaid button up with a denim jacket, emphasizing the breadth of his shoulders. Rey loved those shoulders—they always helped ensure a space of safety when she hugged him, and radiated warmth when they cuddled. 

The concentrated expression on his face alone made Rey giggle softly from her spot, her pen moving fast against the sketch book. Occasionally, Ben would also break his concentration and look at the beautiful girl he was head-over-heels for. She was so passionate about so many things in life, and her art was something he adored watching her pour herself into. Her work was his muse. She was his muse, really. Many of his most recent plays had an underlying basis of the love he had for her. Written in many complicated metaphors and through character arcing. This time, her giggle caught his attention and his eyes jumped from the screen of his laptop to her grinning face. 

“What’s caused the smile,” he asked softly, leaning his cheek against his fist as he propped himself his elbow up on the wooden table. 

“You, and how deeply consumed you are with that article,” Rey relies simply, still drawing quick strokes against the thick page, every so often slowing down and making smaller movements, indicating she was doing fine details to her drawing. 

Ben grinned sheepishly. “This article literally describes the way I write my plays, Sweetheart. And this author doesn’t even know me, so it’s proven that these genres and writing techniques of drama are valid and effective. It’s just really nice to see that I’m not crazy. It’s like atonal music for the stage.”

Rey nodded, not taking her eyes off the sketch. “I’m glad you find it exciting. Your work will always be my favorite, and I should never find you crazy for being creative. People confuse the difference way to easily.” Her hazel eyes met his for a instant before looking back down to her drawing. 

He couldn’t help but stare at her. The amount of gladness that radiates from her felt like shining rays from the warm Sun, making Ben’s life flourish and blossom better than ever before. 

“Lingue di fuoco e gloria has been one of my best works so far, but there are many people who think my writing style is a little too out there. I just,” he paused, looking down at the keyboard of his laptop, “Wish people could understand my voice sometimes. Maybe with this premiere next week, they’ll finally hear me.”

Rey peered her hazel eyes up to where the sweet boy was sheepishly dragging his index finger over the mouse pad. Her heart melted hearing his words—Ben just wants to be understood. And she knew this was one of the few ways he knew how to express himself. 

For the last several months, even before they ended up together, he had been worried about this play. He had the honor of having it performed by esteemed members of the Theatre Department, and he knew they would do a fantastic job portraying everything he implied with his words. It just was something that was always on his mind—he wanted people to understand him. He wanted to reach the hearts of people. He wanted to do what was right for the world and what they needed to hear. 

Ben spent countless of hours in the play rehearsal, watching and listening as the actors embraced each character, scene, and plot line with an open heart and mind. This is what he loved most, as the theatre professor, and director, allowed him to step up and share his opinions. 

Rey’s gaze upon him softened. “Your work is incredible, Ben. I’ve read a number of your poems and the annotations you make in books you enjoy. I hear you, my love.” 

He looked back at her, giving her a shy grin before he closed his laptop. Rey put the cap back on her pen and closed her sketch book. They both packed away their things and made their way to the exit of the library, Rey asking him particular questions about some of the things he said in his poems, and wondered if some were inspired by her. He merely released a nervous chuckle, running a hand through his hair and looking away. Rey giggled, intertwining her arm his, grasping onto his bicep as she leaned into his strong side as they walked out of the familiar place. 

—

Later that night, Ben was straightening up the pillows and throw blankets of Rey’s apartment living room. They had went back to her place to unwind, sharing dinner and spending time together they had missed during the week. Once he finished, he turned to scope the area again, and spotted Rey’s sketchbook. It was open, turned to a page with several little drawings scattered among the space. He walked around the coffee table and leaned down to look at her work on display (though not intentionally, he assumed). He took a quick breath as he saw what she had drawn at the top right corner. 

It was him. It was a small, life-like sketch of his concentrated face in the library today. She had used the negative space around it to write a quote from one of his personal poems, one that she knew was meant for her. One that described him as well, as if they were united as one by just a simple phrase:

“But clarity caresses the cheeks of the flowers the Sun can reach and washes bliss unto them.” 

His eyes wondered all over the page. There were several of his quotes written in a beautiful calligraphy, one quite similar to his own that Rey tended to compliment often. There were images of the things his mind’s eye had seen as he put his pen to paper. 

“The lilies sway slightly in the welcomed breeze but never falter when the intensity oversteps it’s place.”

“Mindfulness is the awakened reality of being in the center of creation; Creator, take me back to bliss.” 

“Simple things left unsaid leave the heart trampled and left for de-privation of the kindled flame.”

The light brown eyes scanning the page glistened with a sheen that wasn’t there before. She brought his words to life, something he’d never thought would happen. He had ended up picking up the sketchbook, grasping onto it with dear life as he was lost in the magic dancing on the page. Ben’s face would break into a soft grin every time he encountered another vision she had of his words. His heart was overwhelmed with love for her. 

Oh, how little she knew of how much he loved her, and had loved her for so long. 

Rey suddenly broke his train of focus as she wrapped her arms around him from behind, leaning her head against his muscular back. Her hands clasped together, laying against his waist as she pulled him into her smaller form. Ben jumped slightly, but relaxed into her touch, sniffling slightly and wiping his eyes carefully. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. It was on the table and I was going to get it for you—“

“I’m glad you saw it.”

There was silence after she interrupted him. He looked straight ahead with a soft, confusing gaze, still clasping the sketchbook between his large hands. 

“I did it on purpose so you could see how much you inspire me. How much your voice speaks to me; and how proud of you I am.”

Ben swallowed a lump in his throat. Rey, sensing his overwhelmed emotions, only held him tighter. 

“I hope this is okay? I found some of your journals and kind of,” she paused sheepishly. “Snooped.” 

He chuckled in response, taking one of his hands and placing it over her clasped ones, patting her to signify that he wanted to face her. There they stood together, the only space between them being their shared art on the page. 

“No, no; Rey, this is absolutely breathtaking. It’s honestly almost exactly what I envisioned when I wrote these words. I just,” he released a breath. “Think you’re absolutely incredible.”

Rey peered up at him, who was shyly avoiding eye contact, not wanting her to see his watery eyes. With a small smile, she leaned up onto her tiptoes to kiss his nose carefully. 

“Well, I’m glad someone thinks so. I don’t just let this creativity go to waste,” she said with a smirk. 

Ben huffed out a laugh before closing the space between them, pressing a kiss to her hairline, free hand coming up to brush her hair back behind her ear. 

“C’mon, my Love. It’s time for bed and I need you to read to me.” Rey met one of her hands to his by her ear, taking it and beginning to step backwards towards her bedroom. 

“Why do you need me to read to you?”

“Somehow you always know how to animate Professor Snape perfectly. And I need to get through this book. I must know the prophecy, Chosen One.” 

With another laugh, Ben let Rey pull him into her bedroom, and they both turned out the lights in the main space. Once they were changed and settled, Rey found her spot with her head against Ben’s left shoulder, her body pressing into his side. His arm was wrapped around her, holding the fifth Harry Potter book and beginning to animate their sacred space, creating another form of beauty in which he and Rey could dwell in forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> This weekend is a wonderful three-day weekend!! That means more time to write and carry on with our lovely characters!! 
> 
> The fluff between these two is exactly what we all need, but don’t worry: Angst is coming. It can’t be fairytales forever, because life has a way of overstepping sometimes. But DON’T PANIC!! I’m not as heartless as TROS. -_-
> 
> Anyway... hope you all enjoy! Ben’s “words” are actually things I came up with while I was writing. I fell in love with writing “free verse” poetry in high school and was glad to have the opportunity to include it in one of these incredible characters. 
> 
> All my love! X


	7. Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There's magic in our bones,  
> A north star in our soul  
> That remembers our way home.  
> God, it's easy to forget  
> There's magic in all of this.”  
> \- Body; Sleeping at Last  
> —  
> Ben and Rey spend some lovely family time with Leia and Han in a pumpkin patch. But afterwards, the realize they need some time of their own to remind themselves of just how much they love each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the rating of the story officially with this chapter because it gets a little spicy. Not too spicy, but you’ll see ;-)

October 2015

“Do you see all the pumpkins, Pumpkin?”

Ivy gurgled in confirmation was her arms flapped around from her spot against Rey’s chest. Rey was wearing a baby carrier that let her sweet girl face the world around her. Her daughter’s dark, curly hair poofed at the top, tickling Rey’s chin every so often when the baby decided to try and bounce around. 

Rey’s hand was rested on Ivy’s belly, as if she was protecting her sweet baby while the other came up to hold the girl’s tiny fist. She spoke in a happy voice to the baby, calling her by her term of endearment fit for the fall season. The smile on her baby’s face was all the confirmation that Rey needed.

“There are so many,” she spoke softly to Ivy, walking them around the grove of pumpkins, all different shapes, sizes, and colors. Rey sported a few white ones, orange speckled ones, and even a green one here and there. Ivy’s eyes were full of wonder (as she had no idea what anything was, but it was all so pretty!) as she cooed and pointed to as many objects as she could. 

Rey turned them around to check to see how far her tribe was from her, spotting Ben’s broad shoulders in his plaid flannel a little ways away. He was bent down near a pumpkin that he and Leia were inspecting. Han was somewhere farther off, the faithful companion dog trotting by his side on a leash. Rey gave a warm smile at the thought of her loving family together for festive fall day, something she never experienced as a child. 

Moving her other hand back down to meet the one resting against Ivy, she clasped her hands together around her daughter and slowly made her way towards her husband. 

Leia was standing next to him, not too much taller standing as he was crouched down. She was dressed in some stylish denim overalls with a tan cow-necked sweater, her hair braided perfectly like a crown around her head. From what Rey could hear, she was questioning her son about the quality of the pumpkin they were hovering around. She giggled as she approached, brown ankle boots crunching the leaves beneath her feet.

“Mom, I promise you this one hasn’t rotted yet. It doesn’t have any holes, awkward spots, or weird lumps. It’s not squishy. This is perfect for you,” he consoled his interrogative mother, her arms sitting crossed over her chest. 

“I don’t want it too big. The last thing your father and I need at our house is a pumpkin for the dog to destroy. I hope it’s not rotten, because if we’re not careful, there’ll be a pumpkin patch growing in the front yard from the carcass of that monster,” she replied, indicating the bigger pumpkin Ben was crouching next to. 

Ivy took that moment to squeal happily against her mom’s chest as she recognized her Lolli. Leia had made every effort to make that baby remember her face and everything about her. This was Leia’s first and only grandbaby, and she spoiled her rotten, like that pumpkin sitting at her feet. 

Leia turned her head towards the mother and daughter, smile broadening as her loving gaze lingered on them. “Ladybird! I hear you calling for Lolli! You’re so far away!”

Rey closed the distance between her and her family, Leia’s hands reaching out to take the baby from the carrier. She helped Rey slip Ivy out of the carrier and into her loving grandmother’s arms. Ivy gurgled and cooed once she was in her Lolli’s hold, clutching onto the strap of Leia’s overalls for support. The grandmother and baby soon disassociated themselves from the world and started to wonder aimlessly around the pumpkin patch. Rey watched with happy eyes as Leia pressed sweet kisses all over the baby’s cheeks and forehead. It wasn’t until Ben touched her hand that she realized she had been staring. 

“I think I found a great pumpkin for Ivy,” Ben said softly, nodding his head to the left. “Let me show you.”

He took her hand in his and she followed him willingly, both of them stepping around and over pumpkins. Rey and Ben stopped when Rey’s foot got stuck in a random gourd, then breaking out into laughter as they tried their best to get Rey unstuck as safely as possible. After a few short moments, the two of them were walking side by side, Ben’s arm draped over her shoulder as hers was around his waist. 

They found the pumpkin he had mentioned, and it was absolutely perfect. It was no bigger than the size of a dessert plate, a perfect little pumpkin that fit right in the palm of Ben’s hand. Rey could already imagine Ivy’s handprints against the cool outer layer of the vegetable, and all the artsy work she was going to do around it. She would place it on the little end table next to the tall windows of their living room, perfectly on display for all her friends and family to coo over. 

The two of them picked the pumpkin, as well as another one for them to paint together, and headed back towards where Leia and Han were entertaining their baby with the dog and more pumpkins. Ivy was such a happy baby surrounded by so much love. Rey was thankful that Leia and Han had decided to play such an important part in her daughter’s life. 

She would never let Ivy feel what it was like to not have real family. That’s how Rey grew up: almost utterly alone, patiently hoping her parents would come back for her. She doesn’t remember them, or even what they look like. 

But never would Ivy be left to experience the pain of loneliness and abandonment. 

Fall was the season to be thankful, Rey told herself often during this time of the year, and she was abundantly grateful for the family she made through Ben. Leia and Han treated her like their own, and especially loved her ever the more for loving their son, and bringing this precious baby into the world. 

The older couple had picked out their pumpkin, watching as Ivy interacted with Chewy. The big dog didn’t scare that tiny baby at all, in fact, he adored the little girl. He always hovered close to Han or Leia whenever they were with Ivy. Rey’s heart would melt at the sight, causing some unintentional tears to steak down her face while Ben merely kissed them away. She blamed it on her mama hormones, but Ben knew she was just a softy. 

The family reunited with their pumpkins and happy hearts as they made their way back to the large red barn across the patch. Inside was a farmers market where they sold more than the average pumpkin, as well as spices and homemade goods that ranged from decor to pastries. They purchased their pumpkins and said their farewells, Leia planting extra kisses onto Ivy’s tired face. Han ruffled her dark fluff of hair a little longer than he usually did before they all went their separate ways home. 

—

When the little family returned to their home, their baby was sound asleep in her carrier. Ben went to the backseat to pluck his sleeping baby carefully, leaning her against his shoulder. Rey had grabbed the baby bag from the backseat, as well as both of the pumpkins as they exited the garage and made their way upstairs to the living area. 

Ben went back to Ivy’s nursery to lay her down for her nap as Rey placed the pumpkins on the kitchen island. She then slid the bag off her shoulder and slid into one of the barstool chairs and scrolled through her phone. Eventually, her husband made his way back and leaned against the opposite side of the counter. 

“She’s out, and will be for a little bit. Would you like to do a house date tonight?”

Rey looked up to him with a flattered expression. Ben had a way of knowing when they both needed time to themselves, or some kind of dedication to the two of them. What was even sweeter was that he knew just how to ask it of her. 

“What were you thinking,” she asked her husband, setting her phone face down on the marble countertop. 

“I was thinking,” he started, reaching over to their recipe book they started many years ago. “We can remake the ‘creamy herb mozzarella stuffed chicken’ dish from Poe’s recommendation list. Share a couple glasses of the white wine we bought the other day. Sit on the floor by the fireplace and paint the pumpkins together. Maybe afterwards we can watch something.” Ben looked up to her to gage her reaction to his idea. 

“That sounds wonderful. We’ve got about three hours until we usually do dinner, and I want her to sleep for a little bit before we feed her and get her ready for bedtime. That way we can have most of the night to ourselves.”

“Good plan. I’ll go run to the grocery store now to pick up what we don’t have. Could you help me make a list?”

“Yes,” Rey agreed and reached underneath the countertop to the drawer, pulling out a stray notepad and a pen. Ben dug through the pantry and cabinets, listing off things they didn’t have for Rey to put down. After a few minutes, he stole a quick kiss from his wife while taking the list from her dainty hands. He grabbed the keys and made his way down the steps to the garage. 

—

Ivy woke up about thirty minutes after Ben left, and Rey did her best to try to tire the little baby out. She felt like a bad mother for trying to do so, but she and Ben needed this night. They were fine, the air between them calm, but it had been a little bit before they had taken care of them as a couple. 

She realized that she could have let Leia take the baby for the night, but she would hate having her sweet mother-in-law drive thirty minutes out just to pick Ivy up. 

About an hour after Ivy had woken up, Rey decided to act on the idea of Ivy spending the night with her grandparents, and Leia was more than thrilled to take her. Once Ben returned from the store, Rey filled him in as she sat Ivy’s bag down by the front door. She helped him unload the groceries and start prepping their dinner. Ben would go back and forth from preparing the meal and playing with his little baby who sat up playing with her toys in the living room. 

Ben adored his girl. He also adored his wife. One day, Ivy would understand why they did this, feeling rather guilty—the new parent guilt of not wanting to be with their baby twenty-four/seven. But when Leia arrived right when she said she would, Ben scooped Ivy up into his strong arms, peppering her with goodbye and goodnight kisses. Rey did the same, leaning up on her tiptoes and saying goodbye before Ben handed her to Leia. 

After about five minutes, the two were alone for the first time in a while. Oh, how Rey missed those days back in her apartment near the university, but wouldn’t trade the world for the life she had now. She and Ben had created a whole world for themselves in that little apartment, a time where they were just dating and enjoying the fresh days post-university graduation. 

Rey knew Ben missed it too, especially the vast amounts of time they both had. But he loved being a father. They both loved being parents. Thankfully, Leia was understanding of this life, as her mother, Padmé, had done the same for she and Han. 

They didn’t want the romance between them to die. Not that they thought it ever would, but they had friends who constantly drift apart because life happens to play out and inhibits their desires. 

So, Ben and Rey finished making dinner and served themselves at the small breakfast table in the kitchen. The sun was setting in a beautiful yellow, orange, and purple hue that allowed the last few rays of sunshine to pour into the kitchen. It was perfect ambiance as they had turned on some low-fi music and sat in just the light of the overhead hanging lamp and the shining sun. 

They laughed and caught up on themselves for nearly an hour as they sipped their favorite wine and homemade meal. This is how they enjoyed their lives, especially their dates together. Yes, it was important to them to still go out and dress up, but home dates meant less expectations. It meant more comfortability and freedom to focus on themselves, and not the watching eyes of others. 

They dwelled in times like this. 

Once they finished dinner, Ben began washing the dishes as Rey dried and put them away. They took their wine glasses, and hell, the whole bottle, back to Rey’s studio with the pumpkins. Their painting station was at the counter where Rey did most of her work. They pulled up the rolling chairs, went around and gathered the paints they wanted, brushes, and other tools they needed. 

Shenanigans ensured from the young couple as they both began covering each other in excessive amounts of paint. It first started off as a fingerprint of purple paint on the nose, to full out brush strokes and handprints all over each other’s clothes (and sneakily on parts of each other’s bodies. Ben left a large handprint on Rey’s left asscheek. She flushed horribly as Ben smirked in victory, sky blue paint brushed across his cheeks and nose like war paint).

They had chased each other around the studio, some bare footprints left on the concrete. As the music played in the background, the two of them left even more prints as they danced together. Eventually, after many wars of paint splattering and tagging of their bodies, they finished painting the pumpkins. 

The painted vegetables were left in the studio to dry overnight as the two of them took whatever was left in the bottle and went back to their bedroom. Already slightly buzzed from the first number of glasses, they felt like horny teenagers again as they kissed each other lazily before the heat of the moment intensified.

Laying on their bed together, Ben and Rey intertwines their bodies, Ben’s hovering over her as he held her jaw in his paint stained hand. They kissed fervently, many times feeling a lip being bit, tongues pushing against each other, mouths claimed by the other. Rey’s fingers were wound in Ben’s longer, dark hair, pulling ever so slightly with each twist. 

Ben groaned against her lips, his hand moving down to caress every beautiful spot of her body. He was propped up on his other arm, but still knew how show her how much he loved her body with one hand. 

She was a lot softer in some areas now since having the baby. It was something Rey had been, and still is, insecure about since she was very active in college and devoted some of her life to her physicality. Since Ivy’s birth, she was able to lose the weight very quickly, but some of it still lingered in places she didn’t necessarily care for. 

But Ben loved it. It thrilled him all the more to be able to grab ahold of her softer, fuller hips, and even cup her larger breasts in his hands. Now since they’re more tender from breastfeeding and the pregnancy, every little touch made Rey’s body physically shudder in pleasure. 

Oh man, did that turn him on. 

Her thighs were a wonderland to be between, he always thought. They were almost back down to their original size, she claims, but most of the muscle mass she had gained from being active was gone. 

Though she still looked amazing and nearly the size Ben had always known her to be. But he didn’t care about if there were a few more inches on her waist line, or if her bra size had increased a cup or two. Yes, he loved her body, and he meant it. He would do anything to worship and make love to her body all the time. 

Which is how Ivy popped into existence. 

Ben loved what her pregnancy did not only to her body, but to her personality, senses, and emotions. She is the mother he had always dreamed his wife of being—and just as strong as his mother. Her touch became softer and purposeful, gaze authentic and content, and everything she did, she did with a newfound grace. Motherhood is beautiful on Rey. 

And Ben was willing to show her just how beautiful she actually is, that night, and every night for the rest of his life. 

—

The two of them laid in their large bed, Ben’s arm wrapped around Rey’s body as she had her head on his bare chest. She drew complex patterns on his chest as he brought his muscular arm up to run his fingers through his paint and sweat covered hair. 

“We need to shower,” he spoke softly into the comfortable silence they lingered in. Rey had just finished carefully scratching off dry paint that somehow landed on his collarbone. 

“Will you help me wash the paint off? I have no idea where your hands left marks.”

Ben smirked as he stared at the ceiling, hand resting in his hair. “Let’s just assume that I left them on the most important parts.”

“Which are?”

“Everything.”

Rey turned her body so that her bare front was pressing against his, but now she was hovering over him. Ben pulled the sheet up to cover her bottom as she used her slender fingers to draw over the paint that striped her lover’s face. 

“You’re just saying that because you married me,” she said sheepishly. 

“Well, I did marry you and you did have my child. But no, it’s not just because I committed my life to you.”

Rey’s eyes peered into his, a small sparkle that Ben loved to see shining in the light of the moon. 

“Actually, it’s just because it’s a pre-typed response on Tinder that used to score me all the ladies,” he said with a sly grin as Rey scoffed with a smile on her lips. 

“Unfair. I never knew you on Tinder.”

“Great because I really don’t have one.”

“Never?”

“No.”

“How come?”

“Why would I need one when the love of my life was struggling in the same biology course as me?”

Rey gave him a dead glance. “I wasn’t struggling. The lab that day was a lot harder than anything we’d ever done.”

“Sure, but I definitely looked over to you and saw you attempting to pull your hair out of its already loose bun and out of your skull.”

“That was a dark time for me. We don’t know her anymore.”

“Do we not now? The woman I sincerely fell in love with as each strand of hair floated down to the floor to its demise?”

Rey lightly hit his chest in protest. “Your expressions of affection are sometimes so backhanded.”

“They may be, but I only do it because it’s us. Your brain would turn to mush if I just spit out Nicholas Sparks kind of compliments and affection.”

“Maybe it would be nice if I had some of that!”

Ben tilted his head back with a scrunched-up longing expression, his eyes squinted closed. “If you live to be one hundred, I hope I live to be one hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you,” he said with a dramatic voice, causing Rey to laugh. 

“No! That’s disgusting,” she exclaimed, trying to giver his mouth with her hand. He caught it suddenly, gazing into her hazel eyes with fever that was obviously put on for show. 

“In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you,” he quoted with a British accent from Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. Of course he knew it by memory, that nerd, Rey thought. 

“Ben,” she breathed, eyes wide and staring at him in awe as she sat up slowly, clasping the white sheet to her chest. 

Ben raised his torso up slowly to meet hers, hand going up to caress her cheek and hold her jaw as he spoke even softer to her. “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night,” he recited from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. 

He pressed his lips against hers for the umpteenth time that night, but this time was so intentional, tender, and full of adoration he had for his lovely wife. Ben didn’t let the kiss linger too long as he gazed up to her with a grin. 

“I could always shower you with the romantic words of the world’s greatest pen holders. I know you like that.”

“Yeah,” she breathed, earning a chuckle from him. 

“C’mon. Let’s go get a shower and ready for bed. You’ve got just a bit of paint,” he trailed off, pulling down the bedsheet to teasingly touch all the dried color on her breasts, stomach, and collarbones. “Here,” he finished with a smirk. Rey jumped and tried to push his hands away with a giggle before the two of them tumbled out of their bed and into their connection master bath, washing themselves clean and preparing for a long, peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! 
> 
> This is just another fluff chapter of baby Ivy and parents!Reylo needed to remind each other that their relationship is important too, not just the bond between the family. I really enjoyed writing this chapter, especially the last part of the scene. Tenderness is like, my gold mine.
> 
> Anyway...
> 
> More ideas are coming! Let me know if you have any ideas for a specific plot point for these lovely characters! 
> 
> I am on Tumblr and Twitter as @Showersofsong, so feel free to send me ideas! 
> 
> All my love! X


	8. Currents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The current is strong, my arms are weak  
> But you are the branch within my reach  
> In this sea of change, understanding was swept away”  
> \- Currents; Sleeping at Last
> 
> —
> 
> The gang decide to take a beach trip together for the first time since becoming friends. This would be Rey’s first time at the beach. This Spring Break would be one they would remember forever.

March 2012

Rey had never been to the beach before. 

Or, at least not one on the Western Hemisphere where the water was warm and the sun would tan her skin. Usually, the beaches she traveled to were surrounded by rocks, cold winds, and freezing water. Some days were warmer than others, but she hadn’t ever experienced it. 

When her new group of friends decided to plan a trip down south, Rey’s excitement tipped the scales. Kaydel had thrown the idea out to them one night at dinner, already having a basic idea of what they could do, when they would do it, and where they would stay in order to persuade them. 

“Here’s what I propose,” she said in a serious tone, looking between each of the members of her gang with a gaze ready to amaze. “Spring Break. My parents’ beach house; six days of nonstop beach, drinks, and bars.”

“How do your parents own a beach house,” Poe asked incredulously, furrowing his eyebrows at the shorter girl. He crossed his arms over his chest in speculation. 

“Time-shares. Anyway,” she continued, not sparing him a glance as she continued to scan her mental power point of persuasion. “Who would be up for this?”

“Where exactly would we go,” Finn asked her, leaning his elbows against the wooden dinner table of the booth. 

“The place is in Cocoa Beach, Florida—“

“Oh my god,” Poe interrupted. “That’s so freaking close to the Kennedy Space Center. I literally have been wanting to go there since I was like, ten.” His eyes were wide with glee as he looked around the table to his friends. “I’m sold.”

“When would we leave?” Ben was in a relaxed position against the wooden back of the booth, turning his head to look at Kaydel. His hands were clasped together in his lap, though a bottle of beer in his grasp. 

“I’m glad you asked,” Kaydel said with a grin, looking at her best friend sitting next to her. “Classes are mostly over for us on Wednesday, right?”

“I’ve got an education class that ends at 2:30,” Rose informed her friends. “But my other professors know that no one is going to be here, so they canceled.”

“I don’t even have classes on Fridays, and Thursday’s class is optional,” Poe added. 

“Yeah, my workload is a lot lighter this semester so I can leave whenever,” said Finn. 

“What about you guys?” Kaydel glanced between Ben and a quiet Rey who was looking like her excitement could bubble over. 

“They canceled rehearsal for ‘Lingue di fuoco e gloria’ Friday night since most people are going to be gone, but they asked me to stick around on Thursday,” Ben said with a slight scowl. 

Rey watched as the man her heart beat twice as fast for, though she’d never admit it to his face—or anyone for that matter—suddenly looked a little downcast. A frown slowly started to etch across her own features—she didn’t want him to be the only one without the opportunity to leave town earlier with the rest of them. Her classes were definitely canceled, if she had any since she was almost finished with her degree. 

For Ben’s comfort, she spoke up. “I have an art studio class my professor asked me to stick around and help teach on Thursday night,” she said, not being totally false with her information. She was asked by her art studio professor to help a fellow student out, but she definitely already did that.

Rey knew Ben immediately realized that she was not being honest as his eyes darted to meet hers. She grinned sheepishly as she looked down to her hands. “So I’ll be staying here Thursday night, too.”

“Okay, that’s fine,” Kaydel consoled the two of them. “We four will get a flight for Wednesday and you guys can meet us down on Friday. No big deal. That way we can come get you at the airport.”

Ben and Rey nodded, sharing a look between each other as their group continued to talk about plans amongst themselves. The two of them had grown significantly closer within the last six months. Yes, they had known each other for nearly a year and a half, the whole bunch of them, but one night in the basement of the library where no one else could see, the two of them shared a moment of laughter and joy they hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever. 

Rey had begged Ben to act out a scene of the play he was studying, and he did with his incredible knack for the art. She was tickled by his various accents and ability to make the words seem effortless and authentic from right off the page. Not long after, Ben pulled her out of her seat, put the book in her hand, and challenged her to join in. He matched her British accent with one he had mastered years ago, causing Rey to laugh hysterically and playfully hit him as he mocked some of her homeland’s more embarrassing cultural habits. 

But she had to give it to him, he did it pretty fucking fantastically and definitely won her over. 

Since then, the two of them had been going to their spot in the library more frequently, even once the group had split for the day. There was just something about Ben that made Rey feel comfortable. It made her feel safe and wanted. 

Ben felt heard. He felt like his words had finally reached someone, and he was thankful that it was her. 

There had been a few discussions about where they stand since that one night, but Rey continuously kept pushing off the subject. She didn’t feel like it was right for them to start something, not when all six of them were about to graduate, or even in the shadows from their friends’ awareness. Hell, Finn and Rose has only just confirmed their relationship to them about three months ago.

She felt like the friend group couldn’t handle another heartbreak if they were to get together and things not work out. The same for Finn and Rose, but they were perfect for one another. 

In all fairness, she and Ben were friends before they were anything else. That’s where she drew the line, leaving Ben to pine after the stubborn girl. 

He would become so frustrated with her because she just couldn’t see it like he could. He knew she felt the feelings too, felt the connection between them, but she couldn’t let go of the fear of ruining what they have.

All she would tell him, with silent tears running down her cheeks, was, “I cannot handle being heartbroken by being utterly alone again, if we were to end things.” 

Ben’s defensive walls would collapse as he held her close to him, whispering promises to console her fears of abandonment. He’d never completely understand what she truly meant with her words, but he got the message. 

This is where they were. Sitting across from one another with a bit of a tension between them, but nonetheless a huge respect and fondness for the other. Ben gave her an easy grin before he was snapped out of her gaze by Kaydel repeating his name. 

“Ben,” she said for the third time, looking at him with frustrated eyes. His head quickly turned to her, his eyebrows raising as he scanned what she was indicating to him. The glow of a phone screen caught his attention and he then chose to lean forward a little to see the bright and colorful images. 

Before she continued, she looked back over at Rey with a skeptical glance, the poor girl flushing furiously as she turned her face to Rose. “This is what the house looks like. Three bedrooms, the living area couch turns into a bed as well. Kitchen, outdoor patio that leads to the beach. Two and a half bathrooms.”

Rey’s perceptive hearing listened in on their conversation, knowing very well that Kaydel and Ben were closer than anyone at the table. She only claimed to this one instance of eavesdropping to see if Kaydel would question him. Thankfully, the other girl didn’t and Rey’s heart rate lowered. 

They all ate their dinner at their favorite place on campus, an Italian hole-in-the-wall hot spot that was not far from the main section of the quad. It was their watering hole and the staff knew them by name, and not just because they go to school together. It’s their favorite place to be when they’re not congregated in the small spaces of their individual apartments. It’s where they made their fondest memories. 

Once they were done, they took their leave for the evening. Rey had walked to the restaurant from working in the art studio, so Ben had offered her a ride back to her apartment. Finn’s eyebrows quirked up when he overheard the taller man offer, watching them closely as they walked a little farther ahead than the rest. They were all heading to the parking lot to their respective cars until they stopped in a circle. 

“Please let me know what you think about the trip. And it needs to be said soon,” Kaydel told each of them, clutching her purse strap hanging from her shoulder. 

“I think we’re all down for it,” Finn responded, eying everyone in the circle. “We can talk about some other plans to do when we’re down there.”

“But please, let’s make the Kennedy Center actually happen,” Poe begged, his hands in his jacket pockets. 

“We’ll get you to the space station,” Kaydel rolled her eyes at him. 

“And we’ll look at plane tickets? For the four of us?” Rose turned her head to look up at Finn.

“Yeah, I’ll take a look at plane tickets for us on Wednesday,” he said. 

“And we’ll look up tickets for Friday morning,” Ben added with a nod of his head, turning his gaze down to Rey. She gave him a soft grin in response. 

“Okay. Then, it’s settled,” Kaydel said with bright eyes, then exclaimed: “We’re going to the beach!” 

—

Ben walked Rey up to the front door of her apartment when they reached the tiny house a few minutes after the group disbanded. They both lingered on the little porch for a little longer, Ben looking up to the gorgeous girl from the concrete walkway as she stood at the top. 

“You know, you didn’t have to stay back. You could have gone with them,” he said in the quiet moment. 

“I haven’t the faintest idea of what you’re talking about,” she responded as she turned her gaze to the colorful setting sun. The last few rays of sunlight pooled on her face, causing her hazel eyes to sparkle even more than Ben thought they did. Butterflies went soaring in his stomach at the sight. 

“Really, Rey? Your professor wants you to teach on the subject you only completed a minor in?” Ben stepped up onto the first step of the tiny porch, meeting her eye level. 

“What, you don’t think I could have been asked? My superior talent being sought for by inspiring artists?”

“Not that I think it couldn’t be asked of you, but more so because if our friends are anything as involved as I am in your life, they should know that you already did a version of this.” 

“I could have been asked to do it again!”

“The week before Spring Break?” His eyebrow raised in sly suspicion, a smirk dancing across his lips. “I don’t think so.”

“Well,” Rey said quietly as she looked down to her sneakers, avoiding his teasing gaze. “Maybe I just wanted to stay back and try to take as much time as I need.”

“How much time would you need to pack for the beach?”

“I’ve never been to one, so I wouldn’t know.”

Ben froze in his spot, staring at her innocent expression. The poor girl had never experienced a vacation to the beach? Not even a pit stop on a road trip to one?

Then he remembered how Rey had told him she had a severely troubled past, but would never reveal to him the extent of it. He knew she wasn’t from this country and had come for school, but that’s all he knew about her, backstory wise. 

His gaze upon her softened as he reached up to tilt her chin back up from where she was shamefully looking at her quirky shoes (“I’ve had them since I moved here, and they’ve done me well since. Leave me alone,” she would proudly tell a teasing Ben when interrogated). 

“Take as much time as you need. I’ll look into getting us a couple of tickets for Friday morning. It might be an early flight, but it would put us down there at about midday. And knowing our friends, they won’t be waking up until that time anyway.”

Rey’s eyes met his, a smile etching across her face. “Please let me know if I can help with anything.”

Ben grinned and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. Most of them had become quite close to where this was a comfortable gesture of kindness. But this time, both of them felt that it was different. Purposeful, somehow. 

“Goodnight, Rey,” he spoke softly into the air, the sun having finished its show for the day, and darkness growing around them. Rey watched him walk back towards his nice car, waving to him as he backed out of the driveway and drove back down the street and away from the place she could finally call home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> This is one part of the story I have been dwelling on writing since I first published. I wanted to make sure every part of this was perfectly detailed and everything was planned out correctly. It’s also the chapters that will be in succession to one another, so don’t skip around!
> 
> Also, I went back in and changed the year the friends met. It would just make more sense if they met a year before and were to take this trip, and for the progression of their relationships. But don’t worry, there will be future chapters that go into detail about what they did with that extra year! 
> 
> These chapters might be short, but I have a plan for each of them, and there are going to be more than just a couple. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! As always, thank you so much for all your reads, kudos, and love for this story. 
> 
> All my love! X


	9. Love Never Fails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Although my words failed  
> You knew what I was trying to say  
> And though my hands weak by sorrow  
> Still would never let go of this memory  
> Where the trees bowed from the wind  
> You whispered "I promise, I promise you"  
> You held my hands tight  
> Comfort remains”  
> \- Love Never Fails; Sleeping at Last  
> —  
> It’s the Thursday night before Rey and Ben are to leave for vacation. Things go way differently than they expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put this warning at the beginning:
> 
> There are mentions of anxiety attacks and minor explanation of what someone goes through when having one. It is not mentioned for very long and is more towards the end. Very minor reference (like heavy breathing, tightening of the chest, loss of hearing), but if mentions of this is a trigger for you, I advise caution. Read whatever makes you comfortable!
> 
> As someone who also experiences these things and other stresses from mental health, I empathize with you and am here for you. <3 please take care of yourself.

Thursday the week before Spring Break 2012

Rey paced around her little home, checking every spot to make sure it was as neat as possible. She had invited Ben over after he finished the late night play rehearsal, so he didn’t have to drive all the way over here in the early morning, she defended. 

Ben would’ve come anyway. But he was very appreciative of her invitation. 

He had almost everything packed by Wednesday evening, finishing up the last bit before he left for the rehearsal. It was almost not worth it, calling everyone to the practice since their minds had already transitioned into Spring Break mode. They just ran through specific scenes that the director wanted more details on for character choices and blocking. Ben also tried his hand in impersonating the characters to help the actors, flushing furiously when they applauded at his convincing and authentic ability. He thanked them meekly before turning to his seat near the director, ears burning. 

Now, he was on his way over as Rey mentally panicked at the state of her apartment. 

It was as neat as it always was, but for some unknown reason, she felt like it was nowhere near the quality Ben deserved to see. 

Why was she thinking this way, she wondered to herself numerous times. The gang had always spent time in each other’s apartments, never minding whatever state it was in at the time. Hell, she and Ben had spent time in her tiny home a number of times and she was never this nerve-wracked at it’s current appearance. 

Maybe it was time to get a new living room set. 

Or, the smarter part of her brain told her, like the little devil on her shoulder, it was time to admit that she had feelings for Ben and wanted him to be impressed by her. 

Oh no, that definitely wasn’t it. She did not have feelings for Ben. He was her best friend, like Finn, Poe, Rose, and Kaydel were. Just because she and Ben spent more alone time together, or laughed at the same things, invested themselves in activities that made them lose track of time—

—Or going to bars after long days at school or work to get drinks and unwind; or even staying late in the studio to make an art project that Rey had been tasked to do. What about the art galleries they had visited together, or the times when she was too scared to be alone and he stayed on the phone with her all night?—

No, she would command to her inner voice. Those were just things friends do. Friends take the time to spend time together, and be there for the other when they needed someone. 

But why would she always turn to Ben, her mind wondered. Why wouldn’t she call upon Rose, or Kaydel? Girls who know about what she goes through, female to female. But what was it about Ben that made her feel so safe? 

She was quickly pulled from the deepest parts of her mind as there was a knock on the door. Rey jumped at the knocking sound, instantly pulling her thoughts back to the present moment and scurrying over to the front door. She opened it to reveal the taller male standing on the little stone porch, hands in his pockets and a messenger bag draped across his torso. 

“Hi, stranger,” Rey greeted with a smile, opening the door wider for him to enter her home. Smiling in return, Ben stepped inside. 

“Practice really shouldn’t have happened tonight,” he sighed as he walked into the open space, taking the bag from off his body and sitting it in one of the four kitchen chairs. Rey closed the door, crossing her arms across her chest as she leaned against the side of the fridge. 

“How come? Did it go horribly?”

“Not exactly,” he replied, turning to her, placing his hands on his hips. “Everyone was kind of over it, and it’s expected because it’s essentially Spring Break. But we got a few complicated scenes worked out, so it all wasn’t all for nothing.”

“Well, I’m glad something was productive,” Rey said with a grin as she watched the flustered man run one of his hands through his hair once he finished. “I’ve got some stuff for us to make dinner for tonight. I didn’t want to start before you got here and it be cold.”

“What,” he smirked, walking over to the countertop that she had laid out the ingredients for their meal. “I can’t come ‘home’ to a steaming meal after work?” 

Rey flushed at his teasing. “No, actually. You can’t.” She chuckled and made her way over to where he stood, standing just a little away from him. “I’m surprised you weren’t here to bring my dinner to me. You once were a pizza deliverer, right?”

“Close. Coffee shop barista,” he teased right back to her joke, a happy gin spreading across his lips. 

“Damn, I thought you could score us something nice. I guess we’re stuck with this,” she said, gesturing to the ingredients. 

“I mean, eating a raw head of lettuce by itself does not sound appetizing to me, either,” he quirked and eyebrow up, picking up the vegetable in his large hand. She rolled her eyes at him, taking the vegetable into her own grasp. 

“Quit making fun of my expression of gratitude that I laid out for you. You know, back in the colonial times, your people would have to eat this and consider themselves blessed.”

“Oh really?” Ben laughed out loud, picking up a raw carrot. In a colonial English accent, he lowered himself a tad, grasping the vegetable like it was a life preserver. “Many thanks, kind Master, for this fine fruit of the ground. Thou shall not mistake providing my family with such blessings.” 

Rey scrunched you her nose playfully and shoved him away from her gently with a chuckle. “You’re the worst. Also, that’s exactly the kind of shabby English you all were promoting. That’s how ‘y’all,’” she said in her best American accent, “Was birthed into existence.”

“Wow,” Ben grinned. “I’m just a tad offended as I have nothing but respect for the amazing authors from Great Britain, and here you stand mocking my ancestors greatest term of endearment for a large group of people.”

“It’s so lazy! Just say, ‘you, all!’ It’s not that hard,” she exclaimed, beginning to prepare the meal she had planned.

“‘Ain’t that lazy, ma’am,” he replied in his greatest southern accent. “Y’all Yankees refuse to take your time, like the drip of the sweet molasses in the summertime.” 

“You’re absolutely dreadful.”

“Might be,” Ben continued in the accent, a grin plastered on his features as he helped Rey prepare their meal. “Yet you still keep me around like a stray puppy.”

Maybe she did, Rey thought, letting the little devil on her shoulder have the last word this time. 

—

The two of them finished their meal together, chatting about what their wild friends could be doing tonight, based off the photos that was sent to their group chat. Ben reminded her that she did not have to stay back with him, but Rey shrugged it off, claiming that she had some other things she needed to do. She also told him that flying alone is horrid, especially to another country, and she didn’t want him to have to go through it. 

Ben asked her about what it was like traveling so far. She gave him the basic answers, like the dreadfulness of the several hour flights, waiting around in airports only to be on delays, not knowing if her luggage made it with her across the ocean. He then pushed further to ask about what she thought when she first stepped on American soil. 

“It smelled weird,” she admitted with a laugh. “The airport had a mixture of smells, like fried food, bakeries, and overly sugary coffee drinks.”

Not trying to intrude on things she had not desired to share, he changed the subject by rising to start cleaning up. She did the same, asking him if he’d ever been out of the country before. He replied with a nod of his head, claiming that his parents had taken him on a cruise once, and his mother and him went down to Central and South America to provide extra hands to build homes for those affected by poverty and the poor economic states of the countries. Rey’s heart twinged, in a way understanding how those poor people felt. 

She expressed her fondness for that, then offering him a drink. They moved their conversations to her living room, putting on some random movie for background noise as Rey questioned Ben more about his past. She wondered why he chose liberal arts, and what his parents do; what his favorite childhood activity was, and what American life was when he was growing up. Ben answered each of her questions with a patience she had never received before, calmness in his reminiscing of the memories. Rey wondered what that was like, not having to turn the cheek on something that happened a long time ago. 

She quickly avoided that thought and focuses back on Ben. 

After a while, they both found a peaceful silence as they sat on the couch, closer than where they were before, focused on the scene playing before them on the television. Ben’s left hand was resting on his knee as his drink was in the other, Rey’s hand dangerously close as it rested on the soft cushion as she curled into herself. 

“Rey,” Ben spoke softly, not wanting to disturb the bliss they currently sat in. Rey couldn’t tell if it was just because of the amount of alcohol they had consumed, or if it was her lowered inhibitions that made everything between them seem comfortable. Either way, she turned her head towards him as it leaned against the back of the couch. 

“Hmm?”

He swallowed a lump in his throat, tightening his hold on his knee. “Why do we keep doing this?”

“Keep doing what?”

Ben used his other hand with his drink to gesture towards the kitchen and then to them. “This. Make and have dinner together, alone. Sit here and share parts of our lives that only we would reveal to the other. Why—“ he stopped, wanting to choose his next words carefully without his usual complete awareness. “Why do we do this and think nothing of it?”

“Because,” Rey said slowly, trying to think of a reason. “Because that’s what friends do. They hang out, have dinner together, have drinks. Share stories.”

“Do you do this with Finn or Poe?”

“No,” she said quickly with a shake of her head. “Why would I? Finn is dating Rose, and Poe and I could never come to an agreement on what we would do. He and I can’t sit still in a room together for more than fifteen minutes. I love them both so much, but no, I couldn’t do this with them.”

“And I assume you, Rose, and Kaydel all get together, or do the one-on-one?”

“Of course, they’re my girl-friends. They’re the ones I can talk about things I couldn’t share with you boys.”

“Is there anyone else you do this with?”

“No, Ben,” she said with more firmness, turning her eyes to stare at him. “You are the only one I enjoy spending time with like this.”

“Then why,” he paused again, turning his body to face hers on the couch. “Why must we go around in so many circles with our tails between our legs. Rey, I’ve told you time and time again that I’ve loved spending times like these with you. In fact, you’ve been the only person I’ve wanted to do this with for the last half year. Why can we not make this more?”

Rey kept silent as she played with the bottle in her hands. Why could she not allow herself to let her arms open wide and welcome the most handsome and loving man she had ever known into her arms? Why were her walls so high around her heart when Ben did his best to climb and climb to reach the other side? 

“Because we’re friends, Ben. Friends don’t make their responsibilities as friends anything ‘more.’ A friend is supposed to be there for their friends, spend time together, make great memories without expecting anything more.”

Ben’s eyes slowly began to glow with defeat. “Then how do you explain Finn and Rose, huh?”

“They’re the exception. They are perfect for each other.”

“And you don’t think we are?”

“Think we are what?”

“For God’s sake, Rey,” Ben stood up in frustration and paced away from the couch and confusing, alcohol heavy atmosphere. He ran his hand anxiously through his dark hair, facing away from Rey. 

All she could do was stare at his muscular back and shoulders through the maroon sweater he wore. Her head was too far gone to truly feel the intense impact that Ben was feeling. Oh, how badly she wanted to experience the fervor he had for this. For the idea of them together. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t dare let her heart latch onto the hope of that. What if they did get together and things not work out? What would her friends think? What if she and Ben ruin everything between them? Between their friends? What if they lost their fondness for each other, or the bond between them faded into nothingness and they were forced to split? What if he left her? Would she end up being alone just as she was all those years ago, and her friend group turns their backs to her—

Her breath hitched as she realized she was in the midst of panicking. Her hands were grasping onto the plush throw pillows that scattered her couch. She blinked her eyes to bring her to the moment as Ben was kneeling in front of her, his hands on the sides of her face and eyes locked dead into hers, like a life reservoir. Rey couldn’t hear anything but her rapid heartbeat and jagged breaths. Somehow, amongst the silence, she heard him ask permission to touch her once more, and she nodded her head. 

Rey kept her eyes on his as he removed the pillows her hands clutched onto, and took her wrists into his hands. He crossed her arms and slowly pressed them into her chest. Naturally, her arms put pressure on her heaving chest as his hands started to pulse another pressure on hers beneath. As the tightness in her chest started to release, the pulsing of her hands against her own skin helped her feel in control of bringing her awareness back. Her eyes were still wide on him, her anchor in this large wave of panic, and he kept his on her. Slowly, hearing started coming back as her breathing retuned to a calmer state. 

“There you go,” Ben’s soothing words finally reached her, triggering a comforting recognition in her body. They both continued to apply the pressure until she gained enough stability to take a final deep breath and blink away the fear from her gaze. 

“You’re okay, Rey. I’m here,” he spoke in a soft voice, lifting one of his hands to brush her hair back behind her ear. She closed her eyes and leaned her head into his palm. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

“Don’t apologize. I triggered it and I’m sorry for that. We don’t have to talk about it again,” he confirmed, looking at her with a steady gaze. Slowly, she opened her eyes once more before launching herself carefully into his arms. He was started for a brief moment at her actions, but instantly held her close to his body. She was safe in his arms, and he wouldn’t let her go. 

Rey grasped onto his sweater as her arms wrapped around his neck, her face buried in the side of his head. After a few moments of silence, she whispered to him something he wasn’t expecting. 

“I don’t want to sleep alone tonight.”

“Hmm?” 

“I don’t think I can do it.”

He understood what she was saying, just taken back at first. The whole incident that occurred confused him entirely as held the beautiful girl in his arms. They had been talking about why they couldn’t be together, he got a little frustrated, but before he could say anything he might regret, she was in a full panic attack. Now, they sat there, her in his arms, begging him to sleep with her for the night. 

She had some explaining to do. But, because of the intensity of the night and the fact that they were to go where their worries went away, he left it alone. 

Nodding, Ben raised himself up, lifting her up in a carrying hold. She clung to him miserably as he made his way back to her bedroom. He had been there before, but this time it was different. 

There, he sat her on her yellow, daisy patterned bedspread and allowed herself to unwrap from her clutch. He promised her that he’d be back as he went to the living room to turn out all the lights and clean up their empty drinks. Ben grabbed his bag from where he moved it, and headed his way back to her room. 

Within the short amount of time he was gone, she had changed into her pajamas—athletic shorts and a university sweatshirt. Her hair was taken down from its messy bun and laying in waves against her shoulders. Ben thought she was beautiful and froze in the doorway. 

“You can have the bathroom first,” she spoke quietly, shyness in her voice. 

Ben nodded, heading back that way to the bathroom to change and brush his teeth. Once he finished, she and him exchanged places as she finished getting ready for bed. When she returned, he was seated on the edge of her bed in a black tee and gym shorts. He was scrolling through his phone, hand scratching the back of his neck. Rey turned out the lights, leaving the strands of fairy lights hanging behind her bed and canopy of lights twinkling in the darkness. 

Looking up to the lights, Ben grinned at just how interesting Rey could be with decorating her space, or any space. She padded her way across the wooden floor to her bed, crawling in and reaching out to tug on the back of his shirt. Ben turned his head to her, seeing her grin again for the first time after the incident. His heart melted in gladness for the girl, watching her slowly return back to the Rey he knew. 

He crawled up to where she was in the bed, helping her get settled before he did himself. They both laid back on the pillows, each on their own for an awkward moment. Then, before Ben knew, she made the decision to turn her body into his, laying her head on his shoulder, placing her hand on his chest. He was utterly shocked, but kept his face completely blank, if not looking any more happier to see her open up to him. His arm came around to hold her, something he crazily found natural as they both laid together, falling into the best sleep they both had received in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> I was way too excited to just leave you all with one chapter today. I’m so excited for these next chapters! And I hope that you are too—we get to know our characters so much more on this vacation since it’s their first time spending that much time together and working through tough stuff.
> 
> This chapter was very heavy. I’ve been thinking of plot points as to why Rey and Ben could struggle in their relationship, and I’ve written and rewritten scenarios. But I think I am finally happy with this, and it makes the best sense. Everything else falls into place now. 
> 
> The strategy to calm someone down during a panic attack is one I learned from a therapist last year. Although you have to be careful when touching the person experiencing one, it has proven to be very effective in calming them down (I’ve done this on myself numerous times).
> 
> Again, thank you for all your reads, kudos, comments, and love <3 it’s because of you I put words to a page. I hope you enjoy!


	10. Thanks For the Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And every time that I looked into your eyes  
> I knew that we were forever  
> But I forgot that we were fragile  
> Every second that you were around  
> Made me appreciate every moment
> 
> In this life”  
> \- Thanks For the Memories; Sleeping at Last  
> —  
> Ben and Rey finally join their friends at the beach to start their Spring Break they all deserved.

Friday before Spring Break 2012

Ben and Rey had made it to Florida when they were scheduled to. After an early morning rise, helping Rey finish packing the last few items she needed, getting dressed (and their first time brushing their teeth together), driving to the next town over to the airport, they caught their three hour flight in just enough time. 

The events of the night before were left unsaid. And it would remain unsaid, mostly from Ben’s fear of triggering another moment of panic for the girl he was absolutely in love with. Sleeping next to her the night before was something he dreamed of for such a long time, and despite waking up early, he felt much better rested than he ever had. The twinkle of her fairy lights added the extra magic he wasn’t expecting to experience, and yet, much to his surprise (and gratefulness), she hadn’t left his side. She didn’t move away from him or push him out. 

It confused him further and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. 

However, their friends didn’t need to know that. For all their hungover minds knew, they woke up at the break of dawn just to get here.

The two of them were greeted by their friends who looked as if they had just woken up, but also a lot more relaxed from the large intake of alcohol from the night before. They hugged each other and congratulated on a safe flight, then going on to fill each other in on what Rey and Ben missed during the first couple of days as they made their way to their rental car. 

Not more than a couple hours later, they were all enjoying themselves down on the sandy beach. 

The six of them had finally made it to the place where all worries were left behind. The sand beneath their feet was not too warm, and the water was not too cool, but the weather was perfect. It was a place of bliss that each of them needed, all for different reasons than the rest. 

Ben sat on his towel, short-sleeved white button-up shirt open and sunglasses placed perfectly to give him the badass look he never intended to have. Poe was sitting in a beach chair, head tilted back against the little pillow connected to it, sound asleep with a bottle of beer in his hands. 

Finn was hitting a beach ball into the air with Rose as she laughed happily, having to jump up farther to reach the falling ball. 

Kaydel was mixing herself another drink from their cooler underneath their colorful umbrella. Her family kindly allowed them to use their beach equipment that they stored in the time-share. 

Ben scoped the beach with a content expression on his face, not necessarily a smile nor a frown shown in his features. He had his arms leaning against his knees that were brought up near his chest. Then, after one last look, his eyes landed on Rey standing at the shore line with a white button up on as well, her yellow bathing suit shining through the thin material thanks to the sun. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun as a blue and purple head wrap sat against her hairline. Her toes were drawing lines in the wet sand before the waves would come and wash them away every few seconds. 

Ben thought she was beautiful. 

After a few extra moments of staring, he stood up from his spot and made his way over to the gorgeous girl by the water. When he arrived, Rey turned to him with a smile, the sun making her eyes squint a little under her hand’s attempt to block the rays. 

“Is it all you ever hoped and dreamed for,” he asked with a grin, sticking his hands in the pockets of his dark red shorts. Rey noticed his skin was almost porcelain in the bright sunlight, and worried that he would burn if he wasn’t careful. 

“That, and more,” she responded, stepping closer to him. “You need to be careful with this sun. Your skin will burn if you don’t take care of it.”

“I’ve got it taken care of. As to why I wear the shirt,” he said as he pulled at the collar of his button-up. 

“That won’t be enough.”

“I’m aware.”

“Then please take care of yourself. We didn’t come for you to just turn into a lobster.”

“Hey, I believe I’d make a fine lobster, thank you,” he teased with a smirk. When the wave flowed back up to the shoreline, he took his foot and splashed water against Rey’s legs. She jumped back with a squeal, hazel eyes burning into him playfully. 

“Joke’s on you, I don’t like lobster,” she teased in return, leaning down to use her hands to make a bigger splash for Ben. He lifted his hands in defense and turned his face away from the salty water, only to do the same to her. 

“At least you’re not allergic to it,” he said as the water almost hit her, but missed as she dashed away from him. 

Ben chased after Rey on the shoreline, eventually catching up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist, spinning her in a circle as they were knee-deep in the blue water. Finn and Rose stood with Kaydel as they watched the two of them. 

“Apparently this is Rey’s first time on a beach,” Finn told the two ladies standing next to him. 

Rose nodded in agreement. “When we were roommates, she told me that she had never experienced things like this. Vacations, the coast, nothing. It was on her bucket list, but there was never anyone to help her make it come to pass.”

“That’s tragic,” Kaydel whispered before she sipped her drink through a pink straw. “It makes me feel ever more thankful to have met her, you know?”

“What do you think the two of them did while we were here?” Finn looked down to the two women, a smirk playing on his lips. 

“I don’t know, but they are definitely less tense, if they even were before,” Rose responded, studying the dynamic between the two of them playing in the water, competing over who could splash the other better. 

“Do you think they fucked?”

“Oh, god no,” Kaydel said after swallowing a sip of her drink. “Ben’s still got that weird shoulder tension he gets when things aren’t working out.”

“How do you know this?” Rose turned to Kaydel, hand coming up to block the sun from her eyes as she stared at her friend curiously. 

“I’ve known Ben since he was fourteen. He’s always carried that tension on his shoulders like the weight of the world.” She took another sip. 

“But it doesn’t make sense,” Finn said frustratingly, putting more weight on the opposite foot. “This is the most playful and probably flirty we’ve seen them act, they were left alone for two whole days, and Rey’s got this look whenever she interacts or looks at Ben. Something’s up.”

“Of course something’s up, Finn. They’re in love,” Rose said simply. 

Kaydel almost spit out her drink, choking down burning liquor with a cough.

“Woah,” Finn warned his girlfriend. “I wouldn’t go that far. Maybe they both have feelings for each other, but I don’t think it’s love.”

“Why do you say that,” asked Rose. 

“I mean, they’re acting playful, maybe even flirty, but they’re not acting in love.”

“You stupid, stupid boy,” Kaydel mumbled under her breath, realizing the error of his words as Rose’s stature changed, her hands coming to rest on her hips in irritation. 

“So just because you and I don’t act like we’re in love like some Hollywood teen beach lovers, doesn’t mean you and I are in love?”

Finn’s face drained of color. “N-no that’s not what I’m saying at all—,”

Rose stopped him. “You and I act playful and you flirt with me all the time. And after all these months, you don’t think we’re in love?” 

“Rose that’s—,” he tried before getting cut off again. 

“You can defend yourself whenever you decide if we’re in love, asshole,” she spat, having the last word as she made her way back over to her chair, sitting down in the comfortable material and closing her eyes behind her sunglasses. 

“You are so stupid, and don’t even realize it,” Kaydel told him flatly while Finn pined pitifully for his angry girlfriend. She was sitting with an angry expression on her face as their friend next to her snored loudly to indicate the depth of his sleep.

“I don’t know what I said to upset her,” Finn said with a frown, a small pout forming in his bottom lip. 

Kaydel rolled her eyes underneath her cat-eye sunglasses. “Bitch, she absolutely loves you. She can see love because she’s in love. And for you to just outright say that she’s wrong is like saying she’s wrong for believing you both are in love.”

“I love her! I do! There’s no one else I would ever want to spend my life with, or do the things we do with someone else—,”

“—didn’t need that much information—,” Kaydel cut with a grimace. 

“Kay, I’m crazy for her. You know I am! Fuck it if those two are in love. It’s not as much as I love my Rosie,” he said childishly, staring at Rose. 

Kaydel took the opportunity to pull out an ice cube from her drink at pelt it at Finn. He jumped with the cool object hit his skin, shrieking a curse at the girl before she did it once more with a wicked grin on her face. 

“Stop it—Rose, honey,” he called out to her. She took her dainty hand and tilted her sunglasses down to see him. 

“I love you, and I’m not ever gonna stop loving you—ouch! Stop, Kaydel,” he exclaimed as he flinched when another ice cube pelted his skin. “I’m coming to make love to you—KAYDEL—like never before!”

Kaydel pelted him with bigger blocks of ice, almost pouring her drink on him the longer he kept talking about fucking his girlfriend. All the while these shenanigans ensured, Ben and Rey had missed all the action as they were so invested in their own little world out in the beautiful water. 

—

Rey thought the beach was beautiful. 

The colors of the water were seriously some of her favorite hues to use in many of her pieces. She loved the way the water transitioned from the dark blue of the depths of the water to the shallow sky blue where all the seashells were buried, and then to the break of the wave as it crashed white against the tan sand. She had never seen nature produce this form of beauty. 

And it’s exactly where she wanted to stay forever. 

Knowing it was physically impossible for her to stay there forever, she pulled out her sketch pad and began to draw everything she saw. The colored pencils in her bag were awaiting her touch to remind her of the glorious sights and colors she experienced. 

Rey was laying on her stomach as she colored leisurely. The sun was shining down onto her tanned skin, giving her a golden glow. Ben was laying on his towel next to hers, elbow propping him up on his left side as he read one of his favorite pieces of literature for the umpteenth time. 

He honestly couldn’t keep his focus on his book as he viewed Rey from this angle, her back bottom half facing him straight on. He knew he probably was a disgusting male who did the unfortunate of objectifying one of the girls he really cared for, but damn if Rey wasn’t beautiful. 

Also, his mind raced with thoughts about what caused her to panic so badly last night. Did he say something too abrasive? Did he pressure her into saying something she didn’t want to? 

Was it her own thoughts that troubled her?

Whatever it was, he tried to shake it out of his mind as he tried to focus on the words of the book. But watching the girl draw what her mind’s eye could only see fascinated him much more than the likes of Heathcliff from Emily Brönte’s Wuthering Heights. 

“What are you drawing,” he asked her, pulling himself up in a crossed-legged position. 

“There was a crab that crawled by a minute ago, and I have to get what I saw onto paper,” she answered, focused deeply on her drawing. 

Ben released a heartfelt chuckle as he leaned his elbows against his knees. “You know that we have several more days for you to draw everything you see, right?”

“I know, but what if there isn’t another ‘first beach day’? I want to capture every second I can in case that happens.” 

Ben frowned a little before brushing a few of the loose strands of baby hair that poked out of her head wrap behind her ear. “There’ll be more first days.”

“How do you know?” She turned her head to look back at him, a nervous and skeptical look in her eyes. Ben could only stare in amazement at her natural beauty. Despite not truly believing him, her hazel eyes radiated in the shining sun as freckles danced across her nose more prominently than before. 

“I’ll make sure of it.” He gave her a warm grin. “C’mon, let’s take a walk down the shore. You need to give yourself a break.”

“But what if I miss more crabs?”

“Rey, there are tons of crabs. They reproduce like rabbits. There'll be time left for you to sketch crabs and all of the beach’s marine and natural wildlife, but not enough for us to wonder the shore this afternoon.” He rose from his seat on the sand and walked in front of Rey. His hand was extended down to her to help her rise. 

“Will you join me? Please?” Ben’s eyes searched hers from behind his sunglasses. After a few moments of consideration, Rey closed her sketch pad and rose from her position on her towel with Ben’s thoughtful extension. She was now only in her bathing suit, but demanded Ben keep his white button-up on to protect his skin. He merely chuckled at her and led them to the shoreline and their journey down the strip. 

They passed Finn and Rose who were floating out in the water together, both having calmed down from their heated encounter and make out session, a cool drink in their hands. Poe was now awake making himself lunch as Kaydel relaxed beneath the umbrella, more than likely fighting off the strong buzz she had felt earlier. 

Rey and Ben enjoyed their time alone on the beach. They talked about all things at once, every little detail diving them farther into rabbit holes. Rey asked about Ben’s life growing up and if he ever traveled to the beach. He told her he did and recounted a story of when his father taught him how to ride a wave board, and how his mother and he had gone parasailing once. Ben also dramatized another story of when a crab pinched his father and his mother merely laughed at him instead of helping him. 

She enjoyed listening to the stories of Ben’s family. She hoped to really get to know them one day, more than the casual greetings they share when they cross paths. But she wouldn’t say that to Ben. 

Ben told her of the peaceful nights his family sat outside of the balcony of their hotel and listened to the waves under soft yellow string lights. As a child, he had fallen asleep against his mother’s side as they sat in such a blissful moment. It was one of his favorites that he hoped to experience with his own children one day. 

His cruise adventures was one Rey had found curious the night before and finally found the time to ask about it. Ben said he couldn’t remember all of it since he was young, but remembered seeing nothing but open ocean for a long time, experiencing exotic tropical islands and the native culture of the villages and ports. He also told her the one memory that stuck with him: his mother and father dancing to the slow jazz music that the live band played on the last night of their cruise. This was one of the few times he had ever seen his parents be truly romantic, and he watched them with wonder in his eyes. 

Their topics of conversation danced between the seashells Rey’s feet had stepped on or kicked across the mushy sand to Ben’s experiences wave boarding. Once they had gone far enough, they decided to walk back. Every once and a while a comfortable silence washed over them and their hands brushed. When they returned, the sun was beginning to set and signaled that it was time for them to head back to the house. 

—

Later that night, Ben was leaning against the balcony railing above the back patio. He was staring out into the water as the moon reflected it’s beautiful face into the water. 

“Hey, bud,” Poe said as he stepped out onto the balcony. Ben turned to look back at him with a wave of his hand before returning his gaze to the water. 

The gang had made their way back to the house to clean up and get ready for dinner. Ben and Kaydel were in charge of cooking that night, despite the strong buzz the poor girl was feeling for the third night. 

This was her Spring Break, and if she wanted to spend the entire time buzzed, then the fuck she would. 

They prepared a delicious seafood meal and served their friends on the back patio where fairy lights hung all around them. Drinks were served, made by yours truly (Finn), and laughter ensured. Finn mocked Poe for falling right asleep after his third drink and imitated what he looked like, earning a grilled shrimp to the face from the subject of the joke himself. Poe popped right back at how the only reason why he woke up was the sound of the not-so-subtle couple necking each other, then proceeded to turn around in his chair, wrap his arms around himself, and act like he was kissing someone. 

Laughed roared in the open air from the group of friends as Finn and Rose flushes ferociously, Rose trying to hide her face in her napkin. Ben took an ice cube from his water and pelted it at Poe, who shrieked. 

Rey helped Ben clean up whenever they had finally finished their dinner, drying the dishes as he washed them, and put them away in their proper place. The two kept in close contact with the other, not speaking about the fact that they were touching. Ben refused to bring it back up, afraid for Rey’s sake and it would ruin the dynamic between them for the rest of the trip. 

Rey was glad for it for now. But she knew they needed to address what was happening between them soon. She just wanted to linger in the goodness for a little longer before it ended. 

So now, Ben was standing alone outside until Poe interrupted his thoughts. 

“Everything good?” The shorter man approached him, taking the spot to Ben’s left to lean against the railing as well. 

“As always,” Ben responded. “And you?”

“Peachy, and perfectly fine with that,” Poe responded with a lazy grin. He held a drink in his hand, shaking it a little to indicate that it played a part in his choice of words. Ben chuckled and ran a hand through his dark hair. 

“Dinner was great tonight, by the way. I honestly can’t remember if we told you at the table.”

Ben laughed quietly. “Thanks, Poe. I’m not surprised by that after the show you put on for us.”

“Oh, so you liked it, uh?” Poe smirked playfully at the taller man. “Would you like me to give you one more,” he asked as he started to turn around, wrapping his arms around himself. 

“No, no thank you,” Ben pleaded of his friend. “Save it for one of the ladies you find on the beach.” 

“Hey, I’m not that sleazy, jackass,” Poe said with a point of his finger. “I may try my hand at finding the one of my dreams, but that show is for prime membership only. Somehow you fuckers got a promo code.”

They both shared a laugh that felt so familiar between them. After a few moments, they returned to silence until Poe spoke up. 

“Can I ask you a question,” Poe said as he turned his body to face Ben. Ben’s eyebrow quirked up as his eyes met Poe’s dark ones. 

“Yeah, of course.”

“What’s going on between you and Rey?”

Ben froze. He wasn’t prepared to answer this question, like ever. He didn’t even know how to answer the question for himself!

“Nothing is going on,” he replied, averting his gaze to his clasped hands. 

“Nothing at all? Not even a little bit of anything?”

“No. Absolutely nothing.”

“C’mon, Ben. I see the way you look at each other. You don’t think that we haven’t seen you guys brush hands, or like tonight with the dishes. Like that walk you guys took this afternoon, huh? How can you say nothing is going on?”

“I just have to, Poe,” Ben sighed frustratingly as he pushed himself off the railing to stand up straighter. His fists were balled and he pulsated the muscles in them to keep himself calm. He had mulled over this same question to himself for months, fucking months. Rey was like a bath of sunshine to him and all he wanted to do was experience every last ray of light she poured out. He wanted to hold her, know her, and love her freely. He wanted to give her the world and more but she wouldn’t let him. 

“Why, Ben?” Poe spoke softly after a moment so his friend could calm himself down. He could tell Ben was just as frustrated as they all were for the two. Poe saw how much he poured himself in trying to win Rey’s affection. Ben’s efforts continued to not be perceived as serious by the stubborn girl, and none of them understood why. He, Finn, Rose, and Kaydelall agreed Ben and Rey were the missing pieces to each other’s metaphorical puzzle, or essentially the other’s twin flame. They knew about the nights at the library because neither of them are good at making sure every part of their surroundings are clear. 

Ben stared out to the water with sad eyes. “I don’t know. I have all these strong feelings for her, Poe. And I’ve told her that and she still refuses to acknowledge them. She shuts me down every time I bring it up, but I know she feels it too. Last night—,” he said before he stopped himself. 

“What happened last night,” Poe asked seriously, leaning against the railing. 

“We, um.” Ben pauses to choose his words carefully. “We had dinner together. Made it together, actually. Then we had a couple of drinks and I made the stupid decision to ask her why we kept dancing around the discussion.”

“What did she say,” Poe responded again. 

“Well, two things happened.” Ben released a sigh. “She first told me that she didn’t do these things with anyone else. And, that friends are supposed to do that, and not expect strings attached when they fulfill their responsibilities.”

“Geez.”

“I fucking know. I don’t get it.” Ben ran a hand through his hair. “She told me that she didn’t do these things with you, or Finn, or any other guy. That I’m the only one she enjoys doing this stuff with—making dinner together, the late night drinks, the-the trips to the art studio because she asked me for help—everything.”

Ben could have sobbed because of how much he loved her. He loved her so much, so much that there’s a piece of her in his entire life, and not just because they’re friends. Something has connected him to her, and it hurt him to know that she wouldn’t allow it to happen. 

And seeing her break down into a panic attack when trying to and her why she didn’t want to be with him—

Ben swallowed the large lump in his throat, eyes burning with unwelcomed tears. He didn’t want to cry. He couldn’t cry. 

But he would cry a river for her. 

“What happened, Ben,” Poe asked softer than ever. 

Ben took a second to compose himself, clearing his throat. “I got frustrated, and before I could ask anything else, she went into a panic attack.”

“Seriously?”

The taller man nodded, staring blankly out to the water. “I got her calmed down through grounding techniques. Afterwards, we didn’t talk about it. She threw herself into my arms and,” he stopped again, not knowing how much else he should reveal. 

“And?”

“She asked me to sleep with her for the night.”

Poe’s eyes widened in shock, even more so than the shock he was in from hearing this story. 

“So you guys—slept together,” he repeated slowly, trying to connect the dots. 

“We didn’t fuck, Poe. I’m not that heartless. Even if I wanted to, she wouldn’t let me touch her.” 

“So you guys just slept.”

“Yes. Just slept.”

“No kissing?”

“No,” Ben replied quickly, shaking his head with furrowed eyebrows. 

“And now things seem to be easier than ever, but you guys haven’t talked about it.”

“Mmhm.”

“And I guess it’s because you don’t want to scare her.”

“It fucking terrified me, Poe. Seeing her so scared, and I had no idea what caused it. I can only guess it was me.”

“I don’t think it was you, Ben.”

“How? It happened the minute I turned my back, after I got upset.”

“Rey’s got thoughts too, bud,” Poe reminded him. “She’s got troubled feelings and emotions too. All that I know is that she’s got some severe trust issues when it comes to her having feelings for people.”

“How do you know this,” Ben looked at him skeptically. 

“Finn and her have this brother and sister relationship, so like, she goes to him when she needs ‘brotherly’ advice. One of the times that I saw them hanging out, she was vaguely telling him that she was protective of things like that. He kept asking her why, and she refused to tell him, cryptically saying that ‘the past leaves scars and claw marks that no paint could cover.’”

Ben could have let out another sob for the poor girl. The girl he loved more than life itself. There’s no telling what she experienced in her past that caused her to keep herself closed off and untrusting of letting people get close to her. Not only could have cried, he could have beat something. Someone. 

“I just don’t get it. How could someone not want something good for themselves when they’ve only experienced the terrible?”

“I don’t know, Ben. As someone who’s also got a minorly troubled past, I have a hard time believing in true love. My uh,” he paused, letting out a silent laugh with a pained grin. “My parents left me to live with my grandparents when I was eight.”

Ben didn’t say a word, but only looked at his friend with sad eyes. 

“I loved my grandparents. Hell, they’re my fucking parents and I’ll defend them until I die. But my parents were wild. My grandmother calls my dad their ‘wayward son.’ All they wanted to do was party, smoke, and drink until they couldn’t feel their bodies. However, not with each other. I grew up watching my parents go in and out with different people all the time. I never knew what love was. I never knew that two people could feel these things. Not until my grandparents saved me.

“It was them who taught me that true love can exist between people. But there is a part of me that believes it can’t happen to me. So that’s why I put up this flirty, bachelor persona so that I don’t have to face the fear of whether or not something will become serious with someone.”

Ben nodded his head, furrowing his eyebrows as his heart broke for his friends. He hates hearing their heartbreak, but it just emphasized how each person has their share of trauma, of history. 

“Look, bud,” Poe released a breath that sounded a little relieved. “I didn’t say that to make you more depressed or make your position less important than mine. But know that trauma like abandonment or unfaithfulness can make the walls around someone’s ability to commit very high and made of steel. You’ve got to promise her that you’re not going anywhere. Not just because you understand commitment, but because you love her, love the idea of committing to her, and love everything she brings aboard that train ride. Baggage and all. Even if you don’t know about it, you still have to make her understand that you are willing to help her carry those bags and are there to help when she wants to unpack them.”

Ben understood the weight of Poe’s words, and was thankful for the words he could provide—the direction he could give. 

Loving Rey had been something he was proud to admit. It was something he was willing to commit his life to. Everything in his life had her touch in it. His heart was hers and there was nothing she could say or do to convince him otherwise. 

Ben had to get her to understand this. And that’s exactly what he planned to do.

With a pat on the taller man’s shoulder, Poe gave Ben a friendly grin. “I’m sorry things are tough right now emotionally. But I know you’re going to prove it to her. Somehow you always do.”

“Thanks, Poe. Thanks for sharing so much with me.”

“No problem, pal. Now, I’m going to go sleep off this buzz. I’ve had a lot to drink and it’s finally hitting. The second bed in the room is yours whenever you need it. Night,” he smirked and parted with his friend, carefully making his way back through the back glass doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Oh man was this chapter one I was so excited to post! The angst rises...meeeeep.
> 
> I love backstories like these. I love building character exposition like none other. But we will return back to our sweet little family after this set of chapters. 
> 
> We have to know where they’ve been to see where they’re going! :) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Thank you for all the reads, kudos, and love for the story! 
> 
> All my love! X


	11. Porcelain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “when I fell to my knees  
> to sew the damage shut,  
> I couldn't believe...  
> a bright, staggering light  
> came flooding into me  
> from out of the seams.
> 
> so I reached deeper in  
> and pulled my whole world wide open,  
> and for each broken mile, a billion  
> miracles happen at once  
> in everything... in everything.”  
> \- Porcelain; Sleeping at Last  
> —
> 
> Spring Break for the gang has been nothing short of incredible—all up until everything came crashing down.

Thursday of Spring Break 2012

The last several days had been nothing short of relaxing for the six friends. Sand was everywhere, tans were forming, and drinks were experimented and created nonstop. This was something Rey had only known Spring Break to be like in movies, and now she was actually getting the experience. 

All of them had been some form of intoxicated or highly inebriated by Thursday. Today was the day they had planned to get up and get going, but yet here they all slept until nearly ten. 

Many restaurants had been visited, bars had been scoped, and dance floors had been danced. It wasn’t a club, but it was definitely an outdoor lounge that lived beneath many sparkling, colored hanging lights. They went searching for seashells, wave boarding, spent hours by the shoreline and played many games in the water. Rey never knew of this life, but she refused to ever let herself forget it. 

They had the time of their lives, dancing with each other to the Caribbean music and live bands, drinks in their hands and splashing on them if they became clumsy. Rey and Ben ended up dancing a little too close for the unspoken tension between them, but when alcohol was involved, neither of them remembered why they were in that spot anyways. 

Ben felt like he was at a college party that never ended. The days had been short, but only to precede the night to come. They all spent the majority of their time on the back patio dancing to songs they’d compiled for the beach, drinking until their lips were numb, and falling all over one another until the wee hours of the morning when they weren’t out on the town. This is the break they needed. This is the fun they all desired. 

Thank god for Kaydel’s parents’ time-share. 

Rey was one of the first people awake that Thursday morning, tiptoeing through the dark bedroom she and Kaydel shared. At the beginning of the week, they all had agreed to let Finn and Rose take the master, since they were the only two that were together. She and Kaydel slept in a full-sized bed in the second bedroom, while the guys took the twins in the third room. Despite trying to keep the house in order, their rooms were as disheveled as they were from their alcohol-heavy nights. 

Rey was in a new pajama set that she had bought for the trip—a set of shorts and button up shirt that were retro pink, cream, mint, and teal thick stripes on them. Her hair was in a messy bun, something thrown up at some point during their wild night and slept on. She was sure she looked atrocious, but damn if she didn’t need tea, like she had every morning. 

Padding her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, Rey saw someone who was sitting outside on the balcony, a book in hand. Ben, she instantly guessed before she could really see the mass of dark hair. With a smile, she crossed the wooden floor to the stove, starting up the kettle with warm water. While it was starting to boil, she went to the glass back door, sliding it open to peek her head outside. 

“Hey, you,” Rey greeted him, a grin on her face as the man peered up to her. He was not wearing a shirt yet, but in dark cotton shorts, something he had worn to sleep. His hair was wavier than ever, thanks to the sea salt that lingered in his dark locks. 

Rey thought he looked magnificent. 

He gave her a lazy grin in return. “Hey you,” he mimicked, light brown eyes looking golden in the rising sun. 

“How long have you been awake?”

“A couple of hours. I went for a run and showered. Now I’m just wasting time until everyone wakes up.”

“You went for a run?” Her eyebrow quirked up in suspicion, her body now halfway out of the sliding glass door as she leaned back against the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. 

“Yes.”

“After last night?”

“After every ‘last night.’”

Rey gaped at him. Why would he make himself get up early and go work out? He looked incredible, she had to admit, trying not to stare at his sculpted chest and even more fit torso. She had seen it a number of times since being here, but man was this something different. Did he want to kill himself with a hangover?

“How are you not in any pain? You drank nearly as much as I did,” she accused, furrowing her brow as she finally let her eyes lingered on his. 

“Kind of false? You guys were so trashed that you never knew if I had one drink or multiple. And besides,” Ben said casually, turning his gaze back to skim over a page in his novel. “I’m not a lightweight.”

Rey’s mouth dropped once more, this time in disbelief as he called her out. It was true, she was more of a lightweight with Rose and Finn, but how dare this superhuman and somehow inhuman man indirect her like that, to her face? 

“Mind you, being a lightweight is actually great because it doesn’t take long to start having a good time.”

“Oh, trust me. Not being a lightweight has its perks, like watching you all act like fools as your blood transformed into pure alcohol.”

She had to give it to him, they were fucking dumb when they were drunk. Kaydel and Poe had already been drinking for most of the day—responsibly, Rey would add—so they were already buzzed before they started. Finn was one of the worst drunks because of his gangly body just not knowing when he took up too much space. 

But they all were still young adults who deserve to enjoy themselves. 

“Would you like tea,” she asked to change the subject, clearly understanding that she had lost that battle. Ben smiled at her offer. 

“Sure. Do you know how I like it?”

“Always,” she confirmed as she stepped back inside the house, closing the sliding door behind her. 

Rey loved morning conversations with Ben. Of course, it was close to midday, but nevertheless it was morning. When they would be together, they always woke up around the same time and shared a cup of tea or coffee. Rey always kept a container of his favorite in the pantry of her apartment. It was a gesture she enjoyed doing, and loved seeing it next to her boxes of tea. 

The young woman padded her way back to the stove where the teapot was whining. Carefully lifting the pot, she moved it over to a cool burner so she could get two cups. She prepared both of them their individual teas with a thousand thoughts on her mind. 

This was so natural to her, she thought, making tea for two instead of one. There were a number of times Ben would come, midday or evening, and have tea with her. She knew his usual recipe and which tea flavor he preferred. If she didn’t have it, he took what she would have. 

She realized as she was nursing the bag in the hot water was how much joy she found in this. It was just tea, for God’s sake and here she was feeling like it meant something more. 

Maybe she did want it to mean something more. 

Not if she wanted to get hurt, another part of her hissed. Rey was constantly at war inside her mind over what she felt for Ben. There were times where she let her walls down to just rest the waters, like she was doing here in Florida. But there were times where she had closed him so far off. She couldn’t risk being vulnerable. No way was she going to put so much faith in someone just for them to break her heart. 

But was Ben the type to break hearts? He hadn’t seemed to have kept a girl on his arm since she had met him. And he never disrespected her, something she believes his mother instilled in him. Ben treats her like she’s the only girl in the world, and knows just how decipher the difference of giving her the attention she wants and what she needs. 

She felt like she didn’t deserve any of it, but Ben knew how to give it to her in a way that let her know she deserved it. 

Finishing up with their teas, Rey shoves the thoughts away as she took the warm mugs outside on the balcony end table next to where Ben was seated. 

The man had gone back to reading his book, deeply invested in what was being said on the page. Rey took a look at her surroundings and realized the sky was gray. It looked like it could storm as the water looked various shades of navy and gray as well. None of that bothered Ben as he sat outside casually, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore as background noise. 

“I’m glad that we chose today to be the day to do something downtown. I’d hate to spend a day cooped up inside.”

Ben looked up from his book and over to her, finally realizing she had returned and reached down for his tea. 

“I know. It’s a great day to do something inside, and whatever you all have planned sounds just right.”

“Are you not coming with us?” Rey’s expression distorted into something mixed between disappointed and confused. Ben pressed his lips into a like after he took a sip from his cup. 

“I don’t think so. Finn and Poe have the Kennedy Space Center they want to see, and you ladies want to do some sort of shopping. I think I might stay here and read, maybe catch up on some work.”

“Ben,” Rey chuckled, pulling her legs up to her chest in the chair. “It’s Spring Break. Stop working yourself to death. This is why we all came here to get away from all that silly mess.”

Ben sighed. “I know, but,” he trailed off, biting the inside of his lip for a moment and looking out to the dark water. “I have a phone call interview this afternoon.”

Rey’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as she clasped her warm cup between her hands. “Oh! An interview? What for?”

“A theatre company based in New York,” he said simply, not meeting her eyes. “They asked me to send in a couple of my manuscripts in January. Now, they want to speak with me about premiering one them in the fall.”

“Oh my god, Ben,” Rey laughed with glee as she stared at the talented and intelligent man. “That’s incredible! That’s—that’s so amazing. You could be put on Broadway!”

“I don’t think that’s likely to happen,” he said with a sheepish grin, his face glowing light pink. “But thank you.”

Rey shook her head with a smile plastered on her face. This silly boy, never one to brag about his accomplishments, let alone mention them. Ben wasn’t one to be outspoken about a lot of things anyway, especially not about himself. Every good thing that he encountered for himself was always mentioned with a casual simplicity as if it were just something else floating in the wind. Like another leaf falling to the ground. Rey couldn’t stand that he was so shy about himself. She knew his heart ached to celebrate the successes of others, or help them with their success. 

Her biggest hope was that he could see himself the way she sees him. 

But how did she really seem him?

Ben was someone who stood out from the rest in her eyes. Someone who was reserved and content in his own little world, but with the biggest heart for those he loved and admired. He spent most of his time doing some sort of selfless act that required no less than his best effort. He lived with the most perfect balance of authority and surrender that Rey had ever seen. There was passion in everything he did, everything he touched, and everything he created. 

This was the very first person in Rey’s life that she sensed security in. So why was she so afraid to allow herself to go beyond their friendship? 

Was she scared of losing that? Losing her trust in him? Every time she asked herself these questions, she found the same non-fulfilling thoughts about not wanting to overstep, or make a mistake, or do something that he wouldn’t like, make him so angry that he would leave—

Was she scared of him seeing her differently?

What if Ben’s image of her became distorted so badly that he would leave her like they did—leave her behind because she was a bother, because she was imperfect and not the typical girl, or even because she was a mistake her parents tried to fix by dropping her off somewhere that she could never call home—

“Rey?”

Ben’s strong voice said quietly, shattering any train of thought she had been focused on. She turned her gaze to him, processing the look of concern that rolled like waves over his features. Sitting his book down on the end table between them, he turned his body towards Rey and reached out to brush his soft hand against her cheek. 

Rey blinked a few times before she finally came to her senses, realizing her cup was clasped between white knuckles, tea having gone cold. How long had she been thinking? And when did she start crying? Ben’s thumbs dried the tears escaping her eyes as she looked at him like he was her lighthouse in a storm. 

“Is everything alright,” he asked cautiously, scanning every part of her face and head until he reached her toes against the cushion of the balcony chair. Confirming that she wasn’t physically harmed, his eyes drew back up to meet hers, the tears slowly ceasing their production. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m quite fine; I didn’t even realize I was crying,” she gave a weak laugh as on of her shaking hands went to wipe the rest of her tears away. 

After a quiet moment, Ben spoke up.  
“You know you can talk to me about whatever that mind of yours keeps conjuring up, right?” 

“I know, and I’m very grateful. It’s just,” she released a heavy sigh. “Some things are harder to bring up than others.”

“And holding it in and hiding away is any better?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“But it’s what you’re doing.”

“Maybe it is what I’m doing,” Rey snapped at his interrogation. How dare he try and pry his way into her personal issues? She was so grateful for the offer of wanting to talk to him. But she didn’t want to. Why would she want to tell her only true friends, the ones she cares about more than anything in the world, why she was so fucked up? Why bring them down with the depressing life she had to lead? If she wanted to share it with them, she would have, but that’s a version of herself that she left behind in England. 

Instead of dwelling there, she moved here to start her own life where she didn’t have to remember those feelings of loneliness or not feeling like she was enough. Never would she have to fight for the approval of someone, because it was just going to be her and her work. 

But why the ever loving hell did Ben have to worm his way right through the walls she built for herself? 

“But it’s better than having to relive everything and speak it back into existence.”

The older man’s eyes softened sadly as she closed herself off once again to him. His efforts to allow her to feel safe with him failed once more, just like the time before that, and every other instance. It was a never-ending battle trying to get her to be genuinely authentic with him. There were times where he caught her slipping into her own mean thoughts, like today, and times where he thought he saw a glimpse of who she truly was deep down. Instead of wanting to discuss it, she covered it all up, as if it were a malicious murder she was trying to wipe her hands of. 

It frustrated the fuck out of him. And one day, he knew he might fight his last battle with her, and lose.

Did she want to win these things? Did she enjoy shoving him farther and farther away from himself? Even after he devoted so much of himself and his time trying to prove to her that she was so much more than just a friend, or a girl who stood against the standard for women? He tried to show her everything he saw of her, but it failed every time. 

And he was just about damn sick of it. 

“Okay, Rey. You win,” he admitted defeatedly, rising from his chair and jerking his hands away from her. Grabbing his book and cup from the end table, he crossed in front of her to go back into the house. With a slam of the sliding glass door, which required much of his strength, Rey flinched in her seat, cold tea splashing against her tanned knees, and her heart in the pit of her stomach as she realized the damage that had been done. 

—

“Let’s get this show on the road,” Poe exclaimed with a clap of his hands together, rubbing them in excitement. Everyone was now awake and ready for the day: Finn was replacing the batteries in his camera (“You best believe that I am going to take so many photos—you never know when we could come back!), Rose was sliding on her short wedges, Kaydel, making sure she had directions to the stores that they were going to, and Rey on the loveseat alone, fingers fidgeting with anxiety. It had been two hours since Ben had stormed inside the house and no one had seen or heard from him since. 

“We’re gonna drop you idiots off on the playground, and then we’re going to head to the shopping strip not too far off,” Kaydel informed the guys who looked betrayed once their fate had been determined. 

“You’re going to desert us at the Kennedy Space Station? With no vehicle,” Finn said in exasperation while Poe stared at the girl with his hands now resting on his hips.

“Yeah, that’s what I said.”

“But don’t worry,” Rose consoled, standing up from where she was putting on her shoes. “I looked into what all you could do there and you’re going to want to be deserted there.”

“Really,” Finn said as he watched his girlfriend stride over to him. 

“Yes. You’re going to need all the time you can get. There’s a lot to do and tours to take. If you seriously need a ride, just call for a taxi.”

“Oh, a taxi adventure,” Poe said with a smirk. “I haven’t had one of those since the city.”

“You’re disgusting,” Kaydel ridiculed flatly, looking at the man with a blank stare. 

“Hey, watch where you’re throwing those accusations, Blondie,” Poe replied. “I never said it was that kind of adventure.”

“Sure, but knowing you, and seeing as to how you’ve interacted with every attractive female on this beach, I could only guess it was that kind, the only kind you ever have.”

“Woah, okay,” Rose interrupted with a forced smile, stepping in the crossfire between the two. “I think it’s time to go, don’t you think so, Finn?”

“Yeah, look at that time,” he said dramatically, looking at a nonexistent watch on his wrist. “Let’s go claim our seats in the car, Poe,” he finished, pulling the arm of his feisty friend. 

“Sounds like a plan. I think I’m going to take a seat in the back so that Kaydel can be promoted to my personal driver and taxi cabbie for the day.”

“I swear to god if you choose the seat next to mine, the car might not be the only thing hauling ass,” Kaydel threatened with a loud voice, stomping her way behind the two guys with the keys in her hand. Rose simply rolled her eyes and turned to the silent Rey sitting in the living area. 

“Are you ready, Rey?”

“Huh?” Rey’s head jerked towards the direction Rose’s voice sounded from, eyes slowly meeting hers.

“I said, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” she replied simply, standing up and crossing the distance between them both. “Rose, have you seen Ben lately?”

“No, I haven’t,” she said with a frown. “I know he’s staying back today, but I haven’t seen him since we’ve been awake.”

“Has anyone else seen him?”

“Well, Finn said he heard a lot of noise near their room, and went to check. All he told me was that Ben needed to go do some things on his own for a while, but never where,” the shorter girl replied with a small frown. “I’m sorry, Rey. But wherever he is, he can take care of himself. For goodness’ sakes, his mother is a strong woman and didn’t raise him to not be able to fend on his own.”

“Right,” Rey replied after a moment, still distracted in her own thoughts. 

“He’ll be okay. And you’ll feel better after you’ve shopped and treated yourself. Let’s go,” Rose said, smiling at her sweet friend and interlocking arms with Rey. With a forced nod, and a small grin, Rey agreed and off the two went to deal with the mess that awaited them in the car. 

—

It had been three hours since they left the beach house. No word from the boys, not any of them, and the girls couldn’t be further from worried. Except for Rey, who checked her phone ever ten minutes to see if Ben had messaged her. With every glance at the screen, her hope in things being okay withered away until she was left with nothing but loneliness. 

The one thing she only ever wanted to avoid with him. 

The girls were now in a top rated nail salon on the shopping strip, relaxing back in the reclining massage chairs as their feet soaked in the small tub in front of them. Kaydel had her head leaned back, eyes closed, Rey between her two friends, feeling more anxious than ever, and Rose looking at a magazine that was on the tray sitting next to her. 

They had done some damage, the three of them, while shopping. Kaydel and Rose had a sizable amount of bags compared to Rey (who was used to not buying much for herself, if anything at all). But the two shopaholics goaded the poor girl into treating herself a little extra today. They explained it was all in good reason, telling her she only goes shopping every four months for herself. 

So Rey’s bags consisted of a couple of new dresses she planned to wear out during their next trip to a restaurant, short floral skirts she could pair with a thin t-shirt, and (per Kaydel and Rose’s request) a few sets of silk and lacy lingerie. Rey’s face had flushed like a tomato when they coerced her into buying them, but slowly accepting the fact that she had every right to treat herself to this. 

After a few minutes of silence, Kaydel took in a big breath, and released it through her nose, not opening her eyes as she spoke to Rey. 

“I can feel how unsettled and conflicted you are. You’ve been like this all day. What’s going on?”

Rey looked over to her friend who had now opened one eye, staring at her questioningly. With a shake of her head, Rey responded. 

“Nothing. I’m fine,” she said simply. 

“Come on, Rey,” Rose said with exasperation riddled in her voice, dropping the open magazine in her hands down onto her lap. “You have been checking your phone all day—,”

“Almost as if you’re expecting a message from someone,” Kaydel interrupted with sarcasm dripping from her voice. 

“And before we left, you were sulking and sucked up into your own head.” Rose’s voice had sounded more stern with each accusation she made against Rey. She was right, Rey had been acting this way, like a pouty child who had their candy taken away from them. 

“What the hell is going on? We’ve seen when you get stuck dwelling on those mean thoughts of yours. This is what happens every time,” she finished. 

“And honestly, Rey—we’ve been best friends for nearly two years now and yet you still think we can’t see when you’re hurting. Or whatever you’re hiding up there in that fucking brain of yours. Quite honestly, we’re done with you refusing to tell us what’s up there. We’re not going to leave here, or do anything else until you tell us everything.”

“What? Kaydel, Rose, you can't do that—,” Rey protested until Rose spoke over her, pointing a demanding finger her direction. 

“No, Rey. This has gone on for far too long. You’re spending your entire Spring Break an emotional mess for no reason. We’ve been your friends forever yet you still refuse to trust us. Kaydel is right. We’re not doing a single thing until you tell us everything.”

Rey was silent for a moment, flushing furiously with guilt. They had all been friends for a long time, and yet she hadn’t even trusted them, the two who had understood her back and front, with this mess. 

Releasing a heavy sigh, Rey looked at both of them. “Here in this nail salon?” 

“I don’t see any reason why not,” Kaydel shrugged, staring down the girl intensely. 

—

At dinner that night, Ben was still a no-show. Rey’s anxiety had been nauseating up until this point. She told the girls everything. Everything she had bottled up inside her mind and her heart seeped out of her like molasses from a tree, tears pouring from her eyes. After their pedicures were finished, Kaydel and Rose comforted the poor girl, holding her close until she was okay enough to go pick up the boys. 

That car ride was awkward as Poe and Finn felt the tension in the air. Kaydel cut threatening eyes at Poe for most of the drive back to the house, and he understood it as to not push any further. 

Now, they sat at the back patio table, dinner having been finished a few minutes ago whenever Rose spoke up. 

“Guys,” she said with a lowered voice, not trying to cause any more tension than what they were all feeling. “I think Rey has something she wants to tell everyone.”

Both guys looked from Rose to Rey, who was sitting across the table from them, obviously in a fit of anxiety over what she had to say. 

They watched as Kaydel leaned over to whisper to her, consoling her nerves and reassuring that everything was going to be okay. After taking a deep breath, and a glance to the empty chair where Ben had resided for most of the week. 

“The reason why—,” she stopped, not knowing the right words to say. “What I’ve been—.”

She huffed out a frustrated sigh before making her mind up. She wasn’t going to let the fears and troubles of her past hold her back anymore. 

She was going to tell them. 

“When I was a child, I was abandoned by my parents. As far as I was told, they left the hospital merely hours after I was born. The staff could never get ahold of them, and they left without saying if I had any other relatives. So, I was taken to an ‘orphanage,’ for lack of a better term, and I grew up there amongst many different troubled children. However, unlike them, I had never known my parents. Mine hadn’t died nor left me on the doorstep. They just left. 

“I went to school like everyone else, and had been in and out of foster care. The families I ended up staying with could only take me for a short while. Eventually, as I grew up, I stopped getting chosen by families, and adoption was never on the table. I didn’t have a last name, a Mum, Dad, nothing. It was always just Rey.

“As I was in the last few years of secondary school, I worked my ass off at a local mechanic’s garage and with paintings my friend’s mother let me sell in her flower shop. But because things continued to get worse and worse, I made the decision to leave the country. Leave the place where I was abandoned, unloved, and unseen. 

“Somehow, I raised enough money to get myself across the Atlantic. My guidance counselor helped me get in touch with admissions office at our university and I was accepted with a number of helpful scholarships. By that Summer, I was on my way to start my new life with a fresh bank of opportunities.”

They all sat silent as she told them her story, leaving out a number of bigger details that her mind kept her hooked on to. After they all had a second to process this, Finn raised a question.

“What do you know about your birth parents, Rey?”

The girl blinked at him, eyes wide and full of nervousness. “Like I said, I don’t know anything about them. A lot of my files were empty because there was nothing on me except my birth certificate.”

“Do you have any desire to go back and find out who they are,” Poe asked eagerly once she finished. 

“No,” she answered quickly and sharply. But after considering that for a moment, she answered again. “Yes. Maybe?” A pause. “I don’t know. I haven’t ever envisioned myself returning back there.”

“Well, I’m not implying that you should,” Poe was quick to add. “I was just curious if you had ever considered it, now that you’re older and probably have the resources to get information.”

Rey was silent a moment before speaking. “It’s something I might consider one day. But right now, I’ve been away from the trauma for almost five years, and I’ve been so relieved. I don’t have to live that life here—I’ve got a family here, you guys! A place I call my home that’s all mine,” she said with sad eyes, looking to each of them sincerely. 

“Rey,” Kaydel asked softly. “What happened to you while you were in the orphanage?”

Rey swallowed a large lump in her throat, turning her gaze to her lap where her fingers were fidgeting with the cushion beneath her. “A lot of things. Bad things. Good things.”

“Like?”

Another pause. “I was beaten by some of the other kids. Dragged by my hair, cursed at by the caretaker. I was told that I would never amount to anything. Every foster family I joined never truly wanted me—they did it because they needed to meet the need for government assistance. Nowhere was a home. No one truly loved me. The one friend I had moved away my last year of school. I never had a mother’s touch or a father’s love. I grew up with rowdy ‘siblings’ who all told me they had it worse since they had known their parents.”

The five of them returned to silence after hearing Rey’s words. Just before Finn was about to ask another question, Rey interjected, tears brimming her eyes. 

“Nights were really cold there, at the house. Even though I had a bed in the room with all the other girls, I never felt safe sleeping there. I would go up to the attic and look out the circular window at the stars. I’d count them till sleep came over me, or what little I could get. 

“Loneliness was the only friend that would stay. I spent a lot of time alone away from the home. In the park, on one of the school’s play areas, downtown streets, shops, you name it. But I was alone. I was always left to be on my own. Children would stand me up as a cruel joke in primary school when they asked to meet me on the swings after school.”

She sniffled, laughing despite not feeling the humor. “I sat there till the sky was dark. They didn’t show. And they didn’t show the day after that, and so on. I gave up slowly after that, ever believing that I was worth remembering. Abandonment literally could have been my last name and I would have written it on every page I ever used. 

“So to try to ease that pain, I started drawing. I started sketching everything I saw, creating things and people to be my friends when I felt so lonely. Sometimes, I would write myself stories to read whenever I felt sad or scared of the night to come. 

“My drawings are the only things that could love me, and yet I was the only reason why they could do so.”

The group was silently shedding tears that they didn’t even know were there. Each of them were broken in some way or another by this story. Poe, having related to much of this, felt the most for her, and to their surprise was the one who was crying harder than the rest. Once each of them could compose themselves, Rose was the next to ask a question. 

“Is this why you’re so scared to say anything to Ben?”

“W-what?” Rey’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she looked at her dear friend. What did she know about her feelings for Ben? Did he say something to her? Did she accidentally let it slip to the girls on one of their many drunken nights here.

“Rey, it’s completely obvious,” Kaydel said flatly, never afraid to beat around the bush. “We know you care for Ben.”

“Yes, he’s one of my closest friends, like you guys are—“

“No,” Poe said, gazing at her with a look that Rey couldn’t quite comprehend. “Not like that. You love him, Rey.”

Rey was shocked speechless. How did her friends know this, before she could even decipher her own feelings for herself?

“The way you look at him,” Poe continued. “It’s different than how you look at us. The bond between you two is something only the two of you can understand, yet you still close yourself off from him.”

“It’s no secret that Ben has feelings for you,” Finn added after Poe. “He’s been trying to show you for months.”

“What do you mean, ‘been trying to show for months?’”

“What we mean, Rey,” Rose said seriously. “Is that Ben is just as much in love with you as you are with him. He doesn’t even have to tell us in order for us to know. The way he reveres you, keeps you so close to him at all times—it’s something that is completely natural and incredibly tender to him.”

“You’ve both never outright told us how you both feel, but you don’t even have to,” Kaydel said with a glance to Poe. The night he and Ben had talked on the balcony, he pulled her into his room and told her everything. Poe kept his gaze steady on the troubled girl. “We’ve known for a long time.”

“You have?”

Finn chuckled light-heartedly. “You both have never really known what ‘subtle’ means sometimes. It’s cute, but you guys outed yourself since that first night in the library.”

“Wait, how do you know about that,” Rey asked nervously.

“You don’t think we have eyes everywhere? We are friends with more people than just you guys,” Kaydel laughed.

Rey gasped. Her friends had known all along and they never said a word. Sure, they were probably aware that each of them spent one-on-one time with the other, but now she knew they were are of the other times. The more serious of times.

Then wait—did they know about last Thursday night?

“He loves you, Rey,” said Kaydel after Rey’s moment of realization was over. “I know him too well to know that he does.”

“But,” Poe finished the thought with a heavy sigh. “You’re afraid to love him back. You’re afraid of losing him. You’re afraid of this love because, as you have told us, you’ve never experienced it.”

Rey had no words. Her friends had pieced the puzzle together for her. She finally knew why she was so afraid to love Ben. She never truly understood what love was, and yet the two of them were dwelling in the heart of it beneath her very nose. Many nights she lay awake wondering what it would be like to feel that affection, to be loved by someone. Yet now, when she was experiencing it first hand, it felt natural. But she made it so complicated for herself because she didn’t want to risk losing him. If he saw her the way her parents did, then he would leave her. 

But he didn’t.

“Oh my god,” said Rey through an exasperated breath. She absolutely loved him, and she wasn’t afraid to admit it anymore. Telling her friends everything she had been hiding from them had actually helped. Why was she so afraid of telling them? Maybe because she never had anyone to confide in? Or anyone that cared?

Regardless, these were her friends. Her best friends, ones that wouldn’t leave her, or abandon her, or judge or hurt her because she might be different. They all came from their own troubles, yet they had hearts bigger than Rey had ever known.

And there was someone who was willing to give her his. Who had outright told her that he would. 

“I-I’ve got to find Ben,” she said desperately once she processed her thoughts. Her heart rate was going a thousand miles a minute and she couldn’t sit still. She looked around anxiously in the dark night, only finding the four people who helped her make the biggest decision of her life, sand, and the waves in the distance. 

“What are you doing just sitting there,” Rey demanded frantically as she pushed back her chair. Her friends followed suit, pushing back their chairs suddenly and jumping out of their seats to help their love-crazed friend find the boy of her dreams on this magical beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> I really hope you like this segment of our story. I’ve loved digging deeper into their history and fun times. I have one more chapter planned out for this moment in their lives before I return us back to our originally scheduled program.
> 
> Anyways,
> 
> Get ready for some twists in the next chapter! 
> 
> Thank you so much for your love for this story. I get so excited to post and write because of all the incredible responses.
> 
> All my love! X


	12. You Are Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ You're enough, you're enough, you are enough  
> These little words, somehow they're changing us  
> Let it go, let it go, you are enough  
> So we let our shadows fall away like dust.”  
> \- You Are Enough; Sleeping at Last  
> —  
> This may have not went according to Ben and the gang’s plan, but he sure did count it a victory by the smile on Rey’s face and lightness of her heart.

Thursday of Spring Break 

Ben had overheard everything. 

Thanks to Kaydel and her never-ending train of good ideas, she called him as Rey poured her heart out to her friends. 

His eyes were glued to the waves of the dark ocean as silent tears rolling down his face while Rey told her story She finally felt brave enough to pour out her trust into her friends. This had been something that he had wanted forever—Rey’s complete and utter trust.

But did he want it like this? 

Over the course of listening, his mood rapidly changed from violently heartbroken to seething with rage just as fast as thoughts raced in his mind. 

How could anyone—seriously, who—be so cruel to that girl? To his girl, the one he loved more than life itself, who he would hang the Sun and Moon for—how? Why?

Trying to put himself in her shoes was hard, he had to admit. His mother and father played avid roles in his life, being the main two that inspired him to do everything with all that was within him. What if he had never known Han or Leia? Never received any love from them, or had been abandoned by them? It’s not like Rey had any extended family, like he did with his grandparents and uncle. She was utterly alone with no idea of where she came from and no idea of the unconditional love someone could have for another person.

And his heart broke at this realization. 

He listened closely as Rey included as much detail as she could bare, and to his friends’ questions for her. All he wanted—no, needed—to do was to hold her. Reach out and take her into his arms and protect her from all the chaos and evil in this world. Steal them away to a life where she had everything she ever wanted. Tear her away from that pain for good—and to bury it deep into this sand and leave it behind. 

However, he knew that her past made her into the person she is. Someone that’s so compassionate, so accepting and selfless. Rey knew what it was like to grow up lowly, depressed, and alone. But she never, ever, allowed her friends to know what that was like—Ben had witnessed instances of this, he recalled, connecting all the dots. Many a time did she invite Rose into her home when things were rough. She drove out to be with Finn once when he was at his lowest and felt like he couldn’t finish school. Begging for money or gifts was an act she refrained from, and she had a hard time allowing herself to be gifted in return. 

She was so passionate, understanding, feisty, and unlike anyone Ben had ever known. Her voice as hers and there was no fear that lingered there when she defended herself. But she accepted the opinions of others like a warm hug—something Ben had no clue how she had the patience for.

To him, she was the most hot-headed person he knew, other than his mother and partially himself. It never failed to get her fiery personality ablaze whenever it came to defending why she did something, or even when she advocated for a particular cause. And most of the time, most of this blossomed in her when Ben would teasingly challenge her.

This is the Rey he loved. The one who radiates brighter than the biggest star in the galaxy, not the one who hides away her deepest pain. 

But didn’t she willingly hide all of this from them for so long? Her trust in them was completely nonexistent until now, as she never breathed a word about these things to any of them. She shoved her past away with a lock and key, and pushed so many people away if they ever tried to reach it.

Yet, she did it for a reason. She was scared. She didn’t know. She’d never had the opportunity to open up to someone who would care so much for her. There was no one in her life then who could help her made her situation different if she told. 

From what Ben could understand, she was afraid of bestowing these horrible memories on her wonderful friends. She wanted to avoid the tensity and awkwardness, the overflow of tears, the anger, and whatever else could emerge. Ben inferred that there had been multiple occasions where she witnessed these negative responses in similar situations, and desired to protect so to not cause her friends grief. 

But what she truly didn’t understand is, as friends—if not more—they all agreed to carry the weight of the other. It’s what coins the phrase, “carry each other’s cross,” told Biblically. The six of them became friends in the first place to help each other pass a class. If that’s not “carrying a cross,” Ben wouldn’t know what would be. 

Just because it was just for a class doesn’t mean anything else after it mattered. They became close after that semester, literally committing their lives to each other. For almost two years now, they had the responsibility to love, trust, and help the other faithfully. 

Ben had to show her that he was more than willing to do this and so much else for that girl. 

He loved her. And he knew she did too. They all knew. 

—

Since that first day they started talking about their Spring Break vacation, the five of them had been discussing how to get Rey to admit that she had feelings for Ben. However, Ben wasn’t the biggest fan of this idea, but he was grateful his friends were aware of his perpetual struggle. 

They had known for so long about the two of them. They were completely aware that some kind of spark ignited just weeks after they had met for the first time. The two were never subtle about things, especially when their phone location was turned on and the nosy rag-tag group kept up to speed on them. 

Ben was the one always under fire after those dates, knowing that Rey was a harder cookie to crack. He would explain as much as he could, and was willing to, only adding to their restlessness for the potential couple. 

So, since that night in their favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant, the five of them came up with an idea to get Ben and Rey together. 

Except, things kind of went to shit when Rey poured her heart out all over the fucking table and Ben ran away like a misunderstood angsty teenager. 

The tension between the two definitely wasn’t part of the plan. Instead, they banked I’m the success of alcohol-induced scenarios where Ben and Rey could get more causal with each other (minus Ben’s awareness that this was the plan). Planning is what they spent their time doing on the nights that the two were not with them. Wednesday night, the sat around the back patio table under the fairy lights and tiki torches, discussing every possible effort to make this beach house Love Island.

As the trip continued, especially this chaotic day, everything kind of felt like a Nicholas Sparks novel as it dived deep into emotional torment and realization of mistakes. 

So now, Ben was sitting on a large wooden platform that rested towards the shoreline, but still close enough to the lights of the rows of beach houses. He stared out into the water, deciding not to move once Rey was on the hunt for him. As the group disbanded, Kaydel told him, in secret, to stay where he was and that they had the rest under control. He had no idea what she was referring to, but he trusted it. 

The waves were loud that night, just like the roar of emotions that coursed through his heart all day. He was so close to telling her how he felt, but the argument and her defensiveness almost made him want to throw in the towel—to tell his friends that their efforts were no longer needed. So he left before he could make an irrational decision, not letting anyone but Kaydel know his whereabouts. 

Some of the local stores and restaurants were his first stops, another was the pier that the gang wanted to go to on their last day. He looked around at the tents and displays on the large wooden deck, as well as the small carnival-type attractions that resides just above the water. 

Then, he made his way back to a quieter place, taking his phone call interview for a little while before returning home. He still didn’t want to see anyone, so he gathered a book and a drink, taking his leisure to somewhere in the sand, allowing himself to be alone with the words of a dead man and the thoughts of a live one. 

“Ben,” he heard a desperate voice call out from somewhere behind him. He couldn’t tell how far back the noise was because of the roar of the ocean, but he knew it was advancing quickly. 

He slowly turned his body around to see her silhouette marching toward him with a gusto he hadn’t seen before. 

“Benjamin Solo,” Rey said angrier, yet her voice still dripping in desperation as her muscular legs pushed her against the sand. Ben could only stare at her in admiration as the girl of his dreams stormed her way to him. 

“Where the hell,” she said between breaths when she approached. “Have you been? All day?”

“I’ve been here, and around,” said Ben casually yet cautiously, not knowing the extent of her anger. He was right in doing so because her eyes flashed fury under the moonlight. 

God, she was ferociously beautiful. 

“Around?” She spat the word out like it was poison. “You’ve been around?”

“Yes,” Ben said cautiously.

“Seriously? I worried about you all fucking day, and you still have the audacity to say ‘around,’ like it’s absolutely nothing? You bloody Tosser!” 

Rey was shaking with anger now. “Did you even let someone know where you were?”

“Rey, I—,” he started before she interrupted. 

“No. I changed my mind, I don’t want you to speak,” she said with a bitterness to her voice. “I’ve got a thousand things to say to you and a thousand voices in my own head that keep fucking screaming at me to—shit, all because you ran off and no one could find you, and-and we were fighting—.” 

Tears were brimming in her eyes now as she released some steam. Ben had never seen her this angry, especially not with him. Running away from them probably wasn’t his best idea, especially since they were in a random place, and Rey having never been somewhere like this, it terrified the hell out of her.

Ben could have held his own, she would admit. But having him wandering around for nearly twelve hours had her nerves set on edge.

What if something happened to him? 

What if he never came back, like her parents didn’t—

Rey forced herself to take a deep breath, closing her eyes in attempt to get herself to calm down. Ben sat on the platform silently, allowing her to release her anger, really taking it like a champ. He knew he half-way deserved her being worried, but there was a fervor in her furious tone that, to Ben, indicated that there was more than just being worried about his whereabouts in her mind.

Except Rey couldn’t calm herself because he overwhelms her so damn much. Everything about him, and she loved him all the more for it.

This was the first time she had ever felt so strongly for someone, and like hell she was going to let her fear rule over her life anymore. 

“I love you,” she blurted out. “I love you, I love you, I love you.“ Rey was breathless, overtaken by how much she felt for this stupid boy, this lovely, troublesome man. “I’ve loved you since those silly conversations we would have in the most weirdest of places. I have loved you since those long nights in the art studio when our hands, covered in god knows what, touched and brushed against each other.”

Her eyes bore deep into his nervously but full of a fire Ben hadn’t ever recognized. She tried to brush her hair out of her face from the reckless wind sticking them to her unknown tear stains. But as she tried, she become more frustrated with it by the minute. 

“These last several months have been the best part of my life. Ever,” she gasped, tears burning her eyes once again. ”Growing up was horrible in England. My parents abandoned me for an orphanage to take and terrorize me into being afraid for my life, being lonely, feeling unloved and unwanted, everything a child should never have to experience. 

“Moving here was the most liberating thing I’ve ever done. But it comes second to loving you.”

Oh, how Ben itched, yearned, to reach out to her. But he knew she wasn’t finished. 

“Loving you is something I could have never allowed myself to admit because of how terrified I was for you to never see me as the same and abandon me like they did. Keeping my walls high protected me from ever experiencing that, but instead, it hurt us even more. And I’m sorry.

“You have loved me in such a way that felt so natural. I had no idea that this is what love is. I never knew. I never knew love until I met you, Ben Solo.”

They both stood there silently, Rey’s nerves all burned out, yet she still shook from the utter shock her body was experiencing. She released everything that was on her chest, and Ben took it in stride. He took it with a grace she never expected. He listened to her. He stayed to hear her out, never uttering a word. 

But now, his eyes were the ones that were speaking volumes of desire that she had only seen when he divulged in his work, but this time she knew it was meant for her. 

“And since I love you so fucking much, you can’t,” Rey added, shoving his upper body with a weak push and a deep breath. “You can’t go wondering off in a place no one really knows about. You can’t leave. You just can’t.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Ever,” said Ben seriously, sliding off of his place on the platform and pulling her into his strong arms. 

He held her for what felt like the first time ever. In a way, he was. She had expressed so much to him that he felt like she transformed into something beautiful—something warm and trusting.

Ben’s arms were her safe place. His hold was her shield. His body was her armor. This is the place she wanted to dwell in forever, and she was no longer afraid of that. With tears pouring down her cheeks, she sobbed into the material of Ben’s thin shirt. She clutched onto him for dear life, once again, but this time in gladness for his presence. A gladness for being able to tell him how she really feels, for finally being confident in trusting him.

For being able to love him without fear; fear of being unloved. She pushed so many people out who told her they loved her, never believing them. But now, she knew. She felt their love.

Ben rubbed his thumb against her waist in soothing motions, pressing his lips against the top of her hairline. Oh, he loved this girl. He loved her more than anything. 

After a few moments like that, they both took a deep breath and turned their faces towards each other. And in an instant, like it was an instinct, their bond was sealed as their lips pressed together for the first time. 

Ben kissed her lovingly, lips desperate to prove to her that he was hers. He was all hers from this day on. Rey reciprocated, moving her lips against his in natural motions. She poured everything she had into their kiss, deepening it with every strong wave of passion that filled her body. Her hands were cupping his face, thumb caressing his high cheekbone gently the more they started to sweetly peck their lips together. 

Their foreheads pressed together as they stood there in the moonlight. With their eyes closed, they breathed in each other’s bliss, holding each other in an embrace that radiated warmth, a place Rey would love to stay forever. Ben kept her close to his body, as close as he would for the rest of the days to come. 

“I love you, Ben,” Rey professed in the small space between them. “I love you more than anything in this world. And I’m sorry for being fussy with you. You really scared the absolute shit out of me.”

“I love you too, Rey,” Ben confirmed with a laugh, studying every detail of the girl’s, smiling face. “I’m flattered that I crossed your mind and your worries.”

Rey scoffed, releasing a heartfelt chuckle as Ben’s teasing response. And even with this little interaction, she was beginning to embrace that this is how they were. This is how they are together, never too serious, but never too floozy. Simple, extraordinarily easy. 

“In all seriousness, sweetheart,” Ben said casually, sending butterflies soaring in Rey’s stomach as he used the term of endearment so cooly. “I promise you, I will spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I do.”

She giggled lightly, running the back of her fingers through the ends of his dark hair. He continued to shower her with ways he was going to do just that as she held him to her protectively, as if the world was going to steal him from her. 

But she knew, deep down, that the world wasn’t going to win this time. 

—

As the two of them made their way back towards the beach house, Ben’s arm draped across her shoulders as hers wrapped around his waist, the house looked drastically different than how Rey left them merely thirty minutes ago. 

There was a path of rose petals making a trail towards the back patio, which was now decorated with lanterns and flowers of all kinds. Candles were the only source of light from the wooden deck apart from the few strands of fairy lights. A speaker had been brought out, which was now slowly playing music Rey realized were piano ballads. 

The couple stood in shock at the sight, Rey taking in a quick breath of air as her eyes glanced over everything. It was beautiful, she thought to herself as she slowly started to approach, tearing herself from Ben’s side. It was like she was in a trance with the beauty, of the romance she had never experienced before. 

Ben followed her up the trail, still looking at everything before his gaze landed on her. Rey was almost frolicking through the sand and rose petals, eyes peering wide at all the romantic decor. She was entranced by all the decorations, but he thought she was even more enchanting.

In all honesty, he had no idea this was planned. This was all in the hands of his stupid, sneaky, yet steadfast friends. 

They were helping him get his girl one step at a time. 

“This—I’ve never seen anything like it,” Rey said in amazement, taking in everything as she ascended the wooden step to the patio. Ben trailed behind her with a grin, sliding his hands into the pockets of his shorts.

“Never?”

“I mean, in magazines, paintings—stuff like that, but never in person. This place looked entirely different when I left.”

“I guess some people just have a way with making things magical.”

“Did you do this?”

Ben’s cheeks flushed furiously as his hand scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “Not exactly? This part wasn’t my plan.”

“Wait, a plan?” Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion as her gaze turned to him. “What does that mean?”

“It means,” he said with a heavy sigh, closing the distance between the two of them. “They know how I feel about you. All four of them. They’ve known since nearly the beginning.”

Rey’s cheeks erupted into a hot flush as she looked to her fidgeting hands. Ben took a step closer to her, tilting her gaze back up to him gently with his hand. 

“Don’t worry. They grilled me about everything instead, but I only told them what I think they needed to know.”

“And that was?”

“That it really wasn’t any of their damn business. Eventually, I let it slip that I may or may not have had feelings for you.”

“Damn, so much trouble I have been for you.”

“More than you understand, sweetheart.”

How could just one word send her into a state of mush?

She looked away from him shyly, earning a chuckle from him and a tender kiss to her forehead. 

“But thankfully, this trip was entirely coordinated to be the way I was to ask for your hand. Courting wise, of course.”

“Courting!” Rey exclaimed into the night air with eyes wide with wonder and shock. “I didn’t realize we were back in nineteen fifty!”

“Well, it’s just the proper terminology. It’s better than me saying ‘to ask you out,’ half-assedly like some horny teenager.”

Rey tilted her head back with a laugh, closing her eyes. Ben thought she had never seemed so beautiful, so carefree, so light. 

It was a rebirth.

“I can’t believe you morons orchestrated this whole event, just for the sake of asking me to be your girlfriend,” said Rey, gesturing around to everything around them.

“I wouldn’t say that I technically asked you out yet, ma’am,” Ben teased, giving her a flirtatious grin.

“All this work and no profit? Someone’s off their game,” she tutted. 

“You must forgive me,” closing the distance between them, Ben took her hand in his gently. “I’ve been rather distracted with the view and it’s really thrown me off my rhythm.”

She giggled at him, her hazel eyes locking into the blissful look in his light brown ones, squeezing his larger digits in her hand. 

“Rey,” he said quietly. 

“Yes, Ben?”

He took a dramatic breath, looking up to the sky as he muttered the first part of his statement. “I’m only doing this for formalities, please be aware.”

Rey smiled once again. “Of course.”

“Because God forbid,” Ben continued, squeezing his eyes shut. “Our lives turn into a Nicholas Sparks novel.”

At that, Rey laughed aloud, forcing her hand to cover her mouth at her sudden outburst. Ben opened his eyes, leaning closer to her with a large smile on his face.

“My, how tragic would it be if it did become one?”

“Please don’t tempt me. Don’t threaten me with a good time, now.”

After sharing a moment, Ben returned to a tender seriousness as he kept his gaze on the girl in front of him. 

“Regardless if it did or not, I’d read that novel till the day I died. Sweet Rey,” he said. “Will you please be my girlfriend?”

Rey bit her bottom lip between her teeth, a grin blossoming across her features.

“Of course, Ben.”

With that, Ben bent down to lift her off the wooden patio, spinning her around in a single circle. Rey shrieked in delight as she clung to him, arms wrapped around his neck. 

Once he sat her down, Rey brushed her nose against Ben’s. Her heart felt much lighter being able to trust her friends—her sweet yet maniacal friends who she would go to the ends of the world for. And thanks to them, she was able to have the one thing she’d wanted forever: love.

Before they could comprehend it, the two of them were kissing again beneath the twinkling fairy lights as the music played softly. Then suddenly, out of nowhere with no context, they were spooked when the sound of popping filled the air. 

They jumped, Ben pulling Rey closer to him instinctively as they both looked up to the balcony above them. There stood all four of their friends, a bottle of champagne bubbling over in Poe’s hands and pouring onto the patio below. Rose pulled the threaded string to pop a confetti cannon with Finn as Kaydel hollered in delight. 

“We fucking did it!” Finn beamed as he head his hand up over Rose so that he could high five Poe. 

“They’re in love,” Kaydel shouted from the balcony, her voice surrounded with the hoots and hollers of the rest of them. “Now we can fucking celebrate!”

—

The rest of their Spring Break went perfectly. No more tears were shed, nor troubled emotions dwelled on as the Sun and the ocean washed their worries away. 

Ben and Rey, now assuming their positions as official ‘boyfriend and girlfriend,’ kept it simple. 

They were in love, and that’s how they liked to leave it.

Things between them remained very relaxed. They acted like they usually did around each other, except this time, both of them had emotional barriers torn down, or at least that’s what they were working on. Their interactions were consistent with how they were before—laying in the sand near each other, making each other tea, brushing hands and hips when they were cooking. 

Kaydel, Poe, Finn, and Rose watched them with a small amount of resentment. This much trouble just for those assholes to act like they normally do?

But they shrugged it off, considering that those two were both different themselves, and their relationship was bound to be just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Yay! Our first real backstory is complete! I had SO much fun writing these four chapters! 
> 
> My plan for the next few are probably more one-shot based, but then I might introduce a new plot line.
> 
> Please leave me your thoughts! I love hearing your thoughts on our favorite characters! 
> 
> All my love!


	13. Slowly, Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ We'll prove that we are strong,  
> Though our lines are bleeding through.  
> We are becoming whole, slowly now.”  
> \- Slowly, Now; Sleeping at Last  
> —  
> Ben and Rey have had a hell of a time trying to become parents, and they have proved the saying “the first year is the hardest” to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another warning I thought I’d mention in the beginning notes to those of you sweet readers who find these things triggering:
> 
> There is mention of death in this chapter. Especially involved in pregnancy. There is a brief mention of what that moment in the character’s story was like, but it is truly brief. Please read with caution and take care of yourselves. 
> 
> I am here for you if you ever need to reach out. <3

October 2014

Rey sat there, disbelief and utter shock bubbling in the pit of her stomach as she stared at the object in her hands. 

Pregnant.

Pregnant—it said pregnant. Was she dreaming? Was this really happening to her? Rey, someone who never had a family till now, pregnant? 

After so many months of trying, it finally said pregnant. 

But something in her chest seemed to make her feel like it was harder to breathe. She felt like she was drowning, or like walls were caving in around her. As if an elephant was standing on her chest (yes, she knew that this would ultimately kill her, but nonetheless, the weight was constricting).

Before Rey could realize it, she was hyperventilating. The edges of her vision were now dark, instantly warning her that her body was deprived of oxygen. Somewhere amongst the wild and menacing thoughts pounding in her mind, she was able to pull herself to the surface and began initiating her calm-down techniques. 

With her arms crossed over her chest like an X, the palms of her hands pressed soothingly against her shoulders—a technique Ben had demonstrated on her a number of times. She began repeating positive thoughts to herself, things that Ben had taught her to practice saying every morning, especially in her deepest trials. 

She smiled at the thought of her husband that floated into her mind, her breathing paced and slowly returning to normal. 

Oh, how she loved Ben. He was her world and everything in it. They had been married a little over a year, and it’s been nothing short of bliss. 

Becoming a mother was something she had dreamed about since she and Ben considered getting married. Ben had wanted this forever, not only because Leia would constantly pester him in when her grandchildren were to make an appearance. 

His deepest desire was not only to be a happily married man to the woman of his dreams, but to also be a father; he admitted his feelings Rey one night when they were in the warm space of their bedroom. It had been a particularly long day and the couple was getting ready for bed. 

—

December 2013

Rey sat on the edge of their soft mattress, rubbing lotion on her legs as her hair draped over her shoulder in longer waves. Ben loved it when she grew out her hair, but knowing his wife—god, he couldn’t get enough of that—she really didn’t need his opinion on what he preferred on her. 

Unless it was precedented. 

Ben was finishing up brushing his teeth as the thoughts dawned on him. They had been married for a little under year, and had experienced that “the first year is always the hardest” mantra almost to it’s last end, but he felt like they could take it a step further. Hell, they’ve known each other since 2010, and they were married in the May of 2013, one of Rey’s favorite times of year—the lilies were in full bloom then, and they were one of the flowers she tended to draw most often, so of course their wedding was in the Spring. 

He had been mulling over whether or not he should bring it up, especially since they’re still considered newlyweds and the pressure for them to start having children was high, mainly from people they worked with or elderly members of Ben’s extended family. 

It had become quite frustrating to have them comment on their marriage and potential children, but the two of them took the unwanted opinions with forced smiles and basic answers. After those interactions, Rey would have to throw her head into her pillow and scream out her frustration. When she would approach Ben, he soothingly massaged her shoulders, a blasé look in his eyes as he explained that this is how they always were with him. Rey would groan and drop her head against her husband’s chest, sighing with defeat as she accepted the fact that this was her life. 

She absolutely loved being married but damn—  
if those extended cousins of Ben’s asked her if she was still in her first trimester or not, or even giving her unwanted future parenting tips one more time...

“Ben, I can hear you thinking from all the way over here,” Rey called for her husband from her position on the bed. Ben turned his head towards her before deciding to leave the bathroom and enter into their private sanctuary—one of his favorite places in the world. 

He made his way over to his wife, grabbing the lotion from where it sat on the bed next to her. Going down into a crouching position, Ben indicated for Rey to lift her other leg onto his knee. Once she complied, he squirted some of the fragrant body cream into the palm of his hand and started to apply it to her skin in soothing motions. 

“I’m sorry Sweetheart,” he spoke with a dulcet tone in his voice. “I didn’t realize that my thoughts had the aux cord tonight.”

Rey grinned, leaning back on her palms with a tilt of her head to the side. Her eyes watched him fondly as she relaxed into his touch. 

“They seem to have a horrible taste in music currently,” she teased, curling up her toes against Ben’s thigh. 

“Oh,” he said humorously. “They didn’t realize you were a fan of ‘Panic,’ the nineteen eighty-six hit by The Smiths.”

Giggling, Rey responded. “Seriously Ben, what do you have going on up there?”

Ben released a heavy breath as he finished the last few massaging motions on his wife’s leg. When he finished, he rubbed his hands together and rose from his crouched position. 

“I don’t know,” he admitted with defeat. “I guess I’m just thinking about a lot of different things.”

Rey moved from her spot at the end of the bed as Ben walked over to his side slowly. She patted the soft material of the duvet to indicate she wanted him to lay down. Once he did, she crawled up to where he laid himself back on his pillows, propping herself onto her elbow next to his head. 

“Don’t be cryptic,” she warned. “Please tell me what’s on your mind.”

Pausing for a moment, biting the inside of his lip, Ben debated how he wanted to say what he was thinking.

“Have you, um,” Ben murmured innocently. “Have you considered—.”

He stopped with a frustrated frown as Rey moved her hand up to lay against his bare chest. His hand slowly moved up to hers, clasping it tenderly in his larger palm. As he began to rub her smaller hand with his thumb, he finally found the words to say, deciding just to go for it. 

“I want a baby, Rey.”

Rey went rigid at his words, but quickly allowed herself to relax. A baby? Ben wanted a baby? That extra responsibility now, barely even a year after they had been married?

Ben was twenty-nine now, she considered, and had a successful job, having completed another degree and now teaching classes on playwriting at a university. He was stable financially, physically, and in one of the best spots mentally. 

But what about her?

She had graduated with him, soon landing a job with an interior design company and was slowly making her way up the ladder. Rey was one of the youngest in the office, and the one with the least field experience, but she took every task with a smile and an incredible effort. Her financial support was secure, having feared poverty once again since she left England (but Ben consoled her by writing out the perfect plan to her life so she would never have to feel that way ever again). 

Yet she had been feeling the same pull as well. 

Something was missing, despite being in love with her best friend, married, and successful. 

She wanted a baby too. 

“You do?” She dared not to speak above a whisper, with wide eyes staring at Ben and her grip in his hand tightening with anxiousness. Why was she so scared to speak this info existence? It had been something she wanted since she was a young girl, loving her only doll like it was her own child for years. 

“Yes, Rey. I want to have a baby. I want to start a family. This has been something I’ve wanted for a long time. I want—more than anything in this world—you to be the mother of my child.”

Rey’s breath hitched in her throat.

“I mean, it’s kind of why I married you,” he teased, turning his playful yet loving gaze to her. “I want to love this little thing you and I created together. Our greatest, tiny, but monumental project.”

A smile spread across her features before she leaned in, pressing her soft lips against his. She kissed him fervently, expressing all her affections for him in slow movements. 

After a few moments of snogging, she pulled herself back with a smirk etched on her lips. 

“I guess this means you’ll have to tend to my every need until we’re successful.”

“Seriously?” Ben’s eyes widened with the surge of hope that coursed through his veins. 

Rey chuckled. “Yes, Ben. I want to have a baby too. I want to be a mum.” 

Ben reversed their positions as he rolled across Rey to almost straddle her, flipping her onto her back carefully as his lips pressed against hers. She squealed with delight into the kiss, feeling the passion behind his movements as his hands trailed down her shapely body (which had filled out more since being married, and Ben’s internal spirit could not handle how frisky it made him feel). Rey’s arms wrapped around his neck as her fingers tangled themselves in his dark hair. 

They love was fiery hot in that moment as Ben radiated a heat that Rey channeled her desire into. She was going to be the mother of his baby one day, and that made everything in her body want him more and more. 

—

They hadn’t even been trying for more than a couple months when Rey found out she was pregnant. It was February of 2014 when three of the multiple pregnancy tests she had bought for safekeeping presented her with the exciting news. 

She had made an elaborate display for when Ben was to arrive home from work, theming it with the romantic holiday. The local flower shop had all kinds of beautiful roses lined by the window, and she bought a couple of them when she was gathering things to surprise him and having her first sonogram done. Once she arrived back home, she plucked the petals from the red, pink, and white roses, piling them into the shape of a heart, and placing the picture of the small blob that was their baby in the center. She did this on the living room coffee table where candles surrounded the display and heart shaped balloons hanging from random objects. 

Their favorite romance album was playing in the background when Ben walked through the front door. Rey had told him to enter from there instead of from the garage. Despite having to work today, Ben was determined to make this the best Valentine’s Day for Rey, knowing she didn’t particularly favor the holiday. 

However, when he walked inside the front door to their open living room, he was shocked to see that all the lights had been turned off, candles being the only thing illuminating the house. His heart melted at her sweet gesture, and then beating twice as fast as she waltzed out of the hallway. She was dressed in a matte red pantsuit that had a plunging neckline that was guaranteed to make Ben’s mouth water. With her hands in the pockets of the pantsuit, she strode over to her husband with a smile that outshined the sun. 

“Welcome home, my Love,” Rey said with a velvety voice as her arms wrapped around Ben’s neck, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips. The flowers he held in his hand almost dropped to the floor when she approached, but he embraced her close to his body. 

“Well don’t you look absolutely radiant, Missus Solo,” Ben replied in awe of his stunning wife, peppering her face slowly with kisses. She looked so stunning, even more than she always was. 

Man, was he lucky. 

“Thank you.” Rey blushed, brushing her wavy hair behind her ear. Ben leaned down to set his bag on the wooden floor, then turning to present the lovely woman with a bouquet of lilies and roses. 

“I know this isn’t your most favorite holiday,” he said with a smirk, knowing she almost despised the tacky romance and cheap chocolates every year. “But, you can’t refrain from letting me at least give you flowers.”

She took them in her slightly trembling hands, leaning her nose into the plastic and smelling the fragrant scent. “These are very lovely, Ben. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Ben smiled. “I mean, it could be like just any other day I send flowers to your office.”

“Those are also always lovely too,” Rey giggled, walking over to the open kitchen area and fixing up a vase for the beautiful bouquet. She cut the stems and poured in the water-enhancing packet before arranging the flowers in a delightful display. Ben watched fondly as he slid off his coat and hung it up in the closet. 

“I didn’t know you were one for decorating,” he said sarcastically as he advanced into the open space, taking in all the various balloons and little valentine decorations. 

“Eh, it’s just a little something I put on my degree,” she replied nonchalantly, scrunching up her nose. “No big deal.”

Her heart awaited the moment he would look over at the coffee table. However, his mind seemed to be focused on all the floating objects and her. 

Sweet, but damn it, she couldn’t wait any longer!

“Take more of a look around. I made something for you over by the coffee table,” Rey hinted, turning her back to him as she pulled out a couple of glasses, however one being hers for water. 

“Oh?” Ben’s eyebrow quirked up in interest as he rounded the back of the couch and over to the coffee table. He started to speak before he could recognize what was waiting for him. 

“I hope it’s another painting of koi fish. You did so well with the last one that I would like a matching one in my,” he paused, looking intently at the items on the coffee table before continuing. “Office.”

His eyes scanned every single part of what was staring him in the face. Surrounded by lot candles and rose petals was a singular picture. It looked odd, being mostly black and white, but a grayish little blob sitting in the center of the image, forming some kind of shape that—

Ben could have dropped to the floor when he realized what that’s a picture of. With trembling hands, he picked up the image from the petal pile and brought it closer to his face. 

His baby. 

His and Rey’s baby. Their little creation. 

As tears burned in his eyes, her husband snapped his head in her direction, where she was leaning against the kitchen island, hands crossed over her body. Rey also was silently crying, not comprehending how easy it was for her to be so overwhelmed. 

The older man slowly crossed the living room towards her, looking at her with a look that radiated hope and surprise. He turned the image towards her between his long fingers, raising both of his eyebrows. 

“This—this is real?”

Rey nodded, lips pressed together trying not to burst out into happy sobs. 

“This is our baby,” Ben spoke in the space, voice breaking when he reached the final word. His bottom lip quivered slightly as he looked at his wife. His beautiful, strong wife who he shared this creation with. 

“Yes,” Rey whispered back, voice breaking as her face split into the largest smile Ben had ever seen. In an instant, he pulled her into his arms, embracing her with every ounce of love and adoration he had. He and his wife had created life—a baby! They were going to be parents! Their love was so strong that it created something so beautiful. 

Something both of them had already loved so dearly, and they hadn’t even seen it yet. 

—

Unfortunately, that exciting time of their lives came to a quick end. 

At around ten weeks, Rey had a miscarriage. She hadn’t felt well a lot that day, and her mind was telling her something wasn’t right as she went to work and did her daily routine. However, that afternoon when she was at home, a crippling pain washed over her unlike anything she had felt before and noticed her pants were soaked in blood. Quickly, she rang Kaydel and Rose, sobbing over the receiver as she told them what happened. The two ladies quickly arrived and burst through their house, finding Rey in a pool of her own blood, sobbing uncontrollably as she gripped her lower abdomen. 

Rose called for an ambulance as Kaydel tried to help her calm down, doing everything she could to lower Rey’s blood pressure and get her breathing under control. Through her gasps and wails, Rey was able to explain to them that she was pregnant. Emphasis on was.

Kaydel and Rose broke into silent tears as they watched paramedics help their dear friend onto a stretcher. Rose agreed to be the one to ride with Rey to the hospital if Kaydel would call Ben. 

A little over an hour later, Rey was in a private space at the emergency room, dressed in an itchy hospital gown, hooked up to an IV, and finished with all her tests and visits from the doctor. She laid silently on her left side, curled into a ball on the uncomfortable bed. 

Just that morning she had woken up with a baby safely growing inside her. Now she was in the emergency room with no baby. 

Tears continued to stream down the side of her face, but her sobs had ceased. She had little to no voice left, nor the energy to. Exhaustion, overwhelming sadness, and loneliness filled her heart. 

This was worse than her life in England. 

Yes, she may have been severely overwhelmed when she thought that, because now she had a loving husband and a secure family, and faithful friends who were there for her no matter what. But she was going to be a mother. 

She was going to have a baby, and it was ripped away from her in an instant. 

Ben burst into the room as quietly as his terrified self could. He had received a frantic phone call from one of his best friends, sobbing and choking on her own words as she tried to tell her his wife was going to the emergency room. Terror poured into his veins like poison and ripped him apart from the inside out. Without a single explanation to anyone in his office, he ran out of the building with his keys and phone, desperately fumbling with the fob to unlock his car, and bolted to the emergency room. 

He watched as the clock kept ticking by on the display, mind frantically panicking with all kinds of terrorizing thoughts. Is Rey okay? Is the baby okay? What happened to them? Was she in an accident?

His thoughts immediately went on pause as he made his way to the entrance of the hospital. Barely hearing the nurse inform him on which room Rey, and hopefully his baby, was in, Ben rushed through the halls until he found her room number. 

When he opened the door, he was greeted with the sight of Rose sitting quietly in the chair next to Rey’s bed, massaging her head soothingly, while his wife laid in a crumpled mess, clearly in pain and completely devastated. 

Ben’s heart shattered into a million pieces that day. 

He held and cried with her for years, it felt like. Oh, how they wanted this so badly, how they had dreamed of this for many nights. Why did this have to happen to them—to Rey? Was she going to be okay physically? The doctor told her that her body still recognizes that it’s pregnant and she will experience some discomfort and a few other symptoms for a little bit longer. This further broke their hearts because biologically, her body considered her pregnant. 

But she knew she wasn’t. 

Rey slipped into a depression for a couple of months, finally receiving the help she needed to be able to cope properly by the end of April. Ben walked on icy thin water with her because of her bitterness at life and how everything good was taken away from her. 

He had struggled too, spending many sleepless nights facing away from a silent Rey, struggling to remain at peace with the fact that they were no longer going to be parents at the moment, and calling upon the advice of his wise parents. There were times he would leave work just to go sit with his dad in the backyard swing of his childhood home. Leia offered to stay in their home for a little while to help them get on their feet again when they returned home. Their friends prepared meals, offered many movie nights and listening sessions. 

Rey and Ben took them happily, not quite returning to their normal selves. 

Eventually, they both had to seek individual and couple’s counseling to help them with the loss of their baby. Thank goodness for Poe mentioning his own therapist who also specialized in marriages. 

Slowly but surely, they found themselves again, and were able to figure out where to go next after the tragic loss. 

Their year wedding anniversary was upon them, and this was probably the hardest part of the first year they had ever experienced. But, in the end, it made them stronger than ever. 

They agreed to not deliberately try for a baby until they felt like it was right. Allowing her body to heal, as her heart, Rey focused on living life contently, thankful for every good thing she had. 

Rey had a supportive, strong, and selfless husband, his loving family, amazing friends, a roof over her head she built herself, a successful career, and so much more. She had experienced pregnancy for a short while, and though it ended suddenly and without explanation, she considered it all joy. 

She knew that, if fate allowed it, she would be a mother one day. Her and Ben would be parents to pretty little babies that were created from a love that knew no bounds. 

—

That day was today. Staring at the single stick in her hands, she rose from her seat on the toilet and slowly made her way out of the bathroom that connected to their bedroom. Ben was sitting on the corner of the bed, hands fidgeting between his bent legs, his gaze blank on a spot on the wall. He was torn from the recesses of his mind when he saw his wife approach him timidly with shaking hands. 

She had been sick all week. Her memory failed her with the last time she had her cycle. Ben urged her to go get checked out, but she refused for several days until she finally had a sneaking suspicion. 

Rey informed him of what she was going to do, and he asked if he could be with her this time—so she wouldn’t have to experience anything alone. This was her second time testing to see if she was pregnant or not, the first since the loss of their first baby. He didn’t want her to be alone when she got her results, good or bad. 

Ben gazed up at her as she appeared in front of him, the stick between her fingers. She positioned her hands to where he could see the message on the stick. Did he dare gaze upon the piece of intelligent plastic that would tell them if becoming parents was in their future—again? 

Apparently, she found the bravery to, so he decided he would use her strength as inspiration. 

Neither uttering a single word, their eyes met each other, overwhelming trepidation and excitement spilling from their silent exchange. Rey was almost already in full out tears, and Ben was close to catch up. 

She was pregnant. They had a second chance. 

And little did the two of them know that this would be their sweet rainbow baby they never imagined they could live without.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> This chapter was heartbreaking to write. And I’m SO sorry to be one to bring you all sadness. I’ve never experienced this first hand, but through family and friends. If any of my lovely readers/friends (because you all are my friends!) have experienced this tragedy, my heart is with you. My heart longs to provide some sort of solace and peace for you. But know that you are completely loved and cherished—this is to everyone! 
> 
> Also,  
> I’m sorry if you received a ton of updates on me posting today. I had to go and rework the timeline of our characters because I seriously have a hard time projecting numbers aha. 
> 
> Know this story in present time (Ivy being four) takes place around 2020/2021 (depends on how things work). 
> 
> Anyway,  
> Thank you for all your love and support for this work! I never imaged the success this would have so quickly, if at all. You guys ROCK and are my muse. 
> 
> All my love! X


	14. As Long As You Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ And how you got me blind is still a mystery  
> I can't get you out of my head  
> Don't care what is written in your history  
> As long as you're here with me  
> I don't care who you are  
> Where you're from  
> What you did  
> As long as you love me”  
> \- As Long As You Love Me; Sleeping At Last (Cover)  
> —  
> Today is Finn and Rose’s wedding day, after almost nine years of dating. Their friends are part of the wedding party and the marriage of their best friends isn’t the only big news of the day.

September 2019 

“Ivy, come here. Let Mama fix your dress.”

Ivy’s hazel eyes peered up to her mother who stood across the dressing room in a long, copper-colored bridesmaid’s dress and her short hair pulled back into a fancy low bun. She had little flowers poking out around the crown of her head, a signature look Rose wanted for her lovely friends. Ivy thought she was the prettiest person ever, as was her Aunt Kaydel, and Aunt Rosie—who was wearing a different color than the rest of them. 

Today was Finn and Rose’s wedding day, a day the group of them had been waiting for forever. It was crazy to think that Rey and Ben were married before them, getting together after the other two started dating, but this just emphasized the differences in people’s fate, Rey considered. 

They had decided to have the wedding in the beginning of fall at a refurbished ranch out in the countryside somewhere. Finn and Rose were those two who would have lived a life like this if their careers didn’t cause them to live in the city. They loved being outside and traveling the earth. Weekends were spent at a camping site near lakes and any kind of recreational center with thousands of things to do in the open air. 

Finn finally popped the question to their sweet Rosie in the best of ways. The gang had helped him set up an elaborate campsite with hanging string lights, and a teepee constructed out of large branches with flowers weaving between the wood and uniting nature together—as if nature was marrying its most beautiful companion. 

Rey had intricately designed the scene, with Finn’s input, of course. She had seen it on a website, and believed this was the perfect opportunity to create her own version of it. Little outdoor lights snaked their way to the perfect little spot that overlooked a small lake. Pillows, blankets, and all kinds of individual roses littered the inside of the makeshift teepee with a small fire crackling just before it. 

It was a cool April evening when Finn brought her out to the last portion of the parking lot near the closest dock. Rose’s eyes were covered with a thick fabric as a blindfold, and her hands jittered anxiously, not knowing what the hell was going on.  
Carefully, he helped her out of the car and walked her out to that little spot. The rest of the gang were hiding behind Rose’s back, behind different trees, as the two of them stood underneath the sparkling lights. Rose was so surprised, tears springing up when she instantly recognized where she was—and noticing all the beautiful decorations. 

The two of them shared a small moment with each other before Finn picked up a single rose from a tree stump near the warm fire. Speaking softly so that only she could hear, the two of them feeling like the only two people in the world, he offered her the rose. Once she accepted it, he bent down on his left knee, taking her free hand in his. 

Rose was overcome with emotion as she covered her hand over her face, hiding in her palm as tears poured from her eyes. After so long, her best friend in the whole wide world was going to ask her the single most important question of her life. 

Finn gave her a watery smile as he tried to calm her down enough to ask her the question. They both laughed when her tears had finally slowed down, finding it funny how both of them couldn’t even keep it together for more than a minute into the proposal. 

And then, with careful hands, Finn reached into his pocket and pulled out a red velvet box, presenting her with a square diamond ring, with more diamonds creating a halo around the beautiful stone. Tears continued to flow from the woman’s eyes as she accepted his proposal, agreeing to become the wife of the man she loved. 

A year later, there stood Rey in her beautiful bridesmaid’s dress, and Kaydel in a matching color but different style, hair styled in a French braid wrapping around her head, a bun sitting at the base of her neck. Rose’s sister, her maid-of-honor, was in a green grey dress that accented the autumn color scheme Rose and Finn had wanted. Ivy was in a peachy cream dress, lace detailing intricately designed on her torso while the skirt poofed slightly with tool. 

Rey stared at her little work of art with adoration. Ivy was such a pretty baby, especially all dressed up and looking so much older. Tears could have threatened Rey’s eyes, but she pushed them back as her little girl approached her. She crouched down to fix the tool of the skirt which was a little a little caught in itself from sitting on the clean wooden floor playing with her toys. 

“Ivy, you are the cutest flower girl I’ve ever seen,” Kaydel exclaimed with awe to her “niece” as the young girl turned to face her. She was sitting in a small armchair, watching the pair of them with fondness radiating in her eyes. 

“Thank you, Auntie Kay,” Ivy said sheepishly, inheriting all the shyness her father had whenever he was complimented. Those hazel eyes of hers sparkled everywhere she looked, especially when she was looking at her mama. 

Kaydel could have cried at the thought, loving how much Rey’s baby loved her. 

“You’re always so pretty, sweet baby,” Kaydel added. “Are you excited to be Aunt Rose’s flower girl today?”

“Yes!”

“No nerves at all?” Ivy approached the other woman, standing in front of her awkwardly as a child would, twisting her body from side to side. 

“No!”

“Not even a little?”

“All I have to do is this!” The little girl ran over to her wicker basket, picking up some of the fake petals in her small hand, and then releasing them into the air to fall on the ground. 

“You’re so right,” Kaydel said candidly, shaking her head as she watched the demonstration. “Your job is so easy, why did I think you would be nervous?”

“I don’t know,” Ivy replied, bending down to pick up the petals and put them back in the basket. Rey smiled at her snarky girl as she leaned against the counter where their shoes sat, arms crossed over her chest. 

“Well, I don’t know either,” the woman huffed with a laugh. “Maybe it’s because I think my job is even harder. What do you think?”

Ivy peered over to Kaydel. “What do you do?”

“I have to walk with your stinky Uncle Poe down the aisle and stand next to your Mama,” Kaydel explained with a scrunch of her nose. 

“That’s not too bad!” Ivy hurried over to her aunt, placing her hands on Kaydel’s knees and pushing herself up with her arms, leaning in towards the woman’s face. “I can show you what I do when I’m nervous!”

“Oh? You know how to make me not scared?”

“Yeah!” Ivy moved away from her spot to stand back a little bit. “When I feel scared, I do this!” She lifted her arms over her head in an oval shape and twirled around in a circle. Then, she proceeded to do a number of simple ballerina poses that made Rey and Kaydel giggle behind their hands. 

“Wow! You seem so brave after doing that! Do you think if I did this,” Kaydel paused to hold out her arms like train tracks, her hands shaking as her head shook from side to side. Then, she stopped to continue. “I could be as brave as you?”

Ivy laughed with a squeal, nodding her head enthusiastically. “Yeah! I wanna do it too!”

Immediately, the two of them did that silly little move, Ivy dramatizing it further by adding extra moves. The three of them were immersed in a fit of giggles as there was a knock at the door. 

Rey crossed the room to go to the large white door, cracking it open to see who was on the other side. It was her handsome husband, hands relaxed in his suit pockets, giving her a happy grin. She opened the door further, knowing that Rose, her mother, and sister were in the adjoining room to this dressing area helping her with her wedding dress. 

Ben was dressed to the nines in a dark gray suit, accented with a silky copper tie and a peachy rose boutonnière. His jacket was left hanging open causally as they awaited the ceremony to begin. Stepping into the room, his eyes remained on his radiant wife, giving him an adoring smirk as she leaned against the door. 

Kaydel and Ivy had calmed down, the little girl finding herself in the embrace of one of Rey and Ben’s best friends. Ivy’s eyes lit up as her daddy entered the dressing room. She hadn’t seen him in so long! 

“Daddy!” Her voice was dripping in excitement as she called out to her father from the small armchair. Ben’s head turned from looking at Rey, face splitting into a large smile. 

“Little Vine! You look so beautiful!” Ben put his hands on his hips, looking at the girl in utter adoration. Ivy carefully tore herself from Kaydel’s arms, trying not to mess up their dresses, taking off for her father’s embrace. He bent down to grab the scurrying girl into his arms, lifting her up into the air and against his side. Her little arms wrapped around his neck, giving him the biggest hug she could muster. Ben’s free hand came up to place on her back. 

“This dress is absolutely stunning, sweetheart. You look like a princess today.”

“Thank you, Daddy,” she replied with a giggle, leaning back to look at his face. “We’re all princesses today for Auntie Rosie!”

“We all are?” Ben’s eyebrow quirked up with his lips turning into a smirk. “Even Uncle Poe?”

“Uncle Poe is the prettiest princess,” Ivy exclaimed. 

All three adults shared a heartfelt laugh as Rey closed the door and padded her way over to her family. She leaned herself against Ben’s other side, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “You look nice too, you know.”

“I don’t think so, obviously I’m not the prettiest princess today. Poe has us all beat,” Ben teased, pressing a kiss to Rey’s cheek, just above her ear.  
“You look radiant, Rey.”

“As you say, we’re all not the prettiest, so I don’t know if we can actually win here,” she replied sarcastically with a blush rising in her cheeks. Her hand came up to straighten the rose pinned to his jacket. 

“That’s desperately true.” Ben smiled down to her, that soft smile that always made her heart melt into a puddle. Damn him and his incredible irresistibility. 

But lucky her—he was all hers. Period. And there’s a baby and a ring to prove it. 

Just then, the door to the adjoining room opened slowly as Rose’s sister exited first, looking behind her to make sure the other two were following. Rose entered the larger room next, causing all eyes to land on her. 

Kaydel gasped in surprise at the sight of her best friend looking so stunning. Rose’s dress was slender and fit to her small, figured form. The shoulders of the dress were draped against her bicep, the tool resting against her smooth and slightly tanned skin. Lace detailed the entire dress, from the sweetheart neckline down to the short train. Her heels sparkled with glitter in the sunlight pouring into the room. A tiny blue necklace rested against her collarbone, adding the “something blue” aspect to her look. Rose’s hair was dark and styled into a wavy, effortlessly loose, large bun resting against the bottom part of her head. 

The four of them in the room were shocked silent, even Ivy who stared at her aunt in wonder. 

“Oh, Rose,” Rey sighed happily, being the first to reach out to the shorter girl, arms extended. With a large smile, Rose took Rey’s hands into her own, peering into her hazel eyes with her own dark ones. Tears were threatening both of them, but together they did their best to hold back the wave of emotions that were hitting them like crazy. Kaydel followed after Rey, taking the free hand of Rose’s that was trying to dab away her tears. 

The wedding photographer silently snapped multiple photos of her friends’ first reactions, catching the picturesque worthy expressions written on their faces. Rose wasn’t expecting Ben to be here, but she didn’t mind. After the three of them shared a moment, the photographer asked to get some photos of the trio. As Ben watched them, Ivy whispered into his ear softly. 

“I think she’s the prettiest princess now,” she said behind a small hand, like she was sharing a secret. 

Ben nodded at her statement. “Today she is, Little Vine. I agree.”

—

Rose and Finn’s wedding was absolutely gorgeous. Ivy did a wonderful job being their flower girl, delicately dropping her rose petals with a clumsy grace she inherited from Rey. Though she did her best, Finn and his groomsmen (made up of his brother, Ben, and Poe) watched her fondly, listening to the crowd coo at her cuteness. 

What could Ben say, he and Rey made the most beautiful baby ever. 

Then followed out Rose’s bridesmaids after her sister. They radiated with such happiness for their best friends, simply glowing in the sunlight that poured through the windows of the rustic church. Ben watched his wife walk down the aisle once again, but this time, they were not meeting each other. 

It brought back the same feeling he felt six years ago, except now it wasn’t him awaiting his bride at the alter. Now, they had a baby too, which made him feel strangely older than their friends. The first official ghost of their wedding washed him, but he welcomed it like an old friend. 

Rey made eye contact with him as she walked up the aisle, giving him one of his favorite smiles. Her eyes were full of joy and bliss for the celebration of the matrimony between their beloved Finn and Rose. However, he could sense that she was experiencing the same weird feeling, as if she was silently asking him, “Do you remember when we did this?”

He remembered quite well. The memory never left his mind. 

Once the ladies lined up across from the men, Ivy scurried over to be with her mama. After receiving a number of coos from the audience, she leaned herself into Rey’s side shyly, wide hazel eyes not knowing where to stay focused on. 

Ben caught Rey’s sheepish expression, returning it with a steadfast gaze that somehow always knew how to keep her grounded. Their daughter was only slightly panicking in front of all the people, but it seemed like Poe had taken matters into his own hands. 

Poe leaned from behind her daddy’s shoulder, quirking his eyebrow up at her playfully. Finally, Ivy’s eyes caught his, staring at him timidly. It wasn’t until he switched which brow he raised that she began to smile. Then, he started to alternate them, causing her giggle at his silly faces. Her sweet voice sprinkled over the noise of the live piano solos, causing both of her parents’ hearts to melt right in their spots—as did everyone else’s. 

Then it was time. The processional began, indicating for the guests to stand. Once they did, the chapel doors opened, presenting them with the gorgeous sight of Rose. Whispers full of adoration erupted throughout the crowd quietly as the bride and her father walked down the aisle slowly, cherishing their last moments before she was to be a married woman. Finn stared at her in complete awe and wonder, eyes filling with tears as his hand came up to rub over his mouth. He wasn’t going to cry—at least that’s what he tried to tell himself. 

After presenting Rose to her groom, her father returned to his seat next to her mother as the guests took their seats. The ceremony proceeded traditionally, the marriage officiant—being another friend of theirs from school—reciting the traditional verses and declaration of the meaning of marriage. Then, Finn and Rose exchanges beautiful, personally written vows that had most of the room in tears. Ivy leaned closer into her mama as she started to feel waves of overflowing emotion. Rey lovingly held her little girl close into her side, the girl’s head just coming below her hip. She caressed her dark curls with gentle hand. Ben’s heart ached for his daughter, watching her becoming overwhelmed at all the emotion in the room. She wasn’t used to this, and there was still a slight part of him in her—especially his awkwardness when being overwhelmed. After watching her clutch onto Rey, all he wanted was to scoop her up and hold her close to him. 

After all, she was four, was in front of a room full of strangers, and almost everyone in the room was in tears. 

The officiant finished his message and the traditional pouring of the sand with the couple. Finally, they exchanged rings and “I do”‘s and were now officially declared husband and wife. Everyone applauded and cheered as the two shared their first married kiss. Ivy, with confusion on her face, clapped her hands with everyone, still very overwhelmed by everything going on. 

As the piano serenaded the couple, they exited together, Finn lifting their clasped hands in the air in victory like he just scored the greatest treasure of all. Once they left, the bridesmaids and groomsmen met with their partners: Rose’s sister with Finn’s best man, Ben and Rey plus Ivy, and then Poe with Kaydel—an unlikely pair, Rey thought, but it worked. 

Kaydel and Poe were a very flirtatious duo, lavishing in their current state of elegance and how great they looked on each other’s arms. Those two had always had a very odd relationship, mainly because they were so alike with how they lived their lives—free to float between lovers causally and unattached from most things. Their friends worried for them independently, but that never stopped them from being their rebellious selves. 

Ben, once uniting with Rey and Ivy,leaned down to pick up his unsettled little girl, placing her against his hip as Rey threaded her hand in the crease of Ben’s muscular arm. With a smile at each other, and then a quick kiss to Ivy’s cheek, they made their way down the aisle. 

Oh, what a joyous and absolutely beautiful way to spend the day. 

—

The reception was also quite wonderful thanks to Rose and Finn planning the perfect dinner and dessert courses with the most gorgeous decorations. The ranch was decorated to the nines with rustic, magical fairy forest decorations that accurately represented their nature interests. 

After they all had walked down the aisle of the chapel, they waited off in one of the back dressings rooms so everyone could gather outside the chapel doors to congratulate the couple. When they excited, birdseed was tossed into the air by all their family and friends. Cheers surrounded them as they walked through the crowd, receiving side hugs, loving shoulder pats, and hand grabs. Eventually, everyone made their way towards the barn that did not sit far from the little church. 

The wedding party had taken their group photos before the ceremony, but now it was time for the post-ceremony photos before the sun set too low. The photographer took care of the partners, Kaydel and Poe posing together in a very simple poses, both teasing each other too much for serious shots. 

Contrarily, Rey and Ben posed pretty traditionally. Rey had her bouquet, turning into Ben’s side as he leaned into her, hand in his pocket. After a few moments of calming Ivy down from being terribly overwhelmed with emotions (her mama taking her for a small walk away from everyone for a few moments while Kaydel, Poe, and the couple’s family took their separate photos), the little family took their photos. Rey held her baby girl between her and Ben, leaning her head towards the girl. Ben leaned closer to them, one hand wrapped around Rey’s waist, the other remaining in his pocket. 

Photos were one of Rey’s favorite thing to decorate their house with, so she asked the photographer if she could capture some of their family.

Later on, everyone was eating and enjoying their meals inside the renovated barn. Poe, Kaydel, Ben, Rey, and Ivy were all at a separate table as Finn and Rose sat with their immediate families at the one right next to theirs. Their other guests were scattered and making lively conversation with everyone, making the atmosphere very cozy and welcoming. After the cake was served, it was time for the speeches. Rose’s sister gave a heartfelt message that brought many people to tears, and others to laughter. Finn’s best man, his brother, told a hilarious story of several instances in Finn’s childhood, ending it with a sweet dedication of life and happiness to the couple. More drinks were served and the live band indicated that dancing was to begin. 

Finn and his mother swayed together to the slow music as was Rose and her father. Ben had Ivy in his arms as he twisted his torso back and forth to lull the small girl into a calm state since she was so restless. Ivy was clutching her stuffed bunny to her chest they retrieved from their car. Rey stood next to them, hands clasped over her torso, watching their friends fondly. 

When it was time for everyone else to join in, several upbeat songs began to play, catching the interest of many of Finn’s younger relatives. They made a show of themselves on the dance floor, which caught Ivy’s attention. Intrigued, she squirmed out of Ben’s hold, insisting they hold onto Snuggs, the stuffed rabbit, and scurried onto the dance floor to join in the fun. 

Poe saw that his favorite little friend was showing off her best moves, so he hopped in on the action, playfully showing her some silly moves to try. Ivy giggled happily and tried to copy him the best she could. Eventually, she saw her mama and daddy standing to the side watching them with big smiles on their faces. She broke from the group to scurry over to them, taking their hands on each of her own, and pulling them onto the dance floor. 

Rey and Ben looked like they had no idea what to do until Poe gave them a couple of fun moves to try. Soon, all of them were dancing, having the time of their lives. 

Kaydel watched her friends longingly from her seat at the table. She had her chin resting in her palm as her elbow propped her up on the nice tablecloth. How fun it was to watch them all be so silly without remorse. But her heart ached even more as she watched Poe interact with the small children, making them the happiest babies on the planet. She would have joined them but having felt physically sick all day, she decided to pass—for now. 

Soon, Ivy had worn herself down and reached up for her daddy to take her into his warm, strong arms. He complied with a chuckle, lifting her from the ground and escorting his little family back to their seats. 

They sat down next to Kaydel, making conversation and taking sips of their fantastic champagne that Finn and selected for the evening. Ben, with his baby girl in his arms, was sure to drink carefully, but also observed Kaydel. Something was off about her, especially since her glass had not been touched all evening, and she was currently sipping water. It confused him, knowing her to be one to never refuse a drink. 

It made him ever so curious. 

After helping Ivy eat some cake, Ben shifted the little girl so that she could rest. She missed a nap today, and now was almost sound asleep against his chest. His hands were latched together, resting on the small of her back as she slowly drifted to sleep. Rey watched her lovely family with her chin resting in her palm, her elbow propping up on the table. 

Poe and Kaydel had left the table after Finn and Rose has stopped by to chat with them. The smiles on their faces told a thousand stories of pure bliss and excitement for their next adventures together. 

Ben and Rey shared their little moment, away from the ongoing excitement to just allow themselves to be. Their friends begged them to join, but the boy just looked at the little girl who was dozing in her daddy’s safe arms. It’s not like they also couldn’t enjoy themselves dancing, but they preferred the slower music. Plus, with the baby, they’d rather both be sitting on the sidelines than sacrificing the other. 

Also, without mentioning it to anyone, or even each other, the two of them were flat out exhausted. They forgot how much a wedding could drain the energy out of someone. But, eventually, Finn’s mother, one of the gang’s favorite people ever, offered to take Ivy from them, letting the two of them “get down with their funky selves.”

So, the two of them joined their four friends, dancing like the awkward group of twenty-somethings they were nearly a decade ago to Bruno Mars’ “Marry You.”

—

A slow song was playing as Ben and Rey were slowly swaying to the sweet music amongst many other couples. Ben’s arm was wrapped around Rey’s waist, his left hand in her right as the sweet song continued to play. She had her hand placed tenderly on the back of his neck, twirling the ends of his dark hair around her index finger. It was almost as if they were in their own little world, not unlike the rest of the dancing sweethearts. 

Rey’s hair had began to fall out of her fixed style, hanging loosely around her face as her neck. She was wearing a closed smile, complete bliss radiating from her shimmering hazel eyes as they swayed underneath the twinkling lights above them. 

Ben couldn’t believe the privilege it was to be married to this beautiful woman. 

Speaking in hushed tones for only the other to hear, Ben brought up the thought that had been running through his mind all day. 

“Does it feel strange,” he started, looking over Rey’s head for a brief moment. “Being part of the wedding but not being the ones getting married?”

“Yeah,” she spoke softly to her husband. “It feels like yesterday we were right where those two are right now.”

With a slight turn of his head, Ben turned his gaze to where Finn and Rose were embracing each other lovingly as they rocked back and forth, breathing in comfort and love from each other. Contentment and was written across their faces. Rey smiled at them, knowing exactly how they felt. 

“I really don’t believe we’ve been married six years now.”

“I know. It makes me feel like we’re some sort of veterans to the game of matrimony,” Rey replied, her accent strong with the last word. Ben returned his head back to her direction, giving her a sly grin. 

“Maybe with our friends, but to some of our extended family, we’re fresh out of the newlywed phase. Which makes me feel a lot better about it.”

Rey giggled. “We married quickly, yeah?”

“Allegedly, but we sure weren’t young.”

“I don’t know what you’re going on about. I was nearly five and twenty when you and I were married,” she teased, turning her nose up in false prestige. Ben chuckled quietly.

“Yes, but after I proposed to you, we wasted no time actually getting married.”

“When you know, you just know.”

Both of them continued to sway to the sweet music, their gaze turning towards the married couple, watching them fondly enjoy their moment. 

“Do you ever regret getting married so fast?”

Rey’s head snapped towards Ben. What was he saying? He was gazing at them with a strange look in his eye, almost as if he was ashamed for not doing what their friends did.

“What? No, Ben. Absolutely not.” His gaze turned to her slowly, his eyes slowly starting to change their expression into one of relief. “You fully understand why commitment is so important to me. After you and I officially confirmed our relationship, I knew that was it. When you proposed that next January, I wouldn’t have rejected you, because I knew you were my one—are my one.”

Ben’s slight frown began to release as a consoled grin washed over his lips as he looked lovingly at his wife. 

“You and I exchanged our whole lives on that beach,” she said seriously, gazing steadfast into his light brown eyes. “We were practically married then, if I’m honest. Just because our friends may have taken almost a decade to finally get hitched doesn’t mean our quick engagement was wrong. We love each other, yeah?”

“Of course,” he replied just as serious, tightening his grip on her. 

“And you and I are happy. Plus,” Rey said with a slight nod to the direction of the guests. “We have the most perfect darling baby in the entire world that we created together. I wanted this life so badly, and you gave it to me. I don’t care how fast it came because it’s worth every single second I’ve had with it. Highs and lows.”

Ben leaned in to carefully place a tender kiss on her pink lips, leaning his forehead against hers. He was careful not to make their exchange anything too long or provocative, but definitely let her know just how much he loved her with his mouth discreetly. 

“We do have a pretty funny little baby, don’t we?”

Rey chuckled. “She taught Kaydel that silly ballet jig you taught her that night when the storms were raging.”

With a smile, Ben lifted their arms up, making Rey spin underneath with a light squeak. “It’s her favorite thing.”

“Of course,” Rey said on an exhale as she went back into Ben’s embrace, pressing her body against his. “Because it’s your thing, my love—the both of yours.”

“Speaking of Kaydel,” Ben mentioned after a moment with a lift of his eyebrow. “Don’t make it obvious, but look behind me at her and Poe.”

Rey gave him a deadpan look, unimpressed by his lack of faith in her subtlety. Very causally, her eyes drifted off of his face to their two friends standing not too far away. They were still swaying, but something had changed between the two of them. Kaydel had a nervous, but happy expression on her face while Poe almost looked drained of color. Rey’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“What is it,” Ben almost whispered, carefully examining the change in Rey’s beautiful features. 

“It looks like,” she responded, trying to give him a brief play-by-play. “She’s told him something he wasn’t expecting.”

“Wait, let me see. I’m great at reading people,” he claimed, nonchalantly spinning them around twirl Rey once again, this time he faced the other two while her back was to them. 

“I’m guessing it came with the degree?”

“No,” Ben said distractedly. “It came with my mother.” His gaze was locked on the other two, watching as Poe was almost rigid while Kaydel danced with him. Eventually, she wrapped her arms around his neck, whispering something very softly to him before pulling him into an embrace. It didn’t take long for Poe to register this as he reciprocated by holding her close to him. 

“She hasn’t been herself all day,” he continued, still leaving most of his attention on the two friends who seemed to be having an emotional moment. 

“What do you mean? You’ve hardly seen her.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not observant when she’s around. I notice a lot of things,” he paused. He watched as the two of them erupted into ear-splitting grins and shared a quick kiss in the darker part of the room. Taking a better look at Kaydel, putting pieces together, it all began to click inside Ben’s head. 

“Oh my god,” he said on an exhale of air. Rey looked up to him nervously, itching to turn her head back to the two. But she didn’t, knowing how unsubtle she and Ben could be. 

“What is it,” she whispered softly, peering up to him with desperation. 

“Rey,” he replied, looking down to her with surprise in his eyes. “She’s pregnant.”

—

“What do you mean, ‘she’s pregnant?’”

Rey was sliding off her heels once she was inside their car, finally heading back to their hotel after their long day. Ivy was a little cranky now as Ben tried to buckle her in her car seat (“Ivy, I need you to work with me. I know you’re tired but please let me help you stay safe,” Ben had pleaded with her as she squirmed as he tried to strap her in). Somehow, like the magician he was, he got her strapped in, settled for the drive by covering her up with her blanket and returning her stuffed bunny. 

“What I mean,” he began, finally climbing into the drivers side seat, closing the door behind him. “Is that she told him she was pregnant.”

“How do you know this? I’ve been pregnant before, twice, and yet I still couldn’t tell.”

“Well,” Ben shrugged, beginning to remove his jacket from his torso. “That being true, I don’t know if it’s enough to honestly tell. But I’ve known Kaydel for almost two decades and just through observing her, I can tell.”

“Oh really,” Rey challenged, aiding him with the removal of his jacket, helping him get it off of his muscular arms and pulling it to her. She draped it over her own torso to keep her bare shoulders warm. “How can you tell?”

“Little differences I’ve picked up on for while,” said Ben. His hands began to loosen the tie around his neck, sliding it off carefully and folding it neatly. “First off, she and Poe have been hooking up.”

“What?!” Rey nearly choked on her own spit as she took in this news that Ben shared. Since when? And why didn’t she tell Rey?

They both took a look back at their sleeping child, shifting restlessly in her car seat. Their anxiety had heightened slightly as they thought Rey’s exclamation had woken her up. Realizing that she remained asleep, the two turned back to each other. 

“Since when have you known?”

“They’ve been sleeping together since Ivy was about half a year old,” Ben recounted from the memory Poe shared it with him. 

“You mean, for four years, our two best friends have been,” she paused to lower her voice. “Fucking behind our backs?”

“That’s what I said.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“That’s not my business to share, sweetheart. Besides, they’ve got a lot more to confess now that Kaydel’s going to experience some changes.”

“Okay,” Rey sighed defeatedly, feeling left in the dark about this. Why did the two of them feel the need to hide their affections for the other from the whole gang? Of course, Ben was one of the most loyal people Rey knew, but why was only he told? “What else have you noticed about her?” 

“I think I’m going to just walk you through the differences rather than outright saying them because you went through the same ones,” Ben said causally as she rolled up his shirt sleeves before putting the car into reverse. “Picture Kaydel tonight, yeah?”

Rey closed her eyes to envision her friend. “Alright.”

“Kaydel’s always been one to be a little more,” he paused to find an appropriate way to describe his friend, “shapely but slim figure, correct?”

“Of course, a body to literally die for.”

Ben gave her a blasé look, not appreciating her self-depreciation. 

“Rey.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled. Her thoughts returned back to her friend. Kaydel had the figure of a model, Rey believed, and was always jealous of the way her clothes fit her body. Rey’s body changed when she had Ivy, but it was never as beautiful, in her opinion, to Kaydel’s natural figure. 

But the more she really thought about it, this morning, Kaydel had some trouble with her dress. She had asked Rey if it hugged her a little too close, or looked like weight was put on. Of course Rey said no, but she was obviously busy with a restless baby who wouldn’t stand still for her enough to fix her hair. 

Also, Kaydel’s chest had seemed to increase in size, filling out a little more of her bridesmaid’s dress. 

Rey gasped slightly as realization dawned on her, eyes still closed but now she was sporting a grin. 

“Uh-huh,” Ben nodded his head as his eyes were focused on the road. “And she’s never—and I literally can’t stress this enough—ever, refused a drink. What did she have tonight?”

Rey gasped again. “Did she just have water?”

“It definitely wasn’t in a champagne glass.”

“Not even a Drink from the bar?”

“Nope.”

“Has it just been tonight?”

“It’s been for the last number of weeks we’ve had dinner with her.”

“Oh my god,” Rey exhaled on an excited breath of air. Her best friend was pregnant! And her other best friend was literally married not more than six hours ago! Oh, how elated she was for this season of their lives!

“Yeah,” Ben said with a grin, glancing over to his wife. She was smiling like a child on Christmas morning—Ivy’s same smile Ben has the pleasure of experiencing every day. 

It warmed his heart to see her care so much for her friends.

“Ben, do you know what this means?” Her eyes gazed to him in the moonlight with enthusiasm. “Rose and Finn are married, Poe and Kaydel are going to be parents—.”

“Our friends are finally growing up,” Ben teased with a dramatic inflection in his voice, mocking fake relief as if his friends were never going to step into adulthood. Rey giggled, leaning her head back against the headrest, snuggling deeper underneath the warm material of her husband’s suit jacket. 

“Yes, but it means that life is about to get a whole lot more exciting for all of us. Ivy will have a little friend soon, and possibly Finn and Rose might end up wanting to start a family of their own soon?”

“Those two, rushing into parenthood after nearly nine years of waiting to get married?” Ben quirked his eyebrow up in question. “I don’t think so.”

“You never know! This might have inspired them to get the ball rolling.”

The two of them transitioned into a comfortable silence, the quiet music being the only noise besides the sound of the car driving along the highway. It remained like that until Rey spoke what her mind was mulling over. 

“Do you think Kaydel and Poe are okay?”

Ben released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Honestly, he had no idea. Sure, he had been the only one to know about the two of them, but this shock would literally change their whole lives. I mean, he and Rey experienced this twice and both times left an impact on their marriage and individual lives. If Poe was the person Ben knew him to be, he would have to give up his bachelor days—which he honestly already had once they graduated—and commit to loving a singular person (his child) more than anything in the world Kaydel would have to begin taking life more seriously, realizing that actions had consequences. Yes, they were all grown and nearly all of them entering the brink of their thirties, but Kaydel still chose a life of reckless living at times. Having this silent fling with Poe resulted in her becoming pregnant, something Ben had warned her to be careful with (he’d joke that ‘this is what you’d be stuck with,’ as Ivy was a covered mess in her high chair). 

The two of them had a lot of growing up to do, but maybe this baby would help them with that. 

“I don’t know,” he replied after a moment of contemplation. “Regardless of how they are right now, they’re going to be okay. They’ve got us and their families, and if they decide to keep that baby, it’s going to be so loved and deeply cared for. Kaydel and Poe might still live in bachelor’s paradise for now, but they’ll learn.”

Rey gave a soft grin, exhaustion, excitement, and slight worry washing over her all at once. She helped Ben watch the road as they continued their journey to their hotel. 

“Yeah, they’re going to be okay.” Her mind was taken back to how she interacted with Ivy today, and how loving and fun Poe was as well. With those thoughts, all the negative and fearful feelings she had for the two of them had washed away. 

“Things will change. But the one thing I know for sure is that they are going to be the best parents for that sweet baby.”

—

Later that night in their hotel room, as Ivy was sound asleep in her little room a little ways away from their suite. Rey climbed into the comfortable mattress to head to bed once the two of them had tucked Ivy in and helped themselves to a shower, preparing themselves for a fantastic night’s rest. However, as she was getting positioned, she looked at her husband, who was checking his phone after a long day of being away from it. 

“How did they hide it from us all this time?”

Her question caught him off guard as he turned his head over to look at her curious eyes. She was propped on her left elbow, looking at her husband as if he had all the answers in the world. 

“I suppose that it was because all of you are so oblivious to subtle signs, and secondly, because those two are so promiscuous that you all wouldn’t have known better if it had been some random stranger from Bumble,” Ben answered casually, scrolling his finger across the screen of his phone. 

Rey’s mouth hung open in offense, slightly unnerved that he had the audacity to say his friends were rather clueless. Sure, Finn, Poe, Rose, and herself maybe didn’t get the “catch” of a joke, or underlying meanings behind some sarcasm, and possibly were the worst at noticing little—minute, she’d debate with Ben on occasions where she didn’t notice the change—differences, but they weren’t that oblivious. 

Well, maybe they were. 

“Why are you looking at me like that,” he said after a moment, not even having to turn his gaze to look at the small woman to know she was giving him some sort of look. 

“I’m not that oblivious.”

“Yes you are, sweetheart. If you haven’t noticed that our best friends have been fuck buddies for half a decade, then you’re sorely mistaken that you are not oblivious.”

“Okay, but Poe and Kaydel have been their own fuck buddies forever. How did we miss this?”

“Because, sweetheart,” he said with a soothing demeanor in his voice. He turned his body towards her, cupping her cheek in his hand, pressing his thumb against her smooth skin tenderly. “Poe and Kaydel know how to play their cards. Somehow, we all became distracted by a sweet baby.”

Rey gasped dramatically. “They used my baby as a cover-up?”

“No, I just think they used their witch powers to plan Ivy’s arrival at just the right time.”

Rey leaned her head back with a quiet chuckle, causing Ben to roll himself closer to her, laying her back against the soft mattress. He buried his head in the cook of her neck, pressing delicate kisses to her smooth skin, causing a shiver to run down her body. Her hands came up to rest gently against her husband’s bare back, fingertips rubbing his skin with feather like motion. They knew they were both exhausted from the day to take it any farther than that, so that’s how they stayed until they soon fell into a peaceful sleep in each other’s warm and loving embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> I’m so sorry for a late update. This has been sitting in my documents for a week, but I wanted to make sure it was absolutely perfect because of ~ p l o t p o I n t s ~
> 
> But I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was so sweet to write, and we all needed flower girl Reylo baby. 
> 
> Your responses to this story are incredible. Please let me know any ideas you have that you want to see our favorite family do!
> 
> All my love! X


	15. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I feel the Earth shaking under my feet  
> I feel the pressure building until I can't breathe  
> And it takes everything  
> And it all spills out  
> Reckless but honest words leave my mouth  
> Like kerosene on a flame of doubt  
> I couldn't make it right.”  
> \- Anger; Sleeping at Last  
> —  
> Kaydel informs everyone on her little surprise, and it is not taken well. Ben and Rey must step in, but soon realize they too are in a bit of a sticky situation.

The news of Kaydel’s pregnancy was not well received by all the members of their friend group. There was much surprise from Finn and Rose who had no idea, not unlike Rey, about her and Poe sleeping together. Let alone they even considered pursuing each other seriously. This conversation happened at their weekly dinner party, that was conveniently hosted at Rey and Ben’s home. The couple had asked Leia and Han to take Ivy for the night because of the disarray that could have taken place. And boy, were they smart in doing so. 

“So,” Kaydel said between mouthfuls of pasta salad. “I’m pregnant.”

It was so casual that no one actually reacted until a few moments of comfortable silence, feeling the deep slice Kaydel took so nonchalantly. The ripple of realization started with Finn, who sat in his chair next to her, chewing his food contemplatively. His eyebrows were furrowed together as he stared at a spot on the dark wood table. Poe had his fork in his right hand, the left shielding his eyes by resting on his forehead. Rey and Ben were frozen next to each other, sharing a knowing look between the two of them. Rose was the first to actually speak up. 

“You’re what, Kaydel?” She sat her fork down, leaning her head forward to stare at her friend at the end of the table. Kaydel wiped her mouth off with her napkin before laying it back down on her lap. It wasn’t until she picked up her utensil again that she met Rose’s beady stare. 

“I’m uh,” started the nervous yet collected woman. “I’m pregnant.”

“How,” Finn said with complete shock, still staring at a place on the table. Rey could have shook her head at him, but kept herself together as she sat still in her seat between her husband and the guilty contributing factor to this news. 

“Well, Finn, you’d ought to know since you just got married and—,” Kaydel answered him before she was cut off. 

“Now isn’t the time for sarcasm, Kay,” Rose interjected with a serious tone in her voice. “You’re not even seeing anyone—especially no one serious. Is this something that happened after one of those those one-night stands you keep getting yourself tangled up in?”

“Woah,” started Kaydel, slightly offended as she jerked her head back in shock. She held up a hand as if it gesture to her friend to stop. “No need with the criticisms, Rose. I thought you’d be happy for me—.”

“Happy for you?” Rose stood up from her seat next to Ben. The table shook slightly with her quick movement and instant pressure with her hands hitting the surface. Ben did his best to still her wine glass and his at the same time, utterly speechless at her outburst. Finn hadn’t moved, Poe was avoiding all eye contact, and Rey was mortified that her beautiful dining room table was being used as a punching bag—and that her friends were bringing in such a negative energy in her home. “You think our first reaction was to be happy for you?”

“Of fucking course I did,” Kaydel said, angrily flailing her hands up near her face. “I expected you to be a friend and supportive, like we were for Rey when she told us she was pregnant with Ivy.”

“That’s completely different and you know that,” Rose spit out, looking at Kaydel with rage in her eyes. Rey shrunk down in her chair, looking down to her anxiously clasped hands. Ben’s eyes tore themselves from the scene in front of them, worriedly scanning his wife, feeling the same twinge of pain. 

“How so,” Kaydel asked flatly. 

“First off, Rey had made something of herself and wasn’t whoring around every other weekend—.”

This time, Rose was cut off by a series of “woah”s and “take it easy”s from their male counterparts at the table. Rey’s face flushed fiercely, not knowing whether to leave or to stay and be a mediator. 

“Excuse me,” Kaydel hissed, squinting at her friend. “Did you really just call me a whore, Rose? Seriously?”

“Well I definitely didn’t call you ‘holier than thou,’” Rose replied. 

“How dare you—.”

“No, Kaydel. Not ‘how dare me.’ Your life is a fucking nightmare. You have a shitty job that literally gets you nowhere, you hate it, and perform a half-assed effort every time you go in. Every other weekend you talk about hooking up with some random douchebag that you eventually drop off. You’re too old for this shit. You’re fucking thirty one.”

Kaydel’s eyes were full of tears, her chest heaving with so much anger for her friend. Her fists were clenched together as Rose laid it into her. 

“What’s worse, Kaydel, is that every single one of us, especially Rey and myself, have tried to help you. We’ve tried to convince you how dangerous it is to go around fucking people with no strings attached. How this,” Rose gestured to Kaydel’s body with a trembling hand. “Could happen to you. Are you seriously ready for motherhood? Do you think your life is ready for a child?” 

Everyone sat in silence as Rose moved her hands to her hips, trying to mask how shaky she was. “Do you even know who the father is?”

Even more awkward silence as Rose and Finn stared at Kaydel, who stared down at her lap. Poe cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair, bracing the impact of his next statement as everyone, minus Kaydel, turned their eyes to him. 

“I am.”

All hell might as well have broken loose in Rey’s beautiful home. 

Finn and Rose were angry now, Finn jumping up from his chair. The wine glasses shook so hard that they tipped over, breaking against the hardwood and spilling wine all across the table. Ben and Rey were immediately to the rescue, Rey scurrying to the kitchen to grab a hand towel, Ben to gather the broken glass. Poe and Kaydel jumped back in shock, scooting away from the table and their furious friends. 

“You mean, you’ve been fucking around and you,” Finn pointed a finger at Poe. “Got her pregnant?”

“Oh, why don’t you just solve the case Nancy Drew,” Poe spit back at Finn, slapping his finger down as he stood up. “Kaydel and I have been together for four years.”

“Four years?!” The newlyweds could have woken the whole neighborhood with their shrieks. Immediately, both of them turned their heads to Ben and Rey, who were quickly trying to clean up the physical mess amongst the friends. 

Finn was the one to speak up, stepping back from where Ben was hovering above the ground, sweeping up the broken glass with a small dustpan. “Have you known about this?”

“Yes,” Ben replied with his deep voice without looking up at them. 

“What the fuck,” Finn’s head snapped back to Poe. “He knew before any of us? What about you, Rey? Have any secrets to hide as well?”

“Hey,” Ben hissed, his strong voice cutting through the tension as he stood up from his crouched position. A serious, almost threatening expression crossed his features. “Watch how you address my wife, alright?”

Rey was standing in the doorway to the dining room, a towel clutched tightly between her hands. Usually, with someone she didn’t know, she wasn’t shy to speak her mind. But since these were her friends, who were spitting accusations at each other, she had no idea where to step. 

“I didn’t know until after the wedding,” she admitted plainly before she hurried over to her husband, helping him soak up the spilled wine. Rose took in a sharp gasp, gaze snapping over to Kaydel. The other woman was staring at Rey incredulously, as Poe switched his flabbergasted gaze between her and Ben. How did they know?

“This happened at MY WEDDING?” Her fists were clenched underneath her crossed arms. “You told them at my wedding? Could you not stand the fact that I was happy? It was finally my time for something to happen for me?” 

“What the fuck are you talking about—.”

“Did you hate that I was finally receiving the day I’ve been waiting nine years for so much that you had to go and steal the moment?” Rose’s eyes were spilling with tears as her voice trembled. 

“No! Rose, I would never—.”

“STOP IT,” Rey yelled forcibly, finally having enough of all the destruction happening in her house. “All of you. You’re all acting like a lot of tossers over something none of us can handle. Kaydel and Poe have been shagging for four years. I didn’t know till Ben told me on your wedding day. They didn’t tell any of us until somehow they told Ben. I don’t know that tale, nor does it fucking matter at this point. They’re pregnant. They will be pregnant for the next half year or so, and there’s not a damn thing we can do about it.”

Her chest rose and fell as she caught her breath, anger consuming her as the night went to absolute shit. Everyone was shocked silent, even her husband who had never seen her lay the hammer down on her friends. He wanted to reach out to her but thought better of it until she was calmer. After a few moments, she spoke again, brushing the hair that fell in front of her face behind her ear. 

“Everything in my beautiful home is in shambles just because no one could handle the fact that Kaydel is up the duff. News for all of you,” she took a breath. “That’s what pregnancy is. Now until you can come to terms with all of this and decide whether you are here for her or not, I’m going to have to ask each of you to sod off.”

—

Later that night, after everything was cleaned up and everyone was gone, Ben demanded Rey take a relaxing bath with him. They had planned on doing it anyway, but this time, he knew it was deserved with just a single bottle of wine. Preferably their strongest. 

They were sitting on opposite sides of the large tub, bubbles floating around them and scented candles provided the only light for them. Rey had her hair up in a loose, damp bun as she leaned her head back, eyes closed as she listened to Ben read to her. Every so often, she felt playful and used her foot to nudge Ben in sensitive areas, causing his voice to quirk and his eyes to dart towards his smirking wife. Now, she was releasing all her tension in the warm water, a thousand thoughts running through her mind.

“Ben,” she whispered softly, careful not to disrupt a sentence. His eyes looked up from the book to her. He bookmarked the page and sat the object on the floor by the tub. 

“Yes, Rey,” he spoke into the serene atmosphere, watching his wife in adoration. He was so proud of her tonight, but he knew how bad it hurt her heart, remembering her crumbling in his arms after they had all left. 

“Why do you think it shocked them so badly tonight?” 

Ben leaned up from his relaxed position, knees up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. He crossed his arms and leaned his chin against his muscular forearms. 

“I don’t know. I wish I had an answer, but your reaction was just as shocked, but not as angry.”

“No,” Rey opened her eyes to gaze at her handsome husband and his toned arms. “But why do you think it made them so angry?”

“Maybe because they’re still focused on being newlyweds?”

“That just doesn’t sound like Finn and Rose though.”

“Really,” Ben asked Rey flatly, an eyebrow quirking up in question. “Those two not obsessed with their new married status?”

Rey mulled it over for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. “Possibly. You believe it stole the attention from them?”

“What do you suppose it was?”

“Two theories,” she suggested, leaning up to meet her husband in the middle of the tub, water and bubbles no longer hiding her breasts. He watched her with a careful eye, noticing how easily her slender body moved towards him. She leaned against her palms that were pressed on the bottom of the tub, perky breasts pushed together for his pleasure as she spoke to him. 

“One, Rose may just be a little jealous that she and Poe, who never had to wait for one another, are to another level of intimacy that she and Finn aren’t on yet.”

“Or?” 

“Or,” Rey released a breath, keeping her face close to Ben’s, feeling his fingers trail against her prominent collarbone. “Maybe she’s just as worried about how reckless those two are and if they’re even ready for this big stage of life.”

“The latter sounds very mature of you, sweetheart,” Ben said with a smirk playing on his lips. His hair was wet against his head, yet out of his face for Rey to study every detail of his face. She loved when he spoke to her like that. 

“What can I say, I think on my own sometimes.”

Ben chuckled at her response, leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead. They sat there in comfortable silence before Ben expressed a thought on his mind. 

“It also may be because she’s worried that she may experience what you—.”

He had to stop speaking as the full emotion of the memory washed over him instantly. His mind was recalling what happened when they lost their first little baby—their first little creation that could never be completed. Rey’s hazel eyes looked up at him, who was looking at the freckles that dotted on Rey’s collarbone. Sensing his immediate shift in emotion, she carefully lifted his arms from his knees, carefully sliding between his legs and pressing her lips to his. 

She remembered every moment of that tragic loss. Her body memorized the pain and every so often reminded her of it. But because of all the joy that poured into her life before and after that moment, she was able to heal. The wound still stung, and she knew how terrified and depressed Ben had become afterwards. There was no way she could let him remain in that feeling forever. 

Like a lifeboat, she kissed him with such gusto that saved him from drowning in his thoughts. Her body pressed against his, the warm water draping over their skin like silky sheets and the atmosphere full of passion and security. Ben leaned back into the other side of the tub, helping Rey situate herself carefully, one hand going to rest on her bare back, the other on top of her thigh. Her hands came up to underneath the sides of his jaw, as their kiss slowly became lazier, moving at such a slow pace that they both desperately needed after a night like tonight. Something calm and rewarding, to say at the least. 

Breaking away from him first, Rey looked her husband in the eyes, giving him a steadfast and gentle gaze as she mumbled for just the two of them to hear. 

“We’re okay. Completely and utterly okay. I don’t think she’ll go through what we had to.”

“Do you ever wonder,” said Ben softly, bringing one of his hands up to brush loose strands of hair away from her face, “why did it happen to us?”

“Absolutely,” she confirmed, lowering her hands to allow her arms to cross over his chest so she could lean against them and look up at Ben. “I think about it often. I constantly worried that it would happen with Ivy, and I still worry that it might with any future future littles we might have.”

He gazed at her intently, but with such adoration for her. “Would you like to have more children, Rey?”

She was silent for a moment, tapping her fingers against his bare chest carefully. Her eyes were focused on his wet skin. He reminded her that he asked her a question by tapping his fingertips against her temple softly from where his hand rested against her head. 

“Yes,” Rey replied sheepishly, meeting her husband’s gaze with trepidation. She had no idea if Ben really wanted to have more children, especially after their first scare before Ivy. The dark-haired baby was their little rainbow miracle, bringing them joy after a period of darkness. Rey had been scared to ever being the subject up. He was an only child himself and he seemed content on devoting most of his attention to his precious girl. How could she disrupt that for them?

Ben gave her a closed smile, eyes crinkling at the sides as she stared at his lovely wife. Of course he wanted more children with her. They made the most beautiful babies, and he was so smug that his wife was so courageous and strong to carry his first to full term, even after her body and soul suffered a great loss. She was a Wonder Woman to him—she was Super Mom to his baby. Yes, both of them would always be anxious about the fate of their children, but that’s the curse of parenthood. 

“Okay. We’ll have more babies then,” he confirmed, watching as her smile returned to her beautiful face, eyes lighting up like the sunshine on a Sunday morning. 

“Really?”

“Of course. We’ll have a house full if you’d like.”

“Oh, I don’t know about a house full. But one just isn’t enough.”

“Is that so?”

“Absolutely. Ivy is four and I’ve had severe baby fever since she turned two.”

“You’ve wanted another baby for two and a half years now?”

“More or less.”

“Twins run in my family, sweetheart.”

“Seriously?”

“My mother and uncle are twins.”

“So the Gene skipped a generation?”

“I wouldn’t say that, however my mother never had other children. I have a few of cousins on my uncle’s side and two are twins.”

“Why did your mum and dad stop having children?”

“Well,” Ben chuckled, running a wet hand through his damp hair. “I was definitely not planned.”

“Aren’t we all?” 

He gave a slight shrug. “I guess so, however, my parents weren’t even married. My dad tells the story perfectly because he loves the interaction between my grandmother and mother.” 

“I can only imagine how that went down,” Rey giggled. 

“It really shows how much of a badass my mom is, but also how disrespectful she was to Grandmother.”

“Tell me the story.”

Ben looked at her playful expression, a grin matching it. He sighed with a smile in return before he began the tale. 

“So, my mother was barely into her twenties when she found out. She was mortified, as most women are, but mainly because she’s so hardheaded and independent that should never imagine herself with a child. She had dreams to change the world, but having a baby would inhibit it her from doing so. 

“She told my father, which left him just as mortified but honestly unable to utter a word except for ‘pregnant’ for a couple of days. He was a racer; he worked in a mechanic shop. His girl was a feminist, how the hell was he supposed to win?

“Eventually, the day came when Mom bucked up the nerve to tell Grandmother. Dad was there, kind of sulking in the corner of the room as my Grandmother sat in her chair, reading a novel, as usual. Mom strode right up to her, took a deep breath and told her straight to her face.”

“Seriously, just like, ‘Mum, I’m pregnant,’?” Rey was looking at him with curious eyes. He could really see where Ivy inherited her ever-growing curiosity. 

“That exactly. Apparently, my grandmother glanced up to her through her thin glasses and told her, ‘no you’re not,’ then returned to reading.”

“Wow. Your grandmother was that kind of woman.”

“And nothing less. It’s who my mother got it from. Anyway, Mom protested and told her that she was and that she and Han were going to be parents. Grandmother sat down her book nonchalantly and looked at her with a look only she could give. She demanded Mom to tell her more, and then proceeded to give them an ear full of how irresponsible they were and not married yet. She did all of this while perfectly poised in her chair.

“This is the part my dad loves to tell.” Ben smiled as he remembered his father telling him years ago. “Grandmother essentially told her that she couldn’t have this baby, not so young and unstable as she was. But my mother just crossed her arms over her chest, looked my burly grandmother in the eye and told her, ‘it’s a new world, Mama. I am a liberal woman with rights and will do what I damn well please.’”

“Oh my god,” Rey breathed out in utter shock at Leia’s audacity. So she had always been this way, even as a young adult, and towards the mighty force that was her mother. 

Ben laughed quietly. “It was also eighty six and my grandmother grew up in the forties and fifties, being twenty-eight when the twins were born. She was a little old fashioned, but despite being a strict woman, she loved like crazy. It was the first time Mom had ever seen her taken back by a comment, and from that moment on, the two of them shared a mutual respect for one another, more so that the mother-daughter bond that had.”

“Your Mum is absolutely bonkers.”

“I’m very aware. I could have never spoken to Grandmother like that. I loved that woman with every ounce of my being. She taught me to play piano, read books with me, everything I love to do is because of her.”

Rey’s eyes twinkled with wonder as she watched her husband reminisce on find memories. “Do you miss her, Ben?”

“Absolutely. Every day. I wish that you and Ivy had the opportunity to meet her.” His eyes gazed upon her still, this time, a softer and sadder look crossed his features. “She would have adored you both.”

“You think so?”

“Definitely. She would have thought of you as a wild thing, with how hot-headed and stubborn you are sometimes,” Ben grinned playfully as Rey rolled her eyes at him. “But she always treasured the snarky attitude that my mother has. You would have gotten on just fine.”

Rey’s cheeks warmed as she shyly averted her gaze once more, her legs bending at the knee to come up out of the water. Her toes wiggles slightly and Ben thought it was the cutest thing. 

“C’mon, let’s finish this bath and go to bed. Sleeping really isn’t the only thing I have on our agenda.” Ben’s hands went down to cup her ample bottom, giving it a thorough squeeze, causing her to squeak in surprise. 

—

It was after a couple of weeks when Rey opened her front door to reveal a composed yet struggling Kaydel, who was clutching the strap of her purse. The other woman gave the poor girl a warm smile, inviting her inside. The house had been cleared of the negative energy from that night, and the air was easier to breathe. 

The two of them walked into the home, and the first thing Kaydel saw was Rose, shifting in her spot in front of the little loveseat in the open living room, eyes full of remorse. Kaydel froze in her spot, staring back at the other woman, but neither of them said a word. Instead, they exchanged a silent conversation that caused them both to erupt into tears, reaching to hug each other. They both sobbed into each other’s shoulders, mumbling out incoherent apologies as Rey slowly closed the distance between her and her friends. She approached, carefully joining them in their hug, instantly being washed by their tears. 

The three had lunch together, chatting about updates on Kaydel’s pregnancy, what her plans were, and if she was ready for this. Rey’s mind jumped back and forth from that night she and Ben discussed having another baby. Since then, they had foregone protection and the fear of it actually happening. 

She obviously didn’t want to steal her friend’s thunder, because now was her time to radiate, but damn if it didn’t make her want to jump all over Ben at every moment she got. 

The couple discussed her feelings on this after the girls had left for the night, Ben casually grading some reports from his students and Rey piddled in the kitchen. She sheepishly admitted her fears and worries to her husband, who took everything with ease and guided her through those anxious thoughts. 

“So,” he said casually, glancing up from the MacBook screen in front of him. “You’re afraid that if you were to get pregnant, you’d steal the spotlight amongst our ragtag group of emotionally unstable friends?”

“Precisely,” Rey said with innocent eyes, her bottom lip slipping between her teeth as they began to unfold back the layers of her worry. 

“Valid,” Ben paused, acknowledging her feelings. “But my question is, why is there a ‘spotlight’ on any of us anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

Ben released a heavy breath and closed his laptop. Leaning forward on the kitchen island countertop, he crossed his arms and pressed his elbows against the cool stone. “What makes you think that events in each of our lives makes us more worthy or deserving of attention than the other?”

Rey’s thoughts came to a screeching halt at her husband's words. What did make her assume that things were a competition, or that everyone had to take turns at having something great. 

For instance, she and Ben were married before everyone else. They had a baby first. It seemed like they were the two icons for a number of years until Finn and Rose became engaged. Now, after their wedding, it seems that they might have been outshined by Kaydel’s pregnancy?

Okay, but they’re adults now. So what makes it so bad that big things are happening in everyone’s lives? Why can’t they all be doing incredible things together—and happy for the other?

The gears started to shift in Rey’s mind as she made more connections and reasonings. Her gaze returned back to her husband, who was waiting for her response patiently, eyebrows raised in her direction. 

“I suppose I think this way because of how I grew up,” she mumbled quietly, shifting her weight to her other foot, fingers fidgeting shyly. “When something good happened to one of the other kids, we all waited for our turn.”

“Sweetheart,” Ben called to her gently. “Good things are allowed to happen to you as they come. Don’t inhibit them just because you’re afraid of ruining someone else’s. That’s too much of a responsibility.”

With a small gesture, he beckoned Rey over to his side of the island. With shuffling feet, she made her way over to where he sat on the barstool chair. Ben turned his body so that he could face his small yet mighty wife, pressing a kiss into her temple carefully before wrapping an arm around her waist. 

“That’s not your life anymore. Good things will happen to you if you let them, and as friends, and even family, we should be excited for you. It would probably delight Kaydel if you happened to be pregnant alongside her so she won’t go through it alone.”

“Really?” Rey’s eyes met Ben’s warm, light brown ones. He gave her a closed smile, squeezing her side gently as he gazed upon her. 

“Yes, Rey. You’re allowed more than one moment of grace in life.”

“Well, I’d really hope so,” she replied, turning her full body towards him this time, running her hands from his shoulders down his chest slowly, meticulously planning her next moves. “Because we’re due for something good soon.”

“So soon?” Ben smirked at his wife as he shifted slightly in his seat. His pants tightened, making him feel a significant amount of blood flow to his lower half, but he tried to maintain his composure as much as he could. “I mean, just three years ago we purchased some new throw pillows but I don’t think they’re that worn out yet.”

Rey tilted her back with laughter. “No, that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Ben’s eyebrow quirked up again as Rey indicated something he didn’t quite understand. Slowly, as Rey continued to touch him with her slender, delicate fingers, in places that she knew he was most sensitive to, realization washed over him.

“Doll,” he moaned lowly while Rey was pressing velvety kisses against the paler skin of his neck. His fingers were pressing firmly into her waist now as she stimulated such an intense arousal from within him. “I have a number of papers to grade.”

“That sounds like a personal problem,” Rey rasped between kisses, blowing cool air against the spots she had just bitten onto, sending an erotic chill down Ben’s spine. He was shocked by his wife’s response, not not surprised as she always had a brazen wit about her whenever she wanted something, especially if it was sex. 

With a chuckle, he teased her ferociously, subtly slipping his fingers under the waistline of her pants. “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

Rey’s body flashed with fervid frenzy as she felt his cool fingers begin to torment her ravenous desire for him. A gasp escaped her lips as she writhed under his touch, barely finding the words to say before he quickly removed his hand, sweeping her up into his arms, and taking them back into their private paradise where Rey could fuck her husband until the sun shined its brilliant light upon their aching yet satisfied bodies, as if the heavens had poured down their blessings upon them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> I’m so sorry for such a horrible delay in updating. Life can get crazy busy, and that’s exactly what mine did, all at once. 
> 
> I also started and restarted this chapter because I couldn’t figure out where I wanted to go, especially with the cliffhanger in the last part. 
> 
> BUT
> 
> I plan on changing the rating for this story because it’s time to get more intimate with our favorite two.
> 
> Also, I have such a hard time incorporating the other characters, but then I have to remind myself that this is a Reylo fiction, so it’s okay to just fluff them up!!!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy :) I will provide much better work in the next one, don’t you worry!
> 
> All my love! X


	16. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ With a vigilant heart  
> I'll push into the dark  
> And I'll learn to breathe deep  
> And make peace with the stars  
> Is that courage or faith  
> To show up every day?  
> To trust that there will be light  
> Always waiting behind  
> Even the darkest of nights”  
> \- Six; Sleeping At Last  
> —  
> Rey finds out she’s pregnant a second time, and she and Ben can’t find the words to say when it comes to sharing the big news.

October 2014

Rey wasn’t sure how she was going to tell Leia and Han. 

Or anyone for that matter. This was one of the biggest shocks of her life, especially after what happened months prior. 

She didn’t expect to get pregnant in the amount of time after their tragic loss. Of course, they took their time to try to start having more children, allowing it to come as naturally as the waves wash to the shore. They didn’t want to pour too much hope into it, but they definitely were not going to refuse or shoot the idea down. 

But now, there Rey stood in front of her husband, hands trembling slightly as the positive pregnancy test displayed their entire future in her hands. She had seen this before, this whole scene, but this time she wasn’t alone. And yet, the first time hadn’t been successful. 

Ben’s eyes darted between her face and the stick, trepidation pooling in his brown eyes, his hands coming to an abrupt stop from their fiddling once she presented him the object. They both had no idea what to say. Should they be elated? Scared? How about remorseful for becoming pregnant again after such a short amount of time? 

All of that confusion was put on hold as Ben took the stick from her, placing it down on the bed with shaky hands as well. He then pulled her into a tight embrace, his muscular arms protecting her and their potential new baby from the danger of the world. Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face into the top of his head as she clung to him. She stood between his legs as he was perched on the end of their bed. Her body was pressed against his torso, feeling his heartbeat through their touch and ragged breath slightly shake his chest. 

Ben was terrified. That’s all he knew in this moment, all he could feel—but that small light in the back of his mind, that he swore was his wife’s constant radiance in his life, allowed him to see some hope. Something about that little orb of sunshine that he always visualized was different. It was warmer somehow, and slightly bigger. There was a slight pulsing to it, and the utter presence of it overwhelmed Ben like nothing he’d ever known. Tears ran down his face and into the material of Rey’s shirt as one of her hands moved up to massage the back of his scalp soothingly. 

Rey allowed him to release his emotions in that moment. He had never been one to express them so leniently, but she understood why he chose to now. He still remembered the pain they had began to heal from, and he was probably terrified for her safety, and their little baby’s. 

But all Rey’s mind eye could see was a rainbow. Because after the rain, there was always the beautiful spectrum of color promised in that sunny sky. 

—

More weeks passed and it was time for Rey’s eleven week scan. The couple decided to keep the news sacred, as if an utter whisper of the word would change the fate of this baby for them. They knew it was a fear due to the traumatic experience, but their counselor helped them work through it. Much so that by the time she had made it to nearly the mark where miscarriage was at a lower risk, her doctor assured her that she was free to share the news whenever they felt ready. 

As Rey laid there, looking up at the dark screen where her little blob of a baby had transformed into the tiniest alien-looking being. She was so ecstatic to grow this child within her, already feeling such a deep connection with the fetus. Part of her felt insane for this, but her doctor reassured her that it was perfectly normal, and that her true internal mother instincts were beginning to develop. 

Ben was seated in the chair next to her, eyes staring wondrously at the screen as well, watching the tiny movements of his baby. Their baby, he thought to himself, chest filling with pride and protection over the two that sat before him. 

Once the doctor finished with Rey, providing her necessary materials to help her clean up from the ultrasound, she exited, leaving the two alone. Ben assisted her, wiping off excess gel on the side of the sweet swell of Rey’s belly. She wasn’t necessarily showing yet, but they both knew her body too well by this point. There was a definite curve now, in their eyes, and some of her everyday clothes and work attire began to pinch her sides. They even went as far as not buttoning, or even hugging too much of her torso. 

Despite them loving every moment of her pregnancy, this was one of the parts that got Rey most down. She had to work but Ben’s clothes were just more comfortable these days, especially his larger shirts and old college sweatshirts. 

After she pulled down her shirt, Rey sat up slowly with Ben’s assistance. Her legs slid off the ultrasound table to dangle over the side, swinging slightly since she couldn’t reach the floor entirely. Ben thought it was too adorable, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to her hairline. 

“Ben,” Rey said, hesitation in her voice. 

He hummed a response, leaning down to the side of the chair he was in, picking up his wife’s purse and holding it out to her. She took it gratefully, a nervous grin plastered on her face before she continued on. 

“How are we going to tell everyone?”

Ben froze while putting on his coat, eyebrows furrowing once he realized her question, finishing the task at hand before choosing his words wisely.

“Are you ready to tell them, Rey,” he asked cautiously, fixing the shoulders of the material before sliding a scarf around his neck to hang loosely on either side. Rey’s feet swung back and forth a little before she slid off the table to stand in front of him. 

“We can’t hide it forever, my love—and obviously my physical appearance will all the more betray me as the days keep flying by,” she said causally, looking up at him and clasping her purse beneath the bump that protruded slightly over her waistline. Ben’s body sent butterflies soaring in his stomach as he mulled over the fact that he had caused that swell to be there, that it was the product of their love tangled together to form life—that she was the mother of his child. 

Fuck, was he so lucky. 

Ben grabbed her coat from the chair next to his, opening it up to help her slide into. Once she did, he placed her beanie over her head, covering her ears from the cold wind outside. Her hazel eyes looked up to him gladly, a radiant grin spreading across her face as she watched her husband take care of her. 

“I think,” he decided, “that whenever you feel ready, we will find the best of ways to tell them.”

Rey scoffed, a smirk teasing its way onto her lips. “Really? I don’t think I could have thought it better myself.”

Ben rolled his eyes before wrapping her scarf around her neck calculatingly. She noticed that his dark hair was fluffier today, providing more of a bounce as he shook his head. Her sexual instincts had significantly sharpened as she progressed into her pregnancy, every little thing her husband did—like breathing—turned her on. Trying her best to keep it tamed, Rey followed Ben out of the room and to the front desk, scheduling her next appointment and receiving their sonogram pictures in a manila envelope. 

Now, they were in Ben’s Nissan SUV, driving home from the Women’s Center of their hospital. Rey held the sonogram photos between her nimble fingers as she stared at her precious baby. Ben glanced at her with a grin, already sensing how much Rey loved them. 

Her bump poked out from beneath her scarf just slightly, the thin fabric of her athletic sweatshirt beginning to stretch across the forming circumference. Ben was dumbfounded by how they were able to keep it a secret for this long, especially with how close they are with everyone. Given, Rey was about six weeks along whenever she found out, and everyone had been crazy busy in the last month that no one truly noticed. Except for Ben and Rey, who tiptoed slowly around what symptoms and changes she was going through. 

Her nausea hadn’t come until a couple of weeks before she had taken the test. Rey had been sick for nearly four weeks, finally transitioning past that gnarly phase and period of slight starvation since she could barely eat anything. Now, she was finally in some sort of balance, but continued to feel the changes in her body. It ached more frequently, and she had developed sensitive areas that had never been that painfully pleasurable before, and Ben reveled in it. Not too much to hurt his wife though, Ben had a field day with her increased sex drive and the way she crumpled beneath his touch. 

His eyes would linger on her body more frequently now, nothing but giddy and overwhelming love washing over him as her body changed with each week. I’m his opinion, he thought Rey was already too tiny for her own good, despite not being shy to hardy helpings of food. It must have been something ingrained from her childhood with meals. Every time he noticed this, his heart went out for her and would always offer anything she wanted. So how did she stay so small?

Regardless, the hormones that were blazing wildly through her body added a few extra curves to her in places Ben’s mouth could claim as his own. 

“I’m not sure how we should tell everyone,” Rey spoke quietly as her index finger brushed over the black and white image of their baby. She longed to touch that sweet face, kiss the little cheeks she could see plain as day, and tap the little ball on the end of that precious nose. It was definitely her nose, she could tell from the silhouette, and her heart leaped with joy, causing her eyes to sting with tears. 

Ben hadn’t noticed the tears as he responded. “We have a little more time. I’m sure your creative mind will come up with something.” He turned his head to her slightly as he drove them towards their home, glancing at her and immediately transforming his expression into one of worry. “Rey, what’s wrong?”

Rey huffed out a chuckle as the sleeve of her thin sweatshirt came up to wipe away the unwanted (but not unappreciated) tears. “I just saw that this little babe has my nose.” 

“What, seriously?” Ben’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, eyes turning to the image between his wife’s fingers. “How can you tell?”

They were stopped at a stoplight as Rey leaned her body over to show him the image, indicating the cute little swoop of the bridge of the baby’s nose, and the evident softness of the ball of their nose. “Right here,” she explained. 

Ben’s face broke into a warm smile, adoration pouring from his eyes at the little being that was growing inside Rey. 

“Mama’s nose,” he said quietly, more like a whisper to himself in fascination as he referred to what he wanted Rey’s mother name to be. Rey’s eyes widened, breath hitching as he called her that for the first time—out loud. 

She couldn’t believe it. This was real life. They were going to be parents. He was going to be this baby’s Daddy. 

She was going to be the babe’s Mama. 

Tears poured from her eyes much faster as her heart became overwhelmed by how much she loved her little family, and how blessed she was that this was her life. Her crying was silent as Ben reached a hand out to hold onto hers comfortingly while he finished their route back home. The gentle pressing of his thumb against her palm somehow sent calming waves through her body, feeling an instinctive peace and protection from Ben. 

Pregnancy was a whole different beast that the two of them were not ready for. 

Ben hated to see his wife cry, but repeatedly reminded himself that these were happy tears—at least, that’s what he believed. There was never a moment where he could stand for his wife to be so upset to where that’s all she could do. Even if it was, he never wanted her to be alone. All he could do now was send her as much love as possible through their touch. 

Eventually, Rey wiped her eyes again after she put the image away into the manila envelope. She sniffled with a slight giggle, lowering her hand to her little bump, cradling it instinctively as she leaned herself closer to Ben. Her free hand took his once more, intertwining their fingers together before moving the back of his band to her lips, pressing a gentle kiss into his pale skin. 

“I’m sorry for the tears. I promise I’m not sad,” she said sheepishly before placing Ben’s palm against her little bump. His breath hitched his chest as butterflies went soaring in his stomach at the touch of her swell. A soft grin overtook his lips and his thumb caressed her belly gently as he drove them home. Rey’s eyes peered up to him with wonder and love for her husband. 

“Don’t apologize for having feelings, Sweetheart.”

“I’m glad you feel that way, because there will be much, much more crying, I presume.”

“Oh, it’ll be great practice for distinguishing the types of cries Little Babe might have when they’re born.”

Rey laughed with a tilt of her head back against the head rest. “Trying to decipher whether I’m crying out of sadness or hunger?”

“Exactly.”

She giggled, Ben feeling her belly flex just slightly under his touch. “But what if it’s out of happiness?”

“Then we assume our baby comes with the same function, and if it doesn’t do the same, then we’ll need to go to customer service.”

“To return them, like a toy?”

“‘Excuse me, ma’am,’ we’d say. ‘It seems like this toy is stuck on the demo-mode. For some reason, the more developed emotions are missing and I was guaranteed life-like qualities,’” Ben teased, making Rey giggle even more. 

“Imagine our baby in demo-mode, though,” Rey said. 

“All the cries, all at once. I feel that would be our luck if we had to do this in some high school parenting class.”

“Do you think we’d be great fake-parents?”

“Absolutely not. We’d fail. Knowing the both of us and how we were in school, we would not be successful ”

“How come?”

“Because I’m clumsy as fuck, especially when my feet were too big for my body at the time. I would drop the doll from my awkward hands just trying to pick it up. And you, because you were a lot more hot-headed than you are now and would probably end up leaving if the crying became too much.”

“I really hope our actual baby won’t have the same fate as our fake baby.”

“I would really like to hope that I’m now grown into my body and can carry small objects, like a football, without somehow just, exiting reality for a second and dropping everything from my grasp.”

“I still think your ears keep you from being perfectly balanced.”

Ben took the teasing from his wife in stride, not looking at her as she grinned at him playfully. “They just kind of weigh me down. But I’m considering getting them lifted and tucked. What do you think?”

She chuckled softly. “I don’t think I could live without my Benny and his ears.”

“Good, because that’s a whole extra problem. I’ll just live with the constant bullying over the fact that I have them.” He smiled at her confession of her fondness for his ears. They sat in silence for a few more moments before Ben turned on their street, pulling into their large driveway slowly. 

Rey had been looking out the passenger window contemplating before she spoke her thoughts out loud. 

“This baby will have your ears, I just know it,” she confessed as she unbuckled her seatbelt to exit the car. Ben was climbing out and looked at her incredulously, eyes screaming in hope that it wasn’t true, and remaining oblivious to the shock that awaited him five months later. 

—

The soon-to-be parents had announced their pregnancy very cautiously, first it being to Han and Leia. They hosted the two of them for dinner one night and presented them with the photos in the manila envelope. Rey was sitting on Ben’s right side as his mother sat to his left, claiming the head of the table. She had taken out her glasses and peered down at the image in her small hands closely before realization dawned on her. 

“No,” she said with a wary breath, eyes wide and full of anxious hope as Han slowly turned his face up from the second image they provided. Rey was the one to respond to them, clutching her fork in her hand as tears, yet again, flooded her eyes. She gave a watery giggle as Ben grinned sheepishly. His parents looked between the two of them in disbelief. 

“One hundred percent,” Ben said, finding the bravery to speak without his voice cracking from the overwhelming emotion he was feeling. His arms were crossed over his chest, hands balled beneath his biceps anxiously. 

Han let out a heavy breath, leaning back in his seat and retuning his gaze down to the little baby in the sonogram. Leia stared at them both with all the love in her gaze, and then slowly shifting her eyes back to the image. Ben saw tears in her eyes as her chin wobbled just slightly as she fought back sobs. He knew how badly the loss of their first baby affected her. She was looking forward to being a grandmother so badly, and it was stolen from her just as fast as it was for them. There wasn’t a day where she didn’t mourn for that precious baby. But she knew that there was always a hope for another opportunity. She always had the hope that Ben needed in his life. 

“Goodness,” she said fondly, voice only shaking slightly. “How far along are you, Rey?”

“Eleven weeks as of a few days ago.”

“Eleven weeks? And when did you find out,” Leia looked too shocked for words. 

“We’ve known since she was about six weeks along,” Ben timidly answered for her, looking at his mother as if his next words would send her into a watery or fiery explosion. 

Leia refused to look at them as tears slid down her cheeks. She didn’t expect to cry today, but she was glad for it. Her son was finally going to have a baby! A small flash of anger crossed her heart when Ben told her how far along she was and how long they’ve known, but it was quickly erased by the memory of her first grandbaby she was never able to meet. Of course Rey and Ben didn’t want to let the news out too early. They didn’t want to raise too much hope again, which Leia understood. 

It wasn’t she felt a hand reach out and touch her shoulder lovingly. Her reverie broke instantly as she looked to her left, gazing upon her husband who mirrored her tearful expression. After a silent exchange of grins, they both leaned towards each other, grasping onto the other like a life preserver. Sobs escaped Leia’s throat as she clung to her husband, his shoulders shaking as tears fell down his face. They were so happy for their son and daughter-in-law. This was the hope they had wished for, the thoughts that they counted every day for. Their baby was having a baby. 

Ben and Rey watched the two of them, tears continuing to fall from Rey’s eyes as she reached out for Ben. He was fighting back large waves of emotions, slowly untwisting his arms from their crossed position to take Rey’s hand in his. As she leaned her head against his shoulder, he pressed a tender, loving kiss on her forehead. 

They were grateful that his parents were joyful for this second surprise. Of course, their grief was still indescribable, but somehow, they felt that this was how everything was meant to be. Leia and Han weren’t going anywhere, despite Rey’s initial fears. And yet, deep down, Rey knew this was how it would always be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Here’s a short update that I wanted to share since I made you wait so long for the last chapter. It is short, but I am currently writing what I had originally planned to happen after chapter 15. I’m writing that now because it’s fresh on my mind, and there’s going to be more P L O T (let’s hope) happening between the last chapter and the one that is in progress.
> 
> Slow, but steady! 
> 
> Have some fluff. We all deserve it. 
> 
> Thank you for all the reads and lovely comments on this story! Your enthusiasm is what keeps me going—and makes the adventure into writing even more fun!
> 
> All my love! X


	17. A Million Charming Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ I'm wishing I could be forever in your arms  
> Forever and a day  
> I'm wishing I could be lost in your arms...  
> Always.
> 
> These are the memories that will not escape me.  
> Oh, and your smile is worth a million charming words.”  
> \- A Million Charming Words; Sleeping At Last  
> —  
> It’s the new year and Rey finds out something she had already been aware of. And Ivy. And possibly Ben.

February 2020

She had known for a while. 

Those signs are not mistakable. The familiar physical feelings returned in those very same spots where they were before. Her hair had begun to lighten a little and her skin had a indescribable glow to it. 

Even Ivy was acting a little more protective than usual of her Mama. When it was time for Ben to take her to school, she began to throw small tantrums until she was completely strapped into her car seat. 

Eventually, especially days like this one, Rey started to take her outside herself with Ben, her robe and house shoes really making her look like a suburban mom. However, she was able to settle her distressed little girl by promising snuggles and kisses until bedtime whenever she returned home. With big tears in her eyes, she nodded her dark, curly head, taking big sniffles that shattered Rey’s heart. 

She had begun to grow more resistant to the tantrums and tears as Ivy grew, but for some reason—maybe because she knows Ivy’s crying for her—it started to sting with a different kind of pain. Almost like how it felt when Ivy went to preschool for the first time. 

Rey closed the back door and went around to where Ben was standing by the driver’s side, awaiting his wife’s traditional send-off. She stood on her tippy-toes to reach Ben’s waiting lips, pressing a soft and deliberate kiss there. It was always chaste in the mornings, but today was different. He let her take her time before he pulled her into a warm embrace. 

In his arms, Ben noticed Rey felt a little different. He didn’t know if it was because she was tense or if she had emotionally closed herself off, but the energy she radiated was different. Was she still sick? 

“Is everything okay, Sweetheart,” he asked her as she pulled away, arms crossed over her torso, clasped in front of her hips. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I’ve just been feeling off lately, and I think it’s what’s affecting Ivy,” she responded, looking past Ben where Ivy was settled in her car seat, rubbing her watery eyes. 

“What’s going on?” Ben’s eyebrows furrowed as he leaned back against the car door, sliding his hands in his dress pant pockets. She loved this suit on him particularly, mainly because it emphasizes the darkness of his hair. 

Oh, how she loved that specifically between her fingers—dark, wavy strands of his silky hair—in any context. 

Rey only stared at him, giving him a silent look as if he knew what was up. She didn’t want to speak it into existence yet if it wasn’t true, but she knew she had to at some point. Ben’s eyebrows softened from their tense position, shifting his expression into one of anxiousness. 

“Have you taken a test yet,” he said quietly for just the two of them to hear. Rey shook her head. 

“No, but that’s what I was planning to do today. I’m going to call in sick and take the day to,” she paused with a light sigh as her mind ran a thousand miles a minute. “To try and get things sorted.”

Ben responded to her through a nod, leaning up from his position against the car. “Please call me if you need me. I don’t care to take the day off either.”

Rey’s own body stepped forward to press herself against her husband, her head leaning against his chest, ear pressed over his heart. He wrapped his arms around her, leaning his chin against the top of her head as she dwelled in his strong embrace. 

“I won’t make you do that. But if you feel like you can’t focus because you’re worried, come home.”

“Yes ma’am,” he agreed, dipping his chin in and pressing a kiss to the top of her head before letting her go. Rey stepped backwards as Ben slid up into his SUV, rolling the window down to say goodbye once more to his wife after he buckled up and checked on Ivy. 

“Love you, Sweetheart,” he called, giving her a casual, but typical, wink before he pulled out of the driveway. Rey giggled and waved to them. 

“Love you too, my Loves,” she called back, watching as half her little family drove away. 

—

Rey was almost one hundred percent positive she was pregnant again.

Before she jumped into her morning shower, she shed her robe off, hanging it on the door hook. She then turned herself towards the the large mirror in front of their sinks, and she observed herself. She was in a rosy, silky nighty that emphasizes the blush that she now naturally had on her cheeks. Aware that she was a little curvier from having Ivy, she didn’t try to look to critical at her physique. 

But she saw the difference. 

Despite still being toned from her running regimen with Ben and Finn, there seemed to be a little less flatness in her stomach. It looked almost pudgy, and when she ran her hand over the low swell, it was not squishy. 

Heart rate speeding up quickly, she removed her nighty and now stared at herself in the full length mirror. She saw how her nipples looked a little harder now, and instead of being a muted shade of pink, they were red. Though she may be littered by light, purple bruises, curtesy of hers truly (Ben), from last night, her nipples are what surprised her most. Taking her hand, she carefully began to massage the top of her right breast, moving in slow circles down the mass. When she made it to her areola, she hissed, feeling a sense of pain shoot through her body. Despite it being sharp, she felt oddly satisfied at the sensation. 

Now she definitely knew. As the water in the shower ran, she crouched down to dig through the cabinets of the sink, searching for her extra pregnancy tests. When she found them, her hands grabbed at the box, pulling it from the recesses of the cabinet and did what she needed to do. After finishing, she immediately jumped into the shower to wash away the nerves and severe anticipation of the results. 

Rey stood under the warm water falling from the shower head and contemplated everything that was happening. It was the start of a new era for everyone. Kaydel was six months along with a baby girl, and Poe had never been so ready to be a father. He asked Ben for excessive father advice, all to which Ben took in stride with a patience of a thousand monks. They talked constantly about what to do and not to do, evoking Ben to respond as such: “If that moment comes, you’ll instinctively know what to do.”

Poe left those conversations more confused than ever, and Ben would fist bump Rey in victory for confusing the daylights out of their friend with their parenting wisdom. 

Finn and Rose were doing just fine as newlyweds. Nothing had seriously changed since their wedding except for their marital status. They did the same things every day, and still spent the majority of their time outside with their new dog. 

Ivy was finishing up her last year of preschool before she entered kindergarten—a thought that would make Rey cry for hours, believing that her baby girl was growing up too fast. She would cling to Ivy after these realizations, the poor girl not knowing what to do, and Ben not knowing how to save her. 

Rey knew Ivy was prepared to go to kindergarten, being so intelligent like Ben and curious like herself. Ivy was her proudest achievement, hands down, and she was so excited to show her off to the world. 

Her only hope was that Ivy wanted her Mama to be there when she made her mark. 

Shaking the anxious thought from her mind, she finished her shower and turned the water off, grabbing her towel that hung right next to the shower door. She towel-dried her hair before wrapping the material around her body, and stepped out onto the fluffy rug. 

Taking the time to finish up her morning routine, she ignored the tests until she was fully finished, dressed in a pink knit sweater and light blue jeans. The button still latched, but was surely beginning to restrict her as she continued to move around. Eventually, she became annoyed by it and grabbed a hair tie, looped it through the button hole, then latched the button through the other end of the hair tie. Easy fix! 

Her hair was longer now, so she gave it some slight curl, pulling the top of her hair into a small half up-do bun, letting the rest fall against her back. 

Once she completed a simple makeup look, she cautiously made her way back to where the tests sat on the marble countertop. 

Despite already knowing her fate, the confirmation on the four tests still gave her the same surprised feeling she felt almost five years ago. 

—

When Ivy returned home, she receiveD what she was promised. Her Mama and her snuggled all afternoon on their comfy yellow couch. Once they fixed a healthy meal for dinner and ate at their little breakfast nook, they all returned or the living area to finish watching one of the several Disney movies Ivy had already watched a thousand times. 

Ben had kept in touch with Rey all day, a little more than usual since she was home alone. Rey spent her day finishing up some projects, deciding to work from home rather than go in. She began to feel sick once eleven o’clock hit, and decided it was for the best she didn’t go in. Her time was spent wisely sketching a potential plans for a master suite in a home for an older couple who’s children had moved out for years. 

Her family had returned home around four-ish, and Rey was so thankful. As much as she loved staying home and having time for herself, it wasn’t as much fun when her favorite people weren’t around. She spent some time sketching on their living room couch while the television above the fireplace played one of her favorite shows on Netflix. Her mind’s eye could only see the future for her little family, so she drew it. She sketched different scenarios with the three of them plus another little babe, and even one with her holding one baby, and Ben with the other. 

When she heard the downstairs garage door open, she hurried up from her spot on the couch and dashed into her bedroom to hide her journal. Doing so made her feel worse, but she didn’t mind as long as those two nosy people didn’t dig through her stuff. 

Now, with the television playing softly in the background, Rey was leaned into Ben’s side as she held Ivy in her arms, her little girl’s lead resting against her chest as she slept soundly. The soft cactus-themed throw was draped over them for comfort as Rey’s fingers were playing with Ivy’s hair. Ben was reading a book next to them, having lost interest in the movie minutes after it started, but not daring to let his favorite girl know. Rey would just grin at him as she saw his interest wean away, and she allowed him to grab his book from the end table once Ivy was almost asleep. There the little family sat, enjoying the start to the peaceful weekend. 

“Ben,” Rey said softly, trying not to wake up her sleeping babe. Ben hummed in response, turning the page of his book intricately with the single hand he had on the object. 

“Let’s get her ready for bed so you and I can be together, okay?”

Ben’s gaze turned to Rey who was still playing with their baby’s hair, eyes unfocused on an object in the distance. He closed the book and turned the rest of his body a little more towards her, eyebrows furrowing as he spoke to her. 

“Of course. Also, you didn’t mention how you’ve been feeling tonight,” he prompted, beginning to stand up so he could take his baby girl into his arms. Rey would usually do it, but he knew that she wasn’t feeling well enough to do so. Carefully exchanging the babe into his arms, Rey shrugged her shoulders once her body was free from the light weight of the girl. 

“Worse as the night has gone on, but manageable,” she responded, stretching her arms behind her head as Ben held their girl against his chest. He was still looking at Rey now with a little disapproval, probably for not letting him know all night, she assumed. 

“You should have told me. I could have gotten you something. After we finish, do you want me to get you anything?”

“No. I’ll get some water. Go ahead and run her bath while I get everything out here taken care of,” she responded with a smile up to her husband, standing up slowly next to him and placing a kiss on his shoulder. She rubbed the back of her sleeping daughter, trying to arouse her awake so she could get ready for bed. “Little Love, you need to wake so that you can get cleaned up for bedtime.”

Ivy’s eyes squinted as she began to stir, feeling love radiate from her Mama’s touch. Releasing quiet grunts of sleep, she opened her hazel eyes to see one of her favorite people smiling at her, her identical hazel eyes glittering in the warm light. 

“Mama, I’m really tired,” Ivy said with a sleep-heavy voice, hand coming up to rub at her eyes. Rey cooed quietly, running a hand down Ivy’s head. 

“I know. Daddy is going to start your bath, and it won’t take long. We just want to make sure you’re clean before we do bedtime.”

“Okay,” she replied pitifully, melting Ben’s heart as his tired girl battled her way out of unconsciousness. With a wink to Rey, he turned on his heel and slowly made his way to the hallway. Rey watched them go with a happy smile and then began to straighten up the area and turning off the lights. 

—

Ivy cooperated during bath time, shedding three minutes off their usual escapade. She was clean and dressed in her “Sparkle-Saurus” pink jammies as the little family laid together in her bedroom. They were all in her full sized bed, Ben on his back, reading her a new bedtime story as Rey was on her other side, brushing her hair away from Ivy’s face gently. Ivy was snuggled up with her blanket and stuffed bunny, eyes beginning to grow heavier by the minute. 

Eventually, she was sound asleep, and Ben had long since finished reading the actual story once he realized that she was out. Rey wanted to giggle at him as she watched him repeat the same words on the page over and over until his girl drifted off. They both kissed her cheeks, rolling off either side the comfortable mattress. Rey tucked her in closer, spending and extra second with her forehead pressed against the side of Ivy’s head, drawing in her comfort. 

Sometimes a Mama needs a second to reconnect with her babies. Especially her little ones. 

Once they finished in her room, the couple made their way back to their bedroom, Ben’s index and middle finger latched to Rey’s pinky and ring finger. She led them inside their large suite, feeling the peaceful atmosphere they created for this sanctuary of theirs. Ben closed the door just enough to leave a crack, in case Ivy needed to get to them. He then followed to where Rey was pulling a new pair of pajamas out of her dresser. Turning around to him, she helped him unbutton his dress shirt. Helping him slide it off, she took it and tossed it into their hamper as he grabbed his usual pair of sleep shorts and briefs. 

“I’m going to take a shower real fast,” he told her in the quiet space of their room. She held her silky pajama set in her hands, giving him a nod. They parted their ways in a comfortable silence that they usually had after long days. Despite it being nearly ten, having spent an hour getting Ivy ready for bed and asleep, they were exhausted. Especially Rey, who constantly felt sick and tired lately. 

She let the rest of her hair down as she went over to her vanity, running her hand through the longer curled locks that hung to her mid back. Changing into the silky pajama shirt and shorts, she noticed her forming swell as she changed. Compared to last time, Rey felt like she was showing a little more at this point, but in reality, she had no idea how far along she was. That was up to her doctor to find out next Wednesday. 

Using a makeup remover wipe, she took off her makeup carefully, and then proceeded to finish her nightly routine in the bathroom while her handsome husband stood in the full glory of the overhead light. She watched him through the steamy glass door, aching to join him and remind her fingertips of every part of his body. But she refrained herself by focusing on brushing her teeth and washing her face. Ben had just finished when she began the last of her skin care regimen. 

He walked out of the shower with shaggy, dark wet hair and a white towel rapped around his waist. Rey tried her hardest to keep her composure as she moisturized her face. They stood there together, in front of their individual sinks, taking care of their hygiene before bed. One of the most mundane tasks that they had come to love doing together. 

While Ben was in the shower, Rey was able to find the pregnancy tests she took and line them up on the counter for her husband to see. He had just began to brush his teeth as she left the bathroom, turning off all the lights except for the two lamps next to their bed. When she finished, she plopped down into the middle of the large mattress, awaiting her husband to recognize her little surprise. 

Stepping out of the bathroom, Ben had a confused expression as he continued to brush his teeth with one hand. He leaned against the doorframe, looking at his wife curiously. Of course he would pull this stunt, staring at her with some obvious conversation in mind, but in no way to actually engage in it. After a long gaze was held, he turned back into the bathroom to rinse. 

Rey sat there patiently, her hair starting to drape over her shoulder as she fiddled with it nervously. Ben’s figure reappeared in the doorway, except this time, he was holding a couple of the tests. 

His eyebrow quirked up as he gave a questioning look, showing her the pregnancy tests. “I’m guessing this is why you feel so horribly?”

Rey could only nod her head, a sheepish expression written all over her face. Her fingers continued to twist themselves into her hair. 

Ben’s face broke into her favorite grin—one that was warm and full of a fondness he only had for her—laying the tests back in the bathroom quickly and crossed the wooden floor over to the bed. Rey watched him approach, moving her hands to rest behind her against the mattress, opening her posture for more access to him. He crawled onto the bed, prowled over to his beautiful wife, and hovered over her on all fours. 

“Congratulations, Sweetheart,” he whispered softly into her ear, sending chills and arousal down her spine, every tingle creating a new thrill in her mind. His breath tickled the spot right next to her ear before he pressed his lips against the soft skin of her neck. Rey rolled her head back a little more, granting him full access to her skin. Ben reveled in this, expressing his gratitude and absolute adoration for his wife with his lips. 

Instead of indulging them in a few rounds of sexual intimacy, Ben’s broke his contact from her neck, carefully using his weight to lay them back against the pillows of the bed, earning a squeal from Rey. They landed on the soft material of the pillows, Rey on her back with Ben on his left side, arm wrapped around her middle. His light brown eyes stared at her in awe as she smiled her radiant smile. 

He was so in love with her, and so thankful that she wanted him forever. 

Rey turned her head towards him hovering over her, letting her hands come to rest on either side of his face, pulling him down to her as she placed a tender kiss on his lips. They moved together with such a passion that would normally leave them breathless, but this time, they took it slow, basking in the presence of the other. Joy overflowed in their hearts for this surprise, for it had been what they’ve been trying to have for several months. 

Ben broke away first to gaze down at his wife lovingly, the fingers against Rey’s soft side beginning to brush her skin under the silky material of her pajamas. “How long have you truly known,” he asked her quietly. 

Her gaze turned down to her little swell, letting her hands come to rest right above it under her breasts. She released a light sigh before she responded. “I’ve known for a couple of weeks that something was off. Plus,” she said, raising up the lower part of her top, exposing the pronounced swell. “I feel like I’m already the size of a hippopotamus.”

“You definitely aren’t, Rey.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re married to me.”

“Possibly,” he teased with a grin that Rey swore was a generational quality from the Solo’s. Sometimes, when Ivy felt her most playful and mischievous, she flashed that same grin that drove Rey insane. “But I don’t think I’ve ever truly been wrong in my judgements when it comes to you. Besides, I haven’t physically seen a difference, and I see you completely naked every day.”

Rey’s cheeks flared with a flush as she turned over onto her side, fully facing her cheeky husband. Ben chuckled lowly as he watched her embarrassed expression and fidgeting at his comment. He took her change in position as a sign that she was ready to snuggle into his side and fall to sleep. The poor girl had felt so sickly for the last few weeks, and definitely hadn’t improved. His only hope was that she could get in to see her doctor soon to help her get back up on her feet again. 

Pulling the comforter over them, Ben got them settled for bed comfortably, heart filled with joy by the spectacular news about the new adventure they were about to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> I apologize again for a late update. I’ve had this in my notes but am just now getting to post it. It’s short, but super sweet. I’ll be adding a lot more to it but I hope you fall in love with this sweet family once more!
> 
> All my love! X


	18. Countdowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ I brush the dust off, gain composure for another round  
> When did my life become a series of countdowns?  
> I curse the heavens for pulling you away from me  
> At the same time  
> I pray that you'll find everything you seek  
> And I'll be starry eyed  
> I'll be starry eyed  
> I'll be starry eyed for you.”  
> \- Countdowns; Sleeping At Last  
> —  
> Rey and Ben find out some shocking news that turn their world upside down, only until Leia swoops in time rescue them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> I have gone back in to rework this chapter. While I was rereading for content consistency, I realize that this chapter specifically needed reconstruction and more deliberate thought. 
> 
> So! New things were added, more interactions, and more fluid thought and character choices. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Update: I got A LOT of ages wrong and it was so freaking confusing bc I’m a mess :-( plus AO3 didn’t format this chapter correctly when I changed some things. So I went back to fix.  
> Final update on ages for our lovely family (per March 28 2020):  
> Ben was born in ‘86; he’s 34 now  
> Rey was born in ‘91; she’s 29  
> Anakin was 23 when the twins were born; this chapter, he’s 47  
> Padmé was 28; in this chapter, she’s 52  
> Luke and Leia were born in ‘66; they are 24 in this chapter.  
> Obi-Wan/Ben is 63 but still boppin’

February 2020

Twins

How could have Ben forgotten? Twins just so happen to run in his bloodline. His mother is a twin. His uncle Luke’s grandchildren were twins. His grandmother that he never met was a twin. Where the hell did this fact disappear to when they were deciding to have children? He even mentioned it to Rey the night they decided to have more children. What could have possibly inhibited him from remembering?

Rey and Ben were dumbfounded as the doctor pointed out the two little blobs on the screen that was being projected in front of them. There definitely were two individual little fetuses. The doctor tried to explain to them more about the state the two were in. However, these words just sounded like garble to the couple who remained bewildered in that little room. Rey’s doctor noticed their bafflement and encouraged them to take some time to think before she returned with their sonogram scans. She left the image on the screen and materials for Rey to clean herself up with, and exited the room quietly. 

Both of them just stared up at the screen, eyes shifting between the two little spots. Those two little spots were two little people. Two tiny humans were inside Rey, growing and surviving because the love their mother has for them. Rey’s eyes began to well up with tears as she realized this, feeling incredibly overwhelmed and overjoyed. 

Ben was definitely overwhelmed. He never imagined that his wife would have to birth two of his babies at the same time. A part of him felt guilty for forcing this upon her, especially since it was out of his hands and up to genetics, but there was nothing he could do. They were going to be a family of five at some point and nothing was going to change that. 

Of course, he was ecstatic! He was flooded with astonishment and absolute love for his wife and two little babies—but that’s what always stumped him: two. Leia had warned him that the genes for twins skipped a generation in their family, and always had since even before his grandparents. He dismissed it casually because he and Rey weren’t avidly trying for any more babies, completely content with just the one. 

Now they were bound to have three, and Ben’s head began to paradoxically feel weightless. He was grateful he was sitting in the chair next to Rey and not standing, or else he might be the one taking a visit to the hospital. 

Rey sniffled, finally coming to her senses, and cleaning the blue gel off of her already bigger stomach. She wasn’t much larger than when she found out, but it being another whole week, her body continued to change. Obviously so since there were now two babies preoccupying the space inside her belly. 

Once she finished and leaned over to the trash can by the bed, Rey pulled down her white tunic top and readjusted the waistband of her leggings. Her eyes then turned to Ben, gaging his reactions to the huge shock. When she noticed that he was just sitting there, eyes focused on the screen with a little bit of a confused expression, Rey slowly sat herself up and turned her legs over the side of the table to speak to him. 

“Ben?”

He didn’t respond as he still focused intently on their little babes. She assumed his thoughts were too loud for him to hear anything. 

“Ben,” she said again, this time a little more forceful. Ben’s head jerked instinctively and his eyes zeroed in on Rey, all signs of disorient still apparent on his face. He hummed in response, not totally aware of the situation before him. Rey had no idea what to do—this had been one of the first few times she had seen Ben out of sorts, completely at loss for words. Was he angry? Was he mad at her for this happening?

Rey’s anxiety caught up with her as she moved forward a little to reach out for Ben. She didn’t want him angry with her for this—it wasn’t her fault! The last thing she needed was to be up the duff with two babies and one under the age of five. Her eyes screamed with worry, tears slowly burning and threatening to spill from them. Somehow, Ben sensed her shift in demeanor, and his internal protector instincts jumped into action. Once his eyes shifted into focus on her, he saw her terrified expression, the tears pooling those favorite eyes of his. Immediately, he reached out for Rey.

Sliding off the side of the table, belly poking out just slightly, she quickly sat in his lap, finding peace in his strong arms as he held her against him. These damn tears just kept flowing as emotions overtook the poor girl, and she didn’t even know why she was so upset. Ben squeezed her gently, rubbing a large hand down her back soothingly until her sobs became quiet sniffles. His head was leaned against hers that was buried in his neck, her fingers clutching onto the collar of his dark denim jacket. Her trembling was still there, but slower now, which Ben felt wouldn’t likely disappear until they talked about the elephant in the room. 

“Rey,” he said quietly, chest rumbling against her chin where it sat nuzzled into his neck. She could only reply to him with a pitiful hum, fingers fidgeting with the longer strands at the end of his hair. 

“I need you to look at me.”

Instead of moving to meet his eyes at his request, she hesitated in fear of meeting the disapproving or somewhat angry glare she had known too well on the faces of others. Never had he given her one that severe, but now their game of Life had changed and she wasn’t sure what his internal monologue was saying. 

“Please, Rey. This wasn’t a question,” Ben said firmly, knowing too well that she was also as stubborn as he. He felt a storm of emotions welling up inside of him like a hurricane, but he forced them down to be strong for his wife. Was it the best idea? No, but for the moment—sure. 

Right now, she needed the stability more than he did. 

Slowly, and timidly, Rey leaned up from her position, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She took a quiet sniffle as she finished drying her tears and met his steady gaze. Even with just the contact of his eyes sent a flood of relief into her, all the well knowing he was probably as much of a wreck on the inside as her. 

“Rey,” Ben repeated, taking his fingers and tilting her chin up to him just a tad, caressing the smooth skin there with a tenderness that sent her memories back. “We can do this. You can do this. You have created a baby before, nurtured it, and brought it to life.”

Rey sniffled. “But that was-was just one baby,” she said shakily as her breath felt hitched, like she was trying a little harder to take a breath. Ben shook his head at her calmly. 

“Just because it was one baby doesn’t mean you can’t create two. In fact, you’re now Super Duper Mom since there are two littles in there,” he reassured her. She was still sitting in his lap, but her side was pressed into his torso as one hand was wrapped around her body, the other moving from her chin to rest on her stomach. Her gaze turned down to the sight, a small smile finally reappearing back on her face as one of her hands met his, taking its place on top, protecting their little tribe. 

“It’s just so scary,” she said. The tears were still there, as were the sniffles, but they weren’t as intense anymore. “I never expected us to have two at once. We’ve only ever had Ivy, and I don’t want to be a bad mum to her when these two come along, or even because I’ll become practically immobile and docile instead of playing with her.”

Ben released a quiet chuckle at his wife’s thoughts, already picturing what it would be like to see Rey trying to play with their daughter while heavily pregnant with his two babies. His two babies, he thought to himself, feeling a sense of pride that their love was so deep that it created two little miracles. 

Science might counter him, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care if it was all up to genetics, it’s the picture he preferred to imagine in the moment that fear could have literally swept him up like a tidal wave. Of course, he was terrified that they were going to have to bring two babies into the world instead of one, and all the complications that might come along with it, but he shoved them all away so he could comfort Rey. 

“You’re not going to be a bad mother, nor will you ever will be. Quite frankly, you’re one of the best of them I’ve ever seen, and no one could parent Ivy better than you, Sweetheart,” he leaned his head down to kiss the side of her shoulder. “If you do end up becoming docile and immobile, Ivy and I will come to you instead.”

Rey giggled, leaning closer to him. He always, always, knew how to help center her focus back into the moment and to see the better sides of things. “But I’d feel like a lethargic loafer just wasting the day away sitting and not being able to move.”

“You’re growing two babies as well as trying to allow your body to survive as well. Of course you’re going to feel lethargic, but I promise we will do our best to accommodate to you when the time comes.” Ben gave her a warm smile, despite teasing her to lift her spirits. “For now, we both could benefit by focusing on what our next steps from here are.”

With a nod, she straightened up a little bit, using both of her hands to wipe her face dry of tears. “Promise me you both won’t leave me behind to do fun stuff.”

“Like we could ever leave Ivy’s mama behind,” Ben said as he slowly kissed her dried cheek. “She couldn’t even dare thinking of it.”

“I miss her. I’m in the need of a cuddle from my baby.”

“We’ll get her to you soon. But first we need to speak with your doctor and get our pictures. Plus, I want to take another good look to see if it’s actually two of them or if we are having a single son and he’s prematurely developed down there.”

He felt her hand hit his chest, a huff of air escaping his lips as Rey reprimanded him for the comment while trying not to grin at him. Eventually, she moved back onto the bed, Ben having gathered their things back together, and the doctor came to explain a number of things to them. Since this was a twin pregnancy, it automatically fit in the “high-risk” category, especially since she had already experienced a miscarriage. She also explained a whole different eating regimen for Rey since now she was eating for three. Her medicines were increased and more was prescribed, especially for severe nausea, which is what she was experiencing. 

Everything seemed daunting to the couple because of how risky twin pregnancies were. In fact, Ben remembered his mother telling him at Grandmother had almost died when she and Uncle Luke were born. Of course, that would never pass through Rey’s ears, and enabled him to keep his mind set on a successful adventure. 

Later on, they finally received their pictures and had a new appointment scheduled, Rey and Ben made it home. They went to pick up Ivy from Leia’s home, and when doing so, were greeted by the giggling darling who scurried through her Lolli’s house to see her parents. 

Ben and Rey had informed Leia of what was going on, especially since his mother had the supernatural ability to sense that there was a shift in their lives. All Ben had told her was that they both needed to go see Rey’s doctor and that Ivy should stay with her. Leia had a feeling she knew what it was about, but she kept her mouth closed. 

However, when she saw the two of them, both still wearing a metaphorical mask over their severe anxiousness, she knew something was definitely up. Ben had pulled Ivy up into his arms, holding her close to his torso a little tighter than he normally did, hiding his face in her dark, curly hair. Rey looked up at them with a forced grin, worry pooling in her eyes as she moved her gaze to Leia’s. 

Standing there in the middle of the hallway, Leia watched the distressed family with her arms crossed over her chest. With a nod of her head, she gestured for them to follow her into the kitchen. Taking the lead, she turned on her heel quietly and headed that way. This left Rey to direct her little tribe to follow the elder woman. 

Now they found themselves at the kitchen table, warm cups of tea sitting before them as Leia stared at the sonogram in front of her. This was not how they had planned—actually, they hadn’t even thought about it that far ahead—to tell Han and Leia, but the news of the day had been so overwhelming that they needed to tell someone. Leia was just the best option. 

She had the palm of her hand covering her mouth, eyes looking down at the image casually, taking it all in. Her own baby was going to be having twins. Twins! The idea of this happening had totally bypassed her awareness because of the difficult journey it was for them to bring Ivy into the world. Now, she was going to be a grandmother to three precious babies! 

But gracious, were their lives going to change. Leia was a twin herself. She and her brother Luke were a handful for their parents. There wasn’t much she remembered of her infant years, but she remembered how mischievous she and her brother were as they grew. Oh, how they raised hell for their parents, and when Han came into the picture, she remembered her mother praying to a bigger force above everywhere she went for some sort of peace to be made. She definitely knew how hard her father tried to keep Han away.

A smile etched across her face as she traced over the little blobs with her index finger. “So,” she began casually, “twins this time?”

“It appears so,” Ben said on an exhale, running a nervous hand through his hair, nearly afraid of what his mother was going to say. Rey sat next to him, desperately clinging onto stability in her emotions. She was wildly more emotional this time around and she found it quite a pest since her cry total of the day had already reached six. 

“This is very, very exciting, you two. I knew twins were in our family, and was sure it skipped a generation. But Luke’s children have them so it is safe to assume you might as well.”

“It was a shock to say the least,” Rey added quietly. Her hands were clasped together under the table. “And it still is,” Rey sniffled again, tears welling up once more as frustration bubbled inside her chest and a chuckle escaped her lips. “We just,” trailing off, she turned her gaze to Ben, who looked just as desperate for answers like herself. “We weren’t expecting this. We have Ivy, and we were mentally preparing for one more. And the weight of bringing two little people into the world—.”

Leia turned her loving gaze towards the poor girl, eyes softening at the sight of her. Immediately, she could sense that she was miserable not only because of the double surge of emotions running through her, but because she was a mother who doesn’t know how to accept the fact that she’s having two babies. She could feel how angry Rey was with herself for being so utterly lost at how to cope with this. 

The older woman stood from her seat and went over to the kitchen counter to grab a box of tissues. Returning, she watched as Ben scooted closer to his wife, intertwining his arm with hers and took one of the hands that was trembling ever so slightly. These parents were so terrified, and Leia knew the feeling. 

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” she said carefully, placing the box down into the table in front of Rey and taking the seat closest to the two of them. “But what I think is wrong is that you both assume no one will understand.”

“We know that people understand, but this is our third chance at having a baby, and—not that it’s a bad thing,” he stammered, trying to find the most accurate of words to describe how emotional he felt. “But—You and Dad only had me. You guys never experienced this kind of shock,” Ben concluded almost desperately, his fear slowly seeping through the cracks of his facade, and Leia merely gave him a humorous response. 

“Really, Ben? You don’t believe that your father and I never had the twin terror before?”

“What’s the twin terror,” Rey asked cautiously, sniffling behind a tissue as Ben refused to answer to his mother, knowing she was already right. 

“That’s what Han, Luke, and I call the feelings associated with finding out you’re having twins,” Leia said with a honeyed chuckle. “After Ben was born, there was a time where I thought I was pregnant again. And Heaven knows that Han and I didn’t need another baby. Ben was a surprise enough, and because we were both so active in his and our own lives, we didn’t have the time to raise a baby again. 

“As most women do, I ran to my Mama for advice or some kind of solution to my problem. We talked for a long time, just like the three of us are, and she told me something that caused so much turmoil inside me that I still remember the fear I felt. In her poised, but always loving, way, she told me that there would be a possibility one day that I will have twins.” Leia’s hands came up to the side of her face as her eyes widened at the deep feeling of the memory.

“Oh, I was so scared after that. I continued to frantically ask her question upon question as to what I would do, how could that happen, where did all of this start, and so on. She only gave me a smile and told me everything I wanted to know. The line of twins roots way beyond my field of knowledge of our family tree, but I know it was on my father’s side. His mother was a twin, and it skipped every other generation. She didn’t know why it was our family line that had to have the scare, but it’s what it was.”

With a sigh, she continued with the fond story of her mother’s assurance. Ben and Rey were watching and listening to Leia closely, clinging to the motherly affection she was radiating. “Then, Mama went on to tell me her own personal experience.”

—  
1990

“Mama, what do you mean that there is a ‘chance’ of twins? Luke and I are the only set in the family!”

Leia was frantic as she sat at the breakfast table in her parents’ kitchen. Her mother sat with her legs crossed on the opposite side of the table, hands wrapped around a tea cup, and a warm grin displayed on her gorgeous—disgustingly gorgeous, as Leia would say—features. She watched her daughter fist her hands in her long hair, dark brown eyes, identical to her own, staring right back at her in utter fear. 

“Leia, if you believe that you and Luke are so lucky to be the only twins in this family, then you are sorely mistaken.”

Her daughter’s mouth dropped open at her mother’s retort before quickly snapping it closed. The girl leaned back in her seat, arms crossed over her chest, squinting her eyes at the woman who was too much like her, in a more modest way, for their own good. 

“Do explain, Mother Dearest,” Leia responded with a resentful voice, feeling slightly offended but knowing her mother was well in the right here. “No one has truly divulged the secret genealogy of our ancestors.” 

In the background, she heard her darling Ben giggle as he played with his stuffed toys in the living room, nearly four with the biggest imagination possible. Her heart was soft for her Benny—her precious baby that was such a surprise for her and Han, and the only baby she truly wanted. What was she going to do if she was to have another—or possibly twins? She wanted to be this little boy’s mother and that be it. 

Her mother released a breath, setting her cup onto its saucer. Her dark, wavy hair fell behind her shoulders gracefully. For nearing her late-forties, she was still as gorgeous as Leia had ever known her to be. She was so jealous of her mother, but knew she received the best of her in her own life, and in the life that was her son. 

“Your grandmother was a twin. You were never fortunate enough to meet her, but Shmi had an identical twin sister named Myri. Even before that, so your father has told me, their father had a twin sister. My family also has traces of twins, but the trend slowly ended near when my great-grandmother was born.”

Leia was dumbfounded. How had she not known that her family was literally lined with so many instances of this chance? She and Luke were a part of a legacy! 

“Mama,” Leia began with a confused expression on her face, her body relaxing from it’s defensive position facing the older woman. “How come we never knew about our grandmother, and even Myri?”

The older eyes across from her softened, Padmé’s expression slowly turning downcast as she noticed something from behind Leia. Her precious grandchild shuffled his way into the kitchen, a stuffed teddy in his grasp. He was a little bit taller than the average four year old, but he was all the more perfect for it in his grandmother’s eyes. 

Ben stood in the doorway with a curious expression, watching two of his favorite people discuss something rather serious. His grandmother looked sad—why? No! Grandmother shouldn’t be sad! She’s always happy, so what happened? Did she get a scratch? Does she need a band-aid? Ben’s thoughts ran so quickly over the things his Mama would ask him if he was hurt or sad. How could he make her better? 

His grandmother extended her arms out to the boy, expression shifting from one of sadness to something else Ben couldn’t explain at the time, but flooded him with warmth. He scurried across the tile floor and allowed himself to be lifted into the loving arms waiting for him. 

“Your father lost his mother when he was just seventeen. The pain of it and his resentment drove him into solitude, especially while not having his own father in his life. That’s why you know Ben,” her kind, brown eyes looked to the little boy, “—the one you are named after,” she spoke in a small voice to the child, then looked back up to Leia. “—the way you do.”

Leia’s gaze moved down to her boy in her mother’s arms. Padmé was holding the back of his head with a gentle hand as he rested against her chest. Ben hugged his bear close to him, feeling the love that his grandmother protected him with.

Leia and Han named him after Ben, who was like a big brother to her father, and had a significant impact on her and Luke’s lives. He was one of the greatest, wisest, and wittiest men she and her husband knew, and it was an honor to name their child after him.

Tears could have poured down her face because of the overwhelming love she had for her family, but she willed them away—like the strong ass woman she was—just as the back door of the kitchen opened, revealing her father. 

“I can’t believe it,” he greeted in mock offense when he saw his favorite girls and grandson sitting at the small breakfast table. “You all actually began the tea party without me?”

He walked over to them with a playful smirk, his hand pressed against his chest like he was wounded. “I’m hurt. You know how I cleared my entire week for this.”

“Grandy,” Ben peered up to him, speaking with his newfound brave voice that Han helped him discover. “I didn’t have tea. I just got here,” he shrugged innocently, obliviously aware that he was inheriting the wit that ran through Leia’s family like a wildfire. Or, he had just listened too closely to Han and herself a number of times.

The women laughed at the boy’s outburst, where Anakin, though entirely amused, put his hands on his hips, fighting a grin from overtaking his features.

“I can’t believe it, Ben,” he repeated dramatically, putting on a little act for his grandson. The doe-eyed boy watched him in fascination, something Anakin treasured about becoming a father and a grandfather—the absolute joy these tiny people had for him in their lives. “They just went right ahead and didn’t save any for us!”

“Oh no!” Ben giggled, sitting up taller in his grandmother’s lap. His hair was starting to grow out more—those luscious Skywalker genes serving him well, Anakin would claim proudly—but his little ears always found a way to stick out from underneath the dark wispy hair.

“What are you doing home so early?” Padmé’s soft gaze turned up to her husband, who stepped closer to her and Ben, tousling his hair playfully. “Did you and Ben find everything you needed?”

“Painlessly, and I’m ever the more grateful for it. Even though the man is over sixty, he still has a way about giving me an earful.”

“Surely not,” Leia teased her father. The older man turned his gaze to his daughter, eyes twinkling at her comment. They were the same blue eyes that shimmered as she and Luke competed in box car races down the neighborhood street in the box cars they all built together. The same eyes that watched her give a speech to her student body at their high school graduation. They were even the eyes that peered into her hospital room when Ben was born.

“What makes you say that, Tink,” he jested with a raise of his eyebrow, using the nickname he gave her when she was a just a baby. “You don’t think I’ve outgrown Ben’s need to give me a talking to?”

“If he’s still doing it, then I think it’s safe to say no,” she said with a scrunch of her nose and a smile. There was no denying that she was the epitome of a daddy’s girl. She inherited the pure stubbornness and rash decision making from Anakin, as they both had the tendency to put themselves in more or a risk for not thinking about the consequences of their actions. Luke and Han were responsible for her earfuls, but it always seemed that she and Luke were giving them to Han instead.

Anakin stepped over to Leia, using a hand to brush back some of her hair behind her ear. He gave her a grin and a wink, then nudged the knuckles of his closed hand against her cheek gently. This was one of Anakin’s many ways of showing affection as the twins grew, and there was never a day Leia would refuse.

“What are you and Little Casanova doing here? Didn’t the three of you have a family day planned?”

Her father hadn’t changed much since she and Luke were little. His hair was still a darker shade of blonde, now slightly with an ashy brown giving the wavy locks dimension. He still stood with his strong, broad posture, and well over the heads of his three family members. Minus Han, who he painfully had to look up to slightly.

Luke was his identical counterpart, and in pictures, the only way you could tell the two apart was by the date of the photograph and the fact that her father looked a little more angsty than her tender-hearted brother. 

“We were, but Han had to go to the shop. There was some kind of large vehicle that needed extra hands.” Leia shrugged her shoulders, looking up to him with those puppy eyes he would fall victim to. “Regardless, I needed to talk to Mama for a little bit. And Ben,” she corrected her father who called her son what he called her husband that, in his opinion, was too wild and irresponsible for his perfect princess, “hoped his Grandy was here to play.” Her eyes turned to her son, who was looking up at his grandfather with curious light brown eyes, much like her own.

The man’s face turned towards the boy who waited patiently and contently to see what his grandfather was to do next. Padmé never begged for her grandchild’s attention, but simply gained it the more she kept him in a safe embrace. Ben might be the son of the wild card that was his daughter’s husband—who before had gotten her pregnant without being married to her—but the child was still his grandson. By golly, Ben was a Skywalker, too, and Anakin loved every ounce of that boy. 

“Ani,” his wife said quietly, brushing down the boy’s hair from where Anakin had messed it. “Why don’t you and Ben go play somewhere while Leia and I finish our conversation?”

It was never a question when Leia’s mother suggested things like that. Anakin nodded his head willingly and reached out a hand for the boy to take. “C’mon, Partner. Let’s go find something cool to do outside, like learning how to ride our trike .”

The small boy giggled excitedly, tapping his grandmother’s hands to let him out. Padmé, with a warm grin, help him slide his way out of her grasp and watched him take Anakin’s hand with his small one. Memories flooded back to her from when Leia and Luke would do the same with her young husband. 

“Or,” Ben tried, bouncing restlessly as the pair of best buds walked to the back door. “Or playing piggy-back rides!” 

Anakin tensed as he opened the back door, looking back between his wife and daughter almost regretfully for making his offer. “Yeah, Bub,” he agreed with a floundering expression written across his face. “Like piggy-back rides.” 

The two of them exited the house as Ben continued to engage his wearisome grandfather into random conversations about the adventures of his bustling four-year old life. A moment after they were finally gone, the ladies turned their attention back to one another reengaging in their conversation. 

“So, Dad lost his own mother before we were born? Why wouldn’t he ever tell us,” Leia asked curiously, elbows leaning against the wooden table, arms now crossed over one another. 

“A death of a loved one, especially his only parent, took a toll on Anakin,” Padmé said with a melancholic gaze. “He had still not been healed from the tragedy, since you both were born two years after. He was barely strong enough to tell me, not until we were married and I was expecting the two of you. We promised each other that we wouldn’t let the baby know until we thought it was time.”

“The baby? As in, singular?”

“Yes, Leia,” Padmé let out a chuckle, brown eyes sparkling with amusement. “There were no fancy ultrasound machines around like you were fortunate to have while expecting Ben. I never knew I was having twins until the two of you arrived.”

Leia’s eyes sat wide, terrified for her mother, twenty odd years after the fact. “Jeez, Mama,” she said on an exhale. “How did you cope with the fact that now you had to raise two babies?”

“The minute I saw you two, squirming, slimy, and squealing,” the older woman smiled at the memory. “I knew that I had one job to do, and it was to raise the both of you with the best of my ability.”

“Were you scared?”

“Oh, terrified,” the woman cried, eyes just as wide as Leia’s. “Anakin and I were not ready for two babies. I was twenty-eight and he had just turned twenty-three. I knew he wasn’t ready for a child anyway, still being a one himself.” Her mother paused, pressing her lips together, remembering the many difficult conversations she and her husband had over having children so quickly. 

With an inhale, she changed her demeanor. “When I was supposed to be sleeping one time, I watched him sit between both of your cots.” She giggled happily. “He looked like he had just opened the best present on Christmas morning as he stared down at the two of you. I was still groggy, but I could still see what he was doing. It looked as if the two of you were holding onto one of his fingers on each hand.” Pausing again, she clasped her hands together. “Oh, it was one of the sweetest sights I had ever seen. And thankfully, it wasn’t the last.” Tears were welling in her doe eyes at the fondness she had for her lovely life. 

“He spoke to the two of you as if he had all the secrets about the world. About the exciting adventures you two would take, the future, and how the world used to be before you made your entrance. He told you both about how much he and I loved you, and that despite there being two of you—whichever one was the surprise, he said specifically—that there was nothing in this world we wanted more.”

This time, tears really did spill down Leia’s face as she listened to her mother. Her father had been the one who was more that ready to accept the fate thrown into the new parents’ hands. The one who was still a kid, just as young as she and Han. The woman who Leia thought was an indestructible wall was actually terrified out of her whims when two infants were birthed from her. But Anakin took it in stride, more prepared than ever to love both of those children with the intensity of a wildfire. 

Her mother was now crying silently too as she reached out for her daughter’s small hands. Leia reached for hers as well, the pair reiterating the intimate bond that they shared. Then, the older woman spoke. 

“Whenever I truly woke up, it was barely dawn when I saw him smiling at me in such a way I had never seen before. It was full of love, Leia. Undeniable and unyielding love. He said to me, ‘Padmé, you have given me the greatest gift in the world, and I could never cease my praises for you. We are going to raise the hell out of these babies, and they’re going to be the happiest kids alive. We can do this.’ And that’s when I knew that I was ready. Completely and utterly ready for life with the two of you now in it. 

“So, Leia,” she squeezed the girl’s hand. “I want to tell you the same thing. If this comes to pass for you and Han, know that it is possible. Your father and I are right here to help you. We’ve raised the two of you, and for goodness sake, Han as well.” The two of them shared a light-hearted laugh at the truth behind her words. “And we were, and are, right here for your Ben. So, if this fate were to play out in your life, you are not alone.”

Leia nodded her head, feeling assured by not only her mother’s words, but because of the connection between them, something deeper than Leia’s words could describe, but she also knew all too well. Padmé squeezed her daughter’s hand with a watery smile, only a way a mother could. 

—

Rey was crying at the heartfelt story Leia told, instinctively feeling the motherly love that radiated between Padmé and Leia. And Ben, her Ben, was just a sweet baby, Ivy’s age. And Anakin too, the protective and loving grandfather she never knew. Goodness, how her heart would have loved to meet them, Padmé and her Anakin, but it just wasn’t meant to be. 

She hoped her first little baby was playing with their great-grandfather in whatever place they were now. And with that thought, she cried harder behind her hands. 

Ben was very overwhelmed by all the emotions in the room, especially by the uncontrollable cries of his wife that had seemed to spontaneously, yet too frequently, resumed. He worried about her, knowing her history of a mood disorder. Aware that this news would throw her for an entire loop, he especially took into consideration the wild hormones that rocketed through her body. And knowing himself and his struggle with a mood disorder, he was nervous for their next steps. His face was flushed with embarrassment at his role in the story. Eventually, his hand found its way to Rey’s back, rubbing circles soothingly in attempts to console her weeping. Leia leaned over, pulling her hands from the girl’s beautiful face, and wiped away the tears from her eyes—just like she did for Ben. 

With a lighthearted chuckle, she looked at the two of them with a steady gaze. “I know today has been very overwhelming for you both, and I’m sorry to make it even more with this little memory. But I think it might be helpful for the both of you to know. You’re not the only ones who have been scared and feel like your whole world will turn upside down. You’ve got us. You’ve got your friends, and anyone else who will most assuredly love those precious babies. Because, quite honestly, who can’t? You both make such angel babies, and I get to love them every day.”

Rey‘s tears had began to cease, a chuckle rising from her chest, which now felt considerably lighter. Leia was right—not only did she and Ben made the cutest babies, but they were going to be loved and cared for by their parents, grandparents, and those who wanted to be a part of their little lives. Ben gave his mother a shy grin, his free hand rubbing the back of his neck in a grateful manner.

“Now, both of you need to perk up. Your little girl in there needs parents who aren’t going to be shaken by the fact that there will be two little ones joining the family. Soon, you’ll have to tell her.”

“We know,” the young woman replied with a sniffle. She grabbed another tissue to dry her cheeks. “I not sure how we should, though. I feel like it’s going to be a lot for her to take, but nothing at the same time.”

Leia hummed, brushing back the loose hair around Rey’s face. “I would venture to say do it as if you were going to do it with just one baby. Just explain to her that instead of one, there are two. She might not pay any mind now, but she will.”

Ben nodded his head, turning his gaze in the direction of his little girl playing in the other room. Soon, she was going to be a big sister, and he just hoped that she would cope fairly easily with it since it had just been her for so long. 

Quite frankly, she was their little rainbow baby after the hardest storm of their lives, after all. 


	19. No Arguments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Every day, now spent  
> Underneath white flags.  
> Every intention, eclipsed  
> By every stain of the past.  
> There's no argument-  
> Fairness is a ghost.  
> There's no argument-  
> It is a rare bird at the most.  
> But every sighting is proof.  
> And every heart-beat proves it too:  
> That only love can change the shape  
> Of such permanent truths.”  
> \- No Arguments; Sleeping At Last  
> —  
> Ben and Rey decide it’s time to tell Ivy about their big news, but afterwards, the night doesn’t play out exactly how they both wanted.

February 2020

“What does that mean?”

Ivy’s hazel eyes peered up at her father, who was laying next to her in her bed. Ben was proped up slightly as the little girl snuggled into his side, both of her parents in her bed bedtime, reading a book to her—a routine they started early after she was born. Rey, as usual, was on Ivy’s other side, playing with her hair gently and keeping one arm around the precious girl. She was laying on her left facing her husband and little girl as Ben’s college shirt pooled over the small swell of her stomach, keeping her in the clear from being totally noticeable. 

It had been two weeks since they found out the news and they still had no idea how to tell everyone. Leia called periodically to ask how things were, and Ben had to tell her how anxiety got the better of them every single time. Sometimes he’d get a scolding, but Leia knew that this was their moment to share. Rey had been the most anxious, and despite her protests, had found it too emotional to do. There were always tears shed when she thought about the possible ways Ivy could react to knowing she’s going to be a big sister to not only one, but two babies. 

Ben was there to talk her down each time, growing more and more confused and just as frustrated as her because of how her emotions have raged more severely than last pregnancy. Rey blamed it on the fact that there were two babies, so twice the amount of emotions. However, Ben carefully informed her that she would need to be able to control them at work and until their friends knew. This caused a light shedding of—you guessed it—more tears because of her embarrassment at her lack of self-control. 

She was fine, and she knew her husband was right. Hopefully one day, she’ll be able to get through the entire twenty-four hour period without sobbing. Ben was worried that she would become dehydrated by the amount of water that exclusively poured from her eyes. 

Somehow, by some kind of miracle, the couple decided it was finally time to tell Ivy. They had the perfect plan, timing up her bedtime with the introduction of a new book—specifically one about becoming a big sister for the first time. Rey and Ben went to the local bookstore to scan the shelves desperately for ‘Children’s Literature,’ knowing that this time was so special for them and their little girl. Ben, who always read to her, and always made the characters come to life in the best of ways, knew this would be special for them. 

He was so thrilled, but also burdened by the anxiousness his wife’s aura was radiating. 

Ben adored his wife and was supremely sympathetic to her rapidly changing emotions and changing lifestyle, but wow did it take a toll on the both of them. Watching Rey sob into his chest every day was something his heart could barely handle anymore. Quite frankly, he wanted to cry himself. The emotions were so overwhelming and the fact that he would be a father to three babies, jumping from one to three instantly, sent his head spinning. Was he to be a wonderful father like his own and his grandfather? Would his greatest fear of not providing for Ivy the same come true?

There were times where he had to just stop thinking, place his hands on the back of his neck and lower his head to bring him to the moment. As a child, his mother always talked him down from these slight instances of panic by having him place his hands over his chest, crossed like an ‘x,’ and his fists pressing like pulses, one after another, until the tight feeling subsided. He wasn’t going to lie, he’s had to do that a number of days when he wasn’t around Rey. She couldn’t see him emotionally unstable while she herself was a bag of them. 

This had been an issue lately in their lives as Rey felt the stagnant shift in her husband’s demeanor, and as he was slowly closing himself off from her. She had a feeling that she knew why he was doing it, but was shocked because he hadn’t been so distant in such a long time. The thought of this nearly made her sick as she needed him more than ever, and because of her chronic fear of being abandoned. 

He had promised her forever, regardless of whatever storm came their way. She knew this, but this storm hadn’t seemed to have ceased, and she was growing concerned. 

Ben closed the book as he finished, tilting his head down to the small girl. “What confuses you, Little Vine?”

“The story. Why is it new,” Ivy questioned curiously, those beautiful hazel eyes still peering up at him. Ones identical to the woman’s next to her, the one he fell in love with so many years ago. 

Ben let out a small chuckle, tilting the book cover to show her again. “Mama and I wanted to read this to you because we have something to tell you.”

“Are we getting a kitty?” Ivy sat up from where she was laying, maneuvering herself between her parents and sitting on her knees. She wiped her curly hair from her face, looking at them with excitement in her eyes. Rey watched her daughter with a fondness in her gaze, slowly propping herself on her elbow. 

“Unfortunately no, Darling, we are not getting a kitty,” Rey said with a slight pout, watching as Ivy’s face fell from its excited expression, then transforming into curiosity. 

“Then what is it?”

“Where did you get the idea of a cat, Ivy,” Ben asked her with a quirked brown and smirk on his lips, sitting himself up higher to meet her eye level. Ivy shrugged her shoulders, becoming shy at her father’s matching inquisitiveness and teasing. 

“I dunno. Karlie from school has one as she says it’s lots of fun to play with,” she said. Ben smiled, holding out his hands for the little girl, indicating her to come to him. Ivy, with the grace of a complete four year old, stood up on the bed with a wobbly balance before lightly bouncing herself over to him. She hopped into his arms, giggling happily as he held her close to him, catching her in his strong grasp and situating her so she could sit in his lap. 

“Cats are fun, but Karlie doesn’t have a dog like we do,” Rey added, watching them with extreme adoration for her little family. 

Ivy reached for the book that now sat next to Ben. He helped her grab it, holding it in one hand in front of her as the other was wrapped around her protectively. “She has a brother like the girl in the story does.”

“Does she have a little sibling,” Ben questioned her again, tilting his head to the side and down to look at her face. She was looking intently at the book, and inside to the page where the little girl was meeting a bundle of blue blankets. 

“Yeah, but she says he cries a lot. But she plays with him lots too. He’s too little to go to school.” 

“What do you think about your friend being a big sister,” Rey followed up, still looking at her intently, feeling Ben’s eyes glance to her before back at Ivy and the book. The girl shrugged her shoulders. 

“I dunno. I don’t know her brother a lot. Just her,” she answered, flipping the pages carefully. 

“Do you think it’s cool that she’s a big sister?” Ben’s eyes watched her carefully, having whether or not she was enthused about the topic at hand or not. He felt Rey’s slight nervousness as the conversation proceeded, but tried his best to remain calm for both of his girls’ sakes. 

“I don’t know what that means,” Ivy said plainly. Ben and Rey shared a look that showed their confusion as well as their lack of enthusiasm as to whether their daughter was trying to be sarcastic. 

Damn, were they going to have to watch the way they talk to each other around her. 

“Being a big sister? You don’t know what that means,” asked Ben. 

Ivy shook her head. With an inhale, Ben explained to her what it meant to the best of his fatherly ability.

“Well, Sweetheart. Becoming a big sister means that a mama and daddy have a baby after their first baby was born.” 

“They bring the baby home from the hospital after they are born to join the family,” supplied Rey, watching her daughter closely with hopeful eyes. Ivy looked between the two of them curiously, like she knew something was up. 

“I don’t have a baby brother or sister,” she answered very plainly. Rey gave her a little smile as Ben held her closer to him lovingly, heart in his throat like the day he proposed to his wife. 

“Not yet, but soon you will,” he said finally, kissing the side of her head. Her brows furrowed as her gaze continued to dance between them. 

“Soon?” Her little mind was so confused, and Rey’s heart melted for her. She sat herself up carefully, opening to the back cover of the book, presenting her daughter with a sonogram image taped to the back of the book. 

“Yes, Ivy. Mama’s going to have a baby soon,” she said carefully and quietly, for only the three of them to hear. Ivy’s hazel eyes stared at the image, mouth forming a little circle as she took everything in. One of Ben’s hands came up to show her the two individual little white blobs on the dark image. 

“Not just one baby, but two. Mama is going to have two babies soon,” Ben added slowly, letting her mind take a minute to process. Her head bounced up as she looked at Rey with bright eyes. 

“Mama! You’re having two babies,” she asked excitedly, which immediately triggered Rey’s tears again. But this time, they were some of the happiest tears she had shed. 

“Yes, baby. You’re going to be a big sister to two little babies.” Rey giggled as she watched her daughter’s face light up even more. She wiped her tears away as Ivy squealed, bringing the book closer to her face to see the blobs. Ben was ecstatic, heart finally feeling lighter after telling the girl he that made him most nervous. He didn’t want his little girl to be upset! The last thing he needed was a grumpy four-year-old and a pregnant wife who was emotional already. 

“They don’t look like babies!” Ivy dropped the book away from her face, looking at her Mama with the identical confused expression Ben had witnessed on Rey a million times. Rey smiled, brushing back the girl’s hair from her delicate face. 

“Not yet. But it won’t be long until they look like babies and they’ll make Mama’s belly bigger,” Rey explained to her. 

“They make your belly bigger?” Ivy’s expression turned skeptical as she looked down to her own stomach, placing her hands over her torso. Rey shook her head, giggling as Ben watched them, this time answering instead. 

“Two little babies are growing inside of Mama’s belly, Sweetheart. Even now her belly is different.”

“I wanna see!” Ivy’s eyes lit up as she stared at her Mama. Rey relented, the natural feeling of her gazing at her little bump returning, remembering the memories of her and Ben talking to the bump Ivy made years ago. She laid back against the pillows and lifted up the material of Ben’s shirt right to underneath her bralette. The swell was definitely more pronounced, and Rey absolutely felt the difference between this bump and her last. Ivy crawled towards her, little hands going up to timidly touch her Mama’s skin. With encouragement from her mother, Ivy proceeded cautiously, little fingers rubbing the stretch of skin, feeling how taught it was because of the growing babies. Rey’s right hand went down to meet hers, guiding her along the curve, allowing her to press down gently. 

Ivy’s giggles resonated in her bedroom, warming her parents’ hearts so joyfully. Ben joined in as well, talking quietly to his daughter, and even to his two littlest babies that were safe and sound. Tears fell from Rey’s eyes as Ben and Ivy spoke to the twins, even though she knew they couldn’t hear yet. It meant all the more to her that they approached the reveal this way, basting in the glorious sweetness of her little family’s joy. 

—

Later that night, after tearing themselves apart from Ivy’s clingy form, Rey and Ben made their way to the bedroom. With a release of a breath, Ben began to get ready for bed by bee-lining straight to the shower. Rey felt it odd for him not to say anything when they entered the room, but tried not to push it. They just had such a good moment, for the first time in two weeks, and she didn’t want to ruin it. But she knew that they needed to talk about it. 

Talk about the great divide that is wedged between them. 

She waited for him to shower by entering the bathroom as well, brushing her teeth and taking the rest of her prenatal medications and vitamins for the day. It was hard for her not to want to stare at Ben through the glass shower door, but sometimes she couldn’t help it, now with her rabid sex drive and her attractive husband. He kept himself in such a great physique that made her feel lucky every day. With his help, she’s made three little masterpieces, and that’s exactly what they were because of the two of them. 

A smile rugged at the corners of her lips as she thought about the joy behind creating babies with the love of her life. Ben finished his shower, using his hands to shake out the water still left in his hair, steam coincidentally fogging up the glass from his hips down. Rey caught a glimpse of his muscular body, thankful that he wasn’t desperately concerned with his physique, but still kept up the work. 

He grabbed the nearest towel as he stepped out of the shower, wrapping it around his waist as Rey slid on top of the counter, eyeing him fondly. Water was still dripping down his bare torso, dark, wet hair laying shaggy against his head, porcelain skin glistening in the light of the bathroom. His light brown eyes flicked up to meet her gaze, a small flush burning in his cheeks as he caught her staring unapologetically. 

“See something you like,” he asked cautiously, still finding a way to tease her dispute feeling super embarrassed. She nodded her head, giving him a cocky grin. 

“You,” she answered, swinging her feet. Ben chuckled lightly, walking towards the sink next to where Rey was seated, preparing his toothbrush for the next step of his routine. 

“Well, I’m glad I could be your entertainment for the evening. I’m sure it was quite a show.”

“You’re still completely wet, Ben,” she said with a roll of her eyes, taking one of her hands and running it down his bare chest. This sent sensations down Ben’s body that he wasn’t ready for tonight. But he reciprocated with a flirt smirk. 

“As are you, Angel,” he whispered to her, letting the remark linger between them both as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the small spot in front of her ear. A sweet spot, they both knew, and he just played her dirty. With a sharp inhale, Rey shifted in her seated position, straightening her back. She itched first his touch, but she knew that the two of them were not ready for that. Not yet. 

Ben brushed his teeth and Rey squirmed on top of the counter, turning her gaze to him after she regained some composure. They stayed there like that, in a domestic silence, both nearly afraid to step a toe in the wrong direction, making tempers fly rabidly. Or at least, to Rey, this was true. Ben couldn’t say anything with a toothbrush in his mouth, so Rey Buches up whatever nerve she had left and decided to go for it. 

“Ben?” Her voice was quiet in the large space of their bathroom. Ben hummed in response, finishing up the rest of his task. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes?” Ben’s eyebrow quirked up at the question, voice skeptical, but not condemning. “Everything should be okay, is it not?”

“Well,” Rey said shyly, legs swinging from their dangling position on the countertop. “I just feel that something’s off. Maybe it’s just me, but you’ve seemed quite distant lately.”

Ben shook his head a tad, gazing at her with questioning eyes. “I don’t think I’ve been any more broody lately than I always am.”

Rey let out a small breath, sliding off of the counter and stepping towards him. He gazed down at his wife, utterly lost at what she was trying to get at. 

“You haven’t talked to me about how you’ve been feeling lately. Emotionally, that is,” she spoke, hazel eyes looking into him earnestly. “I’m worried about you.”

Ben sighed heavily. “Sweetheart, there’s nothing to be worried about. I’m fine—perfectly fine.” His hands came to rest on her small shoulders as he places a delicate, and rather stiff, kiss to the top of Rey’s head. She knew he was lying to her, or else they wouldn’t have this awkward tension surrounding them like pollution. Her face merely presented a frown to him when he pulled back. 

“I don’t believe you,” she admitted. “Things have been a little rough, but you haven’t been yourself.”  
Ben shook his head and gave her a grin she didn’t recognize. 

“I promise, Rey. I’m okay.” With that, he exited the bathroom, holding onto the towel that was draped over the lower part of his waist. Rey hurried after him once he left, her small steps not standing a chance against his naturally long strides, especially now with her slightly extra weight. Standing in the middle of the bedroom, she huffed out a breath as she watched him approach his dresser, grabbing a clean change of clothes. 

“You don’t seem okay, Ben. Every time I approach you, you don’t talk to me like you did. It’s very short and I don’t know what I’ve done.”

“I don’t talk to you any differently than I’ve always have.”

“Then why, every single time I try and touch you, or talk to you about anything serious, you back off?”

“I don’t back off,” he shrugged, rummaging through the folded shirts inside the wooden dresser drawer. “I just don’t have anything to say.”

“Ben,” Rey said with a distressed sigh, eyes pleading to her husband through the mirror above their shared dresser. “You have built your life surrounded by words, and I dare not believe for a moment that you are at a loss for them.”

Ben stood there silently, bottom lip slipping between his teeth as he mulled over the weight of Rey’s statement. Every time Rey had come up to him recently, he had been extremely closed off, not a fathom in mind to try and open any more doors of emotion that he could spare. He was exhausted by how frequently his wife became upset over the smallest of things. Yes, she couldn’t help it, but he also wanted to cry over these things too. 

So why did he have to be the one who was always strong? 

Resentment would bubble in his chest from time to time as he realized how he had always been the one who had been the stable rock. There was never a moment where he felt allowed to crack. When it happened, they had to go get therapy—which wasn’t a bad thing at all, but he felt like it emphasized how unprepared Rey was for him and his struggles. 

But he was always at the bat for hers. 

“Maybe you just catch me at the moments where I’m busiest. There’s been a lot going on at work and I have to come home with it,” he lied, face blank as his facade had been mastered after many years of hiding away his true feelings for the sake of others. Rey took a step forward, arms crossed over her chest, little bump poking out slightly from beneath Ben’s shirt. 

“Your work keeps you so busy that you can’t sit aside a few minutes to talk to your family?” Her voice sounded pained, eyes gazing at him to desperately trust her with his troubles, his pain. 

“No,” he grumbled out before he snapped his mouth closed, knowing Rey was going to turn his words around on him and grow upset. “My work never comes before you.”

“That’s what you said, though. Do you think it’s a bloody pleasant feeling to come home to a husband, and father of your children, who has completely shoved you out of his life?”

“Rey, there hasn’t been a moment where I have done that. I don’t deliberately shove people away.”

“Then why does it feel like you’re shoving me away every time I try to reach out?” Tears were pooling in her eyes now, something Ben was no longer surprised by, and honestly made the anger in his heart pound viscously. But he knew that was his wife and he had no right to act out on the anger. 

The statement caught Ben by surprise though, hearing the sadness in her voice. He knew it wasn’t her fault, necessarily. It was his own problem, something he had unfortunately started doing as he grew up. When he ventured to deep in his thoughts, he pushed everyone out of his life, which made everything much worse. It’s why he became one of the outcasts in school, one of the ones who got lost in their heads too frequently. Kaydel had learned to deal with it, just sitting with him until he finally came to his senses. But she had remained the only one for a while to do so. 

When Rey entered his life, there was no time for brooding. She brought out the better of him, pulling him out of his mind that often led him into seasons of depression. The light she shined into his life was like the rays of the sun, which made the flower of his heart grow fall and blossom with life and thankfulness. 

Witnessing the only light in his life be dampened by random bouts of sadness and despair took a toll on him. He saw someone regularly about this, but knowing how close he and his wife were, if one was hurt, the other felt the pain. It’s what happened with their miscarriage. 

Rey might have been the one to physically experience the pain, but Ben had not even had a connection with that baby. It was his child, but because he wasn’t female, he wasn’t able to make that bond that Rey and the child had. He only went off of what she told him, and watching her grow and change with each day. He had tremendous hopes for this child, and definitely laid awake for many nights wondering if he was going to be a good father. 

After the day they lost that sweet child, he slowly slipped into depression. However, he had to hide it as Rey exhibited more signs of distress. He was often overlooked by friends and family as Rey revived many condolences for her loss. Of course, people grieve for them as a couple, but never just for the father of the child. Ben was just as in love with that baby as Rey was, if not more because of the blind faith he had put into the bond he would have with them. If Rey knew the bond she had with the baby, then Ben could only have the hope that he would have something just as incredible as that. 

His depression was a slow manifest. Anger and anxiety swallowed him whole until the large argument the two of them had, which sent them desperately calling therapist after therapist to be seen for counseling. Once they did, and they discussed the lack of consideration of his own pain in the same light as hers, the two began to heal. 

Since then, they’ve been able to do so. But lately, ever since Rey was consumed with raging emotions, there was little opportunity for them to do so. He constantly treaded on thin ice when it came to sharing feelings with her now. So eventually, he just stopped. 

And that’s where they were: Rey, feeling lonelier than ever, and Ben, brooding and exiling himself to the recesses of his darkest thoughts. 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he responded finally, the tone of his voice domineering and signifying the conclusion of the discussion. As he pulled his clothes out of the drawer with a clenched jaw, Rey padded her way over to him, arms still crossed defensively over her chest, looking up at him incredulously. 

“Seriously? This is how the conversation is going to end? You’re going to shut me out—again?” 

“Rey, leave it alone. I said that I wasn’t willing to discuss this any further,” he responded, eyes steering clear of her form next to him as he clutched his clothes in one hand and the towel in the other. He turned on his heel, hearing her scoff audibly as he treaded over to the bathroom to change. 

“Are you seriously going to do this? No, absolutely not. You have no right to demand anything from me if you’re doing to leave me in the bloody dark about your mental state and the state of our marriage,” she spit out, following him with angry footsteps, fists clenched from where she dropped her hands to her sides. 

“It’s not a demand, Rey. It’s a declaration. I don’t want to share my thoughts on this. I’m fine, and everything will be fine.” He stepped into the room, avoiding her insulted expression as he closed the bathroom door to change, needed a space away from her. 

“Like fucking hell it is, you prat,” she exclaimed, seething with anger behind the door as he changed. Her face was flushed as her blood pressure skyrocketed, eyes nearly seeing red because of how furious she was at him. 

“Watch what you decide to say. I won’t stand for you calling me such terrible fucking British insults,” he responded, clumsily pulling on his briefs and clothes as they argued. 

“I’ll do as I please. But at least I’m telling you how I feel!”

Ben had finally had enough. If she wanted the door to be open, then by all fucking means, he’ll take the whole thing down. 

He opened the door suddenly, making Rey jump back away from the white wooden door that separated them. His eyes were dark, and his stature was defensive and ominous. “You want to know what I’m really thinking, Rey? Yo seriously want to get a look at what‘s inside my mind?”

Rey stood there speechless, eyes wide, for a moment before she found the nerve to respond. “Yeah, I do, actually.”

The furious man didn’t even have to say a word as he stormed out of the bathroom and over to the nightstand by his side of the bed. He pulled out a journal he kept there and flipped to the pages that had been his hardest, yet best writings. Walking over to his wife, he shoved the journal into her hands. 

“Fucking have at it,” he hissed at her, giving her a glare that she had never seen before, causing her whole insides to tremble in fear of what he was capable of, and what was going to happen next to the both of them. Once he completed his last task, he stormed across the bedroom and left without a single word. And there stood Rey, speechless, heartbroken, and utterly alone with just the two little babies inside of her and the depressing thoughts of her husband poured onto pages. 

—

Ben was laying horizontally on their living room couch as he watched the rain pour from the large window before him. He had been staring out at the raging storm for about an hour and a half now, finally gaining some composure over his anger after his fight with Rey. 

He didn’t know what to do next. Was he supposed to be the one to apologize? Why should he when he wasn’t even the one who said the hurtful things? Sleep was his farthest friend as he continued to dwell in the chaos of his own mind. 

It wasn’t until the clock had reached nearly one in the morning when he heard footsteps padding into the living room. Cautiously, and silently, his eyes moved to where the figure was making her way into the living room. There Rey appeared, rumpled and looking as if she had been sobbing the entire time. Ben wasn’t surprised, yet again, but it hurt him even worse because he knew it was because of him. But this time, the tears had come to a stop and she was staring at him with a steady gaze. 

She sniffled once before she stood in front of him, hands clasped underneath her tiny bump innocently. “Ben.”

“Yes, Rey,” he answered quietly, voice just as rough as hers as his light brown eyes gazed up at her image. 

She stepped closer to him timidly, silently asking if she could join him on the couch. Instinctively, he maneuvered his body over to allow her some sitting space on the comfortable cushions. Slowly she lowered herself to him, meeting his eyes with her own, hands still clasped in her lap. 

“When we were married, you and I vowed to each other that no matter what, each of us were to be the support for the other. Through any storm, trial, or unrequested moment of difficulty.”

Ben nodded his head, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at the pure, authentic form of his wife—exhausted from fighting, crying, and making human beings. He saw how this took a toll on her, but yet she still fought through it. And this time, she fought alone. 

“You’ve been that and more to me. But I haven’t done the same for you,” she said remorsefully, hand moving to brush away the dark, wavy hair from his face. “And nothing I could say or do make up for that vow I have broken.”

Ben’s eyes closed as his features were still furrowed, head shaking slightly. He didn’t want her to feel bad about not asking about him. There were times she was, but most of the time, he had shoved his feelings away so that she could be okay. She could be happy. Before he could respond, Rey interjected. 

“No. It’s my turn to talk. You’ve said more than enough,” she declared, referencing his journal entries. “And that’s why I’m here right now. I’m not leaving your side until you feel secure.” 

He opened his eyes slowly, dark eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones that made Rey’s heart melt. His eyes glistened with tears, pain, remorse, and utter torment by his own thoughts radiating into Rey’s mind. She knew he was hurting, and now it was her time to hold him. 

“Let me help you feel safe, my love,” she said steadily as she reached out for Ben. Instantly, he swallowed her up into his embraced, carefully laying them down on the comfortable couch. His head was now laying on her chest, tears streaming into the fabric of his shirt on her as he wrapped himself around her small form. He was mindful not to hurt her, and where he wrapped his arm around her waist. Confirming her approval for him to cling to her, she held him closer to her body, hand coming up to run through his soft, wavy hair soothingly as he released all the emotions he had been pending up for so long. 

They stayed like this for the rest of the night. They talked for a little over an hour about his fears of not being an adequate father of three, about how he fears Ivy’s contentment and her approval of her siblings, of being exactly what she needs in this period of their lives, the dark and depressing thoughts he had about being useless when they lost their baby, and everything he had written down. Rey managed to not shed a single tear as her husband lamented to her. Her heart broke for him as she held him close, allowing him to release those pent up emotions in whatever way he felt comfortable. Doing so, she played with his hair, scratching his scalp in the way she knew would calm him as he vented. 

He had done this multiple times for her; for years now, he held her close and reassured her, his words like honey to her shaken spirit. In the journal, he documented almost every time he had to be strong for her. However, it wasn’t just for numbers sake, it was also because he had to be strong enough for himself too, and it’s the only way he knew how to release. 

As they conversed, she reassured him of all his worries, promising that he is all she’ll ever need—that wasn’t her babies—and that he was already a fantastic father to Ivy. She told him that those babies were lucky to have him as a Daddy, which lightened his mood and brought back the grin Rey always loved so much. All the while, the tension slowly melting from them, and warmth radiating between their bodies, especially where Rey’s belly that nested their babies pressed against Ben’s chest, right where his heart was beating. 

They were going to be okay, one step at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thank you for all the reads, kudos, and love for our favorite family. I think I’ve begun to incorporate a plot along with some backstory as well. Let me know how you feel about this! 
> 
> Please feel free to leave any comments or ideas you’d like to see them do in future chapters! 
> 
> All my love! X


	20. Chandeliers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “in our pale, imperfect light,   
> our palms will stabilize,   
> and the brightness   
> will close our heavy eyes,   
> when we dream of you.   
> we'll dream with you.”  
> \- Chandeliers; Sleeping At Last  
> —  
> Rey and Ben have finally let the cat out of the bag, and it causes everyone to react uniquely, especially Han

They had finally done it. 

Everyone that needed to know now knew of Rey’s pregnancy, and the big news received excited and confused reactions. 

The first trimester had past by so quickly for them that they hadn’t realized Rey was thirteen weeks along until their appointment with Rey’s doctor. The twins were doing just fine and Mama’s overall health was in good condition. No risks yet, but they were on watch to see if she would need to be put on bed rest towards the end of her gestation.

Rey waited until after Kaydel’s flowery baby shower to reveal the secret, choosing to wait another month or so until she could no longer hide behind Ben’s shirts. Of course, she hadn’t fully outgrown them, but now, the fabric was stretched out over the expense of her swelling stomach. 

The other pregnant Mama, sweet Kaydel, was so close to her due date whenever Rey and Ben shared the news. The gang had finally gathered together again for the first time in a while. Their individual lives had become so hectic that it had truly been since New Year’s Eve since the last time they saw each other. Finn was transitioning into a new position at work, Rose was still teaching but rounding the time of the year for test preparation. Kaydel was slowly cooking that little baby, sweet Willa Mae, and Poe was slowly coming to terms to being a father. The two weren’t an item yet but consented to the idea of co-parenting until they were ready to decide where they stood. Poe was too emotional to discuss it and Kaydel was too annoyed to keep attempting to discuss what they were, and failing when Poe became too anxious about it. 

The day the couple told the others was a night at Kaydel’s, since she really couldn’t move much farther than the couch lately. Rey understood completely and was right there with her. They all were together, plus little Ivy, who cuddled into Finn’s side appropriately where she usually found herself when they hung out. Poe was busy trying to make the space comfortable for Kaydel, who kept telling him to sit still and enjoy the company. Rose was happily petting the little dog that joined Kaydel’s side over the years, content with being with the ones she loved most again. 

“We’ve got news as well,” Rey said as she rejoined the group from her trip to the restroom down the hall. She was wearing one of Ben’s London sweatshirts he purchased when they went abroad several years ago, a longer shirt underneath that poked out the bottom like a skirt, and leggings. She was still able to hide the bump pretty sneakily, but she knew it was time to tell them. Ivy could tell plain as day her Mama’s tummy was bigger—which she greeted every day with two little kisses for each of her upcoming siblings. 

“News?” Rose looked up from where she was petting the dog to one of her best friends, who was standing before them in the living room. 

Kaydel’s eyebrow quirked as she made herself comfortable on the couch, hands resting on the top of her own large bump. “You guys aren’t pregnant again, are you?”

Rey froze in her spot, hands clasped together from where she was holding them above her chest, like she was going to clap for the news. But Kaydel already said it for them, probably somewhat aware since she was pregnant herself. Rey’s smile dropped slightly as she blinked in bafflement. What was she supposed to say now?

“Wait,” Finn leaned up from his reclined position, looking up at the girl curiously. His eyes then switched over to Ben who was nose deep in a book trying to find something he and Kaydel had been debating about. “Seriously?”

Rey’s mouth opened to respond to the quick accusation but was interrupted swiftly. 

“You both are having another baby?” Poe caught her attention as he came out from the kitchen, beer bottle in one hand and a bowl of popcorn in the other, eyebrows raised in surprise. 

“Guys, she hasn’t even answered yet,” Kaydel reassured her antsy friends. “Plus, I was just kidding. Ben and Rey were probably not even close to thinking about having a baby.”

“Why don’t we let Rey tell us instead of us trying to assume things,” Rose encouraged her rowdy friends, cutting a look at Finn for jumping to conclusions.”

Rey took a deep breath, shoulders falling with the exhale as everyone stared at her, minus her distracted husband and child. She awkwardly met their eye contact as she raised her hands into a ‘I don’t know’ gesture, nose scrunching up as she grinned to everyone. “Surprise?”

The group called out several different words in absolute shock for the news, flabbergasted that the two of them were serious about another baby. They were so set on having only Ivy. Finn had jumped to the edge of the couch, Rose too, lacing Kaydel to lay back against the back of the couch with a shocked expression written on her face, and Poe to almost drop the bowl of popcorn. 

“I found it,” Ben blurted out, eyes growing excited as he had found the long waited for quote in one of Flannery O’Connor’s novels. “‘I don’t deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.’ See, Kaydel, I told you it was in here.”

“Ben,” Kaydel said with a breath, still dumbstruck by what Rey told them. “Now is not the time to talk about this. And also, where the hell were you for the last five minutes?”

Ben’s head popped up as he took a look around the room, noticing how everyone was watching him with the same shocked expression. His eyes then jumped to Rey, who was looking at him sheepishly, hands now nervously fidgeting despite making sweater paws. 

“What happened,” he asked flatly, light brown eyes growing ever the more confused as no one spoke a word. 

“Glad you could join us, O one with the semen of a thousand warlords,” Poe replied sarcastically, cocking his head to the side as he stared at Ben. “When were you gonna share the news, Hotstuff?”

Ben blinked at Poe before his eyebrows furrowed, and somehow, instinctively looking to Ivy to make sure she wasn’t hearing the conversation. She was too invested in Rey’s phone and her headphones to care. “What are you talking about?”

“Rey just dropped the bomb, Ben,” added Rose, queuing him in on what he missed. “About her being pregnant.”

“You told them?” His eyes shot back to Rey, almost looking a little betrayed since she did it without him. “What all did you say?”

“It wasn’t my fault,” she exclaimed bravely, that stubborn side of her flashing from beneath that innocent gaze. “Besides, I tried to get your attention but you were too busy in that ruddy novel!”

“Hey,” he warned, pointing a finger at her. “Flannery is my woman, and I will not stand for you to use your little,” he paused to switch into a British accent, “English slang to crucify her.” He was teasing her, which caused her to roll her eyes playfully. 

“My sincerest apologies to Flannery. Please tell her that she better watch out if she plans on stealing my man from me—,” she said before she was interrupted again. 

“Get on with it,” Finn cried out, anxiety bribing him to the farthest edge of his seat. “You can’t just tell us this and not give any details. There are two children right now, and we need to be prepared with all the details for the next one!”

“Two, actually,” Ben added causally. Their eyebrows shot up even further at Ben’s statement, Poe having to sit down the bowl before he dropped it again. 

“Two,” they all exclaimed together, Finn hoping up to his feet, hands placed on either side of his head. Rose’s jaw hung open, but then her lips slowly curled into a smile. 

“You mean, there are going to be two more of this,” she said, pointing to little Ivy, who was happily watching the phone, not a care in the world for what was happening. 

Rey giggled, going over to where her small satchel sat to pull out the sonograms from this week’s ultrasound. “Alongside sweet little Willa, yes. There will be two more Solo babies joining us,” she chirped, giving a wink to Kaydel who was so flabbergasted at how the two managed to pull that one off. 

“I wouldn’t call her sweet yet,” Kaydel responded with a tender rub to her bump. “She’s been up inside my ribcage for the last week and hasn’t been very friendly.”

“Well, holy shit,” Poe chuckled with a light-hearted tone to his voice. “He really is the semen warlord since he pulled that one off—.”

“If we could refrain,” Ben started with an embarrassed flush flashing in his cheeks, “from the dirty comments, that’d be great. I’ve got a little that I don’t want to have to explain that to.” He stood from his seat as he walked over to Ivy, scooping her up into his arms despite her squealing, and hightailed it away from his mischievous friends. Rey was too busy passing around the sonogram to the other girls plus Finn as Poe hurried off after the two, ready to bother with references that met Ben’s line of what the fuck to say and not to say around his baby girl. 

—

Ivy has actually been the one to tell Han about the babies. They were visiting Leia on a casual Saturday afternoon, all gathered in the living room when Han and Chewy, this faithful, furry companion, entered the back door in the next room over. Ben and Leia were on the floor with Ivy, helping her read the book they checked-out from the local library, Leia making all the characters and scenes come to life as her son narrated for Ivy’s viewing pleasure. Rey was reclined on the comfortable couch, feeling slightly worse for wear but still present as she finished up some work on her laptop. 

It was whenever Han passes the doorway that he noticed his son’s family in his home. Ivy had turned around to greet him, watching as he walked past distractedly, despite her calling to him. Leia followed Ivy’s gaze, a playful smirk on her face as she watched her oblivious husband meander around their house. Chewy knew something was up because he was torn between following Han or giving all the dog kisses to his little friend. 

“Han,” Leia called for him, causing Ben to turn his head back towards the doorway, a grin on his face as he observed his father’s antics. “We’ve got company here,” she finished. 

“What? Company?” His footsteps were heavy on the hardwood floor as he strode back to the living area, eyes landing first on Leia before he recognized the other figures in the room. Usually on the weekends it was just him and Leia. It was always a nice surprise to see his kid and his family, but damn if he hadn’t just walked right on by today. 

“Dad, you walked right past us,” Ben chuckled, brown eyes gazing up at his baffled father. Rey giggled behind the screen of her laptop as she listened to the exchange. 

“I must have,” he sighed, placing his hands on his hips defeatedly. “I’ve just got a lot going on up in the stratosphere,” he explained, gesturing to his head. Chewy immediately took that as his cue to approach the small girl and attack her with all the love his heart could give. Ivy squealed in delight as she turned her head away in either direction, trying to avoid the dog slobber. Eventually, Leia had to pull the dog back, but Chewy was smart. He laid down right in front of Ivy, allowing her to pet and love on him as much as she pleased. And that’s exactly what she did. 

“What’s bothering you?” Ben’s eyebrows furrowed as his father took his seat in his favorite recliner, a heavy breath escaping his lungs. He ran a hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose slightly before he dropped it to the arm of the chair. 

“I don’t know, Son. Just a lot of thoughts about the future of the shop. Luke’s boys are interested in keeping it open and running since I’m close to calling it quits.”

“What?” The man’s son leaned up on his elbows a little taller from where he was laying on his stomach. “What do you mean you’re ‘calling it quits?’”

“Nothing more than that this body is getting too old to keep working on cars. The cars are doing a work on me now,” Han explained, Hans crossing his torso to rub the back of his shoulder as if a pain had shot through the muscle. Ben’s eyebrows furrowed as he sat himself up on his knees. 

“And Jacen and Jay are interested in taking over?” 

“You bet. They’ve been working on those cars forever and are ready to take the business into their hands.”

Ben frowned, feeling rather guilty that his father was passing down the business to his nephews instead of him. He carried the Solo name, but working in a garage wasn’t his thing. He most certainly could, watching Han long enough as a curious child who just wanted to spend time with his father. Rey even knew how to fix some of the machines in the shop, and even asked Ben when they were dating to take her over so she could help. 

“Ah, don’t worry about it kid. It might not be going into the hands of another Solo, but it’s going to good people. Family, nonetheless,” Han consoled his boy, who he could read like the back of his hand. He knew that these things were not Ben’s preferred hobbies, so that’s why he agreed to pass it down to those who did. It wouldn’t be the shop if the owner wasn’t passionate about their work. 

“If you want to discuss it with the guys, give them a call later on to get more information. I just know that I’d rather have more time to spend with my Ladybird more often,” the man grinned at his little granddaughter who was still snuggling all over Chewy, who was letting her do whatever she wanted happily. 

“Will you be able to play with me and the babies more now, Pop?” Ivy’s hazel eyes peered up at him innocently as she had just revealed their news, without warning, Ben and Rey would add. Thank whatever force above that Leia knew already, or else they would have had a come apart. 

“That’s right, babe. I’ll be able to play more with you and the—wait.” Han’s face immediately switched from a pride to bewilderment after a moment of realization. “Did she just say babies?”

Ivy nodded enthusiastically, standing up from her position petting the dog. “Yeah, Pop! Babies!”

Rey continued to hide behind her laptop as Ben ran an anxious hand through his tousled hair with a sheepish expression written across his face. Han looked between the three adults, watching as his wife sat there casually, a smug grin on her lips as she looked down to the book they were reading. 

“Babies,” Han repeated once more. “As in, multiple?”

“Yeah,” Ben said on an exhale, also breaking into a grin, but this one much shyer than his mother’s. 

“They’re having twins, Han. I told you it would happen one day,” Leia proclaimed to her husband, nearly trembling with excitement as she could finally tell her husband the secret they had been keeping. 

Han looked from those two, then to Rey, who smiled and nodded before she reached for her phone to show a recent sonogram image to him. 

“Well...wow,” Han huffed out in astonishment, leaning back against the recliner. He was about to be a grandfather of three little babes who he was now able to smother with all kinds of cool tricks and grandpa love. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips, one Leia knew all too well when she knew he was happy. It was one that he gave her when she found out she was pregnant with Ben. 

—

August 1987

Leia was never nervous. 

Hell, she was one to never have shaky hands or knees whenever she was put on the spot. Speeches? Nah. Protests? Absolutely not. Talking to random strangers as dares? Not a problem. She never experienced any kind of social anxiety, being as stubborn, proud, and feisty as she was. Her mother swore up and down that she was just like her father in that way, but Leia knew deep down Padmé was just the same if given the opportunity. 

Except today, she was nervous. She felt ridiculously sick as she thought over the words she was going to say. She even mulled over the unfortunate conversation she would have to have with her mother. What would she think? Twenty years old and this is how her life was going to be? She had dreams of being a female activist, making sure women were given the same rights as men in every way possible, even though it was the eighties and things were much improved since the Women’s Rights Movement. 

And Han—oh god, Han. Like hell he was ready for this news. She loved him with all of her physical being, but this was something that she had no idea if she could tell him. She’d have to, obviously. He’d find out sooner or later because of the way he knew every little detail about her. 

Man, were they fucked. 

She was standing in the kitchen of her apartment, arms crossed over her chest as she stared out the window above her sink. Her long hair was fixed in a loose, wavy braid that wrapped from her ear, all the way around her head to down her shoulder. Thanks to her mother, this look was achievable and definitely allowed her mind to stray from the daunting subject at hand. 

Han opened the door to the little home, since Leia had given him a key at some point after she moved out of her parents’ home. The sound of his footsteps were muted against the peachy colored carpet, but Leia sensed his presence nonetheless. He was dressed in his usual denim jacket with the two pockets on the chest, a white shirt, and jeans she always knew him to sport. Half his clothes were here with her, so it was a miracle he dressed himself today. 

It wasn’t until he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of her head that he noticed her had approached her. Slightly flinching at the sudden contact, Han put a hand on the small of her back to steady her, letting her know it was just him. 

“Someone’s jumpy today,” he remarked teasingly, turning his girl so that he she could face him and not the little window. When she didn’t roll her eyes or combat his comment, he began to grow concerned, eyebrows furrowing on his masculine features. “Hey, are you alright?”

Leia took in a deep breath before she opened her mouth, but the words she had on her mind failed her the minute her brown eyes met his hazel ones. She immediately crumbled, features frowning so she could keep the tears back. Han had never seen her like this before—so wound up by unspoken thoughts and emotions. He had never truly seen her sob—maybe a couple of tears but never a heart-wrenching cry for solace—and he wasn’t about to start now. Instantly, before the tears could pour down her cheeks, he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her so that she was totally encompassed in his comfort. 

“Sweetheart,” he cooed, laying his chin against the top of her head. “What’s the matter? What’s got you so riled up?”

Leia continued to cry in his chest, fear overwhelming her like never before. Her hands were pressed against her face as she was turned into him, barely able to calm herself. Worried she’d hyperventilate, Han pulled her away slightly to remove her hands from her face so she could take long calm breaths. 

“Breathe, Leia. Nice and slow,” he said, coaching her through until she was able to breathe steadily. The tears left red stains near her eyes and on her cheeks, a sight that almost scared Han himself because of how rare it was for her to become this emotional. 

“Atta girl,” he praised once she was settled. The pads of his thumbs wiped away whatever tears were still left on her cheeks. Leia thanked him by leaning into his touch, closing her eyes and taking one of the hands that was on her cheek into her own. 

After a few moments of stillness, Han finally spoke up again, still being the only one to speak between them. “Now that you’re calm, can we talk about what made you so upset?”

The woman took a deep breath, chest rising and falling with the defeat of having to actually admit the truth to him that she was dreading. She nodded her head, clasping one of his hands before she pulled away from his touch and led them over to the kitchen table. 

Han sat across from her, watching her steadily as she clasped her anxious hands and sat them on the wooden table. She took a moment to think of the right words to say again, receiving a quirked eyebrow from her partner as he waited for her explanation. He was casually leaning back in the wooden chair, hands resting on the tops of his thighs. 

“I’m pregnant,” Leia blurted out finally, forgoing every idea of how to transition into the news. She knew Han didn’t want any of the sappy stuff, and she and him were not like that anyway. Her eyes had locked on his as she said that, watching as his demeanor stiffened. 

“You’re what,” he asked with the furrowing of his once raised brow, utterly baffled at her statement. How could this be? Did she really say what he thought she said? 

“Pregnant,” she confirmed, lips pressed in a straight line. Han closed his eyes, trying to bring himself to the present moment and process what she had just said. 

“Pregnant?” Leia bummed as a response, watching him open his eyes and gaze at her. There was a look in his eye that she couldn’t decipher—it was a mix between utter confusion, terror, and excitement. Now, it was up to him to decide how to react. 

“How—when?” The man’s hand came up to rub the back of his neck, then through his brown, tousled hair. 

“I’ve missed my last two cycles, Han. I took a test about an hour ago.”

“And they’re positive?”

“They weren’t negative.”

“But,” he started, trailing off as his mind tried to keep up with all the spinning thoughts. “How did it happen? We were so careful?”

“Obviously not. Your guess is as good as mine. I’m guessing it was around Independence Day with the—.”

“Ah, yes,” Han said, looking up to the ceiling, a fond expression on his face with a sly grin. “The fireworks.”

Leia nodded, thumbs nervously fidgeting with each other as she awaited an actual response from her lover. However, what she received isn’t want she was expecting, but very in character for the Solo man. 

“Okay,” he said with a grin that radiates adoration for the smaller woman. It was a look Leia hadn’t truly seen from him before, despite knowing he was head over heels for her. He never gave her too much glorification because he loved to tease her about how much she loved him, and this time was so unexpected of him. This was the kind of fervor that he showed her in her bed, which is how they ended up here in the first place. The grin he sported was at the side of his mouth, the spot where she knew he played his dirtiest with her sexual desires, and eyes purely honoring Leia with gratitude. 

“Okay?” She was confused—why was that the only thing the idiot had to say? “What does that mean?”

“Just, okay,” answered Han causally, still grinning at her. 

“Okay, like ‘yeah alright,’ or,” she trailed off, expression on her face indicating for him to continue. 

“Okay, as in ‘I’ll raise this baby with you,’ okay.” 

Leia’s heart melted as her fears subsided significantly. Han wasn’t going to leave. He was going to stay by her side and make a life with the little family they’ve created.

“You will?”

“Well, of course,” Han chuckled, leaning up in his seat. “The women I’m crazy for is havin’ my baby. Why the hell would I not?”

“Because, Han, your life is surrounded by risks and adventures, crazy shit that I won’t be able to participate in anymore. I don’t want you to get bored of me.”

“Leia,” he laughed again. “There’s no way that I could ever be bored of you. Do you think anyone else is willing to play the little games we do with each other?”

Leia grinned. “I don’t think anyone else is capable of handling your ignorance and utter pompousness in all honesty.”

“Watch where you tread, Sweetheart,” Han pointed a finger at her. “I can promise that the retorts won’t be as teasing next time if you go around telling everyone my darkest secrets.” She giggled at her lover’s antics, chest falling with relief as she knew he was by her side for the long run. 

Leia finally relaxed, leaning her elbows on the table. Han sat there with grin, looking at his lovely girl, who was having his baby. 

“We’re not married, Leia.”

“I know.”

“Won’t your parents think it’s,” Han began, a worried expression on his handsome features. “Wrong?”

“They might,” Leia shrugged. She looked at him smugly as the fear that was in her heart disappeared, replacing itself with her usual confidence. “But in all honestly, Han, I don’t care. This is the eighties. I’m a grown ass woman, with a career and a home. I can raise this baby. All on my own, I may add, if I damn well please.”

“And what about me?”

“You wouldn’t stand a chance against my child even if you tried.”

Han smirked, leaning forwards onto the table, elbows supporting him as well. His face was inches away from Leia’s, both of them so used to this intimacy by now. And because of it, a little baby was growing inside of Leia. 

“Let’s keep a little optimism here.” With a wink, he leaned in towards his girl’s lips, gently reassuring her that he was in it for the long haul, forever. Despite how long her father decided he would let him live for knocking up Skywalker’s only daughter. 

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> I’m sorry it’s taken so long for an update...I felt a little hopeless about this story because it’s so jumbled up (time wise). I hope it does make sense to you all though. However, whatever else I tried to write always came back to this storyline. It’s meant to be—I have such an incredible story written for this little family. I just hope I can please you all with it. :-) 
> 
> Thank you for all the reads, kudos, and comments <3 you all are a blessing.
> 
> All my love! x


	21. Side By Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ There is no language for what we've seen  
> Only the sweetness that bends us to our knees  
> And all of these fumbling words  
> To explain what it means  
> But out hearts were buried deep in the sand.”  
> \- Side By Side; Sleeping At Last  
> —  
> Rey has some news for Ben, and he’s not too fond of it.

Rey padded across the wooden floor down to the room at the other end of the hallway. There had been hours of contemplation for the way she was going to tell Ben the news, but she could never find the right words. 

He’d absolutely refuse to agree to this, but she knew it was what needed to happen. There also was no other choice as to whether she could or couldn’t. It was a requirement if she wanted to keep her job. 

It was a Saturday and the two of them had some work to catch up on over the weekend. Ben had a lecture he was preparing for, which required him to do more extensive research on a particular author. It kept him holed up in the office most of the morning, despite having breakfast with his little family. Rey spent the morning with Ivy, painting with her and playing in the backyard. It was a warmer day in February, very odd for the time of year, but nonetheless got their daughter out of the house and into the lovely outdoors. They blew bubbles, drew with chalk, swung together, and played around with BeeBee. Oh, how that girl loved her puppy. 

Ben watched fondly from his office window that overlooked the backyard, smiling softly at the sight of his lovely wife with his incredible little girl. She was growing so fast and was bound to start actual school very quickly. He wasn’t ready for the pang of grief he felt about the fact that she was soon to be a year older, another year farther away from that tiny baby with the tufts of dark hair he held in that hospital room. He’d never forget the moments of intimate contact the two of them shared, and could not wait until he was able to experience it again with his newest little babes. 

The cat was finally out of the bag to everyone, and all of Rey’s fellow employees were aware and excited for her. She explained that the pregnancy was why she was out so frequently a few months ago, and shocked them with the news of the two babies. But much to her surprise, they shocked her with the news of the company going abroad. 

To London. 

Ben was not going to have it, but she had to tell him either way. Her bare feet led her to her husband’s study where the white door cracked just slightly, signaling her to knock lightly with the knuckle of her pointer finger. She heard the hum of Ben’s deep voice acknowledge her, and she entered quietly. 

His gaze was focused on the novels before him, highlights and annotations all over the pages as he frenziedly tried to conclude his work before the afternoon ended. As Rey’s figure advanced towards him gracefully, he took a glance upward at at her, a grin forming on his lips when he truly took in her natural beauty. Her hair was pinned up in some sort of bun behind a head wrap, and she wore an old shirt beneath her paining overalls. Now, those overalls were only strapped on one side, the other allowing her growing bump more room under the denim material. 

“Did you finish your latest masterpiece?” Ben’s eyes were solely focused on her now, a fondness that always made Rey giggle and flush beneath her freckles. He pushed his chair back from the desk, making a space for her to come close to him. She happily took the opportunity and carefully lowered herself down into his lap. With a happy chuckle, he wrapped his arm around lower back, helping her remain steady as she sat across his legs. His other arm came up to rest gently on her thighs, hands clasping at her hip. 

“Just paused so I could come check on you. Sometimes you work so hard that I wonder if there’s a pulse every once and a while, or if it’s just a machine doing it all,” she teased wrapping her arm around his neck, placing a delicate kiss to his lips with a grin. 

Ben’s head tilted back as he looked at her, that playful smirk that made her head over heels for him displayed proudly on his features. “I’ll let you know when the clone returns from his lunch break so we can sneak out of here.”

“Oh?” Rey giggled once more, fingers twirling some of the ends of Ben’s hair. “What do you have in mind?”

“I’m surprised you’re not taken back by the fact I have a clone.”

“My love, our children might as well be your clones. It’s a fact I’ve learned how to cope with rather well.” Her statement earned a laugh from the man, a sound that Rey’s ears defined as music. When she knew him in Uni, he was so reserved that it took an act of the Queen to make him laugh. He was hidden behind a mask of stone— not an angry mask, but one that seemed as if it had been though some depressing situations, even as if there was some trauma that continued to be suppressed. It took Ben a long time to open up to Rey about the experiences that happened right before they had met, and things that he still could not tell her today. But, all that mattered now was that he was a new person today, and the mask had long sense been retired. 

“My mother found an older picture of me that she swears looks like Ivy. I think I took a picture of it,” he said, grabbing his phone from the desk and going on the hunt for the image. Once he did, he showed his wife, allowing her to zoom in on the smaller and younger figure of her husband, eyes bright and curious, and ears sticking out from his wispy dark hair. 

“Oh my goodness,” she gasped, eyes wide as she ogled at the little boy in the image. Leia was right! Ivy was just a little mirror of the man, and it made Rey’s heart swell up in genuine joy. The tiny beauty she created was gorgeous, and despite barely looking a thing like her, she was proud of the fact that Ivy received the almost god-like beauty that Ben had. Deep down, she hoped these two little babies looked just as much like him. 

She had to admit, Ben was a sight to behold every time she entered his presence. Ben gave her a smile once she pulled back to look at him, nose scrunched in endearment. He sat his phone back on the desk and placed his hand back on Rey, keeping her close to him. 

“What did you really come in to tell me,” he asked lazily, leaning his head back against the leather material of the chair to look at his wife. Hesitation paralyzed Rey for a quick second, mind already had escaped the idea of telling her husband. Oh, how desperately she didn’t want to tell him—or go for that matter. With a heavy breath, she decided to just tell him. 

“My work is taking a trip,” she told him, a forced grin on her face while avoiding his gaze. It wasn’t necessarily lying, but she told him maybe a half-truth—for now. 

“Fun, and I’m assuming you were asked to join?” 

“Of course.”

“Well, then that’s fantastic. When will you be leaving?”

“Within a couple of weeks.”

“For how long?”

She hesitated before she chose the best way to tell him. “A fortnight.”

“Rey,” Ben said monotonously, face displaying an impassive expression as he stared at his wife. “I may have some old English education, and have been your partner for nearly ten years, but I’m going to need you to explain, as American as possible, the details of this trip.”

Rey still avoided his gaze. “A little over two weeks. Give or take.”

“Gracious, that’s a long trip. Where are they taking you?”

“Nowhere in particular. We’ll probably just be galavanting through the streets of New York or something. Maybe even Boston.”

“So you’re going to New England?”

“That place will never be ‘England,’” she said with contempt at the coined name for a portion of the country that separated from the actual England. “They can sod off with that one.”

“Rey,” Ben discouraged, not allowing her to stray too far from the topic. “If not there, then where?”

“Try actual England?” Her face scrunched up as her voice was just a little reedy. Ben’s brow furrowed as he took a hand and tilted her chin down to him. Now she had no choice but to look at him. 

“Actual England? As in, across the world, your birthplace, England?”

“Yes.”

“Why in the hell do they want to go there?”

Rey released a heavy sigh, not daring to look him in the eye as she gazed upon her hands. They were spotted with dry paint from her latest project in her studio. 

“Apparently it’s for us to begin incorporating English style into our designing. Even though I’m very well aware of what they’re asking for, they want me to go as like, a guide.”

“Don’t they realize that you don’t live there anymore,” Ben asked with a resentful tone to his voice, watching her closely.

“Well of course, Ben. They’re not daft,” she bit back before deciding that getting angry with an angered Ben was not the way to go today. With a calming internal monologue, she finally met his displeasing gaze, trying to console him with an honest, gentle expression of her own. “But they’re doing to a part of London I know pretty well. Plus, I’ve got a friend there who reached out a couple of weeks ago. So I won’t be alone, really.”

“Maybe I should go with you,” he said nonchalantly, not really giving the statement any option to waver. 

“No, my love,” spoke the woman carefully, shaking her head. “You’ve got work that needs doing. I can’t tear you away from all of this,” she gestured to all the open books and notes on his desk, “for two weeks. It would be chaos for you to catch up.”

“I don’t mind taking a couple of weeks off. Class would be fine. I can grade and assign things from a laptop.”

“But I am most certainly not willing to tear you away from Ivy for two whole weeks,” Rey’s solemn tone defended, eye-contact steady with her husband. They were silent for a moment before Ben knew he had lost this battle without a dying chance. His chest fell as he released a long, quiet sigh as Rey continued. “I will not have my baby be left parentless for two weeks. She won’t be left parentless at all. I absolutely won’t have it.” 

“She could stay with Mom during that time. That way we’d know she’d be safe and well taken care of—.”

“Ben,” she snapped sternly, glaring at him as her protective side flashed before Ben’s eyes. He knew exactly what she meant and there was no way in hell she was going to budge. They both remained silent for a moment as she allowed her near-threat to sink in, watching his honey eyes contemplate behind composed features. 

“Okay, I understand,” he soothed, rubbing his hand across Rey’s thigh comfortingly. “I’ll stay here with Ivy while you’re away.” Rey’s body relaxed at his submission, feeling a little more secure in her decision to go and how the fort could be held down without her. 

“Thank you,” she breathed, placing a gentle kiss to the spot right next to his lips. “I love you.”

“I know,” he grinned in return. They stared at each other longingly and lovingly before Ben’s expression shifted into one of slight worry. 

“Literally half of my family will be out of the country,” he said, looking down to the very prominent swell of her belly. Everyone could tell that she was now pregnant, much to her displeasure. She wasn’t happy with how fast the bump had appeared, but accepted it nonetheless because it meant her and Ben’s babies were healthy and happy. It was strange having three heartbeats inside of her, but she felt like the luckiest Mama in the world to be able to nurture two little beings in her stomach. Her husband moved his hand inside the open hole of Rey’s overalls, using his finger to poke at her teasingly. 

Rey squealed quietly, hand that wasn’t wrapped around Ben’s neck moving to protect her tummy, earning a grin from him, eyes gleaming with fondness for the lovely lady. Her hand splayed out over the swell under the denim material, lovingly caressing it with her thumb.

“We’ll be okay. I’ve already received the go from my doctor and have everything I need to take along.” Ben’s hand slowly came up to meet hers, and she positioned it so that it could completely cover the expanse. Her little hand laid itself on top of his, feeling nothing but overwhelming comfort and love from the father of the little babes inside her. 

“How long before you leave?”

“I leave in about a week. The lot of us are supposed to meet in the conference room of the Kensington a few hours after I’m expected to land,” she said causally, turning her back onto his torso, feeling relief from the tension that was in her lower back. 

“So we’ve got a week left with you three,” Ben pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Rey’s shoulder carefully, pulling her into him closer so she could become comfortable—and not because he was already starting to miss her. 

“That’s correct.”

“If you’re going to spend two weeks there, that means you’ll be, what? Nearly eighteen weeks along?”

Her eyes turned down to her belly that the two of them were holding as if inside held the most precious treasure in the world. “I guess I would be.”

“Do you think,” he whispered after a moment of sweet silence. Her legs dangled from where his knees were bent from his feet planted on the floor. He slowly started to rock them back and forth in the comfortable chair, not trying to risk a bout of nausea for Rey. “That this pregnancy has progressed a lot faster than the last?”

“I think it’s because we’ve done the pregnancy thing before. It’s nothing new, and we have another baby to preoccupy us. We’re seasoned parents by now.”

Ben smiled, turning his face into the side of Rey’s head, nuzzling his nose against the spot in front of her ear. They continued to talk for a little longer like that, Ben slowly starting to realize how quickly time passes. He blinked and these babies are almost to the halfway mark, Ivy was about to start real school, Rey was leaving the country, and he was about to partake in a new business adventure with his extended family. It wasn’t until the sound of his little girl’s hurried footsteps and dog’s tip taps following her interrupted them in their little nest, but allowed the little ray of sunshine join them happily. 

—

The week had passed by too quickly for Ben’s liking. They both sat Ivy down and explained where her Mama was about to go, and it went about as he expected. She was confused and upset that she couldn’t go too, but was then soothed by knowing that Ben was staying with her. Rey hated seeing the little girl cry, especially because of their brief separation, but she had to will herself not to cry or go back on her word. 

Four nights before Rey was supposed to leave, she decided it was time for Ben to have a haircut. The lovely locks she adored were growing a little too long now, and was falling into his face a little more than usual. So, she sat him down in a chair in their bathroom, like she had been doing since they had known each other, and did her magic once again. He had always teased her for having magic hands since she worked wonders on cars, spaces, canvases, and even on him, sexual or not. 

That night, the teasing was no different, and she flushed furiously at his remarks. She tried her best to stay as steady as possible with the scissors while Ben was pressing his nose into her belly, tickling her while holding her hips securely between his legs. It was inevitable, his mischief, but she would never change it for the world. 

Two nights before Rey was to leave, she and Ben had experienced little movements while they were relaxing after a long day. Nearly sound asleep from the kind of situations they had experienced (it was a rough one. Ivy has decided to be a little more defiant with her parents, more than likely out of her Mama’s upcoming trip), Rey was awoken suddenly as she felt a jolt from inside her stomach. It scared her awake, causing her to sit up slightly, blearily gazing up to her husband who was quietly reading a novel. As a reflex, he jumped as well, eyes landing on his wife after a second of gaining composure. He scanned her features to take in any signs of distress but found none. Rey was peering up at him with calm excitement, still dulled by her sudden pull to consciousness. 

“What’s wrong,” Ben asked quietly, still in the position he jumped into by Rey’s jolt. She giggled lightly, pulling the blankets back a little bit, then pulling Ben’s hand to the expanse of her belly. His brows furrowed as she lifted the material of her shirt, placing his palm against the taught skin. After waiting a moment, Rey reassured him to be patient as he set his book down on the mattress next to him.

“Are you sure you didn’t just wake yourself up with your own hiccups,” Ben offered, a tad discouraged that he couldn’t experience what Rey had, but not nearly convinced she had experienced any supernatural. The babies were supposed to begin moving a week ago, but the doctor reassured them that it was normal for babies to take their own time with it, especially in such tight quarters. 

“No, I know what it was,” she confirmed, using her other hand to rub at parts of the swell that Ben’s hand couldn’t cover. “C’mon, little loves. Show Daddy what you can do,” whispered the young Mama, cheering on the babies, a pro at the pregnancy game by now. 

Ben’s heart melted at her endearment for their littles. He loved them so much without even having met them, or feeling them for that matter—.

Then, all of the sudden, he felt a quick little nudge underneath his palm, and then another one, slower and more careful than the previous. His eyebrows shot up, eyes widening, and mouth opening slightly in awe of the little movements. His babies were greeting him! 

Slowly, Ben sat up, turning himself in a way where he was facing Rey completely, hand still laying against her stomach. He crossed his legs beneath him, leaning closer to her as she beamed at the father of her children.

“Hey,” he cooed out with a slight rasp to his voice, eyes trained on the swell intently. It was when Ben was fascinated like this that made Rey fall in love with him more and more. Especially by things she could do (or create, in this sense). 

His thumb began to caress across her soft skin, pressing against the firmness carefully every so often. “You’re a little late to the party, but I guess that’s alright,” he teased them, already beginning this even before they were born. Rey chuckled, her stomach moving slightly as she laughed at her silly husband. 

As if responding, there were a couple more little nudges beneath Ben’s hand, causing him to smile from ear to ear. He transitioned once more by laying flat on his stomach next to his wife, at eye-level with the bump, elbows coming up to prop himself. Rey’s hand rested at the top of her stomach under her breasts, and the other found it’s way to Ben’s newly shortened hair that exposed his adorable ears a little more now. 

She loved it when he talked to her belly while she was growing little humans. It was soothing as she felt his entire heart pour from his words to their children. He told them about the world, their big sister, their feisty yet loving Mama, and their funny pup, too. Each time he would do this with Ivy made Rey feel protected and loved—like she was carrying special cargo, yet still feeling safe in the comfort of her love. 

“I can’t believe you’re taking half of my family away with you in two days,” Ben said with a pouty expression on his face, head carefully leaning against the swell of her belly. His musings pulled her out of her own thoughts, which were neck deep in fond memories of Ben loving on Ivy before she was born. Her eyebrows furrowed a little further as she gazed down at her husband, hand still scratching lightly at his scalp. 

“It won’t be for long,” she consoled, trying to reach him with a careful smile, hand moving down to rest gently against his cheek. “I can’t believe the other half of my family will be in a separate country than me.”

Ben released a heavy sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he leaned into the palm of her hand. His dark lashes brushed against his cheekbones. “I never want to come off as that overbearing partner who doesn’t want their spouse to have their own life, but I really don’t feel confident with sending you away, pregnant with my two—not just one—children.”

“I know, Ben,” she sighed quietly. 

“Unfortunately, I’ve come to care for you,” he said sarcastically, expression impassive as his eyes gleamed teasingly. “I don’t know if it’s been because of nearly ten years of knowing you, or what.”

Rey giggled. “Sometimes I have that effect of men.”

“Men specifically?”

“What, have you noticed others feeling the effects as well?”

“I mean, Kaydel would definitely be disappointed knowing her efforts continues to go unnoticed.”

The woman’s eyes rolled playfully while she grinned at her husband’s attempt of making things lighthearted. 

“I don’t know, Rey,” he resumed with his grievances. “I just don’t like the idea of you going by yourself and scavenging a whole new country.”

“It’s not necessarily a new country. I lived there for eighteen years, remember.”

Ben grunted unhappily, shifting his position slightly as his face began to flush. “What if something happens to you and I can’t reach you in time? What if,” his hand moved up to her bump, brushing his fingertips against her taught skin that cradled little nest his littlest children called home. His chin quivered slightly in same fashion it always did when Ben was troubled. Before he could conjure up any kind of scenario, Rey swooped into action. 

“Come up here to me,” she murmured lovingly in the small space between them, stroking her thumb against his cheekbone to indicate for him to move. Slowly, he transitioned into all fours, making his way up to his wife’s face. He laid down on his stomach, protective arm draped across her waist, other elbow holding himself up above her. His eyes were still full of worry for his little wife, but as her hand came up to brush his hair back, he closed his eyes and released a heavy breath. 

“I understand that you’re worried, my love. But I can hold my own. I do hope you remember that I can put up a fight when need be,” Rey giggled, giving him a reassuring grin, hazel eyes sparkling up at him. Her husband chuckled lowly, his own eyes rolling playfully as he remembered multiple instances when Rey had become her feistiest. 

“Of course,” said Ben 

“And I understand the concern about the distance. It’s only for a small amount of time, and then I’ll be back home with you two.”

Her husband merely nodded in submission, knowing that there really wasn’t going to be much debate on her decision to go. His face still showed signs of worry, but Rey continued to try to make him smile.

“Besides, I don’t think our little right now would fancy a seven hour flight and a shift in her sleeping schedule.”

Ben grinned slightly at the thought of a grumpy version of his little girl. “If she’s enough like you, she’d be restless within the first hour.”

Rey scoffed with a smile. “I resent that!”

“You are aware that she does have your tendencies, correct?”

“Well, yes. I practically grew her.”

“Then you already know how she becomes a little angsty and agitated like you when she’s frustrated. Her nose scrunches up just like yours and she gives that famous little pout. She doesn’t sulk, but she definitely makes everyone aware of how unsatisfied she is.”

A giggle escaped his wife, cheeks burning with a blush as she realized her daughter is a carbon copy of her when she’s restless. With a slight shrug, she grinned at her husband. 

“It’s just her way of expressing herself.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Ben laughed quietly. “And thank Heaven she’s got the boldness to do so.”

Rey laughed in response, scrunching up her own nose in delight at her daughter’s lovely little personality. Ben watched her with a fond gaze before he nuzzled his head into the crook of her neck, beginning to relax in the comfort of the love of his life in his protection. Her head rested against his as he laid himself down fully, covering the blankets over them for the night. He not only felt like a protector, but also protected as Rey held him close to her. One of her slender hands rested on his bare back, the other down on his bicep that wrapped around her waist. 

“Thank you for agreeing to stay with her,” Rey spoke softly. Their eyes were closed as they continued to breathe in the comfort of each other, slowly lulling them to sleep. The larger man hummed in response to Rey’s comment. “I think it’s important that one of us stays with her right now.”

Ben nodded slightly. “Today might not have been a great day, but she’s been making progress on the acceptance of her new siblings.”

“It’ll take some time,” Rey mused, releasing a breath. “But she’s a smart girl. And so loving.” Her fingertips began to rub his back soothingly. A deep moan rumbled from Ben’s chest, feeling the love from his wife wash over him in waves. And then, as sleep does, it overtook them all at once. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Enjoy this chapter! I’ve had the last two saved in my notes for a while, but wanted to perfect it. 
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely reads and kudos! 
> 
> All my love! X


	22. Goes On And On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ 'til the day you wake up  
> Miles away from here,  
> Where all of a sudden  
> Dissonance disappears...
> 
> And like a wrecking ball in reverse,  
> Every wrong will be made right.  
> What was adamant, even permanent,  
> Will have a change of heart and mind.  
> In your disbelief, you'll clear your eyes  
> As if you're seeing light  
> For the very first time.”  
> -Goes On And On; Sleeping At Last  
> —  
> It’s finally time for Rey to leave for her trip, and Ben and Ivy have a hard time letting her go.

The little family of three was sitting side by side on the mediocrely comfortable seats in the airport. They had arrived a couple of hours early and made it to Rey‘s gate with enough time for her to make sure she had everything she needed. They decided to bring Ivy along so she didn’t have to say goodbye to her Mama so quick and have both parents leave for the airport, plus Rey needed every last snuggle with her love bug. 

That morning, she had snuggled with Ivy in her and Ben’s bed, holding her like she was a baby again. She peppered kisses all over her daughter’s sweet face, and tried to tame the mess of curls she was currently sporting. Ben watched them with a fond smile when he returned from taking a shower. He grabbed Rey’s prenatal medication on his way from the bathroom and helped her take what she needed. It was definitely a scene that Rey would reflect on for the next couple of weeks. 

Now, Ivy has moved from the chair to sit on floor to color a pretty picture for her Mama. Her coloring book was in the chair between her parents as Rey talked with her about upcoming events in the little girl’s life. 

“Tomorrow, you get to go to Clara’s birthday party,” Rey said to the girl, elbow propped up on the back of the chair as her head leaned into her palm. We was wearing the comfiest outfit she could for a long flight, black leggings, a roomy white tunic, and a gray cardigan. Very plain, but she was about to endure this long journey, pregnant, and solo. Ben was sitting on the opposite side, helping Ivy decide what to color next. “Are you excited?”

“Yeah,” said Ivy casually as she colored a flower purple. “Clara has a dog named Jiffy. I want to play with him really bad.”

“Color this one yellow,” Ben whispered to her, earning a quiet “oh” from his girl as he pointed to the second flower. Rey giggled, watching them fondly. She loved how much Ben adored being a father. She loved every inch of him and who he is, but the minute that baby girl entered the world, he transformed into something she had never experienced from a father. It overwhelmed her emotionally—in the best of ways, because she was so thankful Ivy had this in her life, and that Ben agreed to be there. 

“I’m sure Clara has a cute pup, Lovely. But don’t forget that you’re there to celebrate Clara turning five,” she urged her. 

“I know,” Ivy shrugged, putting down the purple crayon to exchange it for the yellow one. The look on her face was so much like Rey’s when she was too focused on her art to be concerned about other matters. It made Ben’s heart leap. “She asked me, Jamie, Dallie, Mazie, Lauren, Yasmin, and Kylea to come. There’s gonna be lots of people to play with.”

“That sounds like fun! I’m sure Clara’s mother will make great cupcakes, too.”

“Her mommy makes the best cupcakes,” informed the little girl. “Clara said they are gonna be pink today. Last time they were green.”

Rey looked over to Ben who was paring crayons to other objects on the page. “Doesn’t Clara’s mom have to make everything for a specific reason,” she asked with a quirked eyebrow. 

“Clara has a gluten allergy,” replied Ben, not looking at Rey directly as he was still focused. “So a lot of the stuff there will be gluten free and kid-friendly.”

“Please ensure that she doesn’t ingest too much sugar. You don’t need to wrestle a hyperactive four-year-old.”

Ben looked up at her with that iconic smirk. “I think I can handle her well enough, thank you.”

“I’m almost this many, Mama,” Ivy retorted in her sweet voice, holding up a full hand. “I’m almost five.” 

“Of course you are, baby,” Rey consoled, leaning forward to brush the girl’s soft cheek with a gentle hand. “My mistake.” 

“If you thought you were going to get away with that comment, you were wrong,” Ben chuckled, placing some of the crayons back into their box. “She’s half of me and half of you. We’re doomed if we were to try and call her out.”

Rey grinned at how fierce her daughter already was at nearly five. She was quick to defend herself, even if she didn’t know what they were talking about, and man did it make Rey feel proud and sad at the same time. No longer was Ivy that tiny baby that wriggled around in her co-sleeper and stared up at the world curiously. 

As much as Rey hated it, time passed by quicker than she expected it to. As her plane was preparing for boarding, Ben helped the expecting mother gather her belongings and clean up Ivy’s too. He slung Ivy’s little backpack across his shoulder and picked her up. Rey adjusted the satchel she had and held onto the handle of her carry-on. Ivy began to feel overwhelmed by just how busy the terminal had become and everyone lining up to board. 

Rey stepped closer to the two and raised herself on her tip-toes slightly to press a kiss to Ivy’s cheek. “I love you so much, my dear,” she whispered into the girl’s ear. 

Ivy whimpered and reached out for her Mama, tears forming in her eyes because of their upcoming separation. Rey took her eagerly, wrapping her arms around the small girl and holding her close to her swollen body. She turned her head to press into Ivy’s dark, soft curls and breathed in. Her hand moved to the back of Ivy’s head, the other supporting her wrapped around her Mama’s waist. 

Ivy began to sniffle as she clutched onto the material of Rey’s cardigan. She didn’t want her Mama to leave. She didn’t even know how far she’d be going away! They told her it was for fourteen days. And she promised herself she would count every single one of them. But why couldn’t her Mama just stay? 

Breathing in Ivy’s smell reminded her of how wonderful her life was here. It flooded her with memories of being with Ivy every day until she had to go back to work, creating a life with a baby alongside her husband, and how safe she felt with them. Much to her displeasure, she felt stinging in her eyes as she heard Ivy’s sniffling become more frequent. “Don’t cry, my Love. I’ll be back quicker than you know it.” 

Her daughter nodded pitifully, laying her head on her mother’s shoulder. Ben took a step closer and placed a large, strong hand on Ivy’s back. The little girl instantly felt his touch and began to slow her sniffling. Rey kissed the side of her head as she felt Ben pull his two girls into his embrace. 

The built man kept his family close to him, leaning his chin on top of Rey’s head. This was the first time in a while that the little family would be split apart, especially since Rey was leaving the country. 

Ben stepped back slightly so he could look down at the mother of his children. She was absolutely beautiful, despite having a sad expression written across her face. With a painful grin, Ben placed his hand on her cheek, his fingers resting on the back of her neck, cradling her head in his large hand. He leaned in, placing a long, loving kiss to that sweet mouth he knew every inch of. It lasted a little longer than he expected it to, feeling the desperation behind Rey’s movements before he pulled away. He knew how torn Rey was over leaving, and definitely felt it through the connection they shared, but he knew it was what she had to do. 

“Please be careful,” he whispered to her in their shared space, looking directly into her eyes. She nodded furiously as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. Fuck these emotions and how they still overwhelmed her even more than they used to. Ben chuckled lightly at her, slightly teasing the young mother in the loving way she knew. He placed one last tender kiss onto her forehead before he lowered his hand to run down her back. 

Soon after, they exchanged Ivy into Ben’s arms, and the little girl whimpered pitifully. Rey dried away her tears with the sleeve of her cardigan and watched as her husband and baby swayed back and forth in their spot next to her. She reached up and brushed back her daughter’s hair, which caused the girl to rub her tired eyes. 

“You’re gonna come back?” Ivy looked over to her Mama with wide, weary hazel eyes that caused Rey to giggle. 

“Of course, my Dove. I could never leave you two forever!”

“Will you,” she paused to look around nervously the airport at everyone waiting to board the plane, suddenly feeling very shy. “Will you still talk to us?”

This time, Rey laughed quietly at her daughter’s anxious curiosities. She hadn’t fully wrapped her mind around the idea that her mother was just leaving for a little while, but would still be in contact with her family. 

“I will still talk to you,” the woman smiled, leaning up on her tip-toes to press her forehead against Ivy’s for a quick moment, and then lowered herself back down. “I’ll call you both every day.”

“Every day?”

Rey hummed in confirmation, eyes watching her daughter fondly. “Hopefully I’ll be able to ring you before bedtime so you can tell me about what you did each day.” 

Ivy’s face broke into an excited grin. “Okay, Mama.”

Ben watched the two interact with a happy smirk. He continued to sway back and forth as Rey tried her best to make the little girl giggle before she departed. Soon, it was her time to board the plane, and she and Ben shared one last kiss. 

“Take care of my children,” he whispered lowly into her ear before he placed a quick kiss to the spot right in front of it. It sent shivers down Rey’s spine, but encouraged her all the more to return the favor. 

“And take care of mine,” she whispered back into his. He chuckled lowly, and Rey could feel it rumble from deep inside his chest. After saying their final goodbyes, the woman took her carry-on and began making her way door, waving back at the two with all the love in her heart. 

—

The flight over to London wasn’t too terrible, in Rey’s opinion. Thanks to the booming success of her career, her company was able to afford for each of their employees to have a seat in first class. It made Rey’s ears burn—she would have never imaged herself in first class, especially going back to the place where she could have never afforded the luxury. Even Ben felt better about her flight once she told him of this upgrade (and in all honesty, he would have done anything he could to ensure she was going to be in first class anyway). 

Her single seat was comfortable, which was a plus. She was seventeen weeks along but looked like she did at twenty-two with Ivy. Her bump was now on full display. She wasn’t very big to begin with anyway, and now nesting two of Ben’s babies, the father who was already a hunk of a man himself (and who was Rey to complain?). Every so often, she’d feel a couple little nudges, which caused her to giggle happily and return the nudges with some of her own. While she did this, she sent loving thoughts to those little babes, excited for the adventure that the three of them were about to embark on. 

Since there was WiFi on the plane, she was able to message Ben through a messaging app, updating him on the luxuries of the seat upgrade, and the unfortunate multiple bathroom trips she had to take. She read a while, sketched a bit, slept a lot, and found herself entertained by the little jolts coming from inside of her. 

Eventually, their flight landed in its final destination, and Rey couldn’t have been ever the more grateful. She collected her things and exited the plane and entered the Heathrow airport. It wasn’t hard for her to maneuver her way through the large, bustling area, but eventually, she found customs and went through successfully since she was legally a dual citizen. She made her way to baggage claim and grabbed her luggage, then wheeled her way to where she was supposed to meet a driver. 

She sent a message to her husband, not knowing what time it was there, but in all letting him know she landed safely. Then, she messages her coworkers, updating them on her status as well before the car she requested met her. 

The drive to the hotel took what felt like no time as the young woman looked around in wonder at all the changes London had made since she had last been. So many new stores and businesses lined the streets, and the buildings were a fascinating hodgepodge of traditional Victorian architecture and modern skyscrapers. Excitement washed over her as she could identify the type of architectural style each building she passed; the Regency, Victorian, Edwardian, Art Deco and Interwar architectures that remained always knew how to blow her away. How could she have not haverecognized this beauty while she was here?

The city gleamed with a completely different sparkle than she remembered. The night lights caused the buildings to look elegant, and it felt like they beckoned everyone to share in the wealth. Before, she felt the faces of the statues sneering down at her, at her peasant-like status since she essentially was an orphan. She felt like the city shunned her from it’s affluence. Despite trying to work for whatever money she could get, she felt like a scavenger on the streets. There was never a time where people closed their doors to her, nor did anyone sneer at her, but she definitely did not feel like she fit in with the masses. 

Eventually she had to tell herself that all kinds of people were in the city, from the most fortunate to the least (in whichever regard). Somehow, she found the courage to go out and intermingle, but still felt like an outcast. 

But now, it’s different. She felt like she had a place. Thanks to her move, she found her purpose in life. She pursued what she loved most and made a stable career for herself. Rey found people who accepted her for who she was, and wanted her in their lives. Gracious, one of those people married her and says that he’s the lucky one. 

Man, how the world shifts when your perspective does as well, she thought, staring at all the lights in the dark morning sky. 

Soon, she found herself at the beautiful hotel that she dreamed of staying at when she was young. It was a place she passed by when she was in the city, and could only look at from afar. Now, she was one of it’s many distinguished guests. 

Rey made her way up to her room and was floored at how marvelous the luxury that was hers. The suite was very spacious with a single bed, kitchenette, and private bathroom as part of the en suite. It was so much space for her alone, but she adored it nonetheless. The young woman took multiple pictures, most not being too wonderful as it was nearing five in the morning in England. It was still rather dark, but she didn’t mind. Her husband merely sent back the heart-eyes emoji at all the images she sent. It was very late in the evening for her little family at home, so she paid no mind to the short responses Ben probably lazily typed. 

He expressed his gratefulness that she was okay, as were the twins. With more interrogation, he sent updates on Ivy and his day, which consisted of playing in the backyard when they arrived home, fixing dinner, and watching the latest Frozen movie before he got her ready for bed. Rey was sad that she missed another family night, despite doing the same nightly routine, yet she knew she only had a short while longer to do so before their lives changed completely. 

They texted for a little longer before Rey filmed a video of the twins moving from inside her tummy, claiming they were aware of the long distance travel their Mama had just made. And again, Ben sent back the heart-eyes emoji, followed by red hearts. Rey giggled at her phone screen as she stroked her bump tenderly, feeling grateful for the company the two littles gave her, and the part of Ben that she would carry with her for the next twenty-odd weeks. Once the couple said their good nights, Rey rose from the little loveseat she had reclined on and proceeded to take a quick shower and prepare for a few short hours of rest before her day truly began. 

—

Later that morning when Rey woke up to the sound of her alarm, it felt strange sleeping in the city she used to call “home.” The light behind the thin curtains was yet the same gray shade she had despised all her life. Hazel eyes blinking blearily ahead of her, she turned her body to face the other direction, feeling the popping of some joints and the stretch in her limbs. 

Subconsciously, she placed her hand on her bump as she slowly pulled herself up into a seated position. Today she felt the nausea return, but it was all part of the pregnancy travel package. She had her prenatal supplements, medication for her nauseousness, and others she could take, but her first task was to get herself to settle. Rey leaned against on her palms into the mattress, head tilted back as she tried to fight the urge to become sick. Slowly, she was becoming a pro at the morning-sickness game—more or less. 

Every so often, she’d feel a little nudge, a slight jolt, or rustling from her tummy, which caused her to bloom with happiness and a smile to stretch across her face. Her mind shifted to the two inside her, sending them a silent good morning as she took a hand to rest on the swell of the bump.

After sitting for a moment, she leaned over to the end table to grab her phone. Looking at the notifications, she realized she had a message from a longtime friend of hers—the one who lived in the city. 

“Tallie,” Rey whispered with a grin. Her mind raced back to the fond memories she made with the girl in their youth, at least of what they could make of it. They were the best of friends in primary and secondary school, and it was always the two of them against the world. When Rey was deciding to move away, Tallie tried her hardest to convince her parents to let her best friend live with them. The. Lintra’s were so kind and offered to house her and Tallie until they were able to find a place, but Rey was dead set on leaving. 

They still kept in touch, but nothing like they used to, since Rey had moved across the pond. But before she was to go on her trip, she reached out to Tallie, and as if nothing had ended, the spunky blue eyed girl—woman, now—wholeheartedly agreed to meet up with Rey for the first time in ten years. 

The message that appeared on her phone was one of Tallie’s usual greetings:

“Hey doll—hope your flight landed safely and you’re properly in the city. Let me know what your plans for the day are and we can schedule tea. I’ve got a rather interesting proposition for you. x”

Rey, absentmindedly caressing her bump as she read the message, then transitioned into checking her schedule. The first meeting was to end at half eleven. Then she could split up with them and spend time with Tallie. She quickly shot a message back confirming their date, then an update to Ben, who was probably sound asleep in their bed at home. 

Still feeling a little sickly, Rey rose from her bed slowly, the material of Ben’s shirt falling down from where it was hiked up slightly from sleeping. It was starting to pull over the swell of her tummy, but regardless, she was wearing his stuff. She padded her way into the bathroom, beginning to get ready for the morning. 

Doing her routine without Ben bustling around somewhere, asleep in the adjoining room, or having a morning coffee was odd. It had been something she’d grown used to for the last several years, and it saddened her that he wasn’t here this morning, back where her life used to be. 

The damn hormones decided to strike again, causing her became a tad more emotional than she thought. Being away from the love of her life, and the father of her babies, was heartbreaking. And her Ivy—oh goodness, how she missed that precious girl. She hated not going into her room to wake the Sleeping Beauty from her sleep. And their bedtime routine—it was something that always calmed Rey down after no matter what kind of day they had. 

Yes, she was fully aware that her life didn’t revolve around her domesticity. But damn if she wasn’t fiercely protective over them. She loved her life so much, and being back here kept throwing her for a loop emotionally. 

She cried a little that morning while trying to take her medications. Usually Ben helped her, encouraging her gently to take care of herself. But also, she was tired, pretty pregnant already, and going through so many emotional and physical changes. Crying was allowed, and she deserved to shed whatever tears she could. 

Eventually, she continued to get dressed and ready for the day, choosing the olive green maternity jeggings, a white flowing blouse, and choral accented minimalist jewelry to make herself look a little composed. Her hair was now a little longer than her collar bone, and she twisted some of it up into a half do, a tiny bun sitting at the crown of her head. Flats were the way to go on this long day, she decided as she put her bag over her shoulder. Grabbing the last things she needed, she made her way to the door, bracing the day one breath at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> It’s finally Spring Break! And I can finally have time to write and post!! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this little fluffy chapter. More coming your way soon!
> 
> All my love! X


	23. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But I want to be here  
> Truly be here  
> To watch the ones that I love bloom  
> And I want to make room  
> To love them through and through and through  
> And through the slow and barren seasons too
> 
> I feel hope  
> Deep in my bones  
> That tomorrow will be beautiful.”  
> -Seven; Sleeping at Last  
> —  
> Ben and Rey’s first few days apart are a tad different, but they always find the way to remember the other.

Solo parenting wasn’t as difficult as Ben thought it would be. 

He would chuckle to himself quietly when he would think that, a play on words. Rey would definitely rolled her eyes a mile down the road. Ben didn’t care, because he knew that solo parenting as a Solo parent never went too horribly for him and his father. 

It’s the little moments that would make his heart hurt while Rey was gone. The night Rey was gone, he and Ivy laid in bed together for a little longer than they normally would. The poor girl clung to her father and her stuffed bunny, and Ben was right there to hold her as if she was the most precious thing in the world. They read a couple of stories and then talked about their day coming up. Eventually, she told him that she was going to go to sleep, so he tucked her in and kissed her softly creased forehead before turning out the light. 

He himself prepared for his own departure to bed, but couldn’t shake a strange lonely feeling from his chest. Maybe it was because he knew half of his family, his beautiful wife and two little babes, were halfway across the world. Because of his very protective nature, he felt a longing and an absence that made him very uncomfortable. Eventually having enough of it, he padded his way out of his and Rey’s room, back to Ivy’s. 

When he peeked through the door, he saw her playing with her stuffed bunny in her bed. Her dark-haired head turned to the direction of the door, curious hazel eyes shining in the moonlight. Ben’s heart melted as he looked at his precious girl, sliding in quietly to go over to her. 

“Come sleep in my room tonight, Sweetheart,” he spoke softly into the sweet atmosphere of her bedroom. Nodding to his statement, Ivy sat up and lifted her arms up to him. Ben leaned down and scooped her up under her arms, allowing her to drape herself across his torso. Ivy leaned her head against his shoulder as he left the room, pressing his cheek to the crown of her head. 

He placed her down on the comfortable mattress, and she immediately began to crawl to her go to place in the middle. It wasn’t the first time that she had slept with Ben and Rey in a while, so she knew exactly what to do. Her father grinned at her, finishing up turning out all the lights and shutting the blinds before he made his way to his side, and sunk down into the bed. 

Laying on his back, he reached his arm out for Ivy to come closer, and she did happily. Wanting to be close to her Daddy, she snuggled close to him, head resting on his broad shoulder. He tilted his head to press another kiss to hers, then moved his hand up to play with her loose curls that had been flattened by the pillow in an attempt to lull her to sleep. And that’s how they found themselves that night, still feeling the void without Rey, but just enough for each other. 

The next morning felt like an alternate version of heaven as he woke up next to his little girl sound asleep, almost in an identical position to how he would wake up next to Rey. The girl, in the pooling sunshine, looked just like her mother—soft, sweet features with dark lashes that twitched ever so slightly against her freckled cheeks. Her peaceful face had Rey’s expression, mouth open and all, and hair tousled across her forehead. That, however, she got from him. 

Chuckling quietly, he rolled towards her, who had made herself comfortable sprawled out in the middle of the bed, and nudged her cheek with his nose. As she began to stir, he began to pepper her face with gentle kisses, earning a drowsy squeal to escape from her. 

“Good morning, Ivy,” he said quietly in the space as the sunlight warmed against his masculine features. Her eyes fluttered open, revealing the shining hazel eyes he loved too fondly. She stretched, sort of like she did when she was a baby, allowing herself a yawn. Ben scooped her into his strong arms and rolled her towards him. Squealing, Ivy giggled and scrunched up her little nose as Ben pressed his forehead against hers with a smirk. 

“How did you sleep?”

“Good,” replied the girl. 

“Did you like sleeping in here?”

“Yeah.”

“Until Mama gets back,” Ben propositioned, “how  
would you like to sleep in here? So you won’t have trouble sleeping in your room?”

“I would like that a lot.”

“Would you really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“Really, really?”

Ivy giggled as Ben’s fingers began to tickle under her chin. She squirmed a tad before responding. “Yeah!”

Ben took this opportunity to tickle his little girl, who squirmed even more and released real laughter. He shook his head into the crook of her neck, using his hands to tickle her in her most ticklish spots before blowing a raspberry into her cheek. 

“We’ve got stuff to do today, Little Vine,” he said as he propped himself up on his elbow after letting her giggled die down 

“Like what?” She grabbed onto her feet and began to roll from side to side, stretching her little toes up into the air. 

“We have to go see Lolli for a little bit,” he began, using a free hand to push her a little further to the other side gently as she rocked. “Then go to the store to pick up some things for dinner this week. Maybe go for a walk with BeeBee.”

“Can I walk BeeBee?” Ivy giggled a little more as Ben continued to keep her from rolling onto her other side teasingly. She loved her dog, and always wanted to hold his leash when they walked!

“As long as he doesn’t pull you overboard,” Ben grinned. “I think you’ve trained hard enough to walk him.”

“I’m strong, Daddy!” She let go of her feet suddenly, rolling up to a standing position on the bed, flexing her little arms as if she had muscles like him. The father laughed and grabbed his phone, wanting to document this cuteness for Rey to see. 

“How strong are you, Sweetheart?” Ben provoked the questions so she could continue flexing. 

“Stronger than you, Daddy,” she giggled, transitioning into another pose to show off her “muscles.” Ben laughed aloud, his deep voice ringing in the air as Ivy began to bounce on the bed. 

“Stronger than me,” he questioned her with a raise of his eyebrow. He sat up slowly, camera still filming her bouncing and twisting with each giggle. He rose onto his knee, now standing taller than her and scooped her up into his arms. The video ended with Ivy’s squeak of delight as Ben swooped her up and off the bed, walking them over to the sanding mirror in the corner of the room. 

“Let’s show Mama how strong we are,” he offered with a playful smirk, setting up the camera with the hand that was most free from holding his litte girl. Pressing record, he stepped away from the phone that was set up on the dresser next to the mirror, and repositioned the giggling, squirming girl into a bridal carry. After insisting that she watch in the mirror, he began to do bicep curls with her in his arms, which caused her to sprinkle her laughter throughout the room. Ben smiled the smile he knew Rey loved so much as he watched his daughter’s playful reactions to their playing. 

Ivy loved playing with her dad like this, and wished she could play like this all day!

Then, Ben turned to face the direction of the camera, continuing the motions as Ivy giggled hysterically. As he continued to curl his bicep up, he began to press little raspberries into her cheek once she came up to his chest. This sent her into a fit of squealing, laughter, and giggles from her father as well, all for Rey to watch later when she was free. 

—

“Hi, Mama,” Ben said casually with a grin on his face as he finished setting up his phone on the holster on the dash. He was dressed in a gray sweatshirt and olive green coat, hair slightly damp from his shower, and a pair of sunglasses shielding his eyes from the bright midday sun. A grin was plastered onto his face as the image of his sleepy little lady appeared on the screen. 

Her smile radiated brighter than the sun that shone through the car windows. She looked so happy to finally see her little family, telling from the crinkling of her nose and fondness shining her eyes. Ben could tell it was night time where she was at based on the ambiance of the room and her current appearance. It looked as if she was sitting at a table in her hotel room, but he could still recognize his navy shirt through the screen and the slight exhaustion in her posture. 

“Hi, my love,” Rey said after a moment, leaning her cheek against her open palm as she looked at her little family. She could see Ivy in the backseat, head peeking up once she heard Rey’s voice. A giggle escaped her throat as she took in her daughter’s outfit of the day. Ben had dressed her up in a peachy pink dress with little scenes of western horses and cacti scattered amongst the cotton fabric. It was long sleeved, perfect for the cooler March weather, paired with cream knitted tights, and floral pink boots. Her dark, curly hair was pulled up into a little messy bun with a bow in the same cream shade. 

It absolutely warmed her heart to see those hazel eyes light up and cute little smile beam as she recognized her Mama. 

“Mama,” Ivy exclaimed from her car seat, attention completely torn from the book she held. “It’s me, Ivy!”

“I see you, babe,” Rey chuckled, winking at the little girl. “How are you, Dovey?”

“Good,” Ivy said plainly, swinging her legs a little. “Me and Lolli got books from the library!”

“Did you now?” She raised an eyebrow. “When did you both go?”

“Mom took her while I went to the gym this morning,” Ben replied, glancing over to the screen, then back to the road as they were now headed away from Han and Leia’s home. “We’re going to spend the rest of the day outside at the park to read her new books and let her run around on the playground.”

“That sounds like so much fun! Are you excited, Ivy?”

“Yeah!” The little girl squeezed her eyes closed with a large smile on her face, squirming around in excitement. Both parents laughed at her silliness. 

“We’re going to be super readers, aren’t we, Sweetheart,” Ben asked, glancing up in the rear view at his girl who fist pumped the air excitedly. 

Rey sighed happily, but Ben heard the longing behind it. “I miss you both so much,” she murmured softly, lips pressing into a line as if she was fighting back some emotion. 

“We miss you too,” Ben responded after a moment. He didn’t want to have Rey cry on the phone in front of Ivy, because that would send everyone into a downcast mood. “How’s the city? From your photos, everything looks just as I suspect the Queen would have it.”

—

Rey chuckled, brushing her wavy hair back behind her ears. “The city is incredible, even better than I remember it. Now that I have children, I have to tear myself away from each of the shoppes with adorable clothes and things like that.”

Ben grinned. “You know, you can always have them shipped home so you don’t have to pack them, if you so choose to buy some.”

“Already thought of that, and have done so,” she replied, tilting her head down to where her fingers were sheepishly fidgeting with her pajama pants. Her ears burned while admitting that she had already spoiled her children and it hadn’t been twenty-four hours. 

Her husband let out a heartfelt chuckle that caused Rey’s laptop speakers to crackle ever so slightly. “I expected nothing less, Rey.”

Rey scoffed. “Trust me, it was a lot harder than it seems and quite frankly, no one was there to stop me.”

“Looks like you needed a first line of defense.”

“When it comes to spoiling my children, sure. But other than that, I can fend for myself.”

“Even right now?”

“Oh, especially right now. No one’s going to hurt a woman who’s up the duff. That’s like telling your Mum her tea can go to spoil.”

Ben laughed aloud, leaning his head back against the black headrest. His smile was all that Rey needed in that moment. It had already been such a long day, and tomorrow wasn’t to be any shorter. 

“I have an immense amount of faith in you,” he said after a light sigh. 

“And that’s enough for me,” Rey grinned. She felt little jolts from inside her belly, which caused her hand to subconsciously lower from the table to rub at the rounded, swollen side. It was a comfort thing, not just for the twins, but for her, too. 

“I bet it’s late there, and you need some sleep.”

Rey pouted. “I really don’t want to hang up. That means I won’t be able to see you.”

“Get some sleep, Sweetheart,” Ben lulled, pulling into a parking spot and parking the car. He slid his sunglasses back into his hair, pushing back the shorter waves away from his face. “Call me when you wake up, and I’ll answer.”

“But I’ll be keeping you up,” Rey opposed, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. 

“You need your rest more than I do, and that way it can just be you and me.”

“Your rest is just as important, Ben Solo,” Rey said flatly. 

“We could argue that every day, Missus Rey Solo, but you’re also incubating two infants at the same time and just traveled abroad.” Ben clasped his hands together, leaning his elbow against the console of the front seat, looking at her seriously. 

She sighed heavily, hand coming to rest carefully on the top of her bump. “I’m serious, though. Don’t let me keep you awake for too long later on.”

“Never, Rey.” Ben grinned. “There’s a whole eternity to sleep, plus you need to update me on what you did today when you’re rested.”

Rey smiled softly to her husband through the screen, submitting to his proposition willingly as the exhaustion of the day finally washed over her. “Okay,” she murmured. 

Ben’s grin turned into a quick smile before his usual smirk replaced it. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Ivy,” Ben said to their daughter, who had returned her gaze to her book. “Unstrap yourself this once so you can climb up here and say goodnight to Mama.”

“But it’s daytime,” Ivy argued, dropping her book to the floorboard, little hands going to unbuckle her car seat straps. Ben saw her struggle and leaned back to help her. Ivy saw the black waistband of his briefs against his hips and squirmed a tad in her seat. 

“It is here, but where Mama is, it’s nighttime,” he informed her carefully, helping her slide out of the car seat in the captains chair, then assisted her ascent to the front of the car. Her little body clamored over the large console and landed in the passenger seat next to her father. Once she was settled, she leaned up on her knees towards where the phone was docked on it’s station. 

“Goodnight, Mama,” Ivy spoke a little louder, not aware that Rey could hear her just fine. Rey smiled at her adorable girl. 

“Goodnight, Baby. Have a good day, alright? I’ll talk to you soon!”

“Okay, Mama!”

“I love you, Ivy Sloane,” the mother murmured as she stared at the pretty girl in adoration. 

“I love you too, Mama!” 

“Sleep well, Rey. I’ll talk to you soon,” Ben added, pulling Ivy down carefully so she didn’t fall too far forward and hurt herself. 

“Have a great rest of your day, my Love,” she returned with a saddened smile, blowing them both a kiss before her little family waved to her through the screen, signaling their sign off from the Videochat. 

—

Rey wasted no time waking up and calling Ben. She knew it was pretty late back where they lived, but he told her to call. So, it was half seven in London when she sat down in front of her laptop at the little table in the hotel room, pulling her legs under her and sipping her warm morning tea slowly. She waited patiently for Ben to answer the call, looking at herself through the little icon in the corner of the screen. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun from it’s night of rest, no makeup, freckles on full display, almost as much as her bump was beneath the oversized shirt. 

She couldn’t believe how much bigger she felt already, And the fact that she could no longer look down and see her feet gave her some mixed feelings. Her heart was ever the more grateful that her babies were happy and growing healthily, but was it necessary for her to already be as big as she was? She could see her toes, but that was about it. 

It didn’t take too long for Ben to answer, and she was grateful to see his face that morning. He looked a little rumpled, but mainly because he had already changed to go to bed. He was lounging on the couch that night, the soft blue hue of the television casting against his face. A single lamp was on, providing just enough light for Rey to see him in all his glorious sleepiness. 

“Hi, my love,” Rey said between sips of her tea. Ben’s brown eyes shifted from where they were on the television screen to the phone, grinning lazily as he saw his wife in her usual morning appearance. 

“Hi, Sweetheart,” he murmured back, his voice low and gruff as the night went on. 

“Is Ivy asleep?”

“Yeah, she’s asleep in our room right now. She had a hard time sleeping alone in her room last night, so I took her into ours.”

“Was it her or you who had the trouble sleeping,” Rey asked with a quirk of her eyebrow. 

Ben smirked and looked to a space above the camera. “That’s none of your concern.”

“Come on,” Rey giggled, leaning over her bump to sit her teacup down on the glass table carefully. “You can admit that you can’t sleep without me.”

“Sometimes it’s nice to have someone to sleep next to,” he admitted with a smirk, but then continued slowly as the right words came to mind. “It was just best for the two of us to stay together rather than to be alone.”

“So, what I’m hearing is that you both miss me rather badly.” 

“I guess you could say we feel something because of your absence.”

Rey laughed quietly, wrapping her arm around the swell of her belly protectively, as if her laugh were going to disturb the babes. Ben noticed this on the screen and his smirk transformed into the soft, loving grin Rey knew all too well. 

“How are you? All three of you?”

Rey sighed, moving her other hand to sit at the top of the curve. “We’re doing okay. I feel really pregnant right now, though.”

“Let me see your bump,” he requested carefully. 

Rey pulled up the bottom of his shirt shyly, rolling it to right underneath her breasts. The skin was so smooth underneath her delicate fingertips, yet so taught as it accommodated room for the tiny humans growing inside of her. “They’ve been still for a little while, apart from some hiccups, I believe.” She sat forward in her seat, shifting her position so Ben could see how much the expanse now poked out over the waistline of her pajama pants.

“It’s so weird watching from through a screen,” Ben admitted absentmindedly as he watched his beautiful wife transform in her motherhood. 

“I know,” Rey agreed, giving her bump one last caress before pulling her shirt back down, finding her curled position in the chair and her hands resting on the swell carefully. “Living our lives through a screen is a tad exhausting.”

“That’s why I’m so thankful you and I live together in one place,” he replied, blinking slowly at her. 

“Long distance does not look good on us,” she giggled. 

“Not at all,” he replied deeply. 

Rey giggled even more as she watched her sleepy husband before continuing her updates. “Yesterday was my first set of meetings. They were very informational, yet nothing I didn’t already know from living here. I went out to lunch with my coworkers, followed by more meetings. Instead of going out to explore the city, I stayed in and rested.”

“Do you feel okay?” Ben’s eyebrows furrowed as his gaze shifted to one of concern as his wife spoke. 

“I feel fine,” Rey shrugged. “I was very nauseous earlier yesterday morning but took what I needed to help it subside. My lower back is starting to feel the weight of these two aliens inside of me.”

Ben did a nose laugh at her statement, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “It makes you think how great you had it with a companion, doesn’t it?”

“Careful,” Rey smirked. “I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but I would definitely do it for you if you tease me for coming alone again.”

“If you did, I would crawl through your computer screen and physically fight you,” he said, staring off at something above the camera absentmindedly, yet still focused on her. Rey laughed aloud, tilting her head back as her shoulders shook. Ben smiled a playful smile, loving the effect he had on her sometimes. 

“I wish you would, Ben,” she chuckled, leaning up to grab her teacup again. “Makes it feel like you’re the dominant alpha of the year, doesn’t it?”

“As defending champion, are you nervous?” Rey’s jaw dropped and a breathy laugh escaped her throat. 

“From my throne, absolutely! Don’t fuck with me.”

“I think I already checked that off the to-do list,” Ben replied with a smirk. Rey shook her head, cheeks flushing furiously and finished off her tea. She avoided his gaze for a moment before responding. 

“You’re impossible.”

“Impossibly hilarious. It’s a shame others can’t experience this.”

“You’re seriously no match for Poe, though,” his wife told him flatly. He cut her a slight glare before returning his gaze to the screen above his phone. 

“Just because I don’t use idiot humor doesn’t mean I ‘don’t stand a chance,’” he defended. “My humor is also pretty sophisticated, if I say so myself.”

“You just did,” said Rey. 

“Yes, thank you,” he chuckled lightly, running a hand through his short hair. “What’s on your agenda for today?”

“I’m actually going to go meet Tallie for tea and lunch at a local bistro in the city after my meeting,” she told him. 

“Tallie?” His gaze moved down to her through the screen. “The one you were friends with there?”

“Yeah,” answered Rey, grabbing her phone from the table. “We were friends all through primary and secondary school. I almost stayed here and went to school with her before I left.” She began scrolling through her friends list on her social media to find a photo of Tallie. 

“I’m glad you didn’t stay,” Ben said, moving a hand behind his head, reclining comfortably on the couch. Rey’s eyes jumped up to him on the screen, a smile spreading across her face. 

“I’m glad you say so,” she chuckled. “After ten years, a marriage, and three children.” Ben offered no retort as he just smiled cheesily at her, causing her eyes to roll playfully. 

“I send you a picture of her to see when we finish,” she informed, locking her phone and setting it down on the table again. Ben nodded, eyes shifting to right below the camera as the notification reached his phone. 

“She said she has some sort of ‘proposition’ for us to discuss once we meet.”

“Oh?” Ben’s gaze turned back to her. “Did she provide any detail?”

“Not a single one,” Rey sighed. “It makes me kind of nervous. There were times that her schemes became a little too risky whenever we were young.”

“Rey,” Ben said seriously. “I know you’re excited to see her, but I beg you, with all that is within me, don’t put yourself, or our children, into any danger.”

Rey crosses her arms over her chest defiantly. “We’re not going to get into trouble! We’re adults now, with proper careers and families to worry about. I’m sure it’s not anything life endangering.”

“I surely hope not. But if it is—and this is a promise, not a threat—I will seriously crawl through your screen and fight you.”

Rey giggled and nodded her head, her bun flopping just a tad from its messy style. “I promise you, we will be okay.”

Ben released a sigh of relief. “Good.”

Rey hummed quietly. “What are your plans for tomorrow?”

“Morning workout; a couple of lectures, as usual. Department meetings and some finalizations on my dissertation.”

The young woman squealed in delight for her husband’s efforts in completing his highest degree. “How much longer do you have till you finish?”

“I revise it with a couple of my advisors tomorrow, and then I make my final edits before submitting it.”

Rey’s heart swelled with pride for her intelligent husband. He has worked so hard to earn the honor of his doctorate. For as long as she had known him, Ben poured himself into his art, his studies, his passions. And it was all finally paying off, and he would finally earn his professional merit he has long deserved. 

“I’m so proud of you, Ben,” Rey mused, looking at her husband fondly through her screen. He was watching something above the camera, but was still listening to her. It’s what he normally did when he talked about himself. He truly didn’t find what his agenda presented as earth-shattering, so he kept it to himself and remained humble about it. It’s what Rey rolls her eyes to about him, and she tries her hardest to get him to not be so hard on his accomplishments and comparison. 

At her statement, however, Ben smiled, a genuine smile, that Rey absolutely adored most. His lips closed together, but a grin at the side of his mouth remained. 

“Thank you, Sweetheart.”

“I think it’s so exciting that you’re almost done,” she exclaimed, sitting up a little taller in her seat. “We’ll get to see you walk across a stage again and celebrate when the time comes.”

“A party really isn’t necessary Rey—.”

“This year is bound to be full of parties, whether you like it or not,” she replied proudly, smirking smugly. “Gender reveals, baby showers, birthdays, graduations, all of it.”

“I guess this is the life we’ve chosen.”

“You bet it is,” Rey said enthusiastically. “And it’s going to be so much fun.”

Ben grinned before a yawn overtook him, causing his hand to come up and cover his face slightly. Rey chuckled, glancing at the time on her laptop. 

“I’ll let you get some sleep. You’ve got a pretty busy day tomorrow. I’ll keep you updated periodically.”

“Alright,” he agreed, his yawn finally ending. “I’ll update you as well.”

“Rest, my Love. Give Ivy and BeeBee my love as well.”

“Will do. Goodnight, Rey.”

“Goodnight, Ben. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Double post!! More fluff!! No stressy, just fluff!! 
> 
> I love this Reylo fam so much, y’all. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> All my love! X


	24. A Million Charming Words (pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The pictures I never took  
> Of the happiest times of my life  
> Are just worn-out thoughts in time.
> 
> Time will not escape us now.”  
> -A Million Charming Words; Sleeping At Last 
> 
> —
> 
> For the first time in nearly a decade, Rey visits an old friend, and my, how the adventure had never ceased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So y’all...I named this chapter the same as chapter 17. Please forgive me as Sleeping At Last only has a number of songs. Plus the lyrics just work so well. 
> 
> I’m so dumb lol. Please enjoy!!

Later that second day, Rey found herself inside of a newly renovated bistro that wasn’t too far down the block from her hotel. She walked there in a white sweater with a high waisted olive green skirt that sat just above her bump. With a brown leather satchel draped across her body, she made her way down to the shoppe to meet up with her longtime friend. 

She couldn’t tell if it was butterflies in her stomach or jolts from one of the babies, but she felt a little jittery all morning, even through her seminar. Tallie and her hadn’t seen each other in ten years—what if she doesn’t look the same? What if Tallie doesn’t like the way Rey has changed since leaving? Since becoming a mother? All these little anxious thoughts ran through her mind until the moment her eyes landed on the other woman. 

And just like that, all her fears disappeared as she looked her best friend in the face—her childhood best friend, the one she grew up with, the little girl she could still see behind the makeup and fancy hairstyle. Rey stood a little away from the door and stared at Tallie, taking in how beautiful she had become. It wasn’t long for the crystal-blue eyes girl to look and and locked eyes with Rey. 

Shock, surprise, and overwhelming gladness flooded the other woman’s gaze as she took in Rey. Tallie stood up, making Rey hurry her way over to the lady. With arms wide open, Tallie embraced the young mother, standing taller than Rey, like she always did. Rey clutched onto her, letting out a watery laugh as the two shared an emotional reunion. Tallie was in tears as well, giggling along with Rey as they embraced. It had been too long, and they both knew it. 

When Rey pulled back, Tallie looked her up and down, jaw dropping and a slow gasp escaping her throat as she saw Rey’s bump. With the quirk of a grin in the corner of her lips, she waited for Rey to explain. 

All the other woman could do was grin shyly, ears burning as Tallie realized her friend was pregnant. Rey used her hands to caress the roundness of her bump over her skirt, allowing Tallie a full look at how big she had become. She clasped her hands underneath her bump, scrunching up her nose as the woman leaned towards her, giggling happily at her. 

“My goodness, Rey,” her higher pitched voice exclaimed, hands moving to press against her chest. “You are radiant! Look at you!”

Rey wiped her eyes with a chuckle, hoping her minimal makeup wasn’t ruined. She nodded her head with a large smile. “Thank you, Tallie. I feel like an oversized balloon.”

“Oh, hush,” Tallie swatted the air next to her. “You are gorgeous. Please, sit! I don’t want you exhausting yourself already.”

Rey happily took a seat in the booth Tallie had chosen for them. “This isn’t my first pregnancy, you know.”

“Of course; I see little Ivy on your pages frequently and I can’t help but think of how much she is your daughter.”

With a light chuckle, Rey made herself comfortable, crossing her ankles under the table. “You’d be surprised. She’s just like her father.”

“Really?” Tallie’s eyes widened in fascination as she leaned her elbows against the table, her chin resting in the palms of her hands. “And this husband of yours!”

Rey nodded with a grin. “Ben. He’s the love of my life, and the father of my children.”

“Tell me about him! I never truly know if it’s ever been appropriate for me to friend him as well since we’ve never met!”

Rey giggled shyly, telling her that she was more than welcome to befriend her husband. And on that note, where could she begin to describe him? The best place she thought to start was when they met at Uni, then spent a year or so hopelessly pining over each other. She proceeded into their dating period after spring break and how their group of friends got them together during that wild week. Trying to keep the story short, she told of how they married shortly after becoming engaged, and proceeded to start a little family not long after.

“So you absolutely knew he was the one,” Tallie asked after ingesting all the information about her friend.

Rey nodded. “We just knew, Tal. There’s always been something connecting us and we trusted it. So far, it’s been the best part of my life.”

“I’m so happy for you, Rey,” Tallie said with happy eyes. “You finally found your happily ever after.”

“I did,” Rey smiled shyly, hands subconsciously caressing her bump. “And I couldn’t be more grateful.”

“And this baby,” the other woman started. “Makes number two?”

“Babies,” Rey corrected. 

“Babies!” Tallie’s eyes went even wider as she exclaimed the word. “You’re having twins?”

With a giggle, Rey confirmed Tallie’s question. “Yes. Ben’s mother and uncle are twins, and they run pretty far in his family line.”

“Blimey, Rey!” The young woman’s hands went to the side of her head in disbelief. “And you traveled all the way here, alone, pregnant, and willingly?”

“I never said I was a pansy,” Rey laughed, looking at Tallie incredulously. “Before I left, I would do this kind of thing routinely.”

“Yeah, but you’d never just be up the duff doing it! That takes a pair to do.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Tal, but you sound just like Ben,” Rey stated with a teasing tone to her voice. “I can take care of my own.”

“Of course you can,” Tallie replied with a roll of her blue eyes. Her arms were now crossed on the table as she leaned forward towards her friend. “But know you’re a fucking divvy for putting Ben through that worry.”

“He’s a strong guy. He’ll be okay,” Rey winked. 

Tallie hummed before she scrunched up her nose, trying not to release a giggle as Rey returned the expression. 

After a moment to settle, Rey picked up the glass of water provided to them and looked at her friend. “Tell me what your incredible life has been up to lately.”

Tallie released a smiling sigh. “Well, I did what my parents didn’t want me to do and joined the Royal Air Force when you left. I don’t know why—I was depressed and felt like I wasn’t meant to be anywhere except for the sky. So, I learned how to work on planes, fly them, build them, and all kinds of other stuff.”

“Gracious, Tallie,” Rey huffed out a quiet breath as the weight of the woman’s words sat on her chest. She never even realized how hurt Tallie must have been when she left. Of course, there was no ill will between them, but she never would have guessed that the little girl who played in the dirt with her would be trained in the military—because she felt like she had no other choice. “That’s absolutely brilliant.”

Tallie shrugged, avoiding Rey’s gaze as she looked down into the palms of her hands. “I didn’t know what to do with myself. Without you, without the plan I had in mind for us, I felt lost. But the one thing I did know was that I wanted to fly away from here, like you did. So I enlisted and accomplished what I wanted.”

Rey’s heart broke at the statement. She remembered being so consumed by her own depression that she didn’t recognize that Tallie was trying her best to make it better. If she had one wish, she wished that she could go back in time and comfort her best friend, and had listened to her. But then she wouldn’t have her amazing life now. It was a troubling concept, but she knew this was for the best. Rey leaned up from her relaxing position and reached out to grab Tallie’s hand on the table. 

“I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry for causing so much grief,” Rey said, fighting back the urge to cry (if those damn hormones hit one more time, she was going to throw punches). “But you’ve had an amazing life here regardless.”

Tallie squeezed the other woman’s hand carefully with a closed grin. “And so have you, with that handsome man and cute baby.”

Rey giggled and sat back against the wooden booth. “They’re definitely something. But what about you? Anyone in your life?”

“Yes, I’ve found me a keeper,” Tallie smiled. “Erik is a joy. Met him on one of my trainings in Norway a few years ago. He came back with me to live here and he’s loved it. We travel back and forth every so often when we’re not training.” She picked up her phone from the table and dove into her photo album to find an image of him. Finding the best one, she showed Rey, who immediately fawned over the tall, blond man. 

“Wow, Tal! He’s very attractive,” Rey commented, not feeling guilty about confessing her feelings on his appearance. Ben would have to agree with her; he was aware of the physicality of other men. Tallie giggled with a perky nod, clearly excited to be talking about her partner. 

“He’s so loving, Rey. My parents were so glad I met him. They thought it was just going to be my sister and her longtime girlfriend to be married, which they were fine with. It’s probably their only positive about me joining the RAF.”

Both girls laughed as Tallie showed her more images of the striking man. They continued to discuss their personal lives, catching each other up on the last ten years as much as they could before their order was placed and brought to them a few minutes later. 

A few minutes after they were served, Tallie popped the question. 

“Are you ready to hear my proposition?”

“Bloody yes. You’ve had me going mental since you sent the message,” Rey almost moaned in relief at no longer waiting in suspense. She took a bite of her salad so Tallie could have a moment to clear her throat. 

“So, being in the RAF, I’ve had the fortunate opportunity to meet tons of people and make connections, right?”

Rey hummed as she continued to eat. 

”There was this one time Erik and I were stationed in Prague. We met one of the locals who told us a little urban legend of the surrounding small countries and an infamous family.”

“Neat,” Rey said leisurely between bites of her obnoxiously basic kale salad.

“Obviously, you’re aware that Czechoslovakia was under Soviet control for a number of years from nineteen sixty-eight to nineteen eighty-nine.”

“Not exact dates, but yes.”

“Well,” she said before taking a bite of her sandwich. Putting a hand over her mouth, like she did as a child, she continued on excitedly. “Alexander Dubček, he was the First Secretary of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia.”

“Tal,” Rey shook her head, doubting the point of her story. “Where is this going?”

“Just wait,” she gushed to Rey, staring at her incredulously. “Dubček was influenced by people associated with the Soviet leadership and Stalinist reforms. There was a specific person involved, Sheev Palpatine, who was one of those many Stalinist voices. He was a pretty influential leader that Dubček was fearful of.”

“Tallie,” Rey said flatly, giving her a bored expression, trying to urge her friend to get to the point. 

“Wait,” nagged the other woman. “But before Palpatine could be caught and punished, he just, tapped out.”

“Tapped out?”

“Went underground, disappeared, choose whatever synonym you want. But they tried to look for him, but there was no trace.”

“Odd.”

“Very,” said Tallie, huffing out a breath. “However, there’s something even more odd.” 

Rey hummed for the sake of pleasing her friend, still eating her salad. Man, had she really picked up on Ben’s sarcastic ways.

“There’s barely any record, but supposedly, Palpatine got with someone, married, and had a child. He raised his son in opulence or whatnot. But—and this is the important part—his son fell in love with a girl and apparently got her pregnant.”

“The usual young-adult trash fiction.”

“Rey,” Tallie chided with a frown. “I’m really serious right now.”

“M’sorry,” replies the other woman behind a hand, not wanting to show her speaking with a mouth full. Tallie continues to give her a disapproving glare, causing Rey’s eyes to go wide and her posture to change in defense. “I’m totally serious, too, Tal,” she said after finishing her bite. “Please keep going.”

Tallie waited an extra second to truly trust of her friend was being honest. When Rey passed her judgement, her friend picked up where she left off. 

“What’s worse is that Palps was not happy with him, whatsoever. He claimed that his son was irresponsible, ruining the face of the family, and disgraced him. The only proposition for the son to remain in the family was if he would make his child, hopefully a son, be raised in his grandfather’s care and trained for a life of supremacy. Whatever. 

“Supposedly, the son and the girl ran away. To England, as told from the journal—.”

“Wait,” interrupted Rey. “You read a journal about this?”

“Oh yeah,” nodded Tallie. “It was the diary of the son’s mother’s niece. It was passed down in that niece’s family line. Her daughter is the one we met.”

“Tallie, that’s incredible!” Rey’s eyes were wide with curiosity. “Keep going.”

“See, I told you this would be good,” Tallie teased with the tilt of her head back smugly before she was urged by Rey to continue yet again. “So, this niece is receiving letters from the son, her being the only one who knows of their location while Palpatine is on the hunt for them. Eventually, he writes a letter saying that they were in London. He doesn’t call because he’s afraid someone was listening, like everything in his homeland used to be. Then, there is nothing until four months after the last letter, which essentially told the niece that the son’s girl had the baby, but had to leave the infant in the hospital in fear of Palpatine catching up to them. 

“The birth certificate wasn’t signed, but dated by a nurse on May fifteenth, nineteen ninety-one,” Tallie finished, looking seriously at Rey who had since stopped eating her salad to understand what her friend was saying. 

“You don’t think—?”

“I don’t know,” replied Rey’s friend. “That’s why I have a proposition for you.”

Rey had to make an internal check to see if she was still breathing before Tallie spoke again. A sudden strike of fear landed in her chest, triggering the thoughts she worked so hard to repress—about the possibility of her having a family out there somewhere—flooded back into her mind.

“While you’re here, I think it would be an awesome idea for us to find out if you’re that baby.”

“Tallie,” Rey leaned back against the booth again, disoriented by the complete shock and wave of anxiety that plummeted into her. “We have nothing to go off of, not enough time, nor the access to this random stranger you met how many odd years ago. Plus,” she released a huff of air. “I am nearly twenty weeks pregnant with twins. I promised my husband I would refrain from hyperactivity while I’m away.”

“C’mon, Rey,” Tallie pleaded with a begging in her eyes. “Wouldn’t it be fun to see, for the first time, if this is where you came from?”

“I came from a woman’s vagina on the same day that birth certificate was dated. Thousands, maybe millions, of babies were born that day in England. There’s no way it’s me,” Ray said with a serious expression. 

“You don’t know that,” countered Tallie. 

Rey sighed. “No, I don’t. Plus, I’ve got work things I have to do—.”

“Which take place in the morning,” Tillie interjected with a raise of her pointer finger. “I’ve read over your schedule. You have thirteen days plus this afternoon to start your quest. And besides, you told me that they aren’t requiring you to go to the meetings.”

“Some of them are managerial meetings, but a lot are informative on the progress in British interior design.”

“Well, you can find that information in an Elle or House and Garden magazine,” Tallie responded with a tilt of her head. “Get your meetings done in the morning, and we can do some scavenging, like the old days.”

Rey laughed at the sarcastic comment. Her mind then led her to consider the truth in Tallie’s statement and to recall the fun memories the two of them made as mischievous children. 

“Tal, I hate to break it to you—even though I’ve said it a number of times—but right now, I’m not in the best of conditions to scavenge.”

“Don’t worry, Erik and I will make sure you are well taken care of and aren’t involved with too much strenuous activity. You just have to trust us.”

Releasing a heavy sigh, already predicting some of the consequences in going through with this plan, Rey shook her head. “Ben’s going to have my ass.”

“Who cares? He isn’t here, and he doesn’t own you,” the woman questioned with a deadpan, unimpressed glare at the woman sitting across from her. 

“He’s my husband, Talia,” Rey defended passively, using her full name out of weary frustration. “He cares about my well-being. Plus, he’s on edge already because of me being away from the safety of my doctor and his own protection.”

“You just told me that he could get over that,” countered Tallie. “That ‘he’s a strong guy’.”

“He is. He just doesn’t want something happening to the three of us here,” Rey added, gesturing to her bump. “We’re half his family, minus himself and Ivy, across the world where he couldn’t reach us in time.”

Tallie sighed heavily, tapping her nails against the wooden table. “That’s fair. But what’s the point in traveling if you can’t take risks?”

Rey shifted in her seat, feeling the judgement that Tallie was obviously giving her. She squinted her eyes at her friend. “Are you trying to make me feel bad for being cautious?”

“I could be,” replied the woman boldly. “You’ll just never have this opportunity ever again in your life, not with the upcoming expansion of your family.”

Considering this thought even more, Rey weighed her options mentally. If she didn’t pursue this, she would go about her life, still unaware—yet not blissfully—about where she came from, who her family was. However, if she did, she would finally have the questions she could only dream answers to finally squared away, no longer guessing at her family lineage. 

But on the downside, Ben would probably have a stroke if he found out she was going on a fox hunt for her birth parents.

“I’m in,” she said listlessly, not truly focused on anything other than the thoughts racing through her mind. Tallie perked up from the other side of the booth, eyes dazzling with excitement at the confirmation she received. 

“Really?”

“Yes,” agreed Rey. “Accept it before I change my mind.”

Tallie squealed in delight. “This is going to be so much fun! You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this moment,” she gushed, but the voices inside of Rey’s head were louder, drowning out the shrill giddy bursting from the person she had just reunions with after a decade of silence.

She prayed to anything above that this wasn’t going to be a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> HOLY MOLY. This chapter may seem short but DONT BE FOOLED! 
> 
> This plot line is so long and detailed...and it’s almost all written. I want to save it for several chapters because it’s super special to me and feels like a start in the perfect direction.
> 
> I want to make this more than the one shot style. I’ve contemplated for days on scrapping the story, but I just love these two so much. I love creating their life together...
> 
> It just seems so unorganized.
> 
> So, from now on, this story is one that follows the events of Ben and Rey’s life in domesticity. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy :) thank you for all the love and kudos! I did a lot of research while I wrote this, and pulled some of my own knowledge from traveling abroad to Prague last summer. 
> 
> Please note that anything about Palpatine and Rey’s backstory is purely fiction, but I had to base it loosely off of true events (like the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991. Forgive me if anything is not 1000000% accurate. I’m just trying to tie stuff together (-: ) 
> 
> All my love! X


	25. When It Don’t Come Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When you break down  
> I'll drive out and find you  
> When you forget my love  
> I'll try to remind you  
> And I'll stay by you when it don't come easy  
> When it don't come easy  
> It don't come easy.”
> 
> -When It Don’t Come Easy; Sleeping At Last, cover (originally by Patty Griffin)   
> —  
> Rey, Tallie, and Erik begin putting the pieces of their plan together. However, due to unfortunate circumstances, Ben makes the decision to get himself involved.

After their lunch, and the absolute scene that felt like something from a Nancy Drew novel, Rey and Tallie took a cabbie back to her flat farther away in the city. There, a white stoned townhouse gazed upon them, with fancy decorations hanging on the tall black door. Potted flowers sat on the steps and in cozy little flower boxes on the windows. Rey would have never expected this life—a girly, frilly life—for Tallie, who was just as much Miss Fix-It as Rey. As children, they would rather play outside and work on spare parts in Mister Lintra’s garage. The sight of both of them in fancy outfits, purses, and makeup was definitely different than the overalls, torn jeans, and dirt that used to be their “look of the day.”

Tallie, after paying for the cab, led Rey up the stone steps to the door, and escorted her inside the place she called home. The first thing Rey saw when the door opened was a very tiny foyer that displayed the wooden staircase and the opening to the full living room. A chest of drawers and a mirror sat next to the curved railing, displaying family photos and those of Tallie and the man she was currently seeing. Stepping inside further, Rey took a look inside the large living area, where a chandelier hung above two yellow couches, decorated with brown, black, and white throw pillows. There was an Aztec-style rug between the two sofas, pulling together the neutral and gold theme of the room. The dining area was just on the other side of the couch, where a light wooden table and four yellow wooden chairs sat with beautiful flowers as its resident centerpiece. All kinds of images, artworks, and mirrors lined the walls, especially the television mirror over the white marble fireplace. 

Rey had never seen such luxury in London before, and quite frankly, she now completely understood why her company wanted to take this business opportunity. 

On one of the couches facing the kitchen and dining area was a blond, muscular man lounging with his thin laptop against his thighs and a little white dog next to his leg.

Tallie went around the gawking Rey, amazed at the opulence of the flat. Giggling lightly at her friend, she sat her purse down on the kitchen table, looking over her shoulder to the man casually working on his laptop. 

“Babes, this is Rey,” Tallie introduced with a smile, making her way back to where Rey was standing. “The friend that I had a really long time ago. She moved away before I enlisted.”

Erik, the handsome blond man Rey had seen in the photos, looked up to her with similar sparkling blue eyes, and a white, perfect smile gleaming up at her. No wonder why Tallie kept him around. 

“Hello, Rey,” he greeted kindly, standing up from the couch causing the dog to topple over on the couch. He was wearing a pair of black chinos with a light blue shirt, and glasses on his masculine, Norwegian features. His accent was still thick, but his formal English was nearly spotless. “It’s lovely to meet you, finally.” 

He stuck out his hand to shake hers, which she returned generously. Her hazel eyes looked up at him, as he also towered over her. With a happy grin, she responded. “Likewise, Erik.”

“What brings you home so early?” Erik looked from Rey to Tallie, and Rey noticed how his gaze softened even more on the woman he loved. He crossed his toned, muscular arms over his broad chest leisurely, which sent butterflies into the pit of Rey’s stomach. She was stunned by this hunk of a man in front of her. It made her wish she had Ben here to show off as well. 

“Do you remember when we were in Prague and learned about that urban legend?” Tallie looked up at him, hands her own blue eyes blinking with excitement. “I know that’s vague of me to ask, but remember?”

Erik paused to think about her question. Slowly, his head began to shake as his eyebrows remained furrowed behind his golden round glasses. “Yes, I believe so. The one about the missing son?”

“Yes,” Tallie’s voice chirped as she bounced on the balls of her feet. Her jewelry jingled with the slight movement, catching the attention of the dog. “That one.”

“Yes, I remember,” replied Erik with a grin. 

“I think I found that son’s child,” Tallie said so casually, yet so seriously. It took the Erik a second to register the weight of her words. His face looked stunned as Rey’s as he tried to process what was said. 

“You found the child? What does that mean? That story is nearly,” he paused to remember when the girl they encountered said it took place. “Thirty years ago?”

Rey cringed ever so slightly at that. 

“Doesn’t matter how long ago it was,” she said drastically. “Because that child is standing right here in our flat.”

The three of them stood in silence, and Rey shifted her feet slightly, grasping onto the strap of her satchel sheepishly.

“Love,” Erik said disapprovingly after a moment, looking rather weary at the accusation. “That’s a rather large claim you’re making there. I would hate to impose the unfortunate circumstance of Rey not having parents, which I’m not assuming—.”

“It’s alright, Erik,” Rey reassured the nervous man with a warm smile. “I actually do not know who my birth parents are. And Tallie has known this since we were small.”

Erik released a held breath as if it was a weight being lifted off his chest. “I was afraid that you would take offense. It’s not customary to assume someone is an orphan in my homeland.”

“Nor is it here, but I do appreciate your sensitivity.”

“Anyway,” Tallie drew out the word as she tried to move them away from the uncomfortable topic. “Even though we don’t know officially if Rey is that lost child, I’ve convinced her otherwise to search for her ancestry while she’s here for the next eleven.” With an excitable grin, she bounced her way to the kitchen, leaving the other two watching curiously. 

“Tal,” Erik called to her as she bustled around, using the same nickname Rey knew her as. “Even if Rey did agree to this preposterous idea, I don’t think that would be enough time for her to figure this out.”

“Oh, it will be,” Tallie grinned maniacally. “I have it all planned out and almost perfect. Down to the last bullet point.”

Erik and Rey both lifted an eyebrow to the woman, who was now exhibiting some significant signs of insanity. With a roll of her eyes, mascara-coated lashes fluttering shockingly elegantly, in Rey’s opinion, she stormed through the kitchen and to the office on the other side of the house. Coming back, she handed Erik a journal that was well kept, organized, and from the looks of it, color coated. 

“Since you can speak Czech pretty well, your first assignment is to call her, the girl, and ask her more about the story. Then, you ask her what we can do if we think we know who the child is.”

“That’s a loaded request,” Erik said before looking to Rey, who was swaying from side to side, trying to relieve some of her back pain. “Please sit, Rey. Make yourself at home.”

Rey murmured a humbled thanks as she lowered herself down onto the fluffy couch, leaning back into the way her body gave some relief to the discomfort. She usually never felt like this, but traveling so far and doing so much more than she would normally do has taken a toll on her body. 

“It is. But I know how you love me and are just as nosy as I am,” Tallie said mindlessly as she went back into the kitchen, preparing a glass of water for her pregnant friend. Rey felt bad for the inconvenience, and expressed this through a bashful grin and a thanks. Tallie waved a hand, then turned back to Erik. “Every question you need to ask her is labeled in the first section of your task, colored in green.”

Erik sighed once more, opening the journal slowly, almost afraid to reveal its contents and his newly absurd responsibilities. “I mean, I guess it wouldn’t be too hard to call someone from halfway across the mainland of Europe,” he said flatly, impressed by the amount of work she put into this plan, but sorely displeased by how he was thrown into the ring without question. 

“Great,” Tallie said unabashedly. “Go call her now. Like you said, time is not on our side.”

“So bossy,” Erik teased, walking back over to where his laptop sat, scooping it up and headed for the office, the little white dog trailing after him. Tallie grinned smugly before holding up a finger, signaling for Rey to wait. Then, she heard the door close from the other side of the kitchen, and a low groan escape from the man. 

The women giggled at that, Rey feeling more sympathetic for Erik who was just whacked in the face with a large and serious task. But kudos for Tallie for having this all planned out. 

Tallie gestured for Rey to follow her to the more comfortable of seating options, to which Rey obliged happily. As they sat, Rey continued to drink her water, hopefully helping whatever this feeling she was experiencing subside. 

“How long have you had this planned, Tal,” Rey asked, holding the thin glass in her hands. Tallie, who had her legs curled up on the couch next to her friend, played with the fray of her stressed jeans. She shrugged slightly, avoiding Rey’s gaze intentionally. 

“Erik and I,” she began before pausing, not sure if she wanted to truly let Rey know how long she had been missing her. With a deep breath, she continued on. “We went to Prague about six years ago.”

“Gracious, Tallie,” Rey said with a gasp, shocked to the core. “Did you immediately start thinking of this mental scheme once you learned of it?”

“No, no,” Tallie chuckled nervously. “It took me a while to really process what she told us. We were training there, so I couldn’t necessarily dwell on it. About a year later, I went back to my journals and found where I documented everything.”

“What made you go back to your journals?”

“Erik and I were moving here and one night, I had unpacked the boxes of my books and notes from my old flat. I spent almost the whole night reading diary entries of when we were wee school girls with our crushes and our silly American boybands.”

Rey’s eyes lit up at the find memories that she and Tallie shared as teenagers in secondary school. It was when they were finally starting to transition from overalls and dirty converses to summer dresses and nail polish. They started to gossip about people at school, the latest boyband that was popular, and the boys they longed to snog outside against the back brick wall. Her face flushed at the instant recollection of boys they had whispered about and wrote ridiculous journey entries for. She would scream if Ben knew about that—hell, sixteen year old Rey would literally die if she knew that at twenty-five she would marry a man like Benjamin Solo. 

The complete recognition that her inner teenage self was hyperventilating at the mental image of her godlike husband made her insides feel like mush. 

“Tallie, I had almost forgotten about those journals,” Rey said on an exhale, setting the glass down on a bumblebee coaster that was on the coffee table. “If Heaven only knew how Ben or Erik would react if they read them.”

Tallie nodded like she would when they were gossiping. The sight took Rey back a decade. “Oh, he has. And it was the most embarrassing thing ever.”

She went on to explain how Erik found her journal one morning from where she had fallen asleep with it in her hands. In an attempt to make her more comfortable, Erik took the journal and replaced it with a blanket to cover her sleeping form. While she was dead asleep, Erik, who felt the guilt of snooping through her childhood diary, pursued his nosy desires and read through the entries. It wasn’t until Tallie had woken up and was looking at her social media page, especially a magazine photo shoot of an actor (that Rey didn’t know) modeling with his clothes slightly off. Erik had approached her from behind, and instead of greeting her like he normally would, he teased her with her own sixteen year-old words of how he was the hottest man in the whole universe. 

Rey sat there, mouth agape at how shady the man could be. But she had to admit, it was rather hilarious. Tallie laughed as well, cackling through the entire story and at how she chased him around the house like a woman shooing a chicken with a broom. 

Oh, these were the times Rey missed desperately about London. 

After a while, Erik returned to the living area where the ladies were still resting, and had now began talking about the twins’ that were currently growing inside of Rey. It wasn’t until they had reached the conversation about a gender reveal that they recognized Erik, who was standing with his hands in his pockets, waiting for them to finish. 

“I spoke to her,” he informed them casually. “And she said she’s willing to meet us halfway since you are only here for a short amount of time.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Rey said gladly, and who was now rather knackered from all of the excitement of the day. 

Erik hummed in response. “And I checked some flights. We three can grab a flight in a couple of days, a hotel to stay at, and a round trip back for a relatively decent price.”

“Where is halfway,” Tallie asked, looking up to her partner, fiddling with the fringe of an end pillow now with peach-painted nails. 

“Cologne, Germany.”

“Blimey,” the woman exhaled on a heavy breath, looking to Rey, then back to Erik with a slightly dropped jaw. “That’s damn well far enough. How long would the flight be?”

“An hour and a half. We could make it a day trip if we really wanted.”

Tallie looked back over to Rey wearily. “I don’t want to put you in any health risk, or situations that you can’t handle. Are you sure you are able to do this?”

Erik agreed wholeheartedly. “Yes, Rey. We don’t want you risking you or your pregnancy just for Tallie to have a little thrill.” His partner shot him a glare that she shrugged off. “Please be one hundred percent honest with us.”

Rey looked between the two of them, contemplating on her answer. She took a breath before she decided on the right words. “This may be a once in a lifetime opportunity, especially since I’m about to become a mum of three. What the hell, why not?”

Her two friends broke out into ear-splitting grins at the stubborn mama in front of them, who was brave enough to go along with them and their spontaneously crazy adventures. It’s what Rey. Believed kept them wild for each other—spontaneity and absolute lust for life. 

God, how she loved her version of love for Ben instead. 

—

“And then she just decided that we should go figure out this mystery, like we’re some sort of conspiracy theorists.”

Rey was lounged on her hotel bed in a pale yellow silky pajama set (because wow was she experiencing a heat flash tonight and it was the thinnest thing she packed). Her hair fell loose in waves down her left shoulder as she laid on her side, talking to Ben through her laptop. 

Currently, he was in an office hour at work, as it was nearly three thirty in the afternoon where they lived. His office was a modest size, and he and Rey had made it look a whole lot better than the way it did before he was hired. They refurbished the wooden desk, moved the matching wooden bookshelves so he could display his impressive collection of novels and research resources, as well as publications of his own writings, poetry, and scripts. On his desk, Rey knew was a photo of the two of them, one of the family, and another of her and Ivy in a field of sunflowers one summer afternoon. 

His desk remained pretty orderly, displaying only the Mac desktop provided by university, the photos, and whatever document or book he needed for the day. It drove Rey insane at how minimalistic he was, only wishing for two comfortable chairs, a couple of lamps, pieces of Rey’s own art, and sheer curtains to decorate the rest of the space. Eventually, she came in decorated it more with other things, like his degrees on the walls behind him, certificate awards and other mentionable honors on shelves, and even a couple of hand-drawn pictures by Ivy on some of the filing cabinets. 

A mini fridge also sat in the back corner of his office, as did a coffee machine. And in the little K-cup rack he had, he made sure a number of Rey’s favorite teas were stocked in case she surprised him. 

Now, he was reclined in his comfortable office chair, rocking back and forth slowly as he listened to Rey describe the outrageous plan her friend has concocted merely hours ago while she divulged herself in the world’s most basic, generic fad diet salad in the world. His expression remained calm as she included the final part about them suggesting a wild goose hunt. 

“So, what you’re telling me,” he said leisurely, still rocking back and forth. “Is that your friend has proposed that you both scavenge the world and be the first to find out who this person might be.”

“Essentially?” Rey scrunched her eyebrows together skeptically. “But Ben,” she paused, pulling some of the sheets between her anxious fingers. “She thinks this person is me.”

“She believes that a Czech woman who approached her in the street in Prague, describing this crazy legend, is somehow your relative, and knows exactly where you come from—possibly?”

“Well, when you say it like that, it just sounds absolutely ridiculous,” Rey huffed out a breath, feeling a slight twinge in her side, which sent her hand immediately down to apply a soothing pressure. 

This didn’t slip past Ben so easily. He caught her reaction, leaning up from his relaxed position, uncrossing his legs and scooting closer to the screen. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” she replied, quieter this time, timidly trying to catch her breath in fear of another sharp sensation. Not wanting to concern him, she tried to play it off. “It was probably just a muscle releasing some tension.”

“Rey,” Ben started. “That didn’t look like it was what you described.”

She sat silently for a moment, trying to assess her physical pain to see if she was in distress. Still fearing that sharp pain again, she tried to inhale once more, feeling the sensation, but a little more intense the slower she went. 

“Rey,” he pressed further, looking at her worriedly. He knew she was going to be stubborn and let it roll off her like water on a duck’s back. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she answered, releasing the breath after flinching slightly. “We’re okay.” Rey forced a grin to wash over her nervous expression, now looking at Ben through the screen. “Just been a long day s’all.”

“Have you been feeling discomfort today,” he asked in the calm voice she knew he had to coach himself though. If he could have his way, he’d probably be panicking and demanding she return home now. 

This time, she decided to be honest. “Yeah, a lot in my lower back, and a major headache when I came back to the room after visiting her flat.”

“Have you eaten since your lunch date?”

“I could barely keep what I had for lunch down, and trying to eat dinner was difficult. But I did, eventually.”

“What did you eat?”

She looked at him sheepishly. “A bagel.”

“Rey,” he nearly scolded, pinching the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath to keep his cool. “I love you so much that it hurts, Sweetheart,” Ben added, clasping his hands together as if he was begging her. “But why do you not take care of yourself when you leave?”

“I’m trying, Ben,” she pleaded with him, going back to fidget with the sheets. “It’s hard to do when you’re alone and your emotions are running a thousand miles a minute, and the one you want next to you to help you eat isn’t here, and to help you when you need the reminder to take your medicine—.”

“Angel,” Ben cooed, now closer to the screen as Rey slowly began to recognize that she was crying, emotionally overwhelmed by everything and the fear of her babies’ health, and how much she missed him—.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad—no one is. I’m just very concerned about you and your current state.” His gaze softened upon her, desperately trying to reach her through this much he loved her. Oh, how he itched to be in that bed with her right now to hold her, take care of her, and to make sure she was safe. 

Right now, she was so unstable that Ben was nearly ready to hop on a plane and be with her. 

Rey brought a hand up to her face to wipe away the tears and allowed herself to pace her breathing. She still felt the pain in her side, but stuck it out so she could get oxygen to herself and her babies. 

“I’m okay,” she repeated a couple of times before sniffling. “It’s okay, we’re going to be okay.”

Once Ben felt she was somewhat composed, Ben spoke quietly to her. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come?”

“Yes,” she tried, but her face crumpled even more as she reconsidered her thoughts. “No.” 

Ben watched her carefully, eyes full of such concern for her. Rey knew he was worried. Hell, she was worried too, because she knew she wasn’t okay. 

“I really need you here, Ben,” Rey said before a sob overtook her barely composed state. Through the tears she kept speaking. “I, I thought I would be okay, and not so codependent, but damn,” she hissed the last word, “if this isn’t so hard.” 

“What’s so hard, Angel,” Ben asked her gently. 

“Being forced to fly across the bloody world for no good reason other than to keep my lousy job, the strong desire to want to go on that wild goose chase with my childhood best friend, feeling completely and utterly sick for the last—I can’t keep track anymore. I lost a day somewhere—three days? On top of all that being overwhelmingly pregnant and emotional is a real pain in the ass too.”

She sniffled once more, covering her face in her hands, rubbing her watery eyes, ashamed of her last sentence. “I absolutely love growing these babies, but it’s been really tough. My hormones are firing at double the speed, I’m already aware that this is high risk because there are two,” she held up two fingers, “two precious little beings that remind me that you’re always with me. But I’m also so, so scared that I’m going to lose that—again.”

“Rey,” Ben said in the most calming voice he could muster. He knew she needed to be talked down from the cliff she was on, and it scared him to death to wonder what was going to happen next. “I am going to find a flight and come to you.”

“But Ben, your classes, I can’t—.”

“I’m getting paid regardless if I teach them in person or not. The fact of the matter is, is that my wife is in England, supremely depressed and unwell. As your husband, and as a human with rights, I am going to come to you, okay? I will find you, and you will be safe.”

Rey could only nod her head, clutching the blankets close to her chest, which was now beginning to return back to it’s breathing pace. “Okay.”

“Just hang on until I get there, Sweetheart. I’m coming for you.”

She nodded again, this time quicker at the hope of him coming to her. The only thing on her mind now was how embarrassed she felt because she couldn’t handle her own self and her babies for two weeks away from Ben. 

However, what he told her was right. There was something else underlying going on causing her to feel rabidly emotional and clingy to him. As much as she loved him, she didn’t want to be codependent. 

“Can I ask you to do something for me?” Ben looked at her with a sincere gaze, voice still resonating warm and steady in hear ears. 

“Yes,” Rey answered, wiping away her dried tears. 

“I’m going to catch the quickest flight to London from here,” he confirmed. “Until I get there, please stay safe. Try to get some sleep. Take your medications, and message a coworker that you are feeling unwell so you can stay in the suite. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

She sniffled, nodding. “Okay.”

“Thank you,” he praised her. But before he could say any more, she interjected with another worried thought. 

“What about Ivy? You can’t leave her there alone—.”

“I will tell Mom briefly what’s going on. She’d be more than happy to watch her for as long as it takes.”

“Make sure she has her stuffed bunny wherever she goes. And let Leia stay in the house so Ivy won’t have to transition as shockingly.” It was amazing how her mama mind could immediately take over instinctively, even though Rey herself wasn’t there mentally and emotionally. 

“She doesn’t go anywhere without it,” Ben smiled, a genuine, little smile at how beautiful and incredible Rey was as a mother. He hated how belittled she felt because of the difficulties of her pregnancy. She was a wonderful mother, and as a person. But right now, she wasn’t okay. 

She wasn’t safe to be alone. And fuck that dark cloud that hung over her, making her feel guilty for it. 

Little did Rey know that Ben’s smile would instantly make the world a different place. His smile warmed her heart and filled her belly with butterflies—or excited jolts from the babies, she couldn’t tell. 

“I’ve got everything under control here. The only thing you are to worry about is to be resting. Absolutely nothing else.”

Rey nodded with a half-hearted chuckle. She was going to be okay, but it was going to take some time.”

“Okay.”

“I love you so, so much Rey. You have absolutely no idea.” 

She sniffled, gazing at him with eyes glossy with fresh tears at how fucking wonderful and loving he was. Grinning with trembling lips, she looked right back at him through the screen. 

“I love you too, Ben. More than you know.”

Ben’s own chin began to tremble at the wave of emotions that was finally hitting him. He used his hand to cover the movement to blow her a small kiss, which caused her to giggle away the tears. With one last wink and a goodbye, they ended their session. 

Ben spun around in his chair, leaning his elbows against his knees, and putting his hands on the back of his head. And just like sleep, he began to cry. Slowly, then all at once. 

His heart broke for his girl, the one he loved more than life itself. There was nothing he could do right now to help her and it killed him. It absolutely tore him to shreds because of how useless he felt for her. But at the same time, she was struggling with so much, and he knew he didn’t have all the answers she needed. 

Every waking moment he worried if she was going to lose it one day emotionally and hurt herself. It made him physically sick to think that she’d ever do something to hurt those two precious babies, or Ivy. He had experienced his fair share of depression, and still remains on medication to help him with it and other issues stemming from the mood disorder. 

Unfortunately, he believed she was suffering from it as well, and made it his number one priority to make sure she received the help. professional or familial, that she needed—that she deserved. 

Ben allowed himself a moment to break down into sobs in his private space. The emotions continued to plummet into him like high tidal waves. Or as if he was his own punching bag at the gym, receiving blow after blow. Once he was able to process his emotions and began to think rationally, Ben gathered his things from his office, making sure he had all the lessons for the next couple of weeks together, the books he needed, and other important items before he left his office, bound for an adventure across the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Wowowow I reread a chapter that I wrote so there could be some consistency in my writing...and yeah there were a lot of typos. 
> 
> SO
> 
> in an effort to make this story as clean and *good* as possible, I’m going to go back in and clean up my mistakes :-)
> 
> (Sometimes it’s hard to reread your own work bc you might change every thing impulsively...like I did with this chapter) 
> 
> Aha.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Bare with me as I go and do some house cleaning! 
> 
> All my love! X


	26. Next to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh, our futures were written with crayons in coloring books  
> It was misspelled and outside the lines and we loved how it looked  
> Like the crooked hem of your favorite childhood dress  
> And the holes in my jeans from years of carelessness  
> I know since we've grown, we ache for those memories  
> Honestly, nothing's even compared to you next to me, next to me.”
> 
> —Next to Me; Sleeping At Last
> 
> —
> 
> Rey allows herself to process her emotions after the rough call with her husband. However, Ben did as he promised; he found his way back to his Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> So! I’ve spent the last couple of days fixing some of the content and comprehension of my story so far, and I think we’re finally in the clear! Everything looks the way I would like it, and I hope it’s been a great read for you all!
> 
> Also, I rewrote some of Chapter 18: Countdowns. There were a TON of mistakes and continuity issues with my characters and exposition. Plus, for your added benefit, I wrote in a little extra interaction between baby Ben and Grandy Anakin!!

After Rey had gotten off the video chat with Ben, the first thing she did was meditate. Ben's uncle, Luke, told her that the best way to calm her inner emotions, especially in such delicate times as the ones Rey was experiencing, was through practicing mindfulness and submission to resistance. During her pregnancy with Ivy, she was desperate in finding ways to shut down her nesting habits, and thankfully, Luke had just what she needed. 

Rey climbed off of the bed, still sniffling, and rolled out a blanket onto the floor with a couple of pillows on top. Slowly, in fear of causing the pain to return in her side, she sat down, crossed her legs, and made herself comfortable for a few minutes of uninterrupted silence. She sat alone with a welcoming mind for whatever thought she happened to encounter. After pacing her breathing, thoughts began to approach her, and she told herself to address--a mindfulness tactic Luke told her would help the emotional thoughts become less painful.

Luke was a yoga trainer and mindfulness coach in his spare time. Rey's lips quirked up into a grin as she remembered the way he sat across from her, walking her through each of these techniques.

She began to think about everything that became troublesome to her. Her job; the insane and totally impulsive trek with Tallie and Erik, and now Ben, too; the current health and safety of the two babes growing inside of her; Ivy--oh, her poor baby girl who was about to be parentless so soon (which she knew was an exaggeration, but she and Ben were about to both be out of the country on such short notice, and Ivy was one who took time to transition). 

And so many of Rey's other responsibilities suddenly began to feel like the weight of the world on her chest. While she was in her meditative state, they all began to flood back onto her, but without the overwhelming power that they had while she was on the phone with Ben. 

As a starting place, she began addressing why she felt so strongly about wanting to be so independent. It was nothing new to her that she was so stubborn, always one to complete tasks on her own, finish them in her own style, and would never allow herself to ask for help with the more complicated of tasks, like putting together part of Ivy's dresser during her first pregnancy ("Sweetheart, if you don't watch yourself, or--oh, I don't know--ask for help every once and a while, you're going to hate it when it's just me to put all this together," Ben had said with hands on his hips, looking at his worker-bee of a wife disapprovingly as she proudly put together one of the drawers.). 

So was it truly a shock that she wanted to be so independent while working abroad?

Instinctively, she shook her head ever so slightly at the thought.

Ben had addressed this habit of hers multiple times in their decade-long relationship, which caused a significant amount of disputes as Ben came from a long line of hard-headed individuals, and Rey, who was as feisty as a small Terrier dog defending its favorite toy when combatted. (Kaydel, who had been there for many a dispute, recognized the similarities in the two of them and Ben's parents, who she had watched quarrel over little things when she and Ben were teenagers.)

Rey knew Ben was only watching out for her. He always made the effort to let her know that she was free to be as independent of a person as she wanted, but he desperately tried to convince her that he wanted to be a part of much of her life as well. If she was to go on an adventure, he would love to tag along, just so he could experience her joys with her. But he would never to inhibit her from doing them alone. Usually, she let him be her companion happily. But she wondered why this time she refused it.

Was it because she was afraid of what was to become of her when she found herself in the place that nearly smothered her with depression and heartache? Did she not want Ben to know this part of her life as vividly as she did? She and Ben had discussed some of this briefly throughout their marriage, but there were still many parts of both of their past lives that they weren't willing to share.

Maybe the fear of reopening the wound was too overwhelming. Maybe, they didn't want the other to fall out of love with them because of the person they used to be.

Now, she realized she needed the support another person, specifically her husband. Traveling abroad is rough on anyone who decides to travel on their own. However, she did as such to the place that was most triggering to her, pregnant, and dealing with her own personal struggles. Who was she to think that this was okay?

Ben was in the right for reacting as he did when she had to tell him of the news. Half of his little family was being pulled away from him against his approval, completely interrupting the significant changes in their lives--making sure Rey's high-risk pregnancy went as smoothly as possible, Ivy's transition into public school, and the arrival of the twins. Rey leaving was an abrupt shock, and had nearly sent Ben into an extended panic. He was one to worry extensively over the safety of the ones he loves, much like his father. She knew this would have driven him insane, but told him to simply have more faith and focus on their daughter.

It would have been different if she was traveling across the country for a shorter amount of time, not half way around the world for two weeks--two weeks of her gestation that would go unmonitored. He had faith that she could take care of herself, but that was when she was not exhibiting signs of struggle, by being oblivious to the trouble or intentionally hiding it from her husband. 

She tried to remind herself, with her eyes closed and breath cycles calm and continuous, to not judge herself when processing her actions, but the guilt was definitely a heavy weight. But she couldn't help but feel she's the one to blame for all the trouble she was experiencing. 

Her worries about her daughter being left behind by her parents truly did come to pass the more she tried to control her fear. But, realizing how this was reality, and that Ivy did have a safe haven with her wonderful grandparents, she had to come to accept the fate that yes, sometimes parents had to do things without their children. In order to have a bountiful life, she couldn't limit herself, or Ben, to much of life's plentiful opportunities in fear of their little girl not being with her parents. She needed to experience life with or without them. 

Ben didn't turn out too shabby with Han and Leia's influence. They let him experience what he wanted, and Leia was definitely more than willing to allow him to learn on his own. And Rey, hell, she had to learn the ways of the world all by herself. But, the more she was able to experience these opportunities, like the true joy of loving someone, friends, and having people avidly involved in her life, they taught her what she otherwise would have never understood. 

Maybe leaving Ivy with Leia, much like the two of them did when she was an infant, was a good thing--especially for the sake of the bond between the little girl's parents. 

Releasing a heavy breath, she felt the relief of several weights being lifted off her chest as she processed these troubles of hers. But the physical complications she was feeling were far beyond her control, and she prayed to a higher force that Ben would bring some sort of relief. 

And Tallie and Erik--two lovers who were young with no strings attached to much--were asking for much of the girl with a career that required her to work every day, a motherly responsibility to provide for her children, and a husband to keep in the light and involved in her life. She understood the insanity with the plan they had just concocted, but it was all in good fun.

A version of fun if Rey was five years younger and hadn't have gestated three children. 

This was something that her mind continued to spin over until she couldn't regulate her breathing. Deciding to wait until Ben arrived, Rey closed off the thought and relaxed from her meditative state. She rose once again, this time feeling much calmer now, and cleaned up the space. Padding her way into the bathroom, she washed her face gently, the cool washcloth relieving the heat on her blotchy cheeks and stinging in her eyes. She finished her nightly routine quickly, turning out the lights and making herself comfortable alone in the large expanse of the bed. One of her arms draped over her stomach, a loving hand cradling the bump protectively as she tried to drift off to sleep. 

The only thing she would allow herself to focus on were those two littles growing happily—she hoped—from inside her. Her fingers began to drum lightly against the taught skin, pestering the babies who were probably sound asleep. She giggled to herself when there was a nudge from the underneath side of her bump. With a happy sigh, she snuggled deeper into the comfortable mattress and allowed herself to sleep as she waited for her husband to come. 

—

Rey got herself out of the suite some time after she woke up. She had done what Ben had told her in regards to emailing her coworkers. However, still allowing herself to be stubborn soul she was, she put on a pair of her maternity leggings and a dark gray fitted half-zip pullover and her favorite pair of running shoes. Taking a bottle of water from the fridge inside the kitchenette, Rey pulled her hair up into a bun and made her way out of the room for a light walk around the city. 

She knew that Ben’s flight was nearly half a day’s journey, and she had received a message from him informing her of when he was to depart. He had called Leia on his way home from work, and she happily agreed to take care of their little girl until they returned. Since she had already picked up Ivy from preschool—seeing as how her school day was always shorter than Ben’s or Rey’s usual work schedule—Ben went home to pack for the two of them. He sent all his doings and accomplished tasks to Rey while she slept, and sent her his flight information. It indicated that he would be leaving at around six in the evening from their city’s airport, so possibly, by the time she got back from her walk that he would have landed and she could find him at King’s Cross. As she exited the wonderful hotel, she left his name with the receptionist and the number to her suite for him to be granted a key. 

Oh, how she missed the mornings she could go on runs. Before she found out she was pregnant, she, Ben, and Finn all made a pact to start training for marathons together. Rey loved the thrill running gave her; it felt like she was literally leaving everything behind, her troubles, her mistakes, her responsibilities, and even more so, her past. And when she ran alongside Ben, oh, did it make her feel twice as powerful. They were like a tag team, like Olympic sprinters, and it filled her with a sense of pride. The husband and wife duo that they were was a force not to be reckoned with, and they proved it over and over to poor Finn. 

Eventually, they began to train off-terrain, which Rey also thoroughly enjoyed, because it pushed her to her absolute limit. She and Finn described it like military training, to which Ben would give a light chuckle, looking at the two with a knowing grin, but it immediately passed over the two. Ben would just run his hand back through his hair, and teased the two who began to trail behind.

Rey grinned fondly to herself as she recollected on the fond memories, still slightly downcast to have to put that on hold for the time being. Even though she was a high-risk pregnancy, her doctor had given her permission to continue some cardio workouts, however, they were to be severely cut down in intensity and lessened the farther she progressed. Walking was never out of the question though, not until they had to tie her down for bed rest. 

The sunny spring environment around her completely masked the rather industrialized city that she knew. The flowers in their boxes against the windows were nearly in full bloom, displaying all kinds of lovely colors. Rey’s favorites were the English daisies with the yellow center and white pedals. Ben knew of this and made an effort to include at least one in the bouquets he would send to Rey’s work. The stores were so inviting and the bakeries too tempting to resist, but she knew Ben would be along any time now, and she had some things in mind that she wanted to show him.

Her path continued to the path along the Thames, which was always a grandeur adventure she would take when the lot of the flat she lived in became too much. It was always so peaceful on the sunny days. The view of the London Bridge took her breath away, even though she saw the monumental piece of architecture every day for nearly eighteen years. On the gray days, the breeze from the river would whistle in her ears violently, so she tried her hardest to always come on the better of days. Today, the sun was shining, and the breeze was up, but not too harsh. Realizing that she was beginning to feel that same sharp pain in her side, Rey turned her direction back towards the Kensington, thinking of the safety of Ben’s flight as she trekked away from the friendly river. 

— 

Rey scanned the key to her suite and opened the large door with a push. It nearly took the breath from her today. She huffed out a breath as the door opened, bouncing back a tad against her shoulder. Shrugging her bumped shoulder, she stepped into the suite, and did not expect to see the sight sitting in front of her. 

There, in the light of the afternoon sun, sat Ben on one of the small couches in front of the television. He was currently watching some sort of news segment, but Rey knew better than to assume he was actually watching it. His arms were crossed over his broad chest, muscles peeking from the sleeve hem of his loose, black shirt. The door closed behind her, releasing quietly and latching with a click, indicating to him the she was here. Slowly, Ben reached over to the remote sitting on the couch next to him and turned the device off. Without looking at her, he released a sigh, gaze fixed to the black screen in front of him. 

“You are one of the most stubborn people I know, Rey,” he said cooly, the words pouring from his lips so smoothly that Rey had to know he trained himself to remain calm for when she returned. Her heart swelled at the sight of him, though he looked exhausted from his flight. She remembered what he had told to her about crawling through her screen and fighting her—and he might just actually do it. 

Rey merely grinned satirically, crossing her arms over her chest, just above her bump, and shifted her weight to one side. “What makes you say that?”

She saw Ben’s mouth twitch up into a smirk, his gaze softening into something playful. “Because I ask one thing of you before I go off the grid for nearly twelve hours, and here you are, disobeying my requests.”

“Hey,” she called out to him, defending herself with an incredulous look. “I called in sick this morning and stayed in till nearly ten.”

“Yes,” Ben nodded. “And I’m glad you did. However, I also told you to rest, which you clearly were not doing,” he continued with his arms still crossed over his chest, but his gaze had turned to her. Oh, how she missed those dark eyes of his, looking up to her with that puppy dog gaze she loved so much. It nearly made her lose her composure, butterflies filling her stomach as she looked upon him. “Do you recall me asking you to stay up here and rest until I arrived?”

She hummed in response, shifting slightly on her feet guiltily, but not truly feeling the remorse. The outdoors were calling her name. The sky was awake, so she was awake, like Ivy’s favorite movie would say at least once a day. 

“So, why are you not in that bedroom waiting for me?” His expression was nothing but promiscuous, with his handsome features smirking at her, eyebrow raised causally. With that, Rey decided she couldn’t stand to be so far away from him. She made her way over to him with a similar look of her own. When she approached, she tilted his chin up to her with her thumb and index finger. 

“Maybe I wanted you to be the one waiting for me,” Rey purred with a devious look in her eye. It sent shivers down Ben’s back, and made him feel honored to be vexed by such a woman. His expression changed to one of complete pleasure and was nearly lustful as he gazed upon her, chuckling to himself quietly. 

“Such a frisky thing, aren’t you?” Rey giggled, bending at the waist so she could place a loving kiss onto the man’s soft lips. Ben’s ha d instinctively came up to cusp the side of her face, a gentle thumb rubbing against her cheekbone. When they pulled back, he looked at her with all the fondness in the world. “Hi, Sweetheart.”

‘Hi,” she murmured to him, watching him watch her mouth as she spoke the word to him in the little space. After a second of basking in the presence of each other, Ben took one of her hands and guided her to sit on his lap. Her arm found it’s way to wrap around the back of his neck as she sat sideways, her side leaning against his toned torso. He pressed a gentle kiss to the underneath side of her jaw as she clasped her hands together, the other arm finding its way to cross his chest. His hand found its usual position on her thigh while the other one found its way to her hip. Releasing a sigh, Ben leaned his head back against the couch and looked up at his stunning wife. 

“I’m so glad to be off that plane,” Ben said lowly, blinking at Rey lazily with a content grin on his face. Rey giggled once more, moving a hand to brush back some of his dark hair from his face. 

“Thank you for enduring it, though,” she said gratefully, a small smile pulling at her lips. “I’m glad you’re here. With me.”

Ben’s eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, his expression turning serious as she spoke to him. “You know that I would travel the ends of the world to find you, right?”

“Of course. It’s because of the stalker instinct. I remember,” she teased with a poker face.

Ben rolled his eyes playfully. “Yes, precisely. But, Angel, if I remember correctly, and I hate to say it, but wasn’t this a ‘save the damsel in distress’ kind of rescue?”

Rey looked at him flatly. Ben merely shrugged his shoulders, looking at her like a teenage boy trying to defend his snarky comment. 

“You went there first,” he tested, like the thirty-two year old child he was. Rey blinked. Ben smirked, leaning his head up to steal a kiss from his wife.

“I know you don’t need saving, Sweetheart, but you are my damsel and were in distress.”

“Maybe I just wanted your company.”

“Because you love your husband?”

“Because I was lonely,” she jested. “And your children don’t have much of a way of entertaining like you do when I need something.”

“Oh,” Ben hummed curiously, the smug look blossoming even further in his features. “So you only keep me around because you’re lonely?”

“Possibly. What’s got you interested?”

“No reason,” he grinned, his hand squeezing the spot on her thigh gently. “Just curious as to why you keep me around.”

Rey leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his carefully, leaning into his comfort even more. “You know that’s not why I’m taken with you.”

“It’s because I can give you some pretty cute babies, isn’t it?”

His question sparked a laugh to escape from her chest, a genuine laugh that she desperately needed after last night. Ben felt her voice vibrate against his chest, making his heart warm at the thought how close they were.

“You have given me such a sweet baby. But honestly, my Dear,” she crooned, closing her eyes and nuzzled her head against his. “I created that baby. You just applied the color scheme.”

It was now Ben’s turn to laugh, a warm and inviting sound in Rey’s ears. It caused her to smile even brighter as joy bloomed in her stomach at the sight of his authentic happiness. 

“Not only that, but some of the parts to the Mister Potato Head. Like the ears.”

“Oh, bless her and her ears,” Rey sighed happily, finding a resting place for her head in Ben’s neck. “Speaking of her, how was she when you left?”

Ben whined just a tad at the memory, not truly wanting to retell it. “She wasn’t happy. When I told her that I was leaving too, she insisted I take her, too. Foot stop, arms crossed, face scrunched. The epitome of you when you don’t get your way.”

Rey grunted, shifting herself ever so slightly that caused Ben to jump, head flying up and legs spreading just a tad wider. “Easy, Little Lady,” he said, shocking Rey in the quick transition into a old western accent. “The cowboy’s not properly saddled yet.”

Rey gasped, cheeks flushing a scarlet as her head popped up from it’s nestled spot. The corners of her mouth were quirked up in a grin, aghast at how fast the innuendo poured from his mouth. Ben took a second to readjust, still calming down from the intense scare he got from his wife’s vengeful movements. 

“Anyway,” he continued after taking a moment. Rey was still flushing furiously, which gave him a playful twinkle in his eye, but only for a brief moment. “There were tears, lots of them, and it took all three of us to get her to let me go when it was time to for me to catch my flight.”

Ben continued to describe the scene, Rey’s concerned eyes watching him closely. When it was time for Ben to leave Leia and Han’s, the girl clung to him. With many attempts, soothing her with kisses and her favorite pet names, he tried to pull her off of him, but she clung too tightly. Eventually, Leia joined them in the living area, immediately to the rescue. Ben kept his eye on his mother as Ivy was literally life-locked around his neck, little fists balled in the material of his shirt. Poor thing did not want him to go, and the tears and stubbornness definitely proved it. Leia tried to pull her carefully out of Ben’s arms, but then one of her tiny hands latched into his hair. 

Leia, who was never afraid of anything, worried at this moment when Ben started to become a little more frustrated as Ivy defied him. She called for Han, who wasn’t too far away, and was looking for the source of commotion in his house. His eyes landed on his son and the defiant little girl, who had her face scrunched up angrily, tears streaming down her cheeks. Ben was slowly becoming frustrated, and Han knew that’s when there needed to be an intervention. 

Han closed the distance and went around to the backside of Ben, trying to peel away the girl’s furious hands. He and his son were scratched in the process, Han cursing under his breath, but they were successful in prying her off of Ben’s body. With Leia on the other side to hold her squirming form, Han kept her hands in his, holding the little balled fists so she wouldn’t hurt anyone else, or herself accidentally. 

Oh, Ivy’s cries were desperate and it broke their hearts, especially her father’s who just wanted his little family to be okay. Han realized how difficult the impatient girl was becoming in his wife’s hold, so he let go of her hands and swooped her up from Leia, filling transitioning into grandpa mode, the protective father side Ben had seen growing up as a child. 

“Baby,” Ben cooed gently, severely overwhelmed by how out of the usual Ivy was behaving. Han had somehow gotten her to stop squirming and hands restricted by the way he was holding her, something Ben could never fathom even if he wasn’t so bewildered. His hands came up to wipe the girl’s blotchy cheeks, tears still streaming from her eyes. “I know you don’t want me to go, but I have to go be with Mama.” 

“But-But I want you here. I need you,” she cried pitifully, barely able to utter her own words. Ben could have cried at how sad his baby was. He had never truly had to deal with tantrums like these before, nor the severity of how she defiantly disobeyed him. The girl was mindful with listening to what her parents told her, but in the heat of the moment, all her ability to follow directions and listen flew out the window. She did what she wanted to instead because she was angry at him. 

“I know, Ivy,” his face crumpled even farther, but he kept a steady, strong gaze into the girls red and watery eyes. “Mama also needs me. She’s sick and needs my help. We can’t have her sick while the babies are in her tummy. Mama wants to be well when she sees you again. Can you understand that, Sweetheart?”

Ivy took in a choppy breath, struggling to get some air by how worked up she became. “I need you! I-I can help Mama—.”

“Baby girl,” Ben cautioned, pressing his forehead against hers soothingly, hands still on either side of her head. “I need you to breathe with Daddy, okay?” She nodded at his request and the two of them worked through calming techniques, which thankfully, got the girl to settle in her grandfather’s arms. Once he realized she was breathing close to normally again, he lifted his head and looked her seriously in her sad, tired eyes. 

“You‘re going to be okay. Lolli and Pop will take great care of you, like always. You won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“Yes I will,” she pouted defensively, looking ridiculously like Rey in that moment. It made Ben chuckle at how much this girl was her Mama, and yet so much of her own person as well. He brushed her wild curls back gently, trying to soothe her even further. 

“Even if you do, I’m never too far away. Plus, I’ll be with Mama so you can see the both of us when you call.”

“Will you,” she sniffled, giving him a great pair of puppy eyes. “Will you talk to me every day?”

“Of course,” Ben grinned, thumb caressing her sweet and squishy cheek. “I could never go a day without talking to you.”

Ivy nodded sadly, gaze turning down as she was defeated in her attempts to make him stay. Ben saw this and immediately tilted his head down further to press a kiss to both of her cheeks. 

“Hey,” he crooned with his signature grin, looking at her with all the adoration in the world. “I love you.”

Shyly, she leaned her head forward to his, an act she had done with him for years like he did with her. “Love you, Daddy.”

Ben nuzzled his head against hers before standing back up straight and looking to his father. Han gave him a warm grin, silently letting him know that Pop’s got it under control. “Be safe, kid. And tell that wife of yours to cool her jets before she gets herself into some trouble.”

“I’ll try, Dad,” Ben said with a pat to the older man’s shoulder. “However, if Ivy’s anything like her, it’s a whole separate war to win.”

Han shook his head in disbelief, chuckling inwardly. Ben then turned himself towards Leia, who was watching them with a concerned but loving gaze. Her hands were together, anxiously fiddling with her fingers as she watched the showdown ensure. She hated when her Ben became upset as a child, and even now, knowing his troubles with his mood, she was afraid for his safety as well as Ivy’s, who was putting up just as much of a fight, if not more. And she absolutely despised when that grandbaby became upset too. 

Leia hated the conflict and wanted to do everything she could to make it stop. 

Ben wrapped his arms around the small woman, holding her close to him as he tried to calm down her own anxieties. “It’s okay, Mom. We’ll be safe.”

“Come back with those two babies unharmed, and Rey better, and yourself in one whole piece,” she instructed him with her firm mother voice, something she had inherited the more her son grew. Ben nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of her head lovingly. 

“Yes ma’am,” he responded politely. Leia pushed him away slightly and pulled his face down to his so she could press a kiss to his cheek. This sent a slight flush rising in his cheeks, as he was nearing thirty-three years old and his mother was sending him off like she did when he was Ivy’s age. 

“Stay safe over there, and please, for the love of anything that’s holy, let us know that you’re both alright,” Leia concluded, patting his cheek, signaling him to straighten up again. He nodded, sticking his hand in his pocket to grab his keys. 

“I will. We’ll figure something out,” he assured her. With one final pat to the middle of his back, Leia urged him forward. Ben leaned down to press one last kiss to Ivy’s cheek. 

“We’ll be back for you soon, Little Vine,” he soothed, giving her a little wink before another kiss to the top of her nose. 

“Bye, Daddy,” Ivy replied sadly as Han turned her around so they could wave Ben off as he exited the front door. 

Ben hated recalling that memory. It was fresh on his mind the entire drive to the airport and until he had to board. In the process of telling Rey, she brushed back the ends of his hair to check on the scratches he received. Low and behold, two groups of scratch marks were on the back of his neck, still healing from their impact. 

Rey’s heart hurt. Her daughter was in a very emotional state recently and she didn’t know whether it was because of her growing and transitioning to her changing world, or if it was Rey’s rabid hormones and changing emotions. Regardless, part of her felt like a failure for not knowing what to do to help her poor girl. 

She released a breath, a hand coming up to hide her face from Ben as the shame of her thoughts surfaced. “I feel absolutely wretched for causing all of this. I’m sorry you had to parent that alone, Ben.”

Her husband took her hand in his, pulling it away from her face with a furrowed brow. “Don’t be sorry, Rey. I’m her father, and as a parent, things are going to be difficult. She’s not going to behave how we want her to, sometimes. And especially now, she’s not very pleased with either of us, so it wasn’t wrong for her to be upset.”

“I know,” Rey said sadly, her hand grasping onto Ben’s. “I just hate that you both were so worked up. You seemed to have handled it very well, however.”

Ben pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. “Thank you, Sweetheart. It’s life, and Ivy’s her own little person. She’s going to respond however she knows best to in the moment.”

“Do you think she’s experiencing some emotional trouble, Ben?” Rey turned her gaze to him, worry written across her features as her brows creases with concern. “She hasn’t been acting like she had for the last several months.”

Ben sighed heavily. “I don’t know, Rey. It wouldn’t surprise me, since you and I have both experienced mood disorders. My best guess is that she’s not handling this phase of our family’s life very well. Maybe she fears that the twins will make us forget about her, or something.”

Rey’s expression grew even more anxious. “I’ll never forget my baby! Why would she think that? Do I not tell her I love her enough?”

“Rey,” Ben calmed her by leaning his head against hers, hand tightening slightly around her thigh. “I don’t know if that’s what she thinks. I was only guessing. When we get back, we’ll talk with her. And if it keeps progressing, we’ll take her to a child’s psychologist.”

Rey nodded her head slightly against Ben’s she closed her eyes once he did, but her brow was still lowered. “I love her so much, and I feel like a horrible mum for letting her struggle. She’s only four!”

“Sweetheart, if this is a psychological thing, then the only way we can respond is asking her about her feelings, and deciding whether we should take her to speak with someone who knows how to help. You’re doing your best, and it’s wonderful. You love on her every day, no matter if you’re at your best or your worst. You take care of our family relentlessly, and for that we are grateful. She knows you love her. So strip those negative thoughts away.”

In a low murmur, Rey agreed to his request, some of her fears slowly starting to ease. They sat for a moment before Ben pulled his head back to look at her. 

“And how are you doing,” he asked delicately. 

“I took some time to meditate and process my troubles,” she began, hand moving to the swell of her stomach subconsciously. “And worked most of them out. I don’t know why I am so defensive about doing things on my own.”

“Well, from what you’ve told me about your past, it’s how you used to do a lot of things,” Ben suggested with a shrug. “You used to be a lot more anal about it before we even began a relationship.”

“Yeah,” Rey’s ears burned at the memory of how she refused to open herself up to him years ago. “I guess so. But you’d believe that after nearly a decade of change, I would be more willing to accept help.”

Ben chuckled lightheartedly. “Angel, you have never been one to accept my help on a lot of things. I just think it’s a part of who you are,” he spoke to her, looking at her as if she were the most beautiful piece of art he had ever seen. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. It just makes me love your headstrong heart more and more.” 

Rey moved her arms from where they were draped over his shoulders to close gently around his neck, hands going in to hold the back of his head as she kissed him. The longing in her movements against his soft, undeniably perfect lips expressed everything she couldn’t for her husband. She thanked him for being so wise and strong for her and their daughter. She poured her gratitude for him dropping everything in his life for her—not just for now, but for ten years of it. Words could no longer be used to describe who he was to her, no longer able to provide the significant impact he had on her life. Rey leaned her upper body over him, the press and motions of their lips together could not be described as a primitive lust, but one lusting for his life, completely and utterly bound to hers forever. 

After a moment, she pulled away from him, looking down at his swollen, red lips that she would spend all day snogging if she could. He looked between her lips and her eyes, smirking slightly when he would catch her gaze. 

“Let me go change and call up something for us so we don’t have to leave today,” Rey offered, running her fingers down from his hairline to the back of his neck, pulling back the fronts of his longer hair from his face. 

“I might just fall asleep if we go lay together,” he warned. “I don’t sleep well without you.”

“After nearly eight years, I would be concerned if you did,” she giggled, rising from her spot in his lap. She held out a hand for him to join her, which he took gratefully and followed her back into the suite, shutting the door behind them with a quiet click.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi (again) all!
> 
> This is just a little filler chapter, but one of extreme fluff. The last chapter was a heavier one, so I thought I could give y’all a breather before we explore the next part of their journey abroad. 
> 
> Also, I have been watching The Clone Wars Show on Disney+ and HOLY SMOKES BATMAN am I in love with Anakin and Ahsoka as Master and Padawan. And Obi-Wan. We can never forget how important he is to Anakin.
> 
> I’ve been thinking of possible story arcs for these characters, because I have whole expositions and whatnot for those three, Padmé, Han, Luke, Leia, and even our beloved Ben and Rey.
> 
> I just want to know what makes y’all happy! Because all the love, reads, and kudos you have given this story makes my heart sing!!
> 
> Toi toi toi to you all! (It’s an opera version of ‘good luck’). Stay safe and healthy!
> 
> W a s h y o u r h a n d s !!!
> 
> All my love! X


	27. Moon Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ Will this be moon love, nothing but moon love,  
> Will you be gone when the dawn comes stealing through?  
> Are these just moon dreams, grand while the moon beams?  
> But when the moon fades away, will my dreams come true?  
> Much as I love you, don't let me love you.  
> If I must pay for your kiss with lonely tears, say it's not moon love.  
> Tell me it's true, say you'll be mine when the moon disappears.”  
> —Moon Love, Frank Sinatra  
> —  
> Ben and Rey make the most of their time in London, which involves getting down to root of her anxieties, and if the wild goose hunt was still a go.

The next morning went about as usual, Rey rising early with the spring sun, taking her time to have tea and preparing for her long meetings ahead. However, this time was difference because not only did she not go to bed alone, but she woke to her sleeping husband. Her eyes fluttered open to see the resting man beside her, sleeping on his stomach with his arms beneath his pillow. He looked so peaceful like this, like all his worries were washed by the bliss of sleep. 

She dared not disturb him, but she would have loved to trace over his masculine features with a single finger. He puffed out small breaths of air as he slept, his facc turned towards her and slightly tucked into the space between their pillows. His dark hair was splayed against the white pillow sham, making him almost look ethereal, god-like with his fair skin, broad shoulders, and prominently toned back. 

It thrilled Rey every day knowing that he was hers, and she could do whatever he wanted to that man. 

For Heaven sake, that realization got her where she was today; she was baring his children—two for that matter. 

Every so often, as she watched him rest from a long journey the day before and jet lag from it, he would make light noises. Many of them sounded like little moans, very similar to what Ivy would do in her sleep. It made her giggle to herself quietly. 

Slowly, she propped herself up on her elbow, brushing a hand through her longer hair. Her body pressed into the comfortable mattress, and the hem of her silk nighty pulled up revealing the taught, smooth skin of her bump. Rey loved mornings like this, when she could lay in the comfort with the one she loved so much, and with their little masterpieces growing inside her. 

Her right hand reached over to brush back some of his soft hair back from his face so she could take a look at how beautiful he was. She counted each of his beauty marks with careful eyes, admiring each of them like the stars in the sky. After a moment, she leaned herself closer to him, placing a loving kiss to his temple. 

Then, Rey rolled up and off of the bed, padding her way into the bathroom to prepare for the morning. She washed her face using her daily care routine, brushed her teeth, then began to style her hair ever so slightly and apply some basic makeup. Thirty minutes later, she walked back out into the bedroom, where Ben was still sound asleep, and picked her springy outfit of the day. She chose a lightweight, thin white shirt with a high-waisted yellow floral skirt. Tucking the shirt into the skirt, she fluffed it out carefully to achieve the full look, then pulled out a yellow ribbon, tying it to the hair that was pulled back away from her face. 

When she slid on her red Oxford shoes, she heard Ben shift again against the white sheets. She turned her gaze back to him, realizing that he was now awake and groggily rubbing his face with his hands. He was still on his stomach, now just propped up on his elbows. Rey giggled softly at his mess of hair that was in tousled dark waves. Making her way over to the side of the bed, she lowered herself in the space next to him carefully. 

“Good morning, my Love,” she murmured to the waking man, watching as he rolled himself onto this back, running a hand through his hair. 

“‘Morning,” he rasped, eyes squinted slightly at the flash of sunlight that was streaming through the large windows. Rey grinned down at him as his hand fell back to the mattress, searching for some part of her to touch. She extended her hand, allowing him to take it as the other arm draped across his forehead. 

“How did you sleep?”

“Well,” replied Ben with a deep voice. “Much better than the night before.”

“I think someone can’t sleep without me,” Rey smirked teasingly, using her other hand to rub the top of Ben’s smooth one. Her husband looked at her indifferently. 

“I can’t help it that I’m a creature of habit.” 

Rey smiled. “Even if you were fine sleeping alone, I’m at least glad you wouldn’t be codependent.”

“I sleep rather mediocrely by myself, mind you. But I’m not ashamed to admit that it’s nice to hold someone and be held in sleep, nor that I may be sleep-dependent on my wife,” he added with a sly grin, covering his eyes with his forearm lazily. 

Rey snickered at him before leaning over carefully, placing a hand on Ben’s toned chest, and maneuvering her head so she was hovering directly above his face. 

“I’ll be up here to rescue you around twelve-ish, Sleeping Beauty,” she purred quietly, feeling his lower body squirm in a slightly pleasurable way. 

“What time is it now,” Ben asked in return, removing his arm from his eyes and blinking up at his beautiful wife. Oh, how he loved the softness of the morning. 

“Nearly half eight,” she answered, looking over to the digital clock sitting on the end table. “I have meetings up until lunch, then we can decide how we want to spend our day.”

“Sounds doable.” 

And with that, Rey leaned in closer, pressing a tender, loving kiss onto Ben’s delectably soft lips. Then, she sat back up, rising from her seated position as Ben brushed their hands together one last time before she began to make her way out of the room. 

“You look lovely today, Sweetheart,” Ben called after her, head tilted to the side so he could watch her waddle away. 

Rey grabbed her bag from the table, turning her gaze to him through the open door. She gave him a happy smile before she grabbed her laptop. “Thank you. I have to make sure my outfits don’t scream ‘pregnant, heavy, and tired’ anymore.” 

The last thing she heard before leaving was Ben’s deep laugh rumble in response. As she closed the door to her suite, she took a deep breath, clutching her laptop against one hip and placed the other hand on the small of her back, pressing lightly as she made her way to the elevator down the hall. 

—

As she opened the door to the suite around 13.00, she was greeted by the sight of Ben, who was sitting at the glass breakfast table, staring intently at his laptop. He had gotten dressed for the day, in a sage green pocket tee and fitted jeans. When she entered, she greeted him happily. 

“Hi,” Rey said with a happy tone in her voice despite the long meetings she had to endure. Ben’s eyes glanced up to her once she spoke to him, a sparkle in them that Rey loved so much when he was content. 

“Hey,” he replied simply, watching her waddle her way over to him. 

“What are you working on,” she asked happily, standing next to him with a hand on her lower back, the other coming up to brush back his wavy dark hair. Ben released a sigh and leaned into her touch, dropping his hands to his lap. 

“I’m going over my final revisions of my dissertation. It’s due in a couple of weeks, but I want to make sure it’s completely finished now.”

“You have some time to worry about it,” consoled Rey, who was looking down at him fondly. 

“I know, but trying to get home and to settle us and Ivy back in to a normal routine again will be pretty difficult.”

“How is my Love Bug?” Rey missed her daughter significantly. There were times during the meetings where she often found her thoughts running to memories of her baby, and continuously wondering to what she was doing now. She hated not waking up to the sound of the small girl’s voice asking if she was awake yet, or when Rey would go wake her up in the mornings and snuggle before they had to start getting ready for the day. The sound of Ivy playing the piano in their living room would play in her own ear, which caused her to smile to herself and dream of what the little girl would accomplish one day. 

Ben nodded his head optimistically. “She’s doing well. Mom texted while we were asleep a picture of her heading to school.” He picked his phone up from where it was on the table and presented it to her as it displayed the adorable picture. Leia had put her in a dark pair of overalls with a stripped long sleeve shirt underneath, and a cute maroon bow in her hair. 

His wife merely pouted, taking his phone in her nimble fingers to look at the photo closer. She loved that little girl and her quirky personality. Ivy always had a way to fill her with such a hope. The little rainbow baby was always the good after every storm she faced, and Rey couldn’t wait to see colorful symbol of hope back in her sky. 

“My baby,” she cooed, eyes glimmering as she looked at her beautiful child. “She looks so happy.”

“Much different than the day before,” commented Ben, leaning up slightly so he could also see the screen from where she was holding his phone. “But I’m not surprised, my parents always find a way to make sure she stays happy.”

“It’s not like we try to do the same,” Rey suggested, returning his phone back to him and brushing a gentle hand through his hair. 

“Damn if our daughter doesn’t already know how to manipulate the hearts of millions.” Ben’s eyes landed back on his screen blankly as his mind filled with visions of how she would break hearts in the future. 

“I blame you,” Rey said flatly. 

“I do too,” Ben responded with a sigh. “She’s going to do so much damage.”

“Anakin Skywalker’s great-granddaughter?” Rey raised eyebrow down at him with a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “Surely not.”

“And these two,” he turned his gaze to her bump with squinted eyes, but full of all the fondness in the world. “Heaven only knows what kind of forces they are to be reckoned with.”

Rey giggled. “They’re barely even developed human beings yet, Ben.”

“Doesn’t matter.” And with that, Ben leaned himself over to nudge his nose against her belly, then pressed a kiss there gently. “How are you three today, Sweetheart?”

Grinning, Rey moved a hand to rest at the top of her rounded belly. “We were okay, Daddy,” she murmured, hand caressing the side of the swell gently. “We’re about eighteen weeks along now.”

“Wow,” Ben said on an exhale, looking up at her. “I knew you were getting close. How do you feel?”

Rey sighed a heavy breath, still rubbing the side of her belly. “Heavy. I know it doesn’t look like it, but I feel a little more fatigued right now. Plus, I took a look at some photos from when I was pregnant with Ivy, and I’m nearly the side I was with her when I was twenty-five weeks along.”

“That‘s what, a seven week difference?” 

Rey hummed after a moment of contemplation. “I feel so swollen already.”

“Well,” Ben said as he shut his laptop carefully. “You’re just as beautiful as then, if not more.” He pushed back his chair, mindful of where Rey was next to him, and rose from the seat. “How about we go for a walk today? Just to get out of this room and out in the wonderful sunlight, huh?” 

She tilted her head up to him, clasping her hands together under her bump, leaning forward on her toes. “I’d like that a lot.”

Ben chuckled, tilting his head down to press a kiss onto her lips. “Give me five minutes and I’ll be ready.”

“Okay,” she hummed sweetly, eyes staring at him in utter adoration, relishing in these quiet moments that were just the two of them. 

—

The couple made their way down the strip of the city, passing many national landmarks and beautiful pieces of architecture, and incredible statues that Rey goaded Ben to stand next to for a picture. He did, giving her a slight grin, clearly uncomfortable, and a thumbs up each time. She would laugh at him and his ridiculousness, which brought about a genuine smile from him. There were just a few of those that Rey caught, and she treasured them. 

Eventually, they found their way to Regent’s Park, a definite recommendation from Rey herself. She described the flowers and beautiful greenery to Ben, and explained to him that it was the reason she loved the spring and summer so much (and maybe a little because of her baby girl’s summer birthday). Before they began to adventure through the park, they stopped at the Garden Cafe fork lunch and Ben’s first traditional Afternoon Tea. 

Rey marveled at how well he took to the historical tradition, and how humorous he found the extravagance and significance of the daily event. She taught him the best way to serve the tea in the proper cups and saucers, and aided him in finding his preferences for the tea. The little cakes, pastries, crustless sandwiches, and jam and clotted cream covered scones were all neatly displayed on a three tier cake display, to which Ben had seen nothing like before. 

“This is an every day event?” His eyebrows were raised in surprise as he began looking at all the little finger foods on the display. Rey nodded her head, taking the teacup into her hands, and sipped the tea she had prepared. 

“For most, yes. This is more posh, though. Usually, Tallie and I would just make the food at her parent’s flat and have tea. No fancy displays or whatnot.”

“So, all of this is merely for looks,” suggested Ben with a quirky smile, selecting his scone of choice. Rey giggled and nodded. 

“You could say that,” she smiled. 

Ben placed the scone down on his saucer and pulled his phone out from his back pocket. “I need to take a photo so we can properly teach Ivy how to have a tea party.” 

“I want to send a video to her,” Rey pouted, still holding her cup. “I haven’t been able to catch a time where she’s awake long enough and I’m not so knackered.”

Her husband, taking pictures as he listened, consoled her. “Don’t worry. We’ll get a video for you outside in the garden. For now, I’m going to get one of how adorable you are.” 

Rey tried her best to hide her face as Ben turned his phone towards her, laughing happily as the wave of sunlight warmed her features. Ben chuckled too, speaking to the camera. 

“And there’s Mama,” Ben crooned lovingly, adoring his wife through the screen and her radiant appearance. She had turned her head up to him, looking at him with a shy expression, swinging her foot from her cross-legged position in the wooden chair. With one hand, Rey held her teacup with a grace that Ben knew only the people around them could do, and the other rested on the curve of her stomach. 

“It’s amazing how those children have already traveled abroad before they’ve even been born,” he added once the camera was turned off (and a few beautiful photos of Rey were taken). He picked up his scone and hesitated before dunking it into his tea, checking from Rey with a glance in her direction. Rey nodded with a grin to encourage him forward. 

“I’d love to bring Ivy here sometime. She’d love to see the zoo in the park and to picnic in the gardens.”

“I think she’d love the Eye just as much,” Ben said after taking a bite. “We could claim it as an educational trip if needed for the school.”

Rey chuckled. “She’s not old enough to need that kind of excuse.”

“She might be if we return. Her registration day is in August.”

Rey’s eyes widened in shock, not realizing how quickly they were approaching the day her baby would start school. Also in August, they’ll have the twins—another whirlwind of emotions. That first day would be so hard on them both. 

“She starts school in nearly five months,” the woman almost whispered, setting her teacup down on the saucer in front of her. Ben nodded, crossing his muscular arms over his chest and leaning back against the wooden chair. 

“I know,” he agreed. “But her teachers are saying that she’s well-prepared if not more than ready to start Kindergarten.”

With a quiet sigh, Rey’s chest deflated the more the thought about her daughter growing up, but began to rebuild some reassurance through Ben’s words. “Ivy is a smart girl.”

“The smartest,” Ben confirmed. 

“And it’s wonderful that she’s beyond qualified to start school. It means we and your parents have raised her well.”

“We raised her the best we could.”

“I guess this means she’s ready to take flight into the real world now.”

“Rey,” Ben cautioned. “We have to stop talking like she’s nearly eighteen and ready to go off to college. She’s four.”

Rey tried her best to hold back tears, eyes glossy as she looked up to her husband, nodding. “She’s four,” she repeated. 

“She’s four, going to be five, and she’s going to be around other five year olds for a long time.” He tried his best to comfort her aching for her little girl, inherently aware that she longed to spend every waking minute she had left with her oldest baby. But for now, this was the best he could do. “Have a cake.”

Rey instantly agreed, not having to be told twice to comfort herself with an English delicacy. She took a little one from her side of the tier carefully, placing it on the saucer to begin splitting with her fork. The two of them enjoyed their Afternoon Tea with causal conversation, and multiple moments of comfortable silence that they had long since achieved. 

—

It was nearing 16.00 when Ben was able to contact Leia to set up a Skype call. It had taken his mother a couple of tries to figure out how to work the technology before he left for London, but once she got it, she was roaring and ready to go. Rey was a little ahead of him, walking alongside the vast amounts of flower plots blooming with dozens of roses. She looked at each of the vibrant, beautiful colors in awe as she had never experienced this kind of beauty while she called this place home. 

“Hey, Mom,” Ben greeted once Leia popped up on the screen, lifting his sunglasses off of his face and pushed them into his hair. He squinted as the sun continued to shine, looking up to Rey for a moment. 

“Hi, Ben,” Leia responded with a warm tone. “How are you doing? How’s Rey?”

“We’re doing just fine,” he answered, taking a few steps towards his wife. “We’re currently in Regent’s Park and wanted to say hi to you and Ivy before she went to bed.”

“I figured just as much.” The older woman rose from her seat in the kitchen, holding the phone close to her as she padded through her home and to the bedroom specially made for Ivy. “Baby girl,” Leia called quietly into the room. “Your Mama and Daddy want to speak with you.”

“Mama? Daddy?” Ben heard his daughter call out for them, which made his heart melt and break at the same time. He knew it wouldn’t be long until they all were reunited, but that poor baby hadn’t seen her parents in what felt like such a long time, especially her Mama.

Instinctively, Rey turned to face Ben, eyes wide with longing curiosity as she heard distinguishable voices coming from Ben’s phone. She closed the distance between her and her husband, peeking around his arm to see the screen. 

She almost burst into tears as she heard Ivy calling out for her, saying her name with such a hope. Ivy got as close to the phone as she could, face crumpling with relief as her eyes landed on her baby’s face. 

“Hi, Lovely Dove,” Rey cooed, a smile spreading across her face as Ivy’s curly head and sweet face appeared on the screen. Leia was sitting next to her on the bed, but allowed for Ivy to be solely in the camera’s view. 

“Mama!” Ivy’s face lit up as she instantly recognized Rey. “Mama, where are you?”

“I’m right here, Baby,” Rey consoled, clinging to Ben’s side to ground her from losing touch with everything. “I’m with Daddy in London right now.”

“Hi, Ivy,” Ben said, moving the phone so Ivy could see both of her parents. The little girl’s face lit up even more as she saw both of her parents happy together. 

“Hi, Daddy,” the sweet voice spoke through the phone. “When are you coming back?”

“Soon, Sweetheart,” he responded. “Mama and I will be coming home in a little while.”

“Why can you—cannot come home now,” Ivy asked innocently, stumbling over the complicated sentence as she shifting herself on the mattress. 

“Because, I have to finish up some stuff for work before we can come back,” Rey answered halfway with a slight pout. “I wish I could come home earlier and be with you.”

“I want you here, Mama,” begged the child, looking at the screen with large, sad hazel eyes. “I miss you.”

“Oh, Darling,” Rey managed to say without breaking into full sobs. Her face mirrored Ivy’s sad expression. “I miss you too. When Daddy and I return home, you and I will snuggle all day long.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart,” the girl’s mother replied with a loving smile, despite eyes being glossed over from unshed tears. 

Ivy giggled every ounce of sadness away before she directed her attention to Ben. 

“Daddy, are you coming home too?” 

“Yes, Sweetheart,” Ben confirmed with a smile. “How could I stay away from you?” 

“You can’t,” she exclaimed, staring at the screen intently, in a way Ben had seen Rey do on one of their many shared FaceTime calls. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, kid.” He smiled down to the screen before turning his gaze to Rey, who was watching intently from where she was pressed into Ben’s side. “We wanted to talk to you before you went to bed.”

“Lolli and I read two books,” she said smugly, definitely exhibiting some of Rey’s pride in her share of the girl’s personality. 

“Two?” Rey’s eyes went wide at the little girl on the screen. “Feeling rather adventurous for bedtime, are we?”

“I tried to get her to sleep, but she was just too full of energy. So we read two short ones,” Leia confirmed, adding the full story to Ivy’s claims. 

“They were good,” Ivy nodded, repositioning herself back underneath her covers. “We can—we can read them again.”

“Not tonight, Ladybird,” Leia said decisively. “I can see your pretty little eyes trying really hard to stay open. Leia then laid down next to the four year-old, adding, still showing the girl’s face to her parents. “I think she’s about to really fall asleep now.”

The parents nodded. It was Ben who spoke up first. “Goodnight, Ivy. We love you so, so much.”

“Goodnight, Mama,” Ivy yawned before continuing, “goodnight, Daddy.”

“Sleep well, my Love,” Rey cooed to her, watching as Ivy nodded and laid herself back down against the pillows. Leia gave the two a wink before signing off. 

Ben slid his phone back into his pocket with a content sigh. Rey stepped aback a tad from him so he could regroup before they continued with their walk. She reached out her hand for his, which he took happily and with a fond smile. Together, the pair made their way through the beautiful park and down the paths with the gorgeous flower gardens, something that she had only dreamed of as a young girl. 

—

“So, you’re actually going to go through with this?”

Rey nodded her head as she pulled her hair up into a bun, and her toothbrush hanging from her mouth. She was in her peachy pink maternity robe, one she wore while she was in the hospital with Ivy since it was one of the most comfortable things she owned. It was paired with a floral head wrap as she prepared for bed. One of her hands went to rest on the small part of her back as she finished brushing her teeth. 

“Don’t you think it might be a little bit of a risk to travel so much like this?” Ben was leaning back against the marble countertop of the sink, arms crossed over his bare chest as he watched his wife carefully. 

The woman rinsed off her toothbrush and replaced it back into its travel holder. “It might be, sure. But I’ve already agreed to Tallie and Erik that I would join them—because why not?” She shrugged, crossing her own arms over her chest. 

“Because why not?” Ben squinted his eyes curiously at her. “Was there any other riveting factor that influenced your decision?”

“Maybe because this might just be the answer to all of the questions I’ve had all of my life.” Rey shifted her weight to one side, looking at him with an impatient expression. 

A sigh escaped from Ben’s lips as he shook his head. “Sweetheart, I know these are curiosities you’ve had for a long time, but a wild goose chase while you’re nearly halfway pregnant for some sort of urban legend does not sound like a very smart idea.”

“Mind you,” Rey said, putting both hands on her hips. “I am fully pregnant. Secondly,” she huffed, “it may seem wild, but it’s a goose chase and Heaven knows since the last time I’ve had one.” With that, she padded her way angrily to the side of the large bathtub and plopped down on the side with a breath of air. 

Ben’s eyes watched her carefully, hands balled beneath his biceps for a moment, frustrated by his hard-headed wife. Taking a deep breath through his nose, he released his clenched fists and uncrossed his arms. He looked at her disheartened form that had her ankles crossed, hands leaning against her knees to relieve some pressure from her lower back. After giving her a moment in silence, he slowly approached her, crouching down on the balls of his feet to look at her. 

“Rey,” he said calmly. His elbows were pushing against his knees as his hands were clasped together. She refused to look at him until he tilted his head a little lower so he could see her eyes. 

“Yes,” she answered finally, gaze reluctantly meeting his. 

“What has you so upset? Was it my questioning?”

Her emotions plummeted into her like the force of the wind on a stormy London day. She tried her hardest to refrain them from showing, but she knew too well that it was a lost cause. 

With a sniffle and a hand to hide her face, Rey responded to him. “No,” her brow furrowed and eyes squeezed shut. “I know you’re concerned and I love you all the more for it, but I hate that I’m making you so anxious. Plus,” Rey used her other hand to caress the curve of her stomach. “I feel so limited in what I can do anymore. And I feel like,” another sniffle, “I’m not who I used to be—as active, as able, adventurous; Ben, what if the last adventure we went on was when we went for your birthday?”

Ben listened and kept his brown eyes on her steadily. When she began to worry herself into knots, he simply took her small hands in his and held them tightly. 

“I can barely control how overwhelmed I am, and I feel absolutely revolting all the time now. I’m horribly huge everywhere and can’t even remember what color my toes are painted,” Rey sniffled pitifully. 

Ben giggled—very faintly, but it was there—and looked down at her feet. “They’re pink, Angel.”

Rey choked out a laugh, tears starting to stream down her face. “They’re pink,” she mumbled beneath her breath. “Despite all of this, I just feel sad, Ben. I don’t know why I feel so unhappy. My thoughts keep racing about how my life used to be, how we used to be—life before we were tied down with responsibilities and,” she laughed again, shaking her head, “surprises.” 

Her tears finally slowed as Ben listened to her, caressing the top of her small hand with his thumb.   
With one final sniffle, she concluded her ramblings. 

“I think something’s wrong, and when we get home, I plan to talk to someone about it. Because of all of this—mess—I feel like a horrible mother.” Her eyes looked down to their clasped hands, away from his eyes. “And a horrible, useless, and downright pitiful spouse.”

“Hey,” Ben discouraged her, taking a hand to lift her chin back up. “Let’s get something straight, alright?”

She looked at him with a timid, watery gaze. 

“You are not any of those adjectives you’ve decided to call yourself. I don’t know where they’ve come from, but I don’t like it. I’m glad you have decided to go seek professional help with this because I also agree that something is wrong.”

Rey nodded her head with her brow crumpled, eyes locked on his. 

“Second of all,” Ben began before he kneeled on his knees, leaning himself between her legs, hands pressed against the side of the tub to hover over her body. His head was tilted up to hers, making sure he held her gaze securely and to keep her as close to him as possible. 

“You are an absolutely incredible mother. Whatever’s in your mind telling you otherwise is just clouding your judgement. Ivy, and our two little babies are the luckiest children ever to have you as their mother. Just because we make mistakes does not mean we’re bad parents. Because we have our own problems does not mean whatsoever that we have failed at raising children.”

Ben’s eyes searched hers. “You can’t help what you’re going through right now. And I’m sorry that you’re struggling so. If I could take on any of it for you, I’d take it all and more. But, Sweetheart,” he crooned, leaning up a little taller to brush his lips against her cheek. 

“You have made me the happiest man in the world, because of your love, your light, and your spirit.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek before pulling back to see her fully. 

“You saved me from a dark part of my life. You’ve made waking up every day so worth it. Traveling across the world to reach you—totally worth it. Sharing a life with you, children with you, a home with you—absolutely worth every moment. The good times we have, the really good times we have,” Rey giggled at that statement, causing him to grin smugly. “And even the bad times, Angel. I’m thankful for them all. My life would be absolutely belligerently bereft without you—consider it a nasty, undeniable sober from life’s drunken joy.” 

Rey’s eyes glistened with more than just tears, but with thankfulness for his support and lovingkindness for her. She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck to keep him close to her. His mouth was nearly inches from hers as he continued. 

“You are my wife, and the mother of my children,” he said, moving a hand to hold her back as his body leaned into hers even further. ““You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride.” He pressed a kiss to one corner of her mouth, then continued. 

“You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace. Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices.” He placed another kiss to the other corner of her lips. It wasn’t until then she realized he was quoting one of Solomon’s love letters to his bride, the same ones that Ben told her in the sanctuary of their newlywed escape. 

“You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride, a secluded spring, a hidden fountain. You are a garden fountain, a well of fresh water streaming down from Lebanon’s mountains.”

His eyes twinkled in the light of that hotel bathroom as he serenaded her in the way he know she loved—with the words of some of the world’s greatest writers. It amazes her how he memorized such text, but every day, she fell even more in love with him than before. 

Rey leaned her head forward to crash her lips into his, feeling thoroughly overwhelmed by how much he loved her. Her hands splayed out on either sides of his face, using everything she had to prove how thankful—grateful—she was to be married to him. To be bonded for life with the man who gave her one when she had never experienced one. 

Even in this luxurious hotel bathroom, a decade apart from the feverous parts of their life, they still felt that spark—that bond. It was as if they were young again, and time had merely stood still. 

—

Later that night while all the lights had turned off, Ben found himself wide awake as he contemplated the conversation they had never finished hours ago. 

Once he turned onto his left side, he gazed upon the resting woman next to him, breathing slowly. Her chin was tucked towards her chest (which Ben had noticed—and felt—a change in since she became pregnant again), while she curled up into herself, like she was protecting her bump even in sleep. Rey was facing his direction, which was the position she felt most comfortable in nowadays. An arm was propped underneath her head while her other draped across her body. 

Did he dare to wake her? Ben knew this was a time she rarely slept well, if at all. But he needed to know the answer to his question in the event he had to come up with a survival plan for the next several days. 

“Rey,” Ben whispered, brushing back the hair that had fallen in her face. He had to repeat her name a couple of times before she stirred. Once she recognized that someone needed her, she jumped slightly, lifting her head to see Ben propped up on his elbow. 

“Ben? What’s—what’s wrong?” She blinked up blearily to him, beginning to lift herself up to check her surroundings. 

“Nothing’s particularly wrong,” he said bashfully before reaching out to brush a knuckle against her cheek. “I just need to ask you something.”

Rey grunted as she laid back down, eyes still blinking up lazily at him. “What is it?”

Ben ducked his head to fumble with the white hotel sheets. “We never finished discussing before we went to bed.”

“Discussing what?”

“Whether you’re still going or not.”

Rey was silent for a moment, and Ben thought she had fallen back to sleep. His head jerked back up to look at her, hair fluffy and flopping with his sudden movement. Rey watched him fondly, a grin written across her tired expression. 

“I think I’m going to.”

Now it was Ben’s turn to stay silent. He considered his options in how to respond: merely agree or outright refuse. Due to it being late, and because she was constantly tear-happy, he decided with a middle option. 

“Will you be okay?”

“Yes, and you can make sure because you’re coming with me.”

“I’m what?”

She merely lifted an arm, indicating for him to roll into her embrace as she laid there staring at him and his godlike beauty in the moonlight. He was her moon beam, just as she was his sun dream. She often played Frank Sinatra’s “Moon Love” when she wanted them to dance around in the living room. 

Ben rolled into her embrace slowly, just as she requested, and rested his head near hers so he could hear what she had to say. 

“You’re coming with us. I let Tallie know you’re here, and we’ve got your ticket taken care of.”

“Rey, I never—.”

“When you married me,” she began, slowly starting to fall back to sleep once her husband was in the safe embrace of her arms, “you signed up for everything.”

Ben rucked his head into the crook of her neck, smirking lazily as he made himself comfortable. “The adventures will never end, Sweetheart. Don’t worry yourself about that. They’ve only just begun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> I know y’all probably hate me (trust me, I do too) for editing all these chapters. The more I research and study, the more MISTAKES I find in my writing and story content, like ages. I’m all about exposition and if that’s all messy, then I’m all messy. MEEP.
> 
> Here’s a consolation chapter as my apology for so many edits. 
> 
> Love you!! Stay safe!
> 
> All my love x


	28. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Here I am, pry me open  
> What do you want to know?  
> I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough  
> To hold the door shut  
> And bury my innocence  
> But here's a map, here's a shovel  
> Here's my achilles' heel
> 
> I'm all in, palms out, I'm at your mercy now and I'm ready to begin  
> I am strong, I am strong, I am strong enough to let you in.”  
> —Eight; Sleeping At Last
> 
> —
> 
> Rey and Ben have dinner with Tallie and Erik, but something goes horribly awry, which causes Rey to question Ben’s trust in her.

“I still have yet to comprehend the fact that I’ve been signed up on some kind of escapade to discover the truth to some piece of history that’s just about as valid as the discovery of Atlantis.”

Rey looked over to her husband in the back of the cabbie, who was scrolling his finger across the screen of his phone. Her own hands were clasped in her lap, twisting her wedding ring around her finger. An amused smile spread across her face as she listened to his musings.

“Ben Solo, isn’t it your mantra to never truly comprehend what your get yourself into, but you do it anyway?”

“Sorry, you’re confusing me with my predecessor, Han Solo,” Ben glanced over to her. “It‘a more him who recklessly gets himself into the trouble without even realizing it.”

“What makes you any different,” Rey tested. 

“My mother knocked some common sense into my head every time my father got himself screwed and would say ‘See Ben? That’s the absolute worst way you could do something.’” 

Rey leaned her head back with a laugh. “How often did this occur?”

“The reason why I remember so vividly is because it happened so frequently. Different problem, same response from my level-headed mother.”

“I wonder what it was like to have Han and Leia as parents,” Rey mused, still gazing at her husband fondly. 

“God,” Ben gasped, eyes going wide and rising from his phone screen. “Mom and Dad constantly bickering like an old married couple who still loved each other, Luke who always ran to Leia for no good reason other than the companionship between twins, Dad’s drag racing friends—which was illegal to do. Cousins eventually. Some friends. You didn’t miss much.” He shrugged his shoulders simply, sliding his phone into his black dress pant pocket. 

Rey stared at him incredulously. “Much? Ben, I think we all remember how I lived here years ago. I never experienced any of that.”

“Count it as a blessing,” he returned her look with a serious one. “Life gets real messy with so many people and many different personalities.”

“But I bet it was never dull,” his wife offered innocently. Her hazel eyes were gleaming in the moonlight and city lights that poured through the cabbie windows. 

“Never a dull moment in my house. Which is why I spent so much time with my grandparents.” Ben grinned at the memory, looking down at his hands. “I would retreat there when life became too hectic at home. Plus, Mom and Dad traveled a lot, so I wound up on the piano bench next to Grandmother or learning how to work on things other than cars with Grandy.”

“You called him ‘Grandy?’” Rey’s gazed turned curious at her husband’s words. 

“Yeah. I was the first grandchild, so I had the fortunate opportunity of deciding the name. He wasn’t very fond of the transitional ‘Grandpa’ like most are okay with. Anakin was very much like my mother—peculiar with a mind of his own. Supposedly, he spent a lot of time deciding on his nickname, and bothered Grandmother about it too often.”

Rey giggled. “And ‘Grandmother?’”

Ben smiled. “My grandmother was an absolute force to be reckoned with. She deserved that title and none less.”

“Did she ever oppose to it?”

“Not really. There were a couple of options, mostly ones Luke conjured up, like Pamma, Padma, which was way too close to her name and they feared I would grow up knowing them on a first name basis.”

This caused his wife to chuckle. “If only you had the audacity.”

Ben raised a teasing eyebrow. “Oh, they feared the worst because they knew the tempers and attitudes of my grandfather and parents. My grandmother probably held a sign up to the window that signaled for help a number of times when we were all together.”

“Sounds like a real group you’ve got there.”

“Of course, and you married into it—what’s left of it, anyway.”

Rey gave him a pained grin, reaching out to take one of his hands into hers. “If it makes you feel any better, you married into the hollowed holes of my nonexistent family.”

Ben groaned dramatically. “Rey, that’s absolutely horrible. That makes me feel even worse. Why would you play that card?”

“Because I have coped with the hand I was given,” she winked with a smirk. 

“I never asked us to play the game of series of unfortunate events,” Ben shook his head, looking at her with a mischievous expression. 

“Do you really think you’d win?”

“As Ben Solo, the single man with a troubled last, or Ben Solo, the married man and some misfortunes there?”

“Ben Solo, the married man, is about to have a misfortunate event right now if he thinks he’d win regardless.” Rey cut him a side eye from where she looked back out the window, teasing him fully, and not being subtle about it. 

“Watch where you’re pointing those words, Sweetheart,” he cautioned. “Your safety lock isn’t on and the shots are pretty painful on my end as the target.”

Rey laughed aloud once more as the cab pulled up to the curb of the restaurant they were to meet Tallie and Erik at for the evening. Ben kissed the top of her hand sweetly before exiting the vehicle. Rey paid the driver since she was the only one who knew how to work the public transit system in their London currency. Once she finished, she wished him thanks and exited the car with Ben’s help. 

Together, hand in hand, the two walked towards the restaurant. Ben opened the door for her, as he usually did anywhere they went, signaling for her to enter. Once she did, he followed in suit and looked around. 

The place was absolutely fabulous, as one would be in downtown London near the waterfront. It was bustling, but thankfully, Tallie and Erik made the reservation in advance and were already seated. Ben prompted the hostess on where their party was located, and then led his wife to where they were to dine. 

When the couple approached the table, Ben’s eyes flew wide open. The female’s face that sat at the table they were approaching was now reappearing in his severely repressed memories, where he refused to backtrack for a myriad of reasons. 

Both sets of blue eyes looked upon Rey, who had begun to lead the way, broad smiles written across their faces. Tallie stood to embrace his wife, closing her eyes as she squeezed the woman carefully. When her eyes opened, however, they landed on Ben and immediately reflected the same shock that he was expressing. 

Rey chuckled uncomfortably as she patted the other woman’s back. “Tal, I just saw you a few days ago, how could you miss me this much?” She addressed her question to the bewildered woman who was clinging onto the blue, white, and pink floral material of Rey’s peasant dress. Tallie jolted as she regained her senses, pulling back from her friend with a pressed grin. 

“Sorry, Love,” she consoled, rubbing her hand up and down Rey’s left arm. “I get a little clingy when I hug people I haven’t seen in a while.” Her eyes glanced over to Ben, who was approaching slowly with his hands in his pockets, blue button up sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He wiped his expression clear before Rey or the man across from them could see it. 

“Oh,” Rey gasped as Ben finally made his appearance, and placed a hand on the back of his shoulder. “Tallie, Erik, this is my husband, Ben.”

Tallie immediately, and rather forwardly, stuck out a hand to the taller man, eyes still expressing something Rey couldn’t understand. Regardless, she was nonetheless relieved that the two of them were able to get along. 

“Tallissen Lintra,” she greeted as Ben took her hand. “But you can call me Tallie.” 

“Benjamin Solo,” he responded, a similar gaze in his own eyes, like he knew something that Rey didn’t. “But you can call me Ben.”

They shook hands for a moment longer than what was necessary, but Tallie tried to brush it off by shaking her head slightly, letting go of his hand. Then, she refocused back on Erik. “Ben, this is my partner, Erik.”

The two men greeted each other kindly, Erik displaying his beautiful smile and sparkling blue eyes. Rey could tell that Ben felt the need to size up slightly, but she was proud that he repressed the actions with ease. 

The two couples sat at the table and began looking at menus. Once the waitress came by, they all gave their drink orders, Rey shyly requesting water apart from everyone else’s alcoholic preferences. 

Ben had asked her in advance if she would mind if he tried something. She gave him permission, seeing as she used to love the alcohol in the city, but never had the fortunate opportunity to test it legally—not even now. 

Once they got their orders placed, the group began making causal conversation, mostly about Ben and Rey’s time in London. Rey was the one to answer, as Ben tried his best to ground himself after the sudden shock. How in the hell could he have missed this, like he completely disregarded their luck in having twins? Tallie and him went back very far, despite not speaking in over a decade. 

How many more “Tallie”s could there be, and what were the odds of this one being the same he knew?

“So Ben,” Tallie cleared her throat and looked over to him from where she was sitting on his right. “What—,” she paused looking for the correct way to phrase her question. “What do you do with yourself?”

He watched as she fiddled with her salad fork anxiously before his eyes, those crystal blue eyes, caught hers, signaling for him to respond. “I teach Classic Literature Studies and Intermediate Theatre Analysis at Reed College in Portland, Oregon.” His gaze glanced at everyone around the table as he told them with a forged ease he pulled out of his ass during this stressful turn of events. “I read a lot, write a lot, parent constantly.”

The other couple chuckled at his comment, and Rey grinned from her seat next to him. But something kn the way Tallie was smiling at him, it was like Rey’s when he told others things she already knew about himself.

“That’s a very interesting field of choice,” Erik stated curiously. “What made you pursue that?”

“I’ve always loved to create,” Ben explained after a moment, feeling the bashful burn in his ears. “And as I grew up, I realized writing was a way for me to create a different place for myself. Acting just kind of came with it.” He ran a hand through his dark hair. 

“Ben’s written a number of plays now,” Rey said with all the pride she could muster pouting from her gaze to Ben. “Performed by the university we attended. Premiered in New York a couple of times. He’s been awarded a number of honors for his writing and commentary on classical literature.”

Now Ben’s face was flushing scarlet. His right hand went to cover his mouth nervously, hiding a grin behind it. 

Tallie and Erik’s eyes went wide with wonder. “Wow,” Tallie exhaled on a breath. “Sounds like you do keep busy.”

Ben shrugged sheepishly. “I try. I just really like to read and put my opinion out there when asked for it.”

With that, everyone laughed again. Then, Tallie gave him a side glance. 

“And hopefully you stay out of trouble while doing so.”

“I mind my own, it’s others who keep looking for the trouble. It just somehow manages to magnetize itself to me.” He grinned at her. 

After a moment of silence, he spoke again.

“What about you both,” Ben asked casually. As Tallie was about to respond, the waitress came back with their drinks and passed them to their respective orderers. 

“I was a squadron leader in the Royal Air Force. Right now, I’m not on active duty, but I get called in every once and a while for training.” The blonde-headed woman smiled kindly before looking over to Erik. “Now I’m a nurse at the hospital in the city.”

“Tal,” Rey gasped, leaning back in her chair (that quite conveniently had armrests) with a dropped jaw. “You never told me you went into nursing?”

“It’s where I started before I joined,” Tallie informed Rey. I was just passing through until I made the decision to fly out of there.” Her eyes met Ben’s, who was watching her closely.

A twinge of something—a feeling?—went through his chest, the same way it used to years ago. She truly did fly out of there, but she kept soaring. 

“What about you, Erik,” Ben questioned when he finally gathered the courage to speak. 

“Essentially the same,” he responded with his thicker accent. “My homeland is actually Norway. Tal and I met when she was stationed there. Now, I’m here in a big city that communicates all over the world. The best part is that I’m working for travel agencies as a coordinator and translator.”

“That’s interesting,” Ben responded. “I’m sure the consistent deployment from the military has benefitted you language wise?” His eyes focused on the younger man from across the table. 

“Absolutely. Especially in Europe since all the countries are neighbors. What’s unfortunate is that you’ve got to keep them compartmentalized or else you’ll end up offending someone in a foreign language.”

The table laughed again. 

“I’m not that fantastic with the languages,” Tallie admitted. I’ve got Welsh and Celtic, maybe some French, but not much else.”

“French is something else,” Ben commented with the shake of his head. “Âme sentinelle, Murmurons l'aveu de la nuit si nulle et du jour en feu. Des humains suffrages, des communs élans là tu te dégages et voles selon.” He quoted so easily in the language, and it dripped from his tongue like honey.  
“L’Enternité, Arthur Rimbaud.”

“What does it mean?” Rey looked over to him curiously, absolutely bewildered that he knew how to speak the language, but absolutely in love with how delectable it made him to her in that moment.

Ben’s eyes landed on her, and it was like a saving grace, a lifeboat in a rough storm. He gave her a soft grin, gaze full of adoration. “It’s the second and third stanzas. Rimbaud says, ‘Sentinel soul, we whisper confession of the empty night and the fiery day. From human prayers, from common spirits you free yourself and thus you fly.’” At the last line, he turned his eyes back to Tallie for a moment, then to Erik, and back to Rey to play it off like it wasn’t deliberate. 

Tallie swallowed a lump in her throat, looking down into her glass. She picked it up by the stem and took a slow drink that seemed to burn, Ben noticed. 

“Yes, I think I’ve read that one once,” Erik mused, hands clasped together as he pondered his poetic history.

“It was one I studied in school. I included it in one of my plays,” Ben said to ease the tension. 

They continued to talk about French poetry and the in-depth analyses of them, something Rey didn’t really care about at the moment. What she was mainly focused on was her husband and her friend. Why were the two of them being so cryptic? The looks they shared, the things they said, the awkwardness in how they interacted—she didn’t get it. 

But she was glad he was the one having the drink tonight, which she watched him tend to slowly, because they were going to have a long discussion afterwards. 

—

“What’s the latest on our plans for Friday,” Rey asked as she moved around some of her food on her plate. 

Erik swallowed just bite quickly so he could respond to her. “I’ve got us all settled on a quick flight to Cologne. Shouldn’t take but two hours. While we’re in Germany, we can sight see until it’s time to meet up with Iva. She’s flying in from Prague.”

“How long will this extrusion be?” Ben looked over to the man who had the answers. 

Erik shrugged a tad. “Possibly two days: Friday and Saturday. Hopefully speaking with her will not take as long as we think. Maybe she’ll have all the answers to Rey’s questions beforehand.”

“I don’t know,” Rey warned. “I‘ve conjured some pretty intense questions about who my family might be.”

“Some that are completely absurd,” Tallie said with a smirk, looking across the table at her friend. She had finally returned back to the friend Rey had known her whole life. “She’s got a whole crime lab set up mentally and ready for interrogation.”

“It’s not my fault that I’ve wondered about who I am for the last number of years,” Rey defended herself, refusing to admit to how old she was. 

“However, knowing you, you will almost definitely ask the poor woman all of those questions, regardless if it’s you or not,” Ben commented, taking a sip of the glass of water he asked for. 

“Hey,” she glared at her husband playfully. “You never know if she has the answers. I might be a legend!”

“Or, we’re all insane for doing this on a whim and it’s highly unlikely this person is Rey,” added Erik. 

Tallie grunted. “Quit stepping on my dreams! Rey’s deserved this forever! I’ve been best friends with her my whole life and I’m almost sure this is her.”

“How so,” Erik tested his partner teasingly. 

“The woman definitely has a lot of Rey’s similar characteristics, obviously,” Tallie defended, gaze going soft as she looked at Rey. 

“You mean, like the fact she speaks Czech?” 

Rey’s eyes went wide. “I don’t speak Czech.”

“My wife speaking Czech,” Ben said with a teasing smirk as he looked up to the ceiling, pretending to daydream that reality. This caused Rey to swat at him playfully. 

Tallie presses her lips together frustratedly before she responded. “No,” she said stiffly. “But the woman looked like Rey.” 

“Tal,” Erik laughed aloud. “Iva definitely did not look like Rey. I think the drink has confused you.”

Tallie took up her glass quickly. “I promise you, Rey. She looked very similar to you.”

“That’s a hopeful sign. I’m just glad you remembered the way I had looked since I left London in two thousand and eight,” Rey grinned playfully, causing Tallie’s face to flush furiously. 

In Ben’s mind, something finally clicked. The thing Tallie confided in him years ago made so much sense now. His eyes jumped between the sheepish woman to his wife slowly. For piecing it together, he decided he took up his glass in his right hand and took a long sip of the burning, strong alcohol. 

“Who could forget you, Rey,” Tallie played off her embarrassment with a gushing comment to her friend, and a quick glance to Ben. He turned his gaze down to his plate, trying to keep a straight face as he stirred his drink in his hand that was propped up on the table from his elbow. 

—

“I’ll keep you updated for when you should leave for the airport from your hotel, Love,” Tallie told Rey, who had her hand latched onto Ben’s arm, whose hand was in his pocket. He watched the two women exchange conversation, remembering the realization he discovered in the back of his mind. 

“Sounds good. But please let me know the day before,” Rey warned with a pointed look. Tallie rolled her eyes with a smile. 

“When have I ever disappointed you?”

“I can think of a number of times,” Rey smirked. Ben chuckled under his breath, which his wife took to smugly by leaning into him even more. 

Tallie scoffed. “You Just wait. I’ll text it to you sooner so you can be wrong.” 

“We’ll see, Tal,” Rey laughed. 

The taller of the women closed the distance between them and wrapped herself around Rey, who awkwardly returned the embrace with a one armed maneuver. 

“Thank you for going out with us,” she said happily, then she turned her eyes to Ben. Placing a manicured hand on his bicep, she spoke to him. “And it was wonderful to meet you, Ben.”

Ben grinned lazily, feeling the effect of the drink (or two) he ordered. “The same to you, Tallie. And you, Erik,” he waved a goodbye to the man who stood a little bit off. 

Erik gave him a large smile and wave in return before stretching out a hand for Tallie to take. “Take care!”

And with that, both couples had parted ways for the night. Rey clung to Ben as the wind had picked up. He pressed a kiss down to the top of her head as they waited for their Lyft ride. 

“How do you feel after your drinks,” Rey asked him, looking up to him with a fond gaze. 

“Warm, pretty relaxed,” Ben answered, looking down at her. “I’m sorry I didn’t bring my jacket.”

“It’s okay,” she sighed. “We didn’t know the wind would be this chilly.”

“Use me to block the wind. I don’t want you sick.” Rey obliged happily, turning into his broad torso, leaning her head against his warm chest. Her bump pressed against his waist, which caught him off-guard and a chuckle escaped his lips. He wrapped his arms around her, hoping that some of his warmth would radiate on her, and all the unease is the even would blow away with the damned wind. 

—

At around 22.00, Rey and Ben made it back to their suite. Overall, Ben enjoyed their company, despite already knowing Tallie, but also felt the vibe that Rey had told him that morning. They were young. They didn’t have strings attached to much and were more nomadic with their hobbies and such. Ben and Rey were settled people. They liked the security, and they were tired of running. 

But he could see why going on this adventure would be fun. 

Ben now stood in front of the dresser, unclasping his watch from his left wrist. He rubbed the skin there carefully, then went to stretch his fingers in his right hand. Once he finished, he turned to find his wife who was sitting on the edge of the bed trying unlatch her sandals. Grinning at how cute she looked, he crossed the space from the dresser to the bed and knelt down in front of her to help. 

Rey leaned back, pressing her palms into the soft mattress as Ben took control of her slight crisis. “Thank you,” she said to him with a grin, wiggling her pink-painted toes after he pulled both shoes off. 

“Of course,” Ben responded with his own grin, looking up to the beautiful woman he called his own. She looked so lovely tonight in her flowy dress and wavy hair. It nearly looked like a picture of his grandmother that he loved so much (damn the Skywalker/Solo quirk that drew their eye to the dark hair and dark eye). He remained on his knee as he gazed at her fondly, leaning back against the leg that was against the ground. 

“What is it, Ben?” Her eyes searched his with a sparkle, a closed smile being offered to him willingly. 

“You are just,” he exhaled a breath, looking at her in amazement. “So beautiful.” The buzz from the strong alcohol was still there and burned so pleasurably. 

The woman leaned up from where she was, smile turning into a smirk as she brought her face close to his. “I suspect it’s because I am completely and utterly in love with you and the life we’ve created. That could only be the reason.”

“No,” His grin remained on his face, pupils dilating as he watched her move closer. “That’s not the only reason.”  
After pausing, he began again. “I,” he brushed back some of her hair behind her ear lazily, “am so in love with you.” 

She giggled, quickly pressing a kiss to his soft lips. “I believe love has blinded you.”

Ben chuckled quietly. “I never said that.”

Rey hummed before she broke into a smile. “But I think it’s true.”

“Why do you say?”

She didn’t respond immediately, a grin still shaking on her features as her fingertips brushed the side of his cheek gently. Despite feeling a tad in the dark and thoroughly confused about what happened tonight, she still managed to focus on the love she has for him. She decided to use his inebriated state to her advantage. “There was something off about tonight.”

Ben’s brow furrowed as he shifted his weight. “What do you mean?”

Rey released a sigh, sitting up a little taller, and moved some of his dark hair away from his face. “The way you and Tallie interacted all night was rather odd. It seemed a little,” she looked away as if she was searching for the right word to say. “Forced.”

Ben froze slightly, gaze changing into one of knowing. Her words were sobering. With that, Rey perked up, pointing at him.

“That look, yes. It was written across your face all night.”

“Rey” Ben exhaled once again. “I have a ton of judgmental expressions. I think I’m going to need you to elaborate.”

“It looked as if you knew something about Tallie—of Tallie.”

He remained silent, so she spoke up again. “The way she watched you is like how someone watches the person they love talk about themselves and what they enjoy, but the person already knows all of that.”

Ben allowed silence to overtake them, creating space between the little world they had just made for themselves. Slowly, Ben stood and walked over to the large window that overlooked the city. He crossed his arms over his chest defensively, the material of the blue shirt stretching against his muscular back. 

“It’s nothing, Rey. Nothing you should worry about.”

Rey rose from the mattress, holding the underneath of her baby bump carefully as she rose, feeling the small pain in her side once again. She padded over to where he stood, and pressed on. 

“This is what I’m talking about, Sweetheart,” she took a breath. “About being blinded by how much you love me. I think it’s makes you keep secrets from me.”

“I don’t keep secrets from you, Rey,” Ben said sternly, turning his head to the side to look at her over his shoulder. “You’re my wife. When we married, I promised I wouldn’t do that.”

Rey huffed out a breath frustratedly, but kept herself calm. He turned to her slightly, brow furrowing, gaze turning defensive. 

“Do you think I’m keeping secrets from you?”

“No,” she responded immediately, cradling her bump in her arms protectively. “Not secrets. You told me something last night that I’ve been dwelling on all day.”

He raised an eyebrow to her, acknowledging her to continue. 

“You told me,” she took a step closer to him, “that I saved you from a dark place in your life.” Ben’s dark eyes remained on her as she came closer. His heart fluttered with so much love for her as he watched how she protected her swell, already wishing to hold them closer than how she already was 

“You’ve never opened up to me about that part of you life.” She placed a delicate hand on his bicep lovingly. He didn’t jerk or pull away, so Rey knew he was calm. 

“Ben,” she tried quietly. “Do you not trust me?”

“I absolutely trust you,” he responded incredulously. “I trust you with my entire life. With everything I am.”

Her thumb caressed the side of his muscular arm gently, trying to calm him down to her touch. “Then why haven’t you told me?”

He remained silent as his eyes focused on her. After a moment of quiet deliberation, he turned himself back towards the window and stared at something down below, or rather, nothing at all except for the thoughts inside his mind. 

“If it involves you and Tallie,” she pressed cautiously. “I wouldn’t be mad about it. I mean, you didn’t even truly know who I was talking about until today. If it’s a past history, know that I’m okay with it—.”

“Sweetheart,” Ben interrupted with a low voice. He remained stationary, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Do you remember all those years ago when you told me of those painful memories you had in this place?”

“Yes,” she confirmed, looking up to him, searching for some remnant of hope that he was willing to open up. 

Ben took a deep breath before he continued. 

“I’ve got my fair share of trauma, too.”

All she could do was look up at him wearily as they stood in the moonlight that poured into the room. Her feet took her closer to where he was, longing to touch him—to hold him and to tell him that having that baggage was okay. That they can work it out together. 

“Before I knew you, my life was full of anger and destruction. Pain, too. A white, hot pain unlike anything I’ve physically experienced before.”

His wife was gazing up at him with those wide, hazel eyes he absolutely adored. He turned his head to her, taking in her small, loving form like it was a glass of water. 

“If right now isn’t the right time to discuss it,” Rey started before Ben shook his head. 

“You were right, Rey. I do keep parts of my life from you because I want nothing but to keep you from hurting, from having to know that side of me, that version of me, existed.” He turned his head back to stare at the colorful skyline. 

“It would absolutely terrify you, Sweetheart.”

Rey stepped closer to him, a sincere look in her eyes. “I’m not afraid of the past, Ben. And whoever you were,” she shook her head, “that’s not who my husband is.”

The corner of Ben’s lips quirked, like he wanted to grin at how happy her statement made him. Rey saw this and reached her hand to touch his right arm gently. Once her fingers made contact with his skin, he realized how much he was going to need her support in order to relive all of these traumatic memories.

He removed his hand from his pocket and took ahold of her hand in his. Carefully, he pulled her close to him and allowed her to press into his body, and she found some relief in how he applied pressure to her lower back. And even some relief from her ache to touch him. 

She felt better when they were one, when they were physically connected. And she knew he did too. 

“I’m right here,” Rey confirmed, leaning her head against his shoulder, arms wrapping around his waist “We’ve got forever to talk about it. Take your time.”

He hummed wearily, absolutely terrified of the memories that were crawling from the recesses of his mind like demons rising from the pit of hell. They snarled at him, eyes blood red and bodies pitch black, with claws that used to nearly tear him apart on the inside. He worked so hard with his therapist to get them to disappear, but he stuffed them away instead; hid that part of his life from everyone, and begged his family not to let anyone know. 

Trembling at the thought of letting them loose, he took a shaky breath. 

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Ooooo do I have a plot for y’all...even more than what I’ve got in place!!! 
> 
> Oh it’s made everything so interesting. I hope you all are ready. I might do double post because I can’t keep this in. 
> 
> I absolutely adore each of you who have taken the time to read my story. I’ve loved writing these characters and dwelling deep in who they are and their lives. 
> 
> Also, go check out that poem I mentioned in here. It’s absolutely beautiful. 
> 
> P.S. we’re about to experience some deep-rooted trauma and history of Ben’s.
> 
> All my love! X
> 
> P. S. S. I spelled Tallie’s full name wrong here once...and in the rest of my drafts. RIP me.


	29. Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ I feel out of focus,  
> Or at least indisposed  
> As this strange weather pattern  
> Inside me takes hold.  
> Each brave step forward,  
> I take three steps behind.  
> It's mind over matter -  
> Matter over mind.
> 
> Slowly, then all at once.  
> A single loose thread  
> And it all comes undone.”  
> —Sorrow; Sleeping At Last
> 
> —
> 
> Ben finally opens up to Rey about some troubling events in his life, but eventually, it takes him deeper into the memories he tried to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovely Readers,
> 
> I am deciding to change the rating of the chapter to explicit due to some mature content I have chosen to write about. In this chapter, there are a few specific moments discussed that may be triggering to some of you. 
> 
> Please take care of yourself. If you struggle from the severe impact of PTSD (especially from serious accidents I.e car crashes, military-related causes, etc.), please take caution. I have tried my best to not be as specific as possible and to draw an instant out, but if you or someone you know has experienced anything like this, it may be a difficult read. 
> 
> I love you all, and wanted to give you a warning. Take care, love yourselves, and seek the joy in everything. I am here for you! <3

Ben and Rey stood in the moonlight that poured into their room, holding onto each other like they shared a lifeline. She waited patiently for him to feel ready, to find the strength to let her in. He was trembling, something she had never seen him do, and it sent slight panic through her body. 

“I had this friend,” Ben began slowly, hands clasped in the material of Rey’s thin dress. “Forgive me for baffling you with her name, but I swear to you, this is what her legal birth certificate says.” Ben paused to recollect the name properly. “Phashestha.”

“What?”

“Phashestha,” he repeated. “But we called her Phasma. It was a hell of a lot shorter than her full name, and one she actually liked. She, Hux—my roommate during school—, and I were close in high school. Essentially the only couple of friends I had my age. But Phas,” he chuckled aloud at the fond memories of his friend. “She was even taller than me.”

“Seriously?” Rey looked up at him in such wonder. He caught her gaze and nearly giggled at how childlike she looked. At how much she looked like Ivy. 

“Yeah. She was one hell of a woman though.” Ben grinned, taking another breath. “She was insane.”

“I bet,” Rey mumbled under her breath, suddenly feeling intimidated by the thought of a woman nearly a foot taller than herself. 

“But she was one of my best friends,” Ben ignored her comment and held her closer as Rey burrowed.

“What happened between you both?”

A short pause as he stared ahead blankly before his face contorted into one full of pain and anger, one Rey didn’t want him to ever have to express. “She died.”

Rey didn’t reply this time. Her only solution was to nuzzle her nose into his shoulder gently. 

“We all had this thing of sneaking out of the house and combing the neighborhood late at night. We’d sit on roofs, walk downtown, all kinds of insane things that nearly gave my mother a heart attack. However, it was in November before we graduated high school when she died.”

Taking another breath, he continued further. “She wanted us to go somewhere with her, but I had some kind of exam and Hux just didn’t want to. So, as stubborn as she was, she went anyway, alone, and got herself into Heaven knows what.

“There was a worksite downtown where they were building a new electronic store. I don’t know what it was called—this was in the November of two thousand and three. Phas went fucking around among the construction, but then got herself into a place where she shouldn’t have been. 

“She didn’t come to school that next day, which worried the hell out of us. It was pretty alarming when we asked around but no one knew. When I got home that day, Mom immediately pulled me into one of the biggest hugs she’d ever given. As a confused senior, I nearly pried her off of me, but Dad came into view with a look I’ll never forget.

“Then, after he beckoned us to join him in the living room, I found out what happened. Dad received a call from the neighbors asking for help down at the industrial site. The security footage he watched showed him that she was about twenty feet high and fell off an unsteady metal beam. Somehow, she survived the fall, twisted in ways the human body shouldn’t have been, but didn’t make it till morning.”

“She,” Rey began, at a total loss for words at the huge tragedy in Ben’s life. “She laid there all night until morning? Alone?”

Ben choked out a tearful chuckle, eyes glistening with tears that he dared not let fall. “Yeah, she did.” 

Rey mumbles a cry quietly, feeling just how painful this was for her husband. Ben looked down to her, who was trying her best not to draw attention to herself. His hand moved from around her waist to the crown of her head, which he placed a longer, more intently kiss upon. 

“It’s okay, Rey,” he comforted gently. “It was something we couldn’t control.”

“Ben,” she whimpered, looking up to him with such a horrified expression. “I’m so sorry she was taken away from you too quickly.”

Ben gave her a sad grin, turning his body so that he could face her. His hands came up on either side of her face, thumbing away the falling tears that appeared on her cheeks. “Thank you, Angel. Please don’t feel like you shouldn’t cry. It was a very unfortunate accident that impacted all of us.”

Rey nodded pitifully, wiping away her tears. “Just give me a minute and I will be strong again, like you are for me.”

Ben laughed quietly. “It’s okay, Rey. I think you’re so strong by allowing yourself to feel how sad it really is.” 

“I can’t imagine how you felt,” she sniffled. “You were best friends with her.”

Ben shrugged slightly. “Feeling didn’t really come until years after. I was numb from the pain for a long time. But when I did finally experience it, it tore me apart.” 

“Is this why you won’t let Ivy climb on things? Like how she used to climb over her crib?”

“Or how she used to crawl down the stairs to the garage.”

“Or her jumping on the bed without us in the room?”

“And, most specifically, the reason why I always buckle her in her car seat and take her out myself.”

“Oh,” Rey whimpered again, hiding her face into her hands. Her heart was broken. “Oh, Ben.”

“I know,” he sad solemnly. “I just don’t trust it. It’s been nearly seventeen years and I still worry one of you two, or my parents, are going to—.” 

Ben stopped himself, groaning unhappily, hand coming up to cover the mask of his face as the thought of it happening to anyone he loved nauseated him. 

Rey did her best to collect herself in that moment. She dried her own tears and looked up at him with a steady gaze. Thankfully, she was successful and was able to calm herself down in order to comfort him. 

“Give yourself a moment to breathe, my Love.”

Ben nodded, making himself focus solely on his breathing cycle, just as his therapist and Luke taught him to do when feeling this way. After a moment, he composed himself and continued on. 

“I don’t remember much of the next days after that. Mom tried to talk to me but I couldn’t hear her. Dad had to pull me back to reality a number of times with ice cubes in my hands, which would continue for the rest of my time in school. 

“We had just lost Uncle Ben, my grandfather’s best friend, the one who I’m named after, and then I had lost my own. Dad kept a careful eye on me for the next several months. I wasn’t allowed to go into my room alone if it wasn’t to sleep. Mom slept with the door open at night across the hall for a while. Dad took the initiative to drove me to school instead of letting me riding my bike. 

“Hux and I remained close. Closer than ever, really, which is why we’re still friends today. But a few hours after Dad told me, I ran out of the house and down to his. He saw me through his living room window and burst out as well. The look on his face, the tears in his eyes, and the brokenness in his heart were the last few things that caused my world to crumble. That’s the moment I knew my life was going to be fucked for a while.”

The two of them had moved to the large bed due to Rey slowly growing uncomfortable from standing for too long. Rey was propped up comfortably with pillows as she played with Ben’s hair in her lap while he continued on. 

“So, when we turned eighteen, and in order to deal with the grief of that, Hux and I enlisted into the military.”

“You were in the military?” Rey looked at him with wide eyes, once again, baffled by how many situations Ben was forced to face before he was even a full adult. 

“Hux and I enlisted against our parents’ desperate pleas. I thought it would be the best for me since my grandfather was a military pilot for several years. It taught him resilience, strength, courage, and how to live with the highest honor. I thought that’s what I needed to help my life turn out better than the hell I was stuck in. 

“However, it didn’t work out that way. Basic training whipped me into the monstrous size you see now.” Rey swatted his nose disapprovingly. “Hux and I were split, and I was trained for ground combat. I was a Corporal in the United States Army Reserve in charge of a small squad. Once I got to that rank, I was deployed with my six men to various places around the world; Germany, the United Kingdom, Central America, Switzerland, Spain, Portugal, France, Italy.”

Ben lifted a hand that was resting on his torso to fidget his fingers mindlessly. “In the span of five years, I’ve been to so many places.” He exhaled a breath, feeling Rey’s fingers twisting some of his hair around her finger. 

“About a year into my deployment, I got word that Grandmother was extremely sick and requested for me to return home. They let me, after much consideration, and I went to her.”

He had to stop. The overwhelming painful feeling his heart felt was rising to the surface, the feeling he always encountered when he remembered his loving Grandmother. The tightness in his chest made it hard for him to breathe, which caused Rey to lean up to see his face, looking at him steadily. 

“Take your time, Ben,” she soothed, keeping her gaze intently on him. “Breathe for me.”

Ben took a deep breath, eyes stinging with tears at remembering the thoughts. He brought his hands to his eyes, pressing the heel of his palms against them firmly. “I went to her, Rey. I dropped everything and went. But fuck, was it one of the hardest times of my life. My family was desperately clinging to the hope that she’d heal, but she grew weaker with each day. When I got to the hospital, they all cried when they saw me. My mother clung to me, barely letting me go until Luke pried her off. She was so scared to lose her own mother, and somehow, I had to be strong enough for all of us. 

“When I walked into her room, I saw her and Anakin sitting quietly with each other. He was leaning against her bed, speaking to her quietly in that little space. He didn’t recognize me at first when I was in the doorway, but the minute he did,” he broke off to chuckle sadly. “It was like he was trying not to cry, not to smile, and not to beat my ass all at the same time from his chair.

“At his request, I joined them and kneeled down next to her bedside. When she saw me, she smiled at me like she always would,” he smiled at the memory. “She may have aged, but her eyes remained bright and full of love.”

Rey brushed his hair back with her fingers as she listened to her husband. He stared up at the ceiling, eyes slowly shedding tears. 

“She requested I stay as long as I could, so I remained in that room until the nurses told me to leave. Her small hands—though she was so sick, never trembled—played with my hair, touched my face, and held onto me as much as possible. I knew she had missed me. While I was away, I received her letters frequently, which nearly made me drop and come home. But she knew I couldn’t, like Anakin couldn’t when he was stationed. 

“Grandy stayed near to us, always. He’d pull at my ears every so often, something he’d always done with me. Apparently, he’d grab the nape of my mom and uncle’s neck when he wanted their attention, and still did till the day he passed. Unfortunately for me, my ears were the target of his choosing the second time around raising a kid.”

“We’re Luke’s children as close as you are to them?”

Ben nodded. “We were all a very tight-knit family, especially when Padmé and Anakin were alive. They loved the four grandchildren so much. However, since my parents had me so young, and because they were always living a crazy life, I stayed with them very often. I used to go over their house three times a week when I first started driving. It was the first place I’d go after school.”

“Did Jacen and Jay do the same?” Her hazel eyes peered up at him curiously. 

“Not really. Luke and Mara Jade lived a little farther out, and the boys went to a private school. Padgett, their youngest daughter, was closer to my grandparents though. She was the youngest grandchild and Padmé loved that baby. It’s who the girl was named after, in truth. The twins kind of raised hell for everyone, including my grandfather, who had enough hellfire to control. Padmé thought they were all the more perfect, little versions of Anakin, but damn if Grandy and I didn’t roll our eyes at half the shit they got themselves into.”

His wife giggled. “You and Anakin were a pair, weren’t you?”

“Oh yeah,” he grinned smugly. “He was my best friend. Mom would eventually get jealous that he was stealing me away from her, and eventually joined in on all our escapades. They were just as close, if not closer.”

“That’s very sweet,” cooed Rey. “What happened to your grandmother?”

Ben released a sigh, tilting his head slightly so he could see her better from his position in her lap. “About a week later, she passed. The entire family was distraught as she was the true matriarch that kept us put together peacefully. My mother and uncle were at a loss for what to do—especially Luke, who was closer to her than anyone. Anakin, though, had just come out of healing from the loss of Ben, and now had to deal with the passing of his wife. 

“Everything went dark for a while. I shut down, Grandy started to close himself off, and Mom and Luke were desperately scrambling to keep us all together. I went back to active duty, despite their protests. 

“There was a time that Dad had to drag me out of a bar and throw me into his truck to knock some sense into me.” Ben grinned painfully at the thought. “It was the only time he had ever been rough with me. But it was with good intentions. Now that I had grown into my own body, I could handle the impact.” 

A laugh escaped his chest abruptly. “He’s a strong man. There’s no way I could ever be twice the person he is.”

Rey’s gaze had turned melancholy as she listened to the unfortunate turn of events. 

“I eventually left with no true sense of who I was nor with any connection to my emotions. I worked my way up, training day and night, cutting myself off from the outside world to be the best I could. The most powerful that I could become. After a year and so, they promoted me up a couple of ranks, essentially making me a leader of my squad of six guys. I was more aggressive and hostile then. Not totally in control of my emotions, and willing to go to the line between human and inhumane for what I did. Mainly because I needed something so thrilling,” he used his hands to elaborate. “So austere that I could feel the impact I would have on people.”

He lowered his hands back into his toned stomach. “We called ourselves,” he laughed aloud at the silly memory, shaking his head slightly. “The Knights of Ren—one of the guys’ idea for a platoon nickname. Regardless of how humorously cringy the name was, we were one of the best on-ground combat squadrons. I was constantly training, going through target practice, and making my men volunteer on the harder of missions.”

“Did you ever have to,” Rey halted her question as she tried to find the right word, “fight?”

“Yes,” he answered seriously. “There were a number of times we had to fight against invaders, threats, terrorists. People who had taken my men hostage. It’s not my proudest accolade, but I’ve taken down a number of people—weapon or without. My group didn’t allow for a lot of mercy when we fought.”

Rey’s eyes looked down to his chest, still fumbling with the button anxiously. His hand came up to find hers, clasping it carefully to console her running mind. 

“Know that it’s a part of myself I’m not fond of, and actively choose not to pursue a life of warfare anymore. Plus,” his eyes closed slowly. “War changes people into things—no longer beings—sometimes. And that’s exactly what it did to me, or rather, I let it do to me.”

“What else happened,” Rey said quickly, her eyes looking into his wearily, brow crinkled in concern. 

“This went on for a while,” Ben answered honestly. “But then there was an accident.”

“An accident?”

“Yeah,” Ben said, opening his eyes and gazed upon her beautiful face. “One of my troop members accidentally set off a landmine. We heard the noise that no ear could confuse. I’ll never forget it.”

“Ben,” her voice hitched as she sat up a little higher, hands pausing from their musings in his hair. “Were you hurt? Are one of these limbs not yours?” Her eyes scanned him over frantically for signs of amputation. Her left hand reached out to check spots hidden by clothing. Ben merely chuckled at her, taking her hand in his own, and bringing it to his lips. He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand gently.” 

“I’m okay, now. My limbs are all mine, but I was a sight for sore eyes.” Ben looked up at her assuredly, hoping to comfort her in some way. “It was in two thousand and nine, Sweetheart. I’m doing just fine for the type of accident I was in.”

“What happened? How bad was this accident?”

“Let’s just say I got close enough to help, but he told me to stay back, acknowledging that his is what defending his country looked like, sacrifice and heartbreak, and then there was nothing.”

—  
Janruary 2009

Ben’s eyes were wide, full of horror as he stared at his troop member, who had frozen in his tracks after he heard the unmistakable beeping of an activated explosive beneath his right foot. 

“Ushar,” Ben cried out, the intensity of his fear seeping through his words. It was hot and the sun was baring down on them horribly, and the back of his neck burned furiously. But nothing compared to the pain his heart was beginning to feel as he watched one of his soldiers prepare for his demise. 

The other five men jumped back carefully, some protecting the others with an outstretched arm. They removed the visors to their helmets instantly to see what was happening. Their leader, Corporal Solo, was standing shock still, dark hair plastered to his sweaty forehead beneath the helmet, watching the man’s every movement. 

Ushar turned his head back to Ben, who had found the courage to start approaching. He held a hand out to the other man, shaking his head with pleading eyes that radiated such determination. Ben stopped, mouth hanging open at Ushar’s reaction. 

“Ushar, let me help you; we—we can call someone, bomb squad, to come help you out.” 

“Nah, Corporal,” Ushar dissuaded him. “I don’t think that’s going to be worthwhile.”

“What the hell do you mean, ‘worthwhile?’” Ben nearly spit out as his emotions began to get the better of him. “Private, this is your life we are talking about! You’re about a twitch away from being dead.” 

“Sir,” Private Ushar said firmly. “With no disrespect, I am asking you to not call for help.”

“Then what the fuck are we supposed to do to save your life? Whatever happens to you, I’m responsible for it, and I downright refuse to let you die.” Ben’s brown eyes were wild with bewilderment as he yelled across the open space to the member of his small unit. 

“‘Nothing, Sir,” the man responded. Ben was baffled. He looked around to the rest of his squad, who was still frozen several paces behind. 

“Do explain, then.” Ben commanded, plummeting his fear with absolute assuredness. He straightened his posture into one of powerful composure, despite nearly ready to pounce on how idiotic the man was being. 

“I don’t beg for mercy,” Usher said after taking a breath. “Especially for the life I willingly laid down for my country. And I sure as hell don’t let the enemy plead for their own when they’re in my line of fire. So why be a hypocrite now in the face of my own demise?”

“Private,” Ben scolded. “We can get you free. You don’t have to make an ultimatum for yourself.” Ben desperately hoped the man would agree. But he hoped that someone was actually able to deactivate the explosive even more. Not only was he at war physically, but emotionally inside as he remained in complete composure for the sake of his soldier in distress. 

“I only deal in absolutes, Sir.” Ushar grinned, a his lips slightly trembling. “For you all to see, and to truly know,” he addressed each of his squadron members behind Ben. “This is what defending the land you love looks like. This is what sacrifice is.” He gave them one last wink. “It’s been an honor fighting by your side, and under your command, Corporal.”

“Ushar! Don’t—!”

Before Ben could finish his plea, a large flash of light overwhelmed his senses and everything went silent. A sharp ring ruptured in his ears. He couldn’t see anything—it was dark. Every so often, he felt like he was bumped around, jostled, even if this spiritual body of his could be disturbed in whatever void he found himself in. 

Something was approaching him—he could sense it. White blinded his sights as he tried to squint his eyes open to see his surroundings. When he did open his eyes, he saw nothing but the sharp, painful color. A void. An in between place of death and life he couldn’t comprehend. 

Voices flooded his mind mixed with the ringing in his ears, the voices of his parents, his grandfather—Grandmother! Luke, his cousins—Phas. 

Everyone he had ever loved was speaking to him all at once and too fast for him to understand. The ringing was violent; the pain intensified throughout his whole form, causing him to scream. He tried to cover his ears and head with his hands, but every move he made shot fire through his limbs, through every muscle and microfiber of his being. 

Bliss was dead. Peace was no longer an option. All it could ever be, he felt, was pain. Torture. Agonizing tearing and burning. 

Eventually, it became too much for him, and the white suddenly returned to the dark black, and then everything he felt and consciously knew was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! 
> 
> WOW was this a chapter to write. But, you all don’t even know how excited I am to introduce more of Ben’s backstory, which has molded him into the lover we adore today. 
> 
> I am definitely setting the maturity rating to explicit because I plan to become a little more descriptive in some specific scenes for future chapters. 
> 
> Life is not all that easy, sometimes. As someone who has lost a friend in a horrendous car accident, nearly another who was also involved (and had to watch him learn how to function, like walk and write, again), and has suffered from severe anxiety and depression from this and other things, I know how difficult life can be. 
> 
> Please take care of yourselves, like I said earlier. Love yourselves! Wash your hands! Drink water! 
> 
> Prepare for learning some depth to our space prince!!!
> 
> All my love x


	30. Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Pin me down and hold me closer  
> I want to look straight in your eyes  
> Because I dont know where I'm going  
> Who I'm with, or if you're going to be coming too
> 
> It's always blood then rust, it's rust then rain  
> And oh I know you feel the same  
> It's always skin then sheets, then skin again.  
> Your love is like a hurricane.”  
> —Hurricane; Amber Run
> 
> —
> 
> It’s 2009, and Ben wakes up to a whole new way of life with very different people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready, Readers;
> 
> Things are about to get a little more interesting :-D

February 2009

Ben blinked his eyes open slowly after waking from whatever darkness he fell from. The light inside of the tan room reminded him of the white, hot pain he experienced—wait, how long ago? 

He immediately closed his eyes again with a pained groan due to the overwhelming sensation of the bright ray of sunshine pouring through the window. His hand wanted to rise to hide his face, but he didn’t feel the touch of his fingers. 

Panic flooded over his groggy state of consciousness. Wanting to know why his body wasn’t working, he forced his eyes open slowly, allowing the pain to rush over him. 

His body was stretched out on top of a hospital bed with blue sheets. The walls around him were nearly bare except for the few inspirational paintings that hung on the walls and medical information and equipment. It smelled sterile. A machine that was pumping in a repetitive motion was slowly becoming present in his ear. Blinking, he began realizing where he was, and, even more so, aware of the condition of his physical being. 

His chest was heavy and something was in his throat. He heard the beeping of a machine that he only assumed was monitoring his heart rate increase rapidly as he felt himself choking. Swiftly, a number of nurses burst into his room, assisting him with the immediate discomfort he was feeling. 

They had to remove a breathing tube from his bronchial track, which brought tears to his red, busted blood-vessel stained eyes. He groaned once they were done, scrunching his face because of the complete shock of the pain. 

“We’re sorry, Mister Solo,” a friendly female nurse said sympathetically, checking his vitals and making sure there were no other complications. “The tube is always the worst part about waking up.”

Ben hummed, voice raspy and nearly inaudible. 

“Your doctor should be with you shortly, and he’ll provide all the answers to your questions. Just sit tight,” she said with a smile, British accent now present in her voice the more Ben was gaining consciousness. 

Like I’m going anywhere, he thought to himself. She left, closing the door behind her quietly. Ben took a deep breath, allowing himself to take in everything around him vividly. Opening his eyes once more, he looked down to check the state of his body. 

His left foot was hanging in a propped position, covered in a cast up to his shin. His hands were also hanging above him, one in a cast and the other attached to some brace with a mechanical version of fingers attached to his own. His head was pounding, eyes burning, and he could feel the throb of his aching body with every breath. 

“Ah, Corporal Solo,” a male voice interrupted his full-body scan. Ben’s eyes looked over to the doctor who entered the room, and the young, blonde nurse that followed with a cup of water and a straw. “Nice of you to join us. Welcome back to the land of the living.”

Ben tried to chuckle, but it merely came out as a breath of air, which hurt his chest entirely too much. 

“Before we begin, I’m going to ask you a series of questions to make sure that there is no sign of significant brain trauma. Is that alright?”

Ben’s lips mouthed the word “yes” since his voice was MIA. The doctor smiled.

“Good. Let us begin.”

The nurse helped Ben take a long sip of water, urging him to go slow before the man started his interrogation. The questions were absolutely ridiculous, like counting down from one hundred by sevens. Ben’s voice slowly returned the more he spoke, but was rough and had a few holes as he tried to inflect his voice in different places. Eventually, the doctor began asking him basic information, like his birthday, his name, where he was from, and more to that nature. Then, he asked Ben what day it was, and Ben responded timidly.

“I don’t know,” he rasped. “The last thing I remember is seeing one of my men trigger a landmine in Afghanistan.”

The doctor hummed, writing some things down on his clipboard before he turned his gaze back to Ben. 

“Ben,” he sighed. “There was indeed an explosion that compromised your squadron. However, it has been nearly three weeks since that incident. We are now voyaging into the month of February, two-thousand and nine.”

Ben swallowed a hard lump in his throat before he asked his first question. “Did any of my men survive it?”

“Yes, five of them are alive and healing from the blast, some more injured than others. You and Private Ushar received the most critical injury.”

“And he—he didn’t,” Ben tried to say but couldn’t. He had no words. Part of himself refused to speak it into existence in fear that it was absolutely true. 

But much to his dismay, it was. “There were no remains of Private Ushar when medics arrived at the scene,” the doctor informed him regretfully. “I do sincerely apologize, Corporal.”

Ben wanted to nod but couldn’t find the strength to. His men, wounded, traumatized, and one dead, under his leadership. Anger boiled in his chest at how unfair this was. Death reaped over his life like a vulture, and he didn’t understand why. He would have rather lost his life in that explosion than to have to watch anyone else in his own leave this realm. 

“Your injuries have nearly a ninety-five percent healing rate, only to be inhibited by eventual arthritis, pain, and possible nerve damage. We suspect that you may have trouble in your right hand due to the impact of how the explosion threw you against the ground several feet away, as well as the debris of the rock landing on you. However, with extensive physical therapy, you should fully recover quickly.”

Ben tried to express that he was grateful for the information, but could only offer him a sad, pressed smile. 

“There are a few things I am concerned about, though,” the older man stepped forward to look at the current state of his head. “Despite your helmet protecting you, you still received major trauma to your head. There was some significant brain bleeding, which you’re still swollen from, and you will have some scaring behind your ears and base of your skull. All due to rocks splitting the skin so intensely, and the force of which you landed.”

The doctor then looked him in his eyes seriously. “And another thing. Physical injury has the likelihood to heal more profoundly than mental and emotional injury. I am no psychiatrist, but while you are here and transitioning into rehabilitation, I highly recommend you see a professional regarding these issues.”

Ben could only stare at him. He knew he was well enough depressed to need help, but why in the world would he deserve it? No one knew of the things he did while with his men—the painful choices he had to make, the rewiring of aggressive mindsets in his squad. His own dark thoughts running ramped since the loss of his best friend, and even his beloved grandmother. 

“I do advise this with every ounce of authenticity my professional status can offer,” the doctor nodded gravely. “Trauma of this nature are hard to survive if you are not willing to help yourself.”

And with that, the older man offered a sympathetic smile before turning to leave.

—

Thankfully, Ben healed rather quickly due to the patience he had to learn to endure through years of military service. During the times he couldn’t use his body, he meditated, recollecting on all the mindfulness techniques his uncle had walked him through after Phasma’s death. Sometimes, however, he found himself overwhelmed by the shock of everything—the loss of people he cared of, his life almost taken from him, the pain others had to face, the agony his family must be in for not knowing any updates on his injury. It was all so much sometimes that Ben couldn’t handle it, and nearly allowed his anger to physically hurt himself further. 

One of his nurses, a pretty girl with blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, made him her responsibility since the first time she had tended to him with that cup of water and pitiful plastic straw. She was young, much younger than Ben would have imagined someone to begin their nursing career. Every day, she brought him a new book to begin reading, as he had a ton of time now to finish one in a day—a skill he had picked up when he was a child. She would check and double check everything for him, which Ben actively teased her for wanting to gaze upon his still bruised, scabbing features. The girl immediately bit back with the fact that he never refused, and that someone had to make sure his prominent ears weren’t going to fall off in his sleep. 

To that, he would look at her sincerely and said, “I genuinely hope they do.” 

Tallissen was the name he read on her badge once his sight was somewhat functional again. He thought it was a neat name, something he hadn’t heard before. But that’s all he really knew of her at first, despite the fact that she was a feisty thing and was still learning to empathize with people despite being a nurse. 

She also had a bad habit about dog-earring books, and starting them without finishing. Ben resented that, and let her know every damn day. 

About a week after he woke, Tallissen had began to get him out of bed and to his physical therapy sessions. She would wheel him in a wheelchair, so strong for such a small woman pushing a bulky military man, down the halls and to the rehab wing of the hospital. They talked about all sorts of things during these times, like where they were both from, the differences of lifestyles in London versus the States, why she chose nursing—why he chose active combat (to which he would glare and brush off like an angsty teenage boy). Ben even ventured to ask her peculiar questions about what made her who she was, something he learned to do from writing and reading so many incredible stories. 

Tallissen told him everything he wanted to know during the days she stayed with him. When he couldn’t use his hands, she fed him. The catheter situation was a subject neither of them cared to discuss at all. She washed his hair and helped him find a male nurse who could assist him in the shower, saving them from even more embarrassment. 

Within the month he had been awake, the two were inseparable. They joked around in almost every possible moment, and Talissen put up a pretty excellent fight when it came to his sarcasm. Sometimes it came back to bite him in the ass, which he could still barely feel. 

The girl had also unfortunately been around for many of the breakdowns Ben had suffered, especially when he was sleeping during the day and she was resting in his room. He experienced a fitful dream, more than likely because his brain was trying to process the traumatic event of the explosion. He began to whimper in his sleep, which caught the nurse’s attention. Then, it became whines, to moans, then nearly to screams. Talissen rushed over to him, bringing him back to consciousness through waking techniques she had learned especially for cases like this. 

His eyes, still spotted with large red spots, stared at her in terror before they darted around the room anxiously to check his surroundings. When he realized where he was and who was comforting him, he immediately broke down into heart wrenching sobs. He couldn’t hide his face because his left hand was still healing in a cast, while the other was physically dead to him. His embarrassment for showing such weakness, how broken he had become, made him even more overwhelmed and caused the tears to flow even faster. 

Ben tried to hide his face from her, but she kept pulling his attention back, attempting to talk him down. Once she did, he found himself utterly exhausted, whatever energy he had left that his body wasn’t using to heal itself had drained. He looked at her longingly, exhaustion pooling in his eyes as she rose from the bed. 

“Stay with me, please. I don’t want to be alone.” 

After a moment of staring at him in utter shock, she found herself laying with him, pressing patterns into his chest with her palm while her head rested against his shoulder. His breathing returned back to normal as he turned his head into hers, drifting off to sleep to the sweet smell of her perfume. 

That wasn’t the only time, though. There were others when he became violently angry and had to have a couple of male nurses hold him down while she sedated him. His mind would snap him into moments of utter rage, hatred for how life seemed to fuck up his plans, his dreams, his goals. He was stuck in this hospital in a country that wasn’t even his own for how long? And the fucking explosion—the damned dumbass ultimatum that got him here in the first place—.

Eventually, those thoughts subsided as the tranquilizer quickly set in and knocked him out. He had lost some of his muscle mass quickly because of how fast his body was trying to work to heal him, and the lack of the protein driven meals he was used to having and constant workouts. 

Other moments included him opening up to her about the dreams, thoughts, and anxieties he now had. She listened to him from the comfortable chair next to his bed. By this time, he was able to be in the wheelchair, feeling enough support in his legs to move from one space to another, but still tired him out every time. 

He hated that too—how tired he was. 

Needless to say, the two were close. So close, Ben would think in his alone time, that something was happening between them. The way she handled herself with him was admirable, since she held her own ground with his snide and sarcastic comments. It reminded him of Kaydel, the girl who lived down his street when he was in school. 

He hoped she was okay and received his last letter. 

Talissen would pick out his outfits every day for him and assist him with changing. She helped him with the little things for so long, and got close to him in ways he would never allow anyone else to be. And she did it all with a quirky smirk that made his heart flutter relentlessly. 

—  
April 2009

Tallissen and Ben made their way down the hall to the physical therapy wing of the facility. She pushed him at a moderate pace, and listened to his consistent musings on how he would be able to walk again soon. Her eyes rolled at them before she snickered. “In your dreams, Casanova,” she teased. 

“What? You don’t think Doctor Phillip can get me up and active again soon?” His head was turned so he could hear her better from behind his shoulder. 

“We make this trek every day, Ben. And every day, you comment about how you’ll be walking soon enough.”

“Just because I’m hopeful doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Wouldn’t you rather me be walking than having to push me everywhere? Wherever my wildest whims wish?”

“I don’t mind the workout,” she smirked. “It means that I’m starting to become stronger than you., and I will overthrow you.”

Ben’s mouth dropped open at the burn. “Ouch. I really felt that one.”

“I know,” Tallissen chuckled, pushing him onward to their destination. 

They both continued talking and laughing like usual, it being more Tallissen who found everything the older man said humorous. It wasn’t until they had made it to the breezeway adjacent to the zen garden, which sat peacefully behind large glass windows in the middle of the building, allowing the sunlight to radiate in. 

Ben spoke after a moment of silence as they both gazed longingly to the blissful space. “What do you plan to do after this, Tal?” Ben had taken up a nickname for her, claiming her official name was way too much of a mouthful. 

The young girl shrugged. “I don’t know,” she sighed lightly. “My dream is to become a pilot. I want to soar through the skies,” she gushed. “See the green earth below me, blue sky ahead, and no end in sight.”

“Wow,” Ben chuckled, turning his head to look back at her from where she was pushing him. “Sounds like something you got from a Nicholas Sparks novel, you think?”

She smirked. “Read them, have you?” Ben scoffed, turning his head back away from her, disgruntled at her accusation. 

“What’s it to you?”

“Your dumb ass comment,” Tallissen responded. “And to see just how much of a mush bucket you are deep down in that stone cold heart or yours.” 

The man rolled his eyes. “I am not a grossly hopeless romantic, unlike yourself. I’m the right amount of romantic that I am required to be.”

Tallissen’s jaw dropped. “When have I ever demonstrated my ungodly obsession with romance?”

Ben quirked a brow. “Please. Have you even read the books you’ve landed to me? They’ve all got a hidden romantic plot. So do try and tell me again how you are just as much as a sap as Nicholas Sparks.”

Tallissen stopped his chair suddenly, walking around to stand in front of him with her arms crossed. “So what if I am? What if I do like to read things about romance?”

“Then it obviously implies that you’re not getting any. Most satisfied people don’t read books on how getting fucked feels, physically and emotionally, to fictional characters.”

Tallissen gaped at him “That is absolutely not why I read those books, and it never will be. And also,” she huffed frustratingly. “I get by well on that regard, thank you.” She put her hand on her hips eyes narrowing at the cocky bastard in her sight. “It’s not like I’ve heard about any of that on your end.”

His eyes just gazed upon her smugly. “That’s because I don’t have time for it. If I did, I wouldn’t be in this position, more than likely.” He watched as she shifted her weight slightly. “And it’s not like you’ve been going home to a lover or anything.”

She gasped. “What says you?”

He cocked his head to the side slightly. “Really? You’ve been with me nearly every day for the last three months. That includes day shifts and some night shifts.”

“So? You’re my responsibility right now—my job. I have to make sure you don’t choke on your own tongue while you’re sleeping.”

“And for that, I’m grateful,” he grinned. 

“What are you trying to say?” 

“It just seems like you’re living your own Sparks novel.”

To that, Tallissen’s face went scarlet. Damn him and his wretched teasing. Damn him for how much he meant to her. Damn him for that bloody grin of his and that sparkle in his eye. 

“I am not,” she huffed. 

“You definitely are,” he chuckled, fingers twitching slightly. 

“Well, it doesn’t help with the bloody likes of you urging it on,” she hissed, turning her back to him and staring down the curved breezeway. 

“I never said it was a terrible thing, Tal,” Ben tried to reconcile, attempting to use his weakened, numb right hand to roll his chair closer to her. “Come on, you know I absolutely treasure any moment I get to tease you.”

“Yeah,” Tallissen sighed dishearteningly. “I know, but sometimes you’re the worst.”

Ben laughed, a sound that thoroughly pleased Tallissen’s ears. Something he had begun to do more often since he’d been awake and well on his way to healing. She grinned slightly as she felt his hand touch hers. Her eyes looked down to her hand, which he took in the hand he was slowly regaining control of—though very briefly. 

“I know I’m the worst,” he admitted, looking up to her sincerely. “But I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t like you, Tal.”

Giving him a warm, closed smile, her other hand went down to brush some of his growing hair back from his face. “I know.”

“Can we sit here for a minute?” His eyes continued to gaze at her, longing riddled within those honey-brown eyes she adored so much, even when they were spotted with red. 

“You’re going to be late for your session, Ben,” Talissen frowned. 

“I’m going to be in this place for a long while,” he said with an exhale of a long breath. “There’ll be more sessions to get to, but not enough days where the sun shines quite like this.” Turning his head, he peered through the glass of the zen garden, observing how the spring breeze made the greenery and botany sway back and forth. 

Tallissen followed his line of sight and let her shoulders drop with defeat. He was right, the day was beautiful, and he was bound to these facility walls day-in and day-out. It couldn’t hurt to be a little behind? She had rolled him out of his room quite early, as they both needed to get out of his space or else they would have went stir crazy. They claimed it as a walk, which it was—a proactive walk to his physical therapy session, which took nearly thirty minutes, back and forth. 

Her fingers felt the cool metal of the mechanical fingers attached to the peace he was required to wear. Despite it feeling more robotic than what it could be, it was his hand, the hand she held so many times when he was his angriest, his most depressed, his most frightened, and his most joyful within the last three months. 

“Sure. We’ve got nearly fifteen minutes.” 

Ben’s face split into a grin, a sight she loved to be on the receiving end of. It gave her butterflies and sent her thoughts skyrocketing to places she knew she shouldn’t go. Who knows how long he was going to stay, where he’s going to next. 

Maybe he was going to go somewhere she couldn’t follow. 

Tallissen squeezed Ben’s hand gently, mindful of the damage and the metal brace he currently sported. She let go slowly before returning back behind his chair to push him to a better of the zen garden she had discovered while working one day waiting for him to wake. Once she positioned him back next to the closest bench, she locked the wheels and proceeded to sit next to his chair. 

“Why did you choose the air to be your escape?” Ben still gazed ahead of him, watching how the sunlight shifted with each entrance of a cloud. 

“Being in the air is,” she paused to gush out the next word carefully. “Liberating. Freeing. No strings attached to anything.”

After another pause, she continued her thought. “A perfect way to fly away from all of life’s problems.”

At this, his eyes turned to her pretty face, which instantly had him studying the gentle features. The bridge of her nose swooped ever so slightly, and a little button for the ball of her nose. Her cheeks were sculpted, but ever so softly full, and her mouth. 

There was a perfect Cupid’s bow that rested gently underneath her nose, met by a plump bottom lip that gave her a natural pout when she wasn’t smirking at him. Wisps of her blonde hair surrounded her face, kissing the tanned skin that radiated warmth. 

She always had her hair in a perfectly fit messy bun at the base of her neck, though, when she stayed with him overnight, he asked her to let down the bun. 

Being the son of a woman who wore intricate braids of different sizes, Ben knew it wasn’t comfortable for sleeping. 

Today she was in light blue scrubs with speckles of multiple colors. It made him happy, reminding him of the shell of a dragon egg. 

His brown eyes, still studying the beautiful girl, squinted once he fully processed her words. With a sigh, she looked ahead at nothing. 

“Why,” he began, brow furrowing as he thought of the right words to ask. “Why do you feel like you need to run away from your problems?”

Tallissen hesitated before she replied, tucking one of her wisps of hair behind her ear shyly. “Because I feel that I’m stuck in some sort of whirling tornado that life has decided to keep me in.”

“That’s an Image,” he frowned. “What do you mean by it,” the twenty-two year old asked her. 

“I mean,” she dropped her hands frustratingly into her lap. “I’m nineteen years old, I’m stuck here as a bloody nurse, I have no idea who I am or what I want with my life, and—.”

The girl paused suddenly, which Ben took in stride, watching her silently. His interest piqued when he finally saw tears form in her eyes. 

“And I just lost my best friend.”

Ben’s gaze on her softened, brow crinkling in remorse. He knew exactly how she was feeling—the same dark and evil thoughts he was plagued with when he was eighteen—and even more so now. 

“Everything I’ve done in my life seems to have been defined because of her. Now that she’s gone,” her breath hitched at the phrase, “I don’t know what to do. And it’s absolutely stupid to think my life is defined by the people I share it with, but when you’re my age, it feels like a void when the person who made life so interesting for you is just, gone.” 

“I’m sorry you lost your friend,” he offered his sympathies to her. Talissen merely laughed it off bitterly, playing with the material of her scrubs. 

“I should have seen it coming, though,” she confessed, eyes now full of resentment, tone sharp like a knife. “But I was daft enough to get so attached and molding every part of who I am to her. Without her here,” blinking back stinging tears, her eyes, for the first time that Ben knew, looked empty. “I’m nothing.”

“Tal,” he tried to calm her. “I know how angry you feel. Trust me,” he looked at her with sincere, bright brown eyes. “I completely get it.”

She sniffled, using the heel of her palm to wipe away the tears in her eyes. “Yeah?”

“Well, yeah,” Ben chuckled with his famous grin. “If you take a look at me and remember why I’m here,” He gestured to himself sarcastically. Talissen giggled at that. “I just lost one of my men on my squad. One of my closest friends.”

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “I guess you did.” 

Ben debated on how personal he wanted to get with her. So, using his military instincts, he decided to pry first rather than to willing let his soft spots be on display. 

“What specifically makes you feel so undefined, Tal?” 

The girl remained silent for a long moment. It wasn’t until Ben raised his eyebrows at her, nudging her leg with his good right foot carefully. She grinned sadly, looking down at her clasped hands. 

“She was my best gal since we were in primary. We grew up together. We were the most boyish girls that lived in the area, and then, like a chrysalis, turned into the girliest girls.”

Her eyes sparkled when she talked about her friend, Ben noticed. “I adored everything about her—her spunk, how stubborn she was. Oh, she was an absolute rock sometimes, but she was driven. So creative, and tried her best to be happy despite her own troubles.”

“She sounds like a wonderful girl,” Ben mused. 

Tallissen hummed sadly. “She was.” 

A brief moment of silence overtook them before she spoke again. “I dreamed of what we could do together, the future we could have. Maybe learn to be pilots together, where she could paint something so extravagant on the side of my aeroplane, or even fix it up mechanically with her magic touch she always had,” she paused. “My friend was a work of art, really. Such a light even in her darkest place. Through the things we did, I felt like I found who I was. But now that I don’t have that—.”

“Maybe I was always just a mirror of her. No face, no personality. An absolute reflection.”

Ben reached that same hand out to hers, covering it the best he could from where it was in its resting position. 

Tallissen sniffled, tears beginning to stream down her face. “She wanted out. The sadness she felt was too overwhelming, and—.”

She couldn’t go on. Ben understood, inferring that her friend, that poor soul, had taken matters into her own hands, finding an escape when there was no other option. 

“I’m really sorry, Tal.” He looked at her with such care, wishing his body worked correctly so he could hug the girl until she wouldn’t feel so beside herself—so she wouldn’t feel alone. 

The young woman’s gaze was staring into the zen garden, and suddenly, even more tears welled in those crystal eyes he was so fond of. Turning his own eyes to where she was looking, he saw a single lily growing in the garden behind the glass. Another moment of silence before Ben decided to be the bravest he would ever have to be. 

“I lost my best friend, too, when I was eighteen.” He looked at her seriously, watching as the girl turned her gaze up to him.. 

“We called her Phas. And please, don’t ask me to tell you her full name, because my traumatized, damaged brain can’t compute the necessary functions to pronounce it.”

The girl laughed happily at that, making Ben smug at how easily he was able to bring back her smile. 

“Phas was the epitome of a female Amazon. I swear, she stood nearly three inches taller than me when we were in school, and knew how to fight anyone who stood in her way.”

“Good gracious,” Tallissen exhaled with wide eyes. Ben nodded with a huff of air. 

“Yeah. However, I wasn’t always this tattered piece of shredded meat you see before you.” Another laugh, and other smug grin. “Growing up, I was made fun of because of my ears—.”

“I can see why,” Tallissen chimed in, taking that moment to bush back his hair carefully to check the scarring. He cut her a side eye, to which she only smirked. 

“Anyway, Phas was that friend that had your back, if you gained her trust. I did, somehow in my pubescent years, and she stuck around. One night, she snuck out of the house and into an industrial site in my hometown. She started climbing up on the of the taller buildings—.”

“Why,” the girl interrupted with a befuddled expression, eyes still wet with tears. “Why would anyone with a mind think that’s a good idea, especially in the dark?”

“Let me finish,” he said with another side eye, holding up a hand to halt her persistency. “Geez, I’ve never met someone so impatient.” 

“Fucking Americans,” she muttered under her breath, her delicate, slender fingers fidgeting carefully with Ben’s. 

Ben shook his head, continuing on. “She went climbing and somehow slipped, falling about twenty feet down to the ground.”

Talissen’s eyes flew open even wider as her free hand went to cover her mouth. “Oh my goodness.”

“It,” Ben sighed. “Was a really bad time. My Dad, was called to help at the scene, and was the one to have to tell me.”

“I’m really sorry, Ben,” she said, sadness pouring from her eyes. “I didn’t know.”

“Of course,” he shrugged. “How could you have? I haven’t talked about it with anyone.”

“No one?”

“No,” he said shortly, refusing to look at her now, but down to their touching hands (that he unfortunately couldn’t feel). “And because of it, I decided to run away from my problems once I graduated school and dove headfirst into the arms of the military.”

Tallissen sat silently, looking upon his masculinely defined face. “You ran away?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I ran away from my family, who constantly made sure I was okay and tried to get me to open up. I made myself numb through my training and how I worked myself up to the rank of Corporal so quickly.”

“Wow,” she exhaled. 

“There’s a reason why I’m telling you this.” He turned his eyes back up to her. “Two actually.”

The young woman raised an eyebrow at him curiously. 

“Firstly,” he began, “it’s because I trust you. I haven’t told a soul about Phas, or how I feel about her death. No one in my life now has any idea of who I used to be.”

“And secondly,” he began again, “because I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I have. Running away from the problem doesn’t make us better people. It makes us cowards, and it changes us into someone we don’t know.” He blinked at her seriously. “By not facing my problems, I have suffered for the last five years, emotionally at war on top of all the other stress in my life. I don’t know what my parents are doing, nor if they know about my accident. I haven’t seen them, or the rest of my family in a couple of years because I haven’t had the courage to go home and face my fear of the heartbreak that had to happen.”

Tallissen recalled some of these facts from his darkest moments she had to talk him down from. When he sobbed, nearly screaming at the sounds of war filling his ears, he asked of his family in bewilderment. He cried for their safety when he thought there was explosions and danger all around him. She wasn’t sure if he remembered these things, but she did. His head rested on her chest that entire night, and they didn’t move. Ben rested peacefully in her warmth, in her surge of love from her heart she poured out for the young man. And thankfully, she rested well too. 

Someone had finally accepted the love she had to offer, and longed for it. 

There were other times that they found themselves like this. But those nights, unlike the others, he was aware of their actions. He wanted her touch, wanted her to pour into him like pure water. A refreshing drink, like an oasis in his dry desert. 

Suddenly, Ben was finally able to listen to his own words. This accident had changed him, especially his mental state as he now had to deal and process more than just the loss of a friend. Four months ago, he never would have found himself this level-headed—nearly this mentally clear. Of course, he still has episodes, more intense than ever before, but when he didn’t have them, he was finally at ease mentally. There was still a long journey to travel on, healing wise, but through his time here, he felt new. Like a rebirth. 

And he credited Tallissen for that, for helping him restore his humanity. 

She looked to him with a smile before leaning closer to his face to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. “You know, as someone as scruffy-headed, witty, and an outright pest, you can be a pretty,” she deliberated on the best choice of adjective, “nice guy.”

Ben chuckled lowly. “I’m a nice guy,” he said, leaning in closer to her, eyes watching her lips carefully. Then suddenly, before either of them could realize, they both had moved closer and closed the remaining distance between them. She kissed him, warm and passionately against his lips. Hers were plump and even better than Ben imagined them to be. He felt her hand move to his cheek in such a longing way that made him feel wanted. 

He didn’t know if it was just the heat of the moment, or the built up affections the two had for the other, but he allowed himself to dwell in their kiss. It had been so long since he had felt this kind of emotion—the thrill, the heart racing for something other than combat, the connection between people despite only knowing her, consciously, for a little over three months. 

But he would kiss her every day if he could. He would hold her body in his hands, whatever of it he could feel, and lay with her forever if she wanted. The girl was a crystal, sparking bright in his dark cave, and he longed to keep it for himself. It was greedy of him, for the girl had so many other options of potential suitors out there in the great wide world. Men who weren’t broken and damaged like he was. Someone who was sane and willing to soar in that big sky of hers. 

Ben knew deep down he couldn’t soar, not after all of this—not like she wanted. He had hung up his helmet when that explosive went off. His running away was over; he needed his family more than ever now. Stability and control is what he desperately needed right now. 

And she needed to be set free. 

But this wasn’t a moment that was going to define her future. Ben was nearly one hundred percent positive that he would do everything he could to get her to leave this place, leave him behind, so she could find the person she truly was. Tallissen Lintra needed to get out of this hole and take a risk—a leap of faith—to discover her identity. 

And man, did that set the fire back alight in Ben’s heart. 

They finally pulled away slowly, foreheads pressed together as they tried to calm their racing hearts. Talissen’s eyes were closed, but he was watching her with such adoration before she tore herself apart from his touch. 

“You’re late for your therapy,” she said with a smirk, standing up from where she sat on the bench next to him. He only hummed, nodding is head slightly, allowing her to rerun back to her job as nurse happily. 

“If they ask, just tell them my catheter got stuck and you had to take matters into your own hands.” Ben returned the smirk as he felt her sudden embarrassment, chuckling to himself as she resumed her duty of escorting him to his therapy session. 

—

Later that night, Ben was laying causally in his bed, where he found himself every evening after eight, or twenty hundred hours. His left arm, which had been switched to a different supportive brace from the cast, was now resting behind his head as he stared down at his right hand. The television was playing some sort of British news segment that he didn’t really care about. His attention was fixated on his attempts at moving his fingers. Slowly, the ability to move them again was returning, which Ben was entirely grateful for, but the seeking of the smooth sheets they rested upon were nothing to him. 

His heart made a painful twinge whenever he thought of touching Tallissen. Their touch was nothing but pressure underneath his fingertips; no raw, vulnerable feelings ran through him from that hand’s touch because it was so numb. But when he began to use his left, the whole world buzzed, colors were vivid and vibrating. The air was clear. 

And Tallissen was radiant. 

With a sigh, he halted his efforts and turned his gaze back to the television. Nothing pained him more than his inability to do what he wanted. 

After about an hour, there was a knock on his door. Shifting his head, he allowed the visitor to enter with a deep voice. The door pushed open slowly, revealing the girl that couldn’t leave his mind. 

Ben had never seen her the way she looked now. She was in a simple pink dress that stopped just above her knees. It ruffled at the bottom, and buttoned down the front, like a dress shirt. Her hair was loose, clean, and in sandy-blonde waves. She was leaning against the doorframe, looking at him complacently as her arms were crossed over her chest, one foot crossed over the other. 

The man on the bed merely blinked, lips parting slightly as he took in her appearance. It was so much different than her scrubs—so real, so Talissen. 

“Hey, Casanova,” she greeted with a grin. Ben reflected her expression. 

“Hey,” he said simply. 

Slowly, she leaned up from place and stepped into the room. Closing the door behind her, she turned back to him and approached the side of his bed. He reached out that same right hand, desperate to feel something, but was disappointed when their hands met. Yet it wasn’t nearly enough to make him melancholy. 

“Thank you for staying tonight,” he murmured only to her, his sheepish way of expressing his gratitude. “This is a new look.”

“I’d hope so,” she laughed, looking down to her dress while she held onto his hand. “If you thought I looked like this every day, then I probably would need you to be scanned for another concussion.”

Ben chuckled, head tilted up to her as he gazed fondly. “As long as you were the one talking to me through the speaker.”

“Who else would be willing to combat that firing weapon of a mouth?”

The man shook his head. “I’m not that bad.”

“No,” Talissen agreed, bringing up her other hand to brush back his dark hair from his face. “You’re not that bad.”

With a grin, Ben’s left hand moved from behind his head to take hers that was near his face, and pulled her closer. Their lips met once more, and this time, Ben was thankful that it was in the sanctuary of his own room. The lamps gave the hospital suite a warm, yellow hue, making it cozy and comfortable for them to be alone together. 

They kissed for a moment, a moment longer than they did in the breezeway. This time was different. They both felt free to express their affections for each other, in the privacy of Ben’s room, where they were just the two of them, not patient and nurse. And now, it felt like they were more than just friend and friend. 

Tallissen pulled back with a grin before she bit her bottom lip. A flash of heat ran through Ben’s body, which he was still gaining entire sensation of, and he huffed out a breathy laugh before he spoke to her. 

“Put your stuff down and join me.” 

She did as she was asked, walking over to the comfortable chair next to the end table by the bed. Lowering her bag down gently, she ran a hand through her hair before reaching down into the object that held her things for the night. Ben raised an eyebrow suspiciously as he watched her, taking in each of her smooth movements. And what she pulled out nearly sent him rolling off the bed in laughter. 

In her hand was a Nicholas Sparks novel, “Dear John,” and gave him the most mischievous smile she could muster. His laugh rang in her ear like a sweet song, and it made her heart flutter in her chest. He had pressed his head back further into the bed, left hand covering his eyes and a smile plastered on his face.

“Seriously, Tal?” When he had finally calmed down, and she was at his bedside, he looked up at her with a humorous expression. “This is what you’d like for us to do tonight?”

“Absolutely,” Tallissen giggled, lowering herself down onto the mattress. Ben moved his nerve-damaged arm to give her more space to lay with him. “Given our discussions today, I feel it’s important that we divulge ourselves into this world of cheesy romance.”

“Are you going to read it to me?”

“No, you’re going to read it to me.”

“I’m what?”

With a smirk, she continued. “You heard me, Bookworm. You’re going to read this to me. I know you well enough to know you’re a character yourself, so prepare to embody every character in this novel.”

“And ‘Dear John’ is the most appropriate, given that I am—,” he paused to correct himself, “was a soldier?”

“Ah, so someone has read this novel.”

“Just give me the book and c’mere,” he grunted, hand waiting impatiently for the object. Tallissen giggled maniacally as she crawled onto the mattress, minding his delicate condition as she cuddled into his warm side. This time, it was his turn to hold her, which was something Talissen had never truly experienced before. It was nice. It was wonderful. 

It was something she knew was going to tear her apart. 

Exhaling a heavy, dramatic breath of air, Ben held the boom open with his right hand, the arm that was holding the young girl in his embrace, and turned to the beginning with his left. Reading aloud to someone was something he never in his life thought he’d be doing, but he knew it made the girl happy. 

—

They were halfway through the novel when Tallissen has dived way too deep into her own thoughts. Ben was still reading, now engaged in the writing as he criticized every cliche and stereotype, and possible mistake in the life of someone in the Armed Forces, in his opinion. However, in one of the more boring chapters, the young girl began thinking. 

Suddenly consumed by her thoughts, she interrupted the man’s reading by sitting up slowly, a hand still placed on his chest. 

“Ben” she murmured in the small space they had created. The older man turned his brown eyes from the book up to her curiously, allowing himself to stop reading for a moment. 

“Yes?”

She released a disheartened breath, fingers fumbling with the material of his thin, black cotton shirt. “Do you know when you’re scheduled to leave?”

Ben’s brow furrowed slightly. “No. I’ve got no plans to leave until I am strong enough to survive on my own.”

“Do you know when that’ll be?”

His eyes widened for a moment before transitioning into one of amusement. “Well, gracious, Tal. I don’t know. You’re the one with medical training. Do you know when that’ll be?” 

The girl flushed furiously, hair falling to drape over one shoulder as she refused to meet his gaze. “Not entirely. But your doctors believe you’ll be there or somewhere close by June.” 

Ben nodded slowly, shutting the book and laying it on the bed next to him. “Why has this crossed your mind?”

She shrugged innocently. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just thinking about—,” she stopped, not daring to ruin anything that was between them both currently. 

“About?”

“You know,” she tilted her head to the side slightly, drawing a pattern against his chest distractedly.”

“About us,” Ben responded, less in question and more of a statement. Tallissen’s chin dipped slightly, indicating that he was correct. 

“Yeah,” she whispered. 

His eyes stared at her steadily. “What,” he paused, growing frustrated at how difficult forming the right words to say was. Tallissen’s blue eyes jumped up to his, a knowing look in them. 

“I know,” she stated. 

“What makes you worried about—about us,” Ben tried cautiously, finally providing the most mediocre way to express his thought. 

She continued to look upon his face, that glorious face she had watched heal from being bruised and bloody to nearly pristine. His eyes were as bright as ever, but he was tired. So tired, and so frustrated by how slow he was progressing. It made her heart hurt. 

Oh, how she would spend forever nursing him back to health if she could. 

“It’s just,” she took a breath before finding the strength to let him into her thoughts. “In the last several weeks of knowing you—you, and not your physical person who laid here fighting for your life—I have seen the world in such a different way.”

Ben’s brow furrowed as he listened to what she had to say, reaching for her hand on his chest to provide a support to get her through what was troubling her. 

“What I said earlier, about being a reflection of her, it’s true. When she,” Tallissen paused, squeezing her eyes closed. “After she was gone, I felt alone. So invaluable, so worthless. How could she leave me?”

“Tal,” Ben said sadly. “What happened wasn’t your fault—.”

“I know that. But, for a while, I wasn’t me. In fact, I didn’t know who ‘me’ was. Who ‘Tallissen’ is. She was no one, no personality, no distinguishable qualities, but a head full of dreams that would never come true. Until you.”

Her eyes were serious, solemnly fixated on him. “The minute you started with that sarcastic mouth of yours, I don’t know what it was, but something was natural in the way I responded.”

The man chuckled fondly. “I remember. It was the first time you called me ‘Casanova,’ and if I ‘kissed my mother with that mouth.’”

Talissen smiled. “Because you were downright ornery!”

“You’d be too if you woke up without the full mobility of your body, and no idea where you were.”

“Fair.” She grinned, continuing with her thoughts. “But after tending to you, I felt like I was finally discovering who I was.”

Ben grinned in return, “Tallie,” he modified the nickname he gave her. “You have always been a person in my eyes. You may not see it because of how hurt you are from losing your friend, but you do leave your own streak on this world, like the tail of a comet as it shoots through the sky.”

“I do?”

“Of course you do,” Ben exclaimed, giving her an amused look. “The way you snipped right back at me without even hesitating is, oh, so distinguishable from many nurses I have encountered in my life. Young caretakers never smart back like you have to me.”

The flush returned back to Talissen’s cheeks violently. 

“But the reason why I never complained is because I admire that about you; that’s you, not your friend. And the way you hopelessly try to read a book on your breaks but fail miserably because of how overwhelmed you are—that’s you. The way you,” he rolled his eyes with a grunt, “fold the corners of every damn page in your books because you can only get a page at a time.”

A giggle erupted from the young girl, who shyly brushed her hair behind her ear. 

“That’s all you, too. I could sense the kind of person you are, who is hardworking and barely has the time to allow yourself to get lost in a world very different from this one. Because you take care of others before yourself.”

Talissen stared at him bewilderedly, lips parting slightly. “How did you—?”

“Because I’m good like that,” Ben answered, interrupting her to bring her hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the smooth skin there. “I have a way of reading people, Tal.”

“You don’t think you deserve to have your own moment of bliss—of a life similar to fiction—because you feel the need to constantly make sure others are satisfied. From what I infer,” he looked at her curiously, but knowingly, “you want to ensure that others are content so they won’t leave in some way. Which stems from the loss of your friend.” 

After a moment, he raised himself up from where he was reclined, to which Tallissen immediately went to assist him as she heard him grunt in slight pain and the amount of effort he applied. Once he was upright, he kept himself close to her, looking down to her lips before flickering his gaze to her eyes. Breathless, from still recovering, he continued. 

“You’ve shown me who you are time and time again,” he mused, mouth inching closer to hers. “You don’t need me to help you discover that.

Tallissen released a shaky breath, eyes full of something that Ben could feel her body nearly tremble with. “But I want you to.”

Her hands reached for his face as her lips crashed against his. Instantly, Ben’s hands went to steady her waist as she leaned up on her knees, hovering over the taller man. His head was tilted up to hers as their mouths moved in such lustful motions. They both hungered for physical touch. Ben felt absolutely wretched for wanting the touch of someone—anyone, for he had closed himself off of that primitive side, and Talissen was the first one in several years to awaken that libido inside of him. Tallissen, though, craved to be wanted, to please someone. She desired to do whatever she could to make the ones she loved stay in her life. 

But tonight, they were both consumed with the fervor that they let harbor between them for way too long. 

Her lips broke from Ben’s with a small gasp before she moved to tease the skin against his neck. Ben groaned pleasurably, applying pressure to where he grasped onto the girl’s curved hip. 

“Tal,” he rasped. “I don’t know how I’m going to do this,” another grunt, “without the full use of my body.”

“Don’t worry,” she purred between sloppy kisses to his neck. “I know what to and not to do. I’ll help you.”

Ben shifted his lower body underneath her. “Why? Because you do this with all your male patients?”

“No—because I save lives, Casanova.” 

The man chuckled lowly, remembering a raunchy saying that some of his men would joke around with. “Save lives—ride a cowboy instead.”

“Saddle up, Solo,” she rasped deeply. With that comment, Ben’s hands raised to her head, where her teeth bit into his fair skin hungrily, and returned her swollen lips to his. As he did, her hands worked their way beneath their faces. His body stiffened as he felt her touch (even though it was the smallest of sensations), and he shuddered beneath her wrangling fingers. His mouth moved mercilessly against hers, tongue sliding against her lip to pull it between his teeth. 

A whimper escaped the girl as her hips swiveled at the extremely hot feeling that coursed through her. Eventually, Talissen managed to get Ben situated—and somehow, with a condom that bewildered him in the hottest of ways—to where he was fully exposed. His catheter had been removed some time ago, which he was so thankful for, and grateful it wasn’t inserted in a time like this. Her hands began to stroke his cock once he was moved into a comfortable position, which sent an intense wave of ecstasy to the pit of his stomach, the first and strongest feeling he had felt in so long. And it felt so, so fucking good. 

Ben groaned deeply against her mouth, feeling her lips purse into a smirk. Her arms went to wrap around his neck once she finished, allowing her hands to tangle themselves in his dark locks. He was forced to tilt his head up to her as his own digits trailed down the thin material of her dress, sending shivers down her spine. The throb in her groin ached for his touch—for him. Ben could sense this and effectively used his expertise to his advantage. 

He used his left hand, the one without the mechanical brace, to loop his finger around the material of her thong—that he could only assume she wore just for him. A smirk formed as his lips caressed hers greedily. His fingertips grazed down the cloth string to where her thigh met the outside of her pussy, teasing her ravenously until she was trembling. After hearing her whimpers become more desperate, he finally slid down her underwear past her knees. She helped him by kicking them off once he could no longer reach, which caused him to chuckle at her clumsy efforts. 

Once she finished, she moved herself, carefully, but impatiently to straddle his waist, hovering herself just above his hard, throbbing erection. 

Slowly, she lowered herself as she gripped onto his strong shoulders, feeling him, genuinely, for the first time. She glided down into him with a quick and frenzied gasp, which he returned with a groan and series of curses. His right hand held onto her to the best of its ability while the other assisted her, providing her the right support to give her the most pleasure possible. 

And that’s what they did with their night, providing each other with something that itched in the back of their minds. Ben gave her what he knew she needed—not to show her who she was, but to prove how satisfied and content she made him, just by being herself. Eventually, his muscular arms came to wrap around her waist, chin pressed against her shoulder as they moved slowly together in the hazy glow of the room. 

Little did he know then that this would be a monumental memory he would battle the morality of years later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:-D
> 
> Hi all!
> 
> ...I know what it looks like, but I promise it will all make sense. 
> 
> I hope you at least enjoyed the small glimpse into Ben’s past, and why he is able to coach Rey through the more difficult parts of life. 
> 
> More to come, which I will post very soon! Hang on tight, because I’m nowhere close to done!
> 
> ...if it is some comfort to you, remember that Rey loves lilies. <3
> 
> All my love! X


	31. The Projectionist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When I was young I fell in love with story,  
> With the eleventh hour, with the blaze of glory.
> 
> The theater lights dim and all goes quiet.  
> In the darkest of rooms, light shines the brightest.
> 
> When hands are tied and clocks are ticking,  
> An audience convinced: we’re leaning in,  
> Holding our breath again.
> 
> Just when we thought the game was over  
> The music lifts and our dying solider lives!  
> And we breathe a sigh of relief.
> 
> We’re leaving, we’re leaving our shadows behind us now”  
> —The Projectionist; Sleeping At Last
> 
> —
> 
> In 2009, Ben’s healing journey isn’t his moment of grace, but eventually, someone comes in to take control of his uncontrollable.

June 2009

It was truly summer now at the hospital in London. The sun had decided to shine more often than Talissen had ever seen it, which she blamed it on the light that Ben had brought into her life. Since that late night in April where they passionately expressed their feelings to one another, it had become a regular thing. Something very causal that the two of them looked forward to often. Tallissen enjoyed coming to work every day, to take care of the person who made her feel so important. And Ben, he was finally feeling content to stay in the hospital as long as necessary. 

His left arm had finally healed completely and was able to be removed from any brace. However, his right hand had not properly gained all mobility nor feeling, but he could use it better than before. Grabbing onto objects was now under his belt like it used to be, but lifting objects heavier than ten pounds was severely difficult. 

If anything disappointed him most, it was that. And the fact that he was stuck in the chair. 

The full motor function of his body had still yet to be controlled, which his doctors thought would have been a successful recovery by now. His left foot was healing, but the nerves in his right leg were still causing numbness, and now, an intense fiery pain to shoot up his entire side. Anything that touched it nearly left him blind with pain, which made tending to Talissen more difficult, but utterly worth the challenge. Using crutches was a no, as his right hand couldn’t decipher if he was grabbing the handle or not. So, as displeased as he was, Ben remained wheelchair bound for the time being. 

Now, he began to suffer from terrorizing headaches daily. He was instructed by an optometrist to wear a pair of glasses that focused his vision down a tad until his concussion and brain trauma had completely healed. Despite doing so well by April, there had been a significant decline in his overall well-being in the following two months. 

Ben was so tired anymore. During the day, he slept so much due to the amount of pain he was fighting through. He refused sedations like morphine because he knew it wouldn’t be long until he became resistent to. Like the soldier he was, he fought through everything, which took a toll on him, physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

His breakdowns were more frequent, due to the throbbing in his head and the despair he felt in his heart. Tallissen did all she could to make him feel as safe as possible, but there was no end to how much turmoil he was enduring. She would brush her hand through his damp hair, due to the fevers he would break into, and the tremors he experienced from the pain. A cool washcloth was on the back of his neck constantly now, and the monitored his breathing and heart rate once again, on top of taking blood samples frequently for changes in white blood cell counts. 

She would never admit it, but seeing him decline so suddenly terrified the life out of her. He was doing so well months ago as things were finally progressing and he felt better and better with each day. But somehow, something in his body seemed to snap, creating a whole new plethora of problems. In late May, there was a week where he consistently vomited due to the intense nausea he endured, the fever persisted inducing chills that left him ravaged the day that followed. 

Ben was eventually diagnosed with appendicitis a few days later when Tallissen finally watched him suffer for too long. He was taken into emergency surgery for removal of his inflamed appendix. Talissen returned to helping other patients briefly, but couldn’t get her mind off of the man who was in the middle of an operation. 

It may be a common surgery that a lot of people have done, but that’s a full hour under severe anesthesia and a sharp knife and out of her care. 

When they returned him to his room, the color of his skin had finally returned back to its normal pink undertones rather than the pasty white he has slowly turned. He was sleeping soundly with an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth, and looked the most peaceful that Talissen had ever seen him. Once her colleagues left, she rushed over to his side to brush his dark hair back, which she would help wash later when he felt better. She stayed at his bedside the entire day until he finally regained consciousness, mainly because of how tired his body had become. Deep down, the girl hoped that this would be the last of his troubles and he could finally get to feeling better. 

—

Sitting in his wheelchair, Ben reclined back with his left hand brought to his bottom lip, playing with it subconsciously as he studied the chess board in front of him. He had taught Tallissen to play a week ago and it’s all she wanted to do when it was her shift to work. She ran out of books to provide, so this was his next best form of entertainment that wasn’t an endless supply of mind-numbing movies and random bouts of reckless sex. They were outside in warm June sunshine, which was a wonderful change from the tan walls of his room. 

“Mister Solo,” another nurse called from the door to the outside patio. He and the young girl across from him looked up at the older woman instantly. She gave him a smile. 

“You have a visitor.”

Ben’s brow furrowed. “A visitor? Here, in London?” He looked back over to the girl. “I assumed my squad returned home, or went back to active-duty.”

Tallissen merely shrugged, taking a piece and knocking over one of his on the board. “You’re the only military man I’m responsible for, Corporal.” The man gave her an embittered look before turning his gaze back to the older nurse. 

“Tell them I’ll be ready in a second. I’ll have Nurse Lintra bring them to my room when I’m ready,” he replied causally with a grateful grin to the woman, who nodded happily and returned inside the facility. The younger nurse had begun to put away the board and chess pieces back into the box while he was talking to her. 

“I hope you remember how we were set up, because whenever I’m finished with my visitation, I’m going to royally dominate you.”

“I surely hope so, and I don’t mean that in regards to the game,” Tallissen purred a smirk under her breath, dropping the box into his lap. Ben huffed out a breath of air as a corner of the box hit him in his groin and a sensitive part of his thigh, grunting as he heard her laugh as she started pushing his chair into the building. 

Once he got settled back into his room, he sent Talissen to go retrieve his guest, to which she replied, “Yes, your Worship.”

Ben rolled his eyes at the the girl who he shared his bed with so causally. Since the loss of his grandmother, he went off the deep end with his once rigid morals. While he was on active-duty and traveling abroad, he had his share of flings, which his mother would grievously beat his ass over if she ever found out. But never had he found one to keep around so tediously, especially when it was inadvisable to do so from her perspective as his caretaker. 

The two of them did feel something for the other, but neither of them would say it aloud, mainly in fear that there would be even more attachment—if there could even be more than the emotional tethering from fucking around. There was a connection, but it was something he had become concerned about. 

He feared that she would grow to care too much for him, and when it was time for him to go—whenever the hell that would be—, she wouldn’t accept it so easily. They had discussed not letting themselves grow too attached because his stay was short-term. The moment the doctors told him he was okay to leave, he was going home. Home, home. 

And that meant without her. 

It made him feel like an absolute louse for being her friend with benefits. The thought of him using her for a good lay he hadn’t received in a while nearly made him sick. He never wanted to be that person, something he stood against as a young boy and tried to dissuade his friends from actively pursuing. 

But who was he kidding, he had become a hypocrite to everything he once believed in and preached.   
However, this accident brought about a fresh start for him, and he was going to fix it. 

Looking absentmindedly out the window, a knock sounded in his ear. When he turned his gaze, the person he was not prepared to see made his eyes widen and lips part slightly. 

There, in the doorway to his room, was his grandfather, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his torso. He was in a gray button up with dark dress pants, and the matching blazer folded over his arm. His hair was still the length Ben knew it to be, except now was growing gray as he aged. The same smirk he always had resided on his face as he took in his grandson’s appearance. 

“It took long enough to finally get ahold of you, Soldier,” he said casually. Ben’s eyes were wide as he stared at the older man. 

“How—How did—?”

“What?” Anakin looked at him knowingly. “You thought that playing around in my sandbox was the best way to keep yourself away from us?”

Ben was silent. He knew Anakin was once in the military. In fact, he was a General. General Skywalker, one of the best pilots in the United States Air Force. Of course, if anyone knew how to find Ben the best, it was someone who knew kind of life he was living—and knew what the protocol was for those injured on the field. 

And regardless, Anakin knew him better than anyone. But how in the hell did the man find him—and why so late?

Anakin stepped inside the room, gesturing to the comfortable chair Tallissen usually took to. “May I sit?”

“Yeah, of course,” Ben stammered, trying to preposition himself carefully in his own chair. 

“You don’t have to act all professional with me, Kid,” Anakin winked, lowering himself down into the chair. “I’m here to talk to my grandson, not whatever ignorant and arrogant asshole you’ve made yourself to be.” 

Ben’s could only stare with a wounded expression at the man who entered his room, the person he admired more than life itself, who had the nerve and set of balls to call him out. 

“I’ve read your file,” Anakin added causally, looking at the pitiful man sitting across from him. “You’ve been pretty busy over the last four years, I noticed.” 

His grandfather hummed as he awaited Ben’s response. 

“Yes,” Ben replied meekly.

“Traveling—the wonderful part of deployment; engaging in the renewal of alliances; finally becoming a physical man through your training.” The man paused before he continued with what would wound Ben even further. “Infiltrating defenseless cities with those animalistic men who can’t distinguish between fun and inhumane?”

Anakin’s gaze was sharp, his piercing blue eyes seething with anger. Yet somehow, his voice remained calm.

“They were my responsibility to train,” Ben defended. “Eventually, I got them under control.”

“Eventually, Ben,” Anakin discouraged. “Eventually doesn’t make up for the lives that were lost due to their reckless behavior.” 

Ben looked down to his hands, shamefully stretching out the hand that was still in the brace. Anakin noticed this and pressed the man further. 

“Did it even register to you how many lives were lost in your name, Kid?”

Ben hesitated before shaking his head, dark hair bouncing with the motion and eyes still downcast. Ben knew the exactly the incident he was referring to. One of his deepest regrets; one of his most haunting memories that paralyzed him in guilt and terror at night. 

His heart hurt. The never-ending tightness clenched in his chest. Breathing was rapidly becoming more difficult and his good hand clenched in a tight fist. Anger. His deep-rooted, violent, white anger. It never went away, and he gave into it so easily.

“Several civilians,” his grandfather began to list. “Mothers, fathers, children. Many who were left without sisters, brothers, a family—.”

“I didn’t give that order,” Ben hissed, that hot anger finally boiling up from the deepest pit in his chest. His eyes no longer saw his grandfather, but instead, he saw his anger transform into a new state—red. 

“I never instructed them to fire on that city.”

The older man sat in the chair silently, waiting for the boy to simmer. His eyes squinted curiously at Ben, clearly making judgements that he was bound to profess. “But they did it anyway. And since you were their leader, it instantly became your responsibility—your worst mistake.”

“They didn’t listen to me,” Ben nearly yelled, his voice low and raspy as he tried to even out his breathing. “You don’t know what happened.”

“Control yourself, Benjamin,” Anakin commanded in his authoritative voice he had developed over years of leading and being a parent. “Your anger will get you nowhere, as it has before.”

Ben’s hands came up to cover his face as he took several deep breaths, the anger now taking the form of choked sobs. He tried so hard to keep himself under control, but the memory was hard. His brain couldn’t process it. It constantly played before his eyes and terrified him—upset him so much that he would scream, thrash, and lose all sense of reality as the visions played out. It was like he was trapped in the deepest part of Hell, where his greatest sin was his eternal punishment. 

Anakin rose from the chair he was resting in approached the broken boy’s chair. Squatting down slowly, he moved Ben’s hands from his face in order for him to breathe fully without obstruction. Then, he put his older hands on the side of the boy’s head, and pressed their foreheads together. 

Ben peeked his eyes open, absolute horror riddled in those pools of honey. Anakin was looking at him steadily, ready to coach him through the his panic. 

“Breathe, Ben,” he said simply, the tone of his voice the same that his grandson heard all his life. The voice that belonged to the greatest man in the world in Ben’s eyes. A sound that resonated such a strength and passion he never heard anywhere else. 

His grandfather was there. His grandfather came for him. He was going to be okay. He was safe now. 

Grandy was here. 

“Grandy,” Ben choked out pitifully, left hand going out to grasp the fabric of the man’s gray shirt. Anakin pulled his head back, shifting his weight to one knee as he kneeled, pulling the weak kid into his arms protectively. There, Ben collapsed into harder sobs, trembling with the shock from the triggering moment, and the joy he felt from finally being rescued. Someone had control of his life that was spiraling by the day. 

“I’m here, Kid,” Anakin soothed, pressing his cheek to the top of Ben’s dark head of hair, that same head he had constantly held when the young man was just a child. Memories of when Ben would hurt himself or searched for Anakin in times of distress played in the grandfather’s mind. How sweet were those days when that boy was Ben, their gentle and curious boy who had the mind of a Greek philosopher with the heart of a lion. Where did those days go? 

Tears sprang into Anakin’s eyes unwillingly, and he tried his hardest to remain composed for the weeping man in his arms. His grandson might be the side of a grown male, but he was still a boy. A youngling that had witnessed too much heartbreak at such a young age.

And now, he was merely a child behind a mask. The mask of someone he forced himself to become. 

“I’ve got you. You’re safe,” crooned Anakin, moving a hand to caress the back of Ben’s head soothingly. As Ben had his head pressed against his grandfather’s chest, he felt the steady pulse of the older man’s heart, that had experienced life nearly to its fullest. Eventually, the steady thumb of the man’s heartbeat calmed him down and set his mind back to stillness. 

“How’ve you been,” Anakin asked the sniffling boy, the one he always knew to be so shy when he knew he was in trouble. 

“Not well.” Ben swallowed the lump in his throat. “I got really sick a couple of weeks ago. Had an appendectomy; I still can’t walk; there’s severe pain in my right side constantly, and my hand is still useless.”

Anakin hummed quietly. “Your doctors informed me of what all was going on. That’s why I had to come.”

Ben pulled himself back carefully, grunting with the sharp pain that shot us from his nerve-damaged side. His brow was furrowed, eyes bleary and red as he stared at his grandfather. “How—How did you find me?”

Anakin chuckled, brushing back the hair that was stuck to Ben’s crinkled forehead. “I have my ways. I may be old now, but my influence extends pretty far.” 

“But it took you six months?”

The man sighed. “They withheld so much information from any of us, Ben. If I had known the day you were transported here from Afghanistan, you would have been home months ago.”

Ben’s confusion grew. “How?”

“The United State Armee Forces are trying to keep the incident under wraps, especially since there were casualties and one of its leading corporals was critically injured. And since your crew or renegades were pretty well known for their aggression, they didn’t want news of the one who had them under control to leak. It would’ve struck fear into those who knew of their previous behaviors.”

The young man grunted. “But I don’t understand why you and the family couldn’t access any information about me.”

Anakin smiled sadly. “You’re twenty-two, Ben. You’re an adult, and any information about your person is yours. You hadn’t died from the accident, so there was no need for them to contact your parents.”

With a solemn nod, Ben looked down to his hands that were now fumbling with the fabric of his black sweatpants. 

“And plus,” Anakin shrugged smugly, “I would be the first one to get that call.”

“Because you’re military?” Ben’s gaze went back up to Anakin. The man mischievously grinned his famous grin. 

“Perks of playing in my sandbox, Kid,” he said, pressing his fist against the side of Ben’s cheekbone playfully, nudging him around, like he always would years ago. Ben huffed out a laugh, turning his head in the direction of Anakin’s push. 

“You knew where I was the whole time, didn’t you?”

“There wasn’t a move you made that I didn’t know,” was his confirmation. 

Ben let out a flabbergasted humph at just now sneaky that sly sky bastard was. He really did have eyes in the sky, or so Anakin would say. 

“There’s a caravan of people at home waiting for you, Ben,” Anakin said softly. “Are you ready to go?”

Ben blinked at him confusingly. “But I’m supposed to stay here until my rehab is complete?”

“I’ve ensured your doctors here have been in contact with doctor’s back home,” Anakin winked. “We’ve got everything ready. Your parents situated your room in the downstairs room at their home until you get back on your feet.”

“And my therapy?”

“Scheduled and ready for you to start when you get back. Any other complication that might arise can be taken care of by the hospital there.”

“Seeing as to how my internal organs have decided to just, stop,” Ben chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “We might need to keep an emergency medical technician’s phone number in our contacts.”

Anakin laughed, eyes crinkling at the side, a sight that made Ben’s heart leap for joy. “You know your mother would keep the ambulance in her possession just for you, and drive it herself if she could.”

Now it was Ben’s turn to chuckle. The two of them shared that sweet moment that Ben desperately needed. It might have been nearly three years since he’d seen the man’s face, or felt his embrace, but it was like no time had passed at all. 

—

“I’m gonna go sign your release papers,” Anakin said a while later after they had calmed down. They had sat and talked for a long time, Ben catching his grandfather up on all the interesting parts of being a soldier, like the traveling, the languages, the girls. Anakin teased him horrendously at the last point, causing the twenty-two year old’s ears to burn. 

“Okay,” Ben said with a pressed grin, feeling slightly sad to be leaving the place he resided in for so long. 

“Don’t go anywhere,” Anakin warned. “If you leave this room, then I will definitely get lost. This place looks identical everywhere,” he said with a sneer, gazing at the tan walls that surrounded them. 

“Yes, Sir,” Ben chuckled as the older man went to make his exit, but stopped in his tracks. 

“Oh, and Ben,” he commented, turning on his heel. Ben’s brown eyes looked up at him innocently. 

“Make sure you tell that girl,” he said with a nod back to the doorway behind him, then glanced over to her things that were sitting by the side of the comfy chair, “everything you ever wanted to.”

A flush rose to Ben’s cheeks as he nodded shyly. “I will.”

Winking, Anakin took his leave. In that moment alone to breathe, Ben raked over the ways he was going to tell Tallissen of his sudden departure, all those worries he had dwelled on earlier pulverizing him all at once. 

They didn’t even get the chance to finish their game earlier today. 

“So, Casanova,” Talissen said casually as she leaned against the doorway to Ben’s room a few minutes later. “Rumor has it you’re leaving?”

Anakin had helped him gather his things before he left. Ben was playing with his bottom lip distractedly when he recognized who was at the door. His heart sank. “Yeah,” he said with slight ease, looking at her plainly. “I guess I am.”

The young woman who had nursed him back to health almost perfectly, if perfect was an achievable condition, gave him a closed smile, padding into his room quietly. She crossed her arms over her chest, peering down to him with those sparkling blue eyes. 

“I was beginning to wonder when your family was going to put your face on the side of milk cartons.”

Ben chuckled at that, shaking his head slightly. 

“Unfortunately, they used an image of me when I was thirteen, so everyone’s on the hunt for a pubescent teenage boy.”

Tallissen giggled lightly, deciding to squat next to him and reached out for Ben’s left hand. She clasped it in hers carefully, meeting his troubled eyes fondly. 

“You know,” he sighed before looking down to their hands. “As sad as hospitals can be, with the loss of hope if you’re injured so badly,” Ben mused, caressing her hand with his thumb, “I’m actually going to miss it.”

“You’re going to miss this place?” The girl inquired an eyebrow, glancing around to those damn tan walls that kept their reckless nights a secret. “Or,” she began, looking down to their hands. “Are you going to miss me?”

Ben grinned teasingly. “More than likely, you. But I might even miss the sex more.”

Talissen broke into laughter, head tilting back and eyes closing in amusement. It was one of the few sights that Ben looked forward to seeing each day. 

Then, the girl rose, bending at the hip to get close to his face. Her eyes detected a few tiny scars and some remaining bruises, but she could never deny the fact that he was one of the most stunning men she’d ever met. He was beautiful, despite being broken. Even when his honey brown eyes were full of busted blood vessels, she thought he was so incredibly handsome. For someone to be so strong to survive an explosion, being so close to the device, and coming out of it with no cosmetic injury. 

He was incredible. 

He was the most breathtaking man she had taken to bed in her short life. Other flings in secondary school paled in comparison. 

“I guess you’re just going to have to find someone else,” she murmured as her lips approached his. Then, like they did numerous times before, she kissed him. 

This time, it meant the end to the both of them. It was one of sadness, as they knew it would be the last time they probably ever saw each other. It was of gladness to have teased and laughed together. It was of embarrassment for having slept around for it to end up as nothing. But, it was also one of luck, for the adventures that were awaiting them beyond this moment. 

She pulled back slowly, tears trailing down her cheeks silently. Her eyes opened to reveal his looking back at her, and that stupid, smug sparkle twinkling in his eyes she loved seeing every day for the last several months. 

“Go fly a plane, Tal,” encouraged Ben with a grin. “Fly out of here and never look back.”

Tallissen’s face broke into the largest smile he had ever seen her show. Her hand came up to the top of his head to ruffle is dark hair gently before making her way to the door. 

“Thank you,” he stopped her, wanting so longingly to reach out and pull her into his arms. “For—for all of it.” 

Her lips pressed into a thin smile before revealing that beautiful grin he adored. “Of course, Ben. It’s my job.”

“For not just your job, Tallissen,” Ben said seriously. “For every single detail of our time together.” 

Trying her hardest not to cry, Tallissen continued to grin, chin quivering ever so slightly. She blinked her eyes to a different direction, wishing away the tears that threatened to fall. After a deep breath, she turned her head back to him.

“Stay out of trouble, Soldier. When I fly in that sky, I better see you waving at me from whatever incredible place you’ll find yourself in.” She winked at him from the doorway before giving him a final salute goodbye for the last time. Then, as quickly as she entered his perception, she disappeared without a look back. 

Ben sighed heavily, using is good hand to run through his growing dark hair, before he decided to look out the friendly window to where the sun had finally begun to set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this little dive into Ben’s past and all he’s endured. I know the twist at the end of the chapter probably wasn’t your favorite moment, but it will make sense soon. 
> 
> After this, we embark on adventure! 
> 
> Enjoy, lovely readers!
> 
> All my love! X


	32. West

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maps stretched out-  
> Too many miles to count.  
> Let’s just say we’re inches apart,  
> Even closer at heart,  
> And we’ll be just fine.
> 
> Another pin pushed in  
> To remind us where we’ve been.  
> And every mile adds up  
> And leaves a mark on us.  
> And sometimes our compass breaks  
> And our steady true north fades.  
> We’ll be just fine.”  
> —West; Sleeping At Last
> 
> —
> 
> Ben and Rey take care of each other after Ben finds the strength to let her in. Once they do, they dive right into the adventure that awaits them.

Ben didn’t tell her anything about knowing Tallie. 

The poor woman was so overwhelmed to know her husband had been in such a life-threatening accident that nearly killed him. She had no idea as to why he would keep such a serious part of his life behind closed doors. They had been married for a while now—doesn’t he trust her? 

Maybe, in time, he’d tell her, but for now, she was just so thankful to be able to hold him in her arms. 

After he finished describing his injuries to her and how it took so long for him to heal, Rey burst into tears. It’s not like she wasn’t already in tears listening to his story, but learning as to how he had nearly died nearly crushed her. He tried to reach out to her, but she pushed him back, commanding that he show her every scar, every place he was broken. She wanted to check every last inch of him, places she, as his wife, should have noticed before.

With a sigh, Ben complied with her request, hating how much this had upset her. His mind desperately tried to search for a reason why he never felt the urge to tell her, despite them knowing each other’s medical histories. They are fucking spouses for heavens sake, shouldn’t have he been more honest? 

And how the hell was there a miscommunication between them about his military experiences? They filled out taxes and whatnot together. Had she not seen where he had to file as a veteran? 

But guilt flushed over him like hot water as the realization dawned on him. He had been so accustomed to keeping it a secret that he intentionally, and nearly subconsciously, never allowed her to see those forms, regardless of the document. He always hid them away in a book on his bookshelf she would never touch, in the secret locked drawer of his in his desk, or in his office at work. 

He had these facts about his past life locked down so tightly, and was so used to covering it up from everyone, that he was obliviously doing it to Rey, too. 

In remorse, Ben shed his button-up and white undershirt, leaning on his knees against the mattress. His hands came to rest on the top of his thighs sheepishly. Rey crawled over to him, sitting up on her own, bump causing her legs to part a tad wider than she used to, and allowed her eyes to graze over his bare torso. 

“Oh,” she exhaled softly, hazel eyes wide and expressive as she studied him. Her soft fingertips brushed over the small scars he had near his collarbone that were now faded, the larger ones on his left shoulder, and even the ones that were nearly gone on his left arm. The map of his body took her focus from the left to the right, the side that received so much damage. There was a fairer number of scars on that forearm that she hadn’t truly noticed before, but looked faded with time. They now were prominent in her heartbroken eyes that were already full with tears, again

She knew of his appendicitis and surgery to remove that years ago, but she never knew the context. Her hand trailed from his arm to that scar next to his belly button, then went to trace over it. Ben shifted slightly at how lightly her touch tickled, a small grin forming on his face. Plus, she was nearly caressing the part of him he was most self-conscious about—his fit, yet slightly squishy stomach—since he was feeling bulkier than usual lately. He blamed it as sympathy weight from Rey’s pregnancy.

Rey then laid a loving hand on Ben’s right pectoral muscle, which remained as toned as it always had been. With a soft gaze, she looked up at him innocently.

“Can you feel me?”

Ben’s stomach flipped at her statement, which filled his heart with such an adoration for his lovely girl. The one he chose to love every single day—the one he was so undeniably in love with. Giving that same grin, the one he knew she always adored, but now with glistening eyes, his hand met hers on his side. Taking it in his own, Ben moved it from that spot to another on the same side. 

“I can feel you.”

“Truly?”

Ben hummed, placing her hand in another spot to emphasize his point. “Yes, Sweetheart.”

“More than the pressure?” Her eyes peered up at him desperately clinging to the hope that her worst thought didn’t come true. 

“I can feel your touch. Completely. The exact way tips of your fingers feel against my skin” 

Rey’s forehead crinkled as she asked her final question. “Even in your hand? You can feel me?”

Ben gave her a genuine smile, basking in the relief that radiated from her once worried face. “I can absolutely feel you. And I have for the last seven years.”

The woman released an airy laugh of pure joy as she tried her best to keep herself from crying again, forehead crinkling and lips pressing into a tight smile. Her chin quivered slightly as she watched Ben squeeze her hand gently, bringing it up to his lips to press delicate kisses to her smooth, sweet skin. 

“I regained the last bit of feeling in my hand before we married. There’s still some stinging of pain in my side every so often, but it’s tolerable.”

“So, you’re alright?”

“I’m perfectly fine. My doctors haven’t been concerned in years about my physicality. But they had their worries about what happens when I do get sick.”

Rey’s forehead crinkled further into a small scowl. “You do have a horrid time when you’re ill.” 

“And it takes longer for me to get better,” he said sadly, but kept his eyes on Rey. “Before, they were worried that I was going to drop so much weight and not be able to regain it since I was on a specific kind of diet.”

“What happened?”

Ben chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “The version of me you met in school was a still-recovering ex-military Corporal. Though he be a little scrawny, since I couldn’t truly begin to build my muscle back up, I was a force to reckon with.”

Rey giggled. “You were shy and quiet, Ben. One of the softest people I’d ever met.”

Ben huffed out a defensive breath. “Hey. I had just seen war, you’d have to give me some credit for being a little more soft around the edges.”

Rey smiled up to him, leaning her hands back against the bed to look up at him. “I do. You’re obviously not the same, physically, since we met.”

She laughed aloud when she saw Ben’s shocked reaction, feeling the tiniest bit offended by her statement, but knew exactly what she meant. His physique had changed significantly. There was evidence of more muscle and tone in different areas—maybe not as much as it was, but nowadays he’s not in active combat. 

However, she definitely loved how much thicker he was than when he was in his twenties. 

Watching her laugh at his reaction, Ben leaned his torso down so that he was on his hands, too, hovering over her slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Rey tilted her head back to look at him. “I’m just saying,” she started, noticing the quirk of his eyebrow as she slowly stroked a hand down his muscular arm, “is that you’re no longer the medium size you were when we first met.”

Ben gave her a playful smirk. “Would you rather me be?”

“Absolutely not,” she said seriously, gaze considerably more threatening. “You can’t hold me, as ballooned as I am, if you’re that small.”

“Oh, Angel,” Ben tilted his head down to press a kiss to her forehead. “I can you hold you plenty well regardless how I look.”

Rey raised a brown. “Really?” Her face leaned closer to his, nearly inches away. She gave him a teasing grin, lips brushing over his as she flirted. “Then that means I get all your big shirts for myself.”

He hummed a chuckle against her lips, outright refusing her the opportunity to kiss him by turning his face slightly so she could chase his mouth. “That won’t do. You already take them all. The last thing you need is to officially consider them yours.”

Rey’s arm came up wrap around his neck, using the other to hold herself up until his strong hand placed itself on her back. Taking her bump into consideration, he slowly lowered her down onto the mattress, body also moving to sink lower into the bed. He landed on his side, torso still hovering over hers, head tilted towards hers as her lips connected with his in the seductive way she was so good at. 

—

The next morning, Ben woke with Rey, who had remained close to him all throughout night. When his eyes opened, he turned his head to see her bare back exposed from the sheets. Her head was against his bare chest, and he felt the warmth from her body against his, especially the swell of her belly pressed into his own side. She was gazing at her phone screen intently until she felt him stir. 

They laid there for an extra thirty minutes, lazily exchanging kisses full of appreciation and absolute adoration. It nearly escalated into more thanks to Rey hovering over his head, covering herself with the sheet shyly, hair draping over her shoulder in the leftover beautiful waves from the night before. more than willing to spend the rest of her day taking care of his every need. Ben tried teasing her from behind the sheets, claiming to have seen her naked a few times by now and that he could handle it once more. He just wanted to bask in the gloriousness that was his wife. 

Eventually, he had to pull himself away from her enticing lips and hexing words to encourage her to go get ready for her meetings. Rey was reluctant to remove herself from their haven, continuing to kiss him sloppily in the early morning light, but tore herself from his intoxicating touch before she made herself late. 

Ben had risen from the bed while she showered quickly, put on some boxer briefs, and ventured his way into the open suite. He prepared her tea while she was getting ready, sitting down at the small table patiently, looking at his emails and other work business until Rey walked out of their room. Turning his eyes up to her, he grinned as he took in her appearance. She was dressed in a green polka dot babydoll blouse that dipped lower in the back, paired with black maternity dress pants and simple tan ballet flats. 

“Excuse me, ma’am?” Ben’s eyes lingered on her with an unmistakable spark of desire for the woman standing across the room from him. “Do you speak Czech?”

Rey raised an eyebrow. 

“Because I’m Czech-in’ you out,” he teased her with that same ogling stare. Registering his joke, Rey broke into laughter, holding her bump as her laugh was a full-bodied one. 

“That one was good,” she complimented with a full smile, scrunching her nose as she made her way over to him. “I didn’t know you were funny.”

He now looked up to her with a deadpanned expression. “Hilarious.” When Rey approached his side, she placed a hand on the shoulder farthest away from her in an effort to wrap herself around him. Ben, happy now that she was here, tilted his chin up to her, waiting for another kiss like a puppy waiting for his treat. Despite receiving multiple from her already, Rey complied more than willingly to the spoilt man’s desires. 

“You look great today, Sweetheart,” Ben mused as he turned in his seat, head till turned up to the beautiful woman next to him. Rey giggled, brushing a strand of hair that fell into his face away. 

“I would much rather be in your shirts,” she responded a little longingly, hand going back down to rest on his bare, muscular shoulder.

“As captivating as that would be,” Ben hummed, stopping himself to envision the thought. “It’s best you’re in this for now.”

“How come?”

Ben’s eyes trailed up the rest of her body to her eyes, a carnal gleam flashing in those brown eyes. “Because our rapture from the night before will have a reprise.”

A shiver went down Rey’s spine as she started to picture the absolutely filthy things Ben was capable of doing—everything and more than he did last night. The naughty things that got her knocked up, truly. Warmth burned deep inside her belly, and she felt herself nearly throb for that touch—for a day full of everything he wanted to do to her. 

Her husband sensed her arousal and soaked it in with a mischievous smirk. “But like I said, you’ve got things to do today, so my plans for you, if you were willing to change as you said you would, will have to wait a little longer.”

Rey nodded submissively, swallowing the lump in her throat that would have been a beg for him to take care of her. She dared not to speak, which he took as an opportunity to direct his attention to another part of her. Allowing her a moment to settle down, he then proceed to take a hand and caress the side of her baby belly despite the hem of her blouse. 

“‘Morning, you two,” he said blissfully, talking to the twins, and admiring just how incredibly her body was changing to accommodate the growing babes. “How do you feel today?”

“Fine,” she hummed once she regained her composure, resting her free hand just beneath her belly. “They were pretty active this morning before you were awake. Wriggly enough to wake me up.” 

“I think they just wanted to remind you they were there,” he gazed down to her stomach fondly. “It’s absolutely insane that there are two little humans in there.”

“You’re telling me,” she chuckled. “Did you make tea?”

Eyes still lingering on her, Ben reached over to her cup beside his, lifting it from it’s stationary spot and passing it off to her. A skill he learned to do perfectly from his near five years of parenting. “I wonder what it’s like in there.”

“I was reading an article this morning about where they are in terms of growth,” she said after taking a slow sip of her favorite drink. “It said that they can hear things now.”

“Both of them can hear, now?” Ben’s eyes were wide as he looked up to Rey’s face, who was admiring his curiosity and love for their two babies. She nodded, and then froze. 

Ben’s brow lowered wearily. “What is it?”

“Someone is moving, again,” she answered, turning her eyes down to her protruding bump. Her husband’s head snapped back downward to the spot of action. 

“Where,” he asked, focused intently on this moment. 

Rey gestured for his hand, and he willingly offered it to her. She navigated it to where she felt the little nudges, which was against the left side of the prominent swell. After a second, one of the babies repeated its previous action, and Ben was lucky enough to catch it this time. 

His eyes sparkled in excitement at the smallest of pushes against her skin. “There you are,” Ben said happily to the growing baby. It made Rey’s heart melt watching his fond interactions. 

“I’ll be back around twelve-ish again,” Rey told him kindly. “Let’s spend the day in and just lay around.”

“Sounds absolutely perfect,” Ben confirmed with a nod, giving her bump one final rub before he went back to his laptop. “I’ve got some confused students I have to email. Maybe a lecture to teach. A few miles to run.”

“You can allow yourself a break from that, Sweetheart,” Rey offered, holding the tea cup with both hands. “You’re away on a Holiday for all anyone knows.”

“I could,” Ben tilted his head to the side slightly. “But when you were checking me over last night, I did too, and I’m not very happy with the sympathy weight I’ve gained since we found out you were pregnant again.” 

Rey giggled mischievously. “But I like how soft you are.”

Ben pretended as if she had wounded him. “Ow, ow,” he repeated, imitating where her shots fired would have hit his torso. “That really hurts, Angel. I’m not soft.”

Rey removed a hand from her cup and placed it on one of his bare arms, squeezing the prominent muscle, but grasped onto the little that wasn’t in his relaxed position. “Soft,” she said simply. 

Ben rose from his chair immediately, minding where she stood next to him, playfully retreating from her teasing. “No, I am not soft.” 

Now that he was standing, her hand stretched out to touch the new, and outright adorable, pudge at his lower stomach gently. He was naturally, with the help of intense workouts and endless amounts of protein, thickset, with a broad torso and a Herculean figure. His stomach was definitely toned, but it wasn’t to the point of a washboard appearance. Quite frankly, Rey didn’t find that the most attractive, and Ben nearly broke into a sweat of relief at all the extra cardio he could cut out. 

But now, there was just something a little more rounded there, and Rey loved it. 

“This is new,” she nearly squealed, rubbing her hand against his smooth skin. Only in his boxers, he leaped back and away from her grabby hands. 

“No,” he scolded, covering his stomach with an arm. Pointing a finger at her, he warned, “Put those weapons away.” 

Rey giggled, setting her cup down on the table and tried to hurry after him as he scurried into the bedroom. “Ben!” 

She slid off her flats by the door and walked over to the bed, brushing her hair behind her ears. Ben had covered himself up with the sheets, cocooned within the duvet to hide from her. 

“Darling,” she whined with a laugh, hands pressing against the fluffy white cover. “Come out and let me love you,” she begged. 

Ben popped his head out, his dark hair a severe contrast against the white material. “Not if you’re going to harass me.”

“I promise I won’t, if it makes you feel better,” she soothed, helping him unwrap from the thicker cover. “But I do like it when you’re not as tough to lay against. It makes for more comfortable support when laying on my side,” she said, going to hold the side of her bump lovingly. 

Ben grunted as he removed himself from the safe haven he created and gazed up at her. “It’s only because I love you so much that I got to be this way.”

Rey giggled, bending a knee to begin climbing on the mattress. Ben’s hands immediately reached out to help steady her as she moved closer to him. 

“I think it’s brilliant, my Love. I’m not bothered by it, and unless it’s compromising you, you shouldn’t either.”

When she finally lowered herself down, Ben took the opportunity to carefully take her into his strong arms, laying her back against the mattress gently, obviously teasing her with their risqué and heavily heated activity the night before. 

With a squeal, Rey landed on the comfortable pillows, eyes bright and smile wide as Ben hovered over her. He was still radiant in her eyes, the same beauty that she fell in love with when he was a young man. Even now, through marriage and parenthood, he was still her Ben. And now, she knew just a little more of this body that went though so much. 

Ben ducked his head down to meet her lips with his, replying to her last statement with a humbled spirit that streamed through the movement of his mouth. This time, he didn’t allow for them to divulge any further, but rather pulled away carefully from her mouth and proceeded to express his affections through small pecks. 

Giggles slipped through the girl’s smiling mouth and vibrated against his own, which sent bursts of fireworks into his stomach. Her hands moved up to cup his face gently, keeping his face close enough so she could see his eyes. 

“You’re going to make me late,” she smirked as her knees propped up beside his hovering body, and rocked back and forth. Ben placed one more kiss to her lips with a low hum. 

“Maybe so, but I just can’t help wanting to express my affections for my bride.” His gaze was nothing but pure bliss as he drank her in, a tall glass of water in the midst of his drought. Rey rolled her eyes happily before patting his chest so he could let her up. Reluctant, Ben sat himself up to help her rise from her reclined position, and assisted her off the bed. Once she was up, she padded over to her shoes, a hand absentmindedly pressing against the side of her stomach, just above where it extended outward from the top of her thigh, right beneath her ribcage. 

“Have a good morning,” Rey called to him tenderly, turning in the doorway to glance back at him. He was watching her from where he had laid back onto the mattress once again. He gave her his famous grin she would press her own mouth against sloppily if she could. 

“You do the same, Sweetheart.”

—

The next day, the couple made their way to the Heathrow Airport to make their departure with Tallie and Erik. Both were jittery in anticipation: Rey because of the next adventure she was bound for, and Ben because he feared his curious little wife would get herself into something dangerous, and because he was going to have to be in the presence of Rey’s childhood friend—and a former part of his life who nearly sent him into shock a few nights ago—for the weekend. 

They ventured through security quite easily, dropped off their desired suitcase, and walked hand in hand through the terminal shoppes. Ben had his backpack hanging from one shoulder while Rey’s carry-on satchel crossed her body, making her swell look a little more prominent. Their eyes searched for their terminal, which was not too far past the security check. There, the two of them encountered the sight of the other couple who were sitting comfortably in two of the chairs, reading an article on Erik’s phone screen. 

“Well, Rey, I guess Tallie wasn’t able to disappoint this time,” Ben commented as they approached, Rey following beside him with a happy grin on her face as she saw her friend was on time, earlier than herself, again. Tallie and Erik’s heads both shot up at the sound of their friends approaching, a smirk stretching across the young woman’s lips. 

“Like I said,” Tallissen’s eyes darted from Rey to Ben, a smug smirk washing over her lips. “I don’t disappoint.”

Ben huffed out a quiet laugh, which went right over Rey’s head. 

“Was getting through security easy for you both?” Erik’s hopeful voice said to them as the finished approaching. Ben was trying to regain control of his thoughts as he stared at Tallie, so Rey responded for them both. 

“It wasn’t bad at all. Very light traffic today, which is surprising for being a Friday,” Rey responded, loosening her grip from Ben’s hand and taking a seat across from the other couple against the window. Tallie kept her eyes on the taller man steadily before turning her gaze back down to her partner’s phone. 

“Consider yourself blessed. I got patted down after I went through the security scanner thing,” Tallie commented distractedly. 

Ben muttered a remark under his breath that made Rey swat her hand at him disapprovingly. He grunted when her hand hit a sensitive spot, thankful Tallie didn’t also hear him. 

Tallie and Erik resumes their deep conversation as Rey removed her satchel from her shoulder, and Ben slowly lowered himself down into the chair next to her. When as he slid his backpack off, he asked the two a question. 

“What have you found that’s so intriguing?”

Tallie hummed, recognizing that she was being talked to. “Interesting things to do in Cologne, because Heaven knows we can’t just sit around.” Her eyes flirted up to his. “Have either you been?”

“Not that particular city,” he replied slowly, lowering his bag down to the ground. “But a few times.”

Her eyes widened curiously, as if she was shocked to hear him speak of his travels in front of his wife, who still had yet to know about the two of them. “Where to, then?”

“Berlin, Hamburg, Leipzig. Düsseldorf, Heidelberg, and few of the major cities in Österreich,” he answered casually, German pronunciations flowing smoothly off his tongue. “She and I went to Aussee Region in Austria for their annual daffodil festival a number of years ago.”

Rey was absolutely amazed, wondering how many languages he was able to pick up while traveling so much, but more more so wondering just how many ways he could talk to her in their bed. 

“Wow,” Tallie said, marveling at him. “Did you go for a Uni thing? That’s where she said you both met.” 

She shifted slightly while the two spoke, mildly aroused by the mere thought of him explaining everything he wanted from her while grazing his hand up every single part of her body. 

Ben shook his head. “No. For her birthday, I took her since she loves the spring.”

“What a birthday gift,” Erik commented, eyes wide with curiosity, a smile etched onto his angelic lips—to which Ben felt mildly intimidated by. “Or should I say, ‘das war ein schöner Geschenk,’” the man added with a little laugh. Ben grinned, now definitely feeling trifled by the European. 

Rey shifted one more time, having to cross one ankle under her knee in the chair, a fist pressed against her forehead as she propped her elbow up on the back of the chair. With her eyes closed, she didn’t see Ben’s head snap back to her, a worried expression watching her try to get comfortable. 

“Is everything okay?” His brown eyes gazed at her steadily, wearily searching her face for signs of distress. He spoke to her quietly with his head turned to her alone, away from the others. 

Rey hummed in response, eyes remaining closed as she slid her bottom lip between her teeth. 

“Are you in pain?”

She shook her head slightly. 

“Discomfort.”

Another head shake. 

Ben was baffled, blinking at her before he understood. Something about her aura had changed, and he could just sense that she had become emotionally charged—horny, he would tell her in the privacy of their bedroom. 

Bless her and her hyperactive sex drive. 

His scowl turned into a flirtatious smirk when he finally caught her drift. He squeezed her knee that was closest to him carefully before leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, the muscles prominent in his biceps against the hem of his white shirt. 

In the hour and a half they had to wait for their flight, Rey ended up dozing off in the seat next to Ben, who, after sitting for a while, decided he needed to take a walk and get some water. Asking the two friends to watch his wife while he was gone and to have her text if she needed anything. 

What he didn’t expect, however, was the female that trailed after him, making his defensive instincts heighten significantly. His steps slowed. sensing who it was, for the noise between each step was too short to be his pregnant wife. Turning his head to the left, Ben watched the blonde-headed female catch up to his stride. 

“What the hell is this,” she nearly hissed at him, turning her blazing crystal blue eyes up to him. 

“What the hell is what,” Ben bit back, gaze focused on all the shoppes around them. Tallie scoffed, nearly flabbergasted at the man. 

“Has none of this registered, you git? That’s my best friend that you married and knocked up, twice now.”

“So I’ve come to realize,” he said casually, stopping once he found a small market to find water. 

Tallie glared at him. “And that doesn’t bother you? Considering—?”

“Considering what, Tal?” Ben looked down to her, frustrated and instinctively using her nickname. 

“Considering the fact that you and I used to have a good shag every once and a while,” she crossed her arms over her chest smugly. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He kept the statement short and curt, not allowing for much question as he grabbed a couple of bottles from the large refrigerator. 

Tallie’s mouth dropped open. “You don’t know—? Why, has eleven years been too long for you to remember such traumatizing events? Yet I hear you remembering how many places you’ve waltzed around while you were out wasting your life away and killing—.”

“Don’t,” Ben interrupted her viscously with a deep, quiet voice, “ever mention that again.”

“Why?” Her eyebrow quirked up, eyes now squinted at him. “Afraid the Missus will find out?”

“Don’t bring Rey into this, Talissen,” he nearly snarled quietly, rendering that they had to keep their volume level to a minimum to not attract a nosy eye. “What happened all those years ago is between you and me.” 

“Does she know?”

“There’s a lot of things to know,” he said flatly, looking back into the refrigerator to get his eyes off of her. “You’ve got to be more specific.”

“Does she know about any of it? How you used to wave a weapon around and make countries beg for mercy—.”

“What the fuck did I just say?” Ben’s eyes could only see red now as he snapped his head back to her. “How do you even know about that?”

Tallie’s lips began to transform into a smug, pitying smirk. “You and your grandfather get angry in the exact same manner.”

“Tallissen,” Ben cautioned, nearly seething as he held the two water bottles. “I am warning you one last time. Quit bringing up my past.”

“Does she know or not, Ben,” Tallie demanded without question, finding a similar strength within herself like Ben did to shoot her down. 

His face scrunched into a scowl at her shift in demeanor. “She knows about my military experience.”

“The accident?”

“And the injuries.”

Then, Tallie’s gaze went slightly cold, but more anxious than angry. “Does she know about us?”

“God, no,” he said on an exhale, eyes darting around the open store apprehensively before back to her. “I could never tell her about that.”

“Good,” Tallie confirmed seriously. “She’s the friend I lost, Ben.”

“I know,” he responded, eyes searching hers remorsefully. “And I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” she huffed out a breath of air. “Because, coincidentally, she managed to find her way—despite there being a whole world out there—to you and fall desperately head over heels with your sleazy ass.”

“Hey,” Ben was frowning now, offended by her statement. “I have no control as to how she and I found each other, nor did I have anything to do with it being your best friend. If you would like to remember correctly,” he bit with a hint of sarcasm, “and not whatever fantasy you’ve decided to conjure, you never told me the girl’s name. You never told me her story or what actually happened to her. For all I knew, your friend killed herself.”

Tallie gaped at him. “Rey was depressed, but she would never kill herself before she got out of London.”

“You don’t think I know that?” Ben let out a bewildered chuckle. “When I left, Tallie, I had to put you and all that time London so fucking far out of my head because of the pain and sadness that I felt. I couldn’t keep feeling that.”

“Yeah,” Tallie scoffed once more. “So you let others feel it instead. Very typical of you, Corporal Solo.”

“Tallissen,” Ben barked, but she had already turned on her heel to leave. After a moment, she turned back around to him, a threatening look in her eye. 

“This is how it’s going to go,” she said lowly and methodically. “You and I are not going to say a word about any of this.”

“Which is how I learned to cope with it,” Ben shot back, looking at Tallie seriously.

“But you better watch your ass. If there is a moment that I see you hurt her,” she nearly growled, “I know how to sedate your ass. Maybe even fight it now, too.”

“Is that a threat?” Ben’s eyes were now squinting at her, his tone flat. 

“It’s a promise, you twat.” With that, Tallie turned back on her heel and left the market, making the rage that was ever so deeply stored in Ben’s heart burn with a fury he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

—

Waiting for the plane didn’t take too much longer after Ben and Tallie had returned. They were still severely frustrated at the other, and the air between them was masked under a veil of complacency. A viel that Ben was thankful hid the rearing head of his troubled past. 

Rey had woken up a few minutes after Ben returned, even though she had shifted in her sleep towards him when he lowered himself back down into the seat. He and Tallie kept their eyes off of each other, but played into the act once Erik made conversation with the two of them. Rey, still groggy from her light dose, thanked Ben for the water, receiving an prolonged kiss to her hairline. 

At nearly 11.00, the group found themselves in their seats. The plane was a model Rey had never seen before; there were seats of three on one side and two on the other. Thankfully, she and Ben found theirs on the side with two, which meant they could stay in their little bubble for the next couple of hours. And fortunately for Ben, their seats were pretty far ahead of Tallie and Erik’s. 

That beautiful man, Ben thought to himself, has the misfortune of having to deal with her. But, those thoughts he had a long time ago about not being what she needed resurfaced. Maybe Erik was that freedom and ability to stay unattached that Tallie needed. He did all kinds of spontaneous and irrational things with her, especially with them both having military experience. He knew all too well that the soldier life—in his opinion—was where the personal life of the server was unattached and undistracted by secular things. Their job was to go to the end of the line for their purpose. 

Ben had been to the end of the line and skidded to a halt in the void that followed it. Nearly dying was his end of the line. He was done trying to run away and nomadically calling a place home. His heart, desires, and physical, mental, and emotional health were begging him to settle down, to make something out of himself. Something from the rubble that was left from years of him waging war with himself. 

That’s why he went to school. Given, he had started online classes throughout his time in the military, spending his free time, that wasn’t training others or being trained, outside in the cool breeze of wherever he was, writing and creating. His muse was the impact that life had on him. He wrote in a way that vividly described the horrors of the authentic world and the joys of the opportunities fortunately given, in a way that seemed as if he had truly experienced it all in such depth. But really, he wrote the words, the way he should have felt, when he truly felt nothing at all. 

It would confuse him after he wrote it, seeing as to how his mind couldn’t properly allow him to process those emotions he wrote down, but his body—his soul; his spirit—knew and poured their sorrow and jubilee onto his paper. 

Reading them nowadays would make Ben break down into tears—something he didn’t truly do anymore since he got ahold of his emotions. The plays, poems, and other collective writings ended up being published, winning him significant awards later in his life and making him highly esteemed in the world of modern literature. His plays were performed at the university once he was able to come home and attend the main campus, and since then, across the nation. 

Thanks to all of that, the was rewarded the the premiere of his play in New York that he submitted manuscripts for when he and Rey made things official. And that’s where they went, together, that fall of 2012. 

This is the life he wanted to be known about himself. Not the chaos he caused, ruining the few good beginning years of adulthood. His parents had hoped he would continue on to school and find himself someone special, even more friends after the loss of Phas. They got their wish, just after several years of mistrust, anger, greed, and pain. Nothing in this world broke his heart like disappointing his parents. Disappointing anyone he loves, for that matter. Since that day, he vowed to himself that he would never be that dark version of himself again. 

And what right did Tallie have to bring it back up, of all times? Understandably, it was awkward as fuck, Ben watching a former flame and the burning, sizzling, vibrant fire of his life proclaim their close friendship—something he could have swore was in a Nicholas Sparks novel. Rey had no clue about the two of them and their rendezvous, and he prayed that she wouldn’t ever try to ask questions 

All of these thoughts ran through his mind for the first hour of the flight. Rey had dozed off once again, leaning her head against Ben’s shoulder for comfort. Ben took the opportunity to dot the top of her forehead with soft kisses, nuzzling his nose into her auburn hair (that had already begun to change in her eighteen weeks of gestation). 

While in the air, Ben was amazed at how well Rey took to flying while pregnant. Once she woke, she shifted in her seat, he noticed that her hand immediately went to check on the swell of her belly, a motherly instinct that he noticed she also did with Ivy. After ensuring that she was okay, the young mother pulled her satchel up into the seat next to the window and took out her sketch pad. 

Her head found the same place against his shoulder as she worked on a drawing in her sketchbook. Every so often, Ben, who was watching her fondly, would give her a suggestion to add, and she took it with a grin and added it with ease. He loved watching her create things—art; mechanical things; food; love; his babies. 

After a while, Rey had stopped her sketching. Ben helped position themselves to where she could lean her back against his body and look out the window. They watched the fluffy objects (he decided to define them since they weren’t really tuffs of fluff in the atmosphere) hang lazily, unchanging for a moment until Rey spoke up. 

“What do you think Ivy’s been doing since we’ve been gone?” Her eyes were still focused through the little window, the tone of her voice exposing her longing for the touch of their baby. 

Ben exhaled a breath. “Being Ivy, I would assume. Tons of playtime, lots of bedtime stories, many pictures colored.”

Rey pouted slightly. “I miss our Love Bug,” she replied sadly. 

In an effort to comfort her, he pressed the side of his face gently onto hers, nuzzling his nose gently. “I know. I do too. Not hearing what that quirky mind of hers imagines is driving me insane.”

“I never thought normal, grown-up adults could be so boring,” his wife admitted, causing him to chuckle lightly. 

“Experience a number of them lately?” He tilted his head to the side slightly, giving her a playful grin. Her eyes turned to his fondly, her nose scrunching up before she responded. 

“Too many to count.” She sighed quietly, placing one of her hands on her bump beneath her breasts. “Those meetings are so boring.”

“Well, luckily enough for you,” Ben offered, “you only have a work week of them left.”

“That’s the thing,” Rey replied after a moment of deliberation. “What if I don’t want to go to them?”

Ben’s eyes jumped up to the window as he pondered her statement logically. “Then, I suppose you would explain to whoever is in charge that you have decided to return home.”

“I don’t want them to think I’m bailing on them.”

“There’s truly no way around this,” his eyes glanced down to her bump then back to the window, “morally.” 

Her expression turned into one of curious intrigue. “What are you proposing?”

“In the best light,” he began, “you can tell them that you’re really just fed up with all this shit and are calling it a vacation.”

“Or?”

Ben smirked mischievously. “From the dark side, you could play it off as if there’s something wrong, physically.”

Rey’s hand moved to cover her bump protectively. “My babies are not in danger,” she argued. 

“I know they’re not, and neither are you,” he soothed. “But they don’t know nor really care if it’s true or not. If you tell them that you went for an emergency visit this weekend and were recommended to return home, it could save you a hell of a lot of disheartening energy wasted, and us more time away from our daughter.”

Rey considered this for a moment. Ben was right, the people she tagged along with weren’t of any interest to her, nor she to them. They took to their own shortly after Rey arrived, and quite frankly, she was thankful. She didn’t like the snooty personalities of the ladies anyway—couldn’t stand them even when they were two offices away. Allowing her arm to unwrap itself slightly for her to caress the swell—feeling little wriggling from inside her—Rey spoke up. 

“Ivy would be so happy to have us both home,” she pondered out loud, receiving a head nod from her husband. 

“I love you, would literally die for you, Sweetheart,” he said with a flirtatious grin, “but I don’t think I can stay in London much longer.”

“Why? You don’t like the city?”

“It’s more cabin fever when you’re not there. Plus I have to teach hundreds of students and doing it through a video and a whole seven hour time difference, it’s been taxing.”

Rey giggled, looking into his beautiful doe eyes. “I appreciate you coming for me,” she said in a small voice. 

“You’re my best friend,” Ben said, brow slightly furrowed by her comment—as if he wouldn’t do anything for her. “Of course, I’d come for you.”

Rey pouted fondly at his statement, sitting up from her position to lean into where he was turned towards her, and pressed a loving kiss to his lips. “And you’re mine. I just missed you too much.”

“Missed me, or missed the sex?”

Rey smirked, allowing herself to press one more peck to his lips. “Both.”

Ben chuckled deeply, heart racing and blood beginning to rush to other places of his body for his girl. Damn, if she didn’t know how to make him feel a certain way in the most inconvenient of places. He had to will away thoughts of what he would do to her if he could have his way, or else this plane would be highly uncomfortable with how aroused and embarrassed he would be. 

At that, Rey turned back to how she was, her head against his shoulder again so that her ear was nuzzled against the man’s shoulder completely. Her eyes fluttered shut as the grin lingered on her lips. In his own time, her husband leaned the side of his own head against the crown of hers, an arm extending to drape over her lap. His hand found his favorite spot on her thigh and held onto her comfortingly as the flight endured for another hour and a half. 

—

The remainder flight to Cologne went as smoothly as Erik had said it would. They landed in the Cologne Bonn Airport, which was severely different and more hectic than the one in London. Ben made sure Rey was by his side at all times, though she seemed to be managing just fine, the determination in her eyes nearly inspiring. They passed through customs with ease, despite them being a ragtag group made up of an American, two Brits, and a Norwegian—one pregnant, two travel junkies, and an angsty, emo-looking giant. 

After walking through multiple terminals and alleyways of stores and places to purchase food, Erik and Ben managed to translate the directions to where they were to pick up their luggage. Once they arrived, Rey took the moment of rest to bend at her waist, stretching her legs carefully. She was in a pair of athletic maternity leggings and a fitted, long hoodie that stopped at her mid thigh. Her hair was hidden under a hat, and Ben had never been more taken by his girl and the Frat Boy vibe she was giving off. 

“Feeling okay?” His gaze was trained on her next to him, who was still stretching out her sore. Rolling back up to stretch her torso carefully, she nodded. 

“Mediocrely fine. I just really feel the fatigue today. I think the twins are going through a growth spurt.”

“Oh?” An eyebrow of his raised in curiosity. “What makes you think so?”

Rey rubbed a gentle hand against the side of her bump. “I’ve been reading blog articles on other mummas’ twin pregnancies, and one lady wrote about nearly everything I have been feeling.”

“And that has been?”

“Extreme exhaustion, back pain, the feeling of being absolutely rotund and pregnant,” she moved her hands to place on her hips as her eyes watched the luggage start filing out on the conveyer belt next to them. Her belly was unmistakable nowadays, and most of her outfits, like the one today, prominently showed the place where her little loves were growing was from her hips and pelvic area. It made Ben proud since he and their passionate love-making caused that. 

Ben let out a humph, arms uncrossing from where they were against his chest, preparing to lift their suitcase once he spotted it. “Remind me to help you with the back pain when we get settled,” he said, though his focus lingered on the sets of luggage. 

Rey nodded, standing back a little to watch their carry-ons. Her satchel was draped over her torso while Ben’s sat patiently by her Nike-clad feet. 

Eventually, her eyes wandered over to where Tallie and Erik were, a few feet away waiting for their sets, talking to each other. Her arms were crossed over her chest, back to the conveyer belt as Erik’s eyes bounced between her and the moving belongings. She looked happy while she spoke with him, eyes sparkling with such an adoration for the angel-like man who was one of the most kindest souls Rey had ever met. Erik smiled at her every so often, wider with each new idea Tallie laid down. More than likely, they were discussing what their next plans were, as they were both too fond of being on the run. 

Rey couldn’t comprehend that. All she wanted was security and stability. And thankfully, Ben did as well. 

But Erik was good for Tallie, Rey thought. He took everything she could have ever desired into stride and made it come true. They lived in the heart of the city where they could do anything they ever wanted at any time. They’ve combed the streets of incredible places, scavenged through deserts, and soared in the open air of their wildest dreams side by side. 

And the way he looked at her was so beautiful. 

Ben approached Rey once again after he had picked up their luggage from the conveyer belt. He sat it down, hand resting on the handle he had extended and turned his gaze towards his wife. “Have they gotten their stuff back yet?”

“Still waiting,” she confirmed, arms now crossed over her chest, staring at them longingly. Ben noticed her distraction and trailed her line of sight to the couple. Tallie was looking up fondly at the man, smile radiant and, from what Ben could feel from a number of feet back, totally in awe from whatever the quiet man had told her. 

He gave the picture a small grin before leaning down to pick up his backpack. Looping it over his shoulders, he situated the pack against his back, then placed a gentle hand on the small of Rey’s. “C’mon, Angel. Let’s stand back a little.”

Rey complied with his gentle request, reaching her hand out to slip into his once it fell from her back, and followed by his side to wait for their next move. 

—

The four of them were able to catch the S-Bahn train S13 from Bonn to the Köln-Hauptbahnhof City Centre, and thankfully in time before the carriage had taken off. Eirk and Ben worked out the pound and American dollar to Euro exchange rate (because Ben needed a refresher since the British currency was not the apex of his intelligence). While they did so, Tallie looked over to Ben, who had some of the foreign currency in his larger hands, counting it with quick motions. 

“Is that your dirty stripper money?” Tallie’s was looking at him with such mirth as she taunted him, hands clasped on her suitcase. Ben’s eyes jumped to her, almost glaring as he continued to count, and then smirked as he conjured the perfect comeback. 

“As a working middle-class woman who can’t get any, are you jealous?”

Tallie’s jaw dropped, clearly feeling the insult pummel into her with the force of a brick. Ben then folded up the bills, putting them into his wallet casually. He slid it in his pocket, then returned to Rey’s side. It was a stab, but he was quite over her today, and would be for the rest of his life. Rey could only swat at his chest, giving him a disappointed look, but also a wink with the eye Tallie couldn’t see. 

Erik finally returned from where he ran of to get their passes taken care of. Missing everything, he was completely oblivious to the smack down. He handed each of them one and proceeded to lead them to their train. 

Once they were boarded with their luggage, Rey sat next to Tallie while they traveled the short distance to the city. They chatted about Tallie’s unsubtle excitement for traveling across the country with her childhood best friend, something she had dreamed of forever. But, with Rey shockingly pregnant, she had to dull down her extravagant itinerary that she wrote in that journal of hers. A lot of the walking had to be switched to things where Rey had the ability to sit, or the walking wasn’t fast paced. 

While she listened, Rey peered over to her husband, who had decided to stand and discuss different things with Erik, more than likely places of operation through their military experiences. She absolutely adored moments like these; it took her back to all traveling they did together. His antics were still the same—taking care of getting there, leading them around, making sure she didn’t get herself lost. 

About twenty minutes after the ride, an automated man sounded from the speakers above them, alerting them of their arrival in Köln. Tallie looked to the other woman to see if she needed help standing, but Rey declined politely, claiming she would be okay. Deciding to trust her, Tallie hopped up and grabbed her backpack that was in the overhead compartment, and then attempted to make her way to where her and Erik’s luggage was sitting. Rey rose slowly as the train was preparing to stop, stepping out of the row of seats to meet Ben with their suitcase. 

The train started to lurch forward slightly as the press of the break was applied too heavily. Everyone standing grabbed ahold of the handrail above their heads, including Rey, who had begun to stumble slightly. Ben reached out to her swiftly, offering her some stability as she regained her balance (which was already so off-kilter now). His arm wrapped around her waist as she stumbled into him, hands grasping onto his shirt as the train halted to a stop. Erik and Tallie were clinging to the rails and poles as well, just as shaken as the other couple was.

Rey and Ben looked at them with bewildered gazes, holding each other close until the vehicle was at a complete stop. Tallie just shrugged once she could regain her footing, hand resting on the handle of their rolling suitcase. 

Erik glanced between the three of them. “I guess that’s why the ‘no moving until the vehicle has come to a complete stop’ is a rule,” he offered humorously as he let go of the rail and re-situated his bag on his shoulder. Ben and Rey checked with each other before they followed the two in the line out the door. 

They allowed Erik to exit first to help take the luggage from the large step, and held out an arm for Tallie once she hopped off. Ben exited next and guided his little wife down, who really couldn’t see her feet anymore. Then, they were off to their hotel just near the City Centre. 

The hotel that Erik has chosen for them was the Hotel Mondial am Dom Cologne, which was said to be one of the highest rated places to stay while in the city. Rey had to agree, since the Cologne Cathedral was just around the corner. It was practically in the center city district, and was surrounded by the train station, several bars, cafés and restaurants, museums, and the Rhein river, which kept the strip lively and exciting. 

Rey could have spent the rest of the day outside, feeling so happy and warm in the spring sunshine. The sounds of the city enthralled her curious nature, caused her eyes to widen behind the sunglasses she was sporting. Water was rushing from the river so close to them, and she imagined just how many images she could draw or the skyline at night before they fell asleep. 

Ben watched her in awe, totally in love with everything she was, and just how radiant and joyful she looked in the spotlight that the sun placed on her. She always had a radiance about her in his eyes, yet even now, absolutely overjoyed to be here, completely in love, and wonderfully glowing from her pregnancy. 

Maybe this impulsive escapade was just what she needed. 

Erik and Tallie led them inside the glass doors, revealing an incredibly modern interior that felt like a stomping ground for conducting business. Grays, whites, and other neutral monochromatic invaded their senses as the stepped onto the white marble floor. Everything looked very pristine and extravagant, and it made Rey feel out of place. Erik instructed the three to wait near the seating area until he came back with instructions on how to get to their rooms. 

Tallie watched him happily approach the receptionist’s desk and speak fluently in the native language of the city. Ben crossed his hands behind his back, walking about the huge space to take a look at everything and choices of art to display for all incoming guests. Rey, now feeling the slight fatigue from the day’s events, lowered herself down into one of the modern chairs slowly. 

“Erik’s done a fantastic job at coordinating all of this, Tal,” Rey commented, hand going to caress the curve of her bump instinctively. “I bet he’s great help for travel agencies.” 

“Oh, he’s spectacularly brilliant,” Tallie gushed, eyes gazing upon her lover from across the room. “Every time we feel a little reckless, he always knows a quick fix. Then boom,” she said with a gesture with her hands, “we’re living the life a couple countries away with a bucket list of shit to until we can’t anymore.”

“He’s a keeper then,” Rey said with a grin. “Someone who can keep life interesting for you.”

“London is rather dreary when you live there forever,” Tallie pouted, propping herself on top of the back of a chair. “We were always the pair for a proper exploration.”

Rey nodded, recollecting fondly on the sweet memories she made with Tallie. The two girls, barely sixteen, would venture down every avenue possible in the city, searching for something new each day. It was like they owned the world despite the world not accepting them (mostly due to their young age). 

Every day, there was a new task on their agenda. There was another street to discover. One more café with a flavor of tea they hadn’t tried before. 

“Now, you have someone who can help you get to all those places you spoke about going to for ages,” Rey commented, looking up at her friend. “And someone who can keep up.”

Tallie gave her a warm smile, crystal blue eyes meeting hers. “And you’ve got someone who’s settled you down in the best of ways. Can give you that dream of stability and stillness you’ve always wanted.”

“So different, we truly are,” Rey said quietly, though it didn’t slip past Tallie, who hummed, shaking her head with a playful grin. 

“I don’t think so. You know you love this just as much as I do,” the older of the two teased before her eyes settled on Erik. She began to listen into Erik’s smooth German exchange with the desk receptionist. The woman gave him a smile and told him everything he needed to know, and with kind eyes, bid him a nice stay. Erik then walked over back to the women, gesturing to the elevator just down the hall. 

Erik gave Rey her own keycard to hers and Ben’s room. “You both are just down the hall. I thought you two would want the privacy.”

Rey took the card, astounded by the generosity of her new friend. “You didn’t have to; we would have been fine next to you.”

Erik shook his head with a genuine smile. “It wouldn’t have worked. The room next to ours is a Doppelzimmer.”

Tallie’s brow furrowed. “What does that mean?”

The man turned his gaze to her casually. “It means there are two separate beds in the room. You can push them together for two people to stay in if you wanted.”

Now, it was Rey’s turn to frown, confusion written across her face. “But isn’t that what Ben and I need?”

“In Germany,” Erik began to explain, “an Einzelzimmer is much more affordable than a paying for an individual person in an Doppelzimmer. They charge by the person, and it worked out that the beds in an Einzelzimmer here are big enough for two.” 

Rey blinked up to him, confounded, clutching the card in her right hand. Tallie had the same astounded expression by how much Erik truly knew about European culture. The taller man just shrugged, drumming his fist against the handle of his suitcase carefully. 

“I’ve been all over Europe and have stayed in this hotel many times,” he offered. 

“It shows,” Rey said, still with a bewildered look in her eye. Slowly, she rose from her seat and placed her hand on the handle of the suitcase, looking around for her husband. 

“I saw him walk around the corner,” Erik told her kindly, answering the question she was thinking mentally. With a grin, she thanked him and decided to stay put until Ben returned. 

Tallie looked at her watch. “We should meet up in about an hour to go meet Iva at the Flora und Botanischer Garten Köln.” 

“I’m surprised you have the names of the places down pat,” Rey commented amusingly, eyebrows raising as she looked at Tallie. 

Tallie grinned smugly, sliding off the back of the chair. “It’s all in the journal, Babe. And many, many YouTube videos.”

“Ah,” Rey said softly, receiving a wink from the woman. Erik huffed out a laugh, placing his hands on Tallie’s shoulders lovingly. 

“We’re on the second floor. Room two seventeen. You all are two twenty-one. Come back down whenever you have had enough time to rest.”

“An hour,” she looked Rey dead in the eye, a serious expression washing over her face, half-teasingly. “You have an hour.”

“I think that should be directed more towards yourself, Tal,” Rey laughed happily. “Don’t get distracted with making yourself pretty. You already are.”

Erik had begun directing her towards the direction of the elevators while she was still looking at Rey. “You don’t know the struggle it is to look like this.”

“Sure,” Ben chimed in as he made his way back to his wife, hands thumbing through a few pamphlets he had discovered. His eyes looked from Rey, who looked happy to see him, then to the other woman. “But do you know the struggle it is to look at it?”

Rey’s lips parted in surprise, corners of her mouth quirking up into a smile as she looked at Tallie with wide, expecting eyes. Tallie shook her head furiously, cheeks burning with a scarlet heat. 

“You wish you knew what a struggle looks like, cause clearly, you’re thoroughly amused, if not aroused.”

“Clearly, because this is the face of amusement.” Ben acknowledged her retort with a roll his eyes, standing close to Rey as he looked over two the two. Tallie huffed herself into the elevator, causing Rey to giggle. 

Once they were gone, Ben turned his gaze down to his wife, who was already gazing up at his taller form. 

“Where did you run off to,” Rey asked him, still holding their keycard and the handle to the suitcase. Ben presented her the little pamphlets, written in German and proper English (much to Rey’s benefit), on things to do around the city.

“I was looking at the size of this place and what they offer.” He shrugged his shoulders. “They have a lot of stuff around the corner that involves improving wellness. The dining room is straight and to the left. Ball rooms are farther down. Information desk to the right.” His voice hitched into something silly that made Rey laugh quietly in the lively space around them. 

“I’m glad you searched the area. I have our card if you think it’s safe enough for us to continue on.”

“Hold on,” he said, turning his back to her, slowly scoping the rest of the space around them, hand reaching back to hold onto her. “Stay behind me; I’ll cover you in case we’re surrounded.”

“Ben!” Rey giggled as her child of a husband pretended to be a shield for her as if they were in the middle of a video game raid. “We are in a professional establishment!”

As she began to pull the luggage towards the elevators, no longer depending on him to act like an adult, he circled her protectively. What made her roll her eyes the most, with the silliest of laughs, was how he was holding the pamphlets between his fingers and had made finger guns as his means of defense. After Rey entered, Ben backed into the elevator, skeptically looking both directions for no one to follow. He didn’t give up the act until his wife, now ready to get a move on, fisted her hand at the neck of his shirt and pulled him into the metal contraption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! 
> 
> Here’s a little comfort fluff chapter after that last whirlwind. <3 
> 
> I love fluff. But I’m afraid it’s too perfect sometimes and not real enough. Oh well, this is fiction and WE NEED FLUFFY THINGS!
> 
> And now we move onto finding out about Rey!! :-D
> 
> Please leave your thoughts on how you enjoy the story so far, or if you have some ideas to help make it even better! Your feedback has meant the world to me! 
> 
> Stay safe and drink some water! Wash your hands and take care! 
> 
> All my love! X


	33. Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Here's to showing light,  
> To fists unraveling, to glass unshattering.  
> To breaking all the rules, to breaking bread again.  
> We’re swallowing light, we’re swallowing our pride.  
> We’re raising our glass, ’til we’re fixed from the inside.
> 
> 'Til we're fixed from the inside.”  
> —Taste; Sleeping At Last
> 
> —
> 
> The four meet with Iva, who gives them all the answers they have longed to know.

After the hour, like Tallie had scheduled for them, Ben and Rey headed back downstairs to wait for their travel guides—Erik, and all his active brain cells. When the metal doors opened, they saw no sight of their friends, which caused Ben to smirk smugly. 

“Does this mean we’re unchaperoned?” Ben’s gaze turned downwards to Rey as they exited the elevator, a playful ring in his voice. Rey looked around the open area to make sure they weren’t in a different place. 

“Yes,” she said distractedly. “But I’m afraid of what might happen if we leave you unattended.”

Ben scoffed, amused by her comment. “Are you suggesting that I’m not capable of handling myself alone?”

Rey giggled, a complacent smirk bewitching her lips as she wound her way through the seats. “Let’s just say your guardian angel drinks once you’re back under supervision.”

Ben’s eyes rolled, though feeling thoroughly impressed with Rey’s sarcastic remark. He followed her, hands sliding into the pockets of his light denim jeans, pushing past the tied sleeves of his gray, black, and white flannel tied around his waist. 

While they were upstairs, they had freshened up and Rey changed into something more suitable for the spring weather. She chose a simple, striped, spaghetti strap sundress that was colored with white, gray, sky blue, and baby pink paired with a tan cardigan. Ben thought she looked so lovely, letting her know just how he felt with several kisses placed from the top of her head down to her collarbone, to which he reached by pulling her into his arms on their comfortable bed. He wasn’t shy to admit that in the hour they had to themselves, they laid around like two teenagers and kissed each other until they were breathless. 

Let’s just say, Rey had to touch up her lipstick before they left. 

Her hand went to cradle the bottom of her bump as the two waited for their friends, who, after five more minutes, finally made haste from the elevator. Just like Rey had predicted, Tallie was completely changed as well, sporting a pair of chic overalls with a white tee, white head wrap on her head with a cute bow. 

“I told you that changing would make you late,” Rey disapproved with a smile, absolutely adoring the look her friend was sporting. Tallie huffed out a breath and put her hands on her hips. 

“I don’t see you in the same outfit as before,” she replied, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Yes,” agreed the other woman, “but it didn’t take me the full hour.”

“You’ll have to forgive us,” Erik chimed in. “If you can believe it, she did nothing for a long time, and then decided to get ready.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” A knowing look passed onto Rey’s features. “She used to do the same thing when we were girls. Always difficult, she had to be.” 

“I don’t know where all this rubbish about me being a ‘difficult person’ is coming from,” Tallie crossed her arms over her chest in defense. “I’m a constant fucking delight who can perform miracles and just be five minutes behind.”

“Well, you don’t need to be snarky about it,” Ben added, and Tallie through him a look. “But the miracle you do need to be performing is getting us interested in this ‘adventure’ of yours.”

Tallie huffed out a cocky laugh before she decided to take the lead. “Gladly, Solo. Wouldn’t want you to start thinking you were in control.” She held out a hand for Rey with giddy. “Let’s go find some gardens, Pet. I think you need to get a prettier view than that heap of pessimism you have on your arm.”

Rey took the girl’s hand with a broad smile, allowing herself to be pulled towards the exit with her friend. They leaned in close to one another, giggling like the school girls they used to be and sharing heaven knows what. Ben assumed it was about him, knowing Tallie’s badgering personality. 

The older man have Erik a look, who shook his head, an amusing smile forming upon his lips. “I really don’t know how you put up with that, Erik.”

“Consider how I handle her the way Rey handles you,” Erik replied, giving him a astute expression before clapping his hand against Ben’s shoulder. “It’s best if we try to keep close to them because they’re already going the wrong direction.”

—

The four of them found their way to the beautiful garden that Iva had agreed to meet them at, after several wrong turns from Tallie’s horridly inaccurate understanding of the German language. Though they walked ahead of the men, Erik and Ben consistently called from behind whenever they turned the wrong way down a different street. 

The beautiful flowers that dotted the landscape were just starting to bloom, marking little patches of red and pink, as well as yellow and orange and other springy colors. It looked as majestic as the Schönberg palace in Vienna and all the botany in the private gardens, remarked Tallie, as the large estate sat guarding the precious garden against the outside world. 

After the lot of them had walked through the kind pathways, to which Rey had taken to Ben’s side again, Erik spotted the small Czech woman who was waiting patiently on a bench in the sunlight. She was admiring the yellow and pink flowers that sat on either side of the wooden seat with a smile on her face. She looked about Rey’s age, and mesmerized the friends with her striking green eyes when she looked up upon the approaching visitors. 

Iva broke out into a smile when she saw them, saying a greeting in her native language to Erik, giving him a quick hug. Her arms then proceeded to reach out for Tallie, hugging her close, seeming to have a deep connection. 

Erik and the foreign woman exchanged a quick conversation before he turned to the rest of the group he came along with. “Iva knows some English, but is not a hundred percent fluent. She’s willing to try, though.”

“If she did it with me all those years ago,” Tallie said with sparkling crystal eyes and a large smile as she held on to Iva in the older woman’s embrace, “who had not a wink of study in Czech, she can do it now.”

Iva nodded her head with a warm smile. “Talissen is right. I still have enough knowledge of your dialect to communicate with you. Thank you for meeting me halfway. It is a long journey from London to Deutschland.”

“Please,” Tallie brushed off the woman’s kind gesture. “It was nothing.”

“Don’t pride yourself too much,” Ben squinted his eyes at the ever-enthusiastic girl. “I don’t think your ego could handle it.”

“You know,” Tallie squinted her eyes right back at him. “If karma doesn’t hit you, I think I will.”

Erik immediately turned his head to Iva and spoke to her in Czech quietly. Iva laughed at what he said, and glanced between the bickering members of the group. Then, Erik spoke up in English. 

“I’ve just apologized for your childishness, so please try and keep it to a minimum,” he warned the two, then directed Iva’s attention to Rey. 

“Iva, this is Rey, the girl I spoke to you about over the phone,” Erik introduced, gesturing to Rey, who had her hand wrapped around Ben’s bicep (as much as she could) trying to restrain him from making another comment. She gave the woman a kind smile. 

“Oh, this is her!” Iva’s eyes were wide in fascination as she peered at Rey closely, taking in every detail she could. “I have been waiting to meet you!”

She stuck out a hand to Rey, clearly familiar with customary English greetings. Rey didn’t want to overstep in her own introduction, so silently, she was thankful Iva initiated it first. She took the small woman’s hand in hers, shaking politely. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Iva.”

Iva grinned. “And the same to you. Erik and Talissen, they told me about you many years ago, but I never would have believed you would be coming!”

Rey blinked, continuing to be amazed by everything she was learning so quickly. She wondered how long Tallie had known. “Believe me, I never would have guessed I would be here, either. Oh,” Rey added realizing that Ben deserved a proper introduction. “Iva, this is my husband, Ben. Excuse the first impression he made on you,” she finished, nearly scolding him for his behavior a moment ago with a disapproving look. 

Ben extended a hand to greet the woman. “Ben Solo,” he said, giving Rey a look, then a grin to the woman. “It’s nice to meet you, Iva.”

“Husband,” she nearly sung, shaking his hand politely. “A very fine one, you have.” Her hand patted the top of Ben’s before pulling back with wondrous eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Tallie rolled her eyes, putting her hands on her hips. “We know. Rey’s emo princess really did fall from the heavens,” she jeered at Ben, who gave her a glare as returned his hands back to his jean pockets. “How was your trip?”

A laugh escaped the woman, the depth of her voice warm and inviting, something Rey didn’t expect. “No trouble with my trip,” she said with a batting of her hand. “Come now, all of you, and I will tell you all you desire to know.”

Iva escorted Tallie over to a picnic table somewhere on the grounds, surrounded by sunlight, fresh air, beautiful flowers, and the sounds of birds chirping and children playing. Erik followed them, admiring every bit of the glorious handiwork of nature, while the married couple spoke under their breath about Ben’s strong distaste in Tallie. Rey hushed him repetitively, not daring for them to overhear the crude statements he made—for no one, not even herself should have heard them—and tried to calm down his rattling frustration. 

Once they all gathered, Iva sat down next to Rey and Ben, Tallie and Erik taking the opposite bench. As if on cue, Iva pulled out a leather-bound journal that looked as if it had waged war against time. 

“Where would you like to start, young friend,” Iva asked Rey, who looked from her to the journal before she responded. 

“Well,” she began, fidgeting nervously with her hands. “All that I know is that whoever my parents were, they abandoned me at a hospital in London on May fifteenth, nineteen ninety-one. I grew up in an orphanage there until I was eighteen and never caught wind of who my family could be.”

Iva nodded. “And your friend, Tallissen, told you that a cousin of mine had a child in the same year on the same day, yes?”

“Yes, and informed me that the birth certificate wasn’t signed.”

Iva nodded. “I am sure you are aware that this could be someone not connected to you or your family line, yes?”

“Of course, which is what I tried to tell her, but she was adamant that it is me.” Rey looked at Tallie who gave her a displeased look. The other woman shrugged casually, merely explaining the truth. 

“Yes, yes. I can see why she would think so. Have you a copy of your birth certificate,” Iva asked with a quirked brow. 

“We have hers at our home in the States,” Ben answered the older woman. “We weren’t sure if Rey could get access to it in London on time before we left since she has dual citizenship there.”

Iva released a breath and picked up the journal from the table. “I don’t know how much good this will be for you, but I can try. My mother had this journal hidden away in a trunk that stored the remaining pieces of her life near Slovakia. I will read to you what she wrote.” 

With an inhale, she turned to the page that was book marked, and looked as if the pages have been turned to more than just the last week. 

_“January sixteenth, nineteen ninety-one;  
My aunt’s called me many times today, most of them in fear of her husband’s brooding and potential actions against his people. She finds him cruel and hungry for power. She prays her son never turns out to be this way, for the plans are too inhumane for her to describe. I heard trembling in her voice, like she was scared someone was listening. She promised to write, and I hope she does.” _

_“January twenty-seven; Aunt Karina wrote. The letter was long, describing in every detail of Sheev’s plan to reconstruct the ways of their country. He wants to plan a mass genocide against those who do not agree with his political stance, because they are a distraction to the greater good. She is scared. I see the trembling in her pendmenship. Even I have no words for how disgusting it is. Read this letter hidden within these pages.”_

“Do you still have those letters?” Tallie interrupted the woman across from her before she started another entry. Everyone was so enamored with just the two entires so far that it nearly scared Rey out of her own skin when Tallie spoke up. Ben had moved closer to her, a hand massaging the small of her back that had been giving her trouble lately.

After Iva’s eyes had also turned to Tallie, she pressed her lips together into a line, shaking her head slowly. “Mother has removed them. I do not know if she keeps them in her personal belongings or not.”

“Did she ever say what was in the letter?” Now, Rey had decided to speak up, looking at the older woman with her wide, almond eyes. 

Iva looked down to the journal. “She did not write about it. And she has never told me of a letter when I asked.” She looked up at the group solemnly. “More like she did not want me to know about it.”

The two friends nodded their heads slowly, gazes turning down as if they were embarrassed to have asked their questions. Ben continued to work his knuckles into the small of Rey’s back before he pressed a kiss to her shoulder reassuringly. 

Then, Iva looked to each of them. “May I continue?”

“Yes, please do,” Erik confirmed for them all. 

_“February ninth; Aunt Karina wrote me again, as did Marek. The news is bittersweet. Aunt Karina said that Marek is to have a child in the summer. That is such exciting news! However, he is not married to the girl, and Sheev is not happy. In fact, he nearly denied Marek his birthright of inheritance. She described the scene in which the news broke out. Sheev was enraged, voice like venom that poisoned his son. He nearly killed the boy, in the presence of the mother of his son, who was helpless and restrained under complete fear that he would behead her next. She wrote that she sobbed for her son later that night, trying to fight for his life, but Sheev did not listen. And that night was the last time she had seen Marek._

_Marek’s letter was identical in context but brief in transcription. He told me of how he and Julia were running away, somewhere safe from his father’s wrath. He wouldn’t give me precise locations, but he instructed for me to remain at my address so that someone may have contact on his whereabouts. He mentioned a baby, and more details to come._

_Oh, how I pray for a peace in my family’s agony!”_

_“March three; It had been a while since I last heard from Marek, but a letter finally reached me. Now that he and Julia believed they were safe, he described in more detail what happened. A baby was to be born, and his father was not happy by it. It nearly killed the older man to have his name demolished by a baby born out of wedlock. He even promised to marry Julia so that no shame would be brought to the name, but Sheev would not stand for it. He spoke of the physical altercation that broke out there in the dining room between father and son. Sheev came very close to ending Marek’s life with the brutal force of his own hand. Eventually, Sheev let go and gave his son a proposition. He may remain in the family and earn his inheritance only if he forfeits his child to the hand of his father to be raised up as the rightful heir to the empire he was building._

_Marek refused and decided to run away with Julia. The walls had been torn down in Germany, so they were able to go wherever they wanted. They could make it to London, which was actually their final destination. There was no way his father would ever set foot in opposing territory since the fall of the Soviets.”_

Iva’s words ran cold through Rey’s body as she told of the depressing events. Whoever this man was, Sheev Palpatine, he was a traitor, a monster, a murderer. It made Rey feel physically sick at just how ruthless and inhumane power can change someone. 

She could feel Ben’s composure stiffen, more than likely because of his own thoughts. He was one to brood on the possible scenarios that could happen in a situation. Rey was more than certain he was spiraling down a rabbit hole with ideas as to how dangerous this could be for his wife. 

With an inhale, Iva continued:

_“April twenty; No word from Aunt Karina. I’m not sure if she’s overwhelmed by the weight of grief of losing her son and grandchild, or if it’s the oppression of her husband. I hate this for her. If only I could do something to get her out..._

_Marek wrote, however. He and Julia are safe somewhere in Germany, enjoying their freedom and the beginnings of their little family. He found a job and was securely providing them with the necessities they needed. She found work as well, and a doctor to provide prenatal services for her. They also were married at the end of March. An eloping ceremony, he called it. Something like in Romeo and Juliet...”_

_“April twenty-nine; Sheev found Marek. Or at least found out where he’s been hiding. My cousin wrote this to me a little over a week after his first letter, describing how he had to steal away from the Splatz in Germany so he could keep Julia and the baby safe. They are on the run yet again, and his father’s massive manipulation over the people caused riots, massacre, and destruction. He did all he could to not look back at the flames of the little village as he and Julia drove away to find a better place._

_That’s all his letter could say as he was still on the run. It’s still not safe for them.”_

Tallie inhales a sharp breath of air, gasping at just how horrible the events began to turn. Her hand immediately covered her mouth, crystal eyes imploring for Iva to be telling a fiction, not a memoir. Erik’s hand went to her back, rubbing gentle circles to soothe his partner’s trembling.

Rey was now crying silently, having turned towards Ben to hide her streaming tears. Ben did his best to comfort her, offering her a small pack of tissues from her purse. He looked at her with such sorrow in his eyes, but she knew that this horror was nothing new to him. When he was at war, he saw the same things, was in the middle of riots and massacres, by his own hand and by others. Ben knew that was war, and it broke Rey’s heart even more. 

“Oh, Rey,” Iva extended a hand to pat the girl’s shoulder comfortingly, remorse in her eyes. “I can stop if this upsets you.”

“No,” Rey answered bravely, wiping the corner of her eye carefully. “Please finish. They deserve to have their story told.”

With a slow nod, Iva picked the journal back up and went on. 

_“May sixth; Another word from Marek. Julia is beginning to feel contractions and so it is putting her out of work for a little while. They have managed to find a place in London, but they aren’t sure how long they can call it home. Especially with the baby nearly ready to be born. They’re save from Sheev, but continue to hear through the newspapers that there is a political giant reaping havoc in many places he’s assumed Marek would be. Julia calms her husband down each time, though, and reassures his sense of confidence as protector and provider of their family._

_They’re going to be good parents. That baby will be so loved.”_

_“May thirtieth; the baby was born, but Marek and Julia were no longer parents._

_Sheev found them again and threatened anyone he could to find his son and the ‘whore he knocked up.’ He was said to have appeared devilish and inhuman with rage, but Marek never saw his father._

_Julia was in labor for two days with the baby, and eventually gave birth in the early hours of the morning. The first day of sunshine poured into the room, something unusual for the London weather as the baby squirmed beneath their blanket. The baby is a girl with tufts of reddish brown hair and freckles, like Marek’s own. She didn’t weigh much, but her father felt like the weight of the world was now his the moment that baby girl was placed in his hands._

_She was alive, but they weren’t with her._

_Threats of an intruder and a hostage whispered throughout the hospital as the sounds of sirens and screams drew close to where the little family was located. Marek says it was the hardest thing he and Julia ever had to do, but they knew it was for the best._

_The baby shouldn’t have to spend their life running away from evil. She didn’t deserve that, and she couldn’t help who her family was._

_With silent sobs tearing apart the new parents, they wrote a single name on a piece of paper in the room, leaving it with the baby in the cot. They hadn’t signed the birth certificate on that fifteenth day in May, but they left the little girl in the hands of fate so she may be free from the oppression of her grandfather._

_They ran. They ran as far as they could, and left the baby with no name, no history, nothing. Certificates were registered with the Prime Minister after the baby was born, is supposedly how it happens in London._

_He told me that this would probably be one of the last few letters since their escape was no longer for a purpose. They were just nomads now, trying to find safety. And if his father caught him, so he did. Nothing mattered anymore except for the hope they had for that little girl._

_His last words in his letter continue to make me weep:_

_‘Oh Rey, sweet little Rey of sunshine. You were named after the glimpse of hope that appeared when you entered this world. Everything was right. Everything was easy—But only for a moment. You made our world right again just by your entrance. Life was good. Your mother and I love you so much, and hope that you have a life free from pain, from the oppression.’_

_I’ll never forget how empty I felt after reading his last letter. I felt I had watched a war from words on a page. I read a lifetime of troubles and grief, only for it to end with more pain. I lost my cousin that day. And I have yet to receive any other word from him.”_

Tallie was completely reduced to sobbing as Iva read the final words of the entries. She had laid her head down on the picnic table, hiding her sobs beneath her arms. Erik’s eyes were also glistening with tears as he wrapped his arm around the woman’s shoulders, leaning into her. 

Iva was also crying by this point, though she kept her voice steady, as if she had read these entries before. Her gaze was downcast as she closed the weathered journal, pressing it against her chest solemnly. 

Rey was numb. She couldn’t feel a single thing as the world around her seemed to finally connect but crumble at the same time. Her gaze was fixed on nothing, though she saw images all around her, hearing nothing yet all kinds of sounds. If this is what madness felt like, then she was in the deepest pit of it. 

Eventually, the woman came to as Ben grasped both of her shoulders, eyes studying her frantically as he tried to get her to respond. She didn’t register his voice until she finally felt something pull her back to reality. 

With the littlest of movements, her babies wriggled inside her, causing her mind to immediately anchor back down into the moment. Finally, she began to hear the frantic calls of her husband’s voice. 

“Rey,” Ben said, nearly desperate to hear her respond to him, terrified that she may have slipped deep into the recesses of her own mind, her own depression. He knew that this was not a good idea for her, especially in her emotional state. However, she eventually began to blink away the hazy gleam to her eyes, bringing herself back to the moment. 

“Rey,” he repeated once more, and this time, she responded. Her head turned a little, brow crinkling as her eyes searched his. Relief flooded onto his features, only to be frozen by another wave of panic as he went to inspect. 

“Are you okay?” 

She hesitated, taking the moment to look around the table at her friends. They were all watching her, nervously expecting her response, all the more heartbroken for her. Turning her head back to Ben, she responded. 

“Yeah, I’m alright.” 

Iva reaches out to rub Rey’s back soothingly, wiping away her own tears. “I am so sorry, Rey. This must be such hardship on you.”

Rey turned her body towards the older woman, a kind, but distant smile on her face. “I greatly appreciate you meeting with us, with me, today. Thank you for reading your mother’s story.”

“I have one more question for you, Rey,” Iva told her, eyes trained steadily on the woman’s earth hazel eyes. 

Rey hummed with a confused expression. 

“I am willing to video call my mother right now. She is still living, and knew Marek very well. Maybe she can confirm that this is you.”

Rey nodded her head once she glanced back at Ben, making sure this was a good decision to make. He only gave her a shrug, eyes still full of concern for his wife and her mental sanity. At Rey’s consent, Iva went to work. 

Eventually, the older woman answered the phone, looking down onto the screen with glasses on the bridge of her nose. She held the phone as the traditional older generation would trying to work a smartphone. Iva looked just like her, doing the same confused expressions to the camera, and it made Tallie giggle away the last bit of her tears. 

They all listened as Iva spoke in her native language to her “Maminka.” Occasionally, she would hear the names Marek and Julia, Sheev, and her very own thrown throughout a sentence. Her eyes lingered on the screen, even though Ružena couldn’t see her. The older woman’s expression became skeptical until she agreed to see Rey. 

The moment Rey appeared on the screen, with Ben behind her in the frame as well, Ružena saw her clearly and immediately gasped. Tears filled her eyes as her hand came up to cover her mouth. Quietly, Rey heard her mumble, _“Drahá sestřenice!”_

To that, Iva also gasped, and Erik whimpered from across the fable before he hid his face in his hands. Ben looked over to the emotionally soft man, brow furrowed as it was Tallie’s turn to comfort him. 

Rey had no idea what was happening, so she continued to listen to Iva speak to Ružena. The exchange between them was so fast, but she definitely heard Marek and Julia’s name repeated multiple times, as if she was confirming that Rey was theirs. The mother and daughter continued to speak, finalizing a few next steps before they bid farewell to each other, and Ružena to her cousin’s daughter—Rey. 

Iva released a heavy breath as she sat her phone down on the table. She took a moment to compose herself as the rest of the members of the watched. Erik was still trying to gather his feelings, with the help of Tallie patting his leg comfortingly. 

“My mother will be sending me a photo of Marek and Julia she has. I will show it to you,” Iva said calmly, to which Rey nodded in understanding. 

“She also wanted me to confirm that there is no denying you are Marek’s daughter. However, that does make you a Palpatine. It titles you a heir to a destructive influencer in European history.” 

Rey knew this was serious, and her blood boiled at the mere thought of being related to such a horrible man. Ben’s family didn’t have these problems. His family line was pretty secure, despite his grandfather having a few anger difficulties. Her head swam with new information that seemed unreal to her, like it was something out of a dream. 

“She does know the location where Sheev resides,” Iva offered, looking at Rey intently. The three English speakers sat up quickly, and Tallie, spending for the first time in a while, pressed forward with the questions. 

“Where is he,” Tallie interjected, crystal eyes full of curiosity, yet a burning anger for the man who caused so much grief to his family. 

“He resides along the boarder of Slovakia in Bratislava. It’s an estate he and Karina built many years after the escape of their son.”

Erik, who was still sniffling away tears, was already on his phone searching for easiest ways to get to the city. “We can make it there and find a flight now.”

_“Now?”_ Finally, it was Ben’s turn to speak up. He had held his tongue the entire trip, especially after his and Tallie’s little run in at the airport in Heathrow. It was not fair for him, or for Rey, to have to go on the escapades, in the dark, and completely impromptu. They were parents, they were expecting, and, most importantly, both of them were dealing with mental health issues and had yet to be seen by someone about them. How dare Tallie and Erik demand so much from them, knowing full well that this wasn’t their life?

It only made his blood boil even hotter for Rey’s friend and how reckless and spoiled to a fantasy life in the sky away from reality. 

Maybe this is how his family felt about him after he left. 

“No way, I don’t think now is the best time for Rey to be doing that. Any of this, for that matter,” he concluded. 

Tallie scowled at him. “How would you know? You’re not Rey, and you didn’t just have your whole origin story and it’s depressing turn of events poured out on the table.”

Ben deepened his glare on Tallie. “I know because she’s my _wife_ , Tallissen. Regardless if you’ve known her your whole childhood, it doesn’t mean you know her now.”

Overwhelmed by all the chaotic emotions surrounding her, Rey began to feel slightly lightheaded. Slowly, even though the world was spinning, she rose from her seat on the bench. Tallie and Ben ceased their arguing to watch her, Ben’s hand immediately reaching out to steady her trembling form. 

“Sweetheart, you’re shaking,” Ben entreated with her. “Please sit down before you fall.”

Rey shook her head. “No, I don’t think I can sit here right now.” Her eyes were trained on her husband before darting over to Tallie. “I really just need to take a walk, get some air.”

“Rey,” Tallie pleased, beginning to rise from her seat, which caused Ben to shoot daggers with his gaze at her. “Let someone come with you—.”

“Alone, preferably,” she asserted with firmness, gaze growing serious as she looked at Tallie. “I can’t hear myself bloody think with the two of you, so please, let me take this moment.” With that, Rey began walking back up to the path, hands clasped beneath her baby bump, finally able to take a deep breath from the hell she had just been trapped in. 

—

“How _dare_ you tell me, in front of my own wife, that I don’t know her?”

Tallie turned on her heel from where she was walking away furiously from Ben. Her crystal eyes were hostile, as were his, now a darker shade a brown than she remembered. He was furious, fuming with such a violent anger. 

“Because it’s true, Ben. You don’t know her one bit!”

“Oh, thats clearly untrue,” Ben spit, taking her wrist in his large, nearly painful grasp and dragged the pest of a woman—in his opinion—farther away where others couldn’t hear. “She’s been out of London for eleven years, Tallissen. Eleven. A whole decade plus a year. People fucking change during that long of a time.”

Tallie ripped her hand from Ben’s hold viciously. “You have no idea what kind of life she deserves, Ben. You don’t know how it used to be here, when she was homeless, living in shelters, jumping from foster home to foster home, being beaten, abused, and constantly running from her reality.” She was panting now, nearly losing all her breath and shredding her voice from almost screaming at him. 

“I was her only friend,” she continued with tears in her eyes. “I watched her day-in and day-out struggle and have to brave all the horrible things of the world alone for nearly twelve years. She had no one but me, and in those most private of times, she would cry and cry, begging for me to help in some way. Pleading for someone to take it away. I cried to my parents many a time for them to foster her, but we couldn’t. The girl stayed in our home more times than I can count, mainly because I snuck her in. To this day I don’t know if my parents are aware of it. 

“Now, all these years later, I can finally help, Ben. I can help give her the information she’s always wanted. I can help her find the family she’s desired to know.”

Ben’s eyes were also welled up with tears, his chin quivering ever so slightly before he implored with the younger woman. “But I do know what she deserves. I hate knowing Rey had to grow up like that. That is no life for a child, especially an extraordinary child like her. And it’s touching that you want to help her now, Tallie, it truly is. But you don’t know. You don’t know the life she has now in the States. The life she’s created for herself. The life we have made for each other.” 

Ben took a breath before he continued. “She loves it there, it’s where she went to school, where our daughter is, where our twins are going to be born. Where our friends, our family are—my parents, uncle, cousins—it’s all there.” He wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand frustratingly. 

“It’s where she has learned that she’s not defined by her past. It’s where she’s no longer hurt, or homeless, or hopeless. This place, London—fucking hell, we’re in Germany—it’s painful to be here. It’s painful for her. I’m not supposed to be here. I wasn’t supposed to leave my child behind to fly across the world. We agreed that I would stay with Ivy so she wouldn’t feel the abandonment like Rey did, but this place brings back so many painful memories for her.”

Tallie’s gaze has softened, her mouth closing with a slight frown, brow crinkled as tears rolled down her cheeks. The words Ben told her were true. Rey had been gone the same amount of time that Tallie had known her and been her friend. Rey’s adult life was one that she was determined to make better than her adolescent years, so yes, change was inevitable. 

However, what she didn’t know was just how far Rey had put her past behind. How far Rey and put her behind. 

And Ben, too. His memories of her were buried just as deep. 

“Rey deserves at least this, Ben,” Tallie said finally, looking up to the broken man who had no idea what to do. Her eyes were steady on him, despite glistening with tears. “This is the last part of her past that deserves to be resolved. Then after that, she can close the door on it forever.”

Ben remained silent, inferring what the woman was referring to. Tallie finally understood. Things are different, Rey is different, he is different. They don’t dwell in their pasts because they’re no longer running from it, like Tallie was. They accepted their cruel fate and had made the change. Now, it was time for Tallie to do the same. 

His heart broke for the woman who stood across from him, despite being a thorn in his side. Once she fulfilled the only thing Rey had begged her to do, Tallie would willingly sacrifice her grip on her. She would finally be providing his wife with the one thing that she knew Rey begged to know all her life. 

It was nearly heroic. 

“Tal,” he murmured, lip quivering as he extended an arm out to the woman. After a moment, Tallie began to crumble and wondered into his embrace. There, she unraveled in sobs, heart ripping itself into shreds as she realized the weight of the moment. It was almost as if her friend really had died. The girl she once knew, gone. The one that would share secrets with her in the middle of the night, dreams of her future, even their future friendship together. 

The one that begged her to save the day was no longer in need of saving. And not because Ben became her superhero, but because Rey had become her own. 

—

She had a family. 

It filled Rey with such an ambiguous feeling to be able to say that. It took years of her asking to finally find the answers, but now she knew. 

That was supposed to be exciting, right?

But the tragedy of knowing where she came from was heartbreaking. Her parents had just survived a war, an actual war, before Palpatine raged one even harder against his own blood. Marek and Julia were her parents. She had a mother. She had a father. Real people who sacrificed a life of luxury for her. For her safety. Because they loved her. 

So, needless to say, Rey was utterly perplexed at how to feel about all of this. Relieved? Grateful? Melancholy? 

Bittersweet is what she decided to call the feeling. 

Her sandal-clad feet led her further into the gardens in that sunny afternoon, heart soaring at just how beautiful the blooming flowers were. The yellows, reds, and oranges filled her with warmth, despite the sun shining effortlessly on her face. 

She walked slowly, feeling herself begin to stride a little differently from the weight of the twins and the exhaustion she was experiencing. However, she didn’t mind. Those two littles were her saving grace in that moment of chaos. They are what reminded her to breathe, to keep going, and to always be present. 

Truly, with her heightened emotions, she was able to see how important it was to be in every moment, especially with her daughter who was growing like a weed. Like _ivy._

Rey had stopped to read the little plaque before a bed of flowers and a statue in memorial to a German hero when she heard footsteps approach her.

It was Ben. He had his hands in his pockets, looking very soft from the raging emotions they had to deal with for the day. With one hand cradling her bump, she gave him a warm, closed smile as he approached. 

“Somehow,” he said with his famous grin, “we held the fort down while you’ve been away. Pretty big wind storms, tore right through the camp. Blew down a couple of soldiers.”

Rey giggled happily as he stepped closer, watching as he kept himself at a distance, but close enough to be an arms reach away. She closed the distance between them, leaning up on her tiptoes to press a gentle kiss to his lips. 

“My sincerest gratitude is yours,” she responded with a smile, hazel eyes gleaming up at him. Her hands went back to cup the bottom of her bump, and Ben could have swore his eyes turned into hearts as he watched. 

“I was worried you were going to get lost,” he said kindly, hands still relaxed in his pockets. Now, there was barely a fraction of space between her and him, but neither of them refused to reach out, knowing that space was still a desire. 

Rey nodded her head towards the direction she was about to go in before he stopped her. Indicating she was ready to move, Ben stepped around her to slowly lead the way down the concrete path. 

“Have you so little faith in me?” She looked up to him with an amused expression, lips curling into a smile as she watched him chuckle under his breath. 

“Only when you become so excited over things and literally leave my side to investigate it further. Like BeeBee, honestly.”

Rey laughed, heart warming at the thought of their precious pooch. 

Ben sighed, looking ahead at the beautiful landscape before them. “I miss walking our dog.” 

“When we get home, we all can go for walks. Maybe Ivy and start learning how to ride her bicycle with training wheels.”

“Oh god,” Ben huffed, a pang of sadness with the impact of her words. “That’s a whole different door of emotions I’m not ready to open yet.”

His wife giggled once again, this time wrapping her hand around Ben’s bicep that was closest to her, holding onto him as they walked slowly. “Don’t worry. They’re just training wheels. She’s just going from three wheels to four.”

“Be careful with that, though. Someone could confuse four wheels with a car rather than a training bike.”

“Only you would, my Love, because of how much you tend to brood over irrational things.”

Ben grinned, amused at her statement. “Sure. But the day you wish those four wheels were on a training bike again, I’ll remember this moment. And I’ll say, ‘nope. This time, it means car. C. A. R.,’”

“How rude of you,” Rey smiled, scrunching her nose up at him as she pinched the inside of his arm carefully, “so many years in advance!”

Ben tried to pull his arm back slightly, laughing happily—a stark contrast to the mood they were in before. “Come on, you’ll be laughing too.”

Her eyes rolled playfully as her smile still lingered on her face. They were okay. The two of them just needed space after all of that, for Rey to work out her own emotions as Ben unleashed his. With a happy sigh, her hand found its spot once more, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. 

“You still have our passports in your purse, right?”

Rey nodded. “Of course. We have to have them while we’re in the city.”

“Right,” Ben agreed with a curt nod. “But today, we’re going to need them for our flight to Bratislava.”

Rey stopped in her tracks, causing Ben to stumble just a tad. She still gripped onto his bicep, which allowed her to pull him back from where he stopped. “What does that supposed to mean?”

“It means exactly what I said,” he shrugged, turning his body to face the other direction. Rey waved her hands in bewilderment, brow crinkling in confusion. 

“But I thought you didn’t want us to go?” Her gaze softened on him at her next choice of words. “I thought you were worried about me traveling so much.”

“I still am,” Ben said sheepishly, a hand going up to rub the back of his neck. “But this is a part of your life that deserves to be known. We’ve come this far, found out so many incredible things,” he continued, dropping his hands to reach for hers, taking them carefully in his steady grasp. 

“You deserve this, Rey.” His gaze was soft and steady on the beautiful woman. “For the shitty life you lived before we met, you deserve this last bit of justice. Plus, why the hell should we Solos walk right past another adventure?”

She giggled, a precious song in his ear. “It‘s definitely not what Leia and Han would do.”

Ben grinned. “No, it’s not. We’re too young to be so serious. If I ever get too uptight for my age, don’t let your old, worn-down husband stop you from doing what you want.”

Rey gripped onto his hands firmly, eyes sparkling with the excited joy he absolutely adored. “My old, worn-down husband has done a lot more in the last short number of days than I have, though.”

“But you’re doing so while harvesting my tiny humans,” he teased, using whatever alien nerd knowledge he possessed to make her laugh with such glee. “Strap those twins around you in your carrier wrap, on the front and the back, and you’ve got yourself an adventure.”

“And Ivy?”

“You’re kidding if you think I won’t be joining. She’ll take her resident spot on my back or shoulders.”

Rey smiled up to him. “So, does this mean we’ll be doing more adventures?”

“It means,” he took one his his hands to brush some of her hair behind her ear, “that we don’t have to be as nervous about our next steps. Ivy’s old enough to hold her own, and I have a feeling that the way we raise our littlest children will be different than how we raised Ivy.”

“How so?”

“Less anxiety—about dropping a newborn or being a bad parent. There’ll definitely be anxiety though. Having two at the same time as a five-year-old is no easy feat.”

A bum vibrates against Rey’s lips. “Then I’m glad Rey is such a good girl.”

Ben nodded. “I just hope she stays that way. She’s so spoiled to being the only one. It makes me nervous.”

“Hey,” Rey scolded gently, eyes looking up to him seriously. “No anxiety, remember?”

Her husband chuckled, running a hand through his hair as the breeze blew it into his face. “Right. No anxiety. We’ll take it as it comes.”

Once she knew he was going to be okay, she smiled at the man who held the key to her heart. He was part of the reason that made the life she had chosen worthwhile. Loving him was what she knew was meant for her, and something she could do so easily.

“I love you, so much, Ben.”

“I know,” he responded, closing the space between them to press one more kiss to her lips. “I love you, too.”

“Okay,” she said after a moment and a deep breath, a wide smile plastered on her face. “Let’s go to Bratislava.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Yay! Another chapter! 
> 
> It took me a while to flesh out all the details for this one. I’ve had the main story written for nearly a month now, but then I decided to change some things. 
> 
> Hopefully things from the last few chapters are finally starting to make sense! 
> 
> Writing has taken my mind away from the tragic world we live in, and creating such magical, happy moments for our friends makes everything so much better.
> 
> Regardless, I have the rest of this plot line written out, and some other backstories of Ben and Rey’s that I’d love to share!
> 
> Plus, I don’t know about you guys, but I miss Ivy and BeeBee. I might write a chapter about their adventures with Han and Leia. And Chewy.
> 
> Also, do you think Chewy should be a character? I’ve rewatched the whole saga, including the tv shows, and Chewy plays such a huge part in the lives of the the Skywalker family. It broke my heart at the end of TROS when he had lost everyone he loved. :’-(
> 
> Let me know your thoughts! Thank you so much for all the love for this story. Hopefully it can bring about some sweetness in this troubling time.
> 
> Wash your hands! Drink tons of water! Take care of and love yourself!
> 
> Toi, toi, toi!
> 
> All my love! X


	34. Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you listen just right, you can almost hear it  
> The symphony of secrecy, life, and fear  
> (the search for love, but finding fear)
> 
> Like a moth to the flame we become helpless  
> To the beautiful ghost  
> That true love sheds.
> 
> We all are running our very own races,  
> Set upon the most dangerous of places.  
> Are through it all,  
> We are left with a void in our chests,  
> We're aching to fill.”  
> —Ghosts; Sleeping At Last
> 
> —
> 
> The five of them entreat upon Palpatine’s manor and learn nearly all the secrets of Rey’s haunted familial past. However, those secrets are not the only ones revealed on that tragically endless day.

Rey never expected this to be such a gigantic rendezvous through Europe. 

But, like Ben had promised there in the gardens, they were to take life as it come and to not shy away from the unknown anymore. Ever since they had experienced the loss of their first baby, the two of them became so careful about everything—everything they did; everything they let Ivy do. But now, it was time for a change. They couldn’t live their lives in absolute fear of venturing out, or restricting them from incredible experiences. That just wasn’t fair. 

Thankfully, the flight was a relatively short one. Ben spent the time on his phone, making final revisions to his dissertation while Rey watched over his shoulder, offering curious suggestions. Even though Ben was nearly a certified professional on the English language, and knew that some of the things she suggest were not the best of choices, he modified his way around telling her she was wrong. 

He made sure to save a different copy. 

Though, she also asked him about his topic and what he had learned from it. He told her enthusiastically as her wide, hazel eyes gazed up at him. Her babies were so lucky to have such an intelligent father who could make up the best stories for them to giggle over for hours. Ivy absolutely adored when he would make them up during bedtime. She would squeak and squeal the entire time, looking between both of her parents as if she couldn’t believe what was being said.

Rey’s heart twinged at the thought of bedtime with Ivy. It was her absolute favorite time with her baby girl. For years, she and Ivy would rock in the comfortable rocking chair until the baby dozed off. Sometimes it required a story, which Ben tended to by laying on the floor, propped up on his elbows, and reading the children’s book up to Ivy. Sometimes, Ben took her in his arms, her back against his chest, as he walked her all throughout her room. Others, it just took Rey to curl up with her greatest little masterpiece and hum sweet songs to the happy baby. 

She’ll be doing it again soon—this time, with two littles, so twice the amount of love and snuggles. Though, she would always do bedtime with her oldest baby.

All these thoughts raced through her mind as they traveled across the continent to the western border of Slovakia. Once they landed, they quickly moved out of the plane, through the airport, and thanks to Iva, onto a shuttle that took them into the city center. 

Ben was amazed at how fantastic this city was. It was definitely overlooked in the grand scheme of cities in Europe, but he was so glad he had the opportunity to see this. The historical buildings and romantic terraces were absolutely a delight, things he could only write about before. Like the tourist he was, he took pictures of the city square, basking in its elegance and absolute artistry. 

He could only imagine what the skyline looked like. 

It was now nearing 17.00, which gave the city a welcoming glow as the sun shimmered down slowly, sky radiating oranges, reds, yellows, and pinks. The lights around them added to the beautiful ambiance. Rey could have stayed there forever, with the love of her life, and her little family. 

The five of them stopped for a small dinner at a quaint little restaurant, taking the moment to for a little while, which offered the opportunity to get to know Iva better. She told of her life in the Czech Republic and how Slovakia was a train ride away sometimes.

After they ate, and four of them indulged themselves in the chef’s favorite white wine, Iva updated them on the residence that she was guiding them to. It was a large estate not too far out of the small city, past most of the residential area. It was a place of retreat after more political backlash against Palpatine’s scheme. 

Rey blinked at the woman as she reclined in her seat. Palpatine still had an estate? Her family was still significantly wealthy? Growing up, she was forced to work for her own money, what little it was and how rarely it came. She had nothing—what kind of ironic game was the world playing?

Iva found a local transit that was willing to take them to the residence and pick them up per request. So, the group of five paid their bills, thanking the hostess for her kind hospitality, and made their leave to what could be Rey’s grandfather’s home. 

—

The house might as well have been something straight from an Italian Hollywood film. It had the 1930s Spanish villa structure with large columns, a balcony looking over the large property, a grand staircase made of concrete just outside of the front entrance, which was guarded by a gigantic iron gate at the end of the drive. The vehicle that transported them out turned into the long drive that wrapped its way back into the vast expanse of trees and beautiful landscaping. 

When they finally entered the clearing, passing the gate, the mansion sat in the middle, overlooking the nearest bay. Rey’s eyes peered at everything through the window in amazement, wondering just how people were able to have such opulence and prestige in their lives. Ben was astounded at the mere idea that legacies like these still remain in the world. And, if Ben was correct on how the transfer of title worked, this was entirely Rey’s. 

Fuck, if they had a summer home in Slovakia. 

The cab rounded the loop and slowed to a stop at the base of the steps. Erik opened the door for the everyone. He assisted Tallie and Iva, and patted Ben on the back before letting him assist his wife out onto the concrete drive. Each of them took a moment to bask in the gloriousness of the estate, having never seen something so astounding in person. However, what made Rey’s skin crawl was that this was in her family, and probably constructed from blood money. 

She decided that there was no point for her to stand around and stare—she had questions, and Palpatine was going to answer them. 

Iva hurried after Rey, who had taken the lead and was determined to get to the bottom of this prolonged mystery. Ben chuckled at his wife’s impatience, admiring her fearlessness as he led the way for the rest of their group. 

Catching up to the woman, who was climbing awfully quickly for being so tired, Iva discussed the plan. 

“I will speak to his caretaker to let him know we have arrived. Please wait for me,” Iva finished with a small request, to which Rey nodded and allowed Iva to work her magic. 

Once Iva rang the bell, a taller gentleman opened the door, looking stone faced as he peered down to the little Czech woman. She spoke in her native tongue to the man, who responded to her curtly. Once they concluded the exchanged, he opened the door wider, permitting the group to enter the home. 

When Rey stepped in, she was taken back by how elegant the home was. There were spiraled, dark marbled staircases on either side of the foyer, spiraled iron railings, intricate designs carved into the gray stone, and a dome just above their heads that depicted a heavenly illustration, sparkling from the pure glass allowing sunlight to shine through. The place was dark except for the small sliver of light that came through the dome and a few wall post lights. Ben had finally found his usual spot at Rey’s side, head tilted to take everything in. 

This extravagance was absolutely ridiculous, and Ben felt like he was living the life of someone in some kind of Hallmark Royal Christmas movie, though it seemed Christmas took a turn. The atmosphere was charged hauntingly to him; something was just not right. It was too...cold. 

Taking Rey‘s hand in his, in a combination of nervousness and protection, his chest felt like it was tighter here, something freezing sinking deep into the pit of his stomach. 

It was an understatement to say that Rey felt the same. As an instinct, one of her hands went to cradle the swell of her belly, doing all she could to protect the tiny little humans inside of her. Erik and Tallie followed behind them, shuddering at just how extremely small they felt in the place. 

It was like a temple, something built to worship the man who murdered thousands and planned a mass genocide of people. Ben cringed at the thought of how history does have a habit of repeating itself. 

His eyes looked at the other three, who were just as horrified by the manor. Iva clutched the strap of her canvas bag, fingers fidgeting with material as her eyes wondered around. Erik had begun to study one of the massive paintings hanging on one of the walls, that depicted Palpatine’s utopian world beneath his control. 

The caretaker walked around the flabbergasted group of adults once he shut the large door and stood in front of Rey. 

“He has been waiting for you,” he said in his best English with a silky thin voice. He towered over the woman, yet stood shorter than Ben. Ben determined it was his demeanor that made him appear more threatening than he was—like the entire place itself.  
His face remained slack void from emotion as he turned on his heel to lead Rey through the home. 

“Waiting for you?” Ben’s gaze turned down to his wife as they followed, allowing her to pull his hand and lead him. His brow was lowered, though he refrained from allowing his confidence to falter. “What does that mean?”

Rey shrugged her shoulders, turning her head back to him once before looking ahead to where the caretaker passed through the two staircases and under the great archway. 

The great room was just as colossal as the grand foyer. The ceilings towered over them as a fire roared from the center of the room. It was some kind of circular fireplace engineered into the floor of the home, but did not emit any smoke into the air. It was surrounded by chairs, dark and ebony in color, and crimson velvet couches that were in the shape of half moons. Arches filled the entire place, black, elegant curtains hung high from the ceiling to the floor, pulled closed over the windows for who knows how long. 

There were portraits everywhere: many from Palpatine’s family line. Multiple of him and his wife, who looked at the photographer or artist, whoever was hired, with dead eyes, her white hair styled perfectly in each image, but clearly deteriorating from the oppression of her maniac husband. 

Bookshelves with random artifacts and books lined the walls as well, providing the space with more eye-catching couture. A black grand piano sat in the enormous nook where the windows let in the slightest bit of the sunset across the ivory keys. Rey knew better than to assume this home was for entertaining. This place was not lively. It no longer host guests, if there were any remaining followers of Palpatine’s. 

This place was a tomb, a tomb of haunted memories and tortured souls. 

“Those of you who are not the girl,” started the caretaker, “must stay here. The Senator has only requested for the one called Rey to be in his presence.”

Rey looked up to Ben, then to her, who were looking at her nervously. However, it was Tallie who’s gaze held firm in Rey’s, sending her silent encouragement and bravery from her spot next to one of the couches. Ben’s hand squeezed hers before he stepped back slowly, letting her go bravely into the depths of the cavernous fortress. 

“I’ll be back,” she reassured quietly, afraid of the echo that might ring for too long in the open space. With a nod from the group, and a wink from Ben, she turned to follow the creepy man back through another archway. 

This hall that the man led them down came to an eventual end in front of a large set of double wooden doors. Using a single finger, Palpatine’s caretaker knocked on the door to alert his master that they were ready. 

“Enter,” a deep, rugged voice wheezed out, sending shivers down Rey’s spine. The caretaker opened the door, allowing Rey to step through first before immediately closing it with a loud click. 

His private room was just as dark as the rest of the house, however, the only light was supplied by a lamp that sat next to the large four-post bed, and one on a wooden desk that sat in front of large windows, which muted the setting sun. 

Rey was so distracted by the sensory of the room that she failed to recognize the sound of a machine pumping back and forth at a steady rhythm. Her eyes trailed from all the intricacies of the room to where the machine sat. In a chair that was turned towards one of the large windows sat an older gentleman, one who was comfortably lounging and relying on this machine to provide the air he needed to survive. He wore all black, what truly looked to Rey as a cloak. 

“Nearly three decades later, and I have finally found you, young one,” the voice hissed out from the man, whose gaze was fixed on the window. 

Rey, boldly, though with a racing heart, stepped forward slowly. She was strong; and she had the will of a thousand soldiers in her heart. He wasn’t going to hurt her. 

“I told him that I would one day have you in my sights,” Palpatine chuckled roughly, the cracked voice echoing through the room. 

“Your facts don’t seem to be correct,” tested Rey, coming to a halt halfway across the expansive room. “I am not yours, nor will I ever be. You’re not even looking at me, so clearly, I am not.”

The elderly figure chuckled a low, evil laugh with the turn of his chair, revealing himself to the young woman standing in his wake. His face had wrinkled significantly since the last time his portrait was taken. The skin of his hands and face were paper white and thin, revealing the structure of his bones a little too grotesquely for Rey’s liking. His eyes were a combination of red and yellow, signifying that he was slowly dying. 

“Just as audacious and outspoken as your father.” He gave her a crooked smile, laced with darkness that filled Rey with freezing dread. 

A breath escaped Rey as she took a look at the man who was her grandfather. She was mortified by his appearance. Palpatine seemed to find it humorous according to his continued laughter.

“Don’t be scared, child. This is just the face of a man who has lived a full life, acquiring every last desire of his heart.”

“I’ve learned about you,” Rey threatened, wanting to take a step back before she grounded herself with dignity. “You killed innocent people, brainwashed them into believing they were safe under your protection.”

“Did I,” he asked causally, as if she knew everything about him—the truth, he knew she would claim. He clasped his hands together before he continued. “That was merely forty years ago. How could you possibly distinguish a fact from a lie,” he lengthened the last word, letting it slither from his tongue like a poisonous snake. 

“I have prof of all the horrendous things you’ve done,” Rey hissed in return. 

Palpatine squinted his haunting eyes at her curiously. “It seems as if there was a traitor amongst my ranks.” There was silence for a moment until Palpatine spoke up once again, a dark rumble coming from his withered chest, though still buoyant with pride. 

“Why have you come,” he said firmly, tilting his head back to look at Rey curiously. She didn’t like the feeling that ran through her body, a sort of terror as he stared her up and down, like some sort of caged animal. 

“You know why I’m here,” she answered defiantly. And to that, Palpatine chuckled once more before becoming overwhelmed by a cough.

“Yes, of course.” He hummer lowly. “It’s not every day that I receive visitors claiming to be the lost heir to my legacy. Sit,” the elder demanded, pointing a shaking bony finger to the chair at the desk. Slowly, after a moment of timidity, padded her way over to the chair, lowering herself down into it carefully as the man turned his chair towards her. The machine continued to beep and sound, being one of the few things that kept her calm. 

“My days as a father were,” Palpatine faltered for a moment, “extraordinary. My son, my one chance at complete success, was following in my footsteps. Training with the commanding general of my militia. Studying to be an intelligent businessman with the tactics of a militant. He was a light in the hope I had lost when the Soviets crumbled like idiotic fools.”

Rey sat still in her seat, fidgeting with her fingers that had fallen to her lap as the man continued slowly. 

“Ah, Marek. The light of my and my beloved’s eye. She gave me a son, and I praised her for it. Until she made him weak.”

It was very coincidental that Rey began to hear the rumbling of thunder come from outside the large mansion after he had paused on a chilling statement. What shocked her even more was that he considered Karina as his beloved? She betrayed him in the name of freedom, of democracy, by writing those letters in confidence. Rey had looked at her in all of the portraits—and if her time studying art told her anything, it was that Karina loathed Sheev. 

And she was right to. 

“She gave that boy too much love. In order to be successful, you must forgo any attachment to life outside of your mission. And right underneath my nose, she did just that. Karina encouraged him to find love, dream of a real marriage. Complete and utter nonsense,” he spat. 

“Marriage is not for love. Marriage is for opportunity, legal support, and appearances. I only loved Karina truly after she bore me a child. And after that, who could say. She gave my child life. A son, nonetheless. But how unfortunate it was for her to betray me.”

So he knew, Rey thought. Karina betrayed him in a number of ways, but she was smart enough to keep the most daunting of sins secret. 

“What happened to him,” Rey pushed, feeling a tightness in her chest the more Palpatine spoke to her. 

“Patience, child,” said he, holding up a bony hand. “I will provide you the answers you seek.”

He continued on with the story after a few pulses from the machine. “Not much longer after Marek’s twenty-third birthday, he came to his mother and me at dinner. He told us that he was to become a father to the girl he had been in relations with for quite some time.“ His eyes darted to hers, feeling like daggers had just pulverized her chest. “Let it be known that a Palpatine does not have relations, especially sexual ones in the midst of training for leadership.”

“I know what you did to him that night,” Rey interrupted bravely. “You nearly killed him with your own bare hands, in the eyes of his own mother—over a child!”

“I had no choice,” boomed the elderly man, which sent him into a breathing and hacking fit immediately following. “My empire was at it’s peak—what would the public think if my son, the single heir of my Empire, was out breeding and mocking the professional state of the government?”

“Just because accidents happen does not mean lives would be ruined. There’s an infinite amount of realities that could have happened after that night, but you decided to throw them all away and attempted murder your son!”

“My son was a fool,” hissed Palpatine darkly. “A stupid, ignorant fool for believing he could have all of that, all at once. No! He was to rise up on my orders, follow my lead, and stand at my right hand to begin to conquer nations.”

“You’re the fool if you think that anyone would stand by you,” spit Rey furiously. “Because of you, nations suffered, people burned and died because you were so selfish. You turned your own son against you!”

“If he wasn’t so much a fool then to impregnate a whore, then he was by defying me further and running. He chose his fate, and he earned his consequences.”

“No one can escape me, Rey,” Palpatine sneered with a sinister tone in his voice. 

“He wanted a life, a happy life, for his family. Why do you think Karina encouraged him to do so? Do you think she was happy living in fear of you?”

“Fear,” breathed the elder of the two, “is the highest form of respect.”

“Bullshit,” Rey fired back at him instantly. “I see her face all over this godforsaken place, and I know that look.” Rey pointed over to the portrait above the bed of him, Karina, and Marek. “Her eyes are empty, Sheev—.”

“You have no right to call me by that name, in my own home,” seethed Palpatine, threatening Rey with merely a few words. Rey swallowed nervously. “No heir of mine will treat me with such disrespect.”

“I am not yours,” Rey cried out in an assertive manner, chest heaving as her anger boiled deeper. “I will never be yours.”

“But you are, Rey,” he said poisonously. “The more you speak, the greater the resemblance you have to my dear Marek.”

Rey was frozen, eyes beginning to gloss over with emotion from the man’s statement. She couldn’t comprehend this. How this venomous man was her own flesh and blood. Tears threatened to spill from her traitorous eyes, though she willed them away defiantly. 

“You look just like him—those eyes are unforgettable. Your grandmother had the same ones,” he recounted, pointing to the singular photo on the desk. Rey turned herself around to look at the large desk, eying a singular photograph sitting by the lit lamp. Slowly, with trembling fingers, she picked up the beautiful frame and looked down onto the faces captured in the moment. 

It was a photo of Karina and Marek when he was a young boy. She was smiling a genuine smile into the camera, the little boy face pressed against her cheek. A finger went to caress the face of her stunning grandmother but halted as her eyes landed on her father. 

This was Marek Palpatine, only son to the evil, maniacal Senator. His eyes were the same shade of hazel as hers, as were Karina’s. The expression on the boy’s face was one that she saw every day in Ivy. An innocent, quirky little smile that knew nothing of the horrendous world around them. The happy twinkle in his little eye—Ivy’s. 

Unexpectedly, a sob escaped from her throat, causing her to cover her mouth to quiet herself. This time, tears did stream from her eyes—the entire fate of her family was finally revealed before her very eyes, and it was heartbreaking, soul shattering. Her parents and grandmother suffered so much. Her own depressing life turned out to be a rescue story for her own fate. 

It was the love, whatever was left of it, of her family before her that allowed her to be here today—that allowed her to be a mother too. She looked into the eyes of the young Karina and saw the love she had for her child, something only a parent could recognize and empathize with. 

How her heart could shattered further, she didn’t know, but it did. She could feel in her spirit how devastating it was for Karina’s only ounce of hope to disappear forever. And the tiniest speck of it, her grandchild, gone in an instant. Karina would never know the feeling of gladness again.

But one question still remained for Rey—where were her parents?

“Where,” she said between sniffles once she regained control of her cries. “Where are my parents?”

The Senator merely made his seat turn to face the window once more. His avoidance of her question gave Rey the answer she needed. Biting her bottom lip to keep her from crying again, Rey clutched onto the photograph between her nimble fingers. 

“There are things of Karina’s and what was left of Marek’s collected upstairs. Have Tarkin gather them for you on your way out. They should provide you what you seek. I cannot, and will not, answer anything more.”

“Why won’t you tell me—?“

“Silence, child.” A coldness now came from  
the man. “All that you truly need to know has been revealed. What I did in my fervor matters not to the land of the living. You are my sole remaining heir, my granddaughter, by your own blood.”

“There were many days,” he breathed, “that I dreamed of you rising to your rightful place by my side. And your children, powerful and mighty they would be.”

“However,” he paused for another breath. “I have no right to call them mine. They are the start of a new legacy, one that Marek, Karina, and you alone created.” 

“Don’t you want to keep their belongings,” she asked quietly, looking over to him with teary eyes. 

“I am dying, Rey,” Palpatine confirmed. “It is merely a matter of days until my spirit passes from this world into wherever I am sentenced to. I’ve served my time, have wrote my history, and have read my past—many times. Now, I just await for whatever haunts me to have it’s revenge.”

Rey gasped silently, furrowing her eyebrows as she let him finish. 

“You are more of your father and grandmother than of me, and for that,” he stopped to chuckle. “I am glad.”

A moment of silence sat between the two like a boulder. She never knew this feeling of familial affection, but by this small remark and his offerings to her. 

“Take the photograph. I have her and my boy forever engrained in my mind for the rest of eternity. In fact,” Palpatine said with a raspy chuckle, “I see my son every day.”

“Tell your children of them, for their honor, Rey.”

And with that, the door to the large bedroom opened, and there stood Tarkin waiting to escort her out. Palpatine now sat in his chair with a slight smile on his face, hands no longer clenched in fists as the last of the heavy weight in his heart was removed. Rey stood slowly, hugging the framed image to her chest as she turned her gaze back to her grandfather. 

“Thank you, for this,” she said meekly, grateful to finally have received the answers she always wanted. Her waiting was over. All that was left for her to do was cope. Turning on her heel, she waddled her way out of the room, but turned to take one last look at the man in the chair. This was first and last time she would ever see her remaining predecessor, but she was at ease. Her wide eyes took him in once more before Tarkin closed the door with a soft click, signaling the end to her last and only contact with her family. 

—

Ben’s fingers danced over the keys of the grand piano that sat in the darkness of the large room. The piano was polished and wonderfully tuned, though feeling as if no one had played for many years. Those poor ivory keys beneath his fingertips longed for someone to play them, and Ben drew in their longing like a breath of air. 

He played several different pieces from memory, something his grandmother required of him. His memory selected many of Chopin’s pieces, for they were the only ones that he thought would best suit the mood of the manor. He cycled through Ballade from Op. 28 in E minor, Sonata no. 14 in C-sharp minor, and had just finished Fantasie in F minor before he heard a voice call out to him.

“Way to make us feel even more like we’re trapped in darkness,” Tallie spoke to him from where she was watching the older man fondly from her spot on the curved couch. Ben’s eyebrow quirked, his eyes not moving to meet hers as he continued on with his playing, selecting Prelude from Op. 28. 

“Shall I stop? I thought adding a little bit of something could be comforting while we are harbored here in this fortress.”

Tallie shook her head, rising from her seat. “Please, play on. You look oddly in place here, Ben,” she said quietly as her feet led her over to him. He still refrained from looking at her. 

“How so?”

“I don’t know,” the girl sighed lightly, standing in the curve of the beautiful musical object. “The dark prince aura you give off matches with the eerie feel of this place.”

Now, Ben’s questioning eye darted up to her, his expression blank other than the quirk of his brow. “My ‘dark prince aura?’”

“Yeah,” smirked Tallie, leaning her elbows against the black wood. “All ominous and broody.”

“People have a habit of characterizing me like that.”

The young woman let out a sultry laugh that rang quietly in the open space. “Because it’s true.” Dropping her voice, she continued with her thought. “You’ve always been that way.” 

Ben’s eyes returned to the keys. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Of course.” Tallie agreed. She pushed herself off of the piano and made her way across the grand room to one of the large sets of doors, opposite to the one Rey had bravely ventured down. Then, once she curiously—and recklessly—opened it, she stuck her head in, a sharp intake of air pierced Ben’s ears. Suddenly, the music ended, still ringing in the open space as he stood from the bench and followed Tallie into the room. 

Inside was a vast library, covered floor to ceiling with books, separate levels and staircases that divided the area into something like the Beast’s castle—from one of Ivy’s silly Disney movies. Tallie rounded the long table in the center of the circular room, staring down at all the documents that had been untouched for years, it had seemed. 

“Ben,” she breathed, eyes jumping up to him full of horror. The man quickened his step, making his way over to where she stood. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw what she had discovered. 

There, lying on the table for anyone to see, were papers on the whereabouts of a person. A missing person, it seemed—no, nearly three. There were plans, names for hire with numbers scribbled out in viscous black pen, red circles, capital letters written by a furious hand. Maps, images of cities, many of which looked to be burned to the ground or desolate. Blueprints, memos, letters—it looked like an investigation that Ben had only seen in movies. 

Ben’s hands scavenged through the dusty documents, reading over everything carefully until he landed upon one that shook him to his core. It was an image, blurry, but clear enough to distinguish the people in the image. It was of Rey, at some point while they were in school. He could tell by the way she looked, and how she walked alongside Finn that this was taken many years ago. 

Desperate to find more, his hands furiously dug through the rest of the images from that pile. Photo after photo had been taken of Rey, ranging from her time in London as a girl to not long after Ivy was born. It nearly made Ben sick to now know that people have been watching Rey for years—stalking her, and even him and their daughter, for god knows how long. 

He dropped his hands to the table, ducking his head in attempts to keep himself from being sick, completely overwhelmed and disgusted by how cruel and inhumane this man was. Tallie reached out a hand to his back, comforting him gently before her eyes landed on more images on the other side of the table. 

Quickly, she made her way over to them, flipping through the papers with shock written all over her expression. 

“These are of her parents,” she uttered quietly, words falling from her lips without her conscious awareness, fading away in the despair of the scene. Ben’s head shot up, eyes dark and furious, landing on the objects in her hands. Then, he went to her, taking them from her grasp.

“They’re dated around two thousand and sixteen,” Tallie informed him. Ben’s brow was furrowed as he looked at the photos. Instantly, he felt a connection to the face in the center of the page. It looked nearly identical to Rey, the distinct look in his almond eyes, his elongated forehead, and the way his mouth sat in a tight line in anxiousness—despite being hidden by a beard—it was Rey. He was dressed plainly, having grew out his facial hair to remain incognito, Ben assumed. 

In the next photo was him with a woman. She had auburn hair and a troubled look in her eye, and definite markings of age and stress on her face. Her hands, Ben noticed, looked like Rey’s as she was reaching out for something. Rey’s physique was similar to hers—though this woman would never know this about her daughter. 

Several pictures of them individually followed, and some of them together in random locations. Then, the stack returned back to the photo he began with. Tallie nudged his arm with her elbow, causing him to look down to what she was pointing at. 

Newspapers from several different places reported on a raid in a small village deep in Poland in the early winter of 2016. Ben instantly recognized the comparison photos of the building that was infiltrated. It was the place her parents were in the last photo he saw. Next to the first image was a picture of the building charred, completely destroyed with no remains. 

“He killed them,” Ben said lowly, trying to ignore the lump in his throat. Tallie nodded, picking up another document. 

“Palpatine ordered the raid in the middle of the night. Their home was on the outskirts of the village, where no one could detect them. Says it here in this letter to his mercenaries.”

The man shook his head disgustedly, returning the photos back onto the table slowly. His hands trembled in a mix of horror, anger, sadness, and absolute bewilderment at how insane this man was. Palpatine ordered the execution of her parents, his own son, and had Rey watched from thousands of miles away. 

He rummaged through the last of the photos, realizing that there was an end to them, he craned his neck up to the balcony above their heads. His eyes scanned the walls that held so many other secrets. Fear terrorized his heart at where his mind was leading him, and his feet took him towards the direction of the curved stairway. 

“There is nothing more that you seek.”

A deep, familiar voice boomed around the room so chillingly that it sent a shiver down Ben’s spine. He turned his sights to the closed doors that the two of them entered from and was taken back by the figure standing there. 

It was Palpatine’s caretaker, standing with clasped hands behind his back. His eyes were steadily focused on Ben, who was a couple of steps up. Tallie’s crystal eyes gazed upon the older man guiltily, hands retracting from the table. 

Ben turned himself around on the step, on hand lightly placed on the dusty curved railing. His brow furrowed, raised his guard, and closed himself off emotionally from the eerie pawn of Palpatine’s wicked game. 

“What you see before you is the last of it. Once his traitorous son and rogue wife were executed, he sought no further for the girl.”

“How come,” Ben asked deeply, slowly descending the steps. 

“The Senator fell ill shortly after his son perished, which prevented further execution on the girl’s whereabouts.”

“So,” Tallie tried, hesitant to speak up but in desperate need for answers. “You had her followed—just like her parents. Why?”

“It was not on my orders,” Tarkin defended, still rigid in his spot a little past the archway. “The Senator himself exclusively had their lives under surveillance for many purposes.” 

Ben was seething. He had found his place back at the table, picking up the photo of Ivy and Rey, looking so blissfully oblivious that their every move was being monitored. 

“He kept my wife under his thumb for years,” he grumbled, doing his best to not damage the picture in his grasp. “Why?”

“You ask such a question in search of a fathomless answer—,” Tarkin began before Ben interrupted fiercely. 

“My own daughter was being stalked by some predator like a defenseless animal,” his deep voice challenged Tarkin’s—and won. The rage in his chest boiled, a feeling he hadn’t felt in so long, not since he was at war. 

“What made you believe this sick and twisted act was okay? Watching their every move, following them while they did mundane tasks—that’s—that’s repugnant!” His eyes were now a dark shade of brown, jaw set and demeanor threatening as he stood by his friend. 

“You’re a father,” Tarkin said with a raised eyebrow, a glimmer of something in his eye Ben couldn’t quite comprehend. “So you understand how important it is to protect your own, no matter the costs.”

“What could he ever want with Rey?” Tallie nearly jumped for him before Ben placed a firm hand on her shoulder. “She had no idea about any of this—ever!”

“Senator Palpatine’s plan was never quite finished after the fall of the Empire,” Tarkin said smoothly as he slithered his way into the room, approaching the other side of the table. His focus was aimed on the littered documents and orders that were in his master’s own hand. “After the birth of the child, Marek still ran. And the Senator believed he still had the girl.”

Taking a wrinkled, slender finger, he swiped an image of Rey—at nearly thirteen years old—off the table and held it between his spider-like grasp. “However, he was sorely mistaken.”

Ben made a low, growling sound as the minion stared at the younger version of his wife in such a perverse way. If he had the ability to trottle someone without getting charged for murder, this man would have been lifeless on the floor a good while ago. Both he and his decrepit leader. 

Tarkin’s eyes flicked up to Ben’s loathing glower. “When he discovered this, after many years of warfare and retreat once his army weakened, the Senator sought out the rest of his disciples. Many of them, including myself, worked relentlessly to find the boy and where he had fled to. Because of his son, because of the traitorous defiance, the Senator’s only hope of regaining control was ripped right from his hands.”

“Like you said,” Ben began with the tilt of his chin, “Marek was protecting his own.”

“Yes,” Tarkin hummed peculiarly, studying the larger man from across the table. “The sins of the son will always trouble the father in the end. It seems the two were a pair, however; the good and the bad. Both destroying themselves by defending what they thought was their salvation.”

“Marek and Julia gave themselves up for her,” Tallie bit, glaring at the man, blue eyes like a frozen-lake, full of tears. “She was their salvation. Rey got them away from that—that incubus rotting away in this hole. And it saved her in the end. It gave her a future—one Palpatine could never give her.”

Tarkin’s void gaze then traveled down to the fiery young woman by the man’s side. “Marek did the unthinkable, the unbelievable, leaving the girl. Losing that child meant the end for the Senator. And he resented that. However, when he finally conjured the strength, and in an effort to reclaim his authority, Senator Palpatine ordered the execution of his son.”

“Cold-blooded murderer!” This time, Ben had to grab Tallie by the arms before she leapt onto the table to clobber the older man out of complete rage. She thrashed in his grasp as Tarkin merely gave a sadistic chuckle. 

“Not to worry, young one. Your precious enemy has met his demise. Murdering his own son left a deep wound in his heart. The connection between the two gave each other life; life that flowed through Marek gave the Senator his own; the true bond between father and son. Marek gave his father his own purpose. Karina died from a broken heart. The followers abandoned him. His own physical being began to crumble and decay.”

Tarkin hummed as his eyes took a sweep of the room around them. “It’s almost as if Marek haunts this place like a phantom, ensuring that his father’s path to hell is paved horridly.”

Scoffing lightly, Tarkin turned his back to the two of them. “Do not worry about the girl, nor your daughter, Solo. The Senator abandoned his pursuit of her once the mission to eliminate Marek and Julia was successful.”

“Then why did he start watching her while she was so young,” asked Ben, heart feeling heavy and voice thin. Tarkin chuckled, turning his head to the side to look at them behind his shoulder.

“The Senator wanted to ensure Rey was oblivious to her family’s history. He could never control her while she was in London, nor while Marek was still out there. His son could have found Rey and told her everything, but he didn’t.”

“If that’s so, then why did he follow her when she left? Why were our friends and our child targeted, too?”

“He had to know, Benjamin.” The man turned his torso back to the young adults looking at him heartbrokenly and full of fury. “He had to know everything; everyone she had ever known or trusted. America could have been his chance to have her, but her father was still a threat. And then,”  
he paused intentionally, “she became a mother.”

Ben’s heart twinged at the last comment, grip on Tallie tightening for his own stability. The statement was such a tender one, but coming from this man made it feel poisonous. She was the mother of his baby—his children. 

“Senator Palpatine imagined the possibilities with Rey and her child, and planned to come for her until everything began to unravel. The death of Marek Palpatine tore a hole in his world, in his vision of the Final Empire, and it will ultimately kill him.”

“I do not joke when I tell you that Marek’s spirit lingers in this place,” Tarkin said, turning back around. “It’s almost as if he led Rey here in spite of his father, waving her in his face like a dog with a piece of meat. And once she and the rest of you leave, it will only be a matter of time until Marek kills him.”

Tallie’s breath hitched, body stepping back in horror. One of Ben’s hands had dropped from her arm, but the other still held her securely. She was close to him, mainly for each other’s comfort through the entire unfolding of history. 

“Do not try and report any of this to the authorities,” warned the Senator’s right-hand man. “You do not know the lengths we have gone to ensure that this remains buried. And believe me, those you think could help you prove the truth ultimately had allegiance to the Senator. Once he takes his last breath, nothing will remain. Not even a shadow.”

With that, Tarkin took his leave from the large study, leaving the two of them to tremble in his wake as they broke from their defensive demeanors. 

But the light pressure against his chest brought Ben down from his raging thoughts. Turning his head, he gazed down to Tallie, who was silently sobbing into the fabric of his white shirt. He didn’t even realize until then that he had begun to cry as well. His hand dropped from her arm and went around her form, pulling the shorter girl into his hold comfortingly. 

Somehow, the two of them always ended up like this, providing a comfort to the other in the most difficult of times. But they both knew deep down that it was, nor would be, anything more. Not as long as the both of them loved the woman facing one of her greatest fears—who she was. 

And there would never be a day where that statement would be true. 

All they could do was stand there in complete, unnerving silence. Ben had pressed his cheek against her head comfortingly. Tallie had her fingers clasped around his shirt, dwelling in the secure spot that was in Ben’s arms. 

Then, they pulled apart, and to Tallie, it being out of respect for her best friend, who’s face was scattered all about the table. The two of them looked around at the photographs, deeply pained to now know the truth, but mostly out of memorial for the heavy weight of the story. Both being soldiers, they knew the significance of reverence, and paid it the regard it earned—the honor that Rey’s parents deserved. 

—

Rey followed Tarkin, once he returned to his post, as he led her down the dark hallway, which was now dimly lit with the warm glow of the candelabras and hanging chandelier. Clutching the frame to her chest, she looked about at everything now that the light exposed it all from the shadows. There were more portraits of the Palpatine family line, and many more of Karina. However, the most beautiful of paintings of her must be hidden away, Rey assumed, possibly in the room that she called her own. 

“Please leave your contact information so that I may proceed with sending what the Senator has designated for your inheritance properly,” Tarkin instructed her, merely turning his head to address her from behind. “There is a place you can do so in the grand room.”

Rey nodded, still feeling slightly uncomfortable by the uptight man. Though thankfully, she and her group didn’t have to stay much longer. 

When she returned to the vast space, her ears recognized Ben’s playing from the piano in the nook. He looked even more worn down and solemn than before she left. Her brow lowered as she gazed at him, then turned to her other friends. Erik was gazing at the multiple expensive relics sitting on the bookshelves, Iva had her arms crossed, staring into the orange flames before her, and Tallie rested on the curved couch, looking just as downcast as her husband. 

“Once Rey has completed what has been asked of her, I will escort you on your way,” Tarkin announced, nearly scaring everyone out of their own skin by how unannounced he was. Ben’s gaze jumped up from the keys to Rey, who met his, taken back by how troubled he appeared. The young woman padded her way across the floor to the end table next to one of the sitting chairs and wrote down her contact information. Once she set the pen down on the wood, she nodded to her group, who watched her curiously, and led them to the door. 

Iva exchanged a formal goodbye in the native dialect as the older man walked them to the front door. Once he closed it to them, the group seemed to collectively take a deep breath. It was over. Rey had finally completed her search for her family. No words found their way to her lips as they all took the stairs down into the dusk, illuminated by the lamplight above them. 

Erik and Tallie spoke in hushed tones as they led the way down the steps and to the cab who had waited for them. Ben was at Rey’s side, completely silent as his fists were clenched inside his jean pockets. Rey clung to the image as they made their way to the car. Though, little known to everyone, Iva was watching them all carefully, especially Ben and Tallie with a careful eye. 

—

The group made it back to the airport in Slovakia safely despite the darkness surrounding them as they left the manor. Rey told them all they needed to know at the moment, which they were okay with. Ben and Tallie sat in stony silence, to which Rey had no idea how to react. 

Tarkin received her address to send Karina and Marek’s remaining possessions back to her home in the States. It was unlikely that Palpatine would live on to take up those journals again, but Rey accepted it all humbly. Once he was to pass, estate was to be done away with and his relics auctioned after Rey took the opportunity to choose what she wanted, since she was the last of the bloodline remaining (officially, that is). 

Ben and Tallie exchanged a look, knowing that the more valuable of possessions would more than likely be destroyed. A part of history, and the remains of a ruined life, forgotten. No justice. No vengeance. 

Ben guessed that was the only way. 

The four friends said their goodbyes and gave hugs to Iva, who promised to remain in touch since she and Rey were now discovered kin. They also exchanged information, which filled Rey with such a joy after this agonizingly long adventure. 

As she gave her newfound cousin a anlast embrace, Iva turned her head to whisper into the girl’s ear. 

“Watch out for your friend and that husband. I don’t know them well, but something doesn’t seem right from all I’ve seen today.”

Rey’s brow furrowed as the woman clung to her. “What do you mean,” she whispered back.

“There was a moment in the garden when you were away. And one in the manor. Please be wary, Dear Cousin,” Iva warned. Rey’s gaze went up to Ben and her friends who stood a little ways off to give them a private moment. Ben and Tallie were both sharing something serious with Erik, standing close—a little too close, in Rey’s now knowing opinion—as the other man stared at them in horror. 

Secrets. Her whole life had been nothing but secrets—even to this day. Ben, out of nowhere, and coincidentally after their first dinner together, poured his heart out to Rey about things she was completely unaware of, like his military service and severe, near-fatal injuries. At first, she brushed this off as Ben’s memories resurfacing, but there seemed to be more at play here. 

The more she mentally began to analyze their dynamic, she felt utterly uneasy at how comfortable their snarky exchanges were, and the way they interacted. Especially at how hostile they could become, like there was an underlying boiling rage caused by something that Rey didn’t know. 

The hand Tallie had placed on Ben’s arm a moment ago was too flirtatious for Rey’s own good. A sudden burst of anger flowed through her that was deep rooted from how emotional the day had already been. 

The two remained like that for a moment until Iva’s flight number was called. With a final goodbye to everyone, she gave them a wave and a warm smile, thanking them for the pleasure of adventuring. Then, just as she came, she left, but this time, leaving a large mark on each of their hearts, and Rey absolutely torn. 

—

The flight back was silent on both Ben and Rey’s end. As it was growing dark, Rey tried to close her eyes and rest but her mind ravaged through all the pieces of today’s events. She had finally discovered who her parents were, where her family came from, grew a pair to make her brave enough to met the damn bastard that was her grandfather (by blood, not by association), met a cousin, learned the horrific events of how she was born, and so many other overwhelming things that her mind couldn’t process yet. 

Now, in the forefront of her mind, was her constant anxiety over Ben and Tallie. Everything was beginning to make sense. She knew something was off the moment they met. The awkwardness was way too thick for them to be just acquainted. The way Ben nearly panicked through the entire event until he began to drink his anxiety away. Even how distant he became until he opened up began to fit together. 

Whatever had happened between him and Tallie caused all these riveting events to cascade. Was this why he was so against them going on this rendezvous? 

Something else was off too, Rey noticed, by the way Ben was acting. While she was speaking to Palpatine, something had transpired and Ben and Tallie were the only two involved. Even Iva mentioned it, and Erik seemed to be aware after they spoke to him. Why were they keeping her in the dark?

What the fuck was happening? 

Despite everything being so hectic in her life, the four of them made their way back to the hotel. Rey was now walking slower than she had been, body aching all over, exhausted, and utterly worn down from it all. Ben had also slowed to match her pace, bidding the other couple farewell and gratitude for their assistance for the day. Rey could only give a closed grin as the couple ventured back into the hotel. 

“Rey,” Ben said quietly, looking down at her with such concern. “You’re waddling.”

“I am?” The space between her brows crinkled as she slowly began to realize how much she had overworked herself. Her body was not capable of doing everything she used to, going places on a whim, and as quickly. She now carried extra weight from two babies, despite her own, and was already such a high-risk case. 

Ben hummed as a response. “You’ve slowed considerably, too. Are you feeling okay?”

“Honestly?” Rey turned her gaze up to him. “After all of this, fuck no.”

His frown deepened. “When we get upstairs, I’ll run you a bath. I don’t really want you on your feet for much longer.”

His wife sighed, exhaling a heavy breath as she went to wrap her arm around Ben’s waist. Happily, he obliged to her touch, though he knew it was also so she could apply most of her weight against him. He wrapped his arm around her, being the rock she needed in that moment, and for the rest of their life together. 

—

“Ben?” 

The man’s gaze turned down to her as she was now reclined in the bathtub, allowing her body to feel weightless and tight muscles to release in the warm water. He stopped from where he was about to head out of the room as she called to him. 

“Will you stay in here with me, please?” Her hazel eyes that were so exhausted pleaded up at him, voice innocent and sweet in asking him of one thing. His brow lowered as he responded. 

“Of course. I was going to go get your medication so you can take it.”

“It can wait until we’re done,” she said, using her finger to draw little shapes on her bump that now poked out above the water. “I want to talk to you.”

Slowly, Ben obliged to her request and lowered himself down onto the footstep on the side of the large tub. As he did, he leaned against his side, resting an elbow on the edge as he stared down at the beautiful woman. “What’s on your mind?”

“A lot,” Rey chuckled, still tracing designs on her wet skin. “Especially on everything that happened today.”

Ben nodded, studying every little detail on her freckled face. “Okay,” he said quietly. 

“I met my grandfather today,” she said quietly. “Which was a nightmare yet a dream come true.”

“You held your own, so that means you’ve leveled up on the badass motherfucker scale,” Ben replied with a causal shrug. 

Rey let out a laugh, face scrunching up in delight from her husband’s comment. “But not nearly as much as your score is.”

Her husband gave her a sly smirk. “It’s only because I’ve had Leia Skywalker as a mother.”

“Very true. She has, like, an infinite level of badass motherfuckery.”

Then, it was Ben’s turn to laugh, which sent Rey into her own giggling. Once he finished, he dropped his hand into the tub to trace the delicate curve that was peeking out of the warm water. 

“What else happened when you where in there?”

With a sigh, Rey continued. “He’s old, Ben. Really, disgustingly old. And nearly dead. But he confirmed everything Iva had told us. But—,” she trailed off. 

“But?” Ben raised an eyebrow down to her. 

“But he loved my father. He loved my grandmother too. Yet, he never told me—or refused to, really—what happened to my parents.”

Nodding solemnly, already knowing their demise, Ben’s gaze remained off of her face and to her belly where their children were safe and growing happily. 

“And he mentioned something about me standing at his side,” she continued, murmuring this time with a furrow of her brow. “With Ivy, and our babies, too.”

Ben’s gaze snapped up to her face seriously. “Did he say anything else?”

She shook her head. “No. Just that he had dreamed of it.”

A disapproving him vibrated from his chest. “I don’t like the idea of him talking about you or our children that way.”

“I don’t either. It makes me want to fly home right now and hide her away from the world forever.”

_You’re telling me, _Ben thought to himself. Her gaze on him grew concerned, though still troubled by the information Iva told her.__

__“Iva also told me something today,” she began, not knowing if bringing it up was the best idea. “She was concerned about you and Tallie.”_ _

__Ben frowned once again, looking up from where he was admiring her smooth skin. “Me and Tallie? What about us?”_ _

__A sigh escaped her lips as she avoided his eyes. “She was concerned that there was something happening between you both.”_ _

__Ben’s own gaze upon her softened as he realized what she was referring to. Iva must have overheard their heated exchange in the garden, and assumed the worst when they explored the library._ _

__But did she see Tarkin go inside, too?_ _

__“Know that I’m not mad,” Rey added nervously, almost regretting telling him her thoughts, but continued on. “Because I definitely know and trust you, and would never think you’d be one to—.”_ _

__“Tallie and I had a thing.”_ _

__Immediately, Rey’s eyes jumped to his face, which was surprisingly calm and collected as he gazed upon her. Hurt flashed through Rey’s hazel eyes, not understanding the context of what he had just admitted._ _

__“What?” Her voice was hitched, brow crinkled once more in sadness._ _

__“Before you and I met, Tallie and I had a small fling.”_ _

__Slowly, Ben’s hand went to rest on Rey’s knee that was above the water, caressing the smooth skin there gently now that she was less defensive after he added some information. “When I had my accident, I was, somehow, taken to London to be treated. There, Tallie was my caretaker since I didn’t have my family.”_ _

__“When was this?”_ _

__“Two thousand and nine. I was there from that mid January to the middle of June. Comatose till February, on the mend till May, got worse, then better, then Anakin took me home.”_ _

__Rey watched him curiously, though very sympathetically was he kept his eyes on her body, which she had finally come around to feeling comfortable naked in front of him, even while so pregnant._ _

__“Tallie took care of me for several months. Fed me, washed my hair, gave me books to read, took me to physical therapy. She even,” he broke off, swallowing a lump in his throat. “She was there during the violent nightmares and flashbacks. And for the sudden anger outbursts. The hospital staff had to hold me down so she could tranquilize me.”_ _

__Rey’s heart broke for her husband who had to endure so much pain and mental chaos. She still had yet to understand why he refused to let her in on this, but slowly, some ideas came to mind._ _

__“In March, she and I became close and,” he chuckled, shaking his head as he looked down and away from her. “That’s when we started sleeping together.”_ _

__Rey’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head, astounded by the blasphemy she was hearing. “You had sex with Tallie?”_ _

__“Yes, we ended up—.”_ _

__“You, my husband,” Rey sat herself up carefully, eyes trained bitterly on him, “had sex with Tallie?”_ _

__Ben watched her curiously, straightening out his posture and broadening his shoulders defensively. “Yes.”_ _

__Rey couldn’t believe it. Her friend, the one she had for the longest time, who she shared her whole adolescent life with, slept with her husband first. Fucked her man, the one she devoted her whole life to, way before Rey could ever have her chance. It was almost funny, because Tallie had everything Rey didn’t—looks, spunk, a bolder ability to be outspoken. She had a stable and secure family who loved her and provided her every need, and had boys on her arm like crazy._ _

__So, of course, she would have fucked her husband before she ever knew him._ _

__What were the fucking odds?_ _

__She was nearly seething, feeling rather incomparable to the perky and lively blonde, who never let herself get held down. Part of her felt minuscule, especially trying to image what sex with her was like, and she knew Tallie did it well seeing as to how many men she had bumped around with. Knowing this sex goddess slept with her husband made her feel so small, so worthless._ _

__Man, was this one hell of a day._ _

__“Rey,” Ben tried after a moment of silence, sensing, and even observing, how Rey’s emotions spiraled as her thoughts spun out of control. She refused to look at him for a moment, mad at him to—for really no purpose other than just in reaction to him being a part of the act. But she could never be so angry at him that she would despise him._ _

__He was her husband, the father of her babies, and her best friend. No wonder why knowing all of that hurt so badly._ _

__Her eyes flitted up to his, brokenness and instability pouring from her gaze like a thunderstorm. It tore Ben to pieces, knowing that on top of all of the wild things she had to cope with, this was also one of them. He inwardly beat himself up because of his past decisions. But, he reminded himself, he left London for good and put it all behind, not letting it ever resurface again._ _

__“I really need you to say something right now,” he pleaded with her, brown eyes searching for some sort of relief. Taking a slow breath, Rey obliged at his request._ _

__“Why?”_ _

__That was all she could muster the heart to ask for now, voice breaking with the single word. At that, the man nearly unraveled. He gaped at her, heart sick and at a loss. Even he didn’t have the answer for that. It was a heated moment that swept over him and Tallie that couldn’t be explained. But Ben didn’t have feelings for her then like he does for Rey. Nothing in this world—other than the love he has for his children—compares to how he feels about Rey. Not one single adoration of his ever amounts to the utter devotion he had for her._ _

__Right there, in that bathroom, he would have gotten down on his knees at her feet, like an alter, and repented of his sins so that he may worship her tenfold._ _

__“I don’t know,” he choked out. The grief that dripped in her tone was enough to shoot him down. “We—I,” he tried again, but stumbled over a mess of words that were definitely incoherent. Rey watched this, eyes widening at just how overwhelmed Ben was becoming—just as broken and embarrassed by his act as she was._ _

__She reached out her hands to him as he tried to explain his thoughts, saying that they weren’t in love but so utterly desperate for the touch of a person that they were reckless. It was only for a couple of months before he was ripped away from London, much to Rey’s gratitude. He had his head in his hands, elbows propped up on the side of the tub as his fingers tugged at his dark hair. Rey’s own came to rest on his wrists gently, which tore him from his spiraling, eyes glistening with tears and total disconnect with reality as he sunk deeper into his depressive thoughts._ _

__“Ben,” Rey murmured softly, gazing at him steadily, being his anchor in his dangerous storm. “It’s okay.”_ _

__His brow furrowed slightly, “But Rey—.”_ _

__“I’m not angry with you,” she admitted shyly, realizing her hostile feelings on the subject had no right to be directed towards him. “Maybe just a little intimidated, but I could never be angry with you.”_ _

__“What,” he started, confusion washing over his handsome features. “Why do you feel intimidated?”_ _

__Rey gave him a knowing look. “You are the closest thing to heaven that I have—that’s not our littles—and in the past, you slept with the girl I was completely jealous of.”_ _

__Ben scowled. “Why were you jealous of Tallissen?”_ _

__“Because she had everything I wanted,” Rey replied, gaze softening even further as she revealed more of her past self. “She had it all—looks, personality, perfect life. I still feel that way, but only so much. It’s deep-rooted, and something I have to consciously work on.”_ _

__“Rey,” Ben began sadly before she shushed him._ _

__“I only feel intimidated because she’s so much I am not, even now,” his wife chuckled, looking down past her swollen breasts to her bump. “But it’s okay.”_ _

__“You are everything and more that she couldn’t be to me,” Ben declared quietly, his heart like putty in his hands as he spoke about his wife. His lovely little Rey of Sunshine. “Tallissen needed someone who was willing to run away with her. I couldn’t do that anymore.”_ _

__One of her hands found a small spot on her belly, beginning to draw sheepish little patterns as he spoke to her._ _

__“But chasing after you was something I knew I could do—what I wanted to do.”_ _

__Rey’s eyes jumped back up to him, who was staring at her with such reverence. Her eyes prickled with tears as her face crinkled slightly, heat flooding her cheeks._ _

__“I’m sorry that the world has a sick way of playing jokes, and it’s causing you to have to deal with the grief of that,” Ben admitted defeatedly. “But what happened between Tallie and me, it’s in the past. She was someone in that part of my life, and then was never revisited. I haven’t tried to relive those memories until I came here because I am so completely and utterly in love with you and our life. There was no reason for me to dwell in that.”_ _

__Rey watched him carefully, tears silently falling down her cheeks. Ben noticed this and reached out a single hand to thumb them away gently. “Because I knew from the moment I met you that you were my future. And that was much more promising than a flighty and rebellious nurse thousands of miles away.”_ _

__A giggle sounded from the woman, who had closed her eyes and leaned into her husband’s touch. Slowly, Ben leaned his head in to press a loving kiss to her forehead before nuzzling his nose against her smooth skin there._ _

__“Who is better, though?”_ _

__Her question, asked with such innocence, shocked him to his core. A sudden laugh escaped from his mouth, a smile forming on his face as he pulled back to look at his silly wife._ _

__“That’s not fair, asking such a biased question,” Ben said while he was still laughing. He had pulled back from her slightly so he could see her amused, yet mischievous grin she was playing into. “But if I had to answer, I would tell you, my pregnant, radiant wife, who I have long since been sleeping with consistently, to ask yourself the same question.”_ _

__“Just because you’ve been shagging me for so long doesn’t mean you’ve enjoyed it.”_ _

__Ben have her a flat look. Then, the corner of his mouth curled into a smirk. “Really? Years of us between each other’s legs doesn’t ring a bell? The constant begging, from both sides, to take the other to bed? What about the fact that we have created not one, not two—but four little people, all because you make me so wild that I just so happen to bust a nut, several, actually, inside of you—that doesn’t give any clear indication?”_ _

__Rey’s laugh was like sunshine pouring into that white bathroom. She tilted her head back, the messy bun on the top of her head flopping happily with the movement. Ben watched her with a smug grin, brown eyes blessed by the sight before him._ _

__“Point proven,” Rey declared, giving him a pursed-lip grin at the side of her mouth. To that, Ben leaned in further, gripping the side of the tub to press his mouth against hers._ _

__They kissed as if they hadn’t just before, mouths moving in a familiar rhythm that they knew so well. The two of them had memorized each other’s lips, each other’s mouth and the way they sloppily expressed their love. Eight years into a relationship, and these two knew the other like the back of their hand. This filled Rey with so much joy that the mere thought of Tallie ever being this good made her laugh._ _

__Pulling away slowly, though still hovering over each other’s faces, Rey’s hazel eyes peered up to Ben’s complacent gaze on her. “Join me. I can wash your hair now.”_ _

__With a smirk growing on his face like ivy on a wall, Ben pulled back a little further to pull off his shirt—a sight that made Rey feel warmth deep in her belly. Then, he pulled off the rest of his clothes and made his way into the tub, letting himself drape over his wife as they continued with their kiss in the steamy water. Before their bath, Rey had chuckled at Ben for putting the ‘Do Not Disturb’ tag on the handle of their suite door playfully, but now, both of them were thankful for that little extra sense of privacy._ _

__—_ _

__“Ben.”_ _

__He hummed._ _

__It was dark in their hotel room since they had decided to go to bed a little over an hour ago. Ben assumed Rey had fallen asleep—maybe she did, but the sound of her voice was unexpected after a long period of silence._ _

__“Your thoughts are so loud that they’re keeping me awake.”_ _

__“Sorry, Rey.”_ _

__Slowly, she peeled herself away from the comfortable memory foam mattress to study his troubled expression. The little slither of moonlight coming through the curtains. It made him look more solemn somehow, more melancholy than what he could look._ _

__“What’s worrying you?”_ _

__Ben shrugged, his shoulders brushing against the white sheets. Rey tilted her head further to the side, her auburn hair cascading down her shoulder._ _

__“Please?”_ _

__The pleasing in her voice shot a pang of remorse through his heart. Sighing, Ben turned onto his side to face her, propping his head up in his hand casually. He played with the lace strap of her silky nighty between two of his fingers before he spoke what was on his mind._ _

__“While you were talking with him,” he paused to swallow the lump in his throat, his eyes not meeting hers. “Your grandfather—.”_ _

__“That might be so by birthright, and I might have called him that, but he’s not my family,” she replied seriously, hazel eyes searching his in the dark room. “Please do call him by his name.”_ _

__“Palpatine,” Ben corrected himself at her request, and she gave him a silent thanks in return. “While you were doing that, Tallie and I—um,” faltering, his eyes flicking up to her before he shyly returned them down to her body. “We discovered something.”_ _

__“Okay,” urged his wife slowly, brow lowering as she watched his contorting features. “What was it?”_ _

__Taking a deep breath, Ben found the nerve to tell her what he and Tallie witnessed in the study of Palpatine’s manor. But he wasn’t sure as to far he would go to explain everything Tarkin had said._ _

__“I don’t know what he told you, but that man was not as passive as you think.”_ _

__“Of course. He wanted mass genocide on tons of people—.”_ _

__“No, Rey,” Ben boldly interrupted, gaze now piercing Rey’s. “You don’t understand.”_ _

__She was silent, unaware of what he was talking about. Her fingers fiddled with the sheets carefully, as she awaited his thoughts._ _

__Ben shook his head frustratingly before he rolled himself off of the bed, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. With some difficulty, Rey leaned herself up on her side, palm pressing into the mattress as she watched him pace around the room like a caged animal._ _

__“What is it, Ben?”_ _

__“He—he had photos. Permits, codes, patents, letters, indentures, all kinds of crazy shit.” Her husband ran a hand over his mouth, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared ahead at him, visualizing what he and the woman had stumbled upon._ _

__“What of,” Rey pressed carefully, not sure how far was too far for him at the moment._ _

__A shaky breath escaped his broad form as he shuttered. “Massacre, rioting, infiltrating and burning of innocent cities. Raids. Of people. Of the destruction that followed his shadow. Blueprints for weapons of mass destruction. Documents and memorandums confirming the assassinations of people who were considered traitors to his cause.”_ _

__“And the photos?”_ _

__Ben remained silent, the tight feeling in his chest growing heavier by the second. He didn’t dare to tell her what he saw. How disgusting it was that she was being followed and watched for years by his invasive spies. Even he had been watched—their child had been stalked. That was the final straw for Ben._ _

__It was a good thing he never saw the man or else he would have wrang his large hands around the cowardly feeble throat of Sheev’s._ _

__Finally, regaining some of his awareness through grounding himself and his emotions, he bit past the urge to be sick at the thought and told her._ _

__“Of you.”_ _

__“Me?” Her voice had hitched, free hand rising to her chest in shock as her eyes searched him frantically. “What do you mean ‘of me?’”_ _

__“On that table,” he nearly choked out, “there were a lifetime of photos of you. From before you moved to the States, all over London. When you got to school—with all of us, with me. Pictures upon pictures of you and me, some after our wedding—.”_ _

__“Ben,” her own voice nearly broke as she stared at him, disbelief and horror written all over her expression. Slowly, she had started to curl into herself, hand going back to protect her bump, like it was the only thing she could do._ _

__Ben groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as a wave of nausea washed over him. With no longer the strength to fight back his emotions, tears started to pour down his cheeks at the sheer thought of someone—something, rather (their perverted stalking nature wiped them clean from being considered human)—watching his girls. It didn’t matter if it was the man who revealed all the evil beneath the rug. Cameras were on Rey all the time, and his own daughter, and he didn’t even know. People were spying, hunting them like some sort of animal._ _

__He could barely get himself to utter his next words._ _

__“Even of you and Ivy.”_ _

__Rey’s heart sank. Everything in her felt like she was a wanted criminal, though she be innocent of any charges. Palpatine hired people to watch her for heaven knows how long. He had known about her and who she was far longer than she realized. Rage consumed her as she processed the weight of Ben’s words. Hiding things from her was not longer an option. Rey was tired of people trying to hide the truth to protect her._ _

__“Were any of the photos recent?” She was nearly seething there on their bed, hand that was holding her up clenched in the white sheets. Ben shook his head, hanging it slightly as he paced the floor a tad more._ _

__“Just of when she was nearly a year old,” he sniffles, remembering just how sweet that time was, and now how it was being documented by strangers and criminal trackers. “There was nothing of you her after that.”_ _

__“Any more of me?”_ _

__“No. We searched the table and found something else, but no more of you. It seemed as if all the work had stopped. Everything was covered in dust, so I assume there was no longer any interest.”_ _

__“As far as we know,” Rey nearly growled under her breath._ _

__“As far as I do know,” Ben replied sternly, hearing her anger in her voice and turning his attention to it. His muscular arms were now crossed over his broad chest, fingers fidgeting with themselves underneath his biceps curiously._ _

__“As far as—Ben!” Exclaiming his name as angrily as she did was not something he did not personally favor. “You have no idea if there are any—any other assholes watching us, watching our family!”_ _

__“There aren’t, Rey,” confirmed her husband, but she shook her head._ _

__“We didn’t even know there were people in the first place. How the he’ll do you know there aren’t any more?”_ _

__“Because there aren’t,” Ben declared firmly. His strong voice resonated over her frantic and angry one. It was nearly threatening, but she knew well enough that he was in no place to threaten her. It was merely to get her to calm down._ _

__“How do you know,” she murmured, tears now pooling in her eyes, body trembling in fear for the safety of her family. Ben noticed this and approached the bed once again. He cupped a large hand against her cheek, brushing back the tears that were beginning to fall._ _

__“Because I do.” It was all he had to say for her to crumble. Sobs escaped her body once more, causing her to lower her head shamefully. Ben nudged her cheek gently while she cried, which made her stinging eyes flutter up to his heartbreakingly. He was now on his knees against the mattress, and drew her into his embrace. Willingly, Rey reached her arms up to snake around his neck, clinging to his body as close as she could._ _

__Ben was her safe place. His arms were a haven for her. Even though she knew Tallie might have felt the same about his embraces, she was the one who called that place home. It was hers whenever she needed it most, even if she just wanted the comfort of his touch. There, she was held, her daughter was cradled, and where their future was secure._ _

__He wrapped his strong arms around her body, slowly lowering them down so he could sit on the bed. His face was turned into the side of her head, breathing all of her in as he protected her. Over his dead body would anyone get to her._ _

__“I have something I need to share with you too, Angel,” Ben spoke into her ear once she had begun to calm down. Slowly pulling back, she looked at him with wide, watery eyes._ _

__“Can—can you still hold me?”_ _

__Her question was so fragile that Ben was afraid to even speak. All he could do was nod and tilt his chin up to nuzzle her nose against his. To that, Rey gave a little smile before she sunk down, pressing the side of her body into his torso. Ben held her like that between his legs, propping one knee up as he positioned himself against the headboard comfortably._ _

__“Tallie was nosy enough to discover Palpatine’s private study. I followed her, and what we saw,” he paused to take a breath and meet her eyes, “is what I told you about.”_ _

__His wife nodded her head, the spot between her eyebrows crinkling sadly. Ben leaned in and pressed a kiss to the spot in hopes of making it disappear._ _

__“Tarkin found us. I don’t know how, but he did. And he confirmed that there hadn’t been anyone following you, us, Ivy, or anyone since two thousand and sixteen.”_ _

__“That’s comforting,” Rey sighed, though clearly still troubled. “Despite it all.”_ _

__“Yeah,” Ben responded, grimacing at what he was about to say next. “But there’s a reason why it stopped.”_ _

__“And?”_ _

__He took a bigger breath before he leaned his head back against the headboard, looking at her solemnly. “Rey, Palpatine ordered his men to raid where your parents were hiding and kill them.”_ _

__Rey’s breath hitched, making her chest pant slightly as she comprehended his words. Her worst fear was true. Palpatine had killed her courageous father—her poor mother. In cold blood, tears after she was born. They had run away so far and were safe. The Senator must have had them tracked as well, leading to their demise._ _

__She brought her hands up to her eyes, pressing the heels of her palms against her eyes. Slowly, she returned to her normal breathing cycle after the feeling of sorrow and grief for her parents passed. Even though she never knew them, she had sympathy for them._ _

__“I’m sorry, Rey,” Ben murmured, brushing back her hair from around her neck so she could calm down a little quicker. “I’m so, so sorry.”_ _

__Sniffling, Rey nodded. “It’s okay, Ben. I’m sorry, too.”_ _

__With that, Ben leaned his forehead against the spot just above her ear, feeling her press right back._ _

__“When we get home, I want to make a memorial for them in the back yard. For them, and my grandmother,” she mused determinedly though her heart still felt like it was shattered in a million pieces._ _

__“That sounds lovely, Rey. May I help you?”_ _

__She nodded, leaning her head away from his to look at his sad expression. “I would really like that, my Love.”_ _

__Her lips met his once more, this time slow and delicate, as if it were to seal their plan as a promise. Ben knew it would be too much to tell her everything else that happened in that library now. So, deciding to keep it to himself for a while, he held his darling wife close and laid them down under the cool sheets and lulled themselves to sleep._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!!
> 
> YAY! This arc is complete! 
> 
> Man, did I sob and scream while writing and rereading this because I broke my own heart. I thought I had already posted this one earlier...so I apologize for the wait! I got so caught up in writing the next little arc for our family!
> 
> Also, I realized I always end the chapters with sleep. I think it’s such a peaceful way to conclude a thought, like one concludes a day by going to bed. So I apologize for the trend lol.
> 
> ...that Ivy chapter I mentioned earlier...be ready for C U T E N E S S!!!! 
> 
> I miss her. Is it a thing to miss writing about your characters? 
> 
> Anyway, prepare to jump in time a little bit, depending if I want to post a college flashback or continue on with Ivy’s chapter and their future as a family. 
> 
> Yay! Stay safe, stay well, wash your hands! Drink lots of water (wa wa, as I like to call it ahaha)! 
> 
> All my love! X


	35. When We’re Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sure, it's nice to open a gift  
> That's tied up with a perfect bow  
> But the greatest present of all  
> Was given to me long ago  
> It's something I would never trade  
> It's the family that we've made
> 
> I would travel miles and miles  
> And I would follow any star  
> I'd go almost any place  
> If it's any place you are
> 
> 'Cause when we're together  
> I'll forever feel at home  
> And when we're together  
> We'll be safe and warm  
> Doesn't matter where we are  
> If you're there with me  
> 'Cause when we're together  
> That's my favorite place to be“  
> —When We’re Together; Sleeping At Last (originally from “Olaf’s Frozen Adventure”)
> 
> —
> 
> Rey and Ben make it home in attempts to heal from their last adventure, and love the little life they’ve made for themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a comfort fic that ties the arc up with a happy little bow. 
> 
> I’m so sorry to hurt y’all with that last chapter...have some fluff

Ivy’s eyes fluttered open to the sight of the pretty polka dots on the wall adjacent to her bed. The sunshine was bright in the white room, making all the beautiful colors her mama and daddy painted even more vibrant than she remembered the night before. She stretched out her little limbs against the colorful blankets, nuzzling her face into the plush fabric of her yellow blanket. Her hair splayed all across the white pillow sham, displaying a stark contrast as the dark, nearly black, curls laid elegantly in little ringlets. A large yawn escaped her form before she rolled herself up, and climbed off of her bed carefully. Before she made her way out of her bedroom, she made sure to grab her favorite stuffed bunny that went everywhere with her. 

When she padded down the hallway, she heard noises coming from the kitchen that was just around the corner. Lately, she and Lolli had been staying at her home despite her parents being away. Pop would come over during the day and stay well into the afternoon, playing with her outside and with BeeBee, but would leave as the sky grew dark. Ivy didn’t know why he had to say goodbye, which made her sad, but he promised to see her soon. 

Padding her little feet into the open space, she saw her Lolli standing at the kitchen island, cutting up something that, to Ivy, looked like strawberries. At the sound of the little girl’s entrance, Leia’s gaze traveled from the cutting board to where Ivy was climbing up onto the barstool chair across from her. 

“Good morning, Freckles,” Leia sing-songed, grinning at the small, freckled girl who had clearly just woken up from a restful slumber. “Did you sleep well?”

Ivy nodded her head. “Uh-huh,” she answered as another yawn took over her little form. Her grandmother turned around after she laid the knife down in the sink away from where Ivy could reach, and went to the fridge. She grabbed the jug of apple juice and took her granddaughter’s favorite sippy cup—a blue cup with many little yellow bumblebees—to mix the drink with some water before serving it to the little girl. 

“After you and I have some breakfast,” Leia told her, rounding the counter to present her with the drink, “we’ll get you ready for the day and go outside.” Her hand came up to rest on the little girl’s head, brushing back her wild curls lovingly. Ivy thanked her, a skill Ben and Rey were able to teach her pretty early on. 

“Can—can BeeBee come too?”

“Of course,” Leia shrugged. “He’s a dog, so I don’t see why not. He should be outside.” Her gaze turned to the happy pooch who had made his entrance, little paws tapping against the hardwood, tail wagging like crazy. Ivy giggled at the sight, using her free hand to tap against the marble countertop like his little feet. 

“We can chalk, Lolli!” The girl’s eyes were wide and hazel, just like her Mama’s, Leia thought to herself as she went back to the other side, pulling out the box of Cheerios from the pantry. Finding one of her Disney bowls, Leia prepared her breakfast with a little bit of milk as Ivy squealed and chirped away at the dog. 

“Do you still have chalk after you and Pop used it yesterday?” Leia added her strawberries into the cereal before bringing it back around to the distracted girl.

“Yeah!”

Leia raised an eyebrow. “Really? Because the last time I checked, there was more of a driveway than before you and him drew all over it.”

Ivy giggled to one of her most favorite people, eyes innocently sparkling with mirth. “But they’re pretty, Lolli!”

“They are pretty, Ivy,” Leia replied with ease, a smug smirk on her lips as she patted the counter next to Ivy’s bowl. “Eat your breakfast.”

Ivy smiled happily, picking up the purple spoon and digging into Cheerios with such eagerness. As she did, Leia leaned against the counter next to her, pulling out her phone and tapping on Han’s contact. 

“Hello?”

“Han,” Leia said after putting the phone up to her ear. “I need you to do something.”

“Ah, nothing like the sound of my bride in the morning.”

Leia rolled her eyes. “Go to the store and get Ivy a new box of chalk so she can color in the backyard for a while.”

“Look, your worshipfulness, let’s get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me.”

“Clearly you’re mistaken. And quit using that line—it’s been over thirty years.”

“But it gets my point across.” Han sighed into the receiver. “I thought that’s what she did yesterday? You think she’s still interested? She is your granddaughter.”

“She needs to go outside again today,” Leia told him, checking Ivy once more before she walked out towards the living area to look out the large windows. “And you need to be here again so I can make sure the place is ready for their return.”

“The kids are coming home today?”

“Ben texted sometime in the night saying that the trip ended earlier than expected. Something about them wanting to get home and back to normal.”

Han hummed. “I wonder if they’re okay.”

“I know they are,” Leia sighed quietly. “However Rey’s well-being with those twins keeps me on edge.”

“Leia,” her husband discouraged. “Rey is her own person, and knows when enough is enough. Give the girl some credit—she might be worn down, but at least she took care of herself, and our ever-so-careful son was there to help.”

Leia grumbled quietly against his claim. “Yeah, but that still doesn’t excuse the fact that she’s already high risk.”

“You’re right. Let’s just wait for them to get back and assess the situation. Until then, I’ll get some more of those damned drawing sticks and Ivy and I will have a hell of a hoorah in the backyard this time.”

Leia grinned at how Han-like that statement was and how much she truly did love her husband. “See you soon.”

“Alright, Sweetheart,” he said fondly before the two of them ended the call. Leia’s gaze turned back to her granddaughter, who was sneakily feeding BeeBee a singular Cheerio. 

“Ivy Sloane, get your breakfast away from that dog,” she scolded, only causing Ivy to giggle mischievously, jerking her hands away to her chest as Leia hurried back to the playful child. The grandmother took the bowl away realizing that the girl was obviously done as Ivy gave her a similar expression to Ben’s. 

Gracious, if those twins were anything like Ivy, they were going to be twice the handful. 

—

Later that morning, Leia had Ivy dressed up in a pastel yellow ruffled top and black shorts that were sprinkled in with pink, red, blue, lilac, yellow and white little flowers. A black now was at the crown of her head as Leia managed to tame her curls into soft waves, a little perky half-updo sprouting from the bow. It was warm enough outside for the choice of outfit, and it was easy to wash after she covered herself in the chalk. 

Han had made his way over quick enough with a new box of chalk, which made his granddaughter’s eyes grow wide with pure excitement. She squealed as she scurried after the man who walked through the home towards the back door. Leia followed at her own pace, leaning against the back doorframe as she watched the two exchange hugs and plans for their day outside. 

While he and Ivy resumed their artistry on the concrete around back, Leia began to straighten up the already tidy home. The target zones mainly included Ivy’s room, where the older woman made her bed, straightened her pillows and books, and put away her scattered toys. Ivy knew for clean up after herself, but Leia let it slide today since Han’s arrival tore her from her playing. 

Once the older woman finished, she made her way to the backyard, watching fondly as Han had adapted to Ivy’s transition of activity. Now, he was pushing her on the play set out in the yard. The little girl was as happy as could be, smiling just the way Ben would when he was her age, though her nose scrunched like Rey’s. 

Deciding to make herself useful, she looked down to the toy BeeBee had dropped by her feet, and gave him a grin. Bending over, Leia picked up the rubber ball and threw it across the expansive yard, watching as the enthusiastic dog chased after it happily. 

—

It was nearly two in the afternoon when Leia heard the door downstairs to the garage open. She was just cleaning up after making lunch for herself, Han, and Ivy when her dark-headed son made his way up the stairs, his wife following in suit. 

“Hey,” Ben said on a tired exhale, sliding off his sunglasses as he crossed the wooden floor into the kitchen. He was in a light blue denim shirt that was unbuttoned, revealing a white graphic shirt of a great wave across his torso, and his usual dark jeans. Leia turned herself towards him as he approached, embracing him closely as he wrapped his strong arms around his mother. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head as she patted him on the back. 

“Glad you’re both home,” she announced to the two of them. Rey had a slight waddle to her step now, though she smiled kindly at Leia from across the counter. She was in a peachy t-shirt dress that clung to her loosely, though her baby belly was now very visible. Her hair was in a loose bun at the base of her neck. Leia was glad she traveled comfortable while probably not feeling the absolute best. “Are you hungry? Have you eaten lunch?”

“We got something on the way home,” Rey answered her, rubbing the side of her belly comfortably. “But thank you, Leia. Did you rest here alright?”

Leia waved her hand as she pulled away from her son. Ben lingered close to her, suddenly desiring to stay near after all the craziness in their lives. She was always a steady rock for him, and he was so utterly thankful that she was here right now.

“Of course. I didn’t know you had redone the guest room?”

Ben nodded. “It was Rey’s idea once January passed.”

“I just thought it was time for a change. It had been that green color since we built the house. Plus, the whites, blues, and yellows just brighten the space.” Rey smiled sheepishly as she explained the reason behind the change. 

“Well, it’s absolutely lovely, Rey. And I hope you’re doing okay?” Her eyes were locked seriously on her daughter-in-law, concern pouring from her brown eyes. 

Rey shrugged, chuckling nervously as she pressed a hand to her lower back to relieve some of the pressure she was feeling. “I feel okay other than absolutely exhausted.”

“We’re going to go see her doctor tomorrow afternoon,” Ben reassured his concerned mother, who looked up to him worriedly. “We’re afraid Rey’s blood pressure has elevated. Which unfortunately means bed rest for her.”

Leia pursed her lips, leaning her hands against the marble counter. “You have to be so careful with that, Rey. It could send you into premature labor and cause so many other complications.”

Rey sighed defeatedly. “I know. Thankfully, that’s the last time we’re traveling that much until after these babes are born.” The hand that was on the side of her stomach now moved to rest on the top lovingly. 

“Good. As it should be. Plus, you’ve got an artist out there who could really use all the love her parents could give her until she gets commissioned,” finished the elder of the three, tilting her head in the direction of the glass windows across the space. Rey and Ben both turned their eyes to her line of sight, catching a brief glimpse of a dark-headed child. As quickly as they could, the two of them made it towards the glass, observing the little girl fondly. She was lounging against the concrete, coloring with a lilac piece of chalk sweetly. Her soft hair fell over her little shoulder as her face was scrunched in concentration, and from the bright sunlight, as she shaded in a random object. 

The two parents had worried about her from the moment they woke up in that hotel room in Germany. Now aware that people had been watching her, they wanted to surround her with love and complete protection. They had even discussed where they go next while they were on the plane home. Of course, they didn’t want to limit her from experiencing the world, and they remembered their little pact in the garden to not be as severely cautious. They were stuck in a limbo, but decided to take each day at a time. 

Taking the lead, Ben hurried to the back door from the other small hallway, Rey following with a relieved expression painted across her features. Slowly, the two of them exited the house, which did not seem to register in her busy little mind. Rey approached her first, bending down carefully to couch beside her young daughter, one hand cradling her growing bump. 

“That looks so pretty, Sweet Vine,” she crooned happily, hazel eyes watching as the girl jumped slightly, snapping her head up to the person next to her. It was Mama! Her mama had returned!

“Mama!” Ivy hopped up from her spot joyfully, identical set of eyes staring at her mama as if she was something magical—like a fairy. Rey smiled brightly, heart warming at the sound of her baby’s voice exclaiming her name and so happy to see her. Her arms reached out to the girl, who launched herself into her mother’s embrace. 

Rey nuzzled her face into the side of Ivy’s dark head, breathing in the comfort that was holding her child close to her. This was something she had missed so dearly while being away. She had held Ivy close to her body for nearly five years now, not even including the time she spent creating her. So separating, despite being for a week, was a shock to both of them. 

“Hello, my Love,” Rey cooed, relishing in how tightly Ivy was holding onto her dress. The young mother’s arms crossed over her little body to hold as much of her daughter as she could. She kissed the side of the girl’s head lovingly as Ivy giggled hysterically in her ear. 

“I missed you,” Ivy’s small voice announced as she pulled away to look her mama in her pretty face. Rey raised a hand to caress Ivy’s delicate cheek. 

“I missed you more,” she challenged, scrunching her nose at the child playfully. Ivy mirrored her, her own nose crinkling as she shook her head back and forth. 

“Nuh-uh. I missed you more.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Uh-huh! I missed you,” Ivy spread her arms out as wide as she could, “this much!”

Rey giggled, absolutely amused at the young girl’s demonstration. “How about we agree that I missed you as much as you missed me?”

“Okay,” Ivy caved with the world’s biggest smile, squeals rising from her throat as her mother pressed butterfly kisses all over her face. Then, the two of them pressed their foreheads together, scrunching their noses in unison. 

“As cute as you both are,” Ben called to the two from where he had greeted his father, hands on his hips. “I think I win at missing Ivy the most.”

“Daddy!” Ivy’s bright eyes traveled over to him, another wide smile appearing on her face. Carefully, she pulled away from Rey and scurried her way over to him. He grinned that sweet grin of his as he reached down to lift her into his arms once she arrived at his feet. Arms wrapping around his neck, Ivy squeezed him close to her, always adoring the big bear hugs her daddy always gave her. The man held his daughter against his chest, one hand steady on the center of her back as his opposite arm supported her bottom. 

Rey slowly rose from her crouched position, body aching from the effort it took to raise back up after all her traveling and walking. She grimaced slightly before replacing a hand onto her back, the other cradling her bump as she crossed the patio to her little family, mindful of Han and Ivy’s drawings. Once she approached, Ivy leaned back from where her chin was against Ben’s shoulder to extend her hand out to her mother. Rey kissed the delicate skin on the backside of her palm, adoring just how loving their little girl was. 

The little family stood there in the warm sun, dwelling in the delight that it was to reunite as a family. They giggled at Ivy’s quirky way of telling them of her adventures with Lolli and Pop, and BeeBee and Chewy, while they were away. Eventually, Leia beckoned them to come inside to rest together while she and Han would enjoy some sunshine together, letting them have a moment for themselves. 

—

The next day, as promised, the three of them made their way to her doctor. 

And, they were right about Rey’s blood pressure. 

It was too high for her doctor’s liking, to which she gave the parents a disapproving look each. She reminded Rey of how risky it was for her to travel, especially abroad, to multiple places while at the risk of preeclampsia. Because of her extensive traveling, more tests had to be run and blood samples analyzed so that they could determine if she had come into contact with any viruses while away. 

However, once her doctor turned on the ultrasound and got Rey to relax, the screen above them displayed a completely different image of the twins than in her fifteen week scan. Now at nineteen weeks, the babies were measuring up to fourteen centimeters, to which their doctor described as the size of a mango. Rey could see, and feel, the one on her lower left side, the side her hand often tended to, stretching out their little limbs. No longer were they the little blobs that rested inside the safety of Rey’s womb—they were active, despite the calmness of the second baby on her right side, who seemed to be clenching their little first. 

Rey cooed at the little action fondly before turning her attention to Ivy, who stared wide-eyed at the screen above their heads. Ben had her in his lap, hands clasped around her front so she would sit patiently as her mama was being cared for. He leaned his head against hers while Rey pointed up to show her where the baby, Baby A, was stretching their legs. 

“Do you see them, Ivy? They’re moving around a little.”

“They’re moving a lot!” Her eyes were still wide, studying the screen curiously. “Like a worm.”

The three adults laughed at the little girl’s statement, watching as she tried to imitate the wriggling of her little sibling. Ben squeezed her closer to his body, placing a kiss to the side of her head before he pointed to direct her attention back to the screen. 

“Do you see the other baby, Ivy? It looks like they’re waving to you!”

“They’re not so wiggly,” she commented. “I think they’re sleepy.”

“Baby B does seem to be resting,” Rey’s doctor confirmed with a kind smile, moving the wand a little more and pressing some keys on the ultrasound machine. “But they both seem to be right on track growth-wise. The tests we’ve taken should determine if you need to return for extra monitoring.” She then offered the wand for Rey to hold, which the woman took gratefully. “Would you both like to know the gender of the babies today?”

The two parents were quiet for a moment, turning their eyes towards each other nervously. Ivy squirmed ever-so-slightly in her father’s hold, playing with her stuffed rabbit, oblivious to everything that was happening. After exchanging a silent conversation, Rey turned her focus back to the woman. 

“Could you print out the results with the sonograms? We want to know, but not right now.” This was a decision the two of them had made on the plane ride home. Knowing Rey needed to go for a check-up once they returned, they agreed to keep the results unknown until they were rested and recovered from their already emotional journey in Europe. 

Fortunately for them, her doctor understood with a nod. “Of course. I’ll go get the images printed with the results, as well as a prescription for some blood pressure medication I want to put you on. When I return, we’ll talk about your next action plan for the next couple of weeks.”

The parents nodded appreciatively, eyes returning up to the screen as the doctor made her exit. They absolutely adored watching their little children move and grow. As Rey moved the wand, Baby A seemed to have jerked a little more, then once again. 

“Woah,” Ben exhaled with a smile. Rey chuckled quietly, her free hand going to that side of her belly as a comfort to the jolting babe. The two of them watched as the jolting continued, but Rey knew exactly what was happening. 

“They’re having hiccups,” she pouted, trying not to grin in adoration at the sight and feeling. Then, as if in response, and in the true connection between twins, she felt her right side begin jolting as well. 

“Oh,” she sighed curiously, turning the wand towards where Baby B was, and the screen displayed identical tiny movements. At that, Ben giggled, which caught Ivy’s attention, who never knew her daddy could giggle, her focus trained on him in surprise. Rey’s gaze also turned to his in amusement and sheer wonder as he looked at the ultrasound. 

“How cute,” Ben crooned before he tore his gaze away down to his oldest baby. “What do you think, Sweetheart?”

“You giggled, Daddy!”

Then, Ben and Rey laughed at her speedy remark, clearly surprised at how clever the little girl really was—though she did not know of it. Soon after, her doctor returned with a manila envelope that held the genders of their youngest children, as well as pamphlets paper clipped to it. 

As she assisted Rey in cleaning up, she instructed the young mother to remain on bed rest until the next appointment. She needed to see Rey’s blood pressure reduce back to a healthier state, which should return with her normal diet, less activity, and newfound prescription. However, this new lifestyle switch did allow for Rey to be at rest anywhere she wanted, as long as it meant she was not on her feet, and daily walks around her neighborhood. Yoga was also an option, though nothing too extensive that involved her on her feet for too long. After answering a few more of their questions, Rey’s doctor bid the expanding family farewell, and presented the little girl—the same one she watched grow from the first ultrasound her mama had years ago—a Doc McStuffins Sticker on their way out.

—

Once Ben situated Ivy in her car seat, giving her a couple of kisses to her cheeks for being so well-behaved, he found his way to the driver’s side and climbed in next to his wife. 

Rey held the envelope between her nimble fingers, staring at it intently as Ben made himself comfortable and started up the SUV. She itched to I do the little latch and see the scans again, just to physically see those two little humans again. Her heart longed to pull out those images, not caring about the genders of the two, but of their well-being, and talking to Ivy about them and her role as a big sister. 

“Rey,” came Ben’s voice through her clouded thoughts. The woman lifted her chin before turning her eyes to her husband, who was giving her a knowing look and a complacent smirk. 

“I wasn’t doing anything,” she defended herself as she laid the folder down flat on her lap. “I promise, x-ray vision has been turned off.”

“I really want to know, too,” he admitted confidently, sights steady on her. Rey’s lips parted slightly before she began to smile. Her hands took up the envelope once again, this time holding it out to him to take. 

“Take it away, Dad.”

“Yeah,” Ivy giggled, imitating Rey playfully. “Take it away, Dad.”

Ben gave her a look, though he scrunched his nose at her. “Hey, it’s ‘Daddy’ to you, Ma’am. Also,” he began as his hands went to the metal clasp, “where did this attitude of yours come from?”

Now, Rey had turned herself around to look at the snarky little girl in her car seat. All she did was smile mischievously at her parents. 

“I’m a big tough girl! I can tie my sandals and everything!” 

The girl kicked each of her feet out in the space behind Rey’s seat, clicking her sandal-clad heels together amusingly. Ben and Rey could only gape at each other, utterly astounded at the sass that she was now presenting. 

“Ivy,” Rey said wearily, though with a smile on her face. “Where did you learn that from?”

“Hercules, Mama! Meg says it! Lolli thought it was funny when it played!”

“Of course,” Ben hummed, an identical mischievous gleam in his eye. “Leave it to Leia and those ridiculous movies to brainwash our sweet little girl.” At his last words, his eyes cut back to her disapprovingly, though not harsh enough to make her upset. Ivy continued to giggle and swing her feet, obviously proud of herself for remembering the big quote from the movie. 

“We’re stalling, Ben,” Rey urged, returning to a comfortable position in her seat. Ben huffed out a breath of air before his hands continued to work at opening the envelope. 

“I’m surprised you still want to know after realizing we’ve just made two more of whatever that was,” he said under his breath with a smirk, which caused Rey to swat at him. 

“Open it!”

“I am, Angel,” he replied calmly, finally unfolding the top and peeking inside. He saw the scans inside, which his hand went to grab. Pulling them out slowly, his eyes studied the dark images of the two. It still amazed him how two little humans, his two little humans, were inside of Rey. It still puzzled him how that sassy princess of his in the backseat came from Rey, too. 

Eventually, his eyes found the small words with exclamation points ending the announcements on either side of the little bodies. Ben let out a shaky breath as his chest flooded with overwhelming emotion. He was so glad. He was so proud to father these little babies with Rey and create a whole new life with them. 

This was his future, everything he would choose over and over and over again. Loving these four people in his life was something he was honored to do, and what he felt most proud of. Ivy and these twins were his greatest accomplishments. Marrying Rey was his redemption. And this life was his paradise. 

“Well?” 

His glossy eyes flitted up to his wife, who was watching him closely. From the backseat, he felt Ivy’s eyes on him as well. A flirty smile broke out over his face as he silently worshiped the woman next to him. 

“Looks like we’re going to have one of each.” 

Rey’s jaw dropped, thrill and excitement washing over her like ocean waves warmed by the shining sun. She shifted in her spot, bringing a knee up against the black leather seat so she could durn her body towards him. Tucking her long, wavy hair behind her ear, she and Ben’s hands met on the console as they both touched the sonogram images. Her lips were still parted in more intense shock as she concentrated on the photos, while Ben held the end she wasn’t looking at to take another look at his babies. 

“Both,” she said quietly, voice higher out of surprise, unbelieving this reality. “We’re going to have a little girl and a boy, Ben.”

His smile had turned into a blissful grin as he basked in the appearance of the figures on the photo paper. 

“Ivy,” the overjoyed mother called to her oldest child, leaning over a tad to see the girl in the backseat. “Did you hear what we were saying.”

“No,” Ivy replied honestly, gaze curious. Whatever they were talking about was something she couldn’t understand, and it frustrated her. 

Rey chuckled lightly at the troubled expression on the girl’s face. “Don’t worry, Darling. It’s nothing bad. Daddy and I know if you’re going to have brothers or sisters.”

“What are they?”

Ben’s eyes looked back to her as he carefully pulled the rest of the scans from Rey’s hands to show Ivy in the backseat. “You’re going to be a big sister to a a little brother and sister, Ivy.”

Leaning her body as far forward it could go, Ivy ogled at the things that looked like babies, but nothing like her dolls. A small coo came from her as she stared. Then, she was finished and leaned back against her car seat. 

“What do you think, Sweetheart?”

Her parents watched as she crossed her arms over the stuffed bunny snuggled to her chest. “They don’t look like my dolls that are babies.”

Rey giggled as she took the images from Ben’s hands. “Not yet. But when you get to meet them, I assure you they will, Lovely.”

“Will they be nice?”

“I’m sure they will, Ives,” Ben answered her fondly, glancing up in the rear view mirror to her as he pulled out of his parking spot. “As long as you’re nice to them, they’ll be nice to you.”

“Will you and Mama love me like you love them?”

Ben and Rey froze, not expecting a question like that to be asked of them—at least not this early. They shared a look before Rey quickly responded to their daughter, knowing their hesitation would cause issues. 

“Of course, Ivy! Why do you think that we wouldn’t?”

“Because Kody from school says that mommies and daddies get too busy with other babies.”

“Sweetheart,” Ben said worriedly, eyes focused on the road but mind running a thousand miles a minute. “Your Mama and I love you so very much. Just because we might be busy taking care of the babies doesn’t mean we would ever run out of love for you.”

Rey looked back at their daughter with loving eyes, though troubled by the girl’s thoughts. “You are the reason why we wanted more babies. We love you so much that we wanted more little people to love.”

“You won’t forget about me?” Her hazel eyes were wide, grasp on her stuffed bunny nearly fatal if it were alive. Ben felt horribly for his girl and her rabbit as he looked up in the mirror to them. 

“Absolutely not,” both of her parents confirmed at the same time, Rey turned in her seat to look at her seriously as Ben watched her in the mirror. They were at a stoplight as they went to pick up Rey’s prescription. 

“Pinky promise?”

Rey looked over to her husband. “Ben, give me your pinky.”

“I kind of can’t while driving, Sweetheart.”

“Yes you can. Do it, please,” she pleaded with him, accepting his right hand pinky as he continued to drive with his left. Rey became the liaison between the father and daughter as she extended her other arm into the backseat, which Ivy took happily.

“Pinky promise,” she nodded to the girl, a small grin forming on her lips as Ivy’s usual sparkle in her eyes returned. She giggled happily, snuggling that worn rabbit close and watched the city pass by through the glass. Rey turned in her seat, bringing Ben’s hand up to her lips and pressed a kiss to the back of his palm. In return, he did the same before their hands rested on the console of their SUV. 

—

Later that afternoon, as Rey found herself unwillingly down for bed rest, Ivy and Ben found themselves attached to her side on their yellow couch. Ben prepared lunch for them, something that went along with Rey’s meal plan, and something separate, but just as healthy, for their quirky little girl. Now, it was nearing Ivy’s nap time as they lounged together in the afternoon sunlight. 

“Right here, Babe,” Rey instructed the little girl kindly as some movement occurred on the lower left side of her belly. Ivy’s little hand went to the spot, so small against the swell of Rey’s stomach. Rey’s own hand pressed against her bump, teasing the little one to move again. Successful, Ivy finally had the opportunity to feel one of her siblings wriggle around. 

“Woah,” she said, surprise written all over her face. Those wide, hazel eyes kelt looking at the little nudges appearing from under Rey’s skin. “It looks like—like when you poke your finger through slime!”

Ben’s brow furrowed in amusement as he looked away from the sonogram images to the silly little girl. He tilted his head to the side, tapping her on the shoulder with a light finger. 

“And who have you been making slime with?”

“Auntie Rose,” Ivy replied, tilting her head backwards to look at her father upside down before returning back to the moving baby. “I saw her while you were gone.”

“Ivy,” Rey said with a smile, “you didn’t tell us that you went to see Auntie Rose and Finn?”

Ivy shrug her shoulders. “I saw Aunt Kay, too. She let me hold and play with Willa!”

Ben and Rey’s gazes met momentarily, confused as to why no one had told them that they were in charge of their daughter while her parents were away. 

“Did you have a good time, Love Bug?” The little girl’s mother lifted her hand from her belly and ran it down the girls straighter, yet wavy hair. Ben had grabbed his phone from the rectangular sienna ottoman in front of them, going to text their group chat. 

Ivy nodded her head. “It was a lot of fun! Uncle Finn played games with me.” 

“What kind of games?”

“We played dress-up. He was a pretty princess!”

Rey’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Uncle Finn was a princess?”

Ivy hummed. “Mhm. The prettiest in all the kingdom!”

“And what were you, Dovey?”

“I was a superhero. Uncle Finn called me,” she paused to remember the name, eyes squinting closed as she thought hard. “Sally—Sally Ride!”

Ben and Rey exchanged a different look, this time, one of full amusement as the both tried not to be shocked to scare her and burst into laughter to get her riled up. Extending a hand, Ben gave his strong girl an affectionate pat on her head. 

“And I’m sure you were the bravest superhero in the galaxy, Misses Ride,” he tried, voice cracking with laughter.

“I was, Daddy! I was!” Ivy turned her head around to grin at him, a look so cheesy he had only seen it on Rey’s face when she was being funny. Oh, how he loved the pair of them so much. 

By now, she had grown bored of not seeing the babies move and began to slide off the couch. She clamored over their extended legs, then proceeded to head back to her bedroom. 

“Wait, Ivy,” Rey called for her, graining her head back to watch her scurry away. Sighing, she pulled down the material of her shirt and the hem of her high-waisted skirt before sitting up slowly to inch closer to her husband. “What have you discovered?”

A playful smirk was painted across his lips. “See for yourself.”

With that, Rey found herself reading their conversation through the screen of Ben’s phone. 

Ben: So, when were any of you going to tell us that you took Ivy while we were gone?

Poe: *sends awkward gif*

Kaydel: the same time you guys decided you were interested in the lives of your friends. Or are we too lame to join your Jetset? 

Finn: oof, brother. 

Ben: Easy there with the accusations, Ms. Congeniality. We haven’t forgotten about you. 

Kaydel: then where have you been? Willa is in desperate need of more uncle Ben and aunt Rey snuggles, and I need a drink. 

Ben: Long story

Finn: great! You can tell us over dinner tomorrow night at our place. 

Ben: Rey has been put on bed rest for the next couple of weeks until her blood pressure returns to a healthier state. 

Kaydel: then bring the whole bed. I don’t care. You want to know what we did with your precious treasure? Then you gotta come find out. 

Poe: *sends flirtatious gif that definitely indicates how he’s hot for her right now*

Poe: update—Kaydel yeeted the remote at me from across the room and I think I’m bleeding?

Finn: serves you right!!!

Rose: Yes, we took Ivy off of Leia’s hands for a couple of afternoons—I hope you’re not upset! 

Finn: We haven’t seen y’all in a while and knowing Ivy was still around, we snatched her because she was the easiest to get. 

Ben: That is not something parents want to hear about their child while they’re gone. Especially by the people they trust.

Poe: it’s true. Picked her up, strapped her in the back of our rockin’ mini-van, and sped away. 

Poe: update—she threw one of Willa’s bottles at me. 

Ben: Did you at least use the car seat?

Finn: What are we, a bunch of responsible adults? 

Poe: the rebels of the La Résistance don’t need car seats. 

Kaydel: not even Willa who can’t even hold her own neck up by herself. 

Rose: We borrowed the one from Leia, Ben. 

Ben: Sally Ride didn’t go to space for you assholes. 

Poe: she didn’t go at all, bro 

Kaydel: AHAHAHA

Rose: You all are downright horrible. 

Finn: !!!! You have to see this photo, Ben. Looks just like her, I swear. 

*sends photo of Ivy dressed in a blue onesie, some kind of helmet on her head, and curls very frizzy that day*

Kaydel: literally the best part about it all. hands down 

Ben: Oh my god. 

Poe: i c o n i c

Rey and Ben were weak from laughing so hard, eyes watering at how horrendously funny their friends were. It was times like these that they missed being young adults and fucking around with no real worries. They wouldn’t trade their life married with kids for the world—even Kaydel would admit to that now—but sometimes, they miss just being friends. 

Having friends that didn’t know their history or care, really. No expectations other than to just have a laugh. Who didn’t expect them to be ready to travel across the world at the drop of a hat. 

Maybe when they were young, but not anymore. 

This is the life that Rey wanted for herself, that she purposefully chose. The people she met at school loved with hearts open wide. They were her first real family. The Lintra’s were in a way, but there was just always something different about it. These people accepted her for who she was and didn’t judge. Ben was a war Veteran, she considered. And Kaydel knew that, too. Rose knew some about her past because she was her first roommate. Ben definitely knew some things about Finn and Poe that Rey wasn’t aware of, but were definitely things that shaped them into the people they were today. Rose had a sister who had passed away so tragically. Kaydel had baggage with all the people she flirted around and hooked up with—or at least claimed to until she admitted that most of her flings were with Poe. 

They all had something to carry that was brought into the friendship, but none of them cared. Poe once told them all that their troubles that they entered their group with were all thrown into the fire like the panty raid. 

Tallie hung on to Rey’s past, and cling onto the things that hurt her the most. She wanted to avenge it all. Rey had moved on because her friends let her. They cared about her well-being than how they can help her get what she wanted. 

And for that, Rey was grateful. 

After the had calmed down, Ben turned the SmartTV onto something with soothing music while Rey leaned her head against his collarbone. Ivy had returned with her blanket, and a couple more toys that were scattered on the floor, but her parents didn’t mind. They sank into the comfortable cushions of the couch, legs propped up onto the ottoman, and snuggled together with blankets and Ivy’s stuffed, nearly mutilated, rabbit. Ben turned his head into Rey’s, an arm draped over her with Ivy snuffling soundly against his torso. Her parents protected and loved her, even in sleep, as the both kept a hand on her small back. With the dog by Ben’s side of the couch, the little family drifted off into a comfortable doze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!!
> 
> Wowowowow was this part so desperately needed after the emotional rollercoaster we left on. I’m sorry about that.
> 
> It’s different from this perspective. When I was writing the last chapter, I thought it wasn’t interesting or made any sense. I endlessly tried to ornament it as much as possible in fear y’all wouldn’t like it. However, your responses have been so overwhelmingly positive. Thank you for this joy! 
> 
> Also: !!!!!! The twinnies!!!! I’m super excited just to focus on bringing these two into our little universe because OOOF if we need some Reylo baby baby snuggs. 
> 
> If you have any name ideas, please drop them in the comments! I have been debating on so many back and forth and I need some outside opinions.
> 
> And...we finished off the chapter with sleep ahaha. I LOVE COZY LITTLE SNUGGLES meep I’m a mushy mess.
> 
> Anyway
> 
> All my love! X


	36. We’re Still Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You were on a frequency,  
> The perfect opposite of me  
> Though I never needed any proof  
> To trust the heart that beats inside of you.
> 
> There is color deep within your eyes,  
> A history that only you and I could write.  
> There is pigment in your memory,  
> The origins of our family tree.  
> Though I never needed any proof  
> To know the heart that beats inside of you.
> 
> Only one thing really matters:  
> We're still here. we're still here.”  
> —We’re Still Here; Sleeping At Last
> 
> —
> 
> In the blink of an eye, time passes for the little family. These are their recollections.

Twenty-six weeks into her pregnancy, Rey felt like a completely different person. 

She was so much bigger now, in more than just her belly. The weight gain had reached its thirties, which caused her to break into definite tears. The babies were bigger for their size, which was none to Rey’s surprise given the size of their father. She tried her best to keep an exercise routine despite feeling nearly immobile. Her doctor finally released her from bed rest since her blood pressure had lowered significantly after returning from her trip. Ben was so patient with her despite nearly ordering her to take a seat nearly every time his eyes landed on her. 

The three of them made an effort to visit their family psychologist, the same one they had visited after Rey’s miscarriage. Doctor Mannin was so kind to the little family, and was more than happy to meet with each of them one-on-one. In those sessions, Rey spoke with him about her recurring depression, to which had become better, but as time went on and the longer she was stuck like a sitting duck, the crazier her thoughts went. She felt so behind with her work since she couldn’t leave the house, behind with the twins’ nursery since she was planned to be induced at thirty-nine weeks if she hadn’t experienced contractions before then, and she was at a loss on how to prepare their daughter for the arrival of the two new babies. 

Thankfully, the doctor gave her pamphlets and informational guides on how to manage their child’s transition pre- and post-arrival. After a few weeks, Rey slowly began to feel as normal as she did before she was pregnant. 

Ben also met with Doctor Mannin privately, and the two discussed Ben’s troubled past and anger issues. Already being diagnosed with PTSD and moderate MDD, the trouble with his anger wasn’t all too horrible anymore. However, the doctor wanted to ensure that he was doing all he could to handle it now that there was going to be several changes happening in his daily lifestyle. He also assisted Ben in coping with the more severely repressed memories, especially those involved with the combat and horrific things he encountered. A lot of his sessions involved him breaking down into tears because he was finally able to process each memory, each traumatic event properly through the help of EMDR therapy. But, like Rey, he slowly transformed into someone different. He was more in-tune with his emotions, and even more gentler than before.

Sessions with Ivy were a little different since she was so young. But, Doctor Mannin was able to reach her on her level through having her color images from her own creativity and talking about them. Most of them consisted of Ivy still feeling apprehensive about being forgotten by her parents, to which Rey and Ben were instructed to spend as much time as possible with her, making everything about her even when the twins were home, and getting her involved with helping them take care of the babies. 

They were encouraged to accept help from their friends and family with taking care of the three of them. He told them of the importance of providing enough time to properly be by themselves as individuals and as spouses. New babies can make or break a family relationship due to the stress and significant shift in how life plays out. 

Doctor Mannin also advised them to keep up the counseling, all three of them, until their life can level itself back to a homeostasis. He was weary of how troubled each of them could become, especially with the weight of Rey’s high-risk situation on both parents’ shoulders. Soon enough, the risk would be eliminated, but a whole new wave of worries could potentially cause chaos once those two little people entered the picture. 

Other than that, their life went by blissfully.  
—

April was such a beautiful time as Rey’s flower garden in the backyard blossomed with such elegance. The two of them created a memorial for her parents and grandmother next to the one dedicated to their first little baby. In the garden soil, underneath the blooming lilies and tulips, sat two medium-sized stones. One was in the shape of a heart with two little footprints printed on the face with a heartwarming message: 

“Your tiny feet left such big footprints on our hearts.”

The second, one that looked several years younger, was a regular rectangle shape, stars speckling it’s surface with the message that made Rey weep:

“Perhaps the stars in the sky are loved ones letting us know they are near by guiding us through the night.”

She was so happy that her lilies had blossomed all around them. Every other day, she went outside to water them and spend time in their company. 

—

Ivy played outside joyfully with her chalk and bubbles alongside the dog more frequently. The days were warmer than before, the sun shined more often, and she was happier. The mother and daughter took up yoga sessions outside on the back patio, despite Rey feeling so huge that she couldn’t reach her feet any longer. Ivy told her it was okay because she couldn’t reach her toesies either. 

Her arms were too short at the moment. 

A lot of the time, those yoga sessions would be about ten or fifteen minutes of the two of them before Ivy would run off to play on her swingest. Rey focused her attention during the slower moments on the happy little girl, absolutely adoring their special time together before she was to become a big sister, and Rey a new mum for the first time in almost five years. 

Observing the girl in her own little world, Rey leaned her hands back on the supportive yoga mat, allowing her body to relax in its seated position. Her belly was out since she was just in her sports bra (which had upped in size, much to Ben’s pleasure), belly band, and athletic leggings. The sunshine was wonderful against her tanning skin. She almost felt normal again, but somehow, like this was the life she was meant to live. 

—

Ben’s hair grew in April as well. 

It was much longer since when she cut it in the beginning of March. It was wild how fast his dark waves could grow in such a short amount of time. They hung down a little past his shoulders, almost in complete curls like Ivy’s. 

Rey had absolutely rejoiced when she found the photo Ben had stashed away in his office of his grandfather. Anakin was smirking up to the camera just like Ben would, though that wasn’t what thrilled Rey. It was Anakin’s curly hair. His longer, blonde, curly hair. 

She waddled (more significantly now) back to the kitchen area the day she found it where Ben was writing something on his laptop at the island. Her feet led her over to him and from there, she presented the photograph. The man quirked an eyebrow at the photograph, giving it an unamused look before his gaze flickered up to his smug wife. 

“See! I told you Ivy’s curls came from you!”

“You’re kidding,” he said flatly, running a hand through his longer hair, fingers tugging at the dreaded locks that kept his neck way too warm for the rapidly increasing spring temperature. “I didn’t realize it was going to take five years for someone to give me the credit I deserve.”

Rey could only giggle before she brought the picture up closer to her face so she could study his grandfather. “Anakin was a real looker.”

“Grandmother was one lucky lady,” Ben commented lazily was he returned his gaze back to his laptop screen, reading the last bit of whatever he was doing. 

“Especially with that golden hair,” Rey sighed fondly, tracing over the figure teasingly, intentionally trying to get Ben riled up. “And those blue eyes. So alluring.” 

Her husband glanced at her, eyebrow furrowing ever so slightly, though he continued to not play into her antics. “Mhm,” he hummed deeply.

“Was his signature thing dark clothing? Because wow if it doesn’t make him even more appealing. It’s like an Angel that fell from heaven,” Rey tempted further, really eyeing the image between her fingers. She looked at Ben through her peripheral vision, who had squared his shoulders a tad more than before. 

“I always had a thing for bad boys,” she said at last, letting it purr of her tongue sinfully. Before she knew it, Ben had plucked the photograph from her hands and slid it down the neck of his shirt, all while keeping himself composed. His wife could only laugh at him and placed her hands on her curvier hips.

“Is someone jealous?”

“You are filthy, Rey,” he responded, a slight smirk ghosting over his lips. “That’s my grandfather you’re talking about.”

“And?” Her eyebrow raised at his comment.

“You can’t call him a ‘bad boy’ like that, and not so wickedly. Not only is it somewhat unholy, but near damnable for what it does to me.”

“Please explain.” Ben shifted in the barstool seat before slowly turning his eyes to her, a vexing glimmer sparkling on her form. 

“You’re lucky I’ve gotten you pregnant, because if you weren’t, I would show you what a bad boy is really like.”

Rey’s cheeks heated with a small flush. “Is that a guarantee?”

“It’s a promise, Angel.”

“I’ll keep you to it,” she winked before brushing the front of his hair back, to which he leaned into her touch fondly. “Go to your barber to get a little bit of a groom. Rugged bad boys aren’t my style.” With a click of her tongue, and Ben’s ears burning, she grabbed at the cook book and took up the photo once more, then proceeded to wonder away towards Ivy’s room. 

“Ivy! Where are you, Darling? I have a photo I want to show you!”

—

The parents ever so casually slipped the gender reveal of the twins to their friends one night while having dinner. Ben was tending to Willa, Kaydel’s three-month old baby, like the good uncle he was. He and Kaydel were the closest out of the friends, despite Rey and Finn nearly acting like siblings. 

There was just a special connection there between the more emo members of their group that the rest of them wouldn’t understand. 

Kaydel was the one who stood by Ben’s side at the graveyard when Anakin’s casket was lowered into the ground next to Padmé’s so many years ago. Her hand laced with his as they both shed silent tears. He his eyes looked over to his grieving mother, who was standing tall, brown eyes glistening as Luke held her close to him. His father was on Leia’s other side as the twins laid their last parent to rest. Anakin was finally at peace with his darling somewhere in the astral plane beyond their eyes. 

Rey remembered that day in 2011 when he and Kaydel had went home for a few days. Ben returned to school a little different after that, but what he would never tell Rey was that it was her who kept that sunshine in his life. 

The two of them had given their friends the full run-down, including as much detail as they could since they had a very curious and observant little girl who will ask questions at home later. They described everything Iva read from the journal (since that was the least violent of stories with Ivy fluttering about the table), and explained how they met Palpatine, but nothing more that would have been too upsetting.

Kaydel was there to vouch for Ben when he told his friends of his past life. She had letters and photographs of them when Ben would return to the States briefly. He also told them of how Kaydel was his friend that came by the house every day when he was finally home and did their university course work with him. 

Everyone had their eyes on him as he spoke of things that he had revealed to Rey. However, his own followed the happy little girl frolicking around her aunts and uncles as he continued to explain why he didn’t tell them earlier. It was a life he didn’t want them to remember him by. With a smirk on his face, he begged them to remember him as the sarcastic asshole who had his nose in a book and heart eyes for the girl who would eventually be his wife. 

“He’s talking about me,” Kaydel said, pointing to herself jokingly, causing everyone to laugh. 

Kaydel’s baby girl was born on a chilly morning in January. The day before her birthday, Kaydel had went for a check-up and complained of constant lower back pain as well as lower abdominal pressure. Immediately, her doctor went to check her cervix and told her that she was most definitely in labor, being thirty-eight weeks, and that it would be a matter of time until her water broke. 

Kaydel and Poe were shocked beyond words. When they got her moved into the maternity birthing ward, he sent a text to everyone in their group chat in the form of a photo of he and Kaydel giving the camera a thumbs-up. He captioned it, “send help.”

Eventually, Rey and Rose got together to go to Kaydel’s home and grab the things she insisted they bring. The new parents had already packed the baby’s hospital bag, but didn’t think they would need hers so quickly. So, the two women packed what was asked of them and high-tailed it to the hospital. 

Poor Kaydel, she had broken into terrified, frantic tears when they entered her hospital room, reaching out to them like a lost child. The ladies rushed to her side and held her close, listening as she released her overwhelming emotions. She thought she wasn’t ready to be a mother, that little Willa still needed a bit longer to cook, and that she would never be someone her baby girl would look up to. Poe kissed that last part away from her mind with one of the sweetest things Rey and Rose had ever heard him say. 

The ladies almost started to cry. Their friends were becoming parents! 

After they shared a moment, Rey found herself brushing the poor mama’s sweaty hair away from her face. Rose stood near the other side of her head, whispering encouraging things only Kaydel would understand, and Poe kneeling beside her bed holding her hand as her body fought through a contraction. 

Never in his life was Poe more thankful to be surrounded by such strong women. 

Three months later, two thirds of their group were now parents, waiting for the day Rose and Finn decided to jump on the bandwagon (even though for Kaydel and Poe, it was an absolute accident). The two newest parents were doing well with co-parenting, even though Poe had moved in with Kaydel and their relationship was in full bloom (like the stable part of Ross and Rachel’s relationship). They were happy where they were at with marriage nowhere in the foreseeable future. 

Finn and Rose were doing as well as they normally were. Rose was happy teaching first graders every day as Poe went to work at one of the best planetariums in the city, inspiring the hopes and dreams of young future astronomers or astrophysicists. He was a researcher and installation designer there, and was one of the most successful and engaging keynote speakers when offering new, cutting-edge science to a mass audience. Children loved how silly and fun he was, and parents adored how enthused he was about his job. 

Needless to say, Rey designed the interior of their new home based on star constellations and roses. 

After catching up on everyone’s lives, Rey causally had been asked by her friend about the progression of her pregnancy. 

“This week makes nineteen, officially,” Rey grinned, tucking her hair behind her ear. “We actually went to check on them yesterday.”

“Did you guys find out the genders yet?” Poe raised an eyebrow at her before Kaydel swatted his bicep. 

“Poe,” she discouraged, “that’s probably something they can’t find out yet. And even if they did, they probably wanted to announce it on their own time.”

“Oh, we know,” Ben said causally, looking down at the little baby in his arms who was blinking up at him with gray-brown eyes. He leaned his head down to hers and pressed a sweet kiss right where her little skin had crinkled. 

“You know?” The whole table jumped up at his comment, eyes wide, all speaking out of turn as they anticipated their response. Rey looked up to them from where she had turned her gaze gown to her husband and new little niece. Taken back by all the commotion, she raised her voice slightly to get their attention from their squawking. 

“Woah,” she calmed them, gesturing with her hand for them to quiet down. “Yes, we know. And we’re not doing an elaborate announcement to our close friends and family.”

“No gender reveal party?” Finn’s bottom lip poked out into a pout. Ivy looked up to him curiously, who had frolicked her way into her uncle’s arms, then proceeded to imitate him by pouting her own lip. 

“No, and you already know what they are, Viney,” Rey said with a pointed look at her daughter, who giggled and looked away shyly. 

“I forgot,” she said innocently. 

“Of course you did,” the girl’s mother laughed. “I have the sonograms in my purse. I’ll go get them.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be on bed rest?” Poe raised an eyebrow her direction. 

“That fight has already been lost,” Ben said, looking to the other man as Rey left the room. “Don’t try and fight it. She’ll be back.”

They chuckled and carried on as Rey returned a few moment later with the sonogram images between her fingers. She stood next to Ben’s chair over them all, glancing around the group to gage reactions. 

“Would you rather I just tell you, or put these in the middle of the table and you all have at it like those tigers on that new show on Netflix?”

“Dude,” Poe laughed, eyes lighting up at the new topic brought up. “Carole Baskin definitely killed her husband.”

“Of course she killed him,” Ben said with a furrowed brow, placing a hand on the small of Rey’s back as she shifted next to him. Rose had made grabby hands towards little Willa, and Ben handed her off happily. “It’s a given. Did you see how she responded to everything in those interviews?”

“The Interviews with the man’s former family was heartbreaking,” Rose replied, nodding at her dark-headed friend. “The genuine reaction on those ladies’ faces, his daughter’s emotional testimonies—there’s no way Carole isn’t responsible.”

“How in the world does someone sane laugh and brush off taking the entire estates of her former husband’s children? Thinking it’s okay?” Kaydel was now leaning on her elbows as they dove into the conversation. 

“I don’t know,” Poe shook his head, spinning his bottle between his fingers. “But I she’s definitely a,” he broke up to grumble something under his breath, eyes flickering up at the little girl who was too distracted by Finn to really be listening. “Let’s just say those cats will have their revenge.”

“But did Joe really ask Allen to kill Carole or do we think he was set up,” Kaydel asked them all seriously with a raised eyebrow before Rey expanded the roll of sonogram images.

“Debatable,” Rey answered, laying them down in the middle of the table that they had cleared a while ago. 

“I really do think that’s a hard thing to decide,” Rose tried, bitting the inside of her lip, carefully patting the baby on the bottom lovingly. “Because it depends on how good of a person you think Lowe is.”

“And your thoughts on him?” Ben turned his head to Rose. 

“I think he’s kind of sketchy. He probably framed Joe because everyone hated him so much, and it made the government turn their eyes off of him and the crimes he had committed.”

Ivy squealed once her eyes landed on the pictures in the middle of the table. “Babies!”

And just like that, the conversation ended as three of the four friends jumped from their seats to look at the scans. Their faces were all hovering over the black and white images, which threw Ivy off because she was bumped out of the way by her child-like uncle to see her siblings. Her gaze immediately sought out her parents for an explanation, which was happily met by Ben, who gestured for her to join him and her mama. 

Rey had taken her seat once again next to her husband as he reached over to lift Ivy up onto his lap. She cupped her hands against the little girl’s cheeks and nuzzled the ball of their noses together. 

Finn’s eyes jumped up to Rey, and then to Ben once he found the answers they so desperately searched for. His mouth was agape, gaze surprised and thrilled all at once. 

“We’re gaining another dude to the crew!” He laughed happily, head turning to Poe who was sharing the same expression, though mischief written across his features. Kaydel squeezed herself through them, giving them both a grumpy look before to the other set of parents adoringly. 

“But Ivy, Willa, and your other baby girl are going to such cute friends! God, congratulations, you reckless fools!”

“It’s about time the men of the La Résistance regain their dominance!” Poe raised a fist in the air before Kaydel bopped him on the chest with her fist to shut his stupid ass up. The man huffed out a breath before returning his sights to Finn, who was awaiting a high-five with an extended hand. Poe smirked, then proceeded to slap the absolute shit out of the poor man’s palm, eccentrically thrilled to have another boy in his ranks. 

—

Sometime later in that month, Rey was propped up on their yellow couch, scrolling through her phone and potential nursery themes for their little babes that were well on their way. The television played idly before her as she relaxed, bump protruding out much more than it had three weeks ago. The babies were heavy, they pressed on all Rey’s insides, and made her sleeping severely uncomfortable, but she wouldn’t have changed it for the world. 

That day, she was under the peachy throw she had added to their colorful living room collection while Ivy played happily somewhere in her room (Rey only knew this because of the little giggles and conversations she was having—which were framed like the way Ben and Rey spoke with one another)

Her husband was lounging on the same couch, Rey’s legs draped over his lap casually while he read a new novel he had found while at the local bookstore. They had purchased Ivy a couple of books as well as added new ones to the twins’ sizable collection—all passed down from Ivy’s infant years. 

He had gotten that haircut like she asked of him. In fact, he got it cut so short that Rey was nearly flabbergasted when he walked back into the house. That lovely mess of dark hair were now off the back of his neck—something she hadn’t seen him sport since they were in school. Rey could still finger through it and see the shorter waves, but quickly ended and slipped between her fingers before she could make it six inches away from his scalp. Even the bottoms of his ears were showing, which was not something he had ever deliberately chosen to exhibit. 

But Rey had to admit, he still looked so fucking good, and at least he was a lot cooler. 

Deciding to express her thoughts, like Doctor Mannin suggested, she laid her phone down on the yellow couch cushion and cast her eyes upon Ben. 

“Hey.”

“Hi,” he greeted in return, a kind tone in his voice as he turned a page. 

“I’ve been thinking about something,” continued the woman. “For a while now.” Her foot nudged the inside of Ben’s upper thigh when he didn’t respond. Now, she had his complete attention as he jolted at the pressure on the sensitive spot 

“I’m guessing it’s pressing,” Ben grunted in surprise, shifting his position slightly. He closed the cover of his book carefully before putting it aside so he could focus on her. 

“It is,” Rey sighed, hands going to their usual spot on her bump that was just beneath her breasts. Ben followed suit, leaning closer to her to caress the larger curve lovingly. 

“What’s on your mind?”

“Well,” faltering, Rey slid her bottom lip between her teeth and watched Ben fond over the place where their babies were growing—much too quickly, she would argue. His large hand could no longer cover the expanse of her stomach, but was thrilled all the same as he felt their more distinct movements beneath his fingertips. “It’s about my time at home and being on rest.”

Ben hummed, acknowledging that he was following along. 

“And how I’ve been on leave from work.”

“But you’ve been working from home.”

“Yes, and that’s fine,” she stalled before her eyes trained themselves on his masculine features that had seemed to slim since his complaining in London. It nearly sickened Rey at how easily he could achieve his ideal physique in such a short time. Especially while all she could do was consider walking from the couch to the kitchen a workout and make eating cookies an Olympic sport. 

“But I’ve been thinking about work—the job in general.”

Ben’s brow lowered confusingly. “Okay,” he spoke slowly, turning his gaze to meet Rey’s nervous one. 

“I think I want to quit.”

Ten, there was silence. They sat on their lovely couch in utter stillness as Ben processed the weight of her words. She had been working that job for so long now, since she had graduated from school. Ben was aware that it wasn’t her most favorite thing in the world, as he noticed how much happier she was painting and creating. What made his heart especially happy was how she constructed crafts and homemade rockets and baking soda volcanoes with Ivy regularly. Rey needed to be using her hands to be making things, whether it be art or projects. 

And she exclusively adored making babies and making sure her family was absolutely, one-hundred percent content with their blissful life. 

“Do explain,” Ben responded calmly, blinking his brown eyes at her. 

Rey released the breath she was holding—though it wasn’t much of one anymore—as she realized how collected he still was at the prospect of another major life change. “I have loved every single moment that I’ve been home with you and Ivy. It’s so fun to watch her grow and play every day, and how she is so glad to be back home when you drop her off. I’ve loved being close with the both of you, being more involved with making meals—and even watching her play.” 

Her eyes grew soft, a fond sparkle now forming as her forehead crinkled in adoration. “Oh, Ben. I’m not a musical genius, but she’s doing so well with her lessons. And I love learning to play with her, too.” 

Ben listened intently, leaning his head back against the cushion of the couch, gaze full of love for his lovely wife and mother of his children. 

“I’ve wanted this domestic life since I was able to understand just how nice it was at the Lintra’s. And after that chaotic trip and those horrendous meetings, I realized that designing the interior of some stranger’s home is not for me.”

Ben snickered at her comment. Rey’s eyes were wide as she defended herself, hands waving around in exasperation. She finally dropped them to the tops of her thighs with an exhale. 

“I want to be a mum. I want to raise my children with no expectation of having to return and leave them so quickly. I want more time to create—even with them! Going out to chalk has been such a pleasure after all this sitting around. And the thought of returning so quickly after these little ones are born—.”

She stopped herself with an affectionate rub to the swell, so ready to finally meet the two that she and her husband made out of pure love. “I really don’t want to do that.”

Another moment of silence passed them before Ben blinked slowly, watching as Rey worried at the inside of her lip. Before he would let her thoughts spiral, he responded with the most simple of responses. 

“Okay.”

Rey’s head snapped back up to look at him, eyes growing wider as her confusion yet utter relief began to wash over her. “What?”

Ben nodded, taking an arm off of one of her legs and resting it behind his head, bicep pulling against the hem of his thin purple heather-colored shirt. “Okay.” 

“What,” she cut off, brow furrowing slightly. “What does ‘okay’ mean? ‘Okay,’ as in alright, or ‘okay,’ as in ‘I hear what you have to say and your emotions are valid, but it can’t happen.’ You have to give me some context.”

“Okay,” Ben started before he leaned up from his position, scooting closer to her. He wrapped his body around her torso, hand supporting his hovering on the strong arm of the couch. His face was now near hers, and he grinned. “‘Okay,’ as in, I believe in you, and I want to support you in any endeavor you so choose.”

Now it was Rey’s turn to smile. “You’re really okay with it?”

“Rey, you have every right to do whatever the hell you want. Would switching to a sole income be a little daunting,” Ben paused to shrug. “Yeah, but we’d work it out.”

“I would still be commissioning,” Rey pointed out. “I also could teach lessons virtually—like Bob Ross.”

Ben let out a laugh. “Bob Ross? Really?”

“Yes! You know how wonderful his tutorials are and how authentic he is.”

He gave her his half-smile, amused by his little wife. “If the next Bob Ross you want to be, then hell if I’m to stop you, Sweetheart.”

They both took the moment of silence to consider their options going forward. Of course, it seemed rather scary to think that they were about to have a second lifestyle change, on top of a big one, but Ben was ready. He was more than ready to be there for his wife and help her accomplish anything she wanted. He had her back and would go to the ends of the world to make her happy. 

“You could even teach lessons in your studio. I wouldn’t mind random strangers entering and leaving our house on the biweekly basis.”

Rey giggled. “As much as I appreciate that—and I do wholeheartedly, Love—I’ve also considered working with your dad and cousins in the shop.”

Now, he was completely taken back. Never in his life did he think there would be a day where Rey deliberately told him of her desires to work in the shop. Yes, she had a lot of training in mechanical engineering, and yes, his father had implored her for years to join him. But he never imagined that she’d want that. 

Since the day the two of them revealed their pregnancy to Han—more so when Ivy announced for them—Ben remained in contact with his twin cousins Jacen and Jay, Luke’s boys. He knew the shop was definitely in the Solo family name, and was fully aware his father would crumble if they were to lose it. Han somewhat understood Ben’s distaste in working with his hands, but he taught the boy everything he needed to know to help him survive in life regardless. In fact, when Ben was seven, he told everyone that he wanted to be a racer like his dad. But also a pilot like Anakin. 

A Jack of many trades. 

So, with the mushiest of hearts that being married and a parent left him with, Ben decided to go into a partnership with his cousins. He knew that they would respect the namesake, especially since they both worked there themselves with Han and his other grandfather, Grump—otherwise known as Benroy, who Ben’s namesake was NOT after. 

Grump was one of the grumpiest men Ben had ever met, and his father definitely would agree. Han was the first child and only boy out of four children, which left him in charge of taking over the popular business that Benroy had began so many years ago. Ben was also the first of the Solo grandchildren as he was the Skywalker’s, since Han was the oldest yet twenty-three when the baby was born. Rightfully so, Ben also had first dibs on what to call his father’s parents. Grinny was already decided by Han’s mother, but Benroy insisted that he’d go by “Benroy” (“That’s my name, damnit. The kid better fuckin’ know it, it’s just like his.”). 

However, when Ben was finally able to start talking, Grinny was Ginny, and Benroy...

Well, let’s just say Ben was good at reading people even at the ripe young age of nine months, and Benroy became “Gump.”

“In baby talk,” Han teased, looking smugly at his unimpressed father as the older man held a giggly baby Ben awkwardly in his hands, “that means Grump. Which is exactly what you are, Old Man.”

Though he be a tough man to love, Han adored working side-by-side everyday with his dad. 

He just wished Ben wanted the same. 

Little did Han know, Ben did want that, but he knew it wasn’t the life for him. But, with the prospect of Rey joining, even though Han was now working less frequently, it would still bring some sort of joy that a part of his son would be involved—seeing as to Rey was his counterpart. 

Finally, after a moment to consider these things, Ben spoke up, despite the amused look on Rey’s face. “So you’re telling me, you want—absolutely desire and intentionally want—to sacrifice your skirts for dirty overalls and a backwards drag racing hat that is covered in grease and grime?”

“Do you have a problem with that?” Her eyebrow raised in question. 

“Even if I did, you would still do it anyway.”

Rey grinned. “You know me so well.”

“Mhm,” Ben hummed onto her lips after leaning in even closer. They both shared a loving, lazy kiss, something they fortunately had the opportunity to do more often. “It’s like I know you, or something.”

“Stop,” she cautioned with a grin, remembering back to how her friend accused him of not knowing who she was that day in the German garden. 

“But hey,” he smirked. “This way, I’ll get to see you in messy little buns all day, dirt on the tip of your nose, and dark oil streaks all over our hand towels”

“I would never allow motor oil to get all over our towels.”

Ben laughed flirtatiously before returning his eyes back to her. “Well then, Angel. If you want to be a rust-bucket junkie like my father and cousins after me, then by god you best leave oily fingerprints all over various places on my body.”

Rey flushed violently at his comment, lips parting ever so slightly as he leaned closer to whisper, not risking Ivy hearing their naughty conversation any further. 

“Either that, or paint. Preferably blue, but not both. You choose.”

—

It was also in the month of April that Ben realized he was going to have a son. 

Not that welcoming another little girl was a bad thing, nor the idea of having more doe-eyed heartbreakers like Ivy running around who were going to give him a run for his money one day. He absolutely adored his girls—Rey, Ives, and the littlest one, too. 

But he was going to have a son—a little boy. 

There was just something about the idea that thrilled him to his core. He already experienced feeling the same way about a baby girl. He was nearly in tears when he processed it because of how sweet it was and just how much of a little mirror she would be of Rey. And honestly, he was totally excited then for the challenge of a daughter. He wanted to raise her like Leia raised him, and even dreamed that one day, she would be as crazily independent and strong-willed as his mother and his darling Rey. 

He still felt this way about bringing that second little girl into the world. Would he raise her the same way he raised Ivy? Would he be different since it’s their second round at parenting? He considered all of this back and forth, nearly worrying himself to death over feeling like he was required to choose who he favorite girl was. Was his heart not big enough to love them all? 

Rey was forced to nearly kiss him senseless in order to get him so far out of his head. She reassured him that he would be the Best Dad, regardless of they had two boys, two girls, one of each, or a parakeet. No matter how many kids they had, Ben vowed to love each of them the same and treasure their tiny spirits forever. 

Many a night he laid in bed, feeling like he might come to regret that later on. However, he always remembered Ivy was not only a little rainbow baby, but a bright hope that was going to change the world one day. 

And it truly was because of Ivy and the joy she brought to their life that they decided to have another. Little did they expect to have two instead of one, but that severe shock had long since faded. 

He hoped his second daughter was like Ivy: kind, quirky, and oh so funny. But he knew that the little girl, Baby B, was to be her own person. He just couldn’t wait to see who she would become. Would she be like Rey, ever so curious and stubborn, constantly wanting to go and do? Or would she be like him, inquisitive and broody, independent yet dependable?

Regardless of who she would be, his greatest hope was that she would be loving. He hoped his son was like that, too. Because heaven knows that the world they lived in deserved a little more love. 

Han was proud to have a son, Ben knew. But he was sure that his dad wasn’t very happy when Ben started taking more to writing and acting. Though he always knew how to get his father to laugh hysterically with the wild, yet snarky, things he would create. Deliberately, Ben would write hilarious monologues out of hope to see his father proud of him, and it worked.

Ben’s magic wasn’t in his hands when tinkering, and he saw how sad it made Han. However, because he could sense Han’s frustration, he would go out of his way to ask his dad how to do things. Things he had always been interested in, but topics that he knew he could relate to his father with. 

Despite being his Grandy’s number one biggest fan, he also idolized his father. Han always tried his best to impress his son with cool gadgets or things out in the garage. Sometimes it would work, and Ben would oblige happily and learn to tinker around with it. Other other times, Leia would nudge him in the side to go make himself interested.

He hoped his son would want to be his right-hand man. Baby A, their boy, was already the more active of the two. He was the more restless twin Rey already had to comfort on her left side more often than not. The babe definitely knew his mother’s touch and comfort, for sure. Ben prayed diligently that he, along with his sister, would know him, their Dad, too. 

Man, was he so ready to adore those bundles of pure love he and his darling Rey created together. 

Ivy began to follow Rey around like a little duckling as of late, and Ben found it absolutely adorable. Rey was now reduced to full waddling due to the increasing weight of the babies, and, in reaction, their little girl began to mimic her happily. 

Oh, how he couldn’t wait to add two more to his little trail of ducklings. 

—

April was full of other moments in their lives. The two parents began to involve the twins in their everyday conversations with Ivy so she would continue to transition into big-sisterhood fairly easily. She was doing well as Rey talked her through her responsibilities and how she was to care for her siblings. Ben continued to read her stories that were directly written for children adjusting to new babies. They gave her all the love in the world in every way possible, snuggling her until she fell asleep, playing with her at the park and in her room, and continued to spend time individually with her. 

They also were tasked with helping her transition into kindergarten in August. She was doing exceptionally at her pre-school, reading well for her age and slowly beginning to write letters, her name, and drawing random shapes and pictures. 

Ben assisted her with her phonetics at home, incorporating several learning books and repeating several different words or phrases. They built her vocabulary and challenged her to use whatever word she learned that day in a sentence. The two of them worked on rhyming words in poems, rhythm while speaking (linked with Ben playing little melodies on the piano), and having her read to him. 

Rey helped her with her math and writing skills while they were together during the afternoons. Arts and crafts became their daily life, making cards or drawing pictures for their fridge, creating puppets, popsicle stick friends, and even Sporky from Toy Story with a little kit she had picked up at the store. With chalk and paint (on large, blank child sketchbooks, of course), Rey taught her how to write her name. It was slow, and many of the same letters covered Rey’s sheet of paper so the girl could watch the way she wrote it. Three letters later (which she was so thankful that they gave their girl a short name), Ivy had written “IVY” with poor penmanship, but nonetheless her name. Then, they began writing the dog’s name, which Rey reduced down to “BB” for the girl. As the days went on, Ivy had learned to write “MAMA” and “DADDY,” words with repeating letters. 

Ben was so proud as he looked down over their heads to the paper on her art table. He ran his hand through her wavy hair lovingly, which was growing less in curl and more straight with a little ringlet at the bottoms. Ivy leaned into his touch, proud of her own self and mentally exhausted from the demands of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Another fluff and filler chapter that kind of leads into the next arc—the twinnies! 
> 
> I hope you all have enjoyed this story so far. I feel that it is getting rather long, so my next plan is to start up another fic (a sequel, more so) in a collection that follows this little family’s life once the twins are born. 
> 
> Just to keep it interesting still! 
> 
> Mainly, this fic feels like exposition to me the more I look back over it. Though I’m not upset by it. I think it’s important to know where you come from to know where you’re going! :-)
> 
> Let me know your thoughts!
> 
> All my love! X


	37. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I've tried before to tell her  
> Of the feelings I have for her in my heart  
> Every time that I come near her  
> I just lose my nerve as I've done from the start
> 
> Every little thing she does is magic  
> Every thing she does just turns me on  
> Even though my life before was tragic  
> Now I know my love for her goes on
> 
> Do I have to tell the story  
> Of a thousand rainy days  
> Since we first met  
> It's a big enough umbrella  
> But it's always me that ends up getting wet.”  
> —Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic; Sleeping At Last (originally by The Police) 
> 
> —
> 
> Rey spends her birthday a little differently this year, but any day with Ben is a day to celebrate.

May 2020

A bright gulf of light was all Rey could see when she opened her eyes. 

Somehow, from her (long-awaited) deep sleep, she was pulled back to consciousness by the sound of humming in her ear. The tune was very familiar, but she couldn’t quite place her finger on it until she was finally alert. 

It was the melody to Happy Birthday, sounding from one of her most favorite people in the world into her ear. 

The humming continued as he nuzzled his head into the side of her neck, nose tickling the skin just below her ear. When he finally felt her stir, Ben pulled himself away carefully, and hovered over her. 

“Happy Birthday, Rey,” he murmured only to her that morning, leaning down once more to place a loving kiss to her temple. Her hands found their way up to her eyes to rub away the remnants of sleep. Turning her gaze up to him, she gave him a lazy smile. 

“Thank you, Darling,” Rey said softly, voice still heavy and slightly raspy from sleep. Ben flashed her favorite grin and went in to press a quick kiss on her lips. 

“I have been waiting for this day for so long.” He admitted this as he lowered himself down onto the mattress, still draped over her with his arm around her swollen torso. She lowered her brow with a confused grin, reaching her fingers up to brush away some of his fallen hair. 

“Why? It’s just another day,” she replied casually. Ben gaped at her, almost as if he was offended by her lack of sentiment and regard for the day that it was. 

“How could you say that about the day I get the opportunity to utterly devote my life to my bride even more wholly without exception?”

A giggle escaped the lips of his birthday girl as he leaned down to pepper sweet kisses all over her face. In response, her hands moved to the sides of his cheeks. 

“Isn’t that a normal day?”

Ben hummed with a smirk, closing the distance between them with all the adoration in the world as he met his lips with hers. He kissed her with such reverence, such humility for spending yet another one of her birthdays with her. Unfortunately, the wild and pleasurable surprises he usually treated her to were to resume next year; the twins were a surprise, but nonetheless loved and accommodated around. 

“We have your maternity shoot today,” Ben whispered onto her lips as he began to pull away from their kiss. His eyes gazed down onto her beautiful face, full of beauty and glowing—not just from her pregnancy, but because she was such a ray of sunshine. Butterflies flew around joyously in his stomach as the feeling of absolute pure zeal he had for the smaller woman beneath him. 

Rey released a breath, a finger beginning to trace the outline of Ben’s lips tenderly. “Remind me again why we scheduled them for today?”

“Because our usual festivities have been put on pause,” her husband grinned. “Not to worry. I have other plans for you.”

At that, a shiver ran down Rey’s spine as she imagined just what he had in mind—naughty and all. He watched as she became flustered, heat rising in her already-tanned cheeks and went to press kisses to them. “Save it for later. There’s a bunch of love that’s waiting to wish you a happy birthday at the door.”

Ben lifted himself, calling to the little person who was waiting almost impatiently behind the door. Now propped on her elbows, Rey watched as the door swung open and a ball of energy burst into the room. Ivy, who was dressed for the day, bounded into their large bedroom, squealing as she made her way over to their bed. 

“Mama!” Her eyes were full of excitement, hazel irises a mirror of Rey’s own, as she clamored onto the mattress. Ben helped lift her up since she was so short, but Rey brought her into her arms all the more merrily. 

“Happy Birthday, Mama,” the little girl cooed as she wrapped her arms around Rey’s neck, nuzzling against her mama lovingly. Rey held her as close to her body as she could with the now larger bump, placing kisses to the girl’s dark hair. 

“Thank you, Little Love,” mused the mother, carefully situating then once Ben propped pillows up against the headboard for them to lay against. The three of them found comfort against the colorful pillows, Ben sat up slightly taller than the two, arm propped against the top of the pillows, supporting his head with his fist. Ivy was sitting on her knees looking eye-level at her mama, who was leaned back in a causal position, hand moving to rest on the top of her bump. “It means so much that you came in to tell me!”

“It’s your birthday, Mama,” Ivy replied simply. “I just love you lots!”

Rey cooed, reaching her arms out to embrace the girl once more. Ivy curled around her expecting mother, giggling happily as she felt the love radiating from Rey. 

“I love you too, Sweetheart. You make me so happy!”

Ivy tilted her chin up to nuzzle her nose against her mama’s, a little thing that the two of them did frequently. It was one of Ivy’s quirky little ways of showing affection. Rey hoped that no matter how old she grew, they would always have that between them. 

They continued to lounge around in Rey and Ben’s large bed, while Ivy hopped her away between them. She and Ben took turns feeling the twins moving and wriggling around inside of her Mama. Ben claimed they were also showing Rey all kinds of birthday love. They snuggled together, Ben lifted Ivy up over their heads so the silly little girl could fly, and squished her close so Rey could take a number of birthday morning pictures of the two dark-headed angels. 

She was enjoying herself so much that she would have preferred to stay in bed all day with the two loves of her life. Ben wouldn’t have objected if they didn’t plan her maternity pictures to be taken. They both agreed it would be fun to get dressed up and go out of the house for the day since they really couldn’t travel and do the things they normally would have done for either of their birthdays. 

It was definitely no problem, but Rey had to admit, she missed alcohol. Badly. 

Eventually, the little family made their way out to the spot their photographer asked them to meet at. It was out in a field somewhere under the warm spring sun, flowers blooming and lake water glistening in the background. Rey had dressed herself in a yellow sundress that draped off her shoulders, splitting a little up her leg stylishly. Her longer hair was wavy now, glistening auburn in the sunlight. Ben was put in a light Blue denim button up and khakis, while Ivy wore a goldenrod and white checkered skirt with a tucked-in cream shirt embroidered with all sorts of flowers in the center. A cream little bow kept her dark, wavy hair out of her face as they took family photographs. 

The photographer was very patient with the little girl, as she had decided that today was the day she was going to be a little mischievous. Not long after, Ben had to wrangle her up and hold onto her as the photographer, Masie, grabbed her attention. The three of them took incredibly darling photos together, then some of Ivy and Ben, Rey and Ivy, Ben and Rey, Rey by herself, Ivy by herself, and reluctantly, Ben by himself. 

As they were looking through them at a particular time, Ben found all the ones he adored silently. Many of them were of the mother and daughter, multiple of Ivy being the Schmoop she was (coined from his favorite television show, The Goldberg’s), and a particular stunning few of Rey. She looked like a golden sun drop, so elegant and gracefully pregnant—if that was even a thing. Ben stood in awe as he peered over Masie’s shoulder down to the camera screen. Rey carried their babies well. Motherhood was delightful on her. And Ben couldn’t get enough of it. 

Rey absolutely adored all of Ivy’s photos, and giggled at Ben’s, as he gave the camera that grin she loved so much. There were a number of them together that were just so precious; they held each other, Ben holding her and the twins; Ben and her holding hands; one where his back is turned to the camera, though he be kissing the top of her head, while she leaned it against his shoulder, gazing at the camera lens, cradling her growing bump. 

However, there was a close up shot of them kissing that Rey nearly cried over. Ben had cupped the back of her neck in his large palm as he leaned into her. They were both smiling in the kiss as Rey’s body was turned mainly towards the camera, left hand placed on the top of her large swell, head turned to the left while Ben pressed himself close. 

She knew exactly where it was going to go in their bedroom. And all the others they took, mentally hanging them above the piano, in the foyer area, many of the funny ones in her studio, and multiple of Ivy on their dresser. 

—

Rey was surprised by the rest of the day’s events. Ben drove them back home, where Kaydel and Rose had thrown her a small party, inviting all their friends and family. Poe and Finn had a grilling station out back where they were making the main meals for their dinner. The ladies, and Leia, had made a beautiful display of peach, pink, white, and creamsicle balloons that arched over the table that hosted all kinds of intricate pastries and desserts. Faux lilies littered the table in mason jars tied with sparkly ribbon. And, as an extra touch, Leia added Ivy vines to snake along the table and through the balloons. 

It all felt like so much to Rey, who had just been gifted an elaborate baby shower for the little babies. Leia was in charge of that one, and it was absolutely delightful. Unlike today, everything was yellow and vibrantly colorful, almost like a Mexican colored blanket, which is exactly the style that Rey wanted the nursery to be decorated in. Many different baby necessities were gifted in pairs, two of everything, clothing unisex solid colors, others gender-specific; pacifiers, bottles, bibs, burping cloths, a twin stroller, many, many diapers, and so much more awaited for Ben and Rey’s organization in the bedroom that would be the twins’. 

Rey nearly cried as she clung to Ben’s side, so glad to see all of their friends, work friends and normal gang, Hux, Ben’s friend, his parents and Luke’s family, cousins on Han’s side, Jay and Jacen, plus Frankie, Ben’s youngest, teenage cousin. Jay and Jacen also had kids, so Ivy had run off to play with them. After she was calmed down, Rey went back to change into something a little more flowy so she didn’t feel like she was obscurely sticking out. 

She was just returning from her closet in a rosy linen tencel fabric with ruffled shoulder sleeves, a drawcord at the neckline and a button-down placket when her eyes flickered up to Ben standing in their bedroom doorway. 

“Hey,” Rey smiled warmly, twisting her wedding ring around on their finger as she waddled out to him. “I was just about to come back. Why are you back here?”

Ben shrugged casually, giving her his famous grin as he stepped towards her. “Just wanted to be with you,” he answered lazily, closing the distance between them ever so slightly. Rey hummed, butterflies fluttering (or babies, she couldn’t tell) in her stomach as she pressed herself into him. 

“I was only gone for ten minutes.” Her arms wrapped themselves around his neck, dwelling in their private little moment. “Could you not handle yourself?”

“In my defense,” he nuzzled his head against hers, eyes fluttering closed, “I can’t be left unattended.”

Rey laughed as they stood in their spot in the middle of the room. “You’re a child,” she smiled at him, watching as his face broke into amusement.

“Maybe so, but it makes for fun stories.” With that, he pulled back and pressed a kiss to her hairline. “They’re waiting for you, Princess.”

“I’ll just let them know a clingy husband got the better of me,” smirking, Rey loosened her grip around him, sliding her hands down his shoulders to his hands. 

Ben rolled his eyes with a fond grin. “C’mon,” he said quickly, leading them towards their bedroom door to their awaiting party guests ready to celebrate. 

—

Later that night, after everyone had left, party was cleared with tons of leftovers and desserts in Tupperware inside the couple’s fridge, Ben and Rey said goodnight to their sleepy child who was nearly gone as she leaned against Han’s shoulder. Leia had her overnight bag over her shoulder and stuffed rabbit in her loving grasp. The grandparents bid their son and daughter-in-law goodnight once everyone had left so they could have one last moment while the house was quiet with their little Love Bug. Then, with the final click of the front door, Ben pivoted on his heel to his birthday girl. 

She was cradling her bump lovingly, looking at him with an innocent gaze, bottom lip slipped between her teeth. Utter happiness coursed through her from all the love she felt today, especially from Ben, who endlessly poured into her. He was like an oasis of love when she needed it the most, but also a treasured gem that Rey could never take for granted. 

Slowly, her husband took a few steps forward, closing the space between them. He slid his hands in his khaki pockets as he strode over to her. 

“You’ve got a number of presents to open, Angel,” he informed her, eyes flicking up to the breakfast nook where they all sat. Rey glanced back, shrugging her shoulders shyly. She wasn’t one to open gifts in front of people. Never had been until Ben absolutely made her when they were in school. 

“I’ll open them later,” she told him, turning her attention back to him. “I’d rather just be with you.”

He quirked a brow to her, a humbled grin appearing on his lips. “What makes me so special?”

“I guess it might be because of my absolute obsession with you,” Rey teased, scrunching up her nose. 

“An obsession? With me?” Ben smirked. “I had no idea.”

“It took a lot within me to admit that to you. The least you could do is be a little more considerate.” Her gaze had turned into one of complete offense, though there was still a trace of a smile on her lips. Rolling his eyes, Ben leaned down to quickly steal a kiss from her rosy lips. 

“Sounds like a personal problem,” he shot back with a wink before carefully pulling at her arm. “Follow me.” 

Scoffing, utterly amused by her husband, Rey turned and trailed after him as he weaves through the furniture playfully. She giggled, being a little more careful as she was still waddling and wasn’t sure of how much room she was taking up anymore. Ben extended a hand to her along the way, chuckling quietly, and led her to the back door. 

Outside, while Rey was saying goodbye to everyone, Ben had set up their own private wonderland in the backyard. Soft yellow fairy lights were strung above them and down the sides of the house in intricate ways. Tall, white candles were littered around the back patio with other forms of lanterns, mason jars and tin cans full of her favorite flowers. Only a couple of the balloons they had from the party remained in scattered locations. Within all of this, their back patio loveseat had been cleared and redecorated with comfortable throw pillows and a couple of random blankets folded neatly on one of the cushions. 

Rey gasped quietly as she took it all in. It was absolutely perfect for the cool spring night, and the stars were shining down upon them heavenly. Her thoughts were instantly taken back to that night eight years ago on the beach when the two of them first confessed their love for each other. 

Oh, wasn’t that a time ago. But all of her praised whatever force above for that day. 

“I figured we could do something a little bit different than lay around in bed for the rest of your birthday,” Ben said once a smile had painted itself across Rey’s face. “Since were doing a lot of things different this year.”

“I didn’t realize part of the distance was nearly going back eight years ago,” Rey giggled, stepping forward into the warm space. Ben laughed aloud, a beautiful sound in Rey’s ear, and followed her to where she was headed to the loveseat. 

“Didn’t you hear, time travel is in, and this time, we’re redoing that whole night over again, except in the fashion of Han and Leia.”

Like the dynamic pair they were, Rey took her turn to laugh at Ben’s remark. She lowered herself down slowly onto the comfortable cushions, watching as Ben did the same next to her. As his arm draped across the back of the couch, Rey curled into her husband, leaning her head against his collarbone. 

“Did you have a good birthday?” Ben asked her the question, ducking his chin so he could see her face better. Leaning into his side, hand caressing her swell, she nodded quietly. 

“It was a wonderful birthday,” she hummed, then averting her gaze from the scene before her to her husband. “Did you plan all of this?”

Ben shrugged simply. “It had been on my mind for a while. Plus, all those mornings alone in London meant incredibly late nights for Kaydel, who officially organized it in my absence.” 

“So, you didn’t help at all, then?”

“My plan, Sweetheart. My ideas.”

“But she did all the work?”

“A pivotal aspect of being a powerful leader,” Ben began, staring off into the distance dramatically with a shit-eating grin on his lips, “is to always know when to schmooze your way into getting people to do things for you.”

Rey gaped at him, pride radiating in her gaze. “You are so rotten.”

“Ask Mother how she got any of her shit done in those capitol buildings,” replied her husband, laughing at just how ridiculous yet genius the concept was. “She’s the prime example of a capable, influential leader.”

“That sounds like manipulation, Ben! Leia couldn’t ever manipulate someone to do her bidding. She’s too stubborn to do it her way.”

“Oh, then you haven’t seen the way men tremble in the presence of Leia Organa Skywalker.”

“That seems just short of a dictatorship.”

“Maybe.” He turned his body to face hers a little more. “But done in the most professional and poised of ways, one could cause chaos and never fall victim of the blame.”

“What if the contrary happens?”

“If it all works out,” a sleazy grin formed on his face, “then you get to take the credit.”

“Wow.” Rey huffed out a laugh. “But seriously, Ben. What did you have a hand in doing?”

He was hesitant for a moment, making her believe his only job was to distract her. “I deliberately asked for the fifteenth for the maternity pictures because I knew it would get us out of the house for a while.”

“You mean, there were other days?”

“I may have only revealed only two of the days she was working, one of them being today, the other after the twins come.”

She swatted at him with a scrunch of her nose, indicating that she was not too terribly mad but flustered. They could have spent her whole birthday snuggled in bed and watching their favorite, kid-friendly movies. 

Ben gave her a shy, close-lipped smile. “I called in all the cakes and desserts, picked them up on my way home from work yesterday and bombarded Rose’s place with them. The calligraphy of the signs was done late in the nights last week after you had gone to bed. Called all the family and friends to get everyone here. I also made a list one night in bed of all the things I know you enjoyed, and sent it to Kaydel to choose from.”

Rey’s eyes glistened as she watched him muse what he did in such a humbled manner. He was never the one to pridefully exalt his efforts, let alone make anyone aware of what he was up to. Rey believed it was something he learned from Leia. 

His more modest side was plain as day, she noticed, observing how he refused to meet her eyes, playing with her fingers bashfully in his lap. When he finished, his slid his bottom lip between his teeth meticulously, hallways doubting that it wasn’t enough—that he didn’t do enough. 

“Sometimes,” she murmured to him, turning his chin to her gently with her free hand, “I wish you would take credit for the amazing things you do. Like being a party planner.”

He grinned at her comment, chuckling through a huff of air through his nose as they pressed their foreheads together. The warm glow of all the lights radiated warmly on their faces as the stars shined down upon them. While he was talking to her, she had pulled one of their cozy blankets over her, extending some to him in the event he felt a little chilled as well. 

“The things I do aren’t for me,” Ben admitted plainly. “They’ve never been for my benefit.”

“I didn’t mean—,” she began worriedly before he interrupted by stealing a kiss from her. 

“I know what you meant, Angel.” He brushed his lips against hers once more before pulling away to look sincerely into her eyes. “But I want you to know that every ounce of who I am and what I do is for something good. To make up for all my selfish ways—.”

“Ben,” Rey soothed, using her delicate fingers to sweep some of his dark hair away from his face. “You are so selfless. Especially for such a broody, headstrong drama queen who just can’t seem to land his big break.”

“Was my name not at the top of the cast list again?” His voice had turned whiny, rising in pitch as he put on the act. “I guess I’ll just have to go cut my hair and dye it blue because I’m DONE for.”

His birthday girl burst into laughter, tilting her head back as she held her bump. How she would spend the rest of her day was not at all as she imagined, but leave it to Ben to make it one hell of an event. Whatever they did, as long as they did it together, the two of them had a blast. 

They were funny. They were awkward. They were both so stubborn. But, they both loved each other all the more for it. 

“In all seriousness, though,” Ben started after a few minutes of laughter between them. “I want to give you my gift.”

“Ben,” she sighed, a crinkle forming between her eyebrows as she watched him rise from the couch. “You don’t have to give me gifts. Today was one enough. We could’ve been in bed all day and my body would have considered that a holy offering.”

He was on his feet now, winking down to her before her made his way to the door. “That’s what tomorrow is for.”

“If you’re going inside,” she called to him, finding a different position on the comfy loveseat. “Bring back some of the leftovers.”

“Already on it.”

After about five minutes, and Rey sending silent thoughts and love to her wriggly little humans growing in her belly, Ben returned. He had a rectangular and square box in one hand and a plate of different desserts in the other. Handing Rey the plate, allowing her to choose first, Ben sat back down with her presents. The boxes neatly wrapped in solid, powder blue wrapping paper, a stark contrast to the heavily pink theme. Rey quirked an eyebrow up at him as she leaned back against the pillows, holding the plate out next to her. 

“Way to bring in a different color scheme, Love.”

Shrugging, Ben defended himself. “The better of the chosen colors, obviously.” Carefully, the two of them exchanged items, Ben taking the plate as she took the presents. 

“You can’t eat without me.”

“Why not?” He had already picked up a chocolate-covered strawberry. “You’re eating for three and have never shied away from food—ever. I deserve a head start.”

“Don’t take the sprinkled cupcake, at least.”

“Wouldn’t imagine it, Sweetheart.”

With a satisfied hum, Rey began to open the smaller box as Ben took a bite of his chosen delicacy. She unwrapped the box and opened the white lid, gasping quietly whenever her eyes landed on the contents inside. 

It was a necklace. Since she was never one to truly be flashy in accessories, Ben knew this minimalist gift was perfect for her. It was a simple necklace with four little hoops, one large one made of gold and three small silver ones hanging next to it. Underneath, the card read: “Mother of Three.”

“Usually,” Ben began after finishing the strawberry. “The company puts the name of the children underneath. But since we haven’t decided, I didn’t have them include it.”

She released an adoring sigh as she brought the box up closer to her face. “This is absolutely perfect, Ben.” She turned her head to lean against his shoulder, hiding away the tears that were starting to fall down her cheeks.

“Don’t hide, Rey,” Ben chuckled lightly, nuzzling his nose against the top of her head. “I realized that a lot of the necklaces we’ve gotten for you are for more special occasions.”

“I’ll treasure it forever,” she sniffled, pulling away to gaze down into the box. Her index finger went to touch the slender hoops. “Promise.”

A mischievous smile stretched across Ben’s handsome features as he leaned closer to her ear. “Your pretty little collar bone that I love so much deserves something to display. And what better could it be than to be reminded of how loving you in so many pleasurable and physical ways made three little people. To be reminded that the two of us created life as I’m kissing down your body again, and again.”

Rey’s cheeks flushed furiously as she felt a shiver run down her spine from Ben’s immediate closeness, as well as his promiscuity. Swallowing a lump in her throat, one that was a mixture of emotion over how sweet the gift was, and how naughty her husband could turn it. His lips pressed gentle kisses down the side of her face before he nudged her with his own head. 

“Open the next.”

“You’re outright naughty, Solo,” huffed the woman, feeling overwhelmingly aroused by the things whispered to her. Unfortunately, in her current state, she could do nothing about the looming heat from her body that could nearly tremble at his touch. To distract herself, she began to tear at the paper that covered a white box. Pulling off the lid, she nearly fell apart at what was inside. 

It was a hardback book with a glossy cover, the image printed on the front was instantly recognizable. It was by her own hand—a piece she had hung inside her studio. One of her interpretive paintings, with white, blue, pinks, yellow, and a variety of lines and shapes. Over it, in beautiful calligraphy (that she knew far too well) was the title: “Free As A Bird.”

Her shaking fingers lifted the thicker book from the box and began to peel back the cover. Inside, in his normal hand, Ben had written her a personal message:

_“Rey,_

__

__

__

_I titled this collection the way I did because my first impression of your mural in the art gallery at Stanford. The first word that danced into to mind—yes, that’s what it did—was ‘freedom,’ which you knew, even then, resonates deep. I sensed who you were behind those brush strokes and random bouts of color. I felt how liberated you felt as your hands made the image in your mind spring to life. And I knew then, if I hadn’t already, that you are incredibly special._

_(I knew from then, too, that I would make you marry me. A woman who can make anyone weak in the heart but so determined to keep her own reasoning hidden was my kind of girl.)_

_Nevertheless, I found your favorites, the ones that took my breath away, and even things you’ve created with our little girl. The art you based off of my poems are included, which brought tears to my eyes nearly eight years later._

_I think it’s my turn to do the same for you._

_You’ll find my writing among the pages that I thought fit best. Some didn’t need my silly musings because yours are already so profound._

_Let this be a testament of my utter devotion to you, Rey. Let it be a tangible representation of my absolute love for you and all that you are. You’ve been by my side through it all, supporting me in everything. You’ve given me a hope, a number of children, and a future._

_And I vow to do the same. More or less with any more kids._

_The happiest of birthdays to you, Sweetheart. Let’s celebrate this and many more to come._

_I love you immensely,_

_Your Ben.”_

Rey was in tears by the time she finished reading his words, absolutely in love with the man she could call her husband. Her hands went up to wipe away the tears as the man next to her wrapped his arm around her body, holding her close. He could feel her gratitude despite the crying, and knew she was trying to express it through sobs. Grinning down to her, Ben watched as she pulled back to speak. 

“You’re going to have a tough time making next year better,” she said pitifully, making him laugh amusingly. “Because, gracious, do you know how to make everything so perfect.”

“I wouldn’t say perfect,” he shrugged with a cheeky smile. “All I did was snoop through your stuff, nearly all of it, and put it together with a publisher friend.”

“Good thing we’re married or else I would feel like that’s an invasion of privacy.”

“Then I guess it is perfect,” he hummed, stealing a kiss from her slowly, holding the back of her neck with his hand.

“I love you, Ben,” murmured Rey against his soft lips once they broke apart slightly. “With every part of me.”

At that, Ben kissed her once more, this time more passionately than before. It spoke in ways he knew he physically couldn’t to her. If he had tried, he wouldn’t even be able to get out the words over all the waves of emotion that would pulverize his mushy heart. The only way he knew how to express himself was with his mouth, ironically, but in completely different ways. 

He pulled away from her after a minute, looking at her blissful features like they were the world’s most precious of gems. 

“I think the same could be said for me,” he shrugged casually as she scrunched her nose up to him, a clear sign that she was amused. Then, he reached over to the plate he had somehow sat down on the small patio table in front of them. He took up the cupcake that Rey had claimed and began to slowly bring it up close to their faces. 

“If you really do love me, you wouldn’t eat it,” Rey pouted, eyes flickering between the dessert and her sneaky husband. He gazed down to her with an innocent look as he continued to bring the iced cake up to their faces. 

“Ben, please,” she begged further, gripping onto his knee. Stealthily, Ben inched the cupcake closer before he smushed the icing into her face. 

Taken by surprise, his birthday girl squealed as she was covered in sweet, pink frosting, especially over her lips and nose. Ben chuckled as he continued to put icing and cake all over her features. Once he was finished, she blinked past the frosting that made it onto her eyelashes and nearly glared at him. Though, she was too much in love with him and thrilled to be angry. 

Then, Ben leaned in once again to kiss her, this time getting icing all over his lips as well as he held the defiled cupcake between his fingers. 

“Happy Birthday, Sweetheart,” he winked before Rey took the cake from his grasp, taking a bite before pelting it at his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Just another quick little fluff chapter—a cute moment I’ve had in mind for a bit. Another progress chapter between the arrival of the twins. I have a backstory I want to share before we continue on. I think you’ll like it!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all are well! Thank you so much for the kind love and support for this story! Let me know if any ideas or things you’d like to see! I love feedback :) 
> 
> All my love! X


	38. All The Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who knows where the road will lead us  
> Only a fool would say  
> But if you'll let me love you  
> It's for sure I'm gonna love you all the way.”  
> —All The Way; Céline Dion
> 
> —
> 
> Two beautiful stories of how Ben and Ivy’s names came to be.

June 2015

“Ben, I’m nearly a month away from bringing our daughter into this world and we still don’t have a name for her.”

Ben raised a dark brow from his spot on the chair in their living room, glancing up from where he was typing up another script that had popped into his mind. 

His wife, who was on the homestretch of her pregnancy at thirty-eight weeks, was looking at her journal furiously, hand clenched in her short, dark hair, thin glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose. Her belly had grown so much within the last month that she could no longer sit comfortably, so she took to a wide criss-crossed position. She looked so cuddly in the athletic shorts and oversized blue, low cut tunic top, free hand placed on the top of her bump to comfort her anxious mind. 

“Sweetheart, we’ve still got some time before we need to decide. We’ve bounced numerous names off of each other and they just haven’t seemed to work.” Ben looked at her seriously while she lounged on the couch. “Maybe we just won’t know until we see her.”

“But Ben,” she pleaded, hazel eyes turning to her husband, behind the glasses. Rey knew she should probably wear them more, but she didn’t like the idea of them constantly being on her face. “What kind of parents would we be if we didn’t have a name for our baby at the hospital?”

“Normal ones, Rey,” he said, shutting his laptop screen closed. “Contrary to belief, most people don’t have a name solid until they meet their baby for the first time. And even then, their decision is more than likely to change.”

Rey grumbled a tad from her spot, overall displeased with not having a name ready for the baby—their first baby. She had taken the time to read as many parenting books as possible, and many on intentional naming, but still couldn’t find one that suit the little wiggly human growing inside of her. Their baby girl was a blessing and watching her grow so rapidly was a thrill. She moved all the time, especially to the sound of Ben’s voice when he spoke to her at night, and while he read to them.

This little girl was going to be the epitome of a Daddy’s Girl and it thrilled Rey to pieces. Of course, she wanted her daughter to be close to her, but she was more excited to see how Ben would transform into a mushy Girl Dad. 

“It’s just,” she started with a sigh, closing her journal and laying it in her lap. “I had one name my whole life. No middle, no last. Nothing, until I married you, and you so graciously gave me your name.”

Ben gave her a closed smile from his chair, leaning his head back against the comfortable cushion.

“Missus Solo,” he sung, “I would give you my name obligingly any day for the rest of my life.”

The woman’s cheeks rose in a pink flush as she looked down to her belly. Soon, they were going to expand into a family of three and embark on one of the greatest adventures of their lives: parenthood. The mere thought of creating a little human being with Ben was enough to have her in tears. They weren’t getting any younger, and their lives had finally settled in a great place. After losing the baby from her first pregnancy, they were torn apart, more opportunities ripped from their hands, as it always had been for Rey. It destroyed them spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. 

But they never lost their love for each other. Conceiving this baby was another opportunity to reignite the fire in their hearts, and thank goodness for it. 

“I just want her to have one when she enters this side of life,” Rey grinned fondly, going up to wipe away a fallen tear on her cheek. Watch closely, and feeling just how overwhelmed Rey was, Ben rose from his seat and walked over to her. She sniffled, pulling off her glasses to rub her stinging eyes as he leaned his torso down to press a loving kiss to her forehead. There, he nuzzled his nose against the skin there before lowering down onto the cushion next to her, pulling her into his strong embrace. 

“What about Adelaide,” Ben offered, leaning his cheek against her dark hair that was pulled away from her face. Rey had relaxed deeper into her husband’s touch, her hands going to cradle the swell against his side. 

“It’s beautiful, but I don’t think it fits.”

“Calliope?”

“And could go by Callie?”

Ben hummed. 

“Very pretty, but not her.”

“Harper?”

Rey made a noise. “I don’t know, Ben. I just get this feeling that she’s going to be a,” she paused to find the right word to say. “A unique little girl.”

Ben pulled away so he could look at her, amusement written all across her features. “Unique?”

“Yeah,” she nodded with an awkward smile. “Quirky, peculiar. And it’s so funny.”

A chuckle escaped the man next to her as he tilted his head back with mirth. Rey had begun to giggle, pressing a hand to her side carefully as she felt the small babe inside stretch a little limb. 

“How do you know this, Rey?” He now has his famous smile on his face, a sight so rarely authentic that Rey felt blessed to even be in its presence. 

“I think it’s a mumma thing,” she answered honestly. “You get to know a little person a whole lot when you’re with them every day, sharing food, life, and even the same body.”

Ben leaned himself down to nudge his nose against the expanse of Rey’s belly. “If you do so happen to be the quirkiest baby ever, that’s okay. I’m awkward and really tall, so they’ll be watching me instead of you.”

Then, Rey took her turn to laugh at her silly husband, who absolutely adored their little girl. Her hand caressed the swell lovingly before going up to scratch at his scalp. 

“Feeling this way,” Rey admitted, “makes me feel that she needs a name that’s not too cutesy or exaggerated. Something light and fun. Like Gwen, or Kira.”

Ben nodded, acknowledging her feelings as he raised back up into his seated position. As he did so, his eyes landed on the large window opposite of them to the pouring rain. However, it wasn’t the storm that had caught his attention. It was what was growing on the stone siding. 

“Ivy,” he said quietly, brow lowering at the sight. He wasn’t expecting there to be ivy growing on the side of his house. They didn’t even go out to buy the plant in order to help it grow—it was just there, growing all happily in the seventy-degree weather. 

Inwardly groaning, Ben was not excited for the yard work he was doing to have to do the next day. 

Rey’s eyes cut to her husband, gaze wide and surprised at the word he had said. “What?”

“Ivy,” Ben repeated, nodding his head to the direction of the stone wall outside the window. “We’ve got ivy growing on the side of the damn house. I don’t think we ever bought any cuttings to grow in the garden.”

“Ivy,” Rey murmured under her breath as she considered the name of the plant. Thanks to her glasses, she was able to see the plant in clear view from across the room. It looked like something that only grew in a magical fairy garden, something that laced the walls like garland and made everything look enchanting. It was a simple plant that grew in varies shapes and sizes, vines snaking around like quirky little strings. 

It was absolutely perfect. 

The name was short, like Ben’s nickname—Ben—and her own name. It was light on the tongue and didn’t cause a lot of stumbling. She didn’t know of anyone named Ivy, which was a definite deciding factor in what she was going to name her baby girl. 

And watching as the rain quickly rolled down the tops of the leaves, not hindering the growth of the plant whatsoever fascinated the mother-to-be. She adored how it bounced ever so slightly when droplets of water dripped from the edges. This is what she meant when she said she felt this baby deserved a little name that would best fit her.

“Yeah, Rey,” Ben said once more, looking to her with a confused expression. “There’s ivy,” he repeated slower for her, “growing on the wall.”

However, she wasn’t listening any longer. Her eyes were on the plant, hand subconsciously caressing her sweet swell, absolutely sure that was the name their baby was meant to have. Ben followed her line of sight to the window, curious as to what had gotten her so bewildered. 

Then, it hit him. The way she had said the name wasn’t out of confusion. It was a realization—a confirmation. Silently, he gaped at her, lips parted slightly as he studied her. Every ounce of her was confident in her decision, no longer afraid of their girl not having an identity. This made his heart swell with such joy, such excitement that their little girl had a name. 

“You know,” he told her as he leaned in closer to her face. “My grandmother’s name is Iris Virginia.”

Rey furrowed her brow, absolutely baffled by his random comment. She jerked her head back slightly and trained her gaze on him. 

“I thought her name was Padmé?”

“That’s Grandmother,” Ben confirmed. “Dad’s mom, her name is Iris Virginia.”

“Okay,” she replied slowly. At her confusion, but knowing that she was rightfully allowed to be that way, he lifted his hand and placed it on her swell, caressing his thumb against the place his little baby was finishing growing. 

“She hated her name growing up, so she chose a different one when she was old enough.”

“What did she choose?”

He hummed happily, looking down at her bump with all the adoration he could muster. 

“Ivy,” he replied simply.

Rey’s breath hitched as she heard him speak the absolute perfect name for their daughter aloud with a different tone to his voice. It was warm, loving, and divine, as if it was something they’d known all along. Rather than leaning his head towards her, he dipped his chin downward so he could speak to the squiggly girl. 

“You are so, so loved, Sweet Ivy,” Ben spoke quietly to her bump as overjoyed tears streamed silently down her cheeks. Her own hand went to pet the little places Ivy’s limbs were nudging, clearly happy to have heard her daddy speak to her. 

Oh yes, how loved this little Ivy Vine is and would forever be. 

—  
August 1986

“Woah there, Princess,” Han had cautioned with wide eyes as Leia was fondly writing down names on a notepad at their small kitchen table. Luke was on her at side, helping her with names happily when Han piped up from the opposite side. “No son of mine is going to be named after the man I call my father.”

“That’s a little harsh,” Luke grimaced, crossing his arms over his chest. “But I only suggested Ben because of our Uncle Ben.”

Leia’s dark eyes flickered up to meet her groom, who she had married spontaneously nearly four months ago. “Ben is like our father’s brother. One of the best men we know.”

“He’d be honored to have this baby named after him,” finished Luke with a tilt of his head, shaggy blond hair falling slightly in his face. Han looked between the two of them skeptically, thumb rubbing against his fingers in his closed fist. 

“Have you both even met Benroy Solo? The most rigid, hard-ass, lethargic of men?”

“I thought I was looking at him,” Leia responded instantly, a smirk playing on her lips as she teased Han from her seat. She was in a long, stripped blue and white button up, paired with a pair of maternity pants in the same blue color (because like hell if she was going to go with the style of Princess Di’s boxy baby-doll dress). Her bump was now more prominent than ever since her baby was to be due in the next seven weeks.

Luke was probably more excited than either of them at the moment. He was so ready to fulfill his role as an uncle. This was his “younger” sister’s baby; despite being a little worrisome when she told him (as he was the only one other than Han to know), he instantly fell in love with the idea of being cool, like Marty McFly. 

It still astounded him how she was already married and pregnant, not in that order, especially since she was one to be so independent from romance and domesticity. They had both just turned twenty. She barely had the chance to grow out of childhood and now she was having a baby. 

And boy, was their dad furious when he found out that the scoundrel he so despised knocked his precious daughter up. 

Han snickered at her, making a face before returning back to his usual glower. “I’m serious, Leia. I really don’t like the idea of my kid’s name and my dad’s name being three letters apart. The man is literally my worst living nightmare. Think straight-up Ed Rooney from Ferris Bueller.”

Leia cast him a cynical look. “Why? Does order and structure not please your lifestyle?”

“If it were, we wouldn’t be lovers, Sweetheart.”

“Touché,” retorted the soon-to-be mother of his child. She looked back down to her notepad, refusing to be defeated, and began to cross out other names besides the one Luke mentioned. 

“Everyone names their child out of respect for the family member. But, if you haven’t noticed, there’s a reason why my name isn’t Benroy, for fuck’s sake.”

“Because your parents named you Han?” Luke lifted a brow at the older man, receiving a giggle from his twin sister as she wrote down more names that popped into her head. 

“You know,” Han said with squinted eyes, pressing his elbows against the rounded table and leaning in closer to him. “When people tell you both of how ‘smart’ you are, they’re actually referring to smart-ass.”

“Hey,” Luke defended, holding up his hands. “I’m giving you an honest guess.”

“Well, I’ll give you an honest demand. My son will not be named Benroy. Period.”

“You’re right,” Leia nodded her head, eyes trained on Han with a look he could quite explain. Luke’s gaze cut to Leia’s, nearly feeling betrayed by what she was saying. The two of them promised each other one night after a fantastic family outing when they were teenagers that whoever started a family first would name their child after their legendary uncle. They both remembered it clearly because it was one of their most tender of moments as siblings—it really did emphasize just how connected they were. Was she backing out of that now?

“His name won’t be Benroy,” she said simply, looking back at Luke with a different glimmer in her eye. Just by that little twinkle, Luke was reassured. She would definitely keep their promise. 

“Thank you,” sighed her husband, leaning back in his seat relaxingly. “He needs a cool name for a cool kid, like Drew, or Jesse.”

Leia and Luke took a moment to watch him put his hands behind his head lazily. Though each of them be different in genetics, the snarky, playful gaze that they both shared were strikingly identical. 

“That’s too bad,” sighed Leia. “His name is already Ben.” With that, she clicked of her pen, laying it flat on the notepad. Han cursed loudly once the comment registered, jumping up from his chair and leaving the kitchen area flustered beyond belief. He grumbled multiple swears underneath his breath as he stormed out of the kitchen of their new home.

“Like you said,” Luke called after him, smirking mischievously and winking at his laughing sister. “His name’s not Benroy.” 

“Eat shit and die, Skywalker!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Do you ever just fond so hard over your Star Wars ships that it causes you to start fonding over your other Star Wars ship, then you’re just a mushy mess?
> 
> Literally me with everyone and the story GL has created. Ugh.
> 
> So many ideas for so many characters.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! If you liked reading about Luke, Leia, and Han, let me know! But I’ve had these little bits planned for some time now. Just had to find a time to add them in!
> 
> All my love! X


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